nuk guilt free guide to childcare
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Welcome to NUK’s guilt free guide to parenting!
Here at NUK we know that guilt free is easier said than done. We understand
the pressures faced by parents today and have even carried out a survey to help
us understand it even better. This guide is designed to make mums and dads
everywhere feel happier about the decisions they make when it comes to their
families. Whether you like to work, have to work, decide to be a full time parent
or do a little bit of everything; this guide is here to make you feel at peace with
your decisions. So grab a cup of tea and a biscuit (go on, one won’t hurt) and read on...
A bit of background to the NUK Guilt Free survey…
As a parent you will know that your world revolves around your children but
sometimes that world can seem pressured as you continually try to do the ‘right’
thing for your family. Our survey explored the common guilt that parents feel
and we found that a huge percentage of you feel regularly guilty in all elements of
parenting from careers and childcare to ‘me time’ and buying toys.
Families are at the heart of our culture in the UK and in 2012 the Office for
National Statistics recorded 18.2 million families in the UK.
However, the face of the family has changed and many would say there is no such
thing as a ‘traditional’ family in today’s modern society. Netmums.com published
a study in 2012 which revealed 35 different family types – a far cry from the
traditional 2.4 set up. Just 60% of families have married parents and biological
children, 20.5% of families are headed by unmarried parents, 10% by single parents
and 6.1 % families are made up of a mix of biological and step children. 1 in 111
families are headed by gay, bisexual or transgender parents.
Whatever the make-up of your family, it is hard to negotiate a work/life balance – ‘what is that?!’ we hear you cry – as childcare costs continue to rise. A 2013 Daycare Trust and Family and Parenting Institute survey into childcare revealed that the average cost of childcare has risen by more than 6% between 2011 and 2012.
The study reports that a place at Britain’s costliest nurseries cost 25% more than a place at a top public school. Even with employee childcare vouchers in place as a salary sacrifice scheme, pressures can force many parents back to work before they may want to return – particularly in the case of families on lower incomes who have already been hit by a 10% drop in support for childcare through the tax credit system.
Even with careful budgeting for
everyday costs such as childcare, the
odds are stacked against parents as
children grow up and develop a real
talent for what the media lovingly
describes as ‘pester power.’ The weekly
shop can turn into a chore for any of
us with our children falling victim to
enticing advertising for the latest toys,
sweets and gadgets.
The weekly shop suddenly becomes
even more costly – in fact retailer
Littlewoods.com suggested that leaving
the children at home can save up to
£400 each year. But by saying no to
these additional treats are you wracked
with even more guilt?
Like love, guilt is all around us and much
of it is generated by other people such as
other parents or family members. Some
of you even cited health professionals
such as health visitors and doctors as
culprits.
Our philosophy at NUK is “Understanding Life” which is why we decided to explore the theme of guilt in childcare; why we all feel it and what we can do to alleviate it.
74% of mums feel like they need
more support with childcare.
69% of mums worry
whether they have the right
work/life balance, with
55% of mums feeling guilty
about having a career.
61% of mums
said that other
people make
them feel guilty
about what
they do or don’t
do with their
children.
66% of mums feel guilty about wanting
more “me-time”
34% of mums
feel guilty
that they
can’t afford
everything
their children
want.
34%
74% 66%
We talked to 2000 mums across the UK and found that being too busy or too tired
to give their children their full attention, not being able to afford everything their
children want and returning to work are the top 3 guilt triggers – sounds familiar?
Other issues which leave mums feeling bad include not going on more family
days out, relying on the television to occupy children while they get the chores
done and not having more patience.
Not earning enough money, working long hours and wanting occasional “time
out” also leaves parents feeling at fault.
If you found yourself murmuring agreement to these issues and nodding your
head in solidarity then here are some top tips from mums who feel just like you.
We all have a lot on our plates trying be the best mum the world has ever seen but
sometimes it’s important to stand back and focus on you and the little things you
can do to make life run that little bit smoother.
some guilt statistics...
wishing time would stand still?Doesn’t it seem like yesterday that you were bringing your newborn home from hospital for the very first time? How quickly time flies with little ones and how quickly we get sucked back into real life as those precious early years seem to pass us by.
