Welcome back to the Vetinari Dualegacy! This is Chapter 24.75: Enter Sandman!

So, it's only been, like, nine months since I updated. Yeah. I know. BAD DOC. GO SIT IN THE CORNER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID.

I'll do a Big Teen Post next time. Quickie recap, Jack is the Uglacy heir, he's the one who's a Teen right now, the other two are Paulie (black hair, black eyes) and George (blonde), Jojo is the Prettacy heir (guy with dreadlocks), Lawrin is his twin sister, they are both Teens, and the blonde Prettacy kid is Ben, and he doesn't like Jojo. Jack is Romance, Jojo is Pleasure, Lawrin is Family, and none of them rolled any annoying LTWs.

Also, Gilbert had it out with his mother, kicked her out, and then asked Cass to move in. Cass said yes, to the surprise of exactly no one.

Moving on!

“How's it going, Mister Didn't-Come-Home-Last-Night?”

“Well, you know... Didn't come home last night, Miss-Totally-Forgot-You're-Actually-A-Brunette.”

“Figured it was a time for a change.”

“Yeah, I get that. Believe me, I get that.”

“So I take it you and Gil finally sealed the deal?”

“In more ways than one. He had it out with his mom because of me, and he told me he loved me. And, you know, I love him too.”

“That's a pretty big step, Cass.”

“He's amazing. How can I not love him?”

“So why do I get the feeling that you're not done talking here?”

“He asked me to move in with him. And I said yes. I just wanted to tell you in person.”

“You're sure about this?”

“Positive.”

“Then I hope the two of you are happy with each other.”

“We are. And maybe you and the kids could come by for dinner some time.”

“That'd be nice. I know they'll miss you.”

“I'll miss you guys too. But I need to do this for me.”

The Uglacy boys. Jack's the Teen. He is not Neat. Got an iron stomach on him, though. Routinely eats green buzzy food, and never gets any ill effects from it. The other two are not a whole lot neater.

This is not a neat household in general. Sometimes I miss the days of Larch and his Neatness.

This is Stevie, the Gen 8 heir. Remember him? He's one business shy of Permaplat, and he still needs his Gold Robotics and Cosmetology badges. The Robotics badge isn't bad, but Cosmetology? See the comments last slide re: neat points, and lack thereof.

He did manage to get the gold Robotics badge not long after this, and there was much rejoicing.

OK, some rejoicing.

OK, I sighed in relief and let him go put a shirt on.

“Oh, hey Bucky! I didn't expect you to stop over today.”

“Have you got a minute? Marco and I need to talk to you. And Stevie. And what's-his-name. The heir.”

“Jack. Which you should know.”

“Meh. Details, details.”

“I'll go get everyone. Meet us in the kitchen?”

“We're all here. What's this about, Uncle Bucky?”

“Tess, you were just a kid, so you probably won't remember this. After Uncle Archie died, but before Dad... Gramma and Grandpa and Mal and Dad and Marco and I sat down and had a talk about the Legacy and what had happened with Cypress. About things the heir would need to do. Marco and I promised that we'd take care of things if anything happened to Dad.”

“That's when they told me I had to be the Black Sheep. I was not looking forward to it. Being a PlantSim's not bad, though. Pollen Cloud Prank is awesome.”

“Focus, Marco. We talked about this, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wouldn't give me the attitude if my Fairy Nerdmother had let my personality stay werewolfy.”

“Marco. Focus.”

“Fine, fine. Okay, so the deal was that Gramma said there's this thing that all the heirs have to know. Larch did... something... that no one really knows what that is, exactly, but at some point, when Cypress makes a move, whatever he did will kick in, and everything will be sunshine and puppy dogs. Or something. Anyway, the important thing is the phrase 'When the time is right, let the rain wash away the sins of the past.' No, we don't know what that means, and neither did Gramma, and we don't know when the time will be right, or if it even will, or how anyone will know what's going on. So that's it. 'When the time is right, let the rain wash away the sins of the past.' That's the thing everyone has to know.”

“And you waited until now to tell me this why?”

“Um... We knew? And Mal knows. If anything happened to you, there were people who could tell Stevie. But now, the three people who need to know are in this room, so we only have to do this once.”

“So it was pure laziness?”

“Lazy-ish?”

“But that means it's Dad or me, right? What if we can't tell if the time is right or not? And what if it's not even raining?”

“Probably, don't know, don't know.”

“Do you think this is maybe a lot of pressure for a teenager?”

“Hey, you're not any younger than we were.”

