the vetinari dualegacy chapter 1

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Welcome back to the Vetinari Dualegacy! Or, if you missed the College Prologue, just plain welcome.So here's the setup. Those two guys are my Legacy Founders. Yup, Founders in the plural. This is a regular 10-Gen Legacy with a twist. Two twists. OK, so maybe not a regular 10-Gen Legacy after all. Isaac, up there on the left, is my Prettacy Founder, mainly because he liked the hot Dormie chick the best. Orson, on the right, is my Uglacy Founder. That's right--TWO concurrent Legacies.

The point, you may ask? Well, aside from demonstrating my willingness to jump off a cliff and see if I can fly, the point is to see how far apart we can get the exact same genetics in ten generations of selective breeding. See, Isaac and Orson aren't just brothers, they're identical twins, from facial features to turnons to personality. Ten generations from now, we'll see just how different they can become.

And now, on with the show!

Orson Vetinari, founder of the Uglacy half of the Vetinari Dualegacy. He's a Popularity Sim with a LTW of Celebrity Chef, and an Aries 5/6/6/3/5. Behind him you see his shack, a 3x5 box with a door, a shower, a toilet, a sink, a dresser, and a single bed. He's currently a Natural Scientist (just to bring in some cash until Culinary comes up as a job), which is happily lucrative, so he should have more rooms soon enough.

Orson is named for Orson Scott Card, who wrote Ender's Game, which should be required reading for everyone attending junior high/middle school.And, of course, Vetinari comes from the manipulative, intelligent, vaguely Machiavellian Patrician of Ankh-Morpork from Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels.Why, yes, I read a lot, why do you ask?

So this is it--most of Orson's worldly possessions, out on the lawn. And yeah, this is a 5x5 lot, but I read and reread the Legacy rules, and it didn't say we weren't allowed to send them home from college with inventories full of useful things such as showers and beds.

I should mention that I've chosen the Well-Dressed Sims, Legacy Tree, Free-Roaming Ghost, and Storyteller handicaps. You can't see it, but trust me, there's an apple tree on the lot.

And the pictures still sort of suck; if that bothers you, I suggest skipping ahead to Chapter 2. You've been warned, so please don't complain about the pictures at this juncture. They get better, I promise!

Day 3: All the furniture's inside! Yaaay! Especially since it's winter and now Orson doesn't have to risk frostbite to watch TV! Isn't that great, Orson?"Whatever. You know, back at the dorms there were people to feed me and clean up after me. Can't I go back to college?"No. Enjoy your squalor."Hey, Supreme Nerd? This bites."So, by extension, I bite?"No no no no no! You're the best Supreme Nerd ever! Please don't dress me like a reject from the Village People!"Smart boy.

Kicking it over to the Prettacy, here's Isaac Vetinari. Same personality as his brother, Aries 5/6/6/3/5, but he's a Pleasure Seeker with the LTW of 50 Dream Dates. The difference in Aspiration is due to the obligatory sophomore year re-roll for young adult Founders.

I got him a job in Show Biz. He looks thrilled about it, no?

Isaac is named for Isaac Asimov, whose contributions to science fiction are immeasurable. Each generation will have a name theme that spans the Legacies. Gen 1 here is Sci-Fi authors.

And here's his little box-with-a-roof, and his Legacy Tree.

"Why is my bed in the bathroom?"Ask not why the bed is in the bathroom, ask why the toilet and shower are in the bedroom."OK, why's the toilet in the bedroom?"Because you have 85 bucks to your name, and can't afford any more walls."I don't even have a fridge!"Yeah, sorry about that. Had to sell it so I could buy your tree."But it's winter! I can't even eat the fruit off the tree!"Look, bub, I never said this would be easy."But I'm a PLEASURE Sim!" *sobs*

"Hey, you're cute! Wanna flirt with me and give me an aspiration boost before I go to work?""I guess? Is this how you greet all your new neighbors?""Yes! Whoooooo Pleasure Sims!"