Nearly 40% of the mums we surveyed said they felt guilty about not giving their children enough attention and 69% of mums worry whether they have their work/life balance right. We know that sharing your life with your family is fulfilling and fun but if you have returned to work, or are planning to return to work it can feel a bit of a squeeze. Find out what your options are as an employee because from flexi-time, working from home for some of your week or part time working options, your company is obliged to listen to your requests.
56% of mums we surveyed said that they have reduced or are considering reducing their working hours to spend more time with their children so if this is an option it may help you feel more in control of your work/life balance.
B L O G G E R A D V I C E :
“ Life can be real ly manic with little people
around, but seizing a few minutes in the
morning to get dressed, do your hair and
even put a little bit of make up can make
you feel SO much better within yourself.”
Danielle Parker – Blog By Babyhttp://www.blogbybaby.com
The older children get the more they cost! Insurer LV issued a study in early 2013
which reported that the cost of raising a child to the age of 21 had rocketed to
£222,458. The annual cost of a child as reported by LV is up by more than £4,000
since 2012 and unsurprisingly education and childcare are the largest costs for
parents to swallow in 2013.
Money was the cause of much guilt in our survey with just over a third of parents
feeling guilty that they can’t afford everything their children want. Just over 20% also
said they felt guilty that they couldn’t afford to go away on family holidays or spend
more on new clothes/toys for their children.
There’s no doubt that having children puts
a strain on your finances even without
the pester power but fear not as help is at
hand! There is plenty of advice available
online that will help you to both budget
effectively and reduce your outgoings,
particularly if you are surviving on
one income and claiming maternity or
child benefits. The Working Families
website – (www.workingfamilies.org.uk)
has heaps of support and advice along
with calculators to help you balance
earnings alongside childcare costs.
Over half (56%) of mums surveyed said
they have reduced or are considering
reducing their working hours to spend
more time with their children, therefore
bringing home a lower salary.
However when it comes to days out with
children there are many things that you
can do without breaking the bank. Trips
to parks, woodland areas, and cycle paths
can be a great fun way to get children out
in the fresh air without costing a penny.
feeling the pinch!
B L O G G E R A D V I C E :
“Don’t feel guilty about not having the money to buy everything your child asks for. It’s the love and time spent with you that wil l build the memories they wil l cherish; not what you bought them. Days out don’t need to cost much or anything at al l, but it’s those fun times that are important.”
White Lily Green - Pondering thoughts of a busy mummy and a browbeaten daddy.http://whitelilygreen.blogspot.co.uk
Right mums it ’s time to start feeling a little bit selfish.
A worrying 66% of mums feel guilty about wanting more
“me-time” and we want to reassure you that this is both
healthy and important.
How many of us have used the expression ‘ah I remember
when we used to get the chance to do things like that’
in response to a friend’s social antics. Well here’s a
news flash... you can!
If you have a good network of family and friends
nearby don’t feel guilty about using them. Arrange
childcare for a few hours a week so that you can have
time out for you...
some time together as a couple. Get into a regular routine of ‘date nights’ so that you can focus on your relationship too and don’t feel guilty about leaving the children with babysitters; it’s good for them to mix with grown ups other than mum and dad all the time. You might even have a close friend who also has children with whom you can arrange a regular ‘child swap’ to give you both some much needed free time. There. Everyone is happy.
If financially viable try and build a bit of ‘you time’ into your week where you have a few hours to yourself to put your feet up with a magazine…but this doesn’t mean a few hours cleaning the house whilst the children are out of your hair!
Sometimes it might feel as if we are breeding the next generation of Steve Jobs
and Bill Gates with the obsession we share for smartphones, tablets, laptops and
MP3 players. Used in the right way these technologies can be a great parenting tool
but 31% of mums in our survey worry about using the TV to keep their children
entertained while doing the chores. We’re all guilty of it and it’s generally a means
to an end – just 10 minutes whilst I put the washing on or 5 minutes whilst I get
dinner ready.