“It's okay, Jack. Barring unforeseen murder, I won't be dead when your kid's born. You won't be on your own. We'll figure it out together.”

“That makes me feel better, yeah.”

“About the rain thing...”

“No idea, Tess. Believe me, we'd tell you if we had any clue at all. Whatever Larch planned, he played it close to the vest. Which isn't a bad thing—if no one knows, no one can leak it to Cypress. The message about the rain is vague as hell, but Gramma and Dad believed that it would make sense, so we all have to trust in them—and in Larch.”

“I saw Kitty earlier. Did Fair come too?”

“Yeah, he's here. But he was the same age as you, so he didn't get in on the big confab when Marco and I were teenagers, so there was no point in having him here here. Last time I saw him...”

“...he was out back with Dad.”

With the family business out of the way, Stevie and Jack headed out for the business of business. Stevie still needs a Level 10, and Jack needs some Business Perks.

Back at Attractive Stuff, Stevie let the tickets sell themselves and started giving Jack the Connections Rewards.

Now that Stevie doesn't actually need this business for anything, all the playables in the neighborhood came out of the woodwork. Jordan, Reed, Ang's Simself, Nolan, Oz Warner, Max Landgraab...

Yes, I know most of you have forgotten who most of those Sims are, but I remember, and I always get a kick out of seeing them around.

Ang (peasant007) writes the Devereaux Legacy.Oz Warner is on loan from ladylarkrune's Yakko's World OWBC.

Back home, the kids skill like all good little Legacy boys.

I'd say “good little Legacy boys and girls,” but this is my game here. Girls are an endangered species.

Fair is smiling! Mark that down on the calendar!

...The trick is to invite him over and Influence him to clean. He enjoys it, and it's cheaper than a maid.

Fair cleans up, and Tess and Brad get dirty, so it all works out.

Brad still eschews pants as frequently as he can.

Brad was forced to put on real pants to help out at the last of Stevie's businesses, aptly named Stevie's Pants.

Since Stevie's chained to the Cosmetology chair, Jack came along to run the register. Francie (Stevie's wife) stayed home with Paulie and George.

What Stevie's Pants sells is clothes, and all the miscellaneous stuff Stevie has collected in his inventory, particularly from getting the badges. And fish. The big robots are the Sucker Cakes for Stevie's Pants, and Tess and Brad can both Dazzle them away and turn a profit.

“All right! We're totally clipboard twins!”

“Sir, would you care to explain why you're selling defective robots?”

“Defective? Just because they spark doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them! Even sparky robots deserve a good home and some love. Don't hate, Clipboard Twin. Learn to love little sparky robots for what they really are, because aren't we all just little sparky robots?”

“I just had the most amazing conversation with the distinguished gentleman in the Hawaiian shirt over there!”

“Oh, geez. What did he say?”

“It's okay! You deserve a Best of the Best Award for being the best little sparky robot you can be!”

“Thanks? I guess?”

Stevie continued to chip away at his Cosmetology badge. This meant more than a few dissatisfied clients, and one or two punitive makeovers.

ANDREW PEARSON, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID.

Tess continued to sell like a champ. Chad, however, wisely decided not to buy a fish. Hapless Townies, on the other hand, were unable to resist the Dazzle to buy a broken Sentrybot.

In other news, Brad took pity on Chester Gieke and his buttcrack and talked him into fixing his sartorial crisis.

Rhea did something useful for once and threw the last star needed for Stevie's Pants to reach the Top Level.

That is not nearly as dirty as it sounds.

And NO, Rhea. I STILL DON'T LIKE YOU.

I cheated Stevie Permaplat, since he lost three businesses to a rebuild, but we did them, and they totally still count.

However, no one was allowed to leave, since Stevie still needed his gold Cosmetology badge.

Stevie continued to dole out the makeovers, and the bad ones got fewer and farther between. Chad was being a bit of a drama queen, so he got a monocle. Stevie was smart enough to not mess with SimNerd, which she greatly appreciated.

In the end, it was Pigtails the Ice Queen of Bluewater Village who was Stevie's final victim.

And now Stevie never needs to give another makeover again, ever.

We are both happy about that.

Jack was also happy to be home. He's a Romance Sim, so he wasn't exactly thrilled to spend several days running a register on a community lot. In the interest of keeping him sane, I sent him out to the Wishing Well for friends.

Jack zoomed in on Pigtail Braids, who, if memory serves, was Finn's first kiss, but that was in the old neighborhood, and Townies don't seem to care anyway. The voyeur in the vest was Cassidy's first boyfriend.

