support group training handout

8/3/2019 Support Group Training Handout

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Effective Support Systemsin Your Church Orphan Care Ministry

presented by Cindy Coffman, Bruce and Denise Kendrick


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TABLE OF CONTENTS

PRESENTATION 2

PLANNING OUTLINE 5

ADOPTION AND RELATED RESOURCES 6

BENEFITS OF A SUPPORT GROUP 11

GROUP HABITS AND NORMS 13

PARENT GROUPS POSITIVELY AFFECT MEMBERS (ARTICLE) 14

PARTICIPANT QUESTIONNAIRE 15

POSITIVE ADOPTION LANGUAGE 16

QUESTIONS FOR POTENTIAL BOARD MEMBERS 17

RESEARCH ON VALUE OF SUPPORT GROUPS 18

RESOURCES 21

STEPS TO DELEGATE EFFECTIVELY 23

VALUE OF ADOPTION GROUPS (ARTICLE) 24

GUIDE TO STARTING A SUPPORT GROUP 28

GUIDE TO ORGANIZING A RESPITE NIGHT 31

DISCUSSION HANDOUTS 33

TRAINING CERTIFICATE (EXAMPLE)

SUPPORT GROUP TOPIC SURVEY 48

ALL MATERIALS HAVE BEEN PROVIDED FOR YOUR USE

WITH PERMISSION TO COPY AS NEEDED.


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Efective Support Systems in Your Church Orphan Care Ministry

9:00 - 9:45 The Support Group ExperienceJoin us or this mock support group, and experience one example o a support group model. Aterwards, reecton the ollowing thoughts:

Did you eel welcomed? Comortable?

Was the presentation un and interactive?

Did you enjoy the introductions and door prize?

10:30 - 10:40 Leading for SuccessAre you a charismatic, outgoing leader? Or are you a servant leader, always at work behind the scenes? Consider

your personal leadership style, and that o your ministry partners.

9:45 - 10:15 WelcomeIn this section we will introduce the Embrace staf, share a little about how Embrace got started and have

our parent support group leaders share about their groups. Consider the ollowing questions:

(I you already acilitate a group) What stage o the liecycle/maturity is your group in?

Are there any Embrace support group models that might t the needs o amilies at our church?

How do you eel about dads and moms meeting in separate groups?

10:15 - 10:30 BREAK

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10:40 - 11:45 Planning for PurposeIn this session we will begin discussing the nuts and bolts o starting and maintaining a support group, and

creating a clear mission or purpose or the group you orm. Consider the ollowing questions:

What is our main goal in creating a support group?

What assets have we overlooked or not considered yet?

1:00 - 1:45 Planning for SuccessIn the next 45 minutes we will dive into some o the details that can help you track the progress o your

group, ormat your time in a thoughtul way, and bring quality speakers and inormation to your parents.

While youre thinking about planning or success, consider:

Does our current (or planned) ormat align with our stated purpose?

How vital is childcare to our plan?

How can we insure the quality o inormation presented to the group?

11:45 - 1:00 LUNCH

1:45 - 2:15 Launch & ConnectYour launch may seem important, and it is important to make a good frst impression, but many groups that

have a rocky start can make small changes and become successul. Connecting to amilies and parents is a

struggle or most church-based support groups, but using the tools we will discuss in this session will help

you make your group available to more parents.

2:15 - 2:45 Break & Time in Bookstore

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2:45 - 3:15 Maintain for HealthMuch like preventative medicine when it comes to human bodies, your group must be checked out and

maintained to stay healthy. Avoid putting on the autopilot and coasting along. Consider:

How can we allow everyone the opportunity to interact within the group?

How will we fnance this group 2 year, 5 years, 10 years down the road?

What is our backup plan?

3:15 - 3:45 Rejuvenation & RetentionGroups may eventually plateau in growth, but they should continue to mature. In this session we will look at

ways to help revive a dying group, retain members long-term, and empower membership to lead.

3:45 - 4:15 Beyond the Monthly MeetingThe time spent by members during monthly meetings can be very valuable, but as a group matures, relationships

begin to grow, and there may be a desire to connect and serve outside the meeting setting. Consider:

How would our parents be willing to get involved?

What services are they in need o beyond support?

4:15 - 5:00Action Plan

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2011 Tapestry Ministry WorkshopPlanning Outline

I. What are yourMotivations for leading and serving in this aspect of your churchministry?

II. What is the Mission/Purpose Statement for this aspect of your church ministry?

III. What are yourLong-Term Goals?

IV. What are yourShort-Term Goals?

V. What are the Specific Actions that you will need to take to accomplish yourgoals?

a. What are the Milestones for those specific actions (i.e., by when do youintend to take/accomplish those actions)?

b. What Resources will you need?

c. Who are the Helpful People that you will need to involve?

d. What are some of the Possible Problems you are likely to encounter?

e. What are some Possible Solutions to those problems?

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more than food and shelterw hat e ve ry at he r ne e ds t o k no w ab o ut c hi l dho o d de ve l o p m e nt

and ho w w e c an b e t t e r c are o r o ur k i ds

What are we told are the basic needs o human beings?

