SPOTLIGHT The magazine of Offington Park Methodist Church

April 2021

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In this issue

Dawn’s Letter 3 JC’s Little Nuggets 14

Covid-19 Prayers for Others 4 Living Large on a Small Footprint 16

Spotlight on Costa Rica 6 Is it Ever OK to be Not OK? 18

Spring in the Air (poem) 7 Fairtrade 20

Kenya Update 8 Holy Week at Offington Park 21

Christian Aid Week 10 Connections Quiz 22

The Story Behind the Song 12 Knit ‘n’ Natter 22

Cover Picture Our cover picture shows the ruins of La Tour Régine, one of four Cathar castles in the Languedoc region of France near the walled city of Carcassonne. The Cathars were a heretical sect of Christians who lived in Southern France during the 11th and 12th centuries.

The castles, on a rocky spur above the village of Lastours, were built at an altitude of 300m along a rock wall just 400m long by 50m wide. This picture is taken from Cabaret Castle and shows the castles of Surdespine and Quertinheux in the background.

In the Middle Ages, the site belonged to the lords of Cabaret, who were closely linked to the followers of Catharism and the nearby villages welcomed many Cathars. The fortresses held off many attacks over several years, but in 1229 eventually fell and were rebuilt to become royal fortresses.

La Tour Régine is the most recent fortress and the smallest. It consists of a round tower, surrounded by a small curtain wall which has collapsed. The tower has three storeys and is flanked by a spiral staircase. La Tour Régine is believed to have been built in 1260 - there is no mention in history books of a tower on the site before that date.

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Dear Friends,

I wrote this letter on 23 March, a day which marked the first anniversary of the UK lockdown. On that day we were invited to hold a minute of silence at 12:00 noon to reflect on our collective loss, support those who have been bereaved and hope/pray for a brighter future. We were also invited to light a candle and place it in our window that evening. I do hope you took part in one or both of these commemorative acts.

Over the last few weeks I have been reflecting with different groups of ministers about the effects of 2020 on us personally, on our congregations and on society as a whole. We have used scripture and especially the book of Psalms to focus our reflections under the headings of Grieving, Thankfulness and Entrusting. It has been particularly helpful to many of us, and so I share it with you in the hope it might be of some help to you too.

Psalm 13 begins as a cry of grief: the writer feels alone and far from God. “How long will you forget me?” Does this resonate with how you feel / have felt in the past year? The Psalm ends, ”But I trust in your faithful love.” We move from grief to thankfulness. Psalm 105 opens with an invitation to thank God and share stories with each other. Despite the months of hardship and isolation, you might have also caught glimpses of good and blessings and seen God at work; do share them with each other.

Finally, we come to entrusting. Proverbs 3: 5-6 seems an appropriate verse to lead us into 2021. ‘Place your trust in the Eternal; rely on him completely; never depend upon your own ideas and inventions. Give him credit for everything you accomplish and he will smooth out and straighten the road that lies ahead.’

As we approach Holy Week we will experience, with Jesus, grief at betrayal, thankfulness for the care of friends and his complete entrusting of his future to God. We take just a week each year to reflect on these life-changing and challenging issues in a very short space of time.

We might do well to remember, that the process from grief to entrusting can take many months or even years to work through and if we fully embrace them, we will be changed and never be the same again.

Have a blessed Easter,

With love and prayers

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Covid-19 Prayers for Others April is here and the days are growing longer. We look forward to warmer weather, fewer restrictions and opportunities to meet up with

friends and family once again.

This month our prayers are focused on coming out of a long tunnel. Although we may still face restrictions such as masks and social distancing for months to come, we are emerging blinking into the light, eager for human contact but aware of the need to remain cautious and not so keen to please ourselves that we forget that this social blight is far from over.

For Governments worldwide We pray for decision makers as their focus moves from containment of the coronavirus to responsible lifting of lockdown restrictions. We pray that Governments across the world will offer good leadership and that society will follow any necessary ongoing restrictions with patience and perseverance.

We pray too, Lord, for those countries facing yet another wave of the virus. We pray for leaders facing calls to reopen quickly. May they act courageously to contain the spread, even though it may lead to difficult decisions, unwanted restrictions and risk yet more civil unrest.

For businesses re-opening We pray for businesses as they look ahead to re-opening, but find themselves grappling with the need for modifications to working practices and conditions in the workplace. We ask that, through You, they may find the creativity and the ability to flexibly begin to resume their work whilst keeping their workforces safe.

