ice candy man - literary theory and criticism...distinguished international writer bapsi sidhwa...
TRANSCRIPT
BAPSISIDHWA
Ice-Candy-Man
PENGUINBOOKS
Contents
AbouttheAuthor
PraiseforBapsiSidhwa
Dedication
Chapter1
Chapter2
Chapter3
Chapter4
Chapter5
Chapter6
Chapter7
Chapter8
Chapter9
Chapter10
Chapter11
Chapter12
Chapter13
Chapter14
Chapter15
Chapter16
Chapter17
Chapter18
Chapter19
Chapter20
Chapter21
Chapter22
Chapter23
Chapter24
Chapter25
Chapter26
Chapter27
Chapter28
Chapter29
Chapter30
Chapter31
Chapter32
Acknowledgements
Copyright
PENGUINBOOKS
ICE-CANDY-MAN
DistinguishedinternationalwriterBapsiSidhwalivesinAmericabuttravelsfrequentlytotheIndiansubcontinent.Shehaspublishedfivenovels:AnAmericanBrat,CrackingIndia,PakistaniBride,TheCrow-EatersandIce-Candy-Man,andhasbeentranslatedintoGerman,French,ItalianandRussian.
AmonghermanyhonoursSidhwareceivedtheLilaWallace-Reader’sDigestWriter’sAwardin1994,theUSNationalEndowmentfortheArtsgrantin1994,theSitara-i-Imtiaz,Pakistan’snationalhonourinthearts,andtheLiBeraturepreisinGermany.SidhwahasalsoheldtheprestigiousBuntingFellowshipatRadcliffe/Harvard.
Sidhwa,whowasontheadvisorycommitteetoPrimeMinisterBenazirBhuttoonWomen’sDevelopment,hastaughtatColumbiaUniversity,UniversityofHoustonandMountHolyokeCollege,andcurrentlyholdstheFannyHurstpositionatBrandeisUniversity.
Ice-Candy-Man(aNewYorkTimesNotableBookoftheYearandaQualityPaperbackBookClubselection),hasbeenmadeintothefilm1947—EarthbynotedCanadiandirectorDeepaMehta.
PraiseforBapsiSidhwa
‘BapsiSidhwadealswiththepartitionofIndia,asubjectasharrowingastheHolocaust.Beforeourdisbelievingeyes,sheperformstheremarkablefeatofbringingtogethertheribaldfarceofParseefamilylifeandthestarkdramaandhorrorsoftheriotsandmassacresof1947.
‘Shehasachievedtheimpossiblethroughonemasterlystrokecreatingachild’sworldofhomeandgamesintheparkamidstamotleycompany.Atthecenterofthisworldisthechild,Lenny.Forallthatshebearsthebitterburdenofhistoryonhereight-year-old-shoulders,Lennyisnotallowedtobecomemerelytheembodimentofanabstractidea.Sidhwa’striumphliesincreatingcharacterssorichinhilariousandaccuratedetail,soaliveandactive,thatlongafteronehasclosedthebook,theycontinuetoperformtheirextraordinaryandwonderfulfeatsbeforeoureyes.’
—Dawn
‘IfyouwishtorelivetheLahoreofthe’40sand’50s,gonofurther.InIce-Candy-Manthetaleistoldwithskillandcraftsmanshipunrivaledinthesub-continent.’
—She
‘Sidhwa’shumourcomesinpungentone-linersandherstyleishighlyvisual.’
—IndiaToday
‘Sidhwacapturestheturmoilofthetimes,withabrilliantcombinationofindividualgrowing-uppainsandthecollectiveanguishofanewlyindependentbutdividedcountry.Sidhwa’swork—particularlythedehumanizingeffectsofcommunalismshemovinglyrevealsinIce-Candy-Man—ispainfullyrelevanttoourpresentdayIndia.’
—EconomicTimes
‘Itmaybethattheatrocitiesof1947arebestseenthroughtheinnocent,naïveeyesofachild,whohasnoHindu,MuslimorSikhaxetogrind…Lennyisfreebothfromtheprejudicesofreligion,andfromtheprejudicesagainstwomen,andtheconstraintsshewillbesubjecttoasshegrowsolder.Theauthorialvoice(is)apowerfulvoiceofhindsight.’
—RalphCrane
‘BapsiSidhwacannotbeeasilylabeled…ShecannotbecategorizedasjustaPakistaninovelist,sheismuchmoreversatile.“LameLenny”canberelatedtoOscarofGuntherGrass’sTinDrum.Therearebooksaboutboysgrowingup(MarkTwain’sHuckFinn),howeverSidhwa’snovelisuniqueasitestablishesthegirl-child’spointofview.’
—R.K.Dhawan
‘Sidhwa’sevocationofaLahorechildhood,seenthroughtheeyesofaprecociouschildcalledLenny,isassweetandenticingasthepopsiclesthattheheroofhernovelsells.ItisapassionateaccountofPartitiontoldthroughthecoolingmistsofParsihumour.’
—Parsiana
‘LennycanbecomparedtothepersonathatChauceradoptsinhisProloguetoTheCanterburyTales,renderingcredibilitybybeingalmostapartofthereader’sconsciousness…Withthewonderofachildsheobservessocialchangeandhumanbehaviour,herpersonaasourceofsharpirony.’
—NoviKapadia
‘Sidhwa’sIce-Candy-Manisaboldexperimentinnarrativestrategiesandtime,inwhichtheunspeakablehorrorsofcommunalviolencearetoldmainlyfromalittlegirl’spointofview.’
—TimesLiterarySupplement(TLS)
‘Inthisrich,originalnovelSidhwacontrives,withoutfakenaïvete,totellthestorythroughtheeyesofasharp,inquisitiveeight-year-oldgirlLenny,whohasacrippledfootandiscaredforbyabeautifulyoungAyah.LennyisestablishedsofirmlyasatruthfulwitnessthatthemountinguneaseinLahore,theriots,firesandbrutalmassacresbecomerealthroughthechild’sexperience.Thecolossalupheavalofpartition,whencitieswereallottedtoIndiaorPakistanlikepiecesonachess-board,andtheirfrightenedinhabitantswereoftensavagelyuprooted,runslikeanearthtremorthroughthisthoughtfulnovel.’
—SylviaClayton
‘Withskillandsympathy,andadelightfulsenseofhumour,BapsiSidhwashowsthesmallgirlLennygrowingupincomfortandtranquillity.Thebook’smanycharactersallcometoexuberantlife,exhibitingtheoddtastesandunpredictablebehaviourofrealindividuals.’
—LondonMagazine
‘Sidhwa’sRabelaisianlanguageandhumourareenormouslyrefreshing,especiallyinthecontextofmodernIndianfiction,whichhastendedrathertowardstheprimandstilted.InIce-Candy-Man,asinherpreviousnovels,shesucceedsintransmittingintoEnglishmuchofthespiritofPunjabilanguageandculture,whichisnothingifnotearthy.Butherproseisalsobothdelicateandpreciseinitsimageryanddescriptions,withwordschosenascarefullyaspiecesofinlayinamarblewall.’
—TheLiteraryReview
‘LikeallSidhwa’swork,thenovelcontainsarichundercurrentoflegendandfolklore.ItcombinesSidhwa’saffectionateadmirationforherowncommunitywithacompassionforthedispossessed.Herownchildhoodmemoriesgivethenovelfurtherdepthandresonance.’
—TheOxfordCompanionToTwentieth-CenturyLiteratureinEnglish
‘Afluent,fastmovingnarrativeofwitandwisdom.’
—IrishTimes
‘Abornstoryteller,anaffectionate,shrewdobserver…shewriteswithauthorityandflair.’
—NewStatesman
‘Ice-Candy-Manisextremelytaut,highlysensitiveanditsheart-rendingrealismisbestbroughtoutwiththefamiliarelements.Thetreatment,muchtothefulfillmentofthereader,isnotonlydelightfullydifferentbutalsoinimitablyexclusive…Sidhwa’ssomewhatJoycianinsightintochildpsychologyandkeenobservationofchildbehaviouriswhatmakesthebooksocompellingandvirtuallyunputdownable.’
—Miscellany
‘ThebrilliantlycreatedIndiancharactersinthisnovelaremadewitharealface,thatturnsattimesintoamaskofhorrorandatothersintoapealoflaughter…Ofallthemarvellouspeoplebroughttolifeinthisnovelthereisonewhosignifiesresistancetochangeandusesthechaosaroundhimforhisownmaliciousends.AndsointheendthereisonepersonwhocomesoutunscathedandnowiserfromthebrutalpainofIndianindependence:Ice-Candy-Man.’
—WeeklyMail
‘AstheambiguitiesandcontradictionsresidinginthepoliticalsituationinthePunjabareexploredinthecourseofLenny’snarrative,soexamplesmultiplyofSidhwa’stalentforfusingbroadhumourandtrenchantcriticism,concreteobservationandimaginativeinsight,therealitiesofeverydayexistenceandtheabstractionsofpoliticsandreligion.’
—ThirdWorldQuarterly
‘Withoutawordofprotestationorpreachingandwithouthistrionics,SidhwahaswrittenoneofthemostpowerfulindictmentsoftheriotswhichoccurredduringthePartition.’
—WorldLiteratureToday
‘Thenovelisabouttheslowawakingofthechildheroinebothtosexualityandgrown-uppainsandpleasuresandtotheparticularhistoricaldisasterthatoverwhelmsherworld…compulsivelyreadable.’
—Observer
‘Apowerfulanddramaticnovelist.’
—TheTimes
‘Sidhwa,aParseelivinginPakistan,isararityeveninswiftly-changingAsia—acandid,forthright,balancedwomannovelist.HertwentiethcenturyviewofIndianlifecanonlybecomparedtoV.S.Naipaul’s.SidhwaisamongthemostinvigoratingIndianwriters.’
—BloomsburyReview
‘Ice-Candy-Manisanovelinwhichheartbreakcoexistswithslapstick…andjokesgivewaytolinesofglowingbeauty(“themoonlightsettleslikealayerofashesoverLahore”).Theauthor’scapacityforbringinganassortmentofcharactersvividlytolifeisenviable.InreducingthePartitiontotheperceptionsofapolio-riddenchild,agirlwhotriestowrenchouthertonguebecauseitisunabletolie,BapsiSidhwahasgivenusamemorablebook,onethatconfirmsherreputationasPakistan’sfinestEnglishlanguagenovelist.’
—NewYorkTimesBookReview
‘BapsiSidhwahasturnedhergazeuponthedomesticcomedyofaPakistanifamilyinthe1940sandsomehowmanagedtoevokethegreatpoliticalupheavalsoftheage…andIamparticularlytouchedbythewayshehasheldthewickedworlduptothemirrorofayounggirl’smindandcaughtsomuchthatislyricalandsignificant…amysteriousandwonderfulnovel.’
—WashingtonPost,BookWorld
‘MuchhasbeenwrittenabouttheholocaustthatfollowedthePartitionofIndiain1947.Butseldomhasthatstorybeentoldastouchingly,asconvincingly,orashorrifyinglyasithasbeenbynovelistBapsiSidhwa,seeingitthroughtheeyesofyoungLenny…thereisgreathumanityinthisnovel.’
—PhiladelphiaInquirer
‘ReadingBapsiSidhwa’sIce-Candy-ManislikeforagingthroughatablefulofdiscountedSwatchwatches,andfindingagoldRolex…itillustratesthepowerofgoodfiction:ahistoricaltragedycomesalive,yieldinginsightintoboththepastandthesubcontinent’sturbulentpresent.’
—USAToday
‘BapsiSidhwaisawriterofenormoustalent,capableofendowingsmalldomesticoccurrenceswithcosmicdramaandrenderingcalamitoushistoricaleventswithdeeplyfeltpersonalmeaning.HerIce-Candy-Manisalively,compellingnovel,ambitiouslyconceived,skillfullyplottedandbeautifullywritten.’
—NewYorkNewsday
‘SetagainstthepartitionofIndia,thisfast-paced,seriocomicsagatracksthedailyperegrinationsandcapriciousthoughtsofLennywhounwittinglylearnsthatpeopleandeventsarenotas“transparent”asshehadthought.’
—TheMiamiHerald
‘Imagineachildskippinginnocentlythroughthecarnageofwar.Thechild’slightheartedpresencemakesthedevastationaroundherallthemoreheartbreaking.ThisistheeffectofBapsiSidhwa’scompellingnovel.’
—MilwaukeeSentinel
‘Readerssooncometorealizethattheyareseeing1947Lahorethroughaskillfulnarrator’seyes(as)streetscenes,aswellasfamilylife,comealive.Sidhwaprovidesavivid,realisticpictureofIndianfamilylifeandhumaninteraction…withanintroductiontowhatcontinuestohappen(inthesub-continent)today.’
—ArizonaDailyStar
‘Ice-Candy-Manisasuperbnovel,brilliantlyandlovinglywritten.Itisalsoamasterfulworkofhistoryasitrelatespoliticaleventsinthemostsimplebutalsomosthumanlymeaningfulterms,withcomedyandanguish,throughtheeyesofachild.’
—AlbuquerqueJournal
‘Sidhwa’sviewpointisofsomeonetowhomthescenesshedepictsareknownwithgreatintimacy.Asforeignreaderswe’reinvitedtolearnwhatitwasreallyliketoliveasanIndianinthoseyearsofviolence.Lennyhastheprivilegeofdetachment:shegivesusthestorywhole,insteadofinfragments.’
—Remark
‘Foroneofthemostimportantappealingnarratorsyouwillevercomeacross,foracompellingandilluminatingviewofamomentinworldhistory,andforclear-eyedinsightsintohumannature,readthisbook.’
—ReadingWoman
‘Sidhwaisasuperbstoryteller,sprinklingthebookwithtersely-capturedvignettes,whichincreasinglyknittogetherintoastoryofpassionandbetrayal,“theunscrupulousnatureofdesire”and“thepitilessfaceoflove”.It’sagreat,throngingbazaarofabook,bustlingwithriches.’
—NewInternationalist
‘Thisexquisitelywritten,tightlyconstructednoveloffersanengagingglimpseintoAsianlifeandavividrecordofadarkchapterinhistory.’
—Masterplots:Women’sLiterature
‘BapsiSidhwaistechnicallyPakistani,butliteraturehasnoneedofpartitions,particularlyasSidhwa’snovelIce-Candy-Manisoneofthefinestresponsesmadetothehorrorofthedivisionofthesubcontinent.’
—TheNewYorker
‘TheoriginalityandpowerofSidhwa’ssplendidnovelonthepartitionofIndiaandthesubsequentcommunalviolencederivedfromherchoiceofprotagonist:Lenny,aneight-year-oldParseegirlfromLahore,aspectatorlivinginthemidstof,butapartfrom,therisingtensionsamongHindu,Muslim,andSikh…Throughout,thenovelsustainsthevitalityofLenny’sworldwithaseriesofwonderfullycomicscenes.Highlyrecommendedforalllibraries.’
—TheNewYorkerLibraryJournal
‘Sidhwa’sluminouspresent-tenseproseislaminatedwiththemagicofchildishwonder…Shemanagestodojusticetothecomplexityofracial,ethnic,andreligiousviolencethataccompaniedthepartitioningofIndia…Richlylayered,bothrealisticandmagicallyevocative,aswellastopical:anovelthatbringstotriumphantlifeanIndiathat“haslesstodowithfatethanthewillofmen”.’
—KirkusReviews
‘Thenovel’spoliticsareeffectivelyjuxtaposedagainstalush,sensualcenter,astheauthor’sproselingersonthehot,dryLahorestreets…Anoveltosavor.’
—Booklist
‘Lenny’shonestyiscompelling,andthereader,likemanyinthestory,cannothelpbuttrusther.Sheisalternatelythrilledandfrightenedbytheeventsshedutifullyrecords,andsointheend,isthereader.’
—PublishersWeekly
‘Ice-Candy-Manisamultifacetedjewelofanovel.LennyisasstrikingacreationasHarperLee’sScout,whoplaysasimilarroleinToKillaMockingbird.’
—HoustonChronicle
‘Sidhwaisthekindofwriterwhocatchesyoubysurprise.Inthesubtlestofways,sheteachesandedifiesassheentertains.’
—RadcliffeQuarterly
‘Sidhwaisafeministandarealist.Oneseesinherwomencharactersthestrengthofpassion,thetendernessoflove,andthecourageofone’sconvictions.’
