w w w. t h e we e k l y b e a n . c a

(306) 463-6383 or e-mail:thebean@sasktel.net

September 29, 2014

You’ve Got to Be Kidding

As part of a nationwide distribution of surplus military equipment, 10 Texas school districts eagerly acquired a total of 64 M-16 rifles, 18 M-14s, 25 automatic pistols and magazines capable of holding 4,500 rounds of ammunition. District officials re-ferred generally to the need to protect against school attacks such as the notorious incidents in Colorado and Connecticut, but a local Houston area police chief, seeking to reassure a nervous public, promised that the equipment would be used only by tactically trained officers and that, otherwise, would be locked in the department’s armory. A critic of the program told KHOU-TV that

statistically, the typical active-shooter school situation lasts 12 minutes, hardly enough time to get to the armory and load up. [KHOU-TV, 9-5-2014]

The Skin Chair

London designer Gigi Barker recently unveiled the Skin chair (priced at the equivalent of about $2,500), made of leather but with a “pheromone-impregnated silicone base” that makes it feel (and smell, perhaps) like one is “lounging in the fleshy, comforting folds of a man’s belly.” The Skin was scheduled for exhibition this month at the London Design Festival. [Quartz, 7-25-201

Town Office Hours: 8:30 am - 4:30 pmMonday to FridayBox 1269 ~ 106-5th Ave E. Kindersley, SK S0L 1S0 (306) 463-2675 www.kindersley.ca

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LIFE LESSONS

* Propane/butane tanks that are full when they are packed, will unexplainably empty themselves before you can reach

the campsite.* Given a chance, matches will find a way to get wet.

* Your side of the tent is the side that leaks.* All foods assume a uniform taste, texture, and color when

freeze-dried.* Divide the number of servings by two when reading the

directions for reconstituting anything freeze-dried.* When reading the instructions of a pump-activated water

filter, “hour” should be substituted for “minute” when reading the average quarts filtered per minute.

* The weight in a backpack can never remain uniformly distributed.

COENZYME Q10 may be helpful in relieving dry mouth

syndrome.

Joey Armstrong, James Gabriel Fonacier, Eliana Mai Francis, Autumn Natalie Gilbert, Chase Guidinger, Kayla Kleinsasser, Hannah Leipert,

Hennessy MacKinnon, Eva Rudolph, Elizabeth Summach, Jasde Head, Kiersten Blythe Holloway, Joanne L. Kleinsasser, Lisa J. Kleinsasser,

Madyson Mathewson, Julie Patton, Dominic Rye, Danielle Stallmann

Co-op Kid’s Club Birthdays of the Week

Customer Appreciation

First Tuesday Each MonthNext Sale

Oct. 7up to 20% off

Regular Prices Storewide

THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL QUOTES FROM 11 YEAR OLDS’ SCIENCE EXAMS:

q ”Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.”q ”When you breathe, you inspire. When you do

not breathe, you expire.”q ”H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.”q ”Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries,

vanes, and caterpillars.”q ”Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines

down on them and makes them perspire.”q The body consists of three parts - the

brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax

contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of

which there are five - a, e, i, o and u.”

TRUCK AND CAR ACCESSORIES AND PERFORMANCE PARTS

Did you hear the story of the two pastors fishing in the stream near the side of the road?

They thoughtfully made a sign that read “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!”

They also made sure every passing car saw the sign

and had ample opportunity to read it.

However, one driver didn’t appreciate their concern.

“Leave us be, you religious fanatics!” he shouted at them.

Just then a big splashing noise occurred, and the two pastors

looked at each other. Finally one spoke...

“Do you think we should just put up a sign that says ‘bridge out’ instead?”

Community Calendar

GROOVY ART CLASSES @ Groovy Dos Art Studio 425 Atlantic Ave, Kerrobert – Call Elaine @ 306-834-4300 Fall Registration Aug 1st to Sept 1stKids Art Classes Class size limited / Registration fee $35 PRE-REGISTRATION REQUIREDTwo kids classes to choose from:DRAWING & SKETCHING Appropriate for ages 9-18. $49* per month + art supply kit (approx $85)ART - IN - COLOR Appropriate for ages 6 and up. $69* per month – art supplies provided.CLASSES BEGIN 2nd week of Sept & run until last week of May following the school calendar for breaks ADULT ART -Projects are student choice. Many themes to choose from or bring your own idea to life. Realistic to Abstract / Landscape / Vehicles / Animals / People. Adult class registration can be booked on a month to month basis. CHEER & TUMBLE - Affordable Gymnastics Classes, ages 2-18, next session starts in April, now accepting applications! - Competitive Cheer Team, ages 5-14 - Birthday Parties Available!Check us out on Facebook Kerrobert Cheer & Tumble. Or Call Tajia @ 306-834-4364SUMMER LANDFILL hours are Tuesday 4:00pm-6:00pm, Thursday 4:00pm-6:00pm and Saturday 9:00am-1:00pm 2:00pm-5:00pm

Birth Matters Heartland offers:Birth Group: 3rd Friday of month Breastfeeding Moms Group: 1st Monday of month Mom-my and Me Walk: Monday at 2, Wednesday at 11 For details and locations please checkwww.birthmattersheartland.com or find us on Facebook.PRAIRIE CROCUS QUILT GUILD meet 2nd Tues.of each month.iKids Club is every Thursday night at 6pm-8PM We follow the school calendar, so if there is a break at school, there is a break at iKids! iKids is $5 per child, there is a special rate for families! We also do birthday parties! Contact Becky for more info! Fol-low the fun at www.ikidsclub.ca and on facebook at iKids Club or email Becky becky@ikidsclub.caWALKING WITH PATHWAY TO WELLNESS Monday & Thurs-day - 9:30 a.m. - 11:30 a.m. Walking Track at the West Central Events Center(indoor shoes required) (wheelchair accessible/elevator)PARKINSON’S SUPPORT GROUP is held the 2nd Wednesday of every month at 2 p.m. in the Fischer Lounge of the Kindersley Hospital. For more information contact Nancy @ 306-463-4514.MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT GROUP meeting every Wednesday at 7:00 p.m. at the Provincial Building 113 2nd Ave East Board Room. For people whose lives are affected by men-tal health issues. Everyone Welcome. For more information call Barb 306-463-4754.HAPPY HOLIDAYS GIFT & CRAFT FAIR- Home business vendors, crafters and artisans reserve your tables now for the November 8th Christmas Trade Fair at the Elk’s Hall. Contact heritageideals@outlook.com or call 306-460-4018 for moreinformation.STEP INTO BEGINNER FITNESS with Pathway to Wellness Mon. - Wed. 7:30pm-8:30pm Oct. 1 - Nov. 30 at the Walking Track at the WCEC.

The Great Calendar Of Events

KINDERSLEY TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) Chapter #1136:Anybody interested in joining or checking out the group are welcome to attend meetings any Monday at 7:00p.m., Kindersley Senior Centre, 115 3rd Ave. E.A.A. - Mon. 8PM at the Legion Hall. Tues 8PM Brock The Vesper Club, Tues. 8PM Leader United Church. Wed. 8PM Eston United Church, Thurs. 8PM Kindersley New Life Church, Fri. 8PM Kindersley Lutheran Church.AL-ANON Mon. 8PM at the Legion Hall Call 306-463-6654or 965-2659.THE OIL WIVES CLUB OF KINDERSLEY, LADIES, If your spouse or significant other, works in the oil patch, you are invit-ed to join the Oil Wives Club of Kindersley in a once a month, fun night of “Fostering Friendship.” contact Mary Ann at 306-463-6164 or 306-463-9352.MUSEUM IS NOW OPEN. Come and check it out.KINDERSLEY FARMERS MARKET Sept. 6 & Sept 20 at the Kindersley Museum from 11am-3pm. KINDER KOLLEGE the newest Day Care Centre in Kindersley is seeking to fill Chair of the Board position immediately and more Board members would be great also, the Board meets once per month. Please call Jodi @ 306-463-4710 for more information.SQUARE DANCE INSTRUCTION begins Sept. 14. Register NOW Phone 306-463-2133 or 306-965-2603.THE KINDERSLEY ROTARY CLUB meets every Wed.at 5:45 PM till 7pm at the Kindersley Inn. Visitors are welcome. Learn about our projects, organization andfellowship.INTERESTED IN PHOTOGRAPHY? Join us - the Gleneath Camera Glub on the first Tues. of the month at 7pm. Sept - June at the Kindersley Senior Centre, 115 3rd Ave E. BABES NIGHT OUT, Friday October 3, 6:30-9:30208 Main Street, Glidden SK, Tickets available at the Door $15. Details on FB, search Birth Matters Heartland or call 306 834 2511. SMILEY LADIES FASHION SHOW – Oct. 17th. Cocktails: 6 pm. Supper: 7 pm, Fashions: 8 pm.Theme: “Bubbles & Bling”Entertainment by “Blueberry Wine”Advance tickets $30.00 ea. Call 306-838-2023 by Oct. 10th to reserve your seat.SMILEY UNITED CHURCH FOWL SUPPER – Sunday Oct. 26th from 5:00 – 7:00 pm. Everyone Welcome.FRIDAY NIGHT DANCE - Oct. 24th at the Kindersley Elks’ HallMusic by “Yesteryear”8:00 – 11:30 pm. All ages welcome.Come join us for the first dance of the season.

 

 

Hi Neighbours: 

SaskBusiness Magazine recently completed  its annual  list of the Top 100 SK Businesses and a  local business was rated  92!  Congratulations  to  Rod MacDiarmid, General Manager,  and  Tom Watt,  Chair,  of  the  Kindersley  and District Co‐operative Association Ltd! 2014 is also the Co‐op's centenary! Millsap Fuel Distributors, locally managed by Michelle Clark and Farm Credit Canada, who also have a local branch, made the list as well. 

A Kindersley connection  ‐  former Mayor John Boquist's son, Trevor, owner of Driving Change Automotive Group Ltd – placed 37 on the list. Congrats Trevor! 

If  you  are wondering  about  the next  generation of business  leaders,  I have  good news. At  this past  summer's Alberta Young Entrepreneurs Camp hosted by Alberta Community Futures (of which CF Meridian is a member, with Vickie Newmeyer as General Manager), all 4 attenders  from Kindersley won awards. Awards were won  for Mr. Entrepreneur, Most Innovative Group, Hardest Working Group, and Spirit. 

The Kindersley Chamber of Commerce is also in the process of introducing awards celebrating business excellence. I am looking forward to learning more about the program and discovering the inaugural winners.  

Finally, congratulations also go  to Kramer Ltd., which has been operating  in Kindersley  for more  than a decade. Last week the company celebrated its 70th anniversary.  

Recognizing Others: 

Do you know a friend, neighbour, or an acquaintance who gives a lot to your group or business, neighbourhood, or civic organization? Please email me their name and what makes them great and I would like to recognize them in this space. Actually, what I would really like to do (but it has been one of those projects that keeps sliding through the cracks)  is develop an award to recognize people and groups who go above and beyond to make Kindersley a vibrant and thriving community. So, if you know of someone, or even an organization, please let me know and I’ll acknowledge them in the Bean. My address: mayorenns‐wind@kindersley.ca. 

Here is a heads up: watch for notices asking for your input into the Kindersley Health Services Needs Assessment. The public sessions will be the first couple of days of October. The consultants were  in town  last week speaking with some stakeholder groups.  

Please write or phone  if you would  like me to discuss a particular topic. If you have any questions or comments, drop me a line at the town office or email me at mayorenns‐wind@kindersley.ca. You can also check out my blog at http://mayorjohn.blogspot.ca/. I appreciate your feedback. 

The Top 10 Signs That You Have A Gambling Problem

10) Most people say “Super Size”; you tell the kid behind the counter: “Hit Me”.

9) You put coins in parking meters hoping for “The Big Payoff”.

8) You videotape Lottery Number announcements.

7) You give odds as to when you’ll mow the lawn.

6) You spend more on doggie treats for “your friends at the track” than you do groceries.

5) You have actually bet on weather forecasts.

4) Your skin is a pasty white color from being inside casinos too long

3) You blow on and then shake the keys before giving them to someone.

2) You get your paycheck each week in chips.

1) You admit to gambling on the out come of every reality television show.

While visiting my sister’s home recently, I walked past my young neice’s room before bedtime and observed her kneeling beside

her bed, with her head bowed and hands folded, repeating the alphabet.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m saying my prayers,” she explained, a sweet smile across her face, “But I couldn’t think of just what I wanted to say. So I’m just

saying all the letters of the alphabet, and God can put them together however he thinks best.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has

something to do with what happened on Sunday night when

she thought she heard a noise downstairs.

She nudged me and whispered, “Wake up, wake up!”

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they’re eating the tuna

casserole I made tonight.”

“That’ll teach them!” I replied.

•popsicles•swag•profits

Follow our Van Tour at: www.summerofswag.ca

1. Which one of following Stooges was not related to the rest?a)Moe b)Curlyc)Shemp d)Larry 2. What kind of an accident did Curly suffer as a teenager?a)He was burned in a fire.b)He shot himself with a gun.c)He almost drown while taking a bath.d)He lost his front teeth in a car wreck.

3. Which stooge was described by Moe as be-ing “an accomplished ballroom dancer, having a beautiful singing voice, and wavy chestnut brown hair, and a waxed mustache”?a)Curly b)Shempc)None of them d)Larry

4. In the mid 1940s, the Stooges packed a New Orleans theater by offering which gimmick?a)An autographed photo of the Stoogesb)A War Bond Rafflec)Buy one ticket, get one for freed)Dinner with the Stooges

5. What was the only feature made with all the Horwitz brothers, Moe, Shemp, and Curly?a)Knutzy Knights b)Blunder Boysc)Fright Nightd)Hold That Lion

6. What was Curly’s actual first name?a)James b)Jeromec)Jasper d)Jason

7. Shemp died after attending which event?a)His son’s graduatonb)Moe’s daugher’s weddingc)A boxing matchd)A car race

8. Which movie did Moe make a solo appear-ance in?a)The Birdsb)Rosemary’s Babyc)Doctor Death, Seeker of Soulsd)Psycho

1. d 2. b, 3. a, 4. a, 5. d, 6. b, 7. c, 8. c

* On 5th October 1974, four years, three months and sixteen days after Dave Kunste set out from Minnesota, he became the first man to walk around the world, having taken more than 20 million steps.* English sailors came to be called Limeys after using lime juice to combat scurvy.* English soldiers were called Tommies because the example name on the soldier forms was Thomas Atkins. (The example name on US forms is John Smith.)* The word “Machiavellian” is named after Niccolo Machiavelli, who was friends with Leonardo da Vinci.* Queen Isabella of Castile, who dispatched Christopher Columbus to find the Americas, boasted that she had only two baths in her life - at her birth and before she got married.* Leonardo da Vinci could write with the one hand and draw with the other simultaneously.* Until he was 18, Woody Allen read virtually nothing but comic books but did show his writing skills. He sold one-liners for ten cents each to gossip columnists.

THE BUZZARD

If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6’ x 8’ and is entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of its ability to fly, will be an abso-lute prisoner. The reason is that a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground with a run of 10-12’. Without space to run,

as is its habit, it will! not even attempt to fly, but will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with no top.

THE BAT

The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a remarkably nimble creature in the air, cannot take off from a level place. If it is placed on the floor or flat ground, all it can do is shuffle about helplessly and painfully until it reaches some slight elevation

from which it can throw itself into the air. Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.

THE BUMBLEBEE

A bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler! , will be there until it dies, unless it is taken out. It never sees the means of escape at the top, but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom. It will seek a way where

none exists, until it completely destroys itself.

PEOPLE

In many ways, we are like the buzzard, the bat and the bumblebee. We struggle about with all our problems and frustrations, never realizing that all we have to do is look up. Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, but faith looks up. Live simply, love generously, care deeply and speak kindly. May your troubles be less, your blessings more, and may nothing but happiness

come through your door.

Did you hear about the man who was looking for a job? He noticed there was an opening at the local zoo. Upon inquiry, he discovered the zoo had a very unusual position that they wanted to fill. Apparently their gorilla had died, and until they could get a new one, they needed someone to dress up in a gorilla suit and act like a gorilla for a few days. He was to

just sit, eat, and sleep. Of course, his identity would be kept a secret, and no one would be the wiser, thanks to a very fine gorilla suit. The zoo offered good pay for this job, so the man

decided to do it. He tried on the suit and sure enough, he looked just like a gorilla.

