fwm 2009 11 and 12

� FamilyWorks Magazine - November & December, �009 www.familyworks.org

November & December, 2009

APPLE FamilyWorks® 4 Joseph Court, San Rafael, CA 94903 email: [email protected]

Read FamilyWorks Magazine on-line at www.familyworks.org

Advertising Information: Doug Silberstein Phone: (415) 492-1022 FAX: (415) 492-1099 email: [email protected]

Editorial Information: Lew Tremaine Phone: (415) 492-0720 x231 FAX: (415) 492-1099

Circulation: This major family magazine is published bi-monthly and widely distributed FREE throughout Marin and Sonoma Coun-ties: through home deliveries, distribution to over 200 community locations - stores, public and private schools, medical offices, hospitals, and family-related businesses – and direct mail to thousands of active participants and sponsors of FamilyWorks®.

© 2009 FamilyWorks®, All rights reserved. FamilyWorks is a nonprofit agency serving families in the Bay Area. No portion of FamilyWorks Magazine may be reproduced without written permission of the publisher. Appearance of articles, editorials, author’s point of view, advertisements or announcements for products and services in FamilyWorks Magazine does not necessarily constitute an endorsement by FamilyWorks® and FamilyWorks® is not responsible for its content or the reactions of readers to its content. FamilyWorks Magazine reserves the right to refuse advertising for any reason. Unsolicited manuscripts and photographs are welcome and should e-mailed to: [email protected]

Executive Director: Mary Jane DeWolf-SmithEditor: Lew Tremaine

Marketing: Doug Silberstein

Art Director/Website: Christine M. Astin

Web Publisher: Art Severe

Printed by: Marin Sun Printing

FamilyWorks® Board of Directors:

Amy Whitelaw, President

Maria Villani, Treasurer

Mark Clark, Secretary

Anjana Berde, Board member

Paul Ricken, Board member

3 Who are 2009’s Families of the Year? Photos by Anna Chandler

8 The Gift of Gratitude By Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith MA, RN, MFT

10 Marin Ballet’s Nutcracker: A New Pirouette on a Classic by Connie Zabokrtsky

APPLE FamilyWorks 12Counseling Programs 13Family Interactive Therapy 14 Special Needs Programs 15 Education Programs

18 2010 School Directory

This seal of approval is a service mark of Independent Charities of America and is used under license.

Content is the responsibility of FamilyWorks.

awarded to

19 School Profile: Lycée Français

16Caring is the New SmartBy Dottie DeHart

FamilyWorks Magazine is published by APPLE FamilyWorks®

FamilyWorks Magazine -November & December �009 �www.familyworks.org

2009 Families of the Year

The Mendez-Alvarez

Family

Family Unity Award

Volunteer Family of the Year

The Sicroff Family

Photography by Anna Chandler

Nominated by Saul Godinez of Canal Alliance

Nominated by Maria Baird, Volunteers of Fairfax

Anne-Marie Jonathan and Olivia, (missing, Micaela)

Sonia, Alexis, Sonia, Francisco and Anthony


Meet the 2009Family Friendly Business of the Year

T&B Sports

In the recent storm about certain companies being “too big to fail” there has been a heated discussion about the need for an increased focus on supporting small businesses. Though large corporations can create a high volume of jobs and often have the capital to invest in innovation, many feel that small businesses are the heart and soul of our economy.

One local business that embodies that heart and soul is San Rafael based T & B Sports, family owned and operated by the Brusati family since its inception in 1946, and currently run by a second and third generation of the Brusati family.

T & B’s family-centered approach gained the attention of the FamilyWorks Board of Directors. FamilyWorks—an in-novative parenting and counseling center—recently honored T & B Sports as the 2009 Family Friendly Business of the Year at their Families of the Year Gala. In carefully searching for the 2009 Family Friendly Business of the Year, T & B Sports’ commitment to family unity beyond its own family members, made it a perfect choice for the award.

T & B Sports—which specializes in selling team sporting equipment and uniforms to youth and adult organizations throughout Northern California—is proud of the fact that all their employees are full-time with an excellent benefit package that includes medical coverage and participation in a 401(k). They also strictly adhere to two other family-friendly policies:

a 5:30 PM closing time to ensure that employees can share dinner with their families, and staying closed on Sundays - so that employees can have a family day.

Owners Jeff and Mike Brusati clearly recognize that being a local, family-owned business brings with it the responsibility of actively participating in bettering their local community. T & B Sports sponsors numerous youth sporting teams in Marin and Sonoma and fundraising activities for schools, leagues or other organizations.