—BellesLetters
ForXerxes
Chapter1
ShallIhearthelamentofthenightingale,submissivelylendingmyear?
AmItherosetosufferitscryinsilenceyearafteryear?
Thefireofversegivesmecourageandbidsmenomoretobefaint.
Withdustinmymouth,Iamabject:toGodImakemycomplaint.
SometimesYoufavourourrivalsthensometimeswithusYouarefree,
Iamsorrytosayitsoboldly.Youarenolessficklethanwe.
(Iqbal:‘ComplainttoGod’)
Myworldiscompressed.WarrisRoad,linedwithraingutters,liesbetweenQueensRoadandJailRoad:bothwide,clean,orderlystreetsattheaffluentfringesofLahore.
Roundingtheright-handcornerofWarrisRoadandcontinuingonJailRoadisthehushedSalvationArmywall.Sethigh,ateight-footintervals,arethewall’sdingyeyes.Mychild’smindisblockedbythegloomemanatingfromthewire-meshscreeningtheoblongventilationslits.IfeelsuchsadnessforthedumbcreatureIimaginelurkingbehindthewall.IknowitisdumbbecauseIhavelistenedtoitssilence,myeartothewall.
JailRoadalsoharboursmyenergeticelectric-auntandheradenoidalson…large,slow,inexorable.TheirhouseisadjacenttothedenoftheSalvationArmy.
Oppositeit,downabumpy,dusty,earth-packeddrive,istheone-and-a-half-roomabodeofmygodmother.Withherdwellherdocileoldhusbandandherslavesister.Thisismyhaven.MyrefugefromtheperplexingunrealitiesofmyhomeonWarrisRoad.
AfewfurlongsawayJailRoadvanishesintothedensebazaarsofMozangChungi.Attheotherendadistantcanalcutstheroadattheperipheryofmyworld.
***
Lordly,lounginginmybrisklyrollingpram,immersedindreams,myprivateworldisrudelypoppedbythesuddenappearanceofanEnglishgnomewaggingaleatheryfingerinmyayah’sface.Butforkeenreflexesthatenablehertopullthecarriageupshorttheremighthavebeenanaccident:andbloodspilledonWarrisRoad.WagginghisfingerovermyheadintoAyah’salarmedface,hetut-tuts:‘Letherwalk.Shame,shame!Suchabiggirlinapram!She’satleastfour!’
Hesmilesdownatme,hisbrowneyestwinklingintolerance.
Ilookathimpolitely,concealingmycomplacence.TheEnglishmanisshort,leathery,middle-aged,pointy-eared.Ilikehim.
‘Comeon.Up,up!’hesays,crookingabeckoningfinger.
‘Shenotwalkmuch…shegettired,’drawlsAyah.AndsimultaneouslyIraisemytrousercufftorevealtheleatherstrapsandwickedsteelcallipersharnessingmyrightboot.
ConfrontedbyAyah’sliquideyesandprimgloating,andthetriumphantrevelationofmycallipers,theEnglish-manwithers.
Butbackhebounces,bobbingupanddown.‘Sowhat?’hesays,resurrectinghissmile.‘Getupandwalk!Walk!Youneedtheexercisemorethanotherchildren!Howwillshebecomestrong,sprawledoutlikethatinherpram?Now,youlistentome…’helecturesAyah,andprancingbeforethecarriagewhichhasagainstartedtorollsays,‘Iwantyoutotellhermother…’
AyahandIholdoureyesaway,effectivelydampeninghisgood-Samaritanexuberance…andwagginghisheadandturningabout,theEnglishmanquietlydissolvesupthedrivewayfromwhichhehadsoenthusiasticallysprung.
ThecovetousglancesAyahdrawseducateme.Upanddown,theylookather.Stub-handedtwistedbeggarsanddustyoldbeggarsoncrutchesdroptheirposesandstareatherwithhard,alerteyes.Holymen,maskedinpiety,shoveasidetheirpretencestoogleherwithlust.Hawkers,cart-drivers,cooks,cooliesandcycliststurntheirheadsasshepasses,pushingmypramwiththeunconcernoftheHindugoddesssheworships.
Ayahischocolate-brownandshort.Everythingaboutheriseighteenyearsoldandroundandplump.Evenherface.Full-blowncheeks,poutingmouthandsmoothforeheadcurvetoformacirclewithherhead.Herhairispulledbackinatightknot.
And,asifherlookswerenotstunningenough,shehasarollingbouncywalkthatagitatestheglobulesofherbuttocksunderhercheapcolourfulsarisandthehalf-spheresbeneathhershortsari-blouses.TheEnglishmannodoubthadnoticed.
WecrossJailRoadandenterGodmother’scompound.Walkingbackwards,thebuffalo-hidewater-pouchslungfromhisback,thewatermanissprayingthedrivewaytosettlethedustforeveningvisitors.Godmotherisalreadyfittedintothebulginghammockofhereasy-chairandSlavesistersquatsonalowcanestoolfacingtheroad.TheirfacesbrightenasIscrambleoutofthepramandruntowardsthem.Smilinglikeroguishchildren,softlyclappinghandstheychant,‘Langerdeen!Paisayketeen!Tambamota,pagmahin!’Freelytranslated,‘LameLenny!Threeforapenny!Fluffypantsandfinefanny!’
FlyingforwardIflingmyselfatGodmotherandsheliftsmeontoherlapandgathersmetoherbosom.Ikissher,insatiably,excessively,andshehugsme.Sheischildless.Thebondthattiesherstrengthtomyweakness,myfiercedemandstohernurturing,mytrusttohercapacitytocontainthattrust–andmylonelinesstohercompassion–isstrongerthanthebondofmotherhood.Moresatisfyingthanthetiesbetweenmenandwomen.
Icannotbeinherroomlongwithoutinsomewaytouchingher.Somenights,clingingtoherbroadwhitebacklikeabug,Isleepwithher.Shewearsonlywhitekhaddarsarisandwhitekhaddarblousesbeneathwhichishercoarsebandage-tightbodice.
InalltheyearsIneversawthenaturalshapeofherbreasts.
***
Somewhereintheunchartedwastesofspacebeyond,isMayoHospital.Weareonaquietwideverandarunningthelengthofthefirstfloor.Thecementfloorisshiningclean.
Col.Bharucha,awesome,bald,aspink-skinnedasanEnglishman,approachesswiftlyalongthecorridor.Mymotherspringsupfromthebenchonwhichwe’vebeenwaiting.
Hekneelsbeforeme.Gentlyheliftstheplastercastonmydanglingrightlegandsuddenlylooksintomyeyes.Hiseyesareacomplexhazel.Theyaredirectasananimal’s.Hecanreadmymind.
Col.Bharuchaiscloakedinthunder.Theterrifyingauraofhisrenownandcompetencearewithhimevenwhenheiswithouthisposseofhousesurgeonsandheadnurses.Histhunderisreflectedinmymother’son-your-markattentiveness.Ifhebends,shebendsswifter.Whenhereachesforthesawonthebenchshereachesitfirstandhandsittohimwithtouchingalacrity.Itisafrighteningarm’s-lengthsaw.Itbelongsinawood-shed.Hewithdrawsfromhispocketsamallet,ahammerandachisel.
Thesurgeon’spinkhead,bentinconcentration,hidesthewhitecast.Ilookatmymother.Iturnawaytolookatacloudlesssky.Ipeerinquisitivelyattheclosedwindowsscreeningthelargegeneralwardinfrontofme.Theknocksofthehammerandchiselandthesawinghaveceasedtoalarm.Iamconfidentofthedoctor’scompetence.Iambored.Thecrunchofthesawbitingintoplastercontinuesasthesawisworkedtoandfrobythesurgeon.Ilookathisbowedheadandamarrestedbythesplotchofbloodjustvisibleonmyshinthroughthecrackintheplaster.
Myboredomvanishes.Theblooddemandsareaction.‘Um…’Imoandutifully.Thereisnoresponse.‘Um…Um…’Imoan,determinedtodrawattention.
Thesawingstops.Col.Bharuchastraightens.Helooksupatmeandhisdirecteyesboreintomythoughts.Hecockshishead,impishlydefyingmetoshedcrocodiletears.CaughtoutIputabravefaceonmyembarrassmentandmynon-existentpainandlookaway.
Itisallsopleasantandpainless.Thecastisoff.Mymother’sguilt-drivenattentioniswhereitbelongs–onthesteeplyfallenarchofmyrightfoot.Thedoctorbucklesmysandalandhelpsmefromthebenchsaying,‘Itdidn’thurtnow,didit?’Heandmymothertalkovermyheadincrypticmonosyllables,nodsandsignals.Iamtoorelievedtoseemynewlyreleasedfootanditsvaluabledeformityintacttobeinterestedintheirgrown-upexclusivity.MymothertakesmyhandandIlimpawayhappily.
Itisahappyinterlude.Iamsenttoschool.Iplay‘Isentalettertomyfriend…’withotherchildren.Mycousin,slow,intense,observant,sitswatching.
‘Whichofyou’ssickandisnotsupposedtorun?’askstheteacher:andboundbyourtelepathicconspiracy,bothCousinandIpointtoCousin.Hesquats,distributinghisindolentweightonhissturdyfeetandIshout,play,laugh,andrunonthetipsofmytoes.Ihaveanoverabundanceofenergy.Itcanneverbewhollyreleased.
Theinterludewashappy.
***
Ilieonawhitewoodentableinasmallroom.Iknowitisthesamehospital.IhavebeenluredunsuspectingtothetablebutIgetawhiffofsomethingfrightening.Ihatethesmellwithallmyheart,andmyheartpoundingItrytogetoffthetable.Handsholdme.Col.Bharucha,inastrangewhitecapandmask,looksatmecoollyandsayssomethingtoayoungandnervousladydoctor.Theobnoxioussmellgrowsstrongerasafrighteningmuzzleisbroughtclosertomymouthandnose.Iscreamandkickout.Themuzzlemovesaway.AgainitattacksandagainItwistandwrench,turningmyfacefromsidetoside.Myhandsarepinneddown.Ican’tmovemylegs.Irealisetheyarestrapped.Handsholdmyhead.‘No!No!Helpme.Mummy!Mummy,helpme!’Ishout,panicked.Shetooisalignedwiththem.‘I’msuffocating,’Iscream.‘Ican’tbreathe.’Thereisanunbearableweightonmychest.Imoanandcry.
Iamheldcaptivebythebrutalsmell.Ithasvaporisedintoamilkycloud.Ifloatroundandroundandupanddownandfallhorrendousdistanceswithoutlandinganywhere,fightingformylife’sbreath.Iamabandonedinthatsuffocatingcloud.Imoanandmyghoulishvoiceturnsmeintosomethingdespicableandeerieanddeservingoftheterriblepunishment.ButwhereamI?Howlongwillthehorrorlast?Daysandyearswithnoendinsight…
Itmusthaveended.
Iswitchawaketomaddeningpain;sittingupinmymother’sbedcrying.Imusthavebeencryingalongtime.Ibecomeawareofthenewplastercastonmyleg.Theshapeofthecastisalteredfromthelasttime.Thetoespointup.Thepainfrommylegradiatesallovermysmallbody.‘Dosomething.I’mhurting!’
Mymothertellsmethestoryofthelittlemousewithseventails.
‘Themousecomeshomecrying.’Mymotherrubsherknucklestohereyesand,energeticallyimitatingthemouse,sobs,‘“Mummy,Mummy,dosomething.Thechildrenatschoolteaseme.Theysing:‘Freakymouseywithseventails!Lousymouseywithseventails!’”So,thelittlemouse’smotherchopsoffonetail.Thenextdaythemouseagaincomeshomecrying:“Mummy,Mummy,thechildrenteaseme.‘Lousymouseywithsixtails!Freakymouseywithsixtails!’”’
Andsoon,untilonebyonethelittlemouse’stailsareallchoppedoffandthestorywindstoitsinevitableanddismalendwiththebabymousecrying:‘Mummy,Mummy,thechildrenteaseme.Theysing,“Freakymouseywithnotail!Lousymouseywithnotail!”’Andthereisnowayatailcanbetackedbackon.
Thedolefulstoryaddstomymisery.Butstoicallybearingmypainforthedurationofthetale,outofpityformymother’swanfaceandmyfather’sexaggeratedattemptstobecomethetragicmouse,Ionceagainsuccumbtothepain.
Mymothertellsmyfather:‘Gonextdoorandphonethedoctortocomeatonce!’Itisinthemiddleofthenight.Anditiscold.Fatherputsonhisdressinggownandwrappingascarfroundhisneckleavesus.Myscreaminglosesitsedgeofpanic.Anhourlater,exhaustedbythepainandnolongerabletopandertomymother’seffortstodistract,Iabandonmyselftohysteria.
‘DaddyhasgonetofetchCol.Bharucha,’soothesMother.Shecarriesmeroundandroundtheroomstrokingmyback.Finally,pushingpastthecurtainandthedoor,shetakesmeintothesittingroom.
Myfatherraiseshisheadfromthecouch.
Thebittertruthsinksin.Heneverphonedthedoctor.Heneverwenttofetchhim.Andmymothercollaboratedinthebetrayal.IrealisethereisnothingtheycandoandIdon’tblamethem.
Thenightmusthavepassed–asdidthememoryoffurtherpain.
Asnewsofmyoperationspreads,thesmallandentireParseecommunityofLahore,incluckingclusters,descendsontheSethihousehold.Idon’twishtoseethem.IcryforGodmother.Ifeelonlyshecanappreciatemypainandcomfortme.Shesendsherobeseemissary,MiniAunty,whowithherdoggeddevotiontomymother–andmultiplicityofplatitudes–onlyaggravates.‘My,my,my!Sohereweare!Flatonourbackslikeoldladies!’Sheclickshertongue.‘We’venoconsiderationforpoorMummy,havewe?’AsifI’vedeliberatelycommittedsurgeryonmyfootandsneakedmylegintoacast!
But,precededbytheslave,Godmothercomes.
Shesitsbymybedstrokingme,smiling,hereyestwinklingconcern,inhergreygoing-outsari,itsprettyborderofbutterfliespinnedtoironstrandsofscantcombed-backhair.
Theintensityofhertendernessandtheconcentrationofherattentionarenarcotic.Irequirenooneelse.
AlleveninglongMotherandFathersitinthedrawingroom,long-facedandtalkinginwhispers,answeringquestions,acceptingadvice,exhibitingmyplasteredleg.
WhenCol.Bharuchamakeshishousecallatduskheisusheredthroughthesittingroom–hushedbyhispassage–intothenurserybytheofficiatingandanxiousenergyofElectric-aunt.Father,cradlingmelikeababy,carriesmein.
Thevisitingladiesformaquietringroundmycotaswithalittlemalletthedoctorchecksmywrist,knees,elbowsandleftankleforreflexes:andinjectsapain-killerintomybehind.Cousin,watchingthespectacle,determinesseriouslytobecomeadoctororamalenurse.Anyprofessionthatpermitsonetojabpinsintopeoplemeritshisconsideration.
TakingadvantageofCol.Bharucha’sbriefpresenceMotherreadsoutherlistofquestions.Shouldshesitmeoutinthesun?Massagelikethis…orthat?Usealmondormustardoil?CanshegivemeMrPhailbus’shomeopathicpowders?Cod-liveroil?
‘I’mtoblame,’shesays,‘Ilefthertotheayahs…’
Amonthlater,freeofpain,Isitinmystroller,myrightlegstuckstraightoutinfrontonaccountofmycast,asAyahpropelsmetothezoo.Iobservethecuriousglancescomingmywayandsoakinthecommiseratecluckingoftongues,wearingapoliteandnonchalantcountenance.ThelessattentionIappeartodemandthemoreattentionIget.And,despitetheprovocativeagitationofAyah’sbouncywalk,despitethegravitationalpullofhermoon-likeface,Iamthestarattractionofthestreet.
Whenwestopbythechatteringmonkeysinthezoo,eventheythroughtheircagesogleme.IstareatthewhiteplasterforcingmyuniquefootintothebanalmouldofabillionotherfeetandIpondermyuncertainfuture.
