Break out your bibs and buckets: It's time for the *Drool* Simon Vetinari Bachelor Challenge!

This is Day 3: more hot-tubbing, more SimSelves, more hot Simon!

"Hey, that tickles!" Cassidy protested, giggling as he felt Gil's breath on his neck.

"Isn't that the point?" Gil asked.

Cassidy is a spare-spawn from the Vetinari Dualegacy.Gilbert Jacquet used to live with his mother in Bluewater Village.

"Love you," said Cass, holding Gil tight. Talking to Theo had dredged up the few memories he had of his life before Pleasantview, and he wanted to be reminded of what he currently had. "Mean it."

Gil pulled back, looking at Cassidy for a moment. He might have been a Romance Sim, but that didn't mean he didn't know the right person for him when he was looking back at him with big liquid black eyes.

"Gil?" Cass asked a bit uncertainly.

"Sorry," Gil said. "I was just trying to think of another way to say it, but I guess there's not."

"I love you too."

"Things with you and Indy seem to be going well," Doc said. "I mean, it took, what, three glasses of water to cool you down?"

"The temperature does appear to rise when Indy's around," Di replied.

"Or maybe you shouldn't spend so long outside in the hot tub in the middle of summer."

"How are you and Theo getting on?"

Doc grimaced. "Conflict of Interests. I swear, every conversation ends with crankyface. Fixed it with InSim; hopefully now things will go more smoothly. I mean, it certainly wasn't like pulling teeth to get us together in the first place, right?"

Di thought back to Theo's Bachelor Challenge. "Pulling kidneys, maybe."

Doc laughed. "Maybe I should just go straight for the ear-nibble."

Doc is my SimSelf (DrSupremeNerd), writer of the Vetinari Dualegacy.Di is the SimSelf of Dicreasy, writer of the Victorian Legacy.

"Uh... Indy... You're looking a little... Um..." Cass tried to say.

"Heatstroke!" Indy said. "Totally worth it!" More than a little disoriented, he finger-gunned the ficus tree in the corner of the room.

Gil nudged Cassidy. "We could go get some heatstroke too, you know."

"Yeah, but I really don't look that good in pink," Cass said as he watched Indy wander off to a sink.

Indy is a Gen 5 Prettacy spare and Simon's uncle.

Pay attention to meeeeee! Loki howled. He was in dire need of tummy rubs.

Theo picked the cat up with a grunt and played with him; Loki began purring loudly, and rubbed up against Theo's legs when he was set down.

Theodore Harrison is from Di's Victorian Legacy. My SimSelf won his Bachelor Challenge.

"They're sorta cute together, don't you think?" Cass asked.

"There's a certain charm there," Gil agreed.

"Sorry," Doc said, nudging Loki away. "He can be a bit of a pest sometimes. But, you know, he gives good cuddles."

"He's not the only thing around here that does, I imagine," Theo said.

"Stop it; you'll make me blush."

"I'll believe that when I see it."

"I'm pretty sure we have a Bachelor Challenge we should be watching now," said Doc.

"Wanna get some more heatstroke later?" Indy asked.

"Oh, that would be lovely," Di said. "Although I hear that not getting heatstroke can also be fun."

"Yes, but with heatstroke, I get to drink a glass of water and then clean the sink and then drink a glass of water and then clean the sink and then pee and then clean the toilet..."

"We get the point," said Di.

"Oooh, hey, cat's freaking out," Indy said.

"He does that sometimes," said Cass. "Just be sure not to let any limbs dangle, or you might find sixteen pounds of Loki attached to them." He was still nursing some scratches from learning that particular lesson.

"Shouldn't we be watching the Bachelor Challenge?" asked Gil.

"Yeah, I suppose so," Cass said, holding him close.

After seeing Jamie to the cab, Simon checked his e-mail.

Back to the hot tubs, he thought. That wasn't so bad; aside from the talk of kissing, it had been rather painless the day before.

A huge grin spread across his face as he read the second item on his agenda. Chess dates? Huzzah! Chess was most certainly right up his alley.

He was less certain about the last item he was instructed to do. Two Flirts? He sighed. One Flirt had been hard enough the day before. At least he hadn't been rejected, though; he wasn't sure his shyness could handle the blow.

Simon headed from the computer room to the hot tub, intending to get the more naked part of the day's activities out of the way first. "Hot tub!" he yelled. He heard the unmistakeable sound of five SimSelves trying to hurry without seeming to hurry.