T & B Sports may not qualify as being “too big to fail” but they are too integral to the health of the community to lose. FamilyWorks, which has been strengthening local families for over 31 years, acknowledges the value of family-friendly businesses in strengthening the community, and is proud to recognize T & B Sports as its 2009 Family Friendly Business of the Year.

The 2009 Families of the Year Gala was sponsored by Autodesk, Marin Sanitary Service, Marinscope Community Newspapers, John T. Smith, D.D.S., Alex’s Workroom, Anna Chandler Photography, Bank of Marin, Good Earth Natural & Organic Foods, Luther Burbank Savings, Marintellect Consulting, PMB Helin Donovan, Stanley Jackson & the JOY Band, Tamalpais Bank, WestAmerica Bank, Seagate Properties and St. Luke Presbyterian Church.

Jeff Brusati receives the �009 Family Friendly Business of the Year award on behalf of T&B Sports


Scenes from the Gala


The Finalists

�009 Families of the Year Sponsors

Seagate Properties

Anna ChandlerPhotography

Marin Sanitary Service

The JOY BandFeaturing Stanley Jackson

Volunteer finalists the Palma Family and FOY Judge Bobbie Casey

Volunteer finalists the Schinske Family and FOY Judge Paul Ricken

Volunteer finalists the Challenger Family and FOY Judge Laura Adler

Family Unity finalists the Cifuentez-Alvarez Family

Marin Scope Community Newspapers

Marintellect Consulting

Villani Inc.St. Luke

Presbyterian Church

Alex’s Workroom

John T. Smith DDS


Beginning with AcceptanceOne way we can help one another is to build our apprecia-

tion of our good fortunes.But first we may need to learn to accept missed fortunes as

part of our life cycle.Personal and family growth mirrors nature’s seasons. In fall,

the leaves dry and trees become bare. Winter follows with dark skies, wind, and rain. Spring follows the tempest leading to sprouting seeds of a new beginning, with lighter rains feeding nature’s glorious display of a rainbow of colors. As summer approaches, the dry spell begins once again.

It is natural for us to wish for sunny skies and gentle breezes. But it is self-defeating to expect that we have the power to avoid the storms. Each disappointment or heartache can lead to renewal and redirection of our energies. Acceptance of the ebb and flow of our life’s tide allows us to ride waves of sorrow as we float toward the shore of solace.

Acceptance saves us from fighting against the undertow and leaves energy to be present for all that is alive and well.

Grasping versus GratitudeDuring the holiday season, advertising’s primary purpose is

to make us feel that we do not have enough. We are deluged with advertising urging us to grasp hold of the latest appli-ance, furnishings, clothing, electronics, cars, and toys. The media wants us to feel sorry for ourselves, to feel incomplete, to feel that others have more than we. Advertising wants us to

Some of us willhave a whirl of negative

thoughts buzzing aroundin our heads during the holiday

season. These stressful (but supposed to be happy) times can be fraught

with dark emotions.

In this issue of the FamilyWorks Magazine author Dottie DeHart‘s

article focuses on building awareness that we strengthen our children,

families and community by focusing on caring as an essential attribute. I would like to add that practicing gratitude makes caring a natural

part of our lives.

TheGift

ofGratitude

by Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith, RN, PHN, MA, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist specializing in couples, parenting and co-parenting concerns. She is a renowned family educator. Learn more great parenting skills in her Positive & Peaceful Parenting class. Call (415) 492-0720 to sign up or make an appointment for counseling services.

FamilyWorks Magazine -November & December �009 9www.familyworks.org

believe that all our discontent will vanish when we own more.

Practicing GratitudeWe need not be fooled. We can resist advertising’s brainwashing by fill-

ing our mind with thoughts and expressions of abundance. Each evening at the dinner table or before bedtime have family members share with one another what they are grateful for. The gratitude can be for any blessing. “I am grateful for your smile.” “I am grateful for a warm meal.” “I am grateful for my friend ___.” “I am grateful that you take me to school”. “I am grateful that I am loved.”

During the holidays, and during the year, spend time at a homeless shelter, or soup kitchen, food bank, visiting the elderly, or reading to the disabled. Helping others could mean a phone call, an email, a note, a home cooked meal. Volunteering puts our lives in perspective and helps us to more clearly see our own blessings.

Gifts of GratitudePerhaps the best present to a friend or loved one in the holiday season

is demonstrating gratitude that they are in your lives. For many, a gift of your time shows how much they mean to you: babysitting, shared house cleaning, a car ride, a night out, etc. For some, a small gift as a token of a special time you shared is just perfect. Perhaps a back rub is the best present. For others a gift of affirmation is what shows your gratitude best of all: a poem, a letter, a gathering of pictures in a collage, or sim-ply saying, “I love you.” The old saying, “It is the thought that counts,” rings true.