Whatwillhappenoncethecastcomesoff?Whatifmyfootemergesimmaculate,fault-free?WillIhavetobehavelikeotherchildren,sloggingformyshareofloveandotherhandouts?Aren’tItoooldtolearntothrowtantrums–orholdmybreathandhaveafit?WhileotherchildrenhavetoclamourandjumparoundtoearntheircandyImerelysitorstand,wearingmypatient,butter-wouldn’t-melt…anddisplayingmycallipers–andIamshoweredwithcandy.
WhatifIhavetolabouratlearningspellingsandrecitingpoemsandstrivewithfortyotherdrivenchildrentostandfirst,secondorthirdinclass?SofarI’vebeensparedtheidiocy–Iambynatureuncompetitive–butthesuddenemergencefromitscocoonofabeautifullybalancedandshapelyfootcouldputmysanguinepersonalityandsitu-ationontheline.
Iflirt,briefly,withhope.Perhaps,inhiszeal,Col.Bharuchahasover-correctedthedefect–andIseemyselflimpinggamelyonthestubofmyheelwhiletheballofmyfootandmytoeswagglesuspended.
IamjoltedoutofmytroublesomereveriewhenIrealisethatAyahistalkingtoSherSingh,theslenderSikhzooattendant,andIhavebeenrolledbeforethelion’scage.Therehelies,theferociousbeastofmynightmares,lookingtoothlessandinnocent…lyinginwaittospring,fullydentured,intomydreams.
Chapter2
Fatherstirsinthebednexttoours.‘Jana?’Mothersayssoftly,proppingherselfuponanelbow.
Iliestillpretendingsleep.
ShecallshimJan:life.Inthefaintglowofthenight-bulbIseehimentirelyburiedbeneathhisquiltlikeinagrave.Motherhatesitwhenhecovershisface:asifheisdistancinghimselffromhereveninhissleep.Sheknowsheisawake.‘Jana?’shesaysagain,gropingforhishead.‘Don’tcoveryourfacelikethat…You’llsuffocate.’
‘So?’saysFatherdrowsily,hangingontotheheavycottonquiltandunveilingonlyhiseyes.‘You’llbeamerrywidow.You’llbloweverypiceI’vesaved.’
Icanalmostfeelalanguoroushappinesssettleinmymother’sflesh.Hesoundsteasing,affectionate:asshesayshedidinthefirstyearoftheirsix-year-oldmarriage.
‘Don’tsaythat,Jana.Evenasajoke,’Mothersays,hervoiceplaintive,grateful,husky.Sherollsoverandmouldingherselftohisbackmakessmallburrowing,yearningmovements.FatherturnsandliftingthequiltburieshisheadinthebreastsshehasinheritedfromasuccessionofbountifullyendowedParseegrandmothers.
Havingpolioininfancyislikebeingbornunderaluckystar.Ithasmanyadvantages–itpermitsmeaccesstomymother’sbedinthemiddleofthenight.
‘Baijee?Wakeup.’AyahtapsMother’shandurgently.‘Baijee?’
Mylidsflyopen.Motherlooksstartledandhereyes,stillglazedwithdreams,starefixedlyatAyah.
‘Something’shappenedtoPapoo…I’veputherinthenursery,’whispersAyah.‘You’dbettercome.’
InonestartingmovementMotherpushesawaythequiltandswingsherfeettotheicyfloor.Hercalvesgleamcreamilyinthepalelightseepinginthroughthenarrowwindows.Shanta,myeighteen-year-oldAyah,pushestheredfeltslipperstowardshermistress’sfeetandholdsoutMother’spashminashawl.
Isitup,whimpering,andAyahswingsmeupandplacesmeonherhip.IknowIamheavywithmycast.
Itiswarmerinmynursery.Athinwoollendhurriecoversthebrickfloorandthesweeper’sdaughterislyingonitinfrontoftheglowingrodsofanelectricheater.Sheisthreeyearsolderthanme,abittaller,butsheweighslessI’msure.
Ayahplacesmeinmycotandsquatsbesidemykneelingmother.Ifeelasickeninglurchoffear–andfury.Fromthewayshelies,ashen,immobile–therightsideofherdarkcheekandsmallmouthslightlyaskew,athreadofsalivastretchedtoawetspotonthedhurrie–IthinkthatthereissomethingterriblywrongwithPapoo.‘HasMucchobeatenheragain?’Iaskfiercely.
Ayahlooksupatme,shiveringinthesleevelesscardiganwornoverhercottonsari.Herhairisdishevelledandherlargeeyesaredilatedwithangertoo.‘Shush,’shesays.‘She’llbeallright.’Theshawlshehasflungasideearlierliesinaheaponthefloor.
‘Papoo,’Mothersays,smoothingbackherstraight,sun-bleachedhair,‘openyoureyes,child.You’resafe.Come?’
Butthegirl,normallysoresponsive,liesabsolutelystill.Shelooksunbearablyill:shrunken,hersmallfeaturesbarelydefined,showingmilkycrescentsbeneathherlids.
‘We’dbettergethertothehospital,’Mothersays,standingup.‘I’lltellSahibtomindLenny.’
Papooremainsinthehospitaltwowholeweeks.Shehasconcussion.Hermothersaysshefelloffherbedbutweknowshe’slying.Mucchomaltreatsherdaughter.
WhenPapooreturnsfromthechildren’swardoftheGangaRamHospitalsheissprightly,defiant,devilishandasdelightfulasever.
***
Myparentssitonwood-bottomedchairsinCol.Bharucha’sconsultingroom.Motherholdsme.I’vebeeninflatedtotwicemysizebyknittedunderwear,pullovers,afive-footKashmirshawlandaquilt.
Col.Bharuchaisapplyingastethoscopetotheemaciatedchestofaninfant.Awomaninashabbyblackburkaholdsthechild.Theinfantcoughssoseverelythathismotherhastoholdhimupright.
Col.Bharucharemovesthestethoscopefromhisearsandletsithangfromhisnecklikeatalisman.‘Howlonghashehadthiscough?’heasks.
Thefather,standingdeferentiallytooneside,bendstowardshiswife.Sheturnsherveiledfacetohimandwhispers.
‘Foraweek,doctorsahib,’themansays.Hisheadandneckarewrappedinamufflerandhisgauntfaceiscareworn.
‘Howoftendoeshethrowup?’asksthedoctor.
Againthemanstoopsand,relayinghiswife’swords,says:‘Quiteoften,sir.’
‘Onceaday?Twiceaday?Tentimesaday?’thedoctorboomsimpatiently.IfeelMother’sarmtwitch.
Thistimethewomanaddressesthedoctordirectly,lookingathimthroughthenettingcoveringhereyes.‘Hevomitseverytimehehasmilk…five,sixtimesaday.’Hervoiceisincrediblyyoung.Shecouldn’tbemorethantwelve,Ithink,surprised.
‘Whydidn’tyoubringhimearlier?’thedoctorroars.
‘I’msorry,sir,’themansays.‘Shedidn’ttellme.’
‘Shedidn’ttellyou?Areyouafatherorabarber?AndyouallwantPakistan!Howwillyougovernacountrywhenyoudon’tknowwhatgoesoninyourownhouse?’
Theman,shiveringslightlyinashort,scruffyjacketandcottontrousers,hangshisheadandsmilessheepishly.
HispatientsunderstandCol.Bharucha.Themoreheroarsandscoldsthemorelikelyheistoeffectacure.Theyhaveasmuchfaithinhistouchasinhismixtures.
‘Takethistothedispenser,’Col.Bharuchasays,handinghimaprescription.‘Hewon’tchargeyouforthemedicine.’
‘Yourfees,sir?’Themanfishesoutahandfulofgrubbyone-rupeenotesfromhiscoatpocket.
‘Noneed,’Col.Bharuchasayswithadismissivegesture,andturningtous,asks,‘Well?’
Themansalaamsandshepherdshiswifeoutofthetinyroom.
‘It’sLenny,’saysMother.‘Yousaidyou’dremoveherplastertoday?Shehasacold…Idon’tknowifyoushould…’Hervoicetrailsoffonaquaveringnote.
Iquake.Thenewscomesasacompleteshock.IthoughtIwasseeingthedoctorformycold.Misinterpretingmydevotiontothecastwhichconcealsmyrepairedfoot,MotherthinksI’mmerelyscaredofbeinghurt:andhaskeptthetruepurposeoftheappointmentfromme.
‘No!’Iscream,unabletobearthethoughtofanable-bodiedfuture.Thesuspense–althoughithasgivenmyforeheadprematurewrinklesofworry–ispreferabletothecertaintyofanaltered,laboriousandlovelesslife.
IopenmymouthwideandbawlasloudlyasIamableandcleavetomymother.
‘Itwon’thurt,mai,’soothesFathergently.
‘Don’tyouremember?Itdidn’thurtatalllasttime,’carolsMotherbrightly.‘DrBharuchawouldneverletyouhurt.’
Fatherwavesacrispten-rupeenotebeforemynoseasIturnmyfacefromsidetosidetoabjuretemptationandestablishdisdain.ItisatouchinggestureofextravaganceonFather’spart.Iwouldappreciateitinanyothercircumstance.
Buttrademyfuturefortenrupees?
Col.Bharuchamoveshisspindlychaircloserandlookseloquentlyatme,implying:Nowwhat’sallthisfussabout?Iwon’ttoleratenonsense.
Butmyterrorisgenuine:andthedoctorcompromises.‘Ionlywanttohavealookattheplaster,hesays,anddisplayshandsinnocentofsaw,chiselorhammer.‘See?Ihavenothing.’
HeshiftshiseyestoMother.‘Howdoyouexpectmetoexamineherthroughallthisquilting?’Andstandingupfromhisdesk,tallandstooping,directs:‘Bringhertothetable.’
MotherbrisklyremovesthequiltandhandsittoFather.Sheunwindstheshawl,removesmycoatandtrousersandlaysmeonthehardandtreacherouslynarrowtablethatiscoveredonlybyaniodine-stainedwhitesheet.
‘Takeherclothesoff,woman!’thedoctorhollers.
‘Shehassuchanawfulcoldandfever…’saysMotherhesitantly.
‘Thentakeherhomeandbroilher!Ifyouknowwhat’sgoodforher,whybringhertome?’
MotherandFatherhastilystripmeofmypulloversandknittedunderwear,sparingonlymycottonknickers.
Thedoctorapplieshiscoldstethoscope.I’mstilltremblingfromthethunderofhisangryroars–andnowIshiveralsofromthecold.
‘Shehasn’tgotafever,’thedoctordeclaresseverely.HesignalstoMotherandshecoversmynakedandtrem-blingtorsowiththeshawl.AtthedirectionofaswiftandsecretsignalImiss,FatherandMothermovetoeithersideofmeandfirmlystrokemyarmsandshoulders:and,atmyinstantalarm,makesoothingnoises.
‘Liestill!’thedoctororders,andpetrifiedbyhistone,Iliestill.
Col.Bharuchasaws,hammersandchiselsatmycast,andusingbothhands,tearsitapart.
‘See?Nopain,’hesays,movinghiseyesclosetomine.‘Havealook,’heoffers,helpingmesitup.MotherhastilywindstheshawlroundmyshouldersandIexaminethedoctor’shandiwork.
Iletgomybreathinamassivesighofrelief.Myrightleglooksdead:patheticallythin,wrinkledandsplotchedwithdiscolouredandpalepatches.Theshapeofmyanklehas
definitelychanged.Itjoinsmyfootatamuchmorereasonableangle.OnthewholeI’msurprisinglypleased.Myleglooksfunctionalbutitremainsgratifyinglyabnormal–andfarfrombanal!
Iamdressedandstoodonmybarefeet.Myheelstillclearsthefloor.Col.Bharuchatriesbrieflytopressmyheeldown.
‘Muchbetter!’heannounces,lookingup.‘Seethedifference?’
Myparents’twingeofinitialdisappointmentisatoncereplacedbyreadjustedexpectations.Theynodtheirheadswithadmiringsmilesofsatisfaction.
‘Mindyou,shemustwearhercallipersforsometime,’saysthedoctor:andturningtomeheadds,‘We’llgetyounewones.’Icouldhughim.‘Shestillneedscare…Massage,ultra-violetrays,physicaltherapy.’Heraisesmyrightarmandbendsmytorsototheleft.‘Herrightsideisaffected:shewillhavetoexerciseandstretchherwaistlikethis!’
Mother’seyesarebrimmingwithtears,herbeautifulmouthworking.
Col.Bharuchaplaceshisarmaroundher.‘What’sheretoworrynow?’hesaysgruffly,surprisedatMother’sagitation.‘Bythetimeshegrowsupshe’llbequitenormal.’
Motherblowshernoseinadaintilyembroideredcambrichandkerchiefandtakingthedoctor’shandpressesittohereyes.Fathersniffsandclearshisthroat.
‘Whataboutherschooling?’heasks,maskinghisemotion.Ican’ttellifheisinordinatelypleasedbytheconditionofmyleg–orinordinatelydisappointed.
‘She’sdoingfinewithoutschool,isn’tshe?’saysthedoctor.‘Don’tpressureher…hernervescouldbeaffected.Shedoesn’tneedtobecomeaprofessor.’Heturnstome.‘Doyouwanttobecomeaprofessor?’
Ishakemyheadinafirmnegative.
‘She’llmarry–havechildren–leadacarefree,happylife.Noneedtostrainherwithstudiesandexams,’headvises:therebysealingmyfate.
Mother’smouthisagainworking–hereyesagainbrimming.Anddrivenbyunfathomabledemons,againherguiltsurfaces.‘Idon’tknowwhereIwentwrong,’shesays.‘It’smyfault…Ineglectedher–lefthertothecareofayahs.Noneoftheotherchildrenwhowenttothesameparkcontractedpolio.’
‘It’snoone’sfaultreally,’saysCol.Bharucha,reassuringherasusual.‘Lennyisweak.Somechildwithonlythesymptomsofaseverecoldcouldhavepassedthevirus.’Andthenheroarsashockingpostscript:‘Ifanyone’stoblame,blametheBritish!TherewasnopolioinIndiatilltheybroughtithere!’
AsfarasI’mconcernedthisisinsurgence–anopendeclarationofwarbythetwohundredParseesofLahoreontheBritishEmpire!IamshockedbecauseCol.Bharuchais
thePresidentofourcommunityinLahore.And,exceptforafewdesignatedrenegades,theParseeshavebeencarefultoadoptadiscreetandpoliticallynaïveprofile.Atthelastcommunitydinner,heldontheroofoftheYMCAbuildingontheMall,Col.Bharuchahadcautioned(betweentheblood-chillingwhinesofthemicrophone):‘Wemusttreadcarefully…WehaveservedtheEnglishfaithfully,andearnedtheirtrust…So,wehaveprospered!ButwearethesmallestminorityinIndia…Onlyonehundredandtwentythousandinthewholeworld.Wehavetobeextrawary,orwe’llbeneitherherenorthere…’Andthen,surmountinghisuncharacteristichesitancy,andinthunderousvoice,hede-claimed:‘Wemusthuntwiththehoundsandrunwiththehare!’
Everybodyclappedandgravelysaid:‘Hear!Hear!’astheyalwaysdo,reflexively,everytimeanyoneairsaBritishproverbinsuitablyringingtones.
‘ThegoddamnEnglish!’Ithink,infectedbyCol.Bharucha’sstartlingferocityatthis‘dastardly’(oneofFather’sfavouritewords,justas‘plucky’isMother’s)instanceofBritishtreachery.‘Theygaveuspolio!’Andnotwith-standingthecompatibleandsanguinenatureofmyrela-tionshipwithmydisease,IfeelitismyfirstpersonalinvolvementwithIndianpolitics:theQuit-IndiasentimentthathasfiredtheimaginationofasubjectpeopleandwillsoonsweepawaytheRaj!
Chapter3
AyahandI,arrestedbyadiscordantbugleblast,cometoadeadstopoutsideGodmother’sgate.Thereisabriefrollofdrums.Thetalltin-sheetgatesoftheSalvationArmycompoundopenandthebandandmarchersemergefromtheleafygloamofneemtreesfermentingbehindthewalls.
ItisalwaysashocktoseetherawhandsandfacesoftheEnglishexposedtothelightofday;andasthecolumnmovesawaymymindtransformsitintoaslickredandwhitecaterpillar,itslegsmarching,marching,itshundredsightlesseyesstaringahead.
