fwm 2011 05 and 06

� May & June �011 familyworks.org

May & June 2011

APPLE FamilyWorks® 4 Joseph Court, San Rafael, CA 94903 email: [email protected]

Sponsorship Information: Doug Silberstein Phone: (415) 492-1022 FAX: (415) 492-1099 email: [email protected]

Editorial Information: Lew Tremaine Phone: (415) 492-0720 x231 FAX: (415) 492-1099 email: [email protected]

Circulation: This major family magazine is published bi-monthly and widely distributed FREE throughout Marin and Sonoma Coun-ties: through home deliveries, distribution to over 150 community locations - stores, public and private schools, medical offices, hospitals, and family-related businesses – and direct mail to thousands of active participants and sponsors of FamilyWorks®. © 2011 APPLE FamilyWorks®, All rights reserved. APPLE FamilyWorks is a nonprofit agency serving families in the Bay Area. No portion of FamilyWorks Magazine may be reproduced without written permission of the publisher. Appearance of articles, editorials, author’s point of view, advertisements or announcements for products and services in FamilyWorks Magazine does not necessarily constitute an endorsement by FamilyWorks® and FamilyWorks® is not responsible for its content or the reactions of readers to its content. FamilyWorks Magazine reserves the right to refuse advertising for any reason. Unsolicited manuscripts and photographs are welcome and should e-mailed to: [email protected]

Executive Director: Mary Jane DeWolf-SmithEditor: Lew TremaineMarketing: Doug SilbersteinArt Director/Website: Christine M. AstinWeb Publisher: Art SeverePrinted by: S.F. Offset

FamilyWorks® Board of Directors:Anjana Berde, PresidentPaul Ricken, Vice PresidentMark Clark, SecretaryMaria Villani, TreasurerBlake PenningtonVicky SmirnoffRita Trumbo

3 Often Overlooked Safety Traps Put Children at Risk ByMelissaKay

4 Rekindling the Romance ByMaryJaneDeWolf-SmithMA,RN,MFT

6 Family Secrets ByTitiaEllis,PHD

8 Education Options for Pre-School Children ByJudyArnall

10 Ross Valley Rotarians Support APPLE FamilyWorks

APPLE FamilyWorks 11 Parenting Programs

12Counseling Programs

13 Family Interactive Therapy 14 Support for Individuals

This seal of approval is a service mark of Independent Charities of America and is used under license.

Content is the responsibility of FamilyWorks.

awarded to

FamilyWorks Magazine is published by APPLE FamilyWorks®

15 Why Your Kids Want Everything ByRudyDeFelice

16 Childhood Obesity: 5 Things You can Do byJenniferKelman

18 Camp Spotlight: Marin Y Camp is Going Bananas

20 2011 Camp Guide

Read on-line at familyworks.org

22 Sniffing Out Unusual Dangers of Spring bythePetEmergencySpecialty CenterofMarin

May & June �011 �familyworks.org

“Parents of-ten underestimate

their kids’ abilities and over-estimate their intelligence,” says

Chrissy Cianflone, Director of Program Operations, at Safe Kids USA. “They think, my child’s too smart to do X and they often don’t realize how strong their kids are.”

There are so many things to think about as you safe-proof your home to protect small children that it’s easy to overlook important risks.

Most people are aware of common safety measures like covering your elec-trical outlets, keeping your child away from hot stoves, and watching them like a hawk as they bathe, but there are other dangers that don’t readily come to mind.

Cords from window treatments According to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, one child a

month, between the ages of 7 months and 10 years, dies from strangulation or is severely injured by near strangulation from the loose strings or cords on window blinds and shades. A window covering advertised as “cord-less” does not mean that it is truly cord-free. Kenney Manufacturing’s new Truly CordFreeTM Roman Shades use a twist wand to raise and lower the shade and inner mechanisms to eliminate all strings and cords. www.kenney.com

Under the Kitchen SinkMore than 100 children ages 14 and under die each year from unintentional poisoning, according to Safe Kids USA. In addition to household cleaning supplies, pesticides, cosmetics, art supplies, paint products, and alcohol are dangerous to children. To avoid accidental

Safety TrapsOften Overlooked

Put Children at Risk

poisoning, store these products up high in locked cabinets. It is a good idea to install a safety latch to keep the doors under the kitchen sink secured at all times.

Each year in the U.S.,more than 2,000 children under

the age of 14 die as a result of a home injury, according to Safe Kids USA,

a non-profit organization.

continued on page 10

by Melissa Kay


The New RelationshipIn the early years of your

relationship you focused on be-ing with one another as much as possible. You were fascinated by one another, giddy with being in love and being loved, admired, and doted on. There were fanta-sies of continuing this magical meeting of hearts, bodies, and minds. Then “life happened”.

Moving In/MarriageSoon wooing ends and ro-

mance begins to fade. The toilet seat is up at 2 AM and you almost fall in. He/she purchases something expensive without your knowledge. Slowly work or personal interests become more important, or pregnancy and parenthood become all consum-ing. Sleepless nights, job loss, aging parents, and health issues all put a strain on you and thus the relationship.

Rekindling the Romance

Getting Together Again...

“Where did the person I fell in love with go?”

“Our marriage will get better once we have a handle on the bills.”

“He/she doesn’t want to spend time with me.”

“We are so busy with the kids activities, we never have time for each other.”

I have heard all of these statements at one point in my life. So I totally understand where they come from. It is true that we are overscheduled and we have multiple pressures pulling us in every direction. Perhaps it is more than our schedule that keeps us from taking time to be with our partner. Could it be that we don’t really want to be with the other person because it is uncomfortable, we fear we will fight, or we are bored with their company?

Societal PressureSuccess in our society is rarely

measured by the health of your intimate relationships. Who re-ally knows what happens behind closed doors? We can look great together in public and be frozen or furious at home. However, success is often measured by how our kids are doing and our job. So, this is often where we put most of our energies.