Perhaps the best present to a friend or

loved one in the holiday season is demonstrating gratitude that

they are inyour lives

I wish each of you holidays filledwith gratitude.

10 FamilyWorks Magazine - November & December, �009 www.familyworks.org

Artistic Director Cynthia Lucas commissioned Adam to revitalize Marin County’s Nutcracker tradition because Adam brings with her a strong legacy of classical training and storytelling ability developed through years of working with such companies as the National Ballet of Canada and San Francisco Ballet. Lucas adds, “She has the background, not only to create a two-act ballet, but to bring a clarity and vocabulary into the studio that provides structure to children through the creative process.”

Adam has approached the famous Christmas Eve tale with a grand sense of adventure and the idea that the dancing should be a part of the plot. Her story is not a passive one where Clara sits and watches as the magic happens. Instead, Clara participates in the adventure bringing friends and family with her. For an audience, part of the fun of going to the theater is pretending that you are one of the characters on stage and, with this new adaptation, it’s easy to become absorbed in the twists and turns of fanciful events. Adam ex-plains, “I wanted to tell the story as a child would tell it….not as a spectator would see it unfold, but as a child would want to experience it.”

Likewise, this concept of participation is how Adam works with Marin Ballet’s young dancers. Working with children requires choreographic

by Connie Zabokrtsky

Marin Ballet’sNutcracker 2009

Engaging children in the creative process is a deli-cate balancing act that is both challenging and reward-ing. For Marin County resident and choreographer Julia Adam, the past three summers have been spent pursuing that balance through her creation of a new Nutcracker production for the 180 student dancers of Marin Ballet who perform the fairy-tail classic each December at the Marin Center.

A New Pirouetteon a Classic


choices that utilize a variety of developmental skills. For in-stance, creating patterns with a group of bodies requires precise collaborative movement. Turning 8-year-olds into beautiful golden eggs delivered by a glittering Golden Goose meant working with the children on the floor, rolling and stretching to create patterns and shapes. Transforming dancers of mixed ages into a sailing boat meant repeating the same simultaneous movement with different size bodies. Small bodies move and work differently than bigger ones, so there is an experimental phase of rehearsing during which the children inform the dance physically, vocally and emotionally. If they don’t understand their role in the story, neither will the audience. It is a holistic process that requires patience and an open-minded sense of humor by all.

“Working with these children over three years and watching them grow has been a very unique opportunity. It’s exciting and inspiring. Children are so willing to give themselves to the process….to go anywhere with their imaginations,” says Adam. “I feel honored that Cynthia has shared her students with me. It’s been like working as part of a family.”

“I am so proud of our students,” beams Lucas. “You can feel the excitement around the production. Our students are part of an amazing gift being created for an entire community. They are completely engaged. Julia is very impressed at how quickly our students pick-up new ideas and how focused they are….she was so thrilled to walk into the studio early for rehearsals and find the dancers already practicing. They seem to know they are experiencing a memorable moment.”

Marin Ballet students are able to take on the challenge of a new ballet through the collaborative training approach adopted by Lucas that includes bringing her faculty into the planning and staging process. In addition to the annual training syllabus for each level of dancer, key skill sets and stylistic techniques required by Adam are incorporated into the student’s weekly classes. It is an approach that nurtures the confidence young dancers need first to internalize new ways of dancing, second to master the steps and feel successful, and third to go beyond simply remembering steps and counts to becoming the charac-ters in the story and giving those characters to the audience.

Adam and the dancers at Marin Ballet are very excited about the upcoming December “debut” of their work. “This is a lovely way to introduce children to classical ballet. It’s not too intimidating or too serious and is accessible to audiences of all ages,” notes Adam. Slightly shorter in length than full- company productions, it is a two-act ballet complete with guest artists, sparkling costumes, and lavish sets. The new Marin Ballet Nutcracker will debut the weekend of December 12th and 13th at the Marin Center. Tickets are on sale at the Marin Center Box Office, 415.499.6800.

Connie Zabokrtsky is Director of Communications, Market-ing & Development for Marin Ballet. For more information about Marin Ballet call 415.453.6705 or visit www.marinbal-let.org.

inter onderland

Parade of Lightsinter onderland

FridayNovember 27th

Fourth Street - A Street to LootensDowntown San Rafael

✺ Free Snow Sledding & Kids Activities on A Street between 4th Street & 5th Avenue

noon - 4pm & 6:30 - 8pm

✺ Parade of Lights & Downtown Tree Lighting Ceremony 5:30pm

✺ Holiday Market & Window Displays 3pm - 8pm

✺ Entertainment & Musical Performances 4pm - 8pm

Saturday November 28thFree Snow Sledding & Kids Activities continue! 9am - until the snow melts!

