within these gates (2013)

Within These Gates 2013

A PRODUCTION OF MAYA ANGELOU ACADEMY• A SEE FOREVER SCHOOL •

Within∙

These∙

Gates2013

Edwin

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR:

All of the poetry and artwork in this literary magazine was created by young men from Washington, DC while incarcerated at New Beginnings Youth Development Center.

4 | Within These Gates 2013 | 5

HERE I STANDBy De'Angelo

Here I stand alone15 years old wanna be grown

On all moves, waiting on the next come upHearing all these lectures, telling people to shut up

Every day is like an ocean wave, just Waiting to be washed up, feds out there being

Glocked up, females out there being knocked upBut still I’m alone in the dark with no

Light. But the red place by the jag that’sRight. Where I stand is somewhere alone

Shivering scared out my bones. Still posted upTrying to hold my own, but still where I

Stand is somewhere strong.

LIFE By Novell

Life is more than livingLife it is a processIn life to be successful Anybody can live lifeBut no one can live twiceAllah blessed us with a chanceTo live life in his worldLife is like sunshineIt shines brightSo try to do right.

LIFE By Devin

Life is answersThe phone rings but I never attempted an answerNow I’m over in the jailBut I won’t bailJail is like hellFeds don’t careI had a dream like Dr. King saidLife is weary Now my sister’s going to collegeThat’s well,Life is answers.

Erik K.


THE SHOES I'M INBy Latif

It takes a lot to be in the shoes I’m in, So much risk you’d think wearing them is a sinSo much hatred and racial profiling, It takes a lot to be in the shoes I’m inEvery step that I take could be a step to my fate, The ratio for every life they take from every shoe they make?The questions never answered I just want the shoes for show, I saved my money for these shoes it’s not that hard to save your doughYou better shoot me for these kicks before I strip like on a pole, Who would’ve thought that walking on these soles would involve the risking of my soul?Because of the skin I’m in and the shoes I’m in Is why others act towards me, Because of the shoes I’m in is why females adore meSometimes because of my skin is why I’m harassed before himSome try to curse the skin I’m in and treat my shoes like it’s a sin, Or say I sin just because of my skin and curse the shoe I’m inWhy judge me from these things?God made us all of equal menDon’t hate me, rob me, kill me, or judge me just because of what I’m in, Man I’m telling you it takes a lot to be in the shoes I’m in.

Sequan


MY TEENAGE YEARS (AN ELEGY)By CJ

I’ve spent my 16th and 17th birthdays locked upFeeling like a bird trying to be freePeople keep saying next yearYou’ll be free, just wait.But then the next year comesAnd for some reason it’s all justThe same.

Birthdays are supposed to be about meCelebrating with family, friends, and females.But when your family becomes DYRSAnd your friends other residentsAnd the females…well there aren’t anyThat makes you start to think.

RIP to two lost birthdaysJust waiting for my 18th birthdayWhen I’ll be freeNo more lost timeNo more lost yearsJust meLiving out the restOf my teenage years.

THE GOOD DIE YOUNG By Derrick D.

The good die young and the bad live for eternityNobody pays attention ‘til their good one underneath’emThen the bad becomes a teacher And all the kids follow himThen there’s always an odd-ball who tries to challenge him…That’s why the good die young.

VIETNAM By Rob

They say people die younger than meHow could it be I’m 17 and I’m as young as could beR.I.P to that dude Skinny I guess he's freeCuz my chance of making out of the hood is probablyI tell people how I feel and they say they feel sorryBut sorry for the weakI’m be what I’m beSuccess is what I wantAnd I’m going to do itFor Skinny.

Latif


PAPA WHERE ARE YOU? By Devin

Papa I never denied you?Papa I have 6 children that are doing good.

Mama told me where to find you. But you never answer.

And your friend gave me your number.I text you, call you, voice mail!Never replied back to any mail.

Now I’m doing bad.Cuz your @ction made me mad,

I’m doing bad, stupid crimes. Cuz I never had you around

I’m making my mother unproud.But I want to take her out,

To big places with a big, natural, proud familyWith a great…

Papa where are you?