They led him to the cage; he took a position at the back of the cage and pretended to sleep. But after a while, he got

tired of sitting so he walked around a little bit, jumped up and down and tried a few gorilla noises. The people watching

him seemed to really like that. When he would move or jump around, they would clap and cheer and throw him peanuts. And the man loved peanuts. So he jumped around some

more and tried climbing a tree.

That seemed to really get the crowd excited. They threw more peanuts. Playing to the crowd, he grabbed a vine and swung from one side of the cage to the other. The people

loved it and threw more peanuts.

“Wow! This is great,” he thought. He swung higher and the crowd grew bigger. He continued to swing on the vine,

getting higher and higher and then all of a sudden, the vine broke! He swung up and out of the cage,

landing in the lion’s cage that was next door.

He panicked. There was a huge lion not twenty feet away, and it looked very hungry. So the man in the gorilla suit

started jumping up and down, screaming and yelling, “Help, help! Get me out of here! I’m not really a gorilla! I’m a man in

a gorilla suit! HELP!”

The lion quickly pounced on the man, held him down and said, “Will you be quiet! You’re going to get both of us fired!”

REAL MOTHERS q Real Mothers don’t eat quiche; they don’t have time to make it.

q Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox. q Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.

q Real Mothers know that dried Play-Dough doesn’t come out of shag carpet. q Real Mothers don’t want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.

q Real Mothers sometimes ask “why me?” and get their answer when a little voice says, “Because I love you best.”

q Real Mothers know that a child’s growth is not measured by height or years or grade. It is marked by the progression of Mama to Mommy to Mom.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------REDNECK BUYS A CHAINSAW

A red neck walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that will cut 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The red neck is suitably impressed, and buys it. The next day he brings it back and says,

“This chainsaw is defective. It would only cut down 1 tree and it took ALL DARN DAY!” The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what’s wrong, and the

red neck asks, “What’s that noise?

Get Connected

www.kindersley.ca

Watch Council Meetings online every 2nd and 4th Monday.

with the Town of Kindersley

www.kindersley.ca/counciltvfor the latest in Council decisions, news and Town information.

The Town of Kindersley is pleased to offer you the option to receive your water bill electronically. This convenient and environmentally friendly service is part of our commitment to providing citizens with the best in customer service.

Water E-Billing Now Available

Sign up online at www.kindersley.ca/ebill

Kindersley Administration Office106 5th Avenue EastBox 1269, Kindersley, SK S0L 1S0

Hours of BusinessMonday to Friday

8:30 am to 4:30 pm

306-463-2675office@kindersley.cawww.kindersley.ca

APPLY FOR A

2014 Community GrantFunding for: Kindersley-basednon-profitorganizationsand communitygroupsseekingfundingforlocal projectsthatdevelop,expand,andimprove programsandservicesforresidentsofKindersley and surrounding area.•Amaximumgrantof$750forupto20applicantsannually

FundingwillbeawardedduringtwodistributionperiodsandissubjecttobudgetapprovalbyTownCouncil.

Application Deadline: 4:00 p.m. – September 30, 2014

Viewfullcriteriaanddownloadapplicationformonlineatwww.kindersley.ca/communitygrant.

••••Submit completed applications by

September 30 to ea@kindersley.ca or mail to:Town of Kindersley – Community Grant Program

Box 1269 • Kindersley, SK S0L 1S0

Are you new to Kindersley?Do you want to get involved in the community?Are you interested in Town offered services?Do you want to participate in programs and activities?Are you looking to meet fellow community members?

If you checked any boxes above then Welcome Wednesday is the program for you!

Drop by the West Central Events Centre Lounge at 6pm every 3rd Wednesday of the month to learn more about the community and

connect with others!

Program Starts on May 21st

@townkindersley For more information, please contact culture@kindersley.ca or call 463-2675

JoinusNovember19andevery3rdWednesdayofthemonthWestCentralEventsCentreLounge

Welcome Wednesday in October will be held in conjunction with the Kindersley Chamber of Commerce Welcome Night

Wednesday, October 297:00 pm at the Elks Hall

Are you new to Kindersley?Do you want to get involved in the community?Are you interested in Town offered services?Do you want to participate in programs & activities?Are you looking to meet fellow community members?