For the successful rollout of the vaccination programme We pray for those who continue to work at almost breakneck speed to get the vaccines into our arms as quickly as possible. We thank you for the wonders of science that have brought us to a place where we have a hope of containing this awful virus and returning to a more normal way of life. We pray for the scientists working on overcoming variants to keep us safe.

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Lord, we know how much we need our scientists, but we also know that they need time to rest and recuperate, so that they will be ready to battle the next mutation in this long fight.

We are aware, Lord, of the success of our own vaccination programme, but may we not forget that

there are many countries that are way behind and whose peoples are still very much at risk. We pray for common sense to prevail over politicking so that the life-saving vaccines are quickly and fairly delivered throughout the whole world to meet the need where it is most acute.

For those analysing data and trends We keep foremost in our minds that science will in time be our liberator, but it is also science that determines how quickly and how safely we can unlock. We keep in our prayers those engaged in analysing data, trends, variants and worldwide transmission rates. May their knowledge of the virus increase and may their understanding of it grow so that our scientists can determine the best way to restore our lives.

Finally, a prayer of Thanksgiving Lord God, You create and recreate us in your goodness. We thank you for the many ways we have found to reach out and help others during this time, and for the innovative ways we have used to maintain vital social contact with our families, friends and communities. Thank you for the ways they have changed us and the ways we think - mostly for the better. Thank you for the ways they have also changed how we see our community. As we eagerly look forward to a time beyond lockdown, keep us close to You, that we may not only listen, but hear and act upon the ways you want to restore us and recreate us. We pray that we do not cling to our old ways merely out of nostalgia or tradition, but recognise the importance of pruning to bring forth new fruit.

In this time of preparation for what we hope will be a return to some form of normality, help us to retain and develop the flexibility we discovered in lockdown, that we too may bring forth new fruit and be ready for the harvest. Amen

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The Central American country of Costa Rica borders Nicaragua and Panama, and is home to roughly 5m people. It is about 20% of the size of the UK. The official language is Spanish. English is also widely spoken among the

population, where literacy rates are approaching 98%. Belief in God is also very high, but only half of believers attend church, so engaging people in the Gospel is the main challenge.

With high literacy rates, online tools to reach people in their homes have been developed to promote Christian living and encourage people to seek a purpose in their lives. Take-up of the tools averages around 200 people every day.

Like many other countries that depend on tourism, Costa Rica has been severely impacted by Covid-19, which has caused high unemployment, uncertainty and anxiety. Please pray for the success of the online tools and for the return of the tourists that the nation is so dependant upon.

Spotlight on

COSTA RICA

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SPRING IN THE AIR

Take a deep breath of the fresh Spring air And listen to birds singing everywhere. Spring flowers, birds singing, will make us smile— Something we may not have done in a while

After a cleansing Springtime shower, We witness a rebirth of nature’s great power As she spreads before us her Springtime buffet And lambs in the fields run and gamble and play.

Leave trails of laughter behind as you run And count your blessings one by one. Open your heart and let the sun shine in Breathe deep, feel the spirit of God within.

Another long winter we have withstood The Springtime breezes now feel so good. Open the windows, feel the warmth of the sun Hold love in your heart, embrace everyone.

It’s a time for renewal, Spring in the air, Time to be free and let down your hair. This moment we never again can replay So put on a smile and greet the day.

CHURCH ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING (AGM) You are warmly invited to the Church AGM on Sunday 18 April at 12:00pm (straight after the morning service).

This is your opportunity to have your say about church matters - don’t lose it!

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Reaching Abandoned Places and Forgotten People

(keeping Kenya in our hearts and minds) Hello everyone, I hope you are all holding on through this last section, before we can all gather together again. A second Easter in

lockdown isn’t what we hoped for, but in the distance the dawn is definitely breaking … and the days are getting longer!

In our community in Kenya, a cholera outbreak caused by contamination of the drinking water and poor sanitation has taken the lives of four children and made countless others ill.

I had no idea Beth didn't have running water. I assumed that, given she had a phone and electricity, mains water would also exist, but it doesn't. She uses rainwater in the rainy season and boils river water in the dry season.