He has two bolts for her; too bad she's playable.

"... We will never speak of this again."*snort* Oh, this is going down in the photo album, Fryboy.

Bet you're glad to have walls around the toilet now, eh?"Why can't it be sunny and warm? Why does it have to be WINTER?"Beats me. Your couch looks good under that white blanket, though.

"WHEEEEEEE PLEASURE SIM!"You keep rolling wants to skill. You're the weirdest Pleasure Sim I've ever had.

Dude--you're OUT of the fry suit. Why the frowny face?"I haven't been on a date in three whole days!"Would you like to wear the fry suit for ever and ever?"I can't help it! I need the ladies!" *sobs*

"WHEEE! I can twist myself into a pretzel!"Well, he needed to max Body and wanted to gain a skill point. Like I said, weirdest Pleasure Sim ever. He hasn't wanted to jump on the couch once."Well, I only have three playful points!"Also true.

Back to the Uglacy, Permaplat for Orson! Top of the Culinary Career, aw yeah! Although I'm kicking myself for not getting the cowplant when I had the chance *facepalm*"I still live in a dump, but I feel oddly happy."Get used to it, pal! Um, the happy part, not the living in a dump part.

The inside of the slightly less crappy house. Orson really likes red."It matches my girlfriend's hair!"I think I might barf now.

So Orson calls up said girlfriend, PseudoBruty, and..."Marry me, PseudoBruty!""Of course! Mainly because no one else will touch me!"

Well, at least she's not a Romance Sim, so she won't be growing up in Aspiration Failure.

"I love confetti!"That's nice, PseudoBruty."Who are you?"I'm sure Orson will tell you all about me. Suffice it to say, you want to keep me happy. See, if I'm happy, then you get to be happy. Fear the wrath of Supreme Nerd!

This is PseudoBruty all grown up. Her name's Yvette something. Robinson, maybe. Yeah, why not, we'll call it Robinson. Knowledge Sim, wants to become Criminal Mastermind, Virgo, 9/2/6/3/5. And came into the house with 17K, surprisingly, so way to go PseudoBruty! I may even use your name from now on after that little gift. But don't count on it.

Enter one marriage outside in the dark in winter with no one around except for that weird guy in the front yard.

Obligatory post-wedding smoochies.

Aaaand the obligatory post-wedding demented glowing purple hearts. No lullaby, though. Orson and PseudoBruty will have to keep trying. Not that they'll mind much.

Next door, Isaac discovers the Energizer."WHOOOOOOOOO! I can go on a date nooooowwwww!"

"Calista, you're amazing! You're the best girlfriend ever!""You're just saying that because I'm cute!""No, really!""Really?"

"Really!"Wanna quick way to a dream date, kids? Propose!"Squeeee! I'm a Family Sim, this rules!""I'm a Pleasure Sim, so I get a boost from the date!"And everybody wins!

So Calista moves in and grows up in a shower of confetti.

Calista Bendett after her makeover. I usually find that hairstyle too severe, but I think she works it. She's a Family Sim, Cancer 6/3/6/4/6, with a LTW to graduate 3 children from college. She brought in 16K, so well done Calista! You get a name, unlike PseudoBruty.

Autonomous flirting--gotta love it!"Heh, and I got an aspiration boost from it too!""So did I!"I never woulda guessed that a Family Sim and a Pleasure Sim would get along so well, but they really do.

Autonomous smoochies! These two are so cute together it makes me want to hork!

Huh. I know they've done the WooHoo before, but she gets the demented purple guy. Guess it doesn't count until they're playable. Good to know.

Orson's still having private moments too. I'm spare you a better look. PseudoBruty is not someone that needs to be kissing anyone else up close and personal."Hey, I thought you were going to use my name from now on!"Erm... What's your name again?

Heh. Finally some lullaby action. Now to begin my "please only one baby" chant.

Pleaseonlyonebaby. Pleaseonlyonebaby. Pleaseonlyonebaby. Pleaseonlyonebaby.