Sponsored by The San Rafael Redevelopment Agency - The Pacifi c Sun

1� FamilyWorks Magazine - November & December, �009 www.familyworks.org

Family Therapy and CouplesCounseling Concerns, hopes and dreams, as well as practical and effective relationship tools are explored. The result is increased understanding and empathy, more cooperation and more fun in family life through:

• Managing Child Behavior• Resolving Hurts and Conflicts• Dealing with Anxiety, Depression and Addictions• Sharing Child Rearing • Planning for Play• Managing Anger• Creating Cooperative Responsible Children

AssessmentUsing temperament profiles and developmental assessments, parents and children will learn positive skills and design behavior plans that maximize each child’s potential. Therapists consult with teachers and parents, developing behavioral interventions that work at home, play and school. Therapists are available to make home-visits, school observations and attend IEP meetings. Mental health screenings for anxiety, depression, AD/HD, etc. are available.

IndividualUtilizing a variety of theoretical approaches, FamilyWorks’ therapists help individuals to develop healthy life skills and increase their social-emotional well being. We are skilled in helping with a broad range of relationship and psychological issues, including:

• Life Stage Transitions• Anxiety• Abuse• Depression• Anger & Conflict• Improved Self-Esteem• Grief & Loss• Stress

Therapy with ChildrenWith Child-centered “playrooms,” and a wide variety of expressive arts, including FamilyWorks’ specialized sand-tray materials, children “play” in ways that allow them to bring their thoughts and emotions to the surface. As children’s experiences and knowledge are more and more freely communicated through play, the therapist works with those themes as a vehicle for self- acceptance and emotional regulation.

Therapy with TeensFamilyWorks’ skilled therapists work with adolescents to support their journey to adulthood. Using various forms of expressive arts therapy, interactive play/exercises and outdoor activities, teens find new ways to resolve problems, build greater self-esteem and enhance their social skills in ways that support their healthy growth and development.

www.familyworks.org 415-492-0270

StrengtheningRelationships...For a Lifetime

Strengthening Relationships... For a Lifetime


Therapy and Life Skills Center

Adjustable Fees

FamilyWorks Magazine -November & December �009 1�www.familyworks.org





Therapy and Life Skills CenterFamily Interactive Therapy

F. I.T Services:When Family members want to improve communication and learn problem solving skills, Family Interactive Therapy at FamilyWorks, offers a unique program.

Family Meeting

Individual Counseling

Initially the parents share concerns with their therapist, followed by an opportunity for the entire family to set and meet their goals. Then, individual family members may be interviewed. An action plan is designed to meet the needs of each individual and the entire family.

Families may choose to benefit from the one way mirror option, in which child development assessments are made and family members can practice the skills they are learning with the assistance of a FamilyWorks Therapist. Parents may receive guidance through an ear bud as the therapist observes interactions through the one-way mirror.

One-way Mirror Option


Support for Individuals with Disabilities

Independent Living Skills• Academic Growth

• Behavior Management

• Stress Reduction Skills

• Injury Prevention

• Nutrition

• Health Promotion and Exercise

• Hygiene and Self-care

• Housekeeping

• Transportation Skills

• Community Access

• Employment Readiness

• Financial Management and Budgeting

• Development of Social Support Systems

Parenting Support Services• Parenting and Co-Parenting

• Childbirth Education

• Child Development and Family Planning

• Behavior Management and Stress Reduction

• Early Intervention in Postpartum Depression

• Positive and Peaceful Discipline

• Family Health Promotion and Hygiene

• Injury Prevention, Nutrition, and Exercise

• Household Management, and Transportation

• Financial Management and Budgeting

• Development of Social Support Systems

• Linkage with Others Services






FamilyWorksCPR & First Aid ClassesSaturday January 16, 2010

CPR - 9:30 AM to 1:00 PM

First Aid - 1:15 to 4 PM

Held in the APPLE FamilyWorks Community Room6 Joseph Ct. San Rafael

National Safety Council Certification upon completion

Call Candy at 492-0720 to register


Child-Centered Co-ParentingParents who are living apart learn how to raise their children harmoniously, keep children “out of the middle” and safely in each of their lives. Parents attend separate classes and learn to:

• Deal with each other respectfully

• Increase cooperation

• Make co-parenting decisions calmly

• Divide child-rearing tasks equitably

• Manage constantly shifting schedules

• Stop tantrums and dawdling

• Design consequences that work

• End rudeness & backtalk

Seven Tuesday evenings: Jan. 5 - Feb. 16, 2010Earn a certificate of completion at graduation.

