w w w. t h e we e k l y b e a n . c a

(306) 463-6383 or e-mail:thebean@sasktel.net

April 6, 2015

FOR ALL THE ANXIOUS GOLFERS OUT THERE

Eric Bronsveld: I was playing with this 85-year-old man recently on a course that I was unfamiliar

with. On the third hole, I asked him what’s the best part of the fairway to be on, and he replied, “the top.”

Dom Smith: A guy on vacation finishes his round, goes into the clubhouse.

The head pro says, “Did you have a good time out there?”The man replied “Fabulous, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” said the pro. “How did you find the greens?”Said the man: “Easy. I just walked to the end of the fairways and there they were!”

Ralph Schiefer: Last words of a golfer standing in the woods? “I can see a gap.”

Tom Schipper: Guy gets to a long par 3 over water. A voice from above says,

“Hit the new Titleist Pro V.”The guy tees up the Titleist and takes a practice swing.The voice comes back, “Never mind, hit a range ball.”

Town Office Hours: 8:30 am - 4:30 pmMonday to FridayBox 1269 ~ 106-5th Ave E. Kindersley, SK S0L 1S0 (306) 463-2675 www.kindersley.ca

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IF MY BODY WAS A CAR

If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.

I’ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull ... but that’s not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it’s especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with

varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here’s the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter ... either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires !

VITAMIN D deficiency is linked to an increased risk of death from heart failure.

Leah Bennett, Laura Bennett, Lori Bennett, Teagan Elliott, Hayden Gamble, Jessi Geletchuk, Jordyn Gilmour, Leonard Hofer, Melissa Kleinsasser, Helena

LeBruno, Orion Messer, Mackenzie Willmek, Ethan Cummings, Kiptin Henry, Ava Kelly Vashon Weatherbee, Levi Wipf

Co-op Kid’s Club Birthdays of the Week

Final WeekSpring SaleENDS April 10

The topic for my fourth-grade class was genetics. As I was

smiling I pointed to my dimples and asked, “What trait do you think

I passed on to my children?”One student called out, “Wrinkles!”

Little Jacob had a hard time getting use to a new

baby in the house. Coming out of his

bedroom talking rather loud and being told to be quiet, the baby is asleep,

he very seriously said, “Well ya’ll better be quiet, cause my foot`s asleep.”

TRUCK AND CAR ACCESSORIES AND PERFORMANCE PARTS

Top 10 Odd Medical Record Statements

10. “The skin was moist and dry.”9. “The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle,

who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.”8. “The patient was in his usual state of good health until his

airplane ran out of gas and crashed.”7. “The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as

stockbroker instead.”6. “I saw your patient today, who is still under

our car for physical therapy.”5. “While in the emergency room, she was

examined, X-rated and sent home.”4. “She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got

a divorce.”3. “When she fainted, her eyes rolled around

the room.”2. “She is numb from her toes down.”1. “The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the

pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.”

Community Calendar

CHEER & TUMBLE - Affordable Gymnastics Classes, ages 2-18, next session starts in April, now accepting ap-plications! - Competitive Cheer Team, ages 5-14 - Birthday Parties Available! Check us out on Facebook Kerrobert Cheer & Tumble. Or Call Tajia @ 306-834-4364GROOVYDOS ART STUDIO, Kerrobert 306-834-4300. For more info visit: www.groovydos.ca or www.pinterest.com/elaineunruhPAINT-YOUR-OWN-POTTERY Mon- Fri: 1-6pm and Thurs: 4-9pm. Fun for all ages! Big selection for Adults, Teens, Kids & even Dad! Private parties & Group Evening bookings also availableADULT ART CLASSES W/ INSTRUCTION $48 for 5 classes – Thurs 6-9pm. Includes Paint, Brushes, Patterns, Instruction, Glaze & firing (if doing ceramics). Pottery, Canvas & Wood projects available for purchase or bring your own project.