Because our children have experienced neglect, abuse or abandonmenton some level...are there basic needs diferent and/or more complex?

What are some diferences you dont see physically but you have witnessedrelationally or developmentally with your kids?

Why is it dicult or us (particularly athers) to accept that more than provision isneeded to care or these children?

How does a brain grow? a relationship? a child?

What kinds o experiences are appropriate to strengthen your specic childsmental health?

How do you personally overcome that shit in thinking to provide that kind o parenting?

copyright Embrace 201

l i m b i c syst e mresp o nsib le o r p ro cess ingem o t io ns

b rai n s t e mb asic su rv iva l u nct io ns( b reat hing, heart b eat ) ,

rst p art t o d evelo p

c e re b e l l umco nt ro ls reex ive and

invo lu nt ary m o vem ent s

c e re b ral c o rt eco nt ro ls co nsc io u s ,vo lu nt ary act io ns , u

d evelo p s age 2 5 -3 0

ro nt al l o b eco nt ro ls t h inking,

p lanning and reaso ningp ro cesses

o c i p i t a l l o b eb rain s v is io n cent er

p ar i e t a l l o b eresp o nsib le o r p ercep t io no t o u ch, sm el l and t ast e

t e m p o ral l o b ep ro cesses hear ing andso m e langu age

3 Ye ar O l d C hi l dre nYear Old Chi ldren

no rm al e x t re m e ne g l e c t

Ab raham Masl o w s

H i e arc hy o Ne e ds

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transition to adoption

deciding to adopt only you can decide what is right for your family and if your family is a good fit for that child. youneed to understand that adoption is not long term foster care and some things are going to cha

and some things are going to remain the same. if you havent already, you will receive all the binders CPS has on your child to review

termination, relinquishment and opennessyou should already be involved or at least aware of the progress in your foster childs court hearings...and if possible building a relatio

with their birthparent(s) or relatives. you will be asked what degree of openness youre willing to maintain in the event that the birth

parents rights were not terminated...cards and letters, gifts for special occasions or possibly ongoing visitation.

hiring an adoption attorney there are few attorneys in Dallas/Ft. Worth who specialize in adoption related legal services and its important to hir

someone who is familiar with the process. Disclaimer: The following attorneys are suggestions and not meant to be

your only legal options.

the Law Office of J. David Joyce, P.C. the Law Office of David C. Cole, P.C.972-851-0700 [email protected] [email protected]

the 90 day waiting period

upon termination or relinquishment, the state is mandated to allow 90 days for any relatives or fictive kin to make themselves availab

to adopt the child in your care...and you need to prepare your spouse for the possibilities that exist while remaining patient.

what if a relative is chosen?...what if we change our mind?...what if we have legal standing to intervene?...does it always take 90 days?

applying/negotiating adoption subsidyyour foster care caseworker will move your case to the adoption department of CPS and you will receive a new adoption caseworker

that will lead your family through the rest of the process until the Presentation. If your child qualifies as special needs, you will be giv

a few pages to fill out in order to negotiate adoption subsidy.

here are a few facts about adoption subsidy:it can meet but not exceed your foster care reimbursement

it is traditionally between $200-400 per month

it lasts until your child turns 18, graduates high school or turns

the Presentationyou should have negotiated your subsidy agreement prior to your presentation date

however this is the final step you take with CPS where you finalize name changes

and sign lots and lots of paperwork...kinda like when you buy a house.

finalizing in court unless you are adopting on National AdoptionDay in November...expect this to be

somewhat anti-climactic. Take lots of pictures but dont try and throw a party that

night. Just enjoy that youre almost done with all the craziness and paperwork.

exploring the fnal 90 days o relational and practical details in a oster care adoption

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Being a Multicultural Family

84%

of children adopted in America

adoptive families

40%

of children adopted fromforeign countries by Americanfamilies are trans-racial

"Colorblindness actually creates discordance."-Gina Samuels, an associate professor in the School of Social Service Administration at Universityof Chicago, has focused her research on identity development among trans-racial adoptees.

ransracial Adoption means placing a child who is of one race or ethnic group with adoptive parennother race or ethnic group. In the United States these terms usually refer to the placement of childreolor or children from another country with Caucasian adoptive parents.

Suggested Reading:Brothers & Sisters in Adoptionby Arleta James

W.I.S.E. Up! Powerbookby Marilyn Schoettle

Multiethnic Placement Act & Interethnic Adoption Provision (MEPA-IEP)The purpose of MEPA-IEP is to remove the barriers to permanency facing the many children involved in the chi

be adopted; facilitate the recruitment and retention of foster and adoptive parents who can meet the particulaneeds of children waiting to be placed; eliminate discrimination on the basis of the race, color, or national orig

of the child or the prospective parent.

Is black culture what I see on MTV? Should popular media shapwho I am? Or how I feel in my skin? I think black culture is learnby being bounced on the knee of my black grandmother after Sund

lunch. And if the lessons learned there are good for BLACK childrthey are good for ALL children.- Aaron Chowning, Adult Transracial Adop

Waiting Children in America, by Race

White32%

Unknown orMixed Race 8%

Islander 1%

AmericanIndian 1%

Hispanic15%

Bla42

aspects of culture

artFOOD

lm

musicholidays

language

religion

GAMESclothing

literatu

icon

copyright 2011 Embrace Waiting Children

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is a proactive defense to do what is best for our children and families across the board.

a biological perspectivehow to ta lk to your b io logical k ids about being a foster/ adoptive fami ly

What are some ways we already advocate for our children and families?