Denial It is easy to deny that our rela-

tionship is in trouble. “It’s only because of _____.” “Things will be better after _____ is over.” In addition, we may not even know that the relationship is in trouble. When we have been raised in a home with high conflict, cold, distant, or contentious communi-cation, we don’t have a model to follow. Seeking help or solutions is often put off because we see the problem as the other person’s

What Happened?

by Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith, RN, PHN, MA, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist specializing in couples, parenting and co-parenting concerns. She is a renowned family educator. Learn more great parenting skills in her Positive & Peaceful Parenting class. Call (415) 492-0720 to sign up or make an appointment for counseling services.


fault. If we can just straighten him/her out, then every-thing will be okay. We soothe ourselves by saying that there’s really nothing we can do. Marriage is a land mine. “Men are Neanderthals!” “Women are crazy!”

Giving upYou begin to notice that you prefer time without your

partner. You feel guilty, sad, and hopeless. You’ve read several books, gone to workshops, tried to share solutions with your partner, to no avail. He/she doesn’t want to be told what to do. You’ve watched the Dr. Phil show and seen a few movies with crazy therapists. You think, “I’m not going to waste my time in counseling and let my partner have an hour to put me down,” or, “I’m not going to get insulted and pushed around by some therapist who doesn’t really know me”.

Hopeful ToolsUnlike what you see on TV and in the movies, couples

counseling is collaborative, cooperative, and compas-sionate. Ethical therapy is not a reality show (Dr. Phil had to give up his license in order to do his TV show). In couples counseling, you find out together where the relationship got off track. You rediscover your strengths and rebuild your relationship with time-tested tools. Here are a few approaches my clients found helpful and that restored their hope in one another:

Realigned Priorities Assure your own health: eat well, sleep well, move

well, play, laugh, and learn.Make time for your significant other. Learn key

phrases to pass over activities that drain energy from your life. “Thank you so much, but I’ll have to decline.” “I am committed to (sports, art, dancing, reading, etc.) on that day.” “We limit the number of extra curricular activities for the kids so we have time together as a family.” “The children are in bed by ______, so we have at least one hour to be together.”

Sweet Sayings and SurprisesCaring hellos and goodbyes are wonderful ways to

build good feelings. It is so easy to show your apprecia-tion for another by taking just a few extra moments to greet them enthusiastically and to say goodbye gently. A hug, a touch, or a kiss mends tired minds and spirits. We show the other matters, counts, is important, that we are delighted to be in their presence, and that we will miss them when they go.

Add words that open the other’s heart. Promise yourself to say at least ten sweet sayings each day to your loved one. “Thank you.” “I’m proud of you.”

“That was thought-ful.” “What a good idea.” “How can I help?” “Tell me about it.” “I’d like to understand how you are feeling.” Simple gestures that show you took extra time to show you care: (e.g., a sweet note on the bed or bathroom mirror, call or email mid-day, surprise outing, small gift, or a backrub). Rather than only counting on the little gestures that make you feel good, set aside time to find out what makes the other feel loved.

Save Money for FunNot all time together is costly (e.g., walking, biking,

reading to one another, going to a coffee/tea house and chatting, dancing, listening to music and planning ahead for your next adventure.)

“On Friday evenings, let’s schedule a regular babysitter from the co-op/mothers’ club for our date night. “

“Let’s alternate weeks on who chooses the activity and makes the plans.”

“Once every six months, let’s book an overnight/week-end away. We’ll trade babysitting with our friends.”

“Let’s set up a plan so the kids are responsible for earn-ing toward special purchases?”

“Why don’t we simplify the kids birthday parties so we can save money for our date nights?”

PersistenceFollowing through takes effort, practice and, in the

beginning, courage. You both have been avoiding each other and are understandably worried that ill feelings will emerge. Setting ground rules is essential: a) start small, with short times together; b) agree to share positive ideas and activities, c) agree to problem solve at another time. (e.g. “I’d like to work with you on this/ talk about this, so let’s set a time to talk. When would be best?”)

Problem solving, mediating, negotiating, expressing needs and wants, clarifying feelings – each of these skills are learned. When we do not have models in our child-hood, we are without a compass or a map to enjoy time together.

I invite each of you to go online at familyworks.org to see what APPLE FamilyWorks offers in our Therapy and Life Skills Center to “Strengthen Relationships…For a Lifetime”.


Family Secrets

The TiesThat Bind ...Or Devastate

By Titia Ellis, PhD

Never underestimate the power of secrets in a family. One of the most common reasons people justify keep-ing secrets is the need to “protect” someone. Secrets also originate from fear that actions within the family will be discovered and judged. Some se-crets are generations old; others newly created. All have the ability to tear the fabric of the family system apart.

Healthy families don’t need to keep secrets. These people can discuss what-ever goes on inside the home while also respecting the need for privacy around such issues as marital intimacy or a teenager moving towards autonomy and sharing more with his peers than with parents. No one needs to be pro-tected; no one is fearful of anyone else. The rules are clear: people are encour-aged to say what’s on their mind and in their heart, and have learned how to lis-ten to one another. Parents set ground

rules which assure all concerned that honest conversations will be safe and without reprisals. ( MJ says: P.Q.) If a major roadblock does come along, family members are comfortable to go outside the system to seek help from a teacher, therapist, trusted friend, pas-tor, or support group.

Skeptics may ask, “Do these ‘healthy families’ really feel safe sharing their feelings with each other? That’s not what happens in our family.” Many come from a background in which secrets flourish and rules are unspoken but heavily enforced. They don’t feel comfortable speaking honestly about what is going on inside the family, so the old secrets continue to simmer in their psyches.

Secrets can also cause shame. If someone has or is forced to carry a secret, that person may feel he or she is bad. Others in the family who either

Never underestimate the power of secrets in a family. One of the most common reasons people justify keeping secrets is the need to “protect” someone. Secrets also originate from fear that actions within the family will be discovered and judged. Some secrets are generations old; others newly created. All have the ability to tear the fabric of the family system apart.