Atstartlingintervalsthecaterpillarburstsintosound.Drums,buglesandtambourinesclash–andasitcurvesoutofsightroundabendinJailRoaditmanufacturesacuriousvibration,likeaunisonofmuzzledvoicesraisedinsong.
Istandtransfixed,waitingforthecreature’sreturn.AyahtriestodragmeawaybutIresist,andsheleansresignedly–andattractively–againstthewhite-washedgatepost.
Whenthecaterpillarreturns,nowmarchingonoursideoftheroad,theredjacketsandwhitesarisseparatetotakethealienshapesofEnglishmenand-women.ObservedinmicroscopicdissectiontheheadofthecentipedeisformedbyastruttingEnglishmanholdingthestoutpoleofaredflagdiagonallyacrosshischest.OfitsownvolitionhisglanceslidestoAyahand,turningpurpleandshowingoff,hewieldstheflaglikeanacrobaticbaton.
Closebehind,orificesgluedtoconvolutedbrasshorns,struttworedjackets:andontheirheels,formingtheshoulderandchestofthecreature,atight-packedrowofredjacketsbeatingdrums,cymbalsandtambourines,theirleadeneyesattractedtothemagnetleaningagainstthegatepost.
ThesavioursmoveawayandthebitsandpiecesofEnglishmenand-womenfittogetheragaintoformtheelongatedandillusionarycaterpillarofJailRoad.
***
WenolongerusethepramtovisitGodmother’shouse:itisashorttenminutewalk.ButwhenAyahtakesmeupQueensRoad,pasttheYWCA,pasttheFreemasons’Lodge,whichshecalls‘TheGhostClub’,andacrosstheMalltotheQueen’sstatueintheparkoppositetheAssemblyChambers,I’mstillpushedinapram.Iloveit.
QueenVictoria,castingunmetal,ismajestic,massive,overpowering,ugly.HerstatueimposestheEnglishRajinthepark.Iliesprawledonthegrass,myheadinAyah’slap.TheFallettisHotelcook,theGovernmentHousegardener,andanelegant,compactlymuscledhead-and-bodymasseursitwithus.Ice-candy-manissellinghispopsiclestotheothergroupsloungingonthegrass.Mymouthwaters.IhaveconfidenceinAyah’schocolatechemistry…lankandlopingtheIce-candy-mancometh…
ItakeadvantageofAyah’sadmirers.‘Massageme!’Idemand,kickingthehandsomemasseur.Heloosensmylacesandunbucklesthestrapsgrippingmyboots.Takingafewdropsofalmondoilfromoneofthebottlesinhiscruetset,hemassagesmywastedlegandthenmyokayleg.Hisfingersworkdeftly,kneading,pummelling,soothing.Theyareknowingfingers,veryclever,andsometimes,lateintheevening,whenheandAyahandIarealone,theymassageAyahunderhersari.Herlidsclose.Shegrowsstillandlanguid.Apearlywedgegleamsbetweenherlipsandshemoans,afragile,piteoussoundofpleasure.Verycarefully,veryquietly,Imanoeuvremyeyesandnose.Itisdark,butnowandthenadartoftwilightilluminatesasubtleartistry.Mynoseinhalesthefragranceofearthandgrass–andtheotherfragrancethatdistilsinsights.Iintuitthemeaningandpurposeofthings.Thesecretrhythmsofcreationandmortality.Theessenceoftruthandbeauty.Irecallthechokinghellofmilkyvapoursanddiscoverthatheavenhasadarkfragrance.
ThingslovetocrawlbeneathAyah’ssari.Ladybirds,glow-worms,Ice-candy-man’stoes.Sheduststhemoffwithimpartialnonchalance.
IkeepaneyeonIce-candy-man’stoes.Sometimes,inthecourseofanengrossingstory,theytravelsocautiouslythatbothAyahandIaretakenunawares.Ice-candy-manisaraconteur.Heisalsoanabsorbinggossip.Whenthestoryisextragood,andthetentativetoespolite,Ayahtoleratesthem.
SometimesatoesnakesoutandzeroesinonitstargetwithsuchlightningspeedthatIhearoftheattackonlyfromAyah’sstartled‘Oof!’OnceinawhileIpre-emptthebigtoe’sromanticimpulseand,catchingitmid-crawlormid-strike,twistit.Itisameasuretokeepthecandybribescoming.
IlearnalsotodetectthesubtleexchangeofsignalsandsomeofthecomplexritesbywhichAyah’sadmirersco-exist.Dustingthegrassfromtheirclothestheyslipawaybeforedark,leavingtheoneluck,orthelady,favours.Idon’tenjoythegardener’sturnbecausenothingmuchhappensexcepttalk.HetalksandAyahtalks,andhelistensandAyahtalks.Iescapeintodaydreamsinwhichmyfatherturnsloquaciousandmymotherplayful.OrofheroicsinwhichIrescueGodmotherfromthedroolingjawsofhercannibalisticbrother-in-lawwhoisadoctorandvisitsfromwaybeyondtheperimeterofmyfamiliarworld.
Ilearnfast.IgainAyah’sgoodwillandcomplicitybyaccommodatingherneedtomeetfriendsandrelatives.Shetakesmetofairs,cheaprestaurantsandslaughter-houses.Icover
upforherandmaintainacannysilenceaboutherdoings.Ilearnofhumanneeds,frailties,crueltiesandjoys.Ialsolearnfromherthetyrannymagnetsexerciseovermetals.
Ihavemanyteachers.Mycousinshowsmethings.
‘Youwanttoseemymarbles?’heasks,andholdsouttheprettilycolouredglassballsformetoadmireandtouch–andifIsowish,toplaywith.HehasjustreturnedfromQuettawherehehadaherniaoperation.‘Letmeshowyoumyscar,’heoffers,unbuttoninghisflyandexposingmetotheglamorousspectacleofastitchedscarandahandfulofgenitals.Hetoohascleverfingers.‘Youcantouchit,’heoffers.Hisexpressionisdisarming,gallant.Itouchthefinescarandgingerlyholdthegenitalshetransferstomypalm.Webothstudythem.‘Iamalsohavingmytonsilsremoved,’hesays.Ihandbackhisgenitalsandlookathisneck.Ivisualiseared,scallopedscarrunningfromeartoear.Itisapremonition.
SometimesIspenddaysandnightswithmylimberelectric-auntandmyknowingandinstructivecousin.‘Seethispillow?’heasksonenight–andasitmovesneareritresemblesamuzzle.Iscream.Frightened,hecoversmyscreamwiththepillowandsitsonit.Istrugglemadlyatfirstandthenfeebly,andcautiouslyheallowsmetoemerge,screamless.
Thenextday,whenwearealone,mycousin’sfaceloomsconspiratoriallycloseandhesays,‘Comeon.I’llshowyousomething.’
Heleadsmethroughwire-meshdoorstothebackveranda.Hedragsawoodenstoolclosetothewhite-washedwallandclimbingonitpointstoaholeinasmallwhitechinaobjectstucktothewall.‘Seethis?’heasks.‘Putyourfingerthereandseewhathappens.’Hejumpsdownandalmostliftsmetothestool.Heisacoupleofyearsolderthanme.Iraisemyhand,indexfingerpointed,andlookdownathimexpectantly.Henods.IpokemyfingerintothesmalldepressionandanACcurrentteachesmeeverythingIwilleverneedtoknowaboutgullibilityandshock.Thoughmyfacultiesofreason,deductionandlogicadvancewiththeyears,mygullibilityandreactiontoshockremainthesameasonthedayItumbledscreaming,hair,nervesandlimbsspread-eagled,intomycousin’sarms.
Myelectric-auntisaresourcefulwidowaddictedtoquickdecisionsandswiftresults.Thespeedatwhichshemovesfromspottospot–fromdawntodusk–haveearnedheracitation.Sheiscalled,inmomentsofneedandgratitude,bijli:awordthatinthevariousIndianlanguages,withslightvariations,standsforbothelectricityandlightning.
Sheisalsoaddictedtonavy-blue.Sheandhersonshareabedroom.Ithasnavy-bluecurtains,navy-bluebedspreadsandnavy-bluelinendoiliesonthedressingtable.Itis,dependingonmymood,eitherarestfuloragloomyroom.ThenightofmylessoningullibilityandshockIfinditgloomy.MycousinandIspreadmattressesandsleeponthecarpetedfloorofthecheerfulsittingroomnexttothebedroom.
ThatnightIhavethefirstnightmarethatconnectsmetothepainofothers.
FarawayIhearasiren.Tee-too!Tee-too!itgoes,alarmingmyheart.Thenocturnalthrobandshriekinggrowlouder,closingin,comingnowfromthecompoundoftheSalvationArmynextdoor.Itstin-sheetgatesopenacracktoletoutalongkhakicaterpillar.Centipedallegsmarching,marching,itcurves,andasitapproachesElectric-aunt’sgateitmetamorphosesintoasingleGermansoldieronamotorcycle.Roaringupthedrivetheenginestops,asIknowitmust,outsideElectric-aunt’sdoorstep.Thesiren’stee-tootee-tooisnowdeafening.Myheartpoundsatthebrutalityofthesound.Thesoldier,hiscapanduniformimmaculate,dismounts.Carefullyremovingblackglovesfromhiswhitehands,hecomestogetme.
Whydoesmystomachsinkallthewaytohellevennow?IhadmyownstockofIndianbogey-men.Choorails,witcheswithturned-aboutfeetwhoatetheheartsandliversofstrayingchildren.Bearslurking,readytopounceifIdidnotfinishmypudding.Thezoolion.NoonehadtaughtmetofearanimmaculateNazisoldier.Yetherehewas,innightmareafternightmare,comingtogetmeonhismotorcycle.
Irecallanotherchildhoodnightmarefromthepast.Childrenlieinawarehouse.MotherandAyahmoveaboutsolicitously.Theatmosphereisbusinesslikeandrelaxed.Godmothersitsbymybedsmilingindulgentlyasmeninuniformsquietlysliceoffachild’sarmhere,alegthere.Shestrokesmyheadastheydismemberme.Ifeelnopain.Onlyanabysmalsenseofloss–andachillinghorrorthatnooneisconcernedbywhat’shappening.
Chapter4
Ipickupabrother.SomewheredownthelineIbecomeawareofhiselusiveexistence.Heisfour–ayearandamonthyoungerthanme.Idon’trecallhimlearningtocrawlortowalk.Wherewashe?itdoesn’tmatter.
Mybrotherisaloof.Vitalandalert,heinhabitsanothersphereofinterestsandprivatethoughts.Nodoubthetooisbusypickingupknowledge,gaininginsights.Iammorecuriousofhimthanheofme.Hiscuriositycomeslater.Iamskinny,wizened,sallow,wiggly-haired,ugly.Heisbeautiful.Heisthemostbeautifulthing,animal,person,building,riverormountainthatIhaveseen.Heisformedofgoldmercury.Heneverstandsstillenoughtosee.Heturns,ducks,moves,looksaway,vanishes.
TheonlywayIknowtoclaimhisundividedattentionistogethimangry.Ilearntobaithim.HisnameisAdi.IcallhimSissy.HeistooconfusedtoretaliatethefirstfewtimesIcallhimbyhisnewname.Atlast:‘MynameisAdi,’hegrowls,glowering.
ThenextdayIpersist.Hepretendsnottonotice.Intheevening,holdingupasari-claddollIsay,‘Hey,Sissy,look!She’sjustlikeyou!’
Adiraiseshisheadandlookssquarelyfromthedolltome.Hisjeteyesarevibrant.Hisflushedfaceholdstheconcentratedbeautyandvenomofanangrycobra.Andlikeacobrastriking,inonesweepheremovesaspikedbootandhurlsitatme.Istareathim,bloodblurringmyvision.Andhestaresbackcommunicatingcoldfuryanddeathlywarning.
It’snotthathedoesn’twanttoplaywithme.It’sjustthatIcan’tholdhisattentionformorethanafewseconds.Hisunfathomablethoughtsandmercurialplaypatternabsorbhim.Squattingbeforecornersorblankwalls,headbent,fingersbusy,heconcentratesontrains,bricks,mud-balls,strings.Quicklyheshiftstoanotherheapoftoysandgarbageinanothercorner;oroutthedoorsintothegarden,orvegetablepatch,orservants’quartersatthebackofthehouse.
Atnighthe’sintohisnightsuitandfastasleepwhileI’mstillsoakingmychilblainedtoesinscaldingsaltwater–orstandingonastoolbrushingmyteeth.Wesleepinoutsizeelongatedcots.Likeourlooselytailoredclotheswithhugetucksandhems,ourcotsaredesignedtolastalifetime.(Mybrotheroutgrewhiscot.Istillfitintomine.)Ayahtucksinthemosquito-netandswitchesoffthefaintlight.
Isthereanythingtocomparewiththecosyblissofsnugglingbeneathaheavyquiltwithahot-waterbagonafreezingnightinanunheatedroom?Particularlyifyou’vejustdashedfromthebathroomoverabarebrickfloor?Andyou’refiveyearsold?Andfreetogoovertheexcitementsandevaluatetheexperienceofthedayandweavethemintodaydreamsthatdriftintosleep?Thatis,providedthezooliondoesnotroar.Ifheroars–whichatnightisrare–mydaydreamsturnintoquakingdaymares:andthesetonightmaresinwhichthehungrylion,cuttingacrossLawrenceRoadtoBirdwoodRoad,prowlsfromtherearofthehousetothebedroomdoor,andinonebare-fangedleapcrashesthroughtosinkhisfangsintomystomach.Mystomachsinksallthewaytothebottomofhell.
Whetherheroarsatnightornot,Iawakeeverymorningtothelion’sroar.Hesetsaboutitatthecrackofdawn,blightingmydreams.BythetimeIdispelthefearsofthejungleandpeepoutofmyquilt,Adiisalreadyoutofbed.Agreatchunkofhislifeislivedapart:hegoestoaregularschool.
***
Springflowers,birdsandbutterfliesscentandcolourtheair.ItistheendofMarch,andalreadyitishotinthesun.CousinandIcomeindoorsandseemybrother,imbeddedinthesagofacharpoy,fastasleep.Wegentlyturnhimonhisbackandproppedonelbowsscrutinisehisface.
‘He’sputonlipstick,’Cousinsays.
‘Yes,’Iagree.
Hisfacehastheirresistiblebloomofspringflowers.TurnbyturnCousinandIsoftlybrushourlipsandcheeksagainsthisvelvetface,weprybackasleeklickofdarkbrownhairandkisshisforeheadandthecushionedcleftinhischin.Hisvulnerabilityisbreathtaking,andweravishitwithscrutinyandourchildishkisses.Carriedawaybyourardourwebecomerough.Adiwakesupandopensindulgent,jewel-jeteyes.Theyaretrustingandkindasasaint’s.
‘You’veputonlipstick?’Iask,invitingconfidence.
‘No,’hesaysmildly.
‘Ofcoursehehas!’saysCousin.
‘No,I’venot,’saysAdi.
‘CanIrubsometissueandfindout?’Iaskcourteously.
‘Okay,’hesays.
IstroketheKleenexacrosshislipsandlookatit.Itisunblemished.Imoistenitwithmytongueandrubharder.Cousinisarmedwithhisowntissue.Adiwithstandsour
vigorousscouringwiththepatienceoftheblameless.InoticebloodontheKleenex.Thenaturalredinhislipshascamouflagedthebleeding.Astonished,wefinallybelievehim.
‘Heshouldhavebeenagirl,’saysCousin.
BynowAdiisfullyawake.Iwatchhelplesslyasmercurialpreoccupationveilshiseyes.Hebecomesremote.Hisvulnerabilityvanishes.Hekicksout,pushingbackourhandswiththetissues.Heisincontrol.
Passingby,Ayahswoopsdownonhimandpickshimup.Afterhugginghimandnuzzlinghisfacesheabruptlyputshimdownagain,saying:‘HeismylittleEnglishbaba!’
LasteveningAyahtookusforawalkinSimla-pahariandapasser-by,nodoubtimpelledbyhersphericalagiationintospoutingsmall-talk,enquired:‘IsheanEnglish’sson?’
‘Ofcoursenot!’saidAyahimperiously.However,vanitysofteninghercontempt,sheadded:‘Cananydough-facedEnglish’ssonmatchhisspice?Theirlookslacksalt!’