Educating Family and Friends

Working with School Districts and Early Childhood Intervention

Why do we stumble when advocating for our children or families?

Sometimes advocacy can be uncomfortable. Strangers, family, friends, teachers, counselors, caseworkers

udges, etc. can all impose their ideas, questions or understandings of what they think is right, wrong or

otherwise. As Dads, we have to play an active role in advocating for our families by allowing our feelings

o be set aside and place our children and family rst.

Who is the spokesperson of your family?How does the other spouse encourage, conrmor support?

Where are the hardest places to advocate?

Church Work

Neighborhood CPS/Court

School Government

How do you advocate?

Know Your StoryYour story needs to be something you and your spouseagree upon in regards to what you share and what youchoose to protect about your kids. It needs to be concisewithout sharing all the details, and for certain audiencesit needs to be memorable.

Know Your AudienceWho you advocate to will change your approach. Youmay need to more persistent in some cases than others.You may need to write your story rather than talk aboutit. Sometimes emotion is a plus and other times it is not.



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coee shop moms

Date/Time: ______________________________

Location: La Madeline, McKinney TX

Awarded To: _____________________________

Awarded By: _____________________________

Denise Kendrick, Director of Development

[email protected]

coee shop moms

Date/Time: ______________________________


Awarded To: _____________________________

Awarded By: _____________________________

Denise Kendrick, Director of Development

[email protected]

coee shop moms

Certificate of Training2 hours credit

Date/Time: ______________________________


Awarded To: _____________________________

Awarded By: _____________________________

Denise Kendrick, Director of [email protected]



Coffee Shop Moms is a support group for foster and adoptive mothers. Topics of discussionvary monthly and relate to parenting, child development, foster parenting and adoption.

Meetings are lead by licensed foster or adoptive parents, specialists in specific fields relatingto child development, and Embrace staff.

Coffee Shop Moms is a support group for foster and adoptive mothers. Topics of discussionvary monthly and relate to parenting, child development, foster parenting and adoption.Meetings are lead by licensed foster or adoptive parents, specialists in specific fields relatingto child development, and Embrace staff.

Coffee Shop Moms is a support group for foster and adoptive mothers. Topics of discussionvary monthly and relate to parenting, child development, foster parenting and adoption.Meetings are lead by licensed foster or adoptive parents, specialists in specific fields relatingto child development, and Embrace staff.

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Please put a check by 3-5 topics below you would like to learn more about. We will collect your inputand try to bring the most highly requested topics to your support group. If you have a topic or speakeryou wish to suggest [not listed below] please feel free to write it in on the bottom line.

___ The Honeymoon is Over: Adoptive life 1,2 or 3 years later ___ Open Adoption Success___ Advocacy at the State Level ___ How to Tutor Your Child at Home___ Always Prepared: How to be ready for your foster placements ___ Helping Adoptive Siblings Bond___ Kinship by Design: The history of child placing in America ___ Respite & Relief Care Options___ STOP YELLING! (working towards a quieter home) ___ Getting Your Spouse On Board___ Photography for Mommies (Forget JCPenny, you can shoot great pics!) ___ Intro to International Adoption___ Celebrating Your Childs Culture/Heritage ___ Success for Blended Families___ How Your Church Can Care For Orphans ___ Fetal Alcohol Syndrome___ Where did I come from? Answers for Adopted Children ___ Adoption: Biblical Perspectives___ Aged Out of Foster Care: A young adult shares her story ___ Public, Private, Home... School Op

other:

*NEW! Starting in May we will invite one mom to share a little about their foster or adoptive journeybefore we begin the informational portion of our group. If you would like to share, please send anemail to Denise at [email protected] or call (214)354-6776.

Please put a check by 3-5 topics below you would like to learn more about. We will collect your inputand try to bring the most highly requested topics to your support group. If you have a topic or speakeryou wish to suggest [not listed below] please feel free to write it in on the bottom line.

___ The Honeymoon is Over: Adoptive life 1,2 or 3 years later ___ Open Adoption Success___ Advocacy at the State Level ___ How to Tutor Your Child at Home___ Always Prepared: How to be ready for your foster placements ___ Helping Adoptive Siblings Bond___ Kinship by Design: The history of child placing in America ___ Respite & Relief Care Options

___ STOP YELLING! (working towards a quieter home) ___ Getting Your Spouse On Board___ Photography for Mommies (Forget JCPenny, you can shoot great pics!) ___ Intro to International Adoption___ Celebrating Your Childs Culture/Heritage ___ Success for Blended Families___ How Your Church Can Care For Orphans ___ Fetal Alcohol Syndrome___ Where did I come from? Answers for Adopted Children ___ Adoption: Biblical Perspectives

Aged Out of Foster Care: A young adult shares her story Public Private Home School Op

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