MY DAUGHTER By KD

Though you aren’t bornYou are my freedom

You are my motivation and strengthI’ve been sitting here, thinking

A daughter needs her fatherSo I’m going to

Change my wrongs to rightsTo make sure you have all of theThings you need to become the

Best you can beTo my daughter,

You are all that I need.

THINKING AND TALKING LIKE MY SONBy Chris

I wake up every morning I see my sonShiningShining And every day he`sCrying,Crying Cause daddy ain't thereBut I’m still hereAlso he still isInside my heartI’m tryin ISee a tearWhen I’m playing with my sonTogether we both sharing a tearSitting up tall playing b-ballThe ladies love usBecause we shine above all I like when my son Crawls all over me Laughing so hardThat I’m happyI miss the things we use to do See him soon.

Eric H.


UNFAIR WORLDBy Stacee

This world is unfairThe government sittingBack like they are in a Lawn chair, don’t care

About the black communityThey don’t even see what the white cops

Are doing to me.See I’m a black man in the hood

So I know what’s goodI’m doing a bad thing thinking of good

Knowing I should do What’s right?

People don’t even fight no more It’s all guns and war

People knocking downPeople’s door and I’m just begging

For no more.

UNTITLEDBy Antwon

The sun wakes up tired because yesterday was longDeaths, cries, police cars running to the crime scene

The streets are crying for someone to helpStop the violence

But no one hears itThe guns yell while the bullets nail down on the enemy

Those youngins’ out thereHeartless cuz them bullets show no sympathy

This is just another day in my city.

THE GOVERNMENT By Charles

More money, more power...No care

So they lock us up anywayMore money, more power...

They see blackSo they throw us in the back of the squad car

More money, more power...No respect

Our families torn apart like a tornadoMore money, more power...Generation after generation

Nothing newMore money, more power...How do we break this cycle?


UNTITLED By Leon

Like Martin Luther King I too have a dream.Peace running through my blood like a stream. But reality is cops on my back, I gotta broken spleen. Guns aimed at me with that infrared beam. This wasn’t my dream.We killin each other not thinking bout one another. Peace on my mind but the whole time we blind.To what’s really going on. They lockin us up and throwin away the keys.They killin us in 3’s this is a genocide. But when are we gonna get it through our minds?Hopefully one day before the end of time.

Rashaw

STRESS/DEPRESSEDBy Erik K.

I can’t sleep at night because my mindWon’t rest Tired of living life dealingWith so much stress I just wantPeace tired of being depressed but asLong as I live my life will be a messHappy, sad, angry, life is a mixture of Concrete and steel.

Depression and pain heavy like a trainLoaded with metals and dirt cries like rainMy heart rains and poursLoud- like a lion’s roar.

A bull seeing red suicide missionsIn my head but I know I have to live for myBrothers Terrance and Fred.

The air I breathe is heavy like inhalingIn a smoke filled room stressed, depressed, Pain and my mind racing thinking about the Past sometimes broken and unprotected withNo cast.

Live a little longer push forward think positiveBut that’s harder to say than to do becauseWe become negative at near from the painAnd hurt I’ve been through so I feel that I’m forever in the dark.


I USED TO BE (PART 1)By Javonte

I used to be metalBut now I’m steel.

Smart, intelligent, and with good will.Hoping and praying

That my day will come, Living life under the rays of sun.

Being amazing and lookingProud, I love my skin

That’s why I say it loud.I’m not ashamed to admit

My faults because I’m a brand new car With brand new parts.With saying all of thisIt means one thing,

I bring hopeAnd joy to the ones who sing.

I USED TO BE (PART 2)By Javonte

I used to be a caterpillar But now I’m a butterflyTaking driving lessons

Through the open skiesLearning to live life and love

Despite all my trialsTaking life’s trials whileLooking dead in its eyes.

Facing fears without guns or knivesBut winning my battles with only my mind.

I’m killing hatred with How to be kind

That’s a great wayTo show your sign.

A DATE WITH MY THOUGHTSBy Derrick A.

I’m sitting with my thoughtsAlong with my memoriesWe’re discussing my futureAnd the things I wanna beLike a basketball playerMaybe a writerIf I become a Rasta.