Simon Vetinari, son of Gen 5 Prettacy spare Chad and the SimSelf of MichelleFobbs, writer of the Planetary Apocalypse, is a 6/1/10/7/4 Knowledege Sim.

The super-shy spare-spawn got roped into the Bachelor Challenge because... well, just look at him. The situation puts him at odds with his one Outgoing point, but he's trying to make the best of it.

Who makes it into his hot tub today?

Pen (penguingirl0384, writer of the Penguino Legacy), still the leader with a score of 127, friends with Simon, a double-crush, and 2 bolts.

Marina (smoothiequeen87, writer of the Villainous Apocalypse), soared from fifth to third on the second day, finishing with a score of 102, friends with Simon, 2 bolts, and Simon in crush.

Lea (tlhs0 [boolprop.com]/Tlhs0 [Exchange], writer of the Barsoom Legacy and a mod at boolprop.com), solidly fourth with a score of 79, friends with Simon, and 3 bolts--currently the only three-bolter in the bunch.

Which means that the two in the backup hot tub are:

Stacie (stacilee/stacierearden, writer of Whedonberry), is sitting quite comfortably in second with a score of 123, friends with Simon, a double-crush, and 2 bolts...

...and Silvain (SilvainTheShadow/Sellan, writer of the Leo and Cooke Legacies), currently in last place with a score of 47 and 2 bolts.

Like Jamie on Day 2, missing out on being in Simon's hot tub may have just doomed her. Things will have to go very badly for Lea now for Silvain to have a shot.

"So..." Lea said, latching onto a topic that had proven successful. "Doesn't it seem like this election stuff's been going on forever?"

"I feel like the candidates have done everything but promise to come into my house, cook me dinner, and tuck me in," Simon agreed. He shuddered. "Not that I want them to do that."

"Think fast!" Marina said, sending a sheet of water at Pen's face.

Conscious of Simon's presence, Pen laughed and flicked droplets off her fingertips towards Marina.

"Simon? Maybe I haven't said this yet, but you're quite the looker," Lea said.

"Safe to say you're looking forward to the kissing, then?" Simon asked. He still wasn't sure how he felt about the prospect, but he had at least another day's reprieve before it happened.

"That would definitely be a safe assessment," Lea said with a grin.

"Something tells me that kissing is in my future," said Marina, still riding the high of her surge to third from the day before.

"Okay, Miss Cleo," said Pen. "Doesn't exactly take a genius to see that you're feeling confident. But don't forget who's winning here."

"Who knows what'll occur by the end of the day?" Lea said. "Anything could happen! You have to expect the unexpected."

"Like this?" Simon teased, splashing her.

"I didn't see that one coming!" Lea laughed.

Marina splashed Lea. "Surprise!"

Lea inhaled a noseful of water. "No fair!" she spluttered.

Lea immediately retaliated.

"Do you like museums?" Pen asked. "I love Natural History Museums. Sometimes they have penguins."

"Knowledge Sim," said Simon. "I'm pretty much a museum junkie. Art museums, history museums, cultural museums... Museum? Yes please!"

"...Sexy lamp?" Marina asked, trying to draw Simon's attention.

"What's sexy about a lamp?" asked a confused Simon.

"I... uh... Who's hungry for dinner?" Marina asked.

They exited the hot tub and headed inside. Simon planned on eating and then starting his chess dates.

He stopped off to change out of his swimsuit first, and found that his guests had already eaten and were amusing themselves. He quickly ate a plate of turkey and headed to the chess board.

Marina had been hovering, and was the first to join Simon. "Still worried about the kissing?"

Simon sighed. "Wondering if people will ever stop asking me that, actually."

"At least you're making friends, right?"

"Sure. I mean, that's really more my cousin Bee's gig, but it's better than making enemies, right?"

"And, hey, some of us even think you're quite the looker," Marina said just before her hour was up.

Lea was next. "So... kissing?" she asked.

"Enough with the kissing!" Simon replied, his shyness warring with his four nice points for a moment.

"Did you ever want to live in a big city?"

"With all those people? No thanks!"

"Have you heard that someone's remaking The Evil Dead?" Simon asked.

"It'll never be as good as the original," Lea said, keenly aware that all they'd done during her hour at the chess table was argue.

"Do you like to travel?" Simon asked Silvain, his next target.

"Well, let's just say I hope I won't have to pack any bags tomorrow," she replied.

"Does this still feel like a chore to you?"