AyahissoproudofAdi’spaucityofpigment.SometimesshetakesustoLawrenceGardensandencourageshimtorunacrossthespaceseparatingnativebabiesandEnglishbabies.TheayahsoftheEnglishbabieshughimandfussoverhimandpermithimtorompwiththeirprivilegedcharges.Adiundoesthebowsoflittlegirlswithblueeyesinscratchyorgandiedressesandwrestleswithtallow-hairedboysinthegrass.Ayahbeams.
***
Onbitterlycolddayswhenicesalesplummet,Icc-candy-mantransformshimselfintoabirdman.BurdenedwithenormouscagesstuffedwithsparrowsandcommongreenparrotsheparadesthepathsbehindtheLahoreGymkhanalawnsandoutsidethePunjabClub.Atstrategicmomentsheplantsthecagesonthegroundandrages:‘Ibreakyourneck,younaughtybirds!Youdotoomuchchichi!Whatwillthegoodmemsahibsthink?They’llthinkInoteachyou.Youlikejunglylionsinzoo.Icutyourthroat!’
Heflourishesabarber’srazor.Itisaninfalliblebait.Clutchesoftender-heartedEnglishwomen,sportingskirtsandtennisshoes,abandontheirgardenchairsanddaintycucumberandchickenteasandwichestorushupandscold:‘Youhorridman.Don’tyoudarecuttheirthroats!’
‘Themfreshparrots,memsahib.Theynotlearndirtywordsyet.Icatchesthemtoday,’coaxesBirdman,plunginghiscraftyhandsintothecages.‘Theyonlyonerupeefortwobirds.’
Hisbonelessfingerssetupsuchasquawkingandtwitteringamongtheparrotsandthesparrowsthattheladiesbecomefrantic.Theybuythebirdsbythedozen,and,cooing,‘Youpoorlittleitty-bittythings,’snugglethemtotheirbesoms.
Afterthekissingandthecuddling,holdingthestupefiedbirdsaloft,theyreleasethem,onebyone.Theirvaliantexpressionsandtriumphantcriesenthraltheraptcrowdofnativegawkersastheyexclaim:‘There!Flyaway,littlebirdie.Go,youpoorlittlethings!’
SquattingonhisheelsBirdmansurveysthetearfulandspiritedmemswithopen-mawedandmarvellingadmiration.Conjuringruefullittlenodsandacatchtohisvoice,heremarks:‘Itgostraighttomama-papa.’Or,sighingheavily,‘Itflytohungrylittlebabiesinnest.’
Andtoday,foreshadowingthepoeticimpulseofhisfuture,wipingtearsandpointingatagiddilyspinningandchirpingsparrow,Ice-candy-mansays:‘Look!Littlesparrowsinging,“See?See?Ifree!”tomad-with-griefwife!’
Ayah,AdiandIwatchtheperformancewithconcealedglee.Everynowandthenweheightenthehistrionicsandencouragesalesbyshouting,‘Cuttheirthroats!Cuttheirthroats!’Wecheerandclapfromthesidelineswhenthebirdsarereleased.
Ice-candy-manresortstohischangeinoccupationonlytwoorthreetimesayear,sohisingenuityworks.Heusuallyclearsapacket.Andifthesalehasbeenquickandlucrative,asonthisSaturdayafternoonjustbeforeChristmas,hetreatsustoamealatAyah’sfavouritewaysiderestaurantinMozangChungi.
Weareregulars.Theshornproprietoracknowledgesuswithasolemnnod.Heisapahailwan:awrestler.CoveringhismassivetorsowithasingletindeferencetoAyah’spresence,heapproaches.Despitethecold,hisshouldersgleamwithsweatandastripedlungiclingstohisbuttocksandlegs.
Wearedirectedtositonanarrowbacklessbench.OppositeusIce-candy-mandrapeshislankandflexiblelengthonanotherbench,andleaningacrossthetableoglesAyah.Hestraightenssomewhatwhenanurchin-apprenticeplonksdownthreetinplatesheapedwithriceandabowlofvegetablecurry.Thericeissteamingandfragrant.Wefalltoitsilently.Ayah’schocolatefingersmouldthericeintosmallgolfballswhichshepopsintohermouth.Sheeatswithherrighthandwhileherlefthandreposesinherlap.
HalfwaythroughthemealIsenseafamiliartensionandasmallflurryofmovement.Ice-candy-man’stoesareinvisiblybusy.Iglanceupjustasasupplicatingsmileonhisfacedissolvesintoapainfulgrimace:andIknowAyah’shandisengagedinanequallyheroicstruggle.
Meanwhilethemoundsofricesteadilydiminish.Outwardlycalm,systematicallypoppinggolfballs,Ayahsignalstheproprietorforanotherhelping.
Afterthemeal,aswedescendthericketywoodenstepsintothecrowdedgully,Ayahtries,tactfully,togetridofIce-candy-man.ButhehoistsAdiontotheseatofhisbicycleandpersistsinwalkingwithustoWarrisRoad.
Atthegateofourhouse,lesstactfully,Ayahsays:‘You’dbettergo.Ihavechores.’
‘Whatchores?’asksIce-candy-man,reluctanttoletAyahgo.
‘Atonofwashing…AndIhaven’tevendustedBaijee’sroom!’
‘Letmehelpyou,’saysIce-candy-man.
‘Yougonecrazy?’Ayahasks.
ImagineIce-candy-manworkingalongsideAyahinourhouse.Mother’dthrowafit!He’snotthekindoffellowwho’spermittedinside.Withhisthuggishwayofinhalingfromthestinkingcigarettesclenchedinhisfist,hisflashyscarvesandreekofjasmineattar,herepresentsashady,almostdisreputabletype.
‘Okay,I’llgo,’Ice-candy-mantemporisesreluctantly,‘butonlyifyou’llcometothecinemalater.’
‘ItoldyouI’veworktodo,’saysAyah,closetolosingpatience.‘AndIdarenotaskBaijeeforanothereveningoff.’
‘Talktomeforawhile…Justalittlewhile,’pleadsIce-candy-mansopiteouslythatAyah,whoseheartisaseasilyinclinedtomeltasIce-candy-man’spopsicles,bunchesherfingersandsays,‘Onlytenminutes.’
AwareoftheimproprietyofentertainingherguestonthefrontlawnAyahleadsustosettleonabaldpatchofgrassatthebackneartheservants’quarters.Thewintersunisdiffusedbythedustandacrimsonbankofcloudsstreaksthehorizon.Itisgettinguncomfortablychillyandmyhairalreadyfeelsdamp.Ayahnoticesitand,drawingmetoher,coversmyheadwithhersaripalloo.
‘Nowtalk,’shesaystoIce-candy-man.‘Sinceyou’resoanxioustotalk,talk!’
Ice-candy-mantalks.Newsandgossipflowoffhisglibtonguelikeatorrent.HereadsUrdunewspapersandtheUrduDigest.Hecan,whenheapplieshimself,readtheheadlinesintheCivilandMilitaryGazette,theEnglishdaily.
Characteristically,Ice-candy-manstartsbygivingusnewsoftheworld.TheGermans,heinformsus,havedevelopedadeadlyweaponcalledtheV-bombthatwillturntheBritishintopowderedash.Alittlelater,driftingclosertohome,hetellsusofSubasChandraBose,aHindupatriotwhohasdefectedtotheJapanesesideinBurma.‘BosesaystheJapanesewillhelpusliberateIndiafromtheAngrez,’Ice-candy-mansays.‘IfwewantIndiabackwemusttakeprideinourcustoms,ourclothes,ourlanguages…Andnotgomouthingthegot-pitsot-pitoftheEnglish!’
Obviouslyhe’squotingthisBose.(SometimeshequotesGandhi,orNehruorJinnah,butI’mfedupofhearingaboutthem.Mother,Fatherandtheirfriendsarealwayssaying:Gandhisaidthis,Nehrusaidthat.Gandhididthis,Jinnahdidthat.What’sthepointoftalkingsomuchaboutpeoplewedon’tknow?)
Finally,narrowinghisfocustoourimmediatesur-roundings,hesaystoAyah,‘Shantabibi,you’rePunjabi,aren’tyou?’
‘Forthemostpart,’Ayahagreeswarily.
‘Thenwhydon’tyouwearPunjabiclothes?I’veneverseenyouinshalwar-kamize.’
Thoughithasneverstruckmeasstrangebefore–I’msoaccustomedtoAyahonlyinasari–Iseethelogicofhisquestionandwonderaboutit.
‘Arreybaba,’saysAyahspreadingherhandsinafetchinggesture,‘doyouknowwhatsalaryayahswhowearPunjabiclothesget?HalfthesalaryoftheGoanayahswhowearsaris!I’mnotsosimple!’
‘I’venoquarrelwithyoursaris,’saysIce-candy-mandisarminglydemure,‘Iwasonlyaskingoutofcuriosity.’
And,catchingusunawares,hisingenuoustoedartsbeneathAyah’ssari.Ayahgivesastart.Angrilysmackinghislegandsmoothinghersari,shestandsup.‘Duffaho!Go!’shesays.‘OrI’llgetBaijeetoV-bombyouintoash!’Applyingallhisstrength,AdirestrainsIce-candy-man’sirrepressiblytwitchingtoe.
‘Arrrrey!’saysIce-candy-manholdinghishandsupasiftostaveoffAyah’sassault.‘Areyouangry?’
‘Thenwhat?’Ayahretorts.‘Youhavenosenseandnoshame!’
Grinningsheepishly,grovellingandwrigglinginthegrasstotouchthehemofAyah’ssari,hesays,‘I’msorry,forgiveme.Iwon’tdoitagain…Forgiveme.’
‘Whatfor?’snapsAyah.‘You’llneverchange!’
Ice-candy-mancoilsforwardtosquatand,threadinghissupplearmsthroughhiscalvesfromtheback,latchesontohisearlobes.Itisapunishingposturecalled‘thecock’,usedinUrdu-mediumschoolstodisciplineurchins.HelookssoridiculousthatAyahandIlaugh.
ButAdi,hisfacegrim,dispensesatotallymirthlessandviciouskicktohisankle.
Ice-candy-manstandsupsoabruptlythathismovementsareablurr.
And,myeyespopping,IstareatAdidanglingintheairattheendofhisrangyarm.Ice-candy-manhasafirmgriponthewaistbandofAdi’swoollentrousersandAdilookslikeanastonishedandstockyspiderpluckedoutofhiswebandsuspendedabovethelevelofmyeyes.
‘I’mgoingtodrophim,’Ice-candy-mansayscalmly.Hetakesalopingstepand,holdingAdidirectlyabovethebrickpavingskirtingthegrass,raiseshisarm.‘Ifyoudon’tgotothecinemawithmeI’lldrophim.’
Ican’tbelievehemeansit.
ButAdidoes.Hisfacescarlet,heletsoutaterrifiedyellandhowls:‘He’lldropme!Saveme…someonesaveme!’
‘I’mgoingtodrophim,’repeatsIce-candy-man.
Ayah’sroundmouthopensinan‘O’,hereyesstare.Seeingherexpression,mywigglyhaircurlstighter.IlookinhorroruponthedistanceseparatingAdifromthebrick.Adikicks,crawlsandsquirmsintheairandyells:‘Saveme!Saveme!Bachao!Bachao!’
AndAyahshouts:‘Puthimdownatonce,oye,badmash!Iwillgotothecinema.’
Ice-candy-mancarefullylowersAdi–facedownanddribblingspit–onthegrass.
Ayahdeftlypullsoffasandleand,lungingwildly,strikesIce-candy-manwherevershecan.Ice-candy-mancowers;andgatheringhislungiabovehisknees,snatchinguphisslippers,managestomoveoutofherreach.Ayahchaseshimrightoutofthegate.
Chapter5
Richmen’swivesandchildrensoartotheSimlaorKashmirHillsinsummer.Wealsosoar,buttothelesserMurreeHillsatthefootoftheHimalayas.
Adiisperchedonatallpony.Iamonadonkey.MydonkeytrotsalongsideandIperceivejusthowshortitis.Mylegsstickoutbeneaththesafetyringonthesaddle.Igriptheringresentfully.Thedonkey-manholdsthereins.Iamnotsparedeventhisindignity!Mydonkeyperchisludicrous.
Iamabouttoshakeheavenandearthtosetthingsrightwhenanastonishingtidalwaveofreliefandfrivolitybarrelsovertheworld.ShopkeepersontheMurreeMallhavepickedoutafewwordsfromthestaticoftheir1944radiosandhappinessstrikesallhearts.Men,women,beast,mountain,tallponyandshortdonkeyallexult.Simultaneouslyweknowthatthewarisover.Wehavewon!Victory!Thewarisover!Facesaroundmearewreathedinsmiles.IncrediblyFatherisblowingawhistlethatuncoilsafoot-longpapertongue.God!Ihaveneverbeensohappy.IwhohavesubversivelyhopedthatthedefectorBoseandtheJapaneseenemywinthewar.AllthesameIamsweptbyasenseofreliefsounburdeningthatIrealiseIwasbornwithanawarenessofthewar:andIrecallthedim,farawayfearofbombsthattingedwithbitternessmymother’smilk.NowonderIwasacolickybaby.
Thegaietyonpeople’sfacesisinfectious.Mymother’sfaceswimsupwithasmileIneveragainsee;andpluckingpapercups,streamersandwhistlesfromtheairshegivesthemtoAdiandme.
FatherseldomvisitsMurreeformorethantwoorthreedaysatatime.HereturnstoLahore.Aweeklaterwecatchabusandfollowhimdownintotheplainswhichthesunhasscorchedandpulverisedintoadustyhell.Wepantunderceilingfans.Andnowthetemperaturessoar.
OurstayinMurreehasbeencutshortbecausetheParseesofLahoreareholdingaJashanprayertocelebratetheBritishvictory.
OnthedayoftheJashanthetemperatureis116°Fintheshade.Atongawaitsintheporch.Hollow-eyedanddazedwithheatwepileperspiringintothetonga.MotherandAyahinthebackandAdiandIupfrontwiththetongaman.Wesitbacktobackonabenchdividedbyaquiltedbackrest.Aflimsycanvascanopysheltersusfromthesun.The
tongaisheldtogetherbytwoenormouswoodenwheelsoneithersideoftheshaftandisbalancedbytheharnessedhorse.Upfrontwearemoresecure–unlessthehorsefalls.
Scarcelyoutofourgate,thehorsefalls.AdiandIshootovertheguardandspillonWarrisRoad.MotherandAyaharesuspendedhighintheair,clingingforalltheyareworthtotheotherendofthesee-saw.AdiandIgetupandscampertooneside.Thetongamanpickshimselfoffthehorsecursing:andtheBirdwoodBarracks’sepoyabandonshispostandrunsforwardtorenderhelp.Ayah’spresencegalvanisesmentomadsprintsinthenoonheat.Itisapityshehasnosucheffectonanimalsthough.
Thetongamanandthesepoylifttheshaftsandassisttheharnessedhorsetostandupright.Adipatsthehorse’srump.Theanimalswisheshisbristlytailandblowswindinourfaces.Thesepoymakesanencouragingsuckingnoisewithhistongueandpushesoneoftheenormouswoodenwheelstostartthetonga.Strainingandquiveringunderthedualburdenofpassengersandheat,theshakenanimaldragsuspastthebarracks,thebarricadingwallsoftheLucyHarrisonSchoolforgirlsnexttoit,upQueensRoad,pasttheprettypinkspreadofthePunjabHighCourtandbehindthesmall-causescourttotheFireTemple.
WeleavethetongamanandAyahtogossipanddozebeneathwhatevershadetheycanfind.
Themainhallofthetempleisalreadyfullofsmoke.Twopriests,sittingcross-leggedandswayingslightly,faceeachotheracrossafirealtar.Theyarerobedinaswollenfrothofstarchedwhitemuslin.TheywearclothmasksliketheoneCol.Bharuchaworeinthehospital.Theirchantingvoicesriseandboominfiercecompetitionandthemaskpreventsspecksofspittlefromprofaningthefire.Theysitonawhitesheetamidstsilvertraysheapedwithfruit–grape,mango,papaya–andflowers.Andthemalidacookedbythepriest’swife.AdiandIjointhechildrensittingpatientlyonawoodenbench–ourcollectivemouthsdrooling.