PseudoBruty Yvette post-makeover. She's really not that ugly. Her thumbnail looks way worse." 'Not that ugly?' Some compliment!"Keep that up and it's the ninja mask for you.

She looked more Brutylicious in college. Ah well, still 9 generations to go!

Seems like PseudoBruty is having morning sickness. She keeps rolling wants for dates and flirting. I think she's a closet *gasp* ROMANCE Sim! Gah, even more of a PseudoBruty than advertised!

PseudoBruty's first bump. She looks surprised. Or possibly horrified. Or perhaps like a fish out of water gasping to breathe. It's so hard to tell.

I've never had anyone get this before, mainly because no one wanted into Culinary. This thing's wicked lucrative. Work harder, candy-slave!"Are we back to the 'slave' business?"Yes. And send a box of that my way; it's been a rough week.

Typewriter whatsits for selling a great novel. This fulfills a want of his and also the Storyteller Handicap requirement."I sold a great novel!"Based on your thought bubbles, it was heavy on the PseudoBruty WooHoo, snow, and sumo wrestlers. I don't even want to know what that plot was like. But still, props to you."Whoo! I wanna do it again!"Seriously, he does. Sell a Masterpiece and Sell a Great Novel have become his Want Panel Spam.

Second bump for PseudoBruty. Orson looks so peaceful here, and let's face it, wouldn't you rather look at him than her?"You just like me 'cause I'm Permaplat."And because you don't look like you've smashed your face into a brick wall. I think I will miss you when you're gone.

Here's the birth of the first potential Vetinari Uglacy heir. I've arbitrarily decided that Generation 2 will be named after trees.

Also, the birthing process does not make PseudoBruty more attractive.

Awwww... Look at little Larch! He's blonde like his daddy. All babies are cute, but I have hopes that he'll grow into some ugliness.

Worst...Mother...Ever. Leaves the baby ON THE FLOOR so she can MAKE THE BED! Yeah, so you don't have a crib yet, but seriously, feed him, hold him, cuddle him--there are more important things than making the bed, PseudoBruty! I WAS going to use your name now that you're the mother of a potential heir, but you just lost that right. Stupid PseudoBruty."What's that screaming noise?"Oh, nothing--just YOUR FIRSTBORN SON! Where the heck is Orson? You better hope he's a better parent than you are, or you're gonna be paying for a nanny, and no one wants that.

Good Orson! Hooray for you cuddling the baby!"He kinda looks like me, don'tcha think?"He's a baby. They all look like babies."But he has my nose, right?"You're still not real clear on this Uglacy thing, are you?

Uncle Isaac's here for a visit! Wotcha, Isaac?"Geez, you're still here?"Sheeyeah, like I'm going anywhere! Supreme Nerd is EVERYWHERE, buddy!"That doesn't give me Warm Fuzzies."It's not meant to. Hey, at least you get to marry the cute chick.

Man, even Uncle Isaac spends more time with Larch than PseudoBruty does.

Of course, he can't figure out that if he changes Larch's diaper, he'll stop screaming. But the attempted mollifying is cute. Poor li'l Larch.

Daddy Orson to the rescue--no more green stench cloud here! He's so good with the baby, it almost makes up for PseudoBruty being useless.

I mean, Larch isn't even that ugly as a toddler! I hope he gets uglier as he ages--this isn't the Vetinari Prettacy, after all. Larch is an Aries like his dad, only 10/10/9/3/1. Yup, a neat freak with ONE nice point. This is quite possibly one of the worst personalities I've seen in a while, coming a close second to the 10/9/0/10/0 I got in my custom 'hood (and that's not a typo--he's ten nine zero ten zero--a lazy and mean playful outgoing neat freak).

Not to be outdone, Calista gets her first bump as well. After a considerable amount of Try for Baby, I might add. Isaac was happy, he got Dream Dates out of all of it. Pleasure Sims *eyeroll*

Wanna know how to get a Dream Date, kids? Get married in the middle of it! Yeah, it occurred to me that I hadn't done that yet when she rolled the want on the date."I, Isaac, take you Calista, in morning sickness and in Energizer-induced health, in five bucks to my name and in just-got-a-50K-bonus, to be my wife."