Social networks are rife in children’s lives. ‘Screen Time’ is a buzz phrase which
has become popular within the media and has been the subject of studies into
child behaviour. Professor Rose Luckin from the University of London offers some
helpful advice for managing screens with our children in her ‘Decoding Learning:
The Proof, Promise and Potential of Digital Learning’ study. Her report states ‘what
is clear is that no technology has an impact on learning in its own right; rather, its
impact depends upon the way in which it is used.” She advocates ‘learning with
others’ and using technology as a tool for learning.
Technology is inevitable in our lives. As adults we rely heavily on it so as with
everything – moderation is the key. Try to set some rules in your family for screen
time and enjoy it as a family, there are going to be times when you feel the ‘iNanny’
is required but by making sure your children know the boundaries it can be used to
stimulate learning and exploration.
to conclude...The truth is that we are all better parents when we have a bit of balance in our lives.
Oscar Wilde is frequently quoted: ‘Everything in moderation, including moderation’
and we think never has a truer word been spoken. Children and families should
enhance and enrich our lives not rule us and make us feel guilty. It is important
to factor in time for yourself, time with your partner and time as a family into
every week and this isn’t something to feel guilty about it’s simply mastering the
balancing act!
And as for financial restraints, Children’s key requirements are the same now as
they always have been – they just want to be loved, supported and cared for and this
love doesn’t cost a penny. We believe that parents should trust their instincts on
what is right for their own, very individual, children and spend less time worrying
and more time enjoying!
B L O G G E R A D V I C E :
“ I don’t see any reason for feeling guilty if you want to return to work.
The old mantra ‘everything in moderation’ could not be more true when
it comes to juggling work and raising a family and if you feel that
working helps to give a little bit more of you back then you wil l be
happier for it. It can help you gain perspective on life and make
time with your children seem even more precious. Days with your
children become quality time and al low you to make lovely plans for
spending time together.”
Jessica Kiddle – Two mummy bloggers on mastering the art of baby whisperinghttp:// www.themummyyears.com
For more than 60 years, NUK have been listening to
the trusted experts; midwives, doctors, nutritionists
and especially mothers and fathers, in order to learn
about the needs of parents and baby in those precious
years. NUK teats and soothers are designed based
on nature’s perfect model, mother’s breast during
feeding, making the transition between breast and
bottle feeding easier.
NUK have an extensive range of bottles, teats and
soothers, as well as an innovative range of weaning
products, cleaning products and accessories, all
designed to help make life easier for parents.
Not only is NUK available in over 110 countries
worldwide, NUK is the choice of hospitals too,
with over 3 million teats distributed through
UK hospitals in 2012 alone! GP’s also support
NUK, through ‘Mother & Child’, a pregnancy
guide distributed to all ‘mums-to-be’ in the UK at
their first doctors appointment. We also have the
backing of the dentists too, NUK is the only brand
to have both teats and soothers approved by the
British Dental Health Foundation. It’s safe to say
that new parents are looking for NUK...
about...
One of the trusted experts that NUK has teamed up with is
Annabel Karmel, an international best-selling author on baby
and children’s food and nutrition. Annabel Karmel is the
number one parenting author in the UK and has sold over four
million books to date. Together NUK and Annabel Karmel have
created a range of products designed to make life easier for
parents, whether it’s storing frozen baby food, mashing food to
create texture or making fresh fruit lollies to help soothe sore gums.
For more information on the Annabel Karmel by NUK range please visit www.nuk.co.uk.
Credits
ONS – Families and Households (2012)
Netmums.com - ‘How the Modern Family
Looks Today’ (study 2012)
The Daycare Trust and the Family and Parenting
Institute’s Childcare Costs Survey 2013
University of London Professor Rose Luckin -
‘Decoding Learning: The promise
and potential of digital learning’ study
www.ioe.ac.uk/staff/lklb_30
Mapa Spontex UK Ltd., Berkeley Business Park, Wainwright Road, Worcester, WR4 9ZS
Tel: 0845 300 2467 | Email: [email protected]
NUK is a registered trademark of Mapa GmbH/Germany