If you would like to submit upcoming events please e-mail them to thebean@sasktel.net or fax them to 306-463-1956.

Birth Matters Heartland offers: Birth Matters Heartland Birth Group upcoming meetings: Feb. 20 Breastfeeding stories. Mar. 20 Origins of health. Apr. 17 Infertility Stories. Meetings are free and all moms are wel-come. www.birthmattersheartland.com or find on fb.PRAIRIE CROCUS QUILT GUILD meet 2nd Tues.of each month.iKids Club is every Thursday night at 6pm-8PM We follow the school calendar, so if there is a break at school, there is a break at iKids! iKids is $5 per child, there is a special rate for families! We also do birthday parties! Contact Becky for more info! Follow the fun at www.ikidsclub.ca and on facebook at iKids Club or email Becky becky@ikidsclub.caWALKING WITH PATHWAY TO WELLNESS Monday & Thursday - 9:30 a.m. - 11:30 a.m. Walking Track at the West Central Events Center(indoor shoes required) (wheelchair accessible/elevator)MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT GROUP meeting the first Wednesday of each month at 7:00 p.m. at the Provincial Building 113 2nd Ave East Board Room. For people whose lives are affected by mental health issues. Everyone Wel-come. For more information call Barb 306-463-4754.Everyone Welcome. Lunch served.KINDERSLEY FRIDAY NIGHT DANCE – April 10th at the Elk’s Hall 8:00 – 11:30 pm. Music by “Leon Ochs”. Everyone welcome. Lunch servedKINDER KOLLEGE child care centre in Kindersley is hir-ing for a position in the infant room, available now. Please call Jodi 306-463-4710.SPRING INTO HEALTH Awareness Day April 15, 2015. @ the Walking Track - West Central Events Center 4:00 - 7:30 p.m. Walk 5 LAPS & ENTER YOUR NAME TO WIN: Gift Certificates totalling $600.00 DONATED BY PATHWAY TO WELLNESS & SUPREME SOURCE FOR SPORTSLOOK WHAT’S HAPPENING AT LUSELAND BIBLE CAMP!!Friday, April 17 at 7 pm - LBC will host The Taylors in concert at: Kindersley Alliance Church - There is no charge for this concert.

The Great Calendar Of Events

KINDERSLEY TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) Chap-ter #1136:Anybody interested in joining or checking out the group are welcome to attend meetings any Monday at 7:00p.m., Kindersley Senior Centre, 115 3rd Ave. E.A.A. - Mon. 8PM at the Legion Hall. Tues 8PM Brock The Vesper Club, Tues. 8PM Leader United Church. Wed. 8PM Eston United Church, Thurs. 8PM Kindersley New Life Church, Fri. 8PM Kindersley Lutheran Church.AL-ANON Mon. 8PM at the Legion Hall Call 306-463-6654 or 965-2659.THE OIL WIVES CLUB OF KINDERSLEY, LADIES, If your spouse or significant other, works in the oil patch, you are invited to join the Oil Wives Club of Kindersley in a once a month, fun night of “Fostering Friendship.” contact Mary Ann at 306-463-6164 or 306-463-9352.PARKINSON’S SUPPORT GROUP is held the 2nd Wednesday of every month at 2 p.m. in the Fischer Lounge of the Kindersley Hospital. For more information contact Nancy @ 306-463-4514.FAIR SHEIK BELLY DANCE troupe practices every Tuesday from 7-8pm and Friday from 7-8am.Contact Evelyn for more information, 306-463-7191.KINDERSLEY & DISTRICT ARTS COUNCIL presents Jimmy Rankin on Fri. April 17 at 7pm at the Norman Ritchie Centre. For more info contact Diane at 306-463-1993.LUSELAND BIBLE CAMP Fundraiser Golf Tournament at: Kindersley Regional Park & Golf Course on Sunday, June 14 at 2 pm. 9-hole Texas Scramble. Best-Ball Foursomes. Enter as a team or individual. Open to men & women. $100 entry fee or fundraiser option. Includes: 9-hole green fee, banquet supper, prizes.For more information and to register for the golf tournie please contact: www.luselandbiblecamp.ca or ‘like’ us on Facebook or email: director@luselandbiblecamp.ca 306-372-4544

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Hi Neighbours: 

The nice weather  is here and  that means our second season, construction,  is around  the corner. This year,  we  are  still  chipping  away  at  our  infrastructure  deficit  with  investment  in  priority  need infrastructure.  