Healthy FamiliesDon’t Need to Keep Secrets...

don’t know or can’t talk about the secret are caught up in this unhealthy mix. The shame compounds if some-one tries to tell the secret to another person in the family and is met with denial, silence, or even retribution for breaking the family rules about keep-ing secrets.

In my family growing up, the big secret revolved around adoption and the corollaries to that of infertility and illegitimacy. This was back in the 1930s and 1940s, when most adop-tion professionals and the laws of the land decreed that adoptions should be closed. In the interest of protecting all parties, no information was ever to be exchanged between the members of the adoption triad: the birth mother, adop-tive parents, and the adopted child.

Why was it mandated that everyone needed protection? An unmarried woman who became pregnant was looked upon as a fallen woman who could be redeemed only if she gave up her baby to a happily married couple. She must always keep her disgrace a secret. The baby’s background must be kept a secret because others might view him or her as having inherited flawed genes. This resulted in the adopted person’s original birth record

being sealed away. An amended docu-ment was created, listing the people who adopted him as the legal parents. The adoptive parents most likely were dealing with the secret of infertility. People who couldn’t have children were considered “less than” by the rest of society. Thus each member of the adoption triangle was struggling with shame over secrets that our culture and society forced them to keep.

When I was five, my adoptive mother told my older sister and me that we had not come out of her tummy the way our little brother had. She added that our first parents had died in a terrible accident. When my sister wanted to know more, my mother be-gan to cry. At that moment my father announced that we were never to talk about adoption again. Later I learned from a cousin that those other parents hadn’t died after all. Instead my first mother had given me up. All I could think was that I must have been a bad baby. What shame I felt. It would have made a huge difference if I could have talked about my fears with my adoptive mother. Yet I remained silent, deter-mined to be very good so this mother wouldn’t leave me.

But life has a way of getting our attention. During a mid-life crisis, the urge to find my birth mother hit me with the force of a tidal wave. My adoptive parents were threatened; ter-rified they would lose me to my other parents. I felt guilty about causing them pain and feared my transgres-sions might cause me to lose their love. Yet my need to discover the truth overrode my fear of abandonment. I persisted in my search, a 15-year pro-cess that began with fear, betrayal and heartache and transformed into healing and joy. I was supported by unforeseen wisdom coming from within me and by synchronistic happenings on the outside. By the end of my quest, I had discovered my own self. When I didn’t receive what I was hoping for, I had to learn to let go of my expectations and become open to other outcomes. As a result, I found new relatives who welcomed me into my birth family. At the same time, my adoptive parents and I grew closer than we had ever been because we kept talking together and became more authentic.

The secrets that once held such power dissolved and the truth really did set us free.

Healthy families can discuss whatever goes on inside the home while also respecting the need for privacy around such issues as marital intimacy or a teenager moving towards autonomy and sharing more with his peers than with parents.


Emotionally, many can control their anger and uncomfortable emotions much better. Socially, they are curi-ous about other children. The element of other people to play with adds fun, creativity, and learning (and sometimes needed conflict resolution) with other children.

The cognitive development of pre-schoolers puts them squarely in the magical/fantasy element of brain development. Their whole world is constructed of “make-believe” which further enhances play with others. They also have enough brainpower and self-control to understand a few safety limits and to listen to adults a wee bit more than toddlers do.

Many parents wonder what type of education is best for this age. The answer really depends on the child. Factors that affect this are: gender, temperament, personality, and learning style more than age alone.

By Judy Arnall

EducationOptions for Preschool-Aged Children

By the time a child reaches the preschool age of three to five, they have changed in so many ways. Many children are ready to expand their world outside of home and interact more with peers, teachers, and other parents. Physically, preschoolers are capable of many tasks.

Gender DifferencesIn terms of gender,

preschool boys are still quite active and find it hard to sit, concentrate and participate in circle time. They tend to fidget more when com-pelled to listen to music, storybook reading, or teachers talking. Programs to look for should be active and fun with a high physical component. Preschools with lots of circle time and quiet play should not be the first choice. Girls, tend

to love role-playing with toys and make believe play and often can sit longer to listen to stories.Temperament and Personality

Temperament is another consider-ation. For high activity, fast approach children, a small group is less sensory stimulating than a large group. An un-structured type of play environment such as Waldorf, Montessori, or PACT


play program would be more suitable. Children decide where and when they would like to explore in these programs, instead of having definite center times. An easygoing child would adapt more to structured settings such as conventional preschools that have set times for snack, music, and creative play.

Slow approach children who prefer the company of a parent, home, and his own toys may not benefit from structured learning environments. Research shows that some types of preschool help disad-vantaged children catch up to what they need to know for grade one. However, for children with a stimulating home environment (homes that have books and toys), early schooling doesn’t make any difference in grade three test scores. If your child is high activity and fast ap-proach and his boisterousness is wearing you thin, the excitement of preschool may be what your child is craving.

Learning StylesLearning styles are also a key factor.

Your child’s learning style emerges by the preschool years. A good preschool should mix up their program delivery to accommodate learning styles. If your child is auditory, then circle time, oral instruction, and story listening are their preferred ways to take in information. If your child is visual, then videos, picture books, and painting/ art should be high on their list. If your child is kinesthetic, then again, a high physical game content is needed with lots of building materials, art supplies, board games etc., as well as a good chunk of playground time. It’s important for parents to keep in mind the developmental tasks of preschool-ers. Their job is to explore with all their

senses. Touch, hear, see, taste, smell and move! Worksheets have no place in preschool or

Kindergarten. Those are the times for learning how to play, get along, and have fun.

What to ConsiderNew options include all day pre-

school. If your child tolerates daycare well, then they should be happy to ease into all day preschool. There is not much difference in the level of activities of-fered to children, but to be funded as a preschool, there may be pressure to add more “academic” looking activities. Parents should be warned that grade one entrance has no expectations that children should know more than to write their name and use the bathroom independently.