Even as I write this, Beth is on her way to the hospital in a crowded vehicle with two more children from the school - one of whom is sponsored by a member of our own congregation - and a number of adults. This is a real problem and very close to the heart of our own community. Please consider what you can offer to help. The school’s water supply is contaminated and urgent help is needed to help them access clean, fresh and safe water and to build more toilets to help improve sanitation.

A Kentank 5,000 litre leakproof water tank (pictured) costs just $350 (£300) including money transfer charges. It costs £40 to fill with fresh water. If we as a church community could fund at least one of these tanks, the children could access clean water until the outbreak is contained.

As you will have gathered, the Kenyan Government does almost nothing for people in rural villages, so Beth went to the Chief to ask for funds to build toilets. She had a plan, a builder and a modest request for resources, just $350 (£300). He was not much help and Beth told me she was heartbroken.

I used the Kenya Connection UK page to put the call out, and told Beth to start work in hope and belief.

Breaking Ground

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My dear friends quickly raised enough money for a communal toilet to be started. Every bucket of earth has to be hand-moved and the picture here shows Beth with the pulley frame used to haul up buckets of soil from the trench The building of metal and wood frame will have three doors for three cubicles.

We now hope to start a second toilet block – another twinned toilet where we will see the lives of people being changed - and I would be so glad if the Offington Park community could fund it.

Each toilet can be used by six families, and will last for 15 years. I want to put a water container outside. If people wash their hands after using it, health will improve dramatically. At the moment, these families are using a bucket as a toilet and emptying it in the forest.

In other news, Abigael, the young mother who cares for her orphaned siblings, is attending a tailoring course. When qualified, she will earn enough to support her family, and her siblings can attend school one at a time. All the sponsored children are attending school, and we have high hopes that Beth’s sewing project, that will give work to many women and provide sanitary towels to girls locally and further afield, will soon find funding. Some young people suffered with malaria so we bought treated mosquito nets as well as medication.

Please get in touch if you would like to be part of this wonderful initiative, I will be so glad to hear from you.

You can contact me by calling or emailing the Church Office (details on the back page)

You can also follow us on https://www.facebook.com/Kenya-Connection-UK-101932874881123.

Thank you.

Hazel C

Marking Out for Building

Beth at the Pulley Frame

Toilet Floor in Place

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COLOUR QUIZ ANSWERS

The focus of Christian Aid Week 2021 is on ‘Standing together against the Climate Crisis’.

Climate chaos is one of the greatest injustices we face, and together we can STOP the crisis.

Droughts are now more frequent and more intense due to the climate crisis. Rose and her

family, and millions of people in Kenya, are struggling to get enough food and water. Your gift could help a community build an earth dam, so when the rains do come, they will have the water they need to live. People like Rose need every last drop to survive the drought.

Christian Aid is looking to hold virtual events to connect with neighbours near and far, and proposing individual challenges such as the 300,000 steps challenge to help supporters raise vital funds whilst also getting fit!

Nearer Christian Aid Week we will let you know what arrangements we can make to collect money and any activities we may be able to undertake. Please watch the weekly notices and May’s Spotlight for more details.

EVERY ENVELOPE. EVERY GIFT. EVERY CHALLENGE CAN CHANGE LIVES.

10 - 16 MAY

1. White 16. (A Study in) Scarlet

2. (Dr) Black 17. (John) Brown

3. Green 18. Blue (Peter)

4. Orange 19. Sepia

5. Purple 20. Black Gold

6. Grey 21. Blue and White (Nile)

7. Pink 22. Yellow

8. (James) Brown 23. Black

9. Silver 24. Red

10. Lemon 25. (Royal) Navy

11. Emerald 26. Violet (Beauregarde)

12. Cardinal 27. Olive

13. Blue 28. Ebony and Ivory

14. Green 29. (Harry) Lime

15. Red 30. Cornflower

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1 9 7

6 5 9 1

3 1 5

7 3 8 9

4 5 6

7 8 3

9 8 5

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6 7 1 2 9 3

SUDOKU (medium difficulty)

ARITHMAGON

Can you work out which numbers go in the empty circles? The numbers in the square boxes are made by adding together the numbers in the circles either side.

But beware!

The numbers must also add up on the other edges, making this more difficult than it first appears.

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HOW GREAT

THOU ART

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God to Thee How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

From a 19th century Swiss poet to Ukrainian missionaries to a singing cowboy, this is the improbable story of one of the world’s best-known hymns.