Delonte


WHY DO YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DO?By Malik

Why do you do the things you do?My teacher asked meI still didn’t grow up from The mistakes I made down YSC

Now a few years later, I’m down Oak HillSmoking K2 crashingMaking Lean with a pill

Why do you do the things you do?The females asked meI say, Why do you always worry?Let me be freeShe listened to what I said and I pushed her awayNow I can’t bear not seeing her another day

Why do you do the things you do?My mother drilled this in my headShe say “you keep doing what you doing You gonna end up dead”

But I never listenedI just did what I wanted It’s like my common sense was the football And David Akers just punted it

Why do you do the things you do?I started to ponder that question myselfBut when they talked to me I didn’t listenI guess they just talked for their health

So now I’m mature and I know what to doAnd people are saying..Thank you for the things you do.

Marcus


MY LIFEBy Marcus

Trapped in a cellThinking about life

But see it’s not just life, it’s realityWhen it hits you, like when the cell doors slam-

BAM!

My mind wanders off when I’m sitting in English classNo longer trapped, my mind can expand

Time moves too fastWhen you’re sitting in Transitions class

Before you know itYou are sitting back in that cell

Feels like you’re sitting in the middle of hellThis is not just life

This is reality.

HER LIFEBy Paul

Put your feet in her shoesAnd feel her pain when every time

She cries it pulls down like rainHer work and family deaths would make me deranged

She sits and waits,Nothing is changing.She thinks about you,

When will her son come back?Will he be changed?Will he be a man?

To put your feet in her shoes that would be insane.

STRESS AND PAINBy Malique

Ma, I know we don’t speak enoughCause I run the streets too muchAnd post up wit’ the heater stuck

Every time I came home I know I caused you hell

Cause I know you can’t take the stress And the pain when I’m in a cell

The visit days be too much I could see your hell

I hope and pray every night that You living well

Cause any given day You could be gone awayMa, you know I love you

But I show you hellI’m just hoping and praying that the pain go away.

LIFE GOES BYBy Emilio

Time is flyin as my life goes byI look out my window but all I see is barbwire

Another day locked upThinkin and missin you even more

Sittin in my cell as da COKnocks on my door..it’s time to come out

I wipe the tears from my faceThinkin bout da long nite

I just hadUp contemplatin all niteFightin not to go to sleep

Keep picturing theNext life.


THE FORGIVENESS By De'Andre

I forgive my dad for walking out on his only sonI forgive the people who think they got overWhen they assume that I’m dumbI forgive life for dealing me this handI forgive the man who bumped meBecause he couldn’t seeI forgive…But I can’t forgive everythingBecause I’ve yet to forgive myself…

LET IT RING: THE DREAM By Lamont

I sit back and wait, I ask myself, Will she ever call?So many days of stressAnd not being able to restLets me know it’s you I needIn my lifeOnly you can fulfill My lust and happinessI miss the way you Smell, taste, and feel…It’s like every time we meet Something new always happensAnd I find myself sayingPlease, let it ring.It’s been one year nowAnd I still can’t get you back in my world.

STRUGGLE ON THE OUTSIDE By Alexander

I feel messed up at New BeginningsI just want to go home and lay on my bedAnd rest my headThink of all the bad stuff I did on the streetsI just don’t want to end up deadHope that God will help thru my predicamentSo I can have a nice healthy family that loves me.

JAIL LIFE LUCKBy Carl

Jail LifeIs like hell, right?We sittin here bidin, doin time, turnin upWhile the rest of the world is going onWith their livesVisits on weekendsSome see loved ones, baby mothers and kidsBut while you havin that visitYou start thinkin about your old life againHow you use to have it upGoin around robbin men and womenWit your men, your favorite wordWas I don’t give a—!But now you’re caught upWalking around saying you just had some bad luckKnowing that you ain’t Touching back down for another 9 to 12 months.Your jail life luck.


TAE (AN ELEGY)By KD

Tae is what the people close to him would say or call himBut no one knew he was an angel walking the earth

I got a call early in the morning When my mother and family said he really became an angel

Something that was hard to believe and even hurt

I got a chance to hold his handAnd I still didn’t believe

My father being a father and never really thereSo losing my brother was like losing my air

So one day I woke up and started to thinkAnd I noticed that the man he was

The money he hadThe cars he drove

And even some of the men that laughStill couldn’t amount to the life he had

Because at the end of the dayThe men that took his life are mad.