P o s i t i v e& P e a c e f u l ParentingLearn Keys to Increasing:• Cooperation • Self-esteem • Responsibilty• Communication • Respect • Discipline

Viewing Life Today• Being a Proactive Parent • Identifying Your Universal Principles

Growing Great Kids• Understanding How Kids Work • Ensuring Goodness of Fit• Making Work Fun

Listening and Talking• Listening Effectively• Decreasing Impulsive Behavior

Problem Solving that Gets Results• Using the Magical “When...Then”• Designing Charts that Get Results• Revamping “Time Out”

Feeling More Confident• Being Positive and Persistent• Sharing Successes• Setting Positive Consequences

Four Tuesday evenings:Jan. 26 - Feb. 16, 2010Earn a certificate of completion at graduation.

Parenting Programs






ExploringMotherhoodFor Expectant & New Mothers (and infants birth to 9 months).Spanish speaking group: Tuesdays, 10 a.m. to noon at Marin Community Clinic in Novato.English and Spanish speaking groups Thursdays 10 AM to Noon at Marin Community Clinic in San Rafael. • Share experiences, ideas, and support

• Learn about pregnancy and new parenthood

• Learn how to increase infant health & happiness

• Learn ways to manage change and decrease stress

• Reduce anxiety and depression

Free!


Trait PercentageHealthy 98Happy 97Secure 95Caring 94Confident 94Moral 91Resilient 66Smart 65Social 61Spiritual 52

What do you want for your child? It’s a universally pondered ques-tion. From the first glow of pregnancy through tumultuous toddler-hood all the way through the jam-packed years of school, moms and dads have plenty of time to consider the traits they want to cultivate in their kids. And if you had to predict the typical parent’s wish list, you might (safely) assume “healthy and happy” tops the list. But what would come next? Parenting expert Michele Borba, Ed.D., says the answers might not be what you’d expect.

In the new “Joys of Motherhood Survey” that Borba conducted in conjunction with Parents Magazine, 2,140 mothers rated the top ten traits that they’d like their own children to possess. The participants were asked to rank traits that ranged from spiritual and secure to moral and confident. Results of the study were more than a little surprising.

Here are the ten traits, in order of the percentage of moms who rated

New Parenting Survey Reveals Surprising Truth About the Kids Moms Really Want to Raise

Ask any parent what they want their kids to be and you’re sure to hear “healthy and happy.” But what comes next on their priority list? The results of a new survey by educational psychologist Michele Borba show that most of us would rather raise the next Mother Teresa than the next Albert Einstein.

By Dottie DeHart


them as very important:“It’s no surprise that healthy and happy topped the list,” says

Borba, author of the new book The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries (Jossey-Bass/A Wiley Imprint, September 2009, ISBN: 978-0-7879-8831-9, $19.95). “What is interest-ing is that more moms rated secure, caring, confident, and moral as ‘very important’ than they did smart.”

In light of our culture’s emphasis on succeeding in a com-petitive academic and business world, Borba says it’s both unexpected and refreshing to see that parents care more about their children having a strong, solid character than they do about them being a shoe-in for valedictorian or having a future in the Ivy Leagues. And the survey, which is included in the introduction to her new book, seems to suggest just that.

“Of course parents want their children to do well in life,” she continues. “That’s a given. But it’s nice to see that they understand the importance of raising a child who is a good, well-rounded per-son—not just a brainiac who can make the grade. After all, there are plenty of successful people—CEOs and enterpris-ing entrepreneurs—who didn’t have the highest IQ scores or degrees from top academic institutions.”

Even more important, stresses Borba, is that today’s parents are realizing that happiness isn’t all about the prestigious diploma or the paycheck you earn.

“Happy adults are the ones who are confident being themselves, who care about others and have others who care about them,” she concludes. “And this study shows us that moms and dads want to raise their kids to be good people, to be happy, and to be contributors to the world around them. In a time when bad news is more common than good, it’s nice to see a shining glimmer of hope for our future generations—all thanks to the people who are raising them.”

Kids Who Care: Twelve Research-Based Tips for Raising the Con-fident, Caring Kids Every Parent Wants

From Michele Borba, author of The Big Book of Parenting Solu-tions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries (Jossey-Bass/A Wiley Imprint, September 2009, ISBN: 978-0-7879-8831-9, $19.95).

Caring counts. Most parents instinctively want their children to develop a strong moral character and to care about others. In fact, ac-cording to a recent survey by Parents Magazine and parenting expert and author Dr. Michele Borba, caring comes in high on the list of traits today’s moms want their kids to possess.

