Welcome back to the Vetinari Dualegacy! This is Chapter 22.5: It Could Be Yours Tonight!

Last time, Whitney and Arthur got old, Howie and Sawchuk left for college, Tess drank Marco, Cass and Gil went for dinner, and Cypress had a moment of crazy-go-nuts and killed his erstwhile girlfriend Tiffany. Also, some of the spare-types got together: Inara and Six Landgraab, Edmund Fitzgerald and Channon, Wydah and Mitch, and Joyce and Brett.

That catches you up with the high points! And now to our story in progress...

Unless his Motives are in the orange, Stevie is chained to the toymaking bench. My little Uglacy heir has the LTW of 5 Top Level Businesses, and if he's going to end up with all of the Business Perks and a bunch of gold badges, I may as well shoot for the Master Point and get him ALL of the gold badges.

It wouldn't be so bad, except that Mr. Slobbypants up there is going to have a real hard time with the Cosmetology badge. I detect many unhappy made-over customers in our future.

For now, though, he's happy to turn a block of wood into a kite.

“Vex? If I ask real nice, will you do my homework?”

“No.”

“Pleeeeaaaaase?”

“No.”

Tess and Brad, meanwhile, are still Tess and Brad.

Tess adores Billy Fordham, and Brad is less fond of the Dance Sphere.

“Are you gonna punch me hard?”

“Do you want me to?”

“No. That's no fun.”

“Okay then.”

“You know my brother Abel?”

“Sure.”

“He's super-nice, too. And a Pop Sim. And not the heir. And he's totally fun.”

“Really?”

“Yup.”

“Thanks for talking me up to the hot girl.”

“No problem. I got your back. But you remember the deal, right?”

“You get Kaylee to go out with me, I am your business slave?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Dad would so not approve.”

“Which means he would totally approve.”

“So you know SimNerd?”

“Yeah, she's a friend of my mom's.”

“She totally killed this nanny this one time!”

“Ehehehe! NPC murder is funny!”

“I know!”

“You're pretty funny too.”

“Er... You really think so?”

“Sure!”

I don't think Stacie will mind Kaylee and Abel. Abe's sweet, and totally adorkable, and this is a match made in naked-hot-tub heaven.

You begin to see the problems with getting Stevie 5 Level 10 Businesses and all of his gold badges. He thinks that the Ventrilo-fart is an appropriate way to greet customers.

And yeah, I know Finn's Fins doesn't count towards his business total, but it's easy to run with three Sims, has almost zero overhead, and already has so many customer loyalty stars that even if they lose a few while the boys are earning their badges, the business won't drop a level.

“Hi! Buy a fish!”

“I bought fish from my brother, and you, sir, are not my brother.”

“I'll just stand here and grin at you until you buy a fish!”

“Fine, fine, just don't expect me to eat it.”

“I do not want any suspicious fish, Abel.”

“But you have four cats. Cats love fish! And they don't even care where the fish have been!”

“Keep talking.”

“Don't you want to help a doofy Pop Sim?”

“...Sold.”

“SimNerd would want you to buy a pants-fish.”

“Alas, she is married to another man, and therefore I cannot in good conscience do anything that might be considered courtship.”

“You're just buying a fish, not asking her on a date.”

“You make an excellent point. I shall take three.”

“You need that boot!”

“I've already bought a boot from here.”

“But if you buy another boot, then you'll have a pair.”

“Hmmmm... OK, I'll take it!”

“Fish!”

“Fiiiiish!”

“FISH!”

“Boot!”

“Boot?”

“Boooooooot.”

“Boot!”

Abel was the top salesman, but Stevie did manage to get his gold sales, register, and restocking badges. And when it was time to send the customers home and close up shop, he was the go-to guy, much to Sheldon's dismay.

Seriously, I have to get this kid a gold Cosmetology badge. *sobs*

Stevie's not the only one with a business, though. It's time for Whitney to Pass Along the Communications Perks to Aurie and Lindsay, and with a ticket-taker lot, it's easy enough to do that while the lot is open.

Swings 'n' Things is a SimSelf magnet, as Gin could tell you.

GintasticNecat writes The Science of a Legacy. Previously seen at Finn's Fins were Professor Butters (Squeaky Clean Legacy) and OhRubyBlue (Goldilocks and the Nine Heirs).

And here we have Little Nemo (the Far Away from Eden Apocalypse), wondering where the pool is; Dicreasy (Victorian Legacy), making sure her hubby Indy is staying out of trouble; and Jwoodsbuzz, getting into an altercation with a Townie.

