YOUR N A K E D LAWNOTHERS LAWNSARE JEALOUS

THEGRASSNEXT DOORTAMING NAUGHTYST. AUGUSTINE

YOURMOWER

& YOUDON’T PICK UP

A CLINGYMOWER

FINE FESCUE

MEET THE DOE OF YOUR DREAMS

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AP

ING

MEET THIS MONTH’S LAWNMATES

YOUR N A K E D LAWNOTHERS LAWNSARE JEALOUS

THEGRASSNEXT DOORTAMING NAUGHTYST. AUGUSTINE

YOURMOWER

& YOUDON’T PICK UP

A CLINGYMOWER

FINE FESCUE

MEET THE DOE OF YOUR DREAMS

SC

AP

ING

MEET THIS MONTH’S LAWNMATES

$6.99 US $7.99 CANlawnscaping.com MAY 2011

Lawnscaping 2Lawnscaping 3

We wanted to take a moment to talk about thatch, thatchers and thatching.

This is a term that’s not used everyday but here at Lawnscaping we believe in keeping things classy. Thatch is found directly below your grass line. It is the accumulation of grass trimmings, roots and debris. It can protect infant grass, but smother adult blades.

A thatcher is someone who works with the thatch. Removes it when needed, spreads it to where it needs to go. So why bring the word back into our everyday vocabulary? Aside from being essential to lawn care, it’s a delicious word that describes everyone who picked up this magazine.

There’s something dirty about thatch. It hides in the shadows. It can be warm or cool. Slightly dangerous yet a comforting blanket when you need it. That sums up Lawnscaping perfectly.

Enjoy the issue, and appreciate some thatch.

Sincerely,

John N. Kemp & Deere Deer

editors’ note

it’s always time to mow.

mowex.com

WELCOME TO ANOTHER ISSUE OF

LAWNSCAPING

Dear Oh Deer

LAWNSCAPING 10

In the last few weeks we have received many calls on the show regarding other types of deer and I think I need to clear some issues up. I am a North American White Tailed Deer and proud of it. I have been called a deercist before, but I think what people don’t understand is that the differences between deer, is quite different from the differences between people.

Take for example the Moose. The mongoloid of our species. Mooses, Moosi, I don’t even know what the plural for moose is. Female moose are called cows, seriously you have something that’s technically a deer that’s called a cow, and looks like a freak. They have furry curved antlers, what good will those ever do? It’s like putting stuffed animals in a cannon what’s the point?

On the other end of the scale the Púdu is known as the worlds smallest deer. These things only get to be 17 inches tall. They are in danger of loosing their natural habitat, which makes sense because they are too short to defend themselves. Let’s face it given their size they are going to be turned into a house pet if they aren’t careful.

Chinese water deer, I know I have made mention of Reindeer being a little backwards, but these deer take it to a different level. Instead of having a proper rack of antlers, water deer grow fangs. Seriously fangs. Large tusks jutting from their mouths have resulted in them being known as vampire deer. However these posers never let on about the truth. The only vampire deer known was staked years ago back in the mid seventies.

Deercism is a problem and I want to assure you that

I judge people on their personality first and

usually their lawn second.

Take my cousin Jeremy, he’s a Jackalope. My Uncle got drunk, one thing led to an-other and he married a rabbit in Vegas. However, the two are still together, so good things can come from mistakes. Now a rabbit-deer hybrid may be scoffed at, but I assure you I only have problems with Jeremy because his new wave hippy ideals led him to tearing up his lawn replacing it with a rock garden. What a disgrace.

MEET THE

DEAR DEERE ON DEERD E A L I N G W I T H A N T L E R E N V Y

LAWNSCAPING 13