After nine generations, the Townies have been around. Pretty much all of them.

Finn's wife Rosemarie likes to come in and haunt. Brad the Hippie's a Pop Sim and so is she, so I feel like this is just one of those attempts at getting 1000 Aspiration.

Tess is still competing for Grandmother of the Year. I don't think anyone's told her that's not an actual thing.

Ben and Tina Traveler followed Paulie and George home from school, and they did the traditional water balloon fight in the yard.

I was tired of the rest of the BV Children and Teens stalking my Sims. They are no longer Children and Teens.

I grew them up to Adult.

What, you thought I killed them or something?

Don't be silly! They're fireproof!

I checked.

It all got to be a bit too much for Paulie, who eventually crashed on the living room couch next to his mother.

Francine is still working her way up the Education ladder. She is low-maintenance and keeps herself happy, which keeps me happy. Two thumbs up, Francie!

When Paulie finally manages to make it to bed, Brad goes upstairs and makes sure they're all tucked in and safe.

While Brad was upstairs with the grandkids, Tess was teaching Groosalugg (the Brave and Undefeated) to Play Dead.

Considering the circumstances, watching Tess fake death is sort of morbid. I do not blame Groosalugg for being concerned.

There is still plenty of time for romance.

Brad is happy, because it means no pants.

The twins spent their last day as children making poor decisions about which jack-in-the-box to play with and trying to get taken away by the Social Worker.

Thanks, guys.

“I look like my dad!”Sadly, yes.

George Smith Vetinari is a Pisces 2/3/10/6/10 and he rolled Popularity.

I think. Don't quote me on that. Like, 95% sure it's Pop.

I sort of slacked off on writing things down.

“I still look like my mom!”But you got your dad's eyes!

Paul Jones Vetinari is a Sagittarius 2/7/10/10/6 Romance Sim.

Definitely Romance. 100% on that. Rolled a career LTW.

Three boys, and two of them are Romance and Outgoing. Yeah, this will end well, I'm sure.

A short while later, Death Spicoli came for Brad.

“Right on, man! ...Is this pineapple juice organic?”

“Shheeeyah, brah! And the tiki cup was handmade by native artisans using traditional methods! The rum's ethically sourced too.”

“Righteous!”

It took a few minutes for it to sink in, floating urn notwithstanding.

Once the fun was over, the reality sank in. Brad the Hippie was now all-natural, organic fertilizer.

Just the way he always wanted it.

Brad “the Hippie” Cooper Vetinari lived 75 days and had 4 children and 5 grandchildren. He topped Journalism and helped Stevie out at the businesses.

He left money to 19 people, including $9400 to Stevie, $8200 to Abel, $2425 to Jack, $2000 to George, and $20000 to Tess.

Brad, I will miss the randomness, but not the recent refusal to wear trousers.

Paulie got a makeover. I didn't want George to feel left out, so I gave him another one too.

Tess cried about Brad for a while, but seemed pretty accepting of it in general.

And I even remembered to have her empty out her inventory and give all the goodies to Stevie.

Lawrin picked sort of a bad day to follow Jack home from school, all things considered.

Happily, even though Outgoing points abound, Lawrin's Family, and therefore has zero chemistry with any of the Uglacy boys.

Not that that ever really stops any of them. Indy and Coco, I am looking at YOU.

Thus began the traditional send-off of the heir.

Fair and Bucky even managed to behave themselves.

Tess made the rounds with the hugs.

George decided to try to break the tension by ramming his arm straight through Jack's head.

Tess found the whole thing extremely amusing.

The Servo is Susan Calvin, Chad's robot. She followed Francie home from work.

Paulie was the first one to figure out what was going on.

“Can I come see my daddy now, Mr. Death?”

“Sure. Everybody's waiting on the beach.”

Fair bawled, which surprised me. He's not much for crying.

I felt bad for him. He really took it hard.

Marco and Bucky didn't seem terribly perturbed.

Bucky got some Aspiration for Meet Someone New, which is strange, since he's Mean, and Shy, and Fortune.

At least he didn't turn right around and Prank Lawrin, since that wouldn't be totally out of character for him.

Tesla Vetinari lived 76 days. She had 4 children and 5 grandchildren.

She left money to 30 people, including $9700 to Stevie, $9200 to Abel, $2475 to Paulie, $2450 to George, and $920 to Nikolai.

Tess, you grew up without your daddy and you had five times as many Nice points as your three brothers combined, but you kicked butt when you needed to and you didn't take any crap from anyone.