Earlier at Finn's Fins, we also saw Theo Harrison, from Di's Legacy.

No matter what else is on the lot, the swingsets are still the biggest draw, as tlhs0 (the Barsoom Legacy) and EphemeralToast (the Ugothlacy and the Apocalypso-A-Go-Go) were kind enough to demonstrate.

Toast's husband Billy also showed up to swing for a while.

There were also the usual crop of undesirables, of course. Righthand Townie is a known troublemaker, but Lefthand Townie decided to challenge her for the title.

Lefthand Townie wreaked a fair amount of havoc on the other customers, until he picked the wrong one to mess with.

He was solidly trounced by SimNerd, who does not take crap from uppity Townies. He should just be glad that she left her Mortality Adjuster at home.

This also changed some of the neighborhood gossip. Now, instead of talking about who SimNerd killed, they talk about how she kicked this guy's ass. I don't think she minds.

SimNerd was not the only one beset by angry Townies. Naked Victor also found himself cornered by Redhead and Minidress. They took turns picking fights with him.

Bell was pretty funny through the whole thing. He kept talking to Redhead and Minidress, trying to distract them from the inevitable beating that would happen when they finally pushed Naked Victor too far.

However, Redhead would not be denied, and Naked Victor got another fight win under his belt.

Indy kept showing up. Most of the time, he was well-behaved, and perfectly happy to enjoy himself on the swings.

Of course, Indy is still Indy, and nobody gets away with pranking him.

Fortunately for Blondie, Di showed up and dragged Indy away.

After about a week and a half at Swings 'n' Things, Aurie's Aspiration was low, so it was time to Wish for Friends and score a date out of the deal.

For some reason, I always seem to do this after dark, which presents some problems.

Calista, in this case. Since the rebuild, she doesn't come inside anymore, but anyone hanging around outside after dark is fair game.

And no, this doesn't mean that Aurie isn't the heir. I am still undecided, but you can feel free to weigh in for either her or Lindsay.

Aurie's a Romancer with a “number” LTW. If she's the heir, she'll just have a more flexible gender preference than past heirs.

I know I did a “number” LTW with Finn without making him bi at all, but Aurie just seems like the equal-opportunity type.

But no, I am not sending Hat Tricou to Uni. Based on Aurie's Want Panel, I doubt she'll care if she never sees Hat Tricou again.

Over at the Uglacy, Tess and Brad are far too good together. They are totally devoted to each other.

Rosemarie's tombstone migrated to the back deck, where she died, and now I guess she thinks she died of Hunger?

I hope this isn't a sign of bad things to come, because this is almost the Gen 8 college years, and I'm so close to the end that I'd hate to have to rebuild again. I do have some backups, but I'd rather not have to take any steps backwards, you know?

I'm wondering if Summoning Kestrel in, having him rez Rosemarie, and then kill her by Old Age would fix things or make it worse. Making things worse: DO NOT WANT.

Vex and Stevie get a little before-school Red Hands in.

Vex doesn't mind helping Stevie at the businesses so much. He rolls Wants for skill badges, so he can keep himself pretty happy.

“Dad? Can I go out tonight?”

“Don't ask! Just go! Sneak Out! Break some rules!”

“Um... Okay.”

I swear these poor kids are cursed. None of them have managed to successfully Sneak Out at the Uglacy this generation.

What makes it worse is that they're so nice, they take it really hard when they get brought home by the cops.

This is a pretty typical dinnertime. Someone's playing with Billy Fordham, someone's grabbing a plate of something sparkly, and someone's doing a maxed-Nice Idle animation.

“I made a fire truck! Can I have another business now?”

Awww, I can't argue with him, and he needs five of the darn things anyway.

Welcome to the perfect business for a 10-Nice-Point Pop Sim: I Wuv You Beary Much!

I Wuv You Beary Much stocks bears!

Some of them are cute and cuddly, some... aren't.

All of the bear recolors are from Mod the Sims.

If you've read EphemeralToast's business tutorial chapters of the Ugothlacy, you'll remember the concept of a Sucker Cake. If you haven't, you should! The basic concept is something bought in Wholesale Mode and priced at Ridiculously Expensive that you can Show To customers with money to burn, and then Dazzle until they buy it.

The evil vampire bear statue recolor is I Wuv You Beary Much's Sucker Cake.

“The evil clown bears are telling me to kill! Make it stop!”