Look for preschools with lots of un-structured toys that are open-ended play value. Sand tables, paint, Playdough, blocks, people, houses, cars, trains, building toys, dress-up, puppets, and art supplies are very good toys in addi-tion to a playground. So many families have computers, video consoles, and hand-held gaming systems at home that chi ldren have ample opportuni-ty to use them at home. Preschools away from home should have more physically inter-active toys. At this age, it’s bet-ter to paint on pa-per and build

Learning styles are also a key

factor. Your child’s learning style

emerges by the preschool years.

A good preschool should mix up their

program delivery to accommodate

learning styles.


10 May & June �011 familyworks.org

Dressers and other tall furnitureDressers are dangerous because they

are heavy, not always well balanced, and can be pulled over if a child tries to climb them. An unsteady toddler trying to climb doesn’t understand that a heavy object can topple. Invest in brackets found at home improvement stores or baby stores like Babies R Us to anchor dressers, TVs, and wall units. Keep heavier items on lower shelves or in lower drawers, and don’t keep remote controls or temptations like candy or toys on top of furniture. www.BabiesRUs.com

Window screens

Never rely on a window screen to keep children safe from an open win-dow. Screens are for keeping insects out, not for keeping kids in. Invest in heavier child-proof window screens, which cost under $30. Don’t place fur-niture by a window, potentially creating a climbing opportunity and the associ-ated risk. http://www.cpsc.gov/cpsc-pub/prerel/prhtml00/00126.html

Open medication containersBe vigilant about your child’s safety

away from home. A risky situation can exist when a child visits a grandparents’ home where pills may be left within their reach. Vitamins and over-the-counter medications can be extremely dangerous to children. Remind family members and caretakers to buy pill bot-tles with child safety caps and keep all medicines and pills out of your child’s reach, preferably locked up.

Safety Traps

Often Overlooked

continued from page 3

Ross Valley Rotarians Support APPLE FamilyWorks

Tom Keating, President of Rotary Club of the Ross Valley, presents a donation to APPLE FamilyWorks Executive Director Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith. The donation was made possible by proceeds from the Club’s annual Fairfax Car Show.

Rotary International is an associa-tion of Rotary Clubs worldwide. It’s made up of more than 33,000 Rotary Clubs in over 200 countries and geo-graphical areas.

In a fun and collegial atmosphere men and women meet over lunch each week, hearing presentations about key subjects. In keeping with their dedica-tion to “service above self” Rotary Club of Ross Valley volunteers meet year round to raise funds and learn about important causes.

They work side by side to give directly to their community through donations and in-person work projects such as painting and repairs at low-income housing.

Through Rotary International, Rotarians support effective and wise initiatives such as Polio Plus, in which polio is nearly eradicated world wide,

The Ross Valley Club has funded the digging of over 100 tube wells in India, bringing clean drinking water to many villages. They support Rota-

plast, providing cleft-palate surgeries in many countries. Through their sponsorship of the Rotaract Club at Drake High School, teens partici-pate in community service projects. Fundraising efforts support many lo-cally based programs, such as those at APPLE FamilyWorks.

Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith, APPLE FamilyWorks founding Executive Director states, “My father was a proud Rotarian for 65 years and was an inspiration for my husband to join Rotary almost 20 years ago. I have personally enjoyed the inspirational model Rotary provides.”

May & June �011 11familyworks.org

Therapy and Life Skills Center

Family Therapy and CouplesCounseling Concerns, hopes and dreams, as well as practical and effective relationship tools are explored. The result is increased understanding and empathy, more cooperation and more fun in family life through:

• Managing Child Behavior• Resolving Hurts and Conflicts• Dealing with Anxiety, Depression and Addictions• Sharing Child Rearing • Planning for Play• Managing Anger• Creating Cooperative Responsible Children

AssessmentUsing temperament profiles and developmental assessments, parents and children will learn positive skills and design behavior plans that maximize each child’s potential. Therapists consult with teachers and parents, developing behavioral interventions that work at home, play and school. Therapists are available to make home-visits, school observations and attend IEP meetings. Mental health screenings for anxiety, depression, AD/HD, etc. are available.

IndividualUtilizing a variety of theoretical approaches, APPLE FamilyWorks’ therapists help individuals to develop healthy life skills and increase their social-emotional well being. We are skilled in helping with a broad range of relationship and psychological issues, including:• Life Stage Transitions• Anxiety• Abuse• Depression• Anger & Conflict• Improved Self-Esteem• Grief & Loss• Stress

Therapy with ChildrenWith a wide variety of child-centered expressive arts, includingspecialized sand-tray materials, children bring their thoughts and emotions to the surface allowing the child to build self-esteem and enhance emotional regulation.

Therapy with TeensAPPLE FamilyWorks’ skilled therapists work with adolescents to support their journey to adulthood. Using various forms of expressive arts therapy, interactive play/exercises and outdoor activities, teens find new ways to resolve problems, build greater self-esteem and enhance their social skills in ways that support their healthy growth and development.

familyworks.org 415-492-0720Adjustable Fees

Therapy Programs

1� May & June �011 familyworks.org

Child-Centered Co-ParentingParents who are living apart learn to raise their children harmoniously, keep children “out of the middle” and safely in each of their lives.

Parents attend separate classes and learn to:

• Deal with each other respectfully

• Increase cooperation

• Make co-parenting decisions calmly

• Divide child-rearing tasks equitably

• Manage constantly shifting schedules

• Stop tantrums and dawdling

• Design consequences that work

• End rudeness & backtalk

Seven Tuesday evenings: May 3- June14, 2011Earn a certificate of completion at graduation.

P o s i t i v e& P e a c e f u l ParentingLearn Keys to Increasing:• Cooperation • Self-esteem • Responsibilty• Communication • Respect • Discipline

Viewing Life Today• Being a Proactive Parent • Identifying Your Universal Principles

Listening and Talking• Listening Effectively• Decreasing Impulsive Behavior• Anger Management

Feeling More Confident• Being Positive and Persistent• Sharing Successes• Setting Positive Consequences

Growing Great Kids• Understanding How Kids Work • Ensuring Goodness of Fit• Making Work Fun

Problem Solving that Gets Results• Using the Magical “When...Then”• Designing Charts that Get Results• Revamping “Time Out”

Four Tuesday evenings:May 3 - May 24, 2011Earn a certificate of completion at graduation.