Thepriestscannotbehurried.Theygothrougharitualestablishedamillenniumago.Theystokethefirewithsilvertongsandfeeditwithsandalwoodandfrankincense.
Itiscomparativelycoolbeneaththehighceiling.Myeyesaregettingaccustomedtothedarkbutsmartingwithsmoke.Motherhasfoundaseatinthefrontrow.ThereisanemptychairbetweenherandCol.Bharucha.Hemusthavegrowntaller,becausehispinkscalpthrustshigherabovehishair-linethanbefore.Godmothersitsnexttohim,fanningherselfandthedoctorwithaslow,rotarymotionofherpalm-leafpunkah.Shecatchesmywateringeyeandwinks.OnlyIeverseeherwink.Herdignifiedbearingandnoblefeaturesprecludewinking.Sheonlyrelaxesherguardwithme.NooneseesherasIdo.Slave-sisterissnatchingafewblessedminutesofsleepinthelastrow.Godmotherknowsshe’sasleep.Sheknowseverything.SlavesistersleepspeacefullybecausesheknowsGod-motherwillnotmind.Godmother,afterall,isnotunreasonable.
Bothpriestsstandup,smoothingtheirbeardsandgarments.Chairssqueakastheladiesgreeteachotherandgraduallyconvergeonthefruittrays.Slavesisterwaddlesplumplyforwardonpainfulbunions,smilingherpatient,obligingsmile,securinghersaribordertoherhair.Thewomenshoousfromthebenchesandsitdowntopeelandcutthefruit.
MotherstandstalkingtoCol.Bharucha.Sheistense,alert,anxioustoplease.Electric-auntjoinsthem,alsotense.Herquick,intelligenteyesscantheroom.Iknowsheislookingforme.GodmotherreleasesmeandIrunuptothem.
‘Whatisthis?’saysCol.Bharucha.Copyingandexaggeratingmylimphelurcheshalfwayacrosstheroomlikeatipsygiraffe.‘Putyourheeldown!Youmustrememberto.’
Motherpurseshershapelymouthandlooksatmesternly.Electric-auntfrowns,herthinlipsatightanxiouslinebeneathhersharpnose.
Col.Bharuchastoopsandpushingdownonthecontractedtendonpressesmyheeltothefloor.‘Massagethebackofherlegdown:likethis,’hesays,kneadingandstretchingmystubborntendon.
Hestraightens,patsmybackanddismissesme.Iknowtheyarebeamingbehindmyback,pleasedwithmyprogresssincetheoperation.Cousiniswaitingformetobefreeofthegrown-ups.
‘Iwanttoshowyousomething,’hesays,drawingmetoawindowinthewings.Hereachesintothepocketsofhisshortsandpullsoutscrapsofcardboard.Heliftsoffonelayerandrevealsapressedbutterfly,itscoloursturnedtopowder,itswingsawry.
‘Holdoutyourhand,’hecommands.Iwithholdmyhand.TherearecertainthingsI’llholdandcertainthingsIwon’t.Cousingropesformyhandand,‘No,’Isay.‘Don’t!’
‘Butit’sforyou,’saysCousin.
‘Idon’twantit!’
Cousinis,foronce,confounded.
Thereisadriftnowtowardstheinnersanctum.Electric-auntbeckonsCousinandMothersignalsme.WestepintotheinnerroomandIcanseethroughtwobarredwindowsandanopenarchwaythemainfirealtar.Itislikeagiganticsilvereggcupandtheflamesaredancingaboveabedofwhiteashes.
IkneelbeforethealtarandtouchmyforeheadtothecoolmarblestepbeyondwhichIcannotgo.Exceptforthepriestswhotendthefireandseethatitnevergoesoutnoonecanentertheinnersanctum.Motherkneelsbesideme.IaskGodtoblessourfamilyandGodmotherandallourservantsandMasseurandIce-candy-man…untilMothersays,‘That’senough!Themeeting’sabouttostart.Hurry!’
AndAdihisses,‘Don’thogGod!’
Weenterthemainhall.Thechairshavebeenrearranged.Col.Bharuchaisstandingbeforethemike,testingitwithpractisedsnapsofhisfingers.‘Hellohello,’hesays,andknocksonitwithhisknuckles.Hestruggleswithbothhandstostretchtherod.MrBankwalla,anofficerattheCentralBankofIndia,hisslightbodycrispanddependableinsweatlesswhiteshirtandwhitetrousers,rushesupobligingly.Betweenthemtheyadjustthemiketosuitthecolonel’sheight.
Thebankermovesback,fleetandunobtrusivebeneathhismaroonskull-cap,tohisseatintheaislenexttohisjollywife.(Hiswifeissoindefatigablyjollythatitissaidaftertheinitialburstofgriefsheevenwisecrackedatherson’sfuneral.LaterIheardshecrackedjokesonherdeath-bedandpreparedtomeetAhuraMazdawithjests,andslywinksatthemourners,whoseappreciativelaughterturnedtoinconsolablegriefwhenthewillwasread.ShelefteverythingtotheTowerofSilenceinKarachi.)
BythetimeCol.Bharuchaclearshisthroat,anditisanimpressivethroat-clearing,weareallsettledinourchairs.
Col.Bharuchatellsus:‘Wearegatheredhere,etc.,etc.TothankGodAlmighty,etc.,etc.’
Themikehastransformedhimfromaplain-speakingdoctorintoaresoundingorator.Buthisrhetorichasacadencethatmakesmymindwander.
SuddenlyIhearhimdeclare:‘Gandhisays,wemuststopbuyingsalt.WeshouldonlyeatsaltmanufacturedfromtheIndianOcean!’
Thecolonelpauses,dramatically,andmyloafingmindbecomesattentive.Thepause,shrewdlytimedtopermitjustthattinylicencesodeartoaParseeaudience,issnappedup.‘WhodoesthisGandhithinkheis?’shoutsanobligingwagpromptlyfromsomewhereinthemiddle.‘Isithisgrandfather’socean?’
Col.Bharucha,smilingamiably,explainsthattheBritishgovernmentischarginganunfairsalttaxand,asaprotest,weshouldnotbuyit.Gandhijeeplanstowalkahundredmilestotheoceantomakesaltforus.Heisevenpreparedtogotojailtomakehispoint!
‘Andwhatdowedowhilehe’sinjail?Walkaroundwithgoitresforlackofsalt?’shoutsthewag.
‘Gotojailforus!’snortsDrManekMody.(HeisGodmother’sbrother-in-law,andishereononeofhisperiodicvisitsfromRawalpindi.)‘Bigdeal!’hebooms.‘There’ssuchademandforA-classinjailsthatthere’snoroomleftforfolklikeus!’
(EventhoughIcannotseehimIcantellit’sDrModybytheamazingvolumeofhisvoice.Heisashort,chubbyman,withatotallybaldandbrownhead.)
‘Yes,’chimesinthefirstwag.‘TheCongressgangstersprovokethepoliceandgetrewardedwithfreeboardandlodging.It’sashame!IproposethattheParseeAnjuman
lodgeaformalprotestwiththeInspectorGeneralofPolice.Whyshouldwebeleftoutofeverything?’
‘Hear!Hear!’agreesthecongregation,andthumpsthearmrestsofitschairsandwoodenbenches.
‘Letusmarchtojailnow!’thewagsays,jumpingtohisfeet.Heisapaunchymanwithaverydarkskin.
Col.Bharucharaisesarestraininghand.‘Nodoubtthemeninjailareacquiringpoliticalglory…Butthisshortcuttofameandfortuneisnotforus.ItisnolongerjustastruggleforHomeRule.Itisastruggleforpower.Who’sgoingtoruleoncewegetSwaraj?Notyou,’saysthecolonel,pointingalongandaccusingfingeratusasifweareharbouringsinfulthoughts.‘Hindus,MuslimsandeventheSikhsaregoingtojockeyforpower:andifyoujokersjumpintothemiddleyou’llbemangledintochutney!’
Wiseheadsnod–Godmother’s,Electric-aunt’s,Slave-sister’s–althoughSlavesister’scanhardlybecalledwise.
‘IhopenoLahoreParseewillbestupidenoughtocourttrouble,’continuesthecolonel.‘Istronglyadviseallyoutostayathome–andoutoftrouble.’
‘Idon’tseehowwecanremainuninvolved,’saysDrMody,whosevoice,withoutaidofmike,islouderthanthecolonel’s.‘OurneighbourswillthinkwearebetrayingthemandsidingwiththeEnglish.’
‘Whichofyourneighboursareyounotgoingtobetray?’asksapracticalsoulwithanimpatientvoice.‘Hindu?Muslim?Sikh?’
‘Thatdependsuponwho’swinning,doesn’tit?’saysMrBankwalla.‘Don’tforget,wearetorunwiththehoundsandhuntwiththehare.’
‘Nooneknowswhichwaythewindwillblow,’thundersthecolonel,silencingeveryonewithhisadmirablerhetoric.‘Theremaybenotonebuttwo–oreventhree–newnations!AndtheParseesmightfindthemselveschampioningthewrongsideiftheydon’tlookbeforetheyleap!’
‘Doesitmatterwheretheylookorwheretheyleap?’enquirestheimpatientvoice.‘Ifwe’restuckwiththeHindusthey’llswipeourbusinessesfromunderournosesandsellourgrandfathersinthebargain:ifwe’restuckwiththeMuslimsthey’llconvertusbythesword!AndGodhelpusifwe’restuckwiththeSikhs!’
‘Why?WhichmaddogbittheSikhs?Whyareyousoagainstthem?’saysDrModycontentiously.
‘Ihavesomethingagainsteverybody,’declaresthevoice,impartialandveryhurt.
‘Order!Order!’saysMrBankwalla.AndCol.Bharuchaclearshisthroatsoeffectivelythatthequestions,answers,andwisecrackssubside.
‘I’lltellyouastory,’thecolonelsays,andsusceptibletostoriesthecongregationandIsitstillinourseats.
‘WhenwewerekickedoutofPersiabytheArabsthirteenhundredyearsago,whatdidwedo?Didweshoutandargue?No!’roarsthecolonel,andhastilyprovideshisownanswerbeforeanyonecaninterrupt.‘WegotintoboatsandsailedtoIndia!’
‘WhytoIndia?’atotallynewwitsittingattheendofmybenchenquires.‘IftheyhadtogosomeplacewhynotGreece?WhynottoFrance?Prettierscenery…’
‘Theydidn’tkickushardenough,’saysDrMody,withheartyregret.‘Ifonlythey’dkickedusallthewaytoCalifornia…Prettierwomen!’
Thereisaneruptionofcommentsandsuggestions.ThemeetingisturningouttobemuchmorelivelythanI’danticipated.Godmother’sbrother-in-lawrestoresorderwithhisbuilt-inmicrophone.‘Shutup!’hebellows,startlinguswiththevelocityofhisvoice.
Col.Bharuchacontinuesasifhe’snotbeeninterruptedatall.
‘Doyouthinkitwaseasytobeacceptedintoanewcountry?No!’hebooms.‘Ourforefatherswerenotgivenpermissioneventodisembark!’
‘Whataboutourforemothers?’someoneenquires.
‘Andourforeskins?’aninvisiblevoicepipesupfromtheback.
‘Mind!Thereareladieshere!’saysthecolonelsternly.Thereisalongpausenoonedaresinterrupt.Satisfiedbyoursilence,thecolonelcontinues:‘Ourforefathersandforemotherswaitedforfourdays,notknowingwhatwastobecomeofthem.Then,atlast,theGrandVazirappearedondeckwithaglassofmilkfilledtothebrim.’Helooksintentlyatourfaces.‘Doyouknowwhatitmeant?’
Knowledgeableheadsnodwisely.
‘ItwasapolitemessagefromtheIndianPrince,meaning:“No,youarenotwelcome.Mylandisfullandprosperousandwedon’twantoutsiderswithadifferentreligionandalienwaystodisturbtheharmony!”Hethoughtweweremissionaries.
‘DoyouknowwhattheZarathushtisdid?Godresttheirsouls?’
Knowingheadsnod,andamongthemIspyCousin’s.Ifeelannoyed.Iamnotprivytoinformationthatisrapidlybeingrevealedasmybirthright.EvenifGodmother,Mother,SlavesisterandElectric-auntdidnottellme,Cousinoughttohave!
Col.Bharucha,againansweringhisownquestion,continues:‘Ourforefatherscarefullystirredateaspoonofsugarintothemilkandsentitback.
‘ThePrinceunderstoodwhatthatmeant.Therefugeeswouldgetabsorbedintohiscountrylikethesugarinthemilk…Andwiththeirdecencyandindustrysweetenthelivesofhissubjects.
‘TheIndianPrincethought:whatasmartandcivilisedpeople!Andhegaveourancestorspermissiontoliveinhiskingdom!’
‘Shabash!Welldone!’saytheParsees,regardingeachotherwithadmirationandcongratulatoryself-regard.
‘But,asyousee,wehavetomovewiththetimes,’roarsthecolonel,hisoratoricalcapacitiesinfullform.‘Timestandsfornoone!’
‘Hearhear!Hearhear!’
EvenIapplaudedoncue.
‘Timeandtidewaitfornoman!’
Thunderousapplause.
‘Letwhoeverwishesrule!Hindu,Muslim,Sikh,Christian!Wewillabidebytherulesoftheirland!’
ApolitesmatteringofHearhears!Thecongregation,waftedonself-esteemandBritishproverbs,doesnotwanttobebroughtbacktoearth.
‘Aslongaswedonotinterferewehavenothingtofear!Aslongaswerespectthecustomsofourrulers–aswealwayshave–we’llbeallright!AhuraMazdahaslookedafterusforthirteenhundredyears:hewilllookafterusforanotherthirteenhundred!’
LikeEnglishproverbs,AhuraMazda’snameelicitsenthusiasm.
‘WewillcastourlotwithwhoeverrulesLahore!’continuesthecolonel.
‘IftheMuslimsshouldruleLahorewouldn’twebesafergoingtoBombaywheremostParseeslive?’asksatremulousvoiceweakenedbyathirteen-hundred-year-oldmemoryofconversionsbytheArabsword.
Aslightnervousnessstirsamidstthetimorous.Thereismuchturningofheads,shiftingonseatsandwhispering.
‘WeprosperedundertheMuslimMogulsdidn’twe?’scoldsCol.Bharucha.‘EmperorAkbarinvitedZarathushtischolarstohisdarbar:hesaidhe’dbecomeaParseeifhecould…butwegaveouroathtotheHinduPrincethatwewouldn’tproselytise–andtheParseesdon’tbreakfaith!Ofcourse,’hesays,‘thosecockerelswhowishtogotoBombaymaygo.’
‘AgainBombay?’saysthemansittingattheendofmybenchwhohadobjectedtoourcomingtoIndiainthefirstplace.‘Ifwemustpackoff,let’sgotoLondonatleast.WearetheEnglishking’ssubjectsaren’twe?So,weareEnglish!’
Thesuggestioncausesanuproar:drowned,eventually,byDrManekMody’sremarkablevoice.‘Andwhatdowedo,’heasks,‘whentheEnglishking’sVazirstands
beforeuswithaglassfullofmilk?TellhimwearebrownEnglishmen,cometosweetentheirliveswithadashofcolour?’
MrBankwalla,preciseasthecrispnewrupeenoteshehandlesatthebank,says,‘Yes.Tellhim,wecameacrossonacoalsteamer…anddropasmalllumpofcoalinthemilk.Thatwillconveytheunspokenmessageofloveandharmony.’
‘Aslongasweconductourlivesquietly,aslongaswepresentnothreattoanybody,wewillprosperrighthere,’roarsthecoloneloverthemike.
‘Yes,’saysthebanker.‘Butdon’ttrytoprosperimmoderately.And,remember:don’tevertrytoexerciserealpower.’
Thewagattheback,who’sbeenchampingatthebittobuttin,standsupandirrelevantlyshouts:‘Thosewhowantfourwivessayaye!Thosewhowantvegetarianbhatsandfartssaynay!’
Thereisaraucousmedleyofayesandnays.ThereisnothinglikeagooddoseofbathroomhumourtoputusParseesinafinemood.Itisimpossibletoconductthemeetingafterthis.