Vex steps up to the Sales plate, Dazzling Simon into a bunnybear.

“Great-grandpa! You need a giant vampire bear statue!”

“Do I?”

“You do!”

“I suppose so.”

Malcolm is the first victim of the Sucker Cake.

I have no idea where he's going to put this thing in Landgraab Manor.

“Buy a bear!”

“I don't need a bear.”

“But you can still buy one.”

“Well, as long as I don't have to eat it...”

“Hmmm, I like the look of the little alien bear.”

Mal was smarter than her father, and avoided the Sucker Cake.

Nothing says “trouble” like Prof, a prank-happy Grand Vampire, and a werewolf on the same lot.

On the other hand, Nikki Despret there matches the decor.

Happily, Prof chose to ignore Count von Goopynose, and bought herself a mummy bear instead. I'm sure the cats will love having something new to shred.

Jason Larson made the mistake of walking around not looking at the merchandise. Sucker Cake time!

No one attempts to start water balloon fights on this community lot, Jason Larson! You will buy the evil vampire bear statue, and you will like it!

“You want a bear!”

“I don't want a bear.”

“You do!”

“I don't.”

“You do!”

“Okay.”

MichelleFobbs created the Planetary Apocalypse.

With so many Vetinaris in town, they're good for the businesses. Becca needs a zombie bear, dontcha know.

Tolly was a little confused about why he was there. Did someone say Sucker Cake?

Uncle Bell kept coming back for more. He spent a lot of time at Swings 'n' Things, and was one of the best customers at I Wuv You Beary Much.

Uncle Carver, on the other hand, is a real pain. He'd show up, not buy anything, and lose stars. Finally, I started asking him to leave as soon as he showed up. Usually I only do that for irritating Townies and Lisa Ramirez.

Despite Carver and the occasional Grand Vamp, the boys got I Wuv You Beary Much up to Level 10, so that's one down and four to go for Stevie.

Businesses or not, Stevie's still a Pop Sim, and he's always happy to make friends with the people who follow them home from school. In this case, it was Nuala and Chantal.

“Birthday time! One last chance for some adult smooches!”

“No complaints from me!”

Yes, it's true, Tess and Brad the Hippie are finally growing old!

Tess looks really horrible in orange. Brad's clothes turned out less bad, if totally wrong for him.

I really wish someone had made a “skullet” hair, but alas, there is no balding ponytail option.

See? Wouldn't a balding ponytail look so fun with the beard?

At least the sweater-vest is more “aging hippie” than a green polo shirt.

He continues to do random things that amuse me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I don't need pictures of people playing with the little robots anymore.

Tess is still Tess. I think the steel-gray hair suits her the way it didn't suit Whitney.

“Oh, wow! Fish and kites and daisies and a half-eaten cake! My favorite!”

“Oh, wow! Five half-eaten cakes and a pie! My favorite!”

Vex and Abel were getting ready to go to college, and getting Vex his Bronze Gardening Badge was the only thing that was going to get his Aspiration up so that he could be happy about it. Stevie and Abe got to sleep; Vex was up until the wee hours with a hoe and some seeds.

He ignored the things for over 30 days, and now he can't leave them alone. Brad the Hippie is now obsessed with the little robots.

“Bye, Mom!”

“Bye! You have a good time at college! Try not to study so much that you don't have any fun!”

“There will be plenty of fun.”

“And if you get homesick, there are probably still some grilled cheese sandwiches in the fridge!”

“I will keep that in mind.”

“Bye, Mom!”

“Try not to spend too much time naked in the hot tub, okay?”

“I make no promises about nudity.”

With a cheery wave, Abel and Delvecchio are off to college. Four down, three to go!

This is Dawn, the latest attempt at a mate for Mr. Trick. Time will tell if this will work out or not. It seems like every time they're getting close to having a high enough relationship to breed, one or the other of them does something to mess it up.

Dawn is certainly Aurie's favorite of the rotating cast of kitties.

Artie's the one with the highest relationship with both cats, though. If the cats ever manage to have a decently high relationship with each other, Artie will be the one to initiate the kittens. Here's hoping that will eventually happen!

Aside from problematic felines, things are pretty normal at the Prettacy. Actually, though, problematic felines are also normal here.

I mean, where else can you see an old man in an evil Spandex suit play punching games with his daughter, while his other daughter waves cheerfully and his wife is just waiting for him to be freed up for a pillow fight?

“You going to Sneak Out tonight?”

“Of course not! I would never do something like that!”