2015 Infrastructure Work 

Water  main  replacements  investment  totals  about $1.6 million  this  year.  The  neighbourhoods  affected include:  5th  St W.,  5th  St  Cres., Queen Dr.,  the  back alley along Close’s Family Foods, and the Thomson Dr. feeder main. Road work will be done on 5th St W., 5th St  Cres.,  and  Queen  Dr.  The  work  will  cost approximately  $1.2 million.  The  overall  cost  of  this important work is about $2.8 million. As an aside, the Medical  Arts  Authority  is  looking  to  spend  about $150,000  to pave  the Clinic parking  lot on  the north side of the building. 

Some capital spending items: land for a new Fire Hall for  $65,000;  new  landfill  $500,000;  and approximately $365,000 at the WCEC, which includes fire  suppression  pipes  and  boilers,  plus we  are  still receiving estimates on other upgrades at the facility.  

The Senior’s bus, a 2000 model,  is being replaced for about  $95,000.  Portions  of  all  capital  project  listed 

above may also be offset from grant funding. 

The  table  above  lists  the  approximate  increase  in  property  taxes  that  other  municipalities  in  the province  are planning.  The  average  increase  is 4.8%, with  the  lowest  increase being 2.57%  in Prince Albert and the highest being 10.4% in Lloydminster. Kindersley’s planned increase of 3% is very much on par with the rest of the province. Given some of the  infrastructure pressures we see coming down the road, I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a larger increase down the road for us. 

Please write or phone  if you would  like me  to discuss a particular  topic.  If you have any questions or comments, drop me a  line at the town office or email me at mayorenns‐wind@kindersley.ca. You can also check out my blog at http://mayorjohn.blogspot.ca/. I appreciate your feedback. 

City Percent Tax IncreaseEstevan 7.00% Humboldt 5.00% Kindersley 3.00% Lloydminster 10.40%Martensville 3.51% Meadow Lake 3.00% Melfort 4.90% Melville 6.00% Moose Jaw 5.13% North Battleford 4.50% Prince Albert 2.57% Regina 3.90% Saskatoon 5.34% Swift Current 3.21% Warman 3.51% Weyburn 5.00% Yorkton 6.00%

Differences Between Man and Women

NamesIf Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Mary, Susan, Claire

and Barbara.If John, Brad, Tony and Daniel go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy,

Peanut-Head and Godzilla.Eating Out

When the bill arrives, John, Brad, Tony and Daniel will each throw in $20, even though the total is only $34.25. None of them will have any smaller bills and none will admit they want

change back.When Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MoneyA man will pay $10 for a $5 item he needs.

A woman will pay $5 for a $10 item that she doesn’t need, because it’s on sale.Bathrooms

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Motel 6.

The average number of items in a woman’s bathroom is 328. The average man would not be able to identify most of them.

ArgumentsWomen always have the last word in an argument. Anything a man adds after that is the

beginning of a new argument.Cats

Women love cats.Men may say they love cats, but when women are not looking, will men kick cats.

HOW TO KNOW WHETHER YOU ARE READY TO HAVE KIDS OR NOT

MESS TEST Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind

the couch and leave it there all summer. TOY TEST

Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos (or you may substitute roofing tacks). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream

because this would wake a child at night. GROCERY STORE TEST

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms

stay inside. FEEDING TEST

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending

to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor. NIGHT TEST

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00p.m., begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00p.m. Lay down your bag and set

your alarm for 10:00p.m.Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00a.m. Set alarm for 5:00a.m. Get up and make

breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful. FINAL ASSIGNMENT

Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child’s table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this

experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

ATV RAMP

Designed for all ATVs

Fits full or short bed trucks

850 lb. load rating

Highway 7 East, Kindersley www.boychuksales.com

306-463-6511 * 1-877-433-3337

1. Who set a record by winning eight Grammy awards in 1984?a) U2 b) Whamc) Hall and Oates d) Michael Jackson2. Haley Joel Osment was born in 1988, and starred in a number of successful films as a child. In which of these films did he not appear?a) Artificial Intelligence; AIb) Pay It Forwardc)Back to the Futured)The Sixth Sense3. Which well-known American actor, who starred in the films ‘Seven’, ‘Troy’ and ‘Interview with the Vampire’, dressed up as a chicken on a Los Angeles Street, advertising a fast food restaurant, to help fund his acting lessons?a) Tom Hanks b) Dustin Hoffmanc) Tom Cruise d) Brad Pitt4. What show made Tori Spelling famous?a) One Tree Hill b) Beverly Hills 90210c) Gossip Girl d) American Idol

5. Which actor was a “sweathog”, danced his way through “Saturday Night Fever” and took to the road on a motorcycle in “Wild Hogs”?a) Tim Allen b) John Travoltac) Gabe Kaplan d) Kevin Bacon6. Which iconic TV sex symbol lost her battle with cancer on June 25, 2009, but was pushed to the back burner of media attention when Michael Jackson died just hours later?a) Elizabeth Montgomeryb) Pamela Andersonc) Farrah Fawcettd) Anna Nicole Smith7. This cowboy couple, famous for singing “Happy Trails”, were the godparents of Little Rascal Carl ‘Alfalfa’ Switzer. Who are they?a) Gene Autry and Ina Spiveyb) Bob Steele and Virginia Tatemc) Rex Bell and Clara Bowd) Roy Rogers and Dale Evans

1. d, 2.c, 3.d, 4.b, 5.b, 6.c, 7.d

Any type of cardboard or boxboard is accepted (eg: cereal boxes,

detergent, sugar bags, flour bags, cat/dog food bags & brown paper

bags). No oily, waxy or bloody cardboard!

w The word “Checkmate” in chess comes from the Persian phrase “Shah Mat”, which means “the king is dead”w Did you know that there are coffee flavored PEZ?w Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the correct order, as does arsenious, meaning “containing arsenic.”w Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason.w According to acupuncturists, there is a point on the head that you can press to control your appetite. It is located in the hollow just in front of the flap of the ear.w When opossums are playing ‘possum, they are not “playing.” They actually pass out from sheer terror.w Because of the rotation of the earth, an object can be thrown farther if it is thrown west.w An animal epidemic is called an epizootic.

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office.“Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication you

prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,“I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition, because this prescription is marked ‘NO REFILLS’.”

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A man was telling his neighbour, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four hundred dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.’

‘Really,’ answered the neighbour, ‘What kind is it?’

‘Twelve thirty.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a “Living Will”

“Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull

the plug.”

His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all the beer.

When to seek professional help for anxiety

While self-help coping strategies for anxiety can be very effective, if your worries and fears have become so great that they’re causing extreme distress or disrupting your daily routine, it is important to

seek professional help.

If you’re experiencing a lot of physical anxiety symptoms, you should start by getting a medical checkup. Your doctor can check

to make sure that your anxiety isn’t caused by a medical condition, such as a thyroid problem, hypoglycemia, or asthma, etc. Since

certain drugs and supplements can cause anxiety, your doctor will also want to know about any prescriptions, overthe-countermedications, herbal remedies, and recreational drugs you

are taking.

If your physician rules out a medical cause, the next step is to consult with a mental health professional that has experience

treating anxiety disorders. The mental health professional will work with you to determine the cause and type of your anxiety

disorder and devise a course of treatment