when to say yes, how to say no to take control of your life · 2011-09-29 · when to say yes, how...
TRANSCRIPT
When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life
} Can I set limits and still be a loving person? } What are legitimate boundaries? } What if someone is upset or hurt by my
boundaries? } How do I answer someone who wants my time,
love, money, or energy? } Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider
setting boundaries? } Why is it difficult for me to hear no from another
person? } Aren’t boundaries selfish?
} Define what is “me” and “not me” } Helps me keep the good in and the bad out } Show me what I am to own and take
responsibility for
} We are responsible to others and for ourselves
} Galatians 6:2 & 6:5 - Burdens versus loads } Excess burdens that can crush us – times of
crisis and tragedy } Daily load – everyday things we all need to do } Luke 9:23
} Help us distinguish our “property” so that we can take care of it – to keep things that will nurture us inside our fences and keep things that will harm us outside – the good in and the bad out
} Need “gates” to let the bad out when it’s inside (Mark 7:21-23, James 5:16, 1 John 1:9)
} And to let the good in when it’s outside (John 1:12, Revelation 3:20, 2 Corinthians 6:11-13)
} The concept of boundaries comes from the very nature of God – He defines himself as a distinct, separate being, who is responsible for himself
} He tells us about himself (Genesis 12:2, Jeremiah 3:12, Ezekiel 6:9)
} Differentiates himself (Leviticus 11:44, Isaiah 48:12, 1 John 4:16)
} Limits what he will allow (Exodus 20:1-17, Matthew 5:21-6:4)
} Skin } Words, especially “no” } Truth } Geographical Distance } Time } Emotional Distance } Other People } Consequences
} Feelings – signals that alert us to the condition of our heart
} Attitudes – orientation toward something } Beliefs – anything you accept as truth } Behaviors – reaping and sowing } Choices – owning them leads to self-control } Values – what we love and assign importance to } Thoughts – do you let others do your thinking for you? } Desires – wants, dreams, wishes, goals } Love – need to claim our hearts – ability to give and
receive love is our greatest gift
} Do you have any confusion about boundaries – about when and how to draw them, or even if they are okay? What do you think fostered this confusion?
} What burdens have you taken on that God may have never intended you to take on? What motivated you to do so?
} Do you tend to feel responsible for other people’s feelings, choices, and behaviors?
} Are there choices in your life you have failed to take responsibility for? Who are you blaming for the circumstances in your life?