“Caring is the trait that helps sensitize our children to different points of view, and it increases their awareness of others’ ideas and opinions,” notes Borba, author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions:

Happy adults arethe ones whoare confident

being themselves, who care about others and have others who care

about them...

Continued on page �0


The German Language School of Marin We provide students with affordable, yet highly qualified instruction about the language, customs, history and culture of German speaking countries. Classes are given on Saturdays from 9:30 am - 12:00 noon and are open to anyone interested in learning German. www.germanschoolmarin.com

Lycée Français La PérouseThe Lycée Français is the only total immersion French school in the Bay Area. The college preparatory school welcomes children from pre-K to 12th grade on three campuses, where students follow the authentic French National Education

program. The school is ideal for engaged, active learners who are not afraid of academic challenges. www.lelycee.org

Marin Country Day School Marin Country Day School is a warm, inclusive, diverse community guided by core values of respect, responsibility and compassion. Children develop into excellent learners and good people through a broad-based, highly participatory curriculum. The vibrant spirit of all involved engage to make MCDS a good place for children. Primary points of entry are at kindergarten and grade 6. www.mcds.org

Marin Waldorf SchoolPre-K through 8th grade. Our curriculum provides a rigorous academic education including foreign languages, arts, music, movement, and community festivals. Our program fosters critical thinking, emotional and social intelligence, and physical activity. Marin County’s only accredited Waldorf School. Open House November 14th 10am – noon. (415) 479-8190 x 102. www.marinwaldorf.org

Montessori de Terra LindaMontessori de Terra Linda offers a Montessori education for children ages two through twelve. In addition to a strong, academic curriculum we offer Spanish, Orff Music, and Art. Physical Education is taught to all Elementary students. A Gardening Program, After School Specialty Classes, and Summer Camp programs are offered for all levels. 415-479-7373; www.mdtl.org; [email protected]

2010School Directory

Montessoride Terra Linda

620 Del Ganado Road (at Freitas Parkway) San Rafael

Now accepting applications for Fall 2010We nurture each child’s innate curiosity, desire to grow, and unique learning style.

Strong academic program Knowledgeable and experienced staff An active and caring school community

An independent school serving children ages 2–12 yearssince 1970

Association Montessori Internationale Recognized

Open HouseSaturday, November 14th 10:00 AM-12:00PM

Saturday, January 9th 10:00 AM-12:00 PM(adults only please)

RSVP: [email protected]

www.mdtl.org

continued on page ��


Lycée Français La Pérouse The French immersion School Corte Madera andSan Francisco

The Lycée Français La Pérouse was founded in San Francisco in 1967 to provide a total immersion French education program adhering to the highly respected curriculum of France’s national education system in Preschool to 12th grade.

The Lycée Français La Pérouse is fully accred-ited in the U.S by the California Association of Independent schools and the Western Associa-tion of Schools and Colleges.

There are currently more than 900 students on three campuses, the Corte Madera campus, located on Golden Hind Passage, and two cam-puses in San Francisco - the Ashbury campus for Primary students and the Ortega campus for Middle and High School students. Lycée school buses provide the option to families living in the Peninsula and Marin County to come to the San Francisco campuses. In Marin County, bus stops are located in San Rafael and Corte Madera.

The Lycée Français La Pérouse provides a challenging educational environment, empha-sizing academic achievement leading to the French Baccalaureate. The program is based on the French national curriculum augmented by courses in American History, U.S. Math, English Literature and Visual Arts. Designed to provide students with a structured, comprehensive body of general knowledge while encouraging the

continued on page ��

�0 FamilyWorks Magazine - November & December, �009 www.familyworks.org

101 Answers to Your Everyday Chal-lenges and Wildest Worries. “It also en-hances empathy, which is the foundation of moral behavior. Kids who care will grow into adults who have the skills they need to live successfully in our diverse, multicultural, 21st century world.”

The good news is there’s plenty par-ents can do to bring out and encourage the natural empathy that exists in our kids. Ready to get started? Read on for tips from Dr. Borba’s new book that will boost your children’s caring hearts and curb their selfish behavior before it’s too late.

Strike the right balance of love and limits. Parenting is a constant balancing act, and raising kids to be caring, kind, and considerate adults is no exception. Research shows that the best formula for raising kids who are less selfish and more considerate has two equal parts: unconditional love and firm limits. So ask yourself, Is my parenting evenly balanced between the two parts? As a parent, your unconditional love sets the example for forgiveness and what it means to truly care about another human being. The firm limits that you set for your children teach them how to behave within boundaries and set them up to maintain positive behaviors. When balanced together, they create a formula for behavioral and emotional success for your kids.