"I, Calista, take you Isaac, in living-on-the-lawn and in gigantic mansion, in screaming children and in hot tub WooHoo, to be my husband." *pause* "Wait, you just got a 50K bonus?""Uh, yeah, did I not mention that?"

"Mmmmmph.""Wow, I guess she likes the guys with the cash."

Second bump for Calista. Happily, she rolled Have a Baby, which is now locked.

Pleaseonlyonebaby. Pleaseonlyonebaby. Pleaseonlyonebaby. Pleaseonlyonebaby.

Meanwhile, Isaac tries to burn the house down. Now aren't you glad I made you sell your stove when you moved in so you could buy the fire alarm?"Pleasure Sim hate fire!"

"What are YOU looking at? Haven't you ever seen a pregnant lady wearing pajamas and a lightbulb hat pull a horsie out of a dead guy before?"

This was shortly followed by...

Banyan! We have GOT to do something about those eyebrows, little girl!

Where's PseudoBruty? She needs to see this. And yeah, I know PseudoBruty's Knowledge and Calista's Family, but I've had Knowledge Sims that were decent parents, and didn't, say, put the newborn on the ground so they could make the bed. And yeah, I'm still kinda bitter about that.

"Look, honey, I'm all thin again!""Pleasure Sim gets aspiration boost from hug!""How much aspiration will Pleasure Sim get from more Try for Baby?""Lots!"

Autonomous adorableness. He's so unlike a Pleasure Sim, it makes me sad that that's what he got on the re-roll. Isaac would have rocked at anything else. Except maybe Romance.

This ended tragically about three seconds later. I'll spare you the picture.

Over at Casa Uglacy, Orson discovers the Energizer."Thhiiiisssss ffeeeeeellllllllsssss grreeeeeaaaaatttttt!"Just be glad you're Permaplat, buddy.

Larch says "Daddy" for the first time. Orson is very proud.

"Hmmm. With words, I can get people to do my bidding. My Eeevil bidding!"

Orson teaches Larch to walk, and now all that's left is to play with the bunny head for a few days.

Why, yes, PseudoBruty. Yes you are."Hey, didn't I already do this once?"An heir and a spare, honey, an heir and a spare.

First bump. Hey, in two days, you'll have another kid to ignore!"Kid? Another kid? What are you talking about?"Oooooorsooooon! Get in here and stop me from boolpropping PseudoBruty to death, thus violating the hell out of Legacy rules!" 'Kay, just let me make the bed first."*fumes*

"If you drop me, I will kill you.""Aw, don't say that, Larch! You love your daddy!""My one nice point says different, pops. If I hit the ground, you'd better sleep with one eye open.""Such a kidder!"He's not. He's really, really not.

"Muahahahaha! I'm so charismatic, I can get anyone to do my submit to my will! My Eeevil will!"Whoa, li'l dude. You're a bit young to be that sinister, no?"No! I may still be in footie pajamas, but my ambition knows no bounds! I will not rest until the whole of the world is held in my iron-fisted grasp!"Heh. We'll see about that, Mini-Mussolini. You have a sibling on the way, and you're not guaranteed anything!

"Larch, the square peg goes in the square hole.""When I rule all, the square pegs go wherever I say they go.""No, no, the one on the end. See?"Poor Orson hasn't got a clue.

Right. So here's Larch as a child. Other than a wonky jaw, he looks distressingly normal.

Larch really doesn't seem to have a lot of PseudoBruty in him. Bummer. Maybe it'll hit when he ages to teen. Of course, not that looking like Orson is a bad thing.

"You forgot to mention the Eeevil!"Dude, you didn't get the evil from your parents--they both have 5 Nice points."Nice points are for pansies."Gah, maybe your sibling will be less malevolent.Pleaseonlyonebaby. Pleaseonlyonebaby. Pleaseonlyonebaby. Pleaseonlyonebaby.