Parenting Programs

familyworks.org 415-492-0720


ExploringMotherhoodFor Expectant & New Mothers (and infants birth to 9 months).

Marin Community Clinic NovatoSpanish speaking group: Tuesdays, 10 a.m. to noon and English speaking goup Fridays from 10 a.m. until noon at.

Marin Community Clinic San Rafael.Spanish speaking group Thursdays 10 AM to Noon • Share experiences, ideas, and support

• Learn about pregnancy and new parenthood

• Learn how to increase infant health & happiness

• Learn ways to manage change and decrease stress

• Reduce anxiety and depression

Free!

May & June �011 1�familyworks.org


Therapy and Life Skills CenterFamily Interactive Therapy

F. I.T Services:When Family members want to improve communication and learn problem solving skills, Family Interactive Therapy at FamilyWorks, offers a unique program.

Family Meeting

Individual Counseling

Initially the parents share concerns with their therapist, followed by an opportunity for the entire family to set and meet their goals. Then, individual family members may be interviewed. An action plan is designed to meet the needs of each individual and the entire family.

Families may choose to benefit from the one way mirror option, in which child development assessments are made and family members can practice the skills they are learning with the assistance of an APPLE FamilyWorks therapist. Parents may receive guidance through an ear bud as the therapist observes interactions through the one-way mirror. One-way Mirror Option


Support for Individuals with Developmental Disabilities

Independent Living Skills

Parenting Support Services



CPR & First Aid Classes

• Parenting and Co-Parenting

• Childbirth Education

• Child Development and Family Planning

• Behavior Management and Stress Reduction

• Early Intervention in Postpartum Depression

• Positive and Peaceful Discipline

• Family Health Promotion and Hygiene

• Injury Prevention, Nutrition, and Exercise

• Household Management, and Transportation

• Financial Management and Budgeting

• Development of Social Support Systems

• Linkage with Others Services

• Academic Growth

• Behavior Management

• Stress Reduction Skills

• Injury Prevention

• Nutrition

• Health Promotion and Exercise

• Hygiene and Self-care

• Housekeeping

• Transportation Skills

• Community Access

• Employment Readiness

• Financial Management and Budgeting

• Development of Social Support Systems

Saturday, June 11, 2011CPR - 9:30 AM to 1:00 PMFirst Aid - 1:15 to 4 PM

Learn infant, child and adult choke-saving and CPR and how to apply these skills in emergencies. You will have

hands-on practice, receive a CPR skill book and a National Safety Council Certification upon completion.



Why That’s GoodThe good news is that your child

is exhibiting perfectly healthy, adap-tive behavior. Think about it from her perspective. She asks for stuff, and sometimes she gets it. If she doesn’t ask, she usually doesn’t get it. Lastly, there’s no downside to asking. That’s the formula. So the rational, appropri-ate, learned response is to ask all the time. If your kid does that, he or she is learning appropriately. That’s good. Of course, all this desire and consumption is not helpful long term. It develops bad habits toward spending and consump-tion, and fills our homes and lives with waste.

What to Do About ItWhat’s missing in the above dynamic

is a counterweight to immediate con-sumption. Remember, where there is no cost to asking, and there is a per-ceived benefit, constant asking, and bad long-term habits are the results.

You can help your child by introduc-ing an alternative into the equation. We’ve found that a goal that the child

has adopted can be more compelling than an impulse purchase, and will be very effective in helping the child control the urge to consume.

Let’s say that your boy wants a new bike. He sees a picture of that bike and knows what needs to be saved to get it. Each week part of his allowance goes toward the bike, and on his birthday friends and family contribute to his goal. He sees a progress meter getting close to the goal and he gets engaged in the challenge. It is a game in its own right.

That goal serves several purposes. One, it introduces a choice into the act of asking for something. If resources are used to buy small things on im-pulse, it takes away from progress on the larger goal. Secondly, it fills a gap in the child’s mind; even if something is not being bought right now, they are still earning something they really want through saving. Lastly, it develops good habits. Kids that learn to acquire what they really value, rather than whatever they come across, will be more success-ful and responsible adults.

Why Your Kids Want EVERYTHING

Why That’s Good And What to Do About It

By Rudy DeFelice,CEO of Kidworth

Let me guess. Your otherwise balanced and well adjusted child has a limitless craving for stuff. Everything seen on a commercial, appearing in a kids’ magazine, or in a colorful box in a store creates a desperate need. They ask, and ask, and ask, and tiring of saying “no” all the time, you relent. And the cycle continues.


As families face increase pres-sures due to the economic downturn, kids are suffering in terms of their nutritional intake. It may be easier to feed our kids what is fast and easy – pop a box from the freezer into the microwave. Sadly, these quick fix meals are really a quick

way to becoming overweight as they are loaded with salt, sugars, and other hidden ingredients that cause further cravings for the same kind of unhealthy food. So what can parents do to prevent this epidemic from getting worse and causing disease among our young people?

by Jennifer Kelman

Kids in America are continuing to grow and grow, and not in the way that we had hoped. Our kids are becoming more and more overweight and not enough is done to prevent it.

Find Other “Fast and Easy” Ways to Create Healthful Meals

While it may seem like it is faster and easier to eat from a box, it is often just as quick to have fresh foods that aren’t pre-packaged. Grab some green veggies from the fresh vegetable section from the supermarket and a lean protein such as chicken breasts. These simple and healthful meals are as easy to prepare as something that comes from a box, yet they are devoid of high sodium, sugar, and trans-fats. Instead of giving your kids sugary snacks throughout the day, offer them fresh fruit instead.