Weemergeintothesun’sbrassyblastandourfacescrinkleinself-defence.Motherremindsustorubtheashfromourforeheads.Ayahlooksasifsheismelting.Thetongamanremovesthehorse’sfeedsackandwepileintothetonga.
Chapter6
IsitonthesmallwoodenstoolandAyah’ssoapyhandsmovealloverme.Waterfromthetapfillsthebucket.Ayah,squattingbeforeme,rubsbetweenmytoes.I’mticklish.Deliberatelysherubsthesolesofmyfeetand,screaming,Ifalloffthestoolandwiggleofftheslipperyfloor.Shepinsmetothecementwithherfootanddousesmewithwaterfromthetinbucket.BythetimeI’mdried,powderedandliftedtothebedAyahisdrenched.
NowitisMother’sturn.Ayahcallsherandsheappears:willing,conscientious,devout,herheadcoveredbyagauzywhitescarfandsmellingofsandalwood.Shehasbeenpraying.
EversinceCol.BharuchatuggedatmytendonandpressedmyheeldownintheFireTemple,Mothermassagesmyleg.Iliediagonallyonthebed,mysmallraisedfootbetweenherbreasts.Sheleansforwardandpushesbacktheballofmyfoot.Sheappliesallherfragilestrengthtostretchthestubborntendon.Herflesh,likesatin,shiftsundermyfoot.Igazeather.Shadedbythescarfherfeaturesacquiresharperdefinition.Thetippedchincurvesdeeptomeetthelowerlip.Thelips,full,firm,taperfromalavish‘M’inwidewings,theiroutlineetchedwiththeclarityofcutrubies.Hernoseisslender,slightlybumped:andthetautcurveofhercheekbonesisframedbyajawasdelicatelyovalasanegg.Thehintofcoldness,commontosuchchiselledbeauty,isoverwhelmedbytheexuberantqualityofherinnocence.Ifeelsheisbeautifulbeyondbearing.
Herfirmstrokes,herhealingtouch.ThemotherlinessofMother.Itreachesfromherbendingbodyandcocoonsme.Mythighstwitch,relaxed.
Hermotherliness.HowcanIdescribeit?Whileitisthereitisall-encompassing,voluptuous.Hurt,heartacheandfearvanish.Iswim,rise,tumble,float,andbloatwithbliss.Theworldiswonderful,wondrous–andIaperfectfitinit.Butitswitchesoff,thismotherliness.Iopenmyhearttoit.Iwelcomeit.Again.Andagain.Ibegintounderstanditson-offpattern.Itistreacherous.
Mother’smotherlinesshasauniversalreach.Likeherinvoluntaryfemalemagnetismitcannotbeharnessed.Sheshowersmaternaldelightonallandsundry.Iresentthislargesse.AsFatherdoesherunconsciousandindiscriminatesexappeal.Itisaprostitutionofmyconceptofchildhoodrightsandparentalloyalties.Sheismymother–fleshofmyflesh–
andAdi’s.Shemustloveonlyus!Otherchildrenhavetheirownmotherswholovethem…Theirmothersdon’tgoaroundlovingme,dothey?
***
AportionofourhouseatthebackislenttotheShankars.Theyarenewlymarried,fatandloving.Sheislighterskinnedthanhimandhasastoutbraidthatsnugglesdownherbackandculminatesinalargesatinbow,red,blue,orwhite.AtaboutfiveeveryeveningShankarreturnsfromwork.Hetrudgesupthedrive,upalongthesideofourhouse,andsomewhereinthevicinityofourbathroomletslooseamatingcall.
‘Darling!Darling!I’vecome!’
Nomatterwhereweare,Ayah,AdiandIrushtothewindowsandpeeroutofthewirenetting.
‘Mylife!MyLord!You’vecome!’rejoicesGita,asifhisreturnisatotallyunexpecteddelight.
Athismate’sansweringcallShankarpuffsout,andfurtherdiminishingaslenderleatherbriefcasehecarriesunderhisarm,breaksintoathuddingtrot.
Becausetheirsisanarrangedmarriage,theyarenowsteamilyinlove.IdropinonGitaquiteoften.Sheisalwayscookingsomethingandmixedupwiththefumesofvegetablesandlentilsisthesteamoftheirnight-longecstasy.ItisverylikethedarkfragranceMasseur’sskilfulfingersgeneratebeneathAyah’ssari.Gitaisalwayssmiling–bubblingwithgladness.Sheisfullofstories.ShetellsmethestoryofHeerandRanjah,ofRomeoandJuliet.
Ayah,too,knowsstories.Sittingonthelawninfrontofthehouseshestretchesherlegsanddreamilychewsonabladeofgrass.Harithegardener,squattinginhisskimpyloincloth,isdiggingthesoilaroundsomerosebushes.Hemovesontotrimthegardeniahedgebythekitchen.Itisthemiddleofthedayinmid-February.
Pansies,roses,butterfliesandfragrances–thebuzzofbeesandfliesandofvoicesdriftingfromthekitchen.Theoccasionalclip-clopoftongahorsesonWarrisRoad,andbicyclebellsandcarhorns.Hawkswheelinganddistantlyshriekingbeneathamassivebluesky.IthinkofGod,Ipickupadandelionandblow.‘Helovesme–helovesmenot.Helovesme–helovesmenot…’
Ayahhums.Irecognisethetune.
‘TellmethestoryofSohniandMahiwal,’Isay.
Ayah’shumbecomeslouderandshehalfcroons,halfspeaksthePunjabifolktaleimmortalisedinverse.WedrifttoruralPunjab–toabreezestirringinwheatstalksandyellowmustardfields.Tovillagebellesweavingthroughthefieldstowells.
Ayah’seyesarelargeandeloquent,rimmedwithkohl,softwithdreams.‘BeautifulSohni–handsomeMahi-wal…’
Theirloveisdefiant,daring,touching.Theirfamiliesbitterenemies.SohniisnotallowedtomeetMahiwal.
ThewideChenabflowsbetweentheirvillages,separatingthelovers.Butlateonenight,slippingfurtivelyfromhervillage,riskingtreacherouscurrentsandfiercereprisal,Sohnifloatsacrossonaninflatedbuffalo-hidetoherlover.
Mahiwal’sdelightisboundless.Hecelebratesinrapturousoutburstsofverse.ButheisdistraughtwhenhediscovershehasnothinginthehousetofeedhisSohni.
Itistoolatetosendforsweets–thebazaarisclosed,‘Butsuchisthestrengthofhispassion–thetendernessofhislove,’saysAyahloweringherlidsoverherfarawayanddreamyeyes,‘thathecutsahankoffleshfromhisthigh,andbarbecuingitonskewers,offershisbelovedkebabs!’
Ayahcannotspeakanymore.Hervoiceischoked,hereyesstreaming,hernoseblocked.
‘Doessheeatit?’Ienquire,astonished.
‘Shegobblesitup!’saysAyah,sobbing.‘Poorthing,shedoesn’tknowwhatthekebabsaremadeof…’
Intheendthedoomedloversdie.
***
Ashout,acoupleofcurses,alaugh,breakawayfromthehumofvoicescomingfromthekitchen.Andthenarecedingpatterofbarefeet.
Theyareafterthegardener’sdhoti.
AyahandIjumpupfromthegrassandfollowingthepatteringfeetrunalongthesideofthehouseandpastGita’swindow.
‘What’shappening?’Gitacallsfromwithin.
‘They’reafterHari’sdhoti!’Ishout.
Weapproachtheservants’yardand,sureenough,seetheraggedscufflearoundHari.Hari’sspare,darkbodyisalmosthidden.AyahstopstoonesideandIdiveintothetangleoflimbsyellingforallI’mworth,contributingmymiteofrowdyismtothegeneralrow.
Yousaftheodd-jobman,Greek-profiled,curly-haired,towersmischievouslyoverHari.Everybodytowersoverthegardener–eventhesweeperMoti.I,ofcourse,amstillfarfromtowering.AsisPapoo,thesweeper’sdaughter,whocomesgallopingandwhoopingfromtheservants’courtyard,aninfantwobblingdangerouslyonherhip,andbrandishing
alongbroom.Herwide,boldmouthflashingahandsomesmilesheplungesherself,theinsouciantbabe,andthefluffybroomintothescuffle.
YousafhasagriponHari’shand–whichishangingontotheknotathiswaist.Yousafcasuallyshakesandpullsthehand,tryingtoloosenitsholdontheloin-cloth,andHari’sslight,tautbodyrocksbackandforthandfromsidetoside.
ImamDin,genial-faced,massive,towersbehindHari.Heisourcook.Hisdustyfeet,shodincurly-toedleatherslippers,areplacedflatapart.Hedrumshischest,flexeshismusclesandemitsthefiercebarrukcrieswithwhichPunjabivillagewarriorsbluff,intimidateandchallengeeachother.‘Ovay!’heroars.‘I’llchewyouupandIwon’tevenburp!’Majestically,good-naturedly,helungesattheclothbetweenthegardener’slegs.
Hariishavingahardtimefendingoffthecook’shandwithhissparearm,andalsocopingwithMoti’sslyattacks,andPapoo’sticklingbroom.Thewasherman,whohasbroughtourlaundryfortheweek,hasalsojoinedthemêlee.Wearelikeapackofpuppies,worryingandattackingeachotherinahigh-spiritedgambol.
Butweplaytorules.Hariplaysthejester–andheandIandtheyknowhewillnotbehurtordenuded.Hisdhotimightcomeapartpartially–perhapsexposeaflashofblackbuttocktospicethesport–butthishappensonlyrarely.
Itisagood-naturedrompuntilsuddenlythreeshrillandfamiliarscreechesblastmyears.‘Bitch!Haramzadi!Mayyoudie!’AndMuccho’sgraspinghandreachesfortherootofherdaughter’sbraid.Thegaunt,bitterfingerscloseonthehair,yankingcruelly,andPapoobowsbackandstaggersbackwardsatanimprobableangle.Shefallssittingonhersmallbuttocks,herlegsstraightout;stillholdingthejoltedandblinkinginfantonherhipandthebroominherhand.
‘Haram-khor!Slut!Work-shirker!Movemyeyesfromyou,andoffyougo!’shrieksMucchoinungovernablerage,rainingsharp,hardslapsonPapoo’sheadandback.
Ayahswoopsdowntosnatchtheinfanttosafety,andwithanoutstretchedlegtriestofendofftheblows.WeabandonHari.Andthemen,Hariincluded,grouparoundPapoo,settingupaprotectivebarrierofarmsandhands,andmuttering:‘Forgiveher,Muccho,she’sjustachild…You’retoohardonher…’
TheycannotphysicallyrestrainMuccho.Handlingawomannotrelatedtothemwouldbeanimpropriety.Herhusband,Moti,daresnotinterfereeither.Mucchowouldmakehislifeintolerable.Submissiveinallotherrespects,Muccho’smurderoushatredoftheirdaughtermakesherirrational.
Despitetheinterveningarms,Mucchomanagestopoundherdaughterwithherfistsandwithswift,viciouskicks.HerhandsprotectingherheadPapoorollsinaraggedballinthedust,screaming,‘Hai,I’mdead.’
IhateMuccho.Icannotunderstandhercrueltytoherowndaughter.Iknowthatsomedayshewillkillher.FromtheimprobableangleofPapoo’stwistedlimbs,I’msureshehasalreadydoneso.
Papooliesdeathlystill,crumpledinadustyheap.Ayah,holdingMuccho’ssononherhip,dipsherpalloointoamugofwaterandspongesthedustfromPapoo’slifelessface.‘Idon’tknowwhatjinngetsintohereverytimesheseesPapoo,’shedeclares.‘Evenastepmotherwouldbekinder…Afterall,what’stheinnocentchilddonethat’ssoterrible?’
‘Whatdoyouknow?’Mucchoscreams.‘She’snoinnocent!She’sacurse-of-a-daughter…Disobedient,bonelazy,loosecharactered…she’llshameus.She’llbethedeathofme,thewhore!’
‘Howcanshebeyourdeath?You’vealreadykilledher!’saysImamDin.
ImamDinrarelyshowsangerandhisharshnessintimidatesMuccho.Afraidshemighthavegonetoofar,sheshakesPapoo’sshoulderroughly,asiftoawakenherfromsleep.‘She’llbeallright:don’tcarryonso,’shetellsImamDin.
‘Oye,Papoooo…Oye,doll,’shesayswithaffectedaffection.‘Comeon,getup.’
ShelaysPapoo’sheadonherthighandpinchinghercheeksforceshermouthopen.PapooshowsthewhitesofhereyesasMucchopourswaterbetweenherteethfromthemugAyahbrought.
SuddenlyMucchocurses–andshiesasifblinded.Papooisspittingafinesprayofwaterstraightintoherface.AsMucchoraisesherhandtolashoutPapooleapsup,miraculouslywhole.Skippingnimblyfromhermother’slunges,Papoojerksherboyishhipsandmakesdark,grinningfacesandrudeandmockingsoundsandgestures.Allatonceshepretendstogolimpand,againrollinghereyesuptoshowtheirwhites,crumplesdefencelesstotheground;andthenspinninglikeabundleofragsinagale,flingingherlimbsabout,twistsawayfromMuccho’seagerclutches;dodging,jeering,nowtantalisinglyclose,nowjustoutofreach.PapooisnotlikeanygirlIknow.Certainlynotliketheotherservants’children,whoarebrowbeatenintoearlysubmission.Sheisstrongandhigh-spirited,andit’snoteasytobreakherbody…Buttherearesubtlerwaysofbreakingpeople.
‘WaittillIfixyou,youshaitan!Youchoorail!’Mucchoscreamsvindictively.‘You’vegotajinninyou…butI’llknockitoutorI’mnotyourmother!JustyouseewhatIhaveinstoreforyou…It’llputyouright!You’llscreamtothedead…Mayyoudie!’
WelaughatPapoo’sfeigning–andherfunnyfaces–andhermother’sranting.ThemenstarttodriftawayandPapoo,followedbyacursing,shriekingMucchoaimingstonesather,imitatesmylimp–andlurchinghorribly,runsoutontheroad.
Papoo,recognisingthemanipulativepowerofmylimp–andperhapsempathisingwithmycondition,sometimesaffectsit.Sheneverdoessooutofanymalice.Besidesshe
knowsitaggravatesMucchonoend.
Chapter7
AyahcallsImamDintheCatcher-in-the-kitchen.Hesitsinacorneronawickerstoolneartheopenpantrydoorandgrabsanythingsoftthatentersthekitchen.Sittingit,him,orher,onhislaphegentlyrocks.Ayah,I,Adi,Papoo,strayhens,pups,kittensandRosyandPeterfromnextdoorhaveallhadourturn.RosyandIarebewilderedbyImamDin’sbehaviour.AdiandPeter,belongingperhapstothesamespecies,arelessconfusedandmoreaggressive.
OnedayIcomeuponadazedRosyrockingdizzilyonImamDin’slapandIpullheroff.‘Don’tdothat,youdamnfool!’Isay,unleashingmybottled-upfury.‘Whydoyoudothat!’
ImamDingivesasheepishgrin,geniallypullsusbothsquirmingonhislap,offersuspuffsfromhishookahandproceedstotellusweshouldnotmind.Itiswhatheplayfullycallsonlyalittle‘masti’–abitofnaughtiness.
Andhetellsme,‘Lennybaby,don’tswear–swear-wordsdon’tbecomeyou.’
Iknow.Adicanswearandit’sabigjoke.Rosycancurseandlookcute.Papoocanletflyastringofinvective,comparedtowhichthetongawallah’sinvectivesoundslikealullaby,andmanagestoappearstunninglyroguish.AndIcannotevensayadamned‘damnfool’withoutbeingtolditdoesnotsuitme!
ImamDinpossessesasixthsense–asensitiveantennathatbeamshimachartofourmovements.AndnomatterhowstealthilyAyahorIsneakintothekitchen,heisreadytopounce.HeknowsexactlywhoitisandheneverpouncesonMotherorYousaforHari.Orus,ifwearefollowedbyanyofthem.
ImamDinistoleratedbecauseofthegreybristlesinhiscloselycroppedhair.Theypermithimtogetawaywithlibertiesthatinayoungermanwouldprovoke,ifnotthewrathofGod,atleastdireconsequencesfromAyah.Asitis,GodlookstheotherwayandAyahmerelypullsawayfromhimsaying,‘Haveyounoshame?Lookatyourgreyhairs…FearGod,atleast!’