“Well, your dad and I will be out of the way at 4am.”

“Cool! ...Is what I would say if I were going to Sneak Out. Which I'm not.”

I managed to get Whitney and Artie their two bolts back, and now they're acting like they're three-bolt college kids, even though they never actually were three-bolters.

See what I mean? When left to their own devices, they're all over each other, constantly.

I do not mind. They rarely did this when they were younger, and I guess they're making up for lost time!

While her parents are busy mauling each other, Aurie takes time out of her morning to check herself out.

She did need a bit of cheering up, though, so I had her call White Jacket Tricou for a date.

And this is how you know it's a Vetinari date: red hearts during a noogie.

“Going to college?”

“Parties and friends and parties, oh my!”

“You said 'parties' twice.”

“I plan on having lots of parties.”

“Way to go!”

Whitney and Aurie were there to see Lindsay off.

Aurie dealt with being the only child left in the house by getting a quick Flirt in with Didi and Nolan's son Matty.

“My wife is hot when her great-whatever-grandfather is haunting the bed through her!”

It was just about time for Aurie to go to college as well, and she needed a bit of an Aspiration boost. Wishing Well time!

Once again, things went late, and Aurie and Turtleneck Tricou stopped to watch Calista pop out of a tombstone. Not her tombstone, per se, just a tombstone.

However, the presence of her ancestors does not prevent Aurie from getting a trifecta of Tricous.

See? At least these big red hearts are not accompanied by a noogie. She must really like Turtleneck Tricou!

“I'm leaving for college! Parties, WooHoo, and Cow Mascots to traumatize!”

“As long as your priorities are in order.”

With that, the last of the Prettacy kids is off to college!

While Stevie nears his gold toymaking badge, Tess and Brad enjoy their golden years.

Creepy Gardener is really angling for some punishment. I can't resurrect her, but that doesn't mean I can't shove her dead ass back in the cowplant pen.

“Oh, wow! More half-eaten cake! My favorite!”

“I'm off to college! Where there will be more businesses and friends and parties and finding someone to marry!”

“Have fun! Come back soon!”

“I will! With a fiancee! I promise!”

With a few cheerful waves, Stevie heads off to the Academie. He's the last of the Gen 8 main household kids to go, so this officially starts the Gen 8 college years!

This also means that the rest of the crowd is off to Uni as well...

...Kaylee and Inara...

Their mother Stacielee writes Whedonberry.

...Wydah and Edmund Fitzgerald...

Their mother PurpleBunny writes the Piratical Legacy.

...Joyce SimSelf-Goodytwoshoes...

...Brett Vetinari...

...and Ellie and Six Landgraab.

But it's not all about teenagers and college, now, is it?

“Gil? Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, Cass. I'm an open book; you can ask me anything.”

“Okay. So, um, why did you ask me out again? I mean, you're a popular, successful business owner with in-demand skills, you own your own home, and you've got your life together. I don't have any of that stuff. You could find someone better than me if you wanted to.”

“I asked you out again because I like you, Cassidy. You might not think so, but you've got a really amazing hopefulness. If you didn't believe that you could have a good relationship, you wouldn't have gone out with me in the first place. That's all I need to know about you. You think there's hope for something great. So do I.”

“Maybe that's true, but I don't know when I'll be ready for another serious thing. I've been burned too many times to want to get close to the fire again right now.”

“I'm in no hurry. Take all the time you need.”

“But why?”

“Enough people have pushed you. It's not in my nature to do that. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do. If that means you want to eat dinner and shoot pool, then that's fine with me.”

“Are you sure you're not too good to be true?”

“Heh. I don't think anyone's ever accused me of being 'too good' before. But if you asked my friends, they'd tell you that I'm honest, and I've never done anything to deliberately hurt anyone before.”

“You can't blame me for being gun-shy.”

“I think you have every reason in the world to be hesitant about getting into another relationship. In your shoes, I'd feel the same way.”

“Really? You don't think I'm being stupid?”

“I'd never call you stupid. If you did want to rush into things, I'd wonder if you'd really considered what you were doing.”

“I don't know how long it'll take for me to be okay again.”

“It takes as long as it takes. I'll help if you want me to, but I won't make you do anything.”

“I think I'd like your help. And honestly, you're already doing me some good.”

“That's a nice start. We'll just have to see what else I can do.”

Next time: sartorial tragedies, big red hearts, demented purple hearts, togas, Dead Coach Stinkypants, and hot tub nudity. In other words, COLLEGE!