Eliminate Juices, Juice Boxes,Flavored Water, and Soda

None of us want our kids to consume straight sugar, yet that is what is hap-pening when they drink the above mentioned items. These drinks have very little if any nutrition in them and are loaded with sugars. Read the labels and know that not all sugars are listed as sugar. Look for high fructose corn syrup and other “disguised” sugar. If kids want a little flavor in their water, consider adding two tbsp. of orange, lemon, or cranberry juice.

Child Obesity Things You Can

12


Pay Attention to How You Eat and Communicate About Food

Kids pick up on everything we do and this does not stop when it comes to our own nutrition and eating habits. If we eat poorly, we can certainly expect that our kids will too. If you exclaim that you hate spinach, so will your child. Eat a variety of fresh foods and offer the same to your child and they will learn to eat a healthy and varied diet.

Healthy Eating Does Not Happen Only in One Meal Sometimes, we get overly concerned if our child has one “bad” meal. It is important to remember that healthy eating happens over time and there may be a lapse here and there. A parent that is hyper-focused on eating and weight can open up the possibility of the other extreme of eating disorders. It is imperative that parents resolve their own issues around food and weight so that they do not pass them onto their child.Move, Move, and Move Again

Kids have become way too sedentary. Television, the Internet, texting, and social media sites are culprits when it comes to kids just sitting around. The old days of playing outside are long gone, yet they need to be brought back. Restrict the computers, TV, and cell phones and get your kids outside and moving. HAVE FUN outside every day.

Child obesity is preventable. Pay attention to the simple things mentioned and you will be on your way to providing your child with a healthy eating lifestyle and one that is filled with fun activity. Employ the steps together as a family and you will not only have a healthier lifestyle, but also more enjoyable times together as a family.

Jennifer Kelman has a BA in Sociology from American University and a Masters in Social Work from New York University and has worked with children in a variety of psychiatric and medical settings. She is the creator of Mrs. Pinkelmeyer, who inspires self-esteem in children through her love, warmth and silliness and author of the new children’s book, Mrs. Pinkelmeyer and Moopus McGlinden Burn the Rrrrump Rrrroast, available on Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, Booksamil-lion and www.MrsPinkelmeyer.com.

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www.

Camp Spotlight

Y Camp is going bananas! Summer Camp Develops Youth’s PotentialRegistration now open for camp

Y camp is going bananas this year! We are pulling out all the stops by keep-ing our traditional Y camp with sports, crafts, cooking, swimming and fieldtrips, and adding special events days with guest speakers, bike rides, nature hikes, Wii parties, and theme days! Day camp locations include Brookside Lower Campus in San Anselmo and two sites in Novato.

Instead of spending the summer at home and in-doors, the Marin YMCA is encouraging parents to give their kids a chance to explore nature at Y Day camp. Campers will gain new experiences, develop essen-tial social skills, and create lifelong friendships, while enjoying camp adventures along the way.

“Children and teens have gone to Y Camp for years,” says Dana McCune, Child Care Director at the Marin YMCA. “At day camp, kids are given new responsibilities and they learn independence. As a result, they become more confident, open to try-ing new things and grow as

Adventure

Experience

Growth

Friendship

Memories


individuals and as part of a group.”As a leading nonprofit committed

to strengthening community through youth development, healthy living and social responsibility, the Y works to help children and teens discover their full potential by providing opportunities to learn, grow and thrive amidst caring, supportive adults. According to camp-ing experts at the Marin Y, there are five reasons why children and teens should experience summer camp:

1. FOR ADVENTURE: Summer camp is all about fun adventures in the outdoors. YMCA camps offer a new adventure for every child and teen. Visit www.ymcasf.org/marin for details.2. FOR NEW EXPERIENCES: Day and resident camps are about learn-ing outside of school, exploring and appreciating the outdoors, developing new skills, making friends and show-ing leadership. 3. FOR PERSONAL GROWTH: While being away from the routine back home, youth have a chance to develop confidence and independence by taking on new responsibilities and challenges. 4. FOR NEW FRIENDSHIPS: Amidst the fun of camp games, songs, swimming, canoeing and talent shows, campers meet new friends. 5. FOR MEMORIES: Summer camp is an unforgettable experience that will give each camper memories that will last a lifetime.

To ensure that every child and teen has the chance to go to camp, the Marin YMCA offers financial assistance to those in need. All financial assistance applications are due to the Marin Y by May 16th. Application must be accompanied by required documents and a copy of registration form with deposits.

Camp hours are from 9:00 a.m.–4:00 p.m. Pre/post camp is free for all campers from 7:00–9:00 a.m. and

4:00–6:30 p.m. The Y provides a l ight breakfast every morn-ing from 7:30-8:30 and lunch on Mondays and Fridays. Please remem-ber to pack a healthy lunch for your child on Tuesdays, Wednes-days, and Thursdays. Daily schedules vary from site to site depend-ing on field trip and swim days. Unlike most camps, parents are able to sign up by the day, week, or whole summer.

About the YThe Y is one of the nation’s leading

nonprofits strengthening communities through youth development, healthy living and social responsibility. Across the U.S., 2,687 Ys engage 21 million men, women and children – regardless of age, income or background – to nur-ture the potential of children and teens, improve the nation’s health and well-

being, and provide opportunities to give back and support neighbors. Anchored in more than 10,000 communities, the Y has the long-standing relationships and physical presence not just to promise, but to deliver, lasting personal and so-cial change. www.ymcasf.org

For more information about Marin YMCA, visit www.ymcasf.org/marin or contact Dana McCune at 415-446-2140 or [email protected].

All financial assistance applications are due to the

Marin Y by May 16th.