In terms of popularity, “How Great Thou Art” is largely viewed as second only to “Amazing Grace”. Covered by everyone from Elvis to Carrie Underwood, the beloved hymn didn’t start its life as a song. No - it began as a Swedish poem borne out of a storm!

In 1885, Carl Boberg, a Swedish editor and future politician, was walking home in the town of Monsteras when a thunderstorm started. Lightning flashed and thunderclaps shook the air, sending Boberg running for shelter.

Once Boberg arrived home, he opened his windows to let in the fresh bay air, and the vision of tranquillity that greeted him stirred something deep in his soul. Thrushes sang in the clear sky the resonant knell of church bells sounded in the distance. With the juxtaposition between the roaring thunderstorm and such bucolic calm as background, Boberg wrote “O Store Gud”, the poem that, through a winding series of events would become “How Great Thou Art.”

In the first decade of the 20th century, “O Store Gud,” which translates literally to “O Mighty God,” was translated into German and then Russian. The first English language version, which appeared in 1925, however, is a far cry from the song we know today. It took another quarter century, a British missionary, and a new translation before the song developed into its now recognizable form.

In the early 1930s, Stuart K. Hine, an English missionary, heard the Russian version of “O Store Gud” while in the Ukraine. For years he and his wife sang the song with locals before he finally translated it into English with the title “How Great Thou Art.”

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Hine published his English translation alongside the Russian version in Grace and Peace, a magazine that he published and was circulated to missionaries in over 15 countries. The story of “How Great Thou Art” might have ended here, in relative obscurity, were it not for a British-American theologian traveling to India, a singing cowboy, and a popular American evangelist on a self-described crusade.

When J. Edwin Orr, a British-American theologian / evangelist, heard an English version of “How Great Thou Art” sung by a Naga choir from the state of Assam in north-eastern India, he was so impressed that he brought the song back to America and had it performed at a conference for college students where he was speaking.

Attending that fateful conference were the children of Tim Spencer, a singing cowboy, actor and owner of Mana Music, a Christian music publisher. He bought the rights to the song and then did what all good publishers do - started promoting it! With Mana Music’s backing, in 1954 the song eventually landed in the hands of George Beverly Shea, famed soloist in Billy Graham’s travelling Crusade. Graham reportedly loved the song and made it his evangelical crusade’s signature song. Given Graham’s reach, Shea all but introduced the song to the nation. He sang it live on radio, and in person at nationally televised events like the 1957 Madison Square Garden Crusade. This Crusade ran for 16 weeks and was viewed by an estimated 96 million people.

Then came Elvis. Although not the first to record the song, Elvis’ restrained studio version from 1967 and his slightly looser live version from 1974, are generally considered the canonical versions against which all others are compared, though many people today think first of Carrie Underwood’s 2011 rendition.

Whatever your favourite recording, when we reflect upon the combination of chance encounters and serendipitous occurrences that birthed “How Great Thou Art” and brought it to prominence, it’s hard not to be awed by the improbability of it all; fate, sheer luck, God’s grace, call it what you will, the path from “O Store Gud” to “How Great Thou Art” is nothing if not unlikely.

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JC’s LITTLE NUGGETS

A Thrilling Find!

New Dead Sea Scroll fragments have been discovered in the

Judaean desert – the first find in 60 years. Israeli archaeologists say the fragments are at least 2000 years old.

The famous Dead Sea Scrolls are ancient Jewish religious manuscripts that were first found accidentally by shepherds in 1946 in the Qumran desert Caves to the north of the Dead Sea. It’s thought they were stashed away for safekeeping during the Bar Kokhba revolt almost 2000 years ago. This was a revolt of Jewish people living in the Roman province of Judea against the Roman occupation, thought to have happened in 132-136 AD.

The ancient parchments contain versions of the Hebrew bible, rules, calendars and even astronomy observations.

The discovery was made in a dangerous cave known as the “Cave of Horror”. According to the Israel Antiques Authority (IAA), the cave is “flanked by gorges and can be reached only by rappelling precariously down the sheer cliff.”

The new scroll fragments feature Greek translations of the books of Nahum and Zechariah that are in the Book of the Twelve Minor Prophets. Experts have been searching caves in the Judaean Desert since 2017 in a mission to find any more scrolls before they could be stolen by treasure hunters. Researchers worked over an area of 80km and stepped into caves that may not have seen humans for 2000 years. They found a number of other artefacts including a mummified child thought to be around six millenia old, and an ancient basket. John Carr

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Be still and know that I am God Psalm 46:10

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LIVING LARGE ON A SMALL FOOTPRINT

As we look forward to regaining some of the freedoms that have been curtailed of late, how do we ensure that we are part of a ‘spiritual reset’ and don’t go back to being selfish and uncaring about the planet? This is how we got to where we are now!

Is it really possible to live a completely green life where all our waste for a whole year could fit into a one-litre pot? Yes it is. This has already apparently been achieved by the creator of blog site Wasteland Rebel. Read on for some of her thoughts on how to live large on a small footprint.

As non-essential shops re-open and we flood back to the clothing stores, let’s have a think about what we are buying.

Go vintage: try shopping second-hand and vintage, going to your local charity shop. You can also buy on sites like eBay.

Buy less: if you can, just not shopping at all is a really great way to cut down. Embrace what you already own and what's already in your wardrobe. 'Loved clothes last’ is a great phrase to use.

Look for eco-friendly materials: Look out for more natural fibres - cotton, not polyester. Not only do they feel a lot nicer when you wear them, but don't contain things like microfibres that go into our water and into marine life when we wash our clothes.

Learn to DIY: Learn how to hand-sew and stitch up a hole. Or if you have a pair of ripped jeans that are becoming a bit too ripped, you could always cut them and keep them as shorts."

Many of us are looking forward to restaurants re-opening and to being able to eat together again with our families and friends. Let’s think about what we are consuming here too.

Eat as locally as possible: if you're eating, say, soya beans that are shipped from China or bananas that have been shipped from Colombia, that's not as sustainable as if you're eating apples grown in Kent. Support your local farmers' market, and

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you'll also be supporting more low-scale food farming which tends to be kinder to the Earth.

Eat as seasonally as possible: tomatoes grown out of season in the UK will have been grown in some huge greenhouse that uses a massive amount of resources to basically fake the weather. Look for food that is locally grown (e.g. Sussex) and in season.

Think about packaging: of course there are shops where you buy unpackaged food. But you can also make better choices by buying unpackaged fruit and vegetables at the supermarket and other regular shops or opting for widely recycled packaging such as cardboard and cans instead of plastic.

The other freedom people are looking forward to is the ability to travel again, especially abroad. Let’s think about those journeys before we jet off somewhere.

Europe (for example) is relatively small and has generally inexpensive and reliable train services. Why not take the train whenever we can and be more conscious of trying to fly less?

Pack sustainably: In need of new luggage? Consider a second-hand suitcase - something that is already made, and probably cheaper too. Pack for only what you will use (for instance toiletries where you might get away with just soap, small bottle of shampoo, razor and toothbrush). Try not to buy or leave items that will just add to plastic waste in another country.

Plan where you eat: Do some research beforehand. Look out for restaurants that say they are ‘eco-friendly’ and support local producers as well as maybe composting their waste.

Stay Local and have fun: visit places where the main attractions can be explored on foot, or try renting a bike. This allows you to discover little streets and areas off the beaten track. Pick a hotel in the midst of your researched ‘highlights’ and talk to hotel staff – you’ll find the best spots and get all the hidden gems.

There is life after lockdown – let’s try to make the most of our freedoms when we get them back, but let’s also look after the planet by making our lives as green and sustainable as we can.

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IS IT EVER OK TO BE NOT OK? Admitting weakness

Paul said: “If I must boast, I will boast in the things which concern my weakness” (2 Cor. 11:30).

So does Paul mean he wanted everyone to see how pathetic and helpless he was? Did he want to draw attention to his failings publicly?

Actually Paul’s goal was to draw attention to how great God is.

By being able to admit his shortcomings, Paul could direct others to the power and love of God being the foundation of his life. Paul wanted people to know that they didn’t have to just cope on their own when things were bad or they felt helpless.

By showing his reliance on God (and also, then, showing his own weaknesses), Paul showed that there is strength and provision available for weak people.

Paul was saying that it is OK to not be OK, because God is the only one who can truly provide all we need. We can’t do it on our own; we weren’t designed to.

Trying to cope on our own will only end in pain and more helplessness.

It is hard to admit our weakness though. Maybe we can say things like: “I’m no longer the athlete I once was” or “I’m a little heavier than I used to be”.