Be the change you want to see. You know what makes kind and considerate kids? Kind and considerate parents! The simplest and most powerful way kids learn behaviors like kindness and con-sideration is by seeing them in action. Make sure you are the model you want your child to copy. Be aware that kids are watching you—whether you realize it or not—and they will mimic your own behaviors as they interact with others in their world.

Introduce them to their feelings.

Before your kids can become sensitive to the feelings of others, they have to be able to correctly identify emotional states in themselves. Developing emo-tional intelligence in your child can be as simple as regularly posing the question, How do you feel? Pay attention to your child’s emotions so that you can use them as cues to explain to them what those different feelings mean, why they occur, and how to deal with them. Once they have a grasp of their own emotions, they’ll begin to recognize them in oth-ers, too.

Make caring mandatory. Your chil-dren are desperate for your approval, and they want to please you by meeting your expectations of them. Kids tend to work only as hard as they have to in order to meet the standards that are set for them, so it’s important to set the bar high from the get-go. If you want your child to care, don’t just hope that he will; expect it. And once he begins to display the caring behaviors that you expect of him, reinforce it through praise and encouragement. Once he knows you’re noticing, and are pleased, he’ll be more likely to keep up the good work.

Don’t miss the teachable moments. The best moments to teach your kids about caring are usually not planned—they just happen. When you see some-one doing a good deed, acting selflessly, or showing compassion, point it out to your child. Explain to him what the per-son is doing and how that is an example of the behavior you expect from her. Be sure to pay attention and don’t let those moments pass you by. Instead, capitalize on those teachable moments to help your child understand the power those simple acts of good behavior can have.

Manage their mainstream media ex-posure. Thanks to technology, kids are exposed to more while parents struggle to keep up with what’s being streamed into their homes and their kids’ psyches each day. Know what your kids are watching and listening to: protecting them from cruel and degrading images should be a top priority. The more they see and hear, the more desensitized they

become to hurtful language and harmful behaviors that the media may portray as funny or cool. Protect their empathetic development by limiting television viewing, monitoring online browsing, and policing their iPods.

Take them for a walk on the other side. Feelings and emotions are abstract concepts that can be hard for children to understand. Try framing scenarios that will help them to see another point of view. This will help them to understand how someone else may feel or to realize that their own feelings aren’t the only ones involved when they interact with others. For example, ask your child to imagine being the new student in school who didn’t know anyone. And then ask her to imagine how she might feel in that situation. Once she begins to grasp the idea, you can begin to brainstorm ways that she could show kindness to some-one who might be in that position.

Pause before you praise. It’s natural to be proud of your kids and even more natural to want to shower them with accolades and affection. However, constantly praising and rewarding your child can make him think life revolves around him and can actually increase self-centeredness. There’s a fine line between confident and cocky, so be careful that you aren’t encouraging him to become an ego-maniac. It’s okay to praise him; just be sure it’s when he has truly earned and deserved it.

Perfect their patience. One of the warning signs for selfish behavior is a child who is impatient. Not only does he want his way, he wants it now—and he doesn’t consider whether or not anyone else is being inconvenienced as a result. Nip this behavior before it goes too far by stretching your child’s waiting quo-tient: If he asks to go to the park, it’s okay to say yes; just don’t jump in the car right away. Teaching your child to be patient will also teach him how not to put his own needs in front of those of other people.

Enforce a zero-tolerance ban on cru-

Caringcontinued from page 1�

FamilyWorks Magazine -November & December �009 �1www.familyworks.org

elty. Cruelty doesn’t just happen in the classroom or on the playground. Pay close attention to how your child acts in every situation in order to take a proactive stand against cruelty. Teach her to treat all living beings—her neighborhood friends, the family pet, even theroses in your garden—with care and respect. No matter how minor or harmless you may think an incident tinged with cruelty may be, squelch it immediately. Those behaviors can manifest themselves in negative and harmful ways if they are allowed. Rais-ing a cruelty-free child is the best way to make the world a better place.

Shift their focus to putting others first. Selfish children have a tendency to put themselves first. They are the first in line for a piece of cake at the birthday party, the only one (according to them) allowed to play with the new video game, or the sibling who gets to sit in the front seat of the car every single time. To combat this behavior, give your child gentle reminders about those around him, and help him step aside and start putting others first. You may say: No, let Rob have a turn. He’s been waiting just as long as you or I know you wanted to use the Wii, but let’s think of your brother also. But make sure that he still gets to be first every once in a while. Forcing him to constantly give up his place may breed resentment and an unwillingness to cooperate.