�0 May & June �011 familyworks.org

Bar 717 Ranch – Camp TrinityFounded in 1930, the Bar 717 Ranch offers children ages 8-16 the opportunity to spend the summer on a beautiful mountain ranch. Campers choose freely from activities including horsemanship, backpacking, gardening, animal care, river swimming, arts and crafts, photography, music, drama, archery, blacksmithing and ceramics. 530-628-5992, www.bar717.com

Camp Tam at Homestead Valley A FUN, SAFE, traditional, diversely-programmed outdoor summer day camp for elementary school kids. A variety of outdoor activities, including our own swimming pool! Creative, small-group program; we promote respect for each other and the environment. Team-building exercises, games, projects, and nature education with walks through the host of trails that surround Homestead Valley. 415-388-0137. [email protected], www. homesteadvalley.org,

Camp WinnarainbowAges 7-14. A sleepaway camp specialized in the circus and performing arts. Activities include trapeze, clowning, tightrope, juggling, unicycling, stilt-walking, gymnastics, theater, hip hop, martial arts, magic, music, art, basketball court, nature walks, environmental and multi-cultural awareness. Beautiful lake with 350¹ waterslide, year-round stream and lodging in canvas tipis. 510-525-4304. www.campwinnarainbow.org

Devil’s Gulch Ranch CampCamp at Devil’s Gulch Ranch is a camp like no other! Experience a real working ranch, take care of the animals, explore the surrounding wilderness, connect with nature, make new friends, meet new challenges and learn the

skills of our ancestors. What you learn here will last you a lifetime. Our camp is accredited by the American Camp Association (ACA). Contact: (415) 662-1099, [email protected]. www.dges.org

Kids On Camera TV/Film Acting Day CampAge 4-18. Lights, camera, fun! Weeklong camps. 30th year. Comedy, characters w/costumes, voiceover, film acting, improv, photo modeling. Build confidence. 9:30A-3P. Extended care 8A-6P. San Rafael, July/Aug, St. Raphael School, 1100 5th Ave. San Francisco: Jun 27-July 1. 495 9th Ave near Geary/19th. We trained Andy, Toy Story. Judy Berlin 415.440-4400 www.kids-on-camera.com, $200-375.

Marin Horizon School Summer CampFun for children 3-8 yrs! 9am – 3pm, extended care 8:30am – 5:30pm. 4 or 5-day/week program; half-day option for 3 and 4-year olds. State-licensed. All head teachers have California State or Montessor i teaching credentials. Gymnastics, Swimming or Team Sports

every day! 3 age groups: the Scouts, the Hawks, and the Explorers. 3 sessions between 6/27 – 8/5. www.marinhorizon.org. 415-388-8408 x263.

Marin Shakespeare CompanySummer Camps:We make Shakespeare fun! Ages 5 to 7, 8 to 12 and teenagers. Two and three week

May & June �011 �1familyworks.org

sessions June 20 - August 12 in Ross, San Rafael and Novato, including the popular Tennis/Drama camp. Each session culminates in a performance. www.marinshakespeare.org or call 415-499-4487.

Marin YMCAY Camp is going bananas this year! We are pulling out all the stops by keeping our traditional Y camp with sports, crafts, swimming, and fieldtrips, and adding special event days with guest speakers, nature hikes, Wii parties, theme days and more. Check out our web site for details: www.ymcasf.org/marin.

Singers Marin “Musical You” Summer CampDo you Love to sing? Do you watch Glee and wish you could join in? Then join us for a fantastic musical experience. Ages 7 - 12: Solo and group vocal instruction; Musical Theatre, Choral Music; Dance Instruction;

Shakespeare's Stories: Age 5 - 7

Young Company: Age 8 - 12San Rafael, Ross, Novato

Teen Programs: Performance +

Tennis/Drama Camp, Age 8 - 14, San Rafael

We make Shakespeare fun!Camps June 20 - August 12

Info: 415/499-4487www.marinShakespeare.org

(Infant - 4.5 years)

®

Mill Valley Corte Madera San Anselmo

San Rafael

415.456.6630

TV/Film Acting Day CampAges 4-18

Award Winning • 30th Year Comedy, Voiceover, Film Acting, Improv

SAN RAFAEL, SAN FRANCISCO, EAST BAY June/July/Aug

415.440.4400www.kids-on-camera.com

Lessons in Stage Presence. 6/20 – 7/1, Mon - Fri, 10am - 4:00. Mt. Tamalpais Church, 410 Sycamore Ave., Mill Valley. 415-383-3712. www.singersmarin.org

Summer Dance Camps at Terra Linda RecreationFun “Circus Dance Camp” for active children

ages 6-11. Aug 1- 5. Ballet, tap, jazz, hip hop; learn how to create your own dance. No experience is required. “Princess Dance Camp”, ages 4-6, June 13 - 17. Ballet and creative dance; tiaras, wands, face painting and a Princess Ball! Go to http://eplay.livelifelocally.com for more information.

Join Us!Ages 7 to 12 - JUne 20 to JUly 1MUsicAl theAtre & chorAl MUsic

Mt. tAMAlpAis chUrch, Mill VAlley

Do yoU loVe to sing?Do yoU wAtch glee AnD wish

yoU coUlD Join in?

415-383-3712www.singersMArin.org

�� May & June �011 familyworks.org

AntifreezeWhile this deadly chemical is most often associated with the winter months, veterinarians see just as many antifreeze poisonings in the spring. Regular car maintenance calls for

a periodic radiator draining and antifreeze tastes sweet to our furry family members. It’s important to keep your pet from coming into

contact with this highly hazardous fluid, as even tiny amounts may cause sudden kidney failure.

It’s imperative to keep pets away from ethylene glycol based antifreeze. A safer alternative would

be a propylene based anti-freeze.

Coyotes Coyotes, having become more comfortable living in urban areas, sometimes associate pets with prey. Because some coyotes have lost their innate fear of humans, they may scale fences or dig under them for the promise of an easy meal.