6:00 - 7:00 pm

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The next regular meeting of Council is on Tues. October 14 at 6:00 pm Regular meetings are held every 2nd and 4th

Monday of the month, unless otherwise

scheduled

Highlights from the September 22, 2014 Regular Meeting of Council:

Kinder Kollege representatives addressed Council to request a tax abatement for the program, which is based inside Westberry School.

Kindersley Regional Park Authority representative Wayne Foster provided Council with an update on the board’s future plans, which include upgrading electrical services and seeking other feasible options to expand the existing campgrounds.

Council approved a request to permanently remove a decorative streetlamp from in front of 1019 Main Street due to repeated damages, and directed Administration to create an extended curb cut and apron to accommodate parking on the lot subject to all expenses being paid by the property owner. Council defeated a related motion to remove the existing tree adjacent to the property.

Council motioned that the north side of 12th Avenue East near the Suburban ExtendedStay Hotel shall remain a no heavy truckparking zone.

Similarly, Council determined that the north side of the street at 102 12th Avenue East shall also remain a no parking zone, declining a previous request from the business owner.

Council tabled a motion to consider metered parking along service roads and instead directed Administration, along with the Mayor and Chair of the Transportation Committee to meet with affected business owners to discuss concerned related to heavy truck parking.

Council approved 6” water and 8” sanitary service connection lines for the new Canalta Hotel building to be located at 1412 12th Avenue West in order to meet National Building Code fire regulations; and waived the related tie-in fee of $20,000 as requested by Canalta.

In response to a specific request, Council agreed to wait a $104 permit fee for the placement of a monument at the Kindersley Cemetery.

Administration was directed to amend the Tax Exemption Agreement related to an industrial area development, which consisted of amending the starting exemption date, removing four of seven lots from exemption and making the remaining three lots fully exempt for the next three years, or until such time as the lots are sold.

Council directed Administration to authorize construction to connect the Town’s water and sanitary sewer services to the new services at Brookhollow Estates, as per the Development and Servicing Agreement between the Town and Marathon Equities Corp. This work, at an estimated cost of $116,095, will be paid from development fee reserves.

An agreement with Canadian Arena Services was approved by Council for the purposes of training Town arena staff and assisting with preparing the ice at the West Central Events Centre for the upcoming World Junior A Hockey Challenge, at an amount not to exceed $17,000, which is to be paid from recreation general operating.

To hear more of Council’s discussions during this and other Regular Meetings of Council, click the CouncilTV button at www.kindersley.ca.

For the full Council agenda and past minutes, visit www.kindersley.caWatch Council Meeting online at www.kindersley.ca/counciltv

@Town Kindersley

Town Office Hours: 8:30 am - 4:30 pm ~ Monday to FridayBox 1269 ~ 106-5th Ave E. Kindersley, SK S0L 1S0 (306) 463-2675 www.kindersley.ca

RULES FOR VISITING SASKATCHEWAN The following list of rules applies to each person as they enter Saskatchewan Learn ‘em & remember ‘em.

1. Pull up your droopy pants. You look silly. 2. Let’s get this straight; it’s called a “gravel road.” I drive a pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you’re going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.3. They are horses, cattle & oil wells. That’s what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. 4. So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We’re impressed. We have quarter-million dollar, air conditioned tractors that we drive three weeks a year. 5. So every person in every half ton waves. It’s being friendly. Try to understand the concept. 6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time. 7. Yeah, we eat Walleye & Perch. You really want sushi & caviar? It’s available at the corner bait shop. 8. The “Opener” refers to the first day of hockey season. It’s a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of October 9. We open doors for women. That is applied to everyone, regardless of age. 10. No, there’s no “vegetarian special” on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham & turkey. 11. When we set a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. 12. Hockey is as important here as the PGA Tour and The Superbowl combined and a dang site more fun to watch. 14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don’t hit the water hazards ---- it spooks the fish. 15. Universities? Try U of S or the U of R. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays. 16. If yer not cheering for the Roughriders, stay home.