"Not really," Simon admitted. "I'm sort of resigned to being here."

"You're doing a good job of doing the eliminations in a diplomatic way," said Stacie as Simon sat down across from her.

"Well, I definitely don't like big scenes," Simon said. "I'd rather keep the peace if I can."

"Sports fan, eh?" Stacie asked. Silvain approached the table to watch, but beat a hasty retreat when Stacie shot her the Death Stare.

"I'm a sports fan, won't deny that," Simon said, running his hand across his jaw. "I just wish I were the kind of guy who could throw a big Superbowl party or something."

When the hour was up, he headed across the room somewhat reluctantly.

Simon smiled a little as he sat down across from Pen.

"So, did you ever roll the Want to see that Cow Mascot's ghost?" Pen asked.

Simon laughed. "I guess I'm just mean enough! Seriously, I have no idea why it tried to pick on me like that."

"I can think of a few reasons," said Pen.

"I really don't get the lamp thing," Simon said with a yawn. The hour was up, and with the last of the chess dates completed, he headed up to bed.

Simon pulled Silvain into his room the next morning.

"Time for flirting, I suppose," she said, grinning.

"You'd be right about that," Simon said. "And I'm betting there'll be more tomorrow, if you're here for it."

Silvain was still recovering from flirt when she felt the Crush hit.

"I really do think you're a lot of fun," Simon said.

Silvain wondered if that was enough to keep her in the house for another day. As she left the room, she mused that she hadn't seen any little pink hearts from Simon.

"You almost look happy about this," Stacie said.

"There are worse things than having to flirt," Simon admitted.

"I think it's sort of cute the way you tell me I'm hot all the time," said Simon.

"Really?" Stacie asked.

"And you're not so bad yourself."

"As a matter of fact, I'm beginning to think I wouldn't mind you being my leading lady," Simon said.

"Now that's a part I could really sink my teeth into."

Simon winked. "And a few others, unless I miss my guess."

"I do believe that was nearly a racy come-on, Simon Vetinari!" Stacie said, feigning surprise.

"I think you'd make a great Miranda," Simon said, straight-faced.

"You're not fooling me," Stacie said. "We both know you weren't talking about Shakespeare."

"Maybe I was and maybe I wasn't. But you can't blame me for wanting to flatter a pretty girl."

"I suppose not." Stacie left Simon's room with no small degree of reluctance.

"I know I'm a Knowledge Sim, but I still enjoy being confused by you," Simon said to Marina.

"Perhaps all it takes is a little closer study," Marina replied.

"I have no real objection to that."

Simon celebrated his success as Marina got her Crush on.

"It's kinda sweet the way you've been racing to get into the hot tub with me," he said.

"I do love a good soak with a cute boy."

"So you think I'm attractive?" Simon asked.

"Do you even have to ask? You, sir, are a gorgeous hunk of man."

"I sort of think you're the same. Only, you know, the girl version."

Marina flashed him a smile as she left.

"Your hair's still very shiny," Simon said with a grin.

"And your shirt's still a great color," Pen said. "Although I don't mind seeing you without it, either."

"You don't look so bad in a swimsuit either."

"You should see me in underwear."

Simon blushed.

"This is the part where Archie would say something about seeing you in underwear," Simon said. "But I'm too shy for that."

"Shall I insert a 'black and lacy' comment of my own?"

"That's probably not necessary."

"Well," said Pen, "the 'black and lacy' part might not even be true."

"Might not be true?"

Pen smirked. "If you want to solve that little mystery, you'll just have to keep me around."

Simon watched Pen go. She was more forward than he was used to, but he wasn't entirely certain that was a bad thing.

"Wanna know a secret?" Simon asked.

"Absolutely," Lea replied.

"I'm actually really like horror movies," he said. "I always meant to watch the Raimi ouevre, but never got around to it."

"You've really never seen the original Evil Dead?"

"Nope. But the original Hills Have Eyes was brilliant."

Simon felt a decidedly un-scary feeling come over him. Lea felt the exact same way.

"I'd love to watch some creepy movies with you some time," Simon said. "There's just something about sitting in a dark room with you that seems very appealing."

"Does it have to be a dark room?" Lea asked.

"Well, I suppose I could see you better if the lights were on," Simon admitted. "But it's more of an 'atmosphere' thing."

"I certainly can't object to atmosphere," Lea said. "And there's plenty of fun to be had in the dark."

"So I've been told," said Simon.

