what to say to build relationships

What To Say: To Build Relationships

Mitchell W. Manning, Sr.

What To Say:To Build Relationships

How to use this presentation

1. Review the presentation

2. List key points and questions

3. Discuss with others

4. Decide your next steps

Relationship Development

Design Execute Monitor/Control

Design – determine what is really importantExecute – translate into learning and doingMonitor/Control – translate into performanceContinuous Improvement – Feedback Loop

Continuous Improvement

Keys to Relationships

• Behavioral Skills are the true keys– Presenting Yourself– Managing Information– Presenting Your Ideas– Acquiring and Transferring Knowledge and Skills– Conflict Resolution– Questioning Decisions and Actions

Presenting Yourself

• My job is…• This is what I’m good at…• This is how I work best…• These are my values…(I value/believe…)• This is the contribution I plan to make…• These are the results I expect to deliver…• This is how I expect to be held accountable…

Process for Presenting Your SelfWrite your success stories for sharing using this outline...

• The situation (or task assignment)• Your observation• Your decision• Your action• The result of your action• How I feel about…• What I learned,,,

Managing InformationBecome expert at processing information.

Question Process to Use

What’s happening? Situation Appraisal

What’s wrong? Problem Solving

What are the options? Decision Making

What can go wrong? Potential Problem Analysis

What can be improved? Potential Opportunity Analysis

Situation AppraisalWhat’s happening?

• Identify Concerns

• Set Priority

• Plan Next Steps

• Plan Involvement

Managing InformationBecome expert at processing information.

Problem AnalysisWhat’s Wrong?

• Describe Problem

• Identify Possible Causes

• Evaluate Possible Causes

• Confirm True Cause

Managing InformationBecome expert at processing information.

Decision AnalysisWhat are the options?

• Clarify Purpose

• Identify Options

• Evaluate Each Option

• Assess Risks

• Make Decision

Managing InformationBecome expert at processing information.

Potential Problem AnalysisWhat can go wrong?

• Identify Potential Problems

• Identify Likely Causes

• Take Preventive Action

• Plan Contingent Action

Managing InformationBecome expert at processing information.

Potential Opportunity AnalysisWhat can be improved?

• Identify Potential Opportunity

• Identify Likely Causes

• Take Promoting Action

• Plan Optimizing Action

Managing InformationBecome expert at processing information.

Presenting Your IdeasBecome expert using SOPPADA to present your ideas.

Subject – I want to tell you about...

Objective – This is why...

Present Situation – This is how it is...

Proposal – This is how it can be...

Advantages (top 3) – These are the benefits...

Disadvantages (top 2) – These are negatives...

Action – This is how to do it...

Acquiring and Transferring Knowledge and Skills: Tell -

• What (in under 30 seconds)• Why (in under 90 seconds)• How (action planning)• Example• Application• Evaluation (project management)• Summary and Next Steps

Addressing Performance Issues:Evaluating Others

• Agreement

• Plan

• Process

Conflict Resolution Process:become expert at observing, orienting, deciding and

acting to resolve conflict

Observe

Orient

Decide

Act

The Origin of ConflictIdentify the origin of conflict before attempting to resolve.

Values

Facts

Methods

Objectives

Behavioral Choices for ConflictLearn to use the best choice to resolve conflict.

Collaborate

Confront

Compete

Avoid

Work Behavior ConflictLearn to address the origin of work conflict.

Shared Goals and ValuesHigh

High

Sen

se o

f C

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ol

an

d A

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ntab

ility

Low

Low

Stakeholder Conflict

Balance SynergyLeverage

Company & Shareholders - Profitability - Growth - Reputation

Employee Groups-Equity-Consistency-Teamwork and Collaboration

Individuals- Trust- Security- Fairness- Recognition- Contribution- Growth- Pay & Benefits

Customers- Price/ Value- Service- New Products- Quality

Conflicts from the Hierarchy of Decision-Making

Management•Systems and Processes•Major Impact/ Buy-In

Executive•Direction•Goals•Critical/Sensitive

Individual Employees•Functions and Tasks•Routine/ Operational

Conflict Intervention

Meet with the stakeholderDescribe what they did

Tell them why it is important

Ask them how they feel

Ask them what they will do differently

Confirm their commitment to change

Agree on a schedule for follow-up

Thank them for their commitment

Conflict PreventionShare thoughts, feelings, and rationaleMaintain and enhance self-esteem Listen and respond with empathyClarify and Agree to Next Actions

Questioning Decisions and Actions

1. Why are you doing this? making this commitment?

2. What are your objectives and desired outcomes? intentions?

3. How will you know it has been successful?

4. What have you done to prepare?

5. What can happen? worst case/best case/most likely case?

6. How do you plan to make it work? keep it working?

7. How important is it to you to be successful?

Things you can shareand learn to build relationships:

Interests

Skills/Abilities

Values

Personality attributes

Desired lifestyle

Needs & wants

Experiences

Vocation

Professionalism and Relations:Let professionalism be your calling card and signature.

• Decide what it means to you • Examples of professional behavior

– Arrive at work on time

– Dress appropriately

– Stay current in the field

– Accept responsibility for mistakes

– Complete tasks on time

– Respect organizational norms

– Keep personal business out of the office

– Avoid gossip and the grapevine

Conclusion

I hope you can put What to Say to immediate use to build relationships. Hopefully, my thoughts,

andyour attention, have stimulated your thinking,confirmed your experiences, and given you newideas for building important relationships.

Best Wishes,Mitch Manning Sr.manningmitch@aol.com