These are ‘safe’ things to admit. But admitting deeper weaknesses threatens our self-image. We don’t want others to look down on us or judge us.

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When we face problems or weakness, we tend to react in one of two ways: negatively (“I quit”, “I’m not up to this” or “This is just impossible”) OR positively (“I’ll work through this”, “It’s up to me to fix it” or “I can handle this”)

Maybe surprisingly, neither response is correct. You see, either way, we are focusing on ourselves and what we can do, not on God and what He can do. The difference for Paul was that he used his weaknesses and difficulties to focus on God, rather than himself.

Recognising weakness isn’t about admitting defeat or saying we need to do better. Recognising our weakness allows us to give control of our lives over to God. He knows what is best for each one of us, and He knows what He wants to achieve through the weaknesses we all struggle with.

So what difference does relying on God’s strength make in our lives?

Next month: God’s Power

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WHAT IS FAIR TRADE?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU?

Fair trade means so many different things to so many different people.

For landless women in Honduras whose husbands have all fled north to avoid the drug cartels, it means an economic alternative to decamping to the slums where they and their children risk human and/or sex trafficking.

For a concerned consumer in Britain, it offers one small, anonymous opportunity to show solidarity with poorer communities in the developing world.

For an international trader moving hundreds of containers of raw materials a day, it means yet another certification process that needs to be completed.

For the small indigenous community picking wild tea in the golden triangle around Thailand and Laos, it is an alternative to harvesting opium.

For the committed volunteer trying to explain that international trade is unjust, it is a handy tool to make very complex issues approachable and understandable.

To many individual children, particularly girls, who have grown up with the benefits of education in their communities, it offers an escape from grinding poverty.

For some communities, it has meant the chance to invest in alternative money-making schemes to minimize the risk of 100% reliance on cash crops.

Lesley Skinner

SUM FLOOD! As the animals left the Ark, Noah spotted two vipers still huddled together in a corner. He said to them, "Why are you still here? You were told to go forth and multiply". They replied, "We can't. We're only adders".

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(short reflection)

(short reflection)

(short reflection)

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CONNECTIONS QUIZ The answers to the below ten questions all have something in common. Can you find the connection?

1. Which 1984 film starred Robin Williams as an Eastern Bloc concert musician who defects while in Bloomingdales department store in New York City?

2. What was the Christian name of the Queen Consort of Spain during the reign of King Carlos I?

3. How is the vegetable Brassica Oleracea better known?

4. Which former footballer has presented Homes Under The Hammer since 2015?

5. Which composer, born in Russia in 1888 and named Israel, wrote 'God Bless America' and 'There's no business like Show Business?

6. Which character was expected to marry Juliet in Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet?

7. Which agreement, signed in March 1957, established the European Economic Community?

8. What was the name of Rupert Rigsby’s black and white tomcat in the TV series ‘Rising Damp’?

9. Which American author wrote the novels 'White Fang' and 'The Call of the Wild'?

10. Which popular poultry dish was believed to have been created at the Russian Merchants Club in the early 20th Century?

KNIT ‘n’ NATTER: still knitting and nattering! We haven’t been idle during lockdown! As well as our own individual projects of blankets, baby items, angels, poppies, teddy bears etc, we have produced 65 Easter baskets (each containing a small egg) which will be given as gifts to Avon Manor Dementia Home (where Dorothy B is a resident) at Easter. There’s enough for all the residents and the staff.

A few of us have met via Zoom during the last year, but we are so looking forward to the day when we can again meet in person. If you’d like to join us (you don’t have to be a Church member), please contact me via the Church Office. Joy G

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Offington Park Methodist Church, South Farm Road, Worthing,

BN14 7TN Tel: 01903 205722

Email: office@offingtonpark.org.uk Web: www.offingtonpark.org.uk

NEXT EDITION

Copy Deadline Publication Date

Friday 23 April Friday 30 April

Please submit material for the next edition to the Editors at:

offingtonspotlight@gmail.com

It was the first day of a new school year and the School Administrator was taking down the personal details of each new pupil.

“What is your father’s occupation?”, she asked one new boy.

“He’s a magician”, said the boy.

“A magician, eh?”, said the Administrator. “That’s interesting. What’s his favourite magic trick?”

“He likes sawing people in half”, the boy replied.

“Gosh! That’s amazing!”, said the Administrator. “Now, next question: do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“Yes”, said the boy, “I have one half-brother and two half-sisters!”