Get your kids to give back. Children learn habits at an early age, and the best way to teach them behavioral life skills is to get them involved in a hands-on way. Kids won’t learn how to be car-ing from reading about the concept in a textbook, but from doing caring deeds. Encourage your child to lend a hand to make the world a better place. Help her choose a charity or organization she is interested in and then get her involved. It can be as simple as visiting with an elderly neighbor or helping to prepare a meal for a sick relative. If you start these habits early, while your children are young, their caring ways will stick with them long into adulthood.

at the YMCA!

Celebrate

Your Birthday

at the YMCA!

Celebrate

Your Birthday

For more info contact Chris McCune at [email protected] or 415-446-2178.

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Santa photos with your pet!

Saturday & Sunday, November 28 and 29, Noon–3 PM

Wednesdays, December 2 & 9, 7–9 PM

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Don’t miss the teachable moments. The best

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�� FamilyWorks Magazine - November & December, �009 www.familyworks.org

Family & Cosmetic

John T. Smith, DDS915 Sir Francis Drake Blvd., San Anselmo

(across from Red Hill Shopping Center)

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Continued from page 19

development of analytical and critical thinking skills, the curriculum fosters autonomy, initiative, self-respect and the respect of others, cooperation and responsibility. In addition, by becoming bilingual, students become aware of and respect cultural differences. They are able to make informed choices about their future and are prepared for success in tomorrow’s world. Students enrolled at the Lycée Français La Pérouse ben-efit from a double curriculum, which will enable them to apply for North

American Universities and European Universities. You may visit the web site www.lelycee.org and see which Colleges and Universities have accepted our students.

The Lycée Français La Pérouse is an international community of teachers (American, French, German, Chinese, etc.), parents coming from all around the world and the Bay Area, and stu-dents of diverse social and cultural backgrounds. Most of the time, parents who are relocated by their companies to different parts of the world, choose to enroll their child in a French school, part of the “Lycée Français” worldwide network in order to ensure the continuity of his/her education.

Lycée Français Extra-curricular activities are offered on all campuses including guitar, judo, soccer, cooking, fencing, theater, piano, etc., and during the breaks and the sum-mer, Sports and Arts camps are open on Ashbury, Ortega and Corte Madera campuses. Since the Lycée Français La Pérouse acquired the old Conservatory of Music of San Francisco in 2006, the great auditorium welcomed theater and dance groups from France, conferences on History and Art sponsored by the Lycée and San Francisco Bay Accueil, a French association of expatriates in the Bay area.

Each year, events organized by the Development office are programmed:

St. Isabella SchoolDedicated to achieving the spiritual, intellectual, physical, and social growth of our students, we foster academic excellence in a nurturing, community-focused environment. Faculty specialists in science, math, technology integration, Spanish, P. E., music. educating tomorrow’s leaders in K-8th grade for over 40 years. Call Kathy Adams, 479-3727 for more information or to schedule a tour. Near Highway 101. www.stisabellaschool.org

2010School Directory

San Domenico SchoolParents: Have you ever felt forced to choose between a competitive school and a supportive one? At San Domenico School we don’t see a necessary distinction between high-achieving students and happy, well-balanced children. Find out more by touring our beautiful San Anselmo campus. Call 415-298-1905 or go to www.sandomenico.org/visit

continued from page 1�

FamilyWorks Magazine -November & December �009 ��www.familyworks.org

a picnic for the parents and staff on October 4th, a Wine Tasting at the resi-dence of the Consul General of France on November 4th, an Auction on March 19th, 2010, open to the public. Our community of parents, alumni, staff and students also work together to enrich our academic program by participating in school, community, cultural and athletic events throughout the Bay Area.

Every year, the Lycée Français La Pérouse allocates a certain amount of its budget for school scholarships and the Seona Herail scholarship. Financial aid is granted without regard to race, color, religious affiliation, national or ethnic origin. Financial aid decisions are made independently from admissions deci-sions. The Lycée Français La Pérouse is proud to offer a unique language im-mersion experience and invite you to learn more. The Admissions department schedules several Open Houses between October and May for each campus. There are also group tours available. For an application for the 2010 school year, all applications must be in by next January 15th. The Lycée has an open enrollment policy with no distinction of sex, religion or creed.

Please contact [email protected] for more information. 2009-2010 Open Houses are: Corte Madera Campus – Thursday, November 5 and Wednesday, December 9, 2009; Ashbury Campus - October 22, November 18 and December 4, 2009; Ortega Campus - October 19, 2009.

Every year, the Lycée Français La Pérouse allocates a certain amount of its budget for school scholar-ships and the Seona Herail scholarship.

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