"This is all your fault, Orson Vetinari!""Meh, I guess so."

I just love the body language here. She's doubled over screaming in agony, and he looks like he's about to sneeze.

Continuing the Tree theme, this wee lad here is little Cypress.

And this is probably the last time we will ever see PseudoBruty and Cy this close. Happily, she has provided an heir and a spare, and is therefore no longer necessary. I see jumping in puddles in the rain and watching clouds in her future.

"It's a baby!"Yes, you dink. Yes it is. Now go take him from your wife before she puts him in the freezer or something.

Nanny must die! Poor li'l Cy's in that crib all stinky, and Nanny is staring at a BLANK television! Apparently if she can't feed him a bottle every thirty seconds due to the fridge mysteriously facing the wall, she's not going to mind him at all! My cowplant hindsight continues to plague me.

"I got an A+ in World Domination! Look! Look! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mooooom!"She doesn't care, kid."Then she will be first against the wall when the revolution comes!"Whatever blows your hair back.

On a side note, he looks sort of weird from this angle. Perhaps there's hope for him yet in the Uglacy department.

I miss Cy's birthday, but Orson's there in the pinch.

NOOOOOOOOO! First-Born Effect! *string of expletives deleted* Aries 10/10/9/3/1, JUST like Larch! They even look identical!

Great. Now I've TWO evil children spawned from my Uglacy. I blame PseudoBruty.

"Can you say 'teddy,' Cy?""Eeevil teddy!""Just teddy.""Eeevil teddy!""Seriously, just teddy. Man, I got another evil one, don't I?"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that. Forgot to roll the dice. But I'm blaming PseudoBruty anyway.

Over in the Prettacy, Banyan grows up to a toddler with the help of Calista.

"Whee!""Want...another...baby...NOW!"

How cute is this? Isaac looks so happy!"Mmmm. Toddler means more Try for Baby with wife. Pleasure Sim likey."

Check out Bana's skill bar--first time out of the gate, and she's talking!

And second time out she says "Daddy!"

I love the Smartmilk/Thinking Cap combo. Extra-useful in the fall.

Typewriter thingamabob for Storyteller handicap."I sold a great novel!" *thinks* "Hey, wait, I didn't get any aspiration for that!"

"Wheee! Do it again, Daddy!"Wow. Totally different from the kids next door, that's for sure. Bana's a Gemini, 2/7/10/3/7. Not an evil bone in sight, even if she will shortly enjoy farting at the dinner table.

"Heh. You think I'm hot."Dude, you're PIXELLATED."But if I weren't, you'd totally think I was hot."You have Dumbo ears and an odd jaw."C'mon, tell the truth."OK, it's the abs. I never should have let you max Body. *covers face in shame*

Autonomous playing! I totally remember doing this with my parents.

And I finally got round to building Isaac, Calista, and Banyan a better house. The wall in the back left is for the portraits and graves. The Legacy Tree is over there; Isaac has to be buried under it *sniffle* when he finally goes.

Bana fishing. She looks quite a bit like her cousin (sorry, Eeevil cousin) Larch.

Her jaw's less wonky, though. And I think she got her mother's eyes.

Yup, all the aspiration boosting, er, Try for Baby while dating, paid off. Calista's pregnant again!"Come here, my pregnant darling! Daddy dropped down into gold and needs a shot of that smoochin'!""I'm having a baaaby, I'm having a baaaby!"

And so I leave you with Calista getting an Energizer boost to avoid the "hunger, bladder, and energy needs are all in the very dark orange" conundrum.

Next Chapter: Eeevil Larch teenager-ifies, only-slightly-less-Eeevil-Cypress-but-only-because-he's-younger-and-has-less-practice grows up, the Prettacy house grows larger while a Foreboding of Doom proves to be horribly, horribly correct. Also PseudoBruty will probably find new ways to annoy me.