Later that night, Finn decided to wander in the house and scare the crap out of Paulie.

Paulie was not amused.

The Uglacy crowd managed a family breakfast, which was mostly a cloud of flying cereal and shoveling food into oversized mouths.

Francie's the neat one. She has FOUR whole Neat points.

That evening, Francie came home Permaplat. She's the last one for the generation.

And that is the last from the Uglacy!

“Hey, Dad. ...No, things are pretty good over here. Managing to keep busy. Talked to Mal yesterday; she invited me for dinner this weekend, so I guess that means she forgives me for my bad behavior.”

“Yeah, I heard about Tess. I'm sorry. I should have called. I guess I still have to work on not being an asshole. ...Can I call you back later?”

“I'm kind of busy right now. I'll catch you later, okay? Bye, Dad.”

At the Prettacy, Lindsay dragged Jojo to Swings 'n' Things for the ceremonial Passing Along of the Business Perks.

Jojo has ten Nice points, in case you couldn't tell.

“Uncle Sawchuk, are you sure you just have to deal with being the normal one? There's no Option B?”

“Around here, 'normal' is pretty flexible. Learn to go with the flow, Ben. You'll be happier for it.”

“But I have to deal with Joe Cotton.”

“He's your brother, not an enemy. I bet he's not half as bad as you're making him out to be.”

“He's worse.”

“But if I've removed your air horn, how will you fart?”

“Jojo is outside being dumb again.”

“Why do you care? Just loosen up and get your groove on!”

“No.”

“Apparently it's a bad idea to hate-stalk my brother.”

“What's that, Slartibartfast? You say Benjy doesn't like me? Don't be silly! Everyone likes me! I'm very likeable!”

And that is the last from the Prettacy.

“I'm back, Gil! They didn't have the exact kind of stinky cheese you wanted, but the guy at the counter gave me a different stinky cheese and said it was almost the same. Hope you don't mind!”

“I got everything else on your shopping list, though. If we invite my sister and the kids over for dinner, we'll have plenty of food.”

“Sounds good, right? What do you say: help me carry in the groceries?”

“Oh, Cassidy...”

“...When have I ever helped you with anything?”

“Jake?! What...”

“No! You can't be here! What did you do with Gilbert?”

“Still clinging to that little fantasy of yours, Cassidy?”

“What are you talking about? What did you do to him?”

“I didn't do anything. Gilbert's not real. He is a figment of your imagination.”

“He's not! He's real and he loves me!”

“No, Cassidy. Poor broken little thing. You don't remember, do you?”

“I remember leaving you!”

“You didn't leave me. How could you? I'll tell you what happened, since you seem confused. Your brother was murdered, and you had a complete break with reality. You imagined an elaborate fantasy world for yourself, including a fake boyfriend. But none of it happened. None of it is real. This is real. I am real. And now that you're starting to come back to reality, we can pick up where we left off.”

“No! You're lying! I left you and I met Gilbert and I moved in with him and that all happened! It's all real!”

“Do you really think you could leave me? You need me, and you know that. Gilbert and this place, they're just a comfortable lie. You don't need the lie anymore, Cassidy. It's time to come back to the real world now. It's time to come back to me.”

“No...”

“No, I... I left you. I did. And I'm with Gilbert now, and he loves me, and he doesn't make me feel bad, and... And that's what's real. Isn't it? I'm not... I'm not crazy. I'm not. Am I?”

“If you don't know, doesn't that answer the question?”

“Get away from me!”

“You don't really mean that. You know you need me.”

“I don't!”

“Of course you do. Haven't you always needed the way I make you feel?”

“I...”

“Come on, Cassidy. Don't you want me to touch you again?”

“No! I said get away! I mean it!”

“Or you'll what?”

“Just leave me alone!”

“Cass! Cass, honey, wake up! You're having a nightmare. Come on, wake up.”

“Leave you alone? You used to beg for this, Cassidy. Tell me you haven't forgotten already.”

“I left you... I walked away...”

“You didn't.”

“Please, Cass, wake up. Oh God, please wake up, please!”“Dammit Cassidy, wake up!”

“Please, Jake, let me go. I don't want this. Just let me go.”

“No. You're mine, Cassidy.”

“Please...”

“Cass, baby, wake up, come on. Open your eyes. Please, Cass!”“Cassidy! Wake! Up!”

“Stop it! You're hurting me!”

“Don't I always hurt you, Cassidy? And you always let me, because you know it's no better than you deserve.”