AUGUST 25TH

By Dominique L.

Damn why we have to end like this?I can’t wake up to a good morning text or

Call no moreYou have been gone for such

Short amount of timeAnd I still am thinking about

You like crazyI won’t love anyone like I loved you

I remember we would be together laughing,Talking, watching movies and there would be

Time we would talk about emotions thatWould put one of us in tears every time

I called you It motivated me to do what it takes

To grow up and changeBecause if I kept living my life style

I will end up dead and you will Be messed up

But now you are goneTo a better place

For the better and I knowIt’s time to change

I will always love youNo matter what.


MAY 18TH, 2013By Emilio

It was May 18th, 2013My wife gave birth

To our son, he took his last breathThen he was gone

Looking just like meEyes close, so peaceful

So precious, so harmless, so littleI never even had a chanceTo see him, to hold him

To look at him, to tell him I love himIt’s a crazy world we live in

I had so much planned for youI was going to give you the world

Now it’s crazy knowingYou’re not here with us

It’s just me and your motherLiving in ways society

On May 18th, 2013A part of me died.

DING DING DING DONG By DeAndre

Man, I remember I heardThat song busting out the doorCan I go get an ice cream cone?

I laughed at what my little brother saidNo, it’s too late for you to be outside

But he started to crySo my uncle said yeah

He got his coneAnd I told him come in the house

Bang! Bang! Bang!Everyone flooded out

I heard someone cryingI heard him moan

Looking down the streetAnd it was a rolling ice cream cone

That was the last time I talked to him.

RIPBy BJ

Rest in peace PettyIt would never be the same

Trapping outLate nights

You start the crap gameNext day after that

We would do the same thingWhen I look at your pictures

I say to myselfThat my man did his thing

I love you, homes. Demetrius


REST IN PEACE DOEBOY & KURT By Marcus

Rest in Peace2 my Fallin’ Souljas

I remember we was youngPlaying with water guns

I remember we stoleYour grandfather’s gunI remember you taughtMe how to shoot my first gun

I remember them late nights We were watching for the lawI remember them days like yesterdayI remember them days

Damn why ya`ll had to be put in the grave?I remember that your aunt and my mother Told me ya`ll was put in the grave

I remember sitting thereWowTears falling down my face Like that day we got stuck in the rain

Now all I can do is REMEMBER them daysRest in peace Doeboy & Kurt.

Stacee

Derrick D.


DC STREETS By Nate

D.C. streets is where I like to be.It helps to make me feel free.The money I make makes me happy.It is the place where people can be snappy.On the D.C. streets everybody knows me.D. C. streets loves me.Yes, they make me free!!

DA LIFE I LIVEBy Marcus

Da life I liveIt’s like a struggleBut I’m always on the hustleDa life I live It feels like I’m aloneBut I got my hand on dat chromeDa life I liveYou got to keep dat chromeIf you going to walk aloneDa life I liveIs it really a life or a struggle?Niggaz on the block trying to make a hustleDa life I live It comes with ups and downsYou got to have a plan to make it outDa life I live I live it cause it’s a hard struggleTo live in Da life I live.

REAL LIVE By Jerrell

Stress is building up.I can’t believe what’s on my mind.I feel like death could Be calling me at any moment.Oh my God !!I feel I’m about to vomit.I need to get out this worldPeople dying,Mothers crying,But I’m blind about life.It could be nice.But my mind ain’t right.

DC By Malik

The city where the going getsTough and life growing up isRough. You got babies havingBabies, young boys goingCrazy,‘cause they gotta goOut here being a stick-upKid trying to feed and clotheTheir child. But it’s only likeThat if you choose to go downThat road. Life in the city is realCity from stories I have beenTold, so stay in a good lane ‘causeYou just mightCrash.


WHY?By Matthew

Why am I living I’m asking a questionNow I feel sick all of a sudden.

It’s hard not to get mad when you press those buttonsSo I take the pain out on my arm and start cuttin’

Yes a thought of suicide its choice to surviveThat’s why I live this life of do or die.

So as I throw this knowledge with great precisionWhy is living a great decision?

So you can learn and listen and see visionsAs I go through pain it feels like I stopped healing.

Why can’t we come together and run sh#t?Instead you wanna fight over dumb sh#t?

The world is full of dumb sh#t— pull out a gun quick.If you get shot Fedz don’t even come quick.

I need to sell dope and coke so I won’t be broke,Life is like a job interview better hope you don’t choke.

I’m holding onto this rope of struggleIt’s like a play with no huddle

Don’t have no money so I ride this life shuttle.

Why do I have a hater cuz I’m greater?Maybe cuz I bring the heat like a radiator?

Cuz I don’t like losing and so I’m a winner?

I’m gettin’ smarter so you know I’m grinningI’m still asking a question why am I living?

Demetrius


I REMEMBER By DeAngelo R.

I know you can’t hear meBut I’m going to writeYour life is like a planetFilled with bright lights9:00 pm gun shots were firedBoom! Boom! Boom! Boom!You were on the ground like you were tiredYou told me to go to schoolSo I wouldn’t be a foolAnd for that I miss you fool.

ONE FOOT IN, ONE FOOT OUT By Derrick A.

Alarm clock ringingWhile your arm locating the button.Mom in the kitchen singingWhile cooking eggs for breakfast.The smell punches your noseAnd you begin to rise.Get ready for school!!Your heart raced in surpriseBreakfast is done!Flying to the stairs and noticing your socks.Hurry! Hurry! The bus is only 2 blocks.You grab a sandwichWhile mom sits smiling on the couch.Screaming, Bye Mom! While leaving the houseThe door opens. Pow! Pow!You’re laying there with 1 foot in, 1 foot out.

IN MEMORY OF ANLO By Novell

I remember when we was coolin’And foolin’And we was on 34thAnd you used to say, “it’s strayin’ time” And you used to be trippin’ And the police hop out on usAnd you was high as can beAnd you told the police to cool outAnd they slammed you And you sobered up and walked around the cornerAnd seen me and said, “Velly Vell, what’s up with you Joe?” And started making jokesBut Lo Vell missing you BrahYou forever on my mindAnd everything I do is for you.

MY LIFE AS A ROLLERCOASTER By Bernard

My life is being a rollercoasterBecause it don’t stopIt goes slowThen it goes fastI don’t know how long it going to last.

If it last for a long timeI am not going to be mad.I learned my lesson Because the stuff I didIs going to be the last time I did it.


UNTITLED By Carl

Life is like a battle in hell that you must fight.Like Mayweather and Guerra, May 4th, Saturday night.Bruises, cut and swollen eyeballsYou gotta win in life at any costStack your paper up as high as the monument wallsThen knock it over like Dominos and watch as it fallsI can’t jokeCause I could never go brokeI ain’t married to BeyoncéBut you could call me HOV.

WHAT WE CALL LIFEBy Dominique L.

Life living in the ghetto is like working In the concentration camp The upper man trying to work you To death for nothing

Life is like a referee coaching a gameThere’s going to be people guiding you So things won’t go wrong

There are a lot of obstacles in life But you must push yourself through it

There’s going to be people judging and stereotyping in lifeYou must be the bigger man or woman to move on

Life is a goal you will need to complete thingsIn order to be successful.

A TYPICAL DAY IN DCBy Erik K.

The streets sing violent songs in a melody That sounds like words but is really all humsShoes dance to the beat of police sirensGuns roaring like a group of wild lionsA typical day in D.C. for me is a cell 8 x 8With words on the wall Where the bed screams when you sleep And the ceiling seems to fallA typical day is a book that cries And opens to a page where it tells all liesA typical day is a mystery to me Because every day’s dark like blood spilled in the streets.

NIGHT By Sequan

The lights are dim,The moon sparks up from above,I look out my window into the darkness,And I see a white flying dove,The bathroom thinks,The sink sings, The clouds cannot be seen,But there is a full moon from up above, It is night fall,I have seen people’s life fall.


WHY THEM? By Tayvon

Why take away from people who need itBut give to people who don’t need it?Why them?

Why help wealthy people But look down on unhealthy people.Why them?

Why feed them who are already fullBut starve them who don’t even have a coin.Why them?

Why not take away from the rich And give to the poor?Why not build places for the poorSo at night they can go behind a door?

Why not give them money to go to the store?Why not help feed them?But instead you tease them?Why them?

PAIN By Erik K.

Pain is the book in my head that is being burnedWhile the smoke from the flame is being released into the air Causing people’s eyes to rain with perspirationPain is what makes you strongerIt turns the boy into a manIt gives him wisdom and honor And he learns from his painful past But the pain never leaves It’s here to stayPain is like being in a car accident with no seat belts or air bagsTo protect you from the impact Being stuck in the mindset That lets you feel no remorse.

FAST LANE By Jawaun

I’m in the fast laneRunning the streets night and dayI’m in the fast laneWhere teenagers don’t like to playI’m in the fast laneMoving fast as a carSwerving left to rightAs if I just left the barI’m living the fast lifeI’m in the fast lane.

James


ME, MYSELF, AND IBy De'Angelo F.

Things that I do to teach myself.Trying to read these books that are on my shelf.

I try my hardest to do my bestBy understanding who is left.

Me, me, me, me, and Nobody else but my knowledge and the heart in my chest.

Always learning, never leaving, lurking in my mindFor no reason.

The only person I thankIs myself because I’ll never make it with nobody else.

Just me free as a butterfly With beautiful wings, that shine brighter than the sun.

On the road to richesThat I just begun.

IF I COULD, I WOULDBy BJ

If I could take my family andGo to a better world than thisI wouldTrust meIf I could bring my lost friends and familyBack to this world I wouldIf I could take the guns and the drugs awayI wouldIf I could stop the killingI would.

ODE TO MY LIFE By Jawaun

Love is life.Life is everything.But everything is anything.Therefore life is what you make it.Take advantage of your opportunity in life.Life is very serious.So make it delirious.Life is important.So don’t be joking.Love is life.

Jamar


I WANT TO BE SOMETHING By Derrick A.

I want to be something So do my familyI can’t stay consistentBut I think that’s insanityIf I keep up with lifeIt can take me real farFriends can’t help All you got is youOnly way to surviveIs pride and a clueA clue about who you areNot who you want to beYou can be compared to the sunOr like a little bumble beeI want to be something.

I USED TO BEBy Muhammad

I used to be a match,Now I’m a lighter.

I used to run wild When I was a child, But now I’m a man With a beautiful daughter.

I used to be a followerIn the life of greed,Now I’m a leader Making an effort to succeed.

Delonte


BE AWAREBy Johnithen

People always tell meJay man you got them vocals and them lyrics B

I tell them thanksI hear that all the time

That’s because I got the spaceTo go and clear my mind

I stay away from drugs in my rhymesBecause I never wanna ever

Have to do timeAnd if you look me in my eyes

You can see that I constantly on my grindI see my homies standing on the blockAll day hustling tryna sell some rocks

Getting mad popping bulletsRunning from the cops

Killing all my black brothersMan this needs to stop

And all these bammas out here smoking weedBurning up they money

Spending what they don’t needPeople doing drugs just tryna be cool

I’m a tell you one thingYou better stay in school.

MOON By Reshawn

One time I was tired of beingYoung, so I wished myself into an

Old man.But I was dying

The children gathered around sayingDon't die,

Let's go out and have a good day. Look the moon is forgiving us

With another sun. But I was sweatingAnd said it is time

That log has hollowed itself outAnd waits for me.

My old spirit already has Its show.


EDITORS:Chelsea KirkMara Clark

SCHOLAR EDITORS:LeonJohnithen

A SPECIAL THANKS TO:All Maya Angelou Academy Teachers & Staff Fellow English Teachers Ms. Rem, Ms. Barbara, and Ms. McKenna Art Teacher Emily Haines Special Education Case ManagersAll Youth Development Representatives (YDRs) See Forever FoundationDepartment of Youth Rehabilitation Services

Back cover art by Raymont

Centerfold portraits by (left to right) Antwon, David, Davon, Gregory, Nate, and Sequan

No part of this publication may be reproduced without permission from the authors, artists, and editors.

A PRODUCTION OF MAYA ANGELOU ACADEMY• A SEE FOREVER SCHOOL •

Latif

within these gates (2013)

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