Foxtails During the spring, “foxtails” sprout up in abundance and pets are likely to come into contact with them. Foxtail seeds have microscopic barbules along their surface. Once they catch onto an animal’s fur, they can move forward and become lodged in an animal’s skin (most often in the webbing between the toes), ear canal, or nose. Foxtails cause extreme discomfort in pets and

Seasonal changes can wreak havoc on pets

Sniffing Out theUnusual Dangersof Spring

As spring approaches and days get lon-ger, pets and their people spend more time outdoors. Warmer temperatures mean more time at the dog park, longer hikes or runs, more flowers to sniff, and afternoon naps on the lawn for our pets. And while spring is probably one of the most welcomed seasons, pet owners may not realize the unusual dangers lurking this time of year. “Every seasonal change can bring dangers, but spring presents some specific risks that can be easy to address – as long as pet owners know what to look for,” says Dr. Bowie, Veterinarian at Pet Emergency and Specialty Center of Marin.

May & June �011 ��familyworks.org

often lead to bleeding, infection, and, in the case of ear canal migration, ruptured eardrums. If swallowed, foxtails can lodge in the throat, causing swelling and infection. If accidentally inhaled, foxtails can cause serious damage and infection in the airways or lungs.

Pest Control Snails and slugs can be detrimental to our gardens, but getting rid of them can be hazardous to our pets’ health. Most snail baits combine an attractant, usually apple meal or some other sweet-smelling base, with an active chemical compound such as methaldehyde to poison what-ever swallows the bait. Unfortunately,

this may also attract pets and the out-come can be deadly. Rats are also a problem this time of year, and rat poison is one of the deadliest things your pet can ingest.

While these hazards may sound scary, it’s important to point out that these potentially deadly situations can be avoided, with a little help from well-informed pet owners.“I urge pet parents to get outdoors and enjoy the season, just remain aware of your pets’ sur-roundings,” says Dr. Bowie. “Changes in the environment can be stimulating to them, but new smells in the yard or garden can also be harmful. Simply take extra precautions: be sure all chemicals

are completely out of your pets’ reach, keep small pets on a leash at all times when outdoors, and remove foxtails as soon as you see them. Spring is a fantastic time for new adventures, and I’d love to help pet parents avoid the unwelcome adventure of a trip to the pet emergency room.”

Pet Emergency & Specialty Center of Marin is located in San Rafael with rapid access from almost any location in Marin, the East Bay, or North San Francisco. For more information, or to schedule an interview with Dr. Bowie, contact Kelly Diedring Harris, [email protected], 727.264.7970 or visit www.pescm.com.

Why your Kids Want Everythingcontinued from page 15

There is No Opting OutMake no mistake that there is a large,

sophisticated part of the economy re-lentlessly trying to reach your children through advertising, packaging, product placement, etc., sending the message of constant consumption. The decks are stacked heavily against kids and families trying to develop a healthy relationship with money.

Those influences reach anyone that is part of our culture. Therefore, if parents

don’t give kids a system to deal with these issues – if families don’t step in to provide a child’s values, those values will be supplied for them. A child’s greatest asset is to use some system that helps them consider their values, and set and track goals consistent with those values. If the family is not steering the ship, someone will steer it for them.

Using a System to Help Kids Develop Financial Skills

The good news is it is easy (and free)

to use a system to consider meaningful financial goals and monitor and track those goals. Kids can focus their “earn-ings” (gifts, allowance, and earnings from chores) towards things they find meaningful and consistent with the family’s values. In my case, my kids are saving for outdoor recreational equip-ment, charitable giving, college, and investing. We have worked with our kids to build goals, have shared those goals with friends and family, and seen them achieved.

Education Options...with Legos than to do it on a computer screen. Children need the tactile experience.

As always, parents who try out a preschool program should watch their child for signs of discontent. Anxiety, sleepless-ness, increased temper tantrums and sibling fighting, moodi-ness, and eating jags are signs of stress. Give a program two weeks and if signs do not subside, it may not be the right time for a formal play environment for your child.

Judy Arnall is a professional international award-winning Parenting Speaker, and Trainer, Mom of five children, and author of the best-selling, “Discipline Without Distress: 135 Tools for Raising Caring, Responsible Children Without Time-Out, Spanking, Punishment, or Bribery” and a new DVD called “Plugged-In Parenting: Connecting with the

Digital Generation for Health, Safety and Love.” www.pro-fessionalparenting.ca (403) 714-6766 [email protected]

continued from page 9

John T. Smith, DDS915 Sir Francis Drake Blvd., San Anselmo

(Across from Red Hill Shopping Center)

415-453-1666

Family Dental Care

OPEN

EVERYDAY

9AM-9PM

2006-2010

Honored by your voting us into the Hall of Fame for Best Health Food Store

and three years running Best Business that

Promotes Going Green

2006-2010

Best Business thatPromotes Going Green

Best HealthFood Store

2008 FAMILY FRIENDLYBuSINESS OF THE YEAR

Holiday MenuOur Kitchen is Offering Three

Thanksgiving Dinners and Four Yummy Pies!

From the Good Earth Kitchen

OPENEVERYDAY9AM-9PM

To place an order, stop by or call 454-0123Thanksgiving orders accepted through Monday, Nov. 22

Each 1.25 pound dinner is presented in a fully-recyclable and oven-heatable aluminum containerMarin’s largest selection of fine wines Made from Organic and Biodynamic Grapes

Organic Turkey DinnerHand-sliced Turkey Brest Garlic Green BeansTurkey Grravy Cranberry SauseSage Stuffing Single Dinner, $24Mashed Potatoes Dinner for 4, $92

Organic Pumpkin Lasagna DinnerVegeterian Pumpkin LasagnaGarlic Green BeansCranberry SauseSingle Dinner, $14 Dinner for 4, $52

Vegeterian Almond Loaf DinnerAlmond Loaf Garlic Green BeansWalnut Pecan Grravy Cranberry SauseSage Stuffing Single Dinner, $20Vegan Sashed Potatoes Dinner for 4, $76

Organic Homemade PiesPies Serve 6-8Wheat free Almand Crust is available for an additional $2Pumpkin Pie $21.98 Apple Pie $17.98Vegan Pumpkin Pie $15.98 Pecan Pie `$23.98

1966 Sir Francis Drake Blvd FairfaxGeNatural.com

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