“No...”

“Why won't you wake up? Cassidy, wake up, please! Come on, honey, wake up.”“Listen to me, Cassidy! Wake up! Right now! Goddammit, Cass...”

“WAKE UP!”

“Gaaaah!”

“God, Cass--”

“No!”

“Aaagh!”

“Nononononononono...”

“Can't breathe...”

“Cass! Shhh, it's okay.”

“I can't breathe!”

“Deep breaths. It was just a dream, Cassidy. It was just a nightmare. None of it was real. It's okay; I'm right here.”

“It felt real. I couldn't wake up.”

“It wasn't real, I promise.”

“I couldn't wake up!”

“I know. You were starting to scare me. But it's okay now.”

“It felt so real! He said this was the lie.”

“This is real. You're really here, and you're really safe, and I really love you, and I really won't let anyone hurt you.”

“I barfed.”

“I know. It's all right. Everything will be okay, Cassidy.”

“Why couldn't I wake up?”

“You did, though. You woke up and it was just a dream and it's over now.”

“But it wasn't over. It wasn't over for a long, long time.”

“It's over now, and that's what matters.”

“I wanna talk to my brother.”

“Okay, we'll just go back to bed and—”

“No!”

“All right. We'll just stay here then. Whatever you want.”

“I can't go back to bed.”

“It's fine. You can just sleep here, Cassidy. It's okay.”

“I couldn't wake up.”

“I know. I was trying, Cass, I was. You were really deep in there.”

“Jake was lying, wasn't he? I really didn't go crazy, and I really did leave Jake, and Gilbert and I really are in love?”

“You know the truth. Jake hurt you, and you left, and things are better now.”

“You're still dead.”

“And that's okay too.”

“Can you make it so that doesn't happen again?”

“I can't control your dreams, Cass, but I can pull you out of them. You were really deep into it tonight. It took a lot to get you to wake up. You were fighting it.”

“I'm sorry.”

“I should be the one apologizing. I'm sorry I couldn't figure out how to make it stop sooner.”

“I wish you could make it better.”

“Do you think that maybe you've already got the person who can make it better?”

“Maybe.”

“Go back home and let your boyfriend take care of you. Gilbert can do more for you than I can right now.”

“I miss you.”

“But you're okay. That's the important thing. Now go home, Cass.”

“Gil?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

“You're welcome, Cass. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“And you. Be glad that I can stop Cass from seeing you. Those are questions I don't want to answer. It's bad enough I have you coming here uninvited, especially when I had to expend so much power to pull my brother out of his nightmare.”

“You almost make it sound like you're not happy to see me.”

“Whatever gives you that idea? The fact that I'm not, perhaps? The thing about being Dead is that it gives me a lot of time to think, and I came to some rather unpleasant conclusions.”

“About me? You barely know me.”

“About you, about Larch, about Sycamore, about the whole damn thing. And I'm no longer the scared, lonely, naïve kid that gotten taken advantage of. So this is the last time you come to my garden, understand?”

“We had a deal, Spider Jerusalem.”

“I'm a man of my word. The deal stands. But there are things that live out there, in the spaces in between, and the next time you try to come here, I will leave you out there, with them. They normally feed on life energy, so I don't know what they'd do with a soulless metal thing like you, but I can't imagine it'll be fun.”

“Would you really do that?”

“Do you really want to test me? I will help you, but that doesn't mean I have to like you. This place is my home, my sanctuary, and you are no longer welcome here. Now fuck off.”

“You should learn to control that temper.”

“Fuck. Off. Or you'll see what my temper can do. You won't like it. And when the time comes, neither will my father.”

So yeah, that's where I'm leaving it for now. Don't worry, the next update shouldn't take me nine months to get out. Ballparking it, I'm 7 updates from the end. As in, The End.

One of the reasons it took me this long to update was that I wanted some very specific poses that didn't already exist. I had to grit my teeth and learn to make a posebox. The learning curve was... yeah. But as you can see, I did finally get it to work. I'll post a tutorial at some point.

And yes, I will post the box itself within the next week or so. I need to add a Snap Reset and slap a texture on it before I send it out into the world, and take some reference shots to stick into the folder (although the poses do actually have DESCRIPTIVE NAMES, none of that “pose one” bullshit).

No, I will not make you a posebox. If I owe you a favor, we can talk, but in general, no. I don't have the time to take requests.

I also need to give props to ladylarkrune, peasant007, and rosefyre for providing me with beer, pie, coffee, and nibbles during the actual writing of this chapter.