There was still time before noon, so he and Lea headed down to join the others.

Simon snagged the free chair at the pool table. Stacie and Marina seemed to be doing well, and there was a big pot in the middle of the table.

"Mind if I join you?" Simon asked.

"Like we're going to say 'No'," said Stacie, flipping a chip off her thumb.

They played a few hands, the winners increasing the size of their lead.

"Win!" Stacie said, raking in the pot.

"Not yet!" Pen shouted from the pool table.

Simon looked at the clock and realized that it was noon. Once again, the choice was relatively easy. Although, based on his feelings for the SimSelves who were sticking around, he wouldn't be able to say that any more. He caught Silvain's attention and jerked his head away from the poker table. Sighing, she pushed her chair back.

"My time to go, eh?" she said ruefully.

"Sorry," said Simon. "But we don't seem to have very much in common. We argue a lot, and that doesn't really seem like the foundation for a solid relationship. I mean, I think you're nice and all, but if you're looking for someone to argue with, you should talk to Archie."

Silvain thought of Oddly Hot Archie. "I could definitely deal with arguing with Archie." She gave Simon a quick hug. "See you around." She arranged for a cab and headed out.

Day 3 Scores:Pen still leading with 138, friends, double-crush, 2 boltsStacie still second with 134, friends, double-crush, 2 boltsMarina still third with 128, friends, double-crush, 2 bolts

Lea still fourth with 125, friends, double-crush, 3 boltsSilvain still fifth with 96, friends, a crush on Simon, and 2 boltsNot a lot of change in standings on Day 3.

"So?" Doc asked. "How was it?"

"Simon-y," Silvain answered. "I wish I'd made it into his hot tub, though."

"That does seem to be the constant," Di said. "The bad conversation didn't help either."

"There's always Archie, right?"

Doc shrugged. "My Oddly Hot spare is Oddly Popular among the SimSelves. I have no problem throwing you his way."

"I suspect the rest of the eliminations will not be so simple," Theo said. "Not to imply that the choice to eliminate you was easy, Miss Silvain, merely that the scores of the ladies remaining are very close." He considered for a moment. "The last few eliminations were difficult, but I'm confident that I made the right decision."

"It's all right," said Silvain. "And if I leave now, no one will ask if I Want to be friends with Don Lothario. Let's just say I don't."

"Ah, Mr. Vetinari, I had hoped to speak to you," said Theo after Silvain had gone.

"You can just call me Cassidy, you know," Cass replied. "Or Cass. Or Mr. Vetinari, I guess, if you want to."

"Very well, Cassidy. Do call me Theo."

"I sort of did that anyway."

Theo decided to get to the heart of the matter. "I could not help but notice that you are..."

"Gay?" Cassidy asked. "Didn't we have this conversation already?"

"While I'm certainly relieved that you are in high spirits, that is not what is on my mind."

"Uh... Yeah, I'm happy, but 'gay' is people like me and Gil."

"Ah," said Theo. "I fear that my colloquialisms are a century out of date."

"No," said Theo, "it was the color of your skin to which I was referring. It is rather... green."

"Well, yeah," Cass said. "That's what happens when you're half-alien."

"Your mother married an alien?"

"Um... Not exactly," said Cass, wondering how to explain the situation to someone who refused to be alone in a room with his own girlfriend due to the impropriety. "First off, there wasn't any real marriage at all, just an abduction. And second, it was my dad. Men get abducted and have alien babies. The women are off the hook for that."

"I'm afraid I don't understand," said Theo, struggling with the foreign concepts.

Cass sighed. "Look, sometimes when a man and an expensive telescope love each other very much, a beam of light comes down and takes him away, and when he gets dumped out on the front lawn, he has a little half-alien bun in his oven. And then he spins it out of his plumbbob and has a little green, black-eyed baby."

"Fascinating," said Theo. "I was abducted myself once, but I was a youth, and nothing came of it." He got a gleam in his eye. "I don't suppose there is a telescope here."

Cass put his hands up. "I'm staying out of this one. Way, way out. You're gonna have to talk to Doc about it."

"I just might..." replied Theo.

Will Di and Indy get heatstroke again? Will Cass and Gil continue to be cute? Will Theo get his telescope? Who will be the next to leave Simon's BC? Stay tuned to Day 4 to find out at least one of those answers!

Go on. "Awwwwwww." You know you want to.

Simon comes down on the side of liking to flirt, in case you were wondering.