ImamDinistall,big-bellied,barrel-chested,robust:hebicyclestwentymilestoandfromhisvillageonceamonthtoimpregnatehisfourthwife.Happilyheisthreetimeswidowedandfourtimeswed.Heisthemostrespectedelderinhisvillage;andhisbenigntemperamentandwisdomhaveearnedhimapositionofrespectinourhouseandamong
theotherservantsonWarrisRoad.Heissixty-fiveyearsold.Nowyouseewhyheisallowedacertainlatitude?Indulgedeven,youmightsay?
Rockingapart,Ilikehimandtaketohimmycomplaints.SodoesAyah.Heisafairandimaginativearbitrator–andwhenAdigrowsupabit,andIgrow,andAdiresolutelypeepsthroughacrackinthebathroomdoorwithasingle-mindeddeterminationthatislikeanelementalforce,ImamDinistheonlyonewhocanhandlehim.
TwiceImamDinhastakenmetohisvillage.Ihaveonlyavaguerecollectionofpleasurablesensations.Iwastooyoungthen.
Itisnotyetwinter.IhavebeenbadgeringImamDinforthepastweektotakemeonhisnextjunkettohisvillagehome.
‘Lennybaby,I’mnotgoingtomyvillage,’hesays,sighingheavily.‘Ineedtogotomygrandson,DostMohammad’s,village.It’stoofar…PirPindoiswaybeyondAmritsar…FortymilesfromLahoreasthecrowflies!’
‘Itmaybetoofarforalittlecrow;butit’snottoofarforastrongoldoxlikeyou,’saysAyah.Sheistoastingphulkas(miniaturechapatties)ontheglowingcoalfireanddeftlyflippingthemwithtongs.‘Poorchild,’shesays.‘Shewantssomuchtogo…Itwon’tbreakyourbacktotakeher.’
‘Notonlymyback,mylegstoo!’saysImamDin.‘I’mnotsoyounganymore…I’llhaveaheartattackmerelyconveyingmyselfthere.’
‘Goonwithyou!’saysAyah.‘Youshouldtalkofgrowingold!I’llknowthatwhenIknowthat!’
‘I’llneverbetoooldtobotheryou,’murmursImamDin,sighing,pushinghishubble-bubbleawayandadvancingfromhiscorneronAyah.
Ayahwhirls,tong-handed,glowingironpointedatImamDin.
‘Arreybaba…’saysImamDinhunchinghisshouldersandholdinghishandsoutdefensivelyinfront.‘Istillhaven’trecoveredfromthelasttimeyouscarredme.Aren’tyouashamed…burningandmaimingaharmlessoldmanlikeme?’
‘Iknowwho’sharmlessandwhoisn’t!Goon,sitdown!’shecommands.
ImamDincollapsesmeeklyinhiscorneranddrawingdeeplyonthehookah,causingthewaterinthesmoke-filtertogurgle,offersherapuff.
ButAyahisinadeterminedmood.‘Willyoutakeherwithyouornot?’shedemands,tongsinhand:andImamDincapitulates.
‘Arreybaba,you’reaHitler!I’lltakeher.Eventhoughmybacksnapsintwo!Eventhoughmylegsfalloff!I’lltakeher.’
‘Sheweighslessthanthisphulka,’saysAyahturningherbackonusandtossingathindiskofwheatonthefireuntilitisswollenwithtrappedair.
ThenextmorningAyahwakesmeupwhenitisstillnight.Shehelpsmetodressquietly:wrestlingmyarmsintolastyear’scoatandmyearsintoahorriblepinkpeaked-capElectric-auntknittedmetwoyearsago.ImamDinandAyahhaveasmallaltercationinthekitchen.Rather,AyahscoldsandImamDinonlyprotestsandpacifiesaffably.Idon’tknowwhattheargumentisabout,butIcanguess.ImamDinmusthaveattemptedwithsomepartofhisanatomytheseductionIce-candy-manconductswithhistoes–withlessaudacityperhaps:andperhapswithlessingenuity–but,atlast,Ayahisappeased–andproperlyapologisedto–andwecycledownourdrivewiththefirstfaintsmudgeofdawndilutingthenight.
IsitonasmallseatattachedtothebarinfrontofImamDinandhislegs,likesturdypistons,propelusatastaidandunalteringpacethroughthegulliesandhuddledbazaarsbehindQueensRoad,thenalongtheMallpastthestatelypinksprawloftheHighCourt,andtheconstrictedalleysrunningononesideofFather’sshop.Itisanilluminatingexperience–myfirstglimpseoftheawakeningmetropolisoftwomillionbestirringitselftofaceanewday.
Atthecrackofdawn,Lahore,thecityknownasthegardenoftheMoguls,turnsintoatoilet.Creepingsleepilyoutofsaggingtenementsandhovelsthepopulacesquatsalongalleywaysandunpavedstreetedgesfacingcrumblingbrickwalls–andthindarkstainstricklebetweentheirfeethalfwaydownthealleys.
Cyclebellringing,ImamDinandIperambulatethroughtheprofusionofbaredLahoribottoms.IhangontothehandlebarsaswewobbleimperturbablyoverpotholespastaviewofbacksidesthedarkhueofPunjabisoil–andthesmooth,plumpspheresofyoungwomenwhohidetheirfacesintheirveilsandbaretheirbottoms.Theearlyriserssquatbeforetheirmugs,lostintheprivatecontemplativeworldoftheirablutions,andonlythechildrenfacethestreetunabashed,turningtheirheadsandbrighteyestolookatus.
PastDataSahib’sshrine,pasttheenormousmarbledomesoftheBadshahimosquefloatinginagreymist,andjustbeforewecrosstheRavibridgewerattlethroughthesmallPathansectionoftown.NowIseeonlyfiercetribesmenfromthenorthernfrontiersaroundtheKhyberandBabusarPasseswhodescendtotheplainsinsearchofwork.TheyleavetheirfamiliesbehindinflintyimpoverishedvalleysconcealedinthearidandmassivetumultoftheKarakorams,theHinduKushandtheHimalayas.Theycanaffordtovisitthemonlyeverytwoorthreeyears.Thetribesmen’sbroad,baredbacksidesaremuchpaler,andsplotchedwithred,andstrongdarkhairgrowsdowntheirbacks.InplaceofmugstherearesmallmoundsofstoneandscrapsofnewspaperandImamDinsniffs:‘Whatmannerofpeoplearethesewhodon’tcleantheirarseswithwater?’
AparticularlypalebottomarrestsImamDin’sattention.Theskinispink,stillfreshandtinglingfromcoldmountainwinds.
‘So.WehaveanewPathanintown!’hemusesaloud.
Atthatmomentthemountainmanturnshishead.Hedoesnotliketheexpressiononourfaces.Fulloffuryhesnarlsandspitsatus.
‘WelcometoLahore,brother,’ImamDincalls.
MonthslaterIrecognisethefacewhenIseeSharbatKhan,stilltouchyandbewildered,bentintentlyoverhiswhirringmachineashesharpensknivesintheMozangChawkbazaar.
Thesunisup,dispellingthemist.Filthywithdust,exhausted,werollintoWagah,avillagehalfwaytoAmritsar.Wehavecoveredsixteenmiles.I’vestoppedtalking.ImamDinisbreathingsohardI’mafraidhereallywillhaveaheartattack.Hepedalsslowlydowntheruttedbazaarlaneand,lettingthecycletilttooneside,stopsatateastall.
Afterabreakfastoffriedparathasandeggswegetarideatopastackofhayinabullock-cart.ImamDinstretchesanarmacrosshisbicycle,andlulledbythecreakingrhythmofwoodenwheels,wefallasleep.TwomilesshortofPirPindothecart-driverprodsusawakewithhiswhip.
Werattlealongapathrunningbetweenirrigationditchesandmustardfields.Aswecutthroughacornfieldasmallboy,followedbythreebarkingdogs,hurtlesoutofthedeepeninglightgatheredinthestalks.Hechasesus,shouting,‘Oye!Whoareyou?Oye!What’reyouupto?Oye!Cornthief!Cornthief!’
Thecyclewobblesdangerously.Cursing,ImamDinkicksout.Aribbypupyelps,andbacksaway.ImamDinroars:‘Oye,turdofDostMohammad!Don’tyourecogniseyourgreat-grandfather?’
Rannastopsshort,peeringatusoutofsmall,wide-seteyes.Hebendstoscrapesomeclayfromthetrackandthrowsitatthedogs,shooingthemaway.Heapproachesusgingerly,awkwardly.Heisalittletallerthanme.Hisskinisalmostblackinthedusk.Healreadyhassmallmusclesonhisarmsandshoulders.Awell-proportionedbody.Butwhatattractsmemostishisbelly-button.Itprotrudesaninchfromhisstomach,likeatruncatedandcheekyfinger.(Later,whenheseesmewalk,Icantellheisequallytakenbymylimp.)
AssoonasRannaiswithinrangeImamDinministerstwoquickspankstohishead;and,thepunishmentdispensed,introducesus.‘Saysalaamtoyourguest,oye,mannerlessfellow!’
Rannastaresatme,hismouthslack.Histeethareverywhite,andalittlecrowdedinfront.
‘Haven’tyouseenacitygirlbefore?’ImamDinrapsRanna’sheadlightly.Rannaflinches.‘Whyaren’tyouwearingashirt,oye?Shamelessbugger…Gotellyourmotherwearehere.Wewantsupper.TellDostMohammadwe’rehere.’BothDostMohammadandChiddaareImamDin’sgrandchildren.Muslimcommunitiesliketokeeptheirgirlsinthefamily;somarriagesbetweenfirstcousinsarecommon.
Rannaappearstoflyinhisskimpydrawers,thepalesolesofhisfeetkickingupdustashedissolvesdownthepath.
InRanna’svillagewedwellclosetotheearth.Sittingonthefloorweeatoffclayplates,withourfingers,andsleeponmatsspreadontheground,breathingtheearth’sodour.
ThenextmorningRannaandIrompinthefields,andRanna,fascinated,copiesmylimp.Iknow,then,thatlikePapoo,hereallycaresforme.Ilethimlimpwithoutcomment.Inreturn,heshowsmehowtomouldareplicaofhisvillagewithdung.And,lookinggenerouslyandintentlyintomyeyes,permitsmetofeelhisbelly-button.Itevenfeelslikeafinger.
Hissisters,KhatijaandParveen,barelytwoorthreeyearsolderthanus,alreadyweartheresponsibleexpressionsofmucholderwomen.Liketheothergirlsinthevillage,theyaffectthemannerismsandtoneoftheirmotherandaunts.Theyareprettygirls,withlarge,sereneeyesandaskininclinedtoflush.Painfullyshyofme,theyaredistressed–andperplexed–bythedisplayofmytwig-likelegsbeneathmyshortdress.(Idon’twearmycallipersasmuchnow.)Theydon’tknowwhattomakeofmycroppedhaireither.Busywithchores,basketsofgrainstucktotheirtinyhips,theyscuttleaboutimportantly.
EveryshortwhileRannasuspendsplaytoruntohismother.Chiddaiscookingattheclayhearthintheircourtyard;shefeedshersonandmescrapsofchapattidippedinbuttermilk.
LaterinthebluewinterafternoonabunchofbeardedSikhpeasants,theirlonghairwrappedinlooseturbansorinformallydisplayedintop-knots,visitPirPindo.TheyarefromDeraTekSingh,aneighbouringvillage.ThemenofPirPindo–thosewhoarenotoutworkinginthefields–comefromtheirbarnsandcourtyardsandsitwiththeSikhsinathickcirclebeneathahugesheeshamstandinginapatchofwildgrass.
Theroughgrasspricksmybottomandthighs.Rannahassidledintohisfather’slap.PromptedbyImamDin,hewearsabuttonlessshirthehasclearlyoutgrown.IsitbetweenDostMohammadandJagjeetSingh;aplump,smiling,bow-leggedSikhpriest,agranthi.KhatijaandParveen,lookinglikeminiaturewomenofeightandnine,theirheadsmodestlycovered,bringuspilesoffragrantcornbreadfriedinbutterandasteamingclaypotofspicymustard-greens.IseethewisdomoftheirbaggyshalwarsandlongkamizesasIfidgetinthegrass,tuggingatmydress.
TheSikhgranthi,grey-beardedandbenign,beckonsthegirls,and,shyeyeslowered,theycometohim.Hestrokestheircoveredheadsandsays,inPunjabi,‘Maytheseven
gurusblessyouwithlonglives.’Hedrawsthemtohimaffectionately.‘EverytimeIseeyou,youappeartohavegrowntaller!We’llhavetothinkaboutarrangingyourmarriagessoon!’HeleansacrossmeandaddressesDostMohammad.‘Don’tyouthinkit’stimetheirhandswerepaintedyellow?’
JagjeetSinghhasalludedtothehenna-decoratedhandsofMuslimbrides.Thesistersducktheirheadsandhidetheirmouthsintheirveils.Rannafindsthesuggestionoutrageouslyfunny.Slippingfromhisfather’slap,hisbelly-buttonpointedatthemlikeajabbingfinger,hejumpsupanddown.‘Marriedwomen!’hechortles.‘Ho!Ho!Marriedwomen!’
Alreadypractisedintheconducttheyhaveabsorbedfromthevillagewomen,thegirlstrynottosmileorgiggle.Theymusthaveheardtheirmotherandaunts(asIhave),say:‘Hasitophasi!Laugh(and),getlaid!’I’mnotsurewhatitmeans–andI’msuretheydon’teither–buttheyknowthatsmilingbeforemencanleadtodisgrace.
Wehaveeatenandbelched.Thehookah,stokedwithfreshtobacco,isbeingpassedamongtheMuslimvillagers.(Sikhsdon’tsmoke.)Inthesatedlullthevillagemullahclearshisthroat.‘Mybrothers,’hesays.Andasoureyesturntohim,runningfrailfingersthroughhissilkywhitebeard,hesays,‘Ihearthereistroubleinthecities…HindusarebeingmurderedinBengal…Muslims,inBihar.It’sstrange…theEnglishSarkarcan’tseemtodoanythingaboutit.’
Nowthathehasstartedtheballrolling,themullahraiseshiswhiteeyebrowsinaforeheadthatisalmosttranslucentwithage.Helooksabouthimwithanxious,questioningeyes.
Thevillagechaudhry–sittingbyImamDinandthemullah–says,‘Idon’tthinkitisbecausetheycan’t…IthinkitisbecausetheSarkardoesn’twantto!’Heisalargeman,asbig-belliedandbroad-beamedasImamDin,butatleasttwentyyearsyounger.Hehaslarge,clearblackeyesandanimposingcleftinhischin.Ashetalks,heslowlystrokeshisthick,up-twirledmoustache:withoutwhichnovillageheadmancanlooklikeachaudhry.‘Butallthatisinthecities,’hecontinues,asifhehasconsideredtheissueforsometime.‘Itwon’taffectourlives.’
‘I’venotcomeallthiswaywithoutareason,’saysImamDin.Thevillagers,whoarewonderingwhyheisvisitingthem,lookathimattentively.Herubshisfacewithbothhands;asifitpainshimtostatethereason.‘Idon’tthinkyouknowhowseriousthingsaregettinginthetowns.Slykillings;riotingandbatonchargesbythepolice…longmarchesbymobs…TheCongress-wallahshavestartedanewstunt…theysitdownontherailtracks–womenandchildren,too.Thepoliceliftthemoffthetracks…Butoneofthesedaysthesteamengineswillrunoverthem…Oncearoused,theEnglisharesavages…
‘ThenthereisthisHindu-Muslimtrouble,’hesays,afterapause.‘Uglytrouble…Itisspreading.Sikh-Muslimtroublealso…’
Thevillagers,SikhandMuslim,eruptinprotest.
‘Brother,’theSikhgranthisayswhenthetumultsubsides,‘ourvillagescomefromthesameracialstock.MuslimorSikh,wearebasicallyJats.Wearebrothers.Howcanwefighteachother?’
‘BareyMian,’saysthechaudhry,givingImamDinhisdueasarespectedelder,‘I’malerttowhat’shappening…Ihavearadio.ButourrelationshipswiththeHindusareboundbystrongties.Thecityfolkcanaffordtofight…wecan’t.Wearedependentoneachother:boundbyourