week 7 -unforgivenessmedia1.razorplanet.com/.../resources/696349_week7unforgiveness.pdf ·...
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Good day, Community Group Leaders! Attached is your Week #7 group material, also available at www.mccag.org by clicking on RESOURCES > COMMUNITY GROUP LEADERS It’s difficult for me to believe that we are in Week #7 of our CAGES message series. Your pastors are praying that you and others in your group are discovering freedom together as you choose to walk out of anything that has caged you in and prevented personal spiritual growth and fruitfulness as you share. We are getting into the homestretch with our series, now, so encourage your group to continue moving forward together by attending group, deepening friendships, and increasing transparency.
• I suggest that your group plan to enjoy a potluck meal together soon, perhaps during your regular group meeting time one week. You may even wish to enjoy a ‘Thanksgiving meal’ together near the upcoming Holiday.
• Please let me know about your group’s plans for a mission together. Thus far I’ve heard of a group helping out for a whole day at the farm of one of MCC’s missionary families. Another group is doing random acts of kindness around the city one day. Still others are helping with the NOC Thanksgiving meals or serving families trying to adopt children. I love the uniqueness of our groups and their passions!
• Here’s a great event your group can do together! BLESS RICHMOND is a gathering of Richmond area congregations to pray, give thanks and feed the hungry of Richmond. This citywide prayer meeting will take place Sunday, November 23rd, 6PM at U-‐Turn Sports Performance Academy, 2101 Maywill Street, Richmond. Please encourage your group to arrive between 5-‐5:30 pm in order to drop off canned foods, park and begin the event on time. Several thousand are expected to participate. Each person attending should bring some nonperishable food items for the Central Virginia Food Bank (tuna and peanut butter are especially useful).
• Hopefully your group has already determined to continue to meet after your initial ten-‐week journey together. (Many of you have already indicated that you are!) Once again, I ask you to strongly consider continuing on with your group, even if only occasionally over the holidays. Relationships take time and energy to develop but they certainly are worth the effort.
Once again, thank you for the wonderful way you are serving the great people of our church and your pastors by furthering their message agenda for these ten weeks! Your pastors LOVE this partnership that changes lives! Sincerely His and yours, Pastor Dwayne
WEEK#8 BULLETIN INSERT The CAGE of Unforgiveness Matthew 18:21-‐35 WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE?
Because I have been forgiven Because I still need to be forgiven HOW DO I KNOW IF I HAVE UNFORGIVENESS IN MY HEART? 15 looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled. Hebrews 12:15 (NKJV) Unforgiveness is an emotional stalker Unforgiveness will give you an emotional sunburn
HOW DO I LEAVE THE CAGE OF UNFORGIVENESS? Understand the moment and the journey Decide to Forgive
Even if you aren’t “there” yet -‐ Forgiveness begins with an action not an attitude
Even if they don’t ask for it
Both big and small offenses Be the bishop of your own heart
MATERIALS NEEDED: Pencils/Pens Completed message notes bulletin inserts from Sunday Bible See individual ORANGE activities for materials required.
WEEK 8 TIPS: • Please encourage your group members to consider participating in this year’s final Core Discipleship
on Nov. 16th. If they’re not already a member of MCC, why not? In addition to the Discover Membership seminar, there’s also the Person & Work of the Holy Spirit seminar, as well as a hilarious Marriage Enrichment seminar, Finding Your Purpose seminar, and the Explore Life seminar.
WELCOME/SNACKS 20 minutes
OPEN (Ice Breakers) 10 minutes Choose from among these questions or activities:
1. Share a “little thing” from your family growing up that really bothered/bugged you (e.g. the sister that hogged the bathroom, only two-‐minute showers allowed, or brother didn’t flush the toilet, etc.)
2. Ice Melt -‐ In this game, the objective is for each team to fill a cup/glass with water using only the dripping water from melted ice. Participants may only use their hands to melt the ice. (To save time – everyone can melt ice into his own cup and then add it to the “Team Cup” until one team wins. This can easily be a segue into discussing how God wants to melt our hearts towards those who have hurt us, freeing us to forgive them.)
3. Play the Ice Pass Game – See Orange pages for details.
ADULT INTERACTION OVER SUNDAY’S TOPIC/MESSAGE 35-‐40 minutes Choose from the following questions. Consider what will work best in your group. Be certain to refer to your notes from Sunday’s message as you facilitate your discussions.
1. Forgiveness can be described as letting someone off the hook or dropping the charges. Are some mistakes easier to forgive than others? Explain. Why is it sometimes difficult to forgive others?
2. On Sunday we heard: “Unforgiveness is a unique cage because it is the only cage we walk into by holding someone else captive.” What are some signs (symptoms) that we may be harboring unforgiveness in our hearts? (You blow up over little things -‐ recall “emotional sunburn” from Sunday’s message; increased sensitivity causes you to have anger and resentment toward the person when they are not around; you find yourself making a case against someone or arguing in your head; the emotion of the conflict stays fresh for extended periods of time; you enjoy telling others about the offenses; you bring up past offenses during current conflicts) To which signs are you most prone?
3. Invite a volunteer to read aloud the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant (Matthew 18:21-‐35). What truths does this parable teach us about forgiveness? (As followers of Christ, we have all been forgiven a debt that we couldn’t pay; God is a gracious forgiver; It’s easy to forget our own failures when we’re so focused on others who have failed us; If we refuse to show mercy, God will not show mercy to us; God takes forgiveness and unforgiveness VERY seriously)
How are you sometimes like the unmerciful servant? Like the king? How do you feel when you forgive others? When you do not forgive? From the parable, If we refuse to be merciful, what impact does this have on others? On ourselves? (vv. 31-‐34) (Others are discouraged, angered, and frustrated by our unjust behavior; we miss out on the grace of God that we still need; etc.) Do we forgive others so that God will forgive us, or does God forgive us so that we will have a forgiving attitude? Explain.
4. On Sunday we heard “Forgiveness is rarely a moment. It’s usually more of a journey.” What does that mean? Agree/Disagree? (Often forgiveness takes time – perhaps, re-‐releasing the offender multiple times. However, this journey always begins with a moment of decision; a moment where we say, “this is enough, by the grace of God I make a choice to forgive as Christ has forgiven me. I will set the prisoner free”.)
5. Review the three keys to leaving the cage of unforgiveness from Sunday: (1) Understanding that forgiveness is a moment and a journey; (2) Forgiving before the offender asks; and (3) Presiding as the “bishop” of your own heart – pulling up the deeply-‐rooted weeds of unforgiveness as soon as they are identified. Which of these is the most challenging for you, personally? Can you briefly tell the group an example of success in one of these areas?
GROUP RESPONSE AND PRAYER 10-‐15 minutes
LEADERSHIP TIP: CHOOSE from among these questions as you feel directed by the Holy Spirit in the moment. Remind the group that everything shared is confidential.
1. What are you finding very difficult to forgive right now? (Don’t rush this moment; be comfortable with silence. God is working in hearts so give people time to respond.) What would have to happen for you to become willing to release forgiveness in this moment?
2. On Sunday we heard that “Forgiveness begins with an action not an attitude.” That means that if we wait for a feeling to come, we may never forgive. What action is God speaking personally to you about taking with regard to forgiveness/unforgiveness?
3. What would have to happen for you to become willing to release forgiveness tonight?
4. What are some ways you can be more forgiving at home? At work? At church?
5. Invite individuals to do the PRISONER personal response activity for adults.
PRISONER (A Personal Response for Adults)
"To Forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you" -‐ Lewis Smedes
1. Write out in a brief statement a significant grievance that you have been unable to forgive.
(No one else will see this unless you allow it!) ____________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________
2. How has your unforgiveness toward that person affected him/her? Have you objectively observed the impact(s) you described or are you assuming that it is happening?
3. How has your unforgiveness affected you: Spiritually? Emotionally? Relationally (it’s effect on those closest to you)? Physically? In other ways?
4. Is your unforgiveness worth the price that you are paying for it?
5. If you decided to forgive the offender, what exactly would you say? (Briefly write out your statement of forgiveness and release below.) _______________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________
6. Are there any valid reasons for not choosing to forgive right now?
A PRAYER OF FORGIVENESS
Father God, I need your help and your insights. Today I have gained a better understanding of forgiving others and with your help, I fully forgive _____________________ from my heart. Just as you have freely forgiven me, I forgive them. Father, I ask you to forgive me for hurting others out of my own hurt and to heal my relationships with others. I pray all of this in Jesus' precious name and by whom all forgiveness and healing was made possible. Thank you for loving me in ways I'll never comprehend. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Week #8 – ORANGE Resources for Group Leaders and Parents ICE PASS
The BIG IDEA behind this game is to experience the fun of team work, but also the pain that comes when we let others down (or when they let us down). It leads easily into a discussion about forgiveness.
What you need
• You’ll need two buckets or large containers and two ice cube trays worth of ice for each team. • Teams then form lines and race to pass all the ice cubes from the front bucket to the back bucket
for each team. • Play in an area where you don’t mind getting some water on the floor. The floor (and the teams)
will get a little wet during this fun game. Rules of the game
1. Team members must always look forward at all times and cannot look back, even for a moment. 2. Each participant in the line must pass the ice cubes one at a time over his or her back to the person
immediately behind them in line. 3. If an ice cube is dropped, it must be passed forward, one person at a time under the legs of the
person in front until it reaches the beginning of the line. It then is passed back as per the normal rules.
4. The team that successfully gets all ice cubes in the back bucket wins. Debrief and Application
Award the winning team then ask the losing teams the following questions: 1. What happened during the game? 2. What were the difficulties encountered? 3. What could you do differently to be more successful if you played again? 4. If you personally dropped the ice how did you feel? How did you feel toward your team? How did
you respond? 5. If someone on your team dropped the ice, how did you honestly feel toward them? How did you
respond when someone dropped the ice? 6. Forgetting the game, now, in life, when someone “drops the ball” (or the ice!) and fails you in some
way, how do you feel toward him/her? How easy or difficult is it for you to forgive that person?
7. Upon what should we base our willingness to forgive others when they fail us? -‐ Whether or not they are “sorry”? NO -‐ Whether or not we feel particularly forgiving that day? NO -‐ God’s willingness to forgive us for failing Him so many times? YES!
READ: Colossians 3:13 "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
SOCCER AND FORGIVENESS
SUPPLIES: Sample yellow & red warning cards (cut out from next page) Soccer ball (options) – just hold it while you discuss this object lesson. Perhaps passing it to anyone who wishes to interject in the discussion.
TIP: Be familiar enough with the following to discuss this with the children. Do you like sports? What do you think is the most popular sport in the world? Most articles seem to agree that soccer is the most popular sport in the world. If you are playing or watching soccer, it is very important to know and follow the rules. How many know what this is? (Hold up the yellow card.) Even if you have never seen a soccer game, you could probably figure out that this is called a yellow card. In a soccer game, the referee holds up a yellow card to warn a player for a dangerous or unsportsmanlike play. For example, if a player tries to kick the ball out of the goalie's hands, that is dangerous. The goalie could be hurt, so the referee shows the player a yellow card as a warning not to do it again. If that player makes another dangerous play, the referee shows him the yellow card again, but then he would show him this card. (Hold up the red card.) Do you know what that means? The player is out of the game! That is pretty rough punishment, isn't it? You get one warning and then you are out! In baseball, the batter gets three strikes before he's out. In basketball, a player gets five or six fouls before he is out. The sport of soccer isn't very forgiving, is it? How many times do you think a person should be forgiven for doing something wrong? Once? Twice? Three times? If you were to ask Jesus how many times you should forgive someone, what do you think he would say? Well, we don't have to guess, because the Bible gives us the answer. One day, Peter asked Jesus, "How many times should I forgive someone who sins against me? Should I forgive him seven times?" I imagine that Peter thought he was being pretty generous to forgive someone seven times. I don't know about you, but I think I agree with Peter. To forgive someone seven times is be pretty generous. Guess what? Jesus didn't agree. Jesus answered Peter, "Not seven times, but seventy times seven." Wow! Seventy times seven! That's four hundred and ninety times. I think that before I got to four hundred and ninety I would lose count. You know, I think that is probably what Jesus was trying to get Peter to understand and he wants us to understand it too. We shouldn't worry about keeping count of how many times we have forgiven someone -‐-‐ we should just keep on forgiving. Isn't that what God does? He doesn't keep count of how many times he has forgiven us. He just keeps on forgiving.
Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?" "No, not seven times," Jesus replied, "but seventy times seven!"
Matthew 18:21-‐22 (NLT) PRAYER: Dear Father, we are thankful that you love us and forgive us without keeping count. Help us to love and forgive others as you have forgiven us. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
NOW PRESENTING: THE UNMERCIFUL SERVANT
DIRECTIONS: Most children enjoy acting in simple, impromptu plays. Direct them in acting through Jesus’ Parable of the Unmerciful Servant. Keep the lines and scene action simple and repeat the drama several times, allowing each child to play "good" and "bad" roles. This story offers plenty of role-‐playing opportunities. Divide the story into four scenes: Scene 1 -‐ the servant before the king Scene 2 -‐ the unforgiving servant demanding payment from the other servant Scene 3 -‐ the other servants informing the king of the actions of the first servant Scene 4 -‐ the unforgiving servant before the king again being punished.
THE PARABLE OF THE UNMERCIFUL SERVANT
INTRODUCTION This is a parable or a story Jesus told to teach a lesson to us. The parable of the unmerciful servant is...wait a minute! What does unmerciful mean? To have mercy is to have compassion on people that are miserable or to show love to people that are unhappy. So the unmerciful servant didn't show any love or care towards someone who needed it. Make sure you listen right to the end to find out who this unmerciful servant is...you might be surprised. This whole parable begins because of a question Peter asks Jesus. The question went something like this: "Lord, how many times should I forgive my brother or friend when he does something mean to me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered him, "I tell you, seven times is not enough but forgive them as many as seventy seven times." Then Jesus began the parable to explain.
SCENE 1 The kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted all his servants to pay him back. These servants had borrowed money from the king and the king wanted it back today. As he was going down a list of servants who needed to give him money he came to one that owed him millions of dollars. Does anyone know how much a million dollars is? It's lots of money probably enough to buy 2 really nice houses or one big fancy castle... I'm surprised the king even loaned that much money to one person! I think the servant was surprised too because he didn't have the money to pay the king back. So the king decided that the servant and his wife and children should all be sold to pay for the money they owed him. This would mean that they would be sold to someone who would make them all slaves (even the kids).
The servant knew this would be terrible so he fell on his knees and begged the king, "Be patient with me and I will pay back everything." The king had MERCY on him and told him he didn't have to pay it back and let him go. Wow! He didn't make him pay anything back and he let him go! You won't believe what happens next!
SCENE 2 The servant left the king and decided to get his own servant (#2) to pay him back for the money he owed him. When he found his servant who only owed him a few dollars he grabbed him and began to choke him. "Pay back what you owe me!” he yelled. Then his servant #2 did the same thing that he had just done. He fell on his knees and begged, "Be patient with me, and I will pay you back." But the first servant said, "No way!" Instead, he had the man thrown into jail until he could pay the money back.
SCENE 3
People heard what had happened and told the king about the unmerciful servant. So the king called the servant in.
SCENE 4 The king said angrily: "You wicked servant, I canceled all that you owed me because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your servant just as I had on you?" The king immediately threw the servant into jail to be tortured, until he should pay back all the money he borrowed.
Jesus ended the story with this final statement. "This is how your heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother with all your heart".
THE END
DISCUSS WITH THE CHILDREN: 1. What was Jesus trying to teach the people when he told the parable of the unmerciful servant? 2. How are we sometimes like the unmerciful servant? Like the king? How do you feel when you forgive
others? When you do not forgive? 3. How many times should you forgive your brother if he does something wrong to you? (unlimited) 4. What does Jesus tell us we must do in order to receive forgiveness? (Forgive others) God wants us to keep on forgiving and to have mercy on others. He forgives us all the time for small and big things so why wouldn't we forgive others just the same. It's not always easy but it's what God wants us to do!
COMING CLEAN
BIG IDEA: Use the following object lesson as you tell the story of The Unforgiving Servant from Matthew 18:21-‐35 in your own words. Be sure to point out the three following points: • A king forgives a servant’s large debt. • The servant then demands payment from a man who owes him a small amount. • The king punishes his servant for not extending mercy after he’d been given mercy.
MATERIALS: You will need 3 small bowls with water in each one, a can of pepper, and a bottle of dishwashing liquid.
Fill the bowls with water. Tell the story. Sprinkle pepper (a good amount) over the surface of the water in the first bowl as you tell about the servant who owed lots of money. The pepper will represent all the money he owed. When you tell that the king forgave him, drop one drip of dishwashing liquid into the center of the bowl. The servant owes nothing. Then use the second bowl. Sprinkle a little pepper in the center of the bowl. Tell how the servant demanded payment from the other man, even though the man owed him only a little money. Do not put the washing liquid in this bowl. Finish telling the story. Then go to the third bowl to make the application. Sprinkle pepper onto the water. Say: “The pepper represents sin. God is like the king who forgave our sins. But other people sin against us. (Give examples). If we do not forgive, our hearts hold onto those things and get full of bitterness, and we hurt inside. So God wants us to forgive others just like he forgave us. (Drop one drip of dish washing liquid in the center of the bowl.) When we forgive, it takes away all the darkness (bitterness) and our hearts can be clean, full of joy and peace.
CLEAN HEART
MATERIALS: You will need a heart page (attached) for each child, glue sticks, crayons
1. Give each child the half sheet of paper that contains Colossians 3:13 and a heart to cut out. (See next page.)
2. After the heart is cut out have children glue the heart to the center of the page using a glue stick (the heart will be pulled back up later so encourage to use just enough glue to hold it securely especially around the edges. Do not use bottled glue! It will be too messy!)
3. Tell the children when people hurt their feelings or sin against them it sometimes makes their heart feel bad toward the person who wronged them. (Have them hold the heart down as they take a crayon and begin to color across the heart to cover it all up extending onto the background paper. It might help to prevent them from tearing up the heart by coloring from the center of the heart outward.)
4. Tell them that when they choose to forgive the person that wronged them, their hearts will not feel bad anymore toward that person. (Have them pull the heart off the paper to show a clean heart.)
5. Lead the children in a time of prayer asking Jesus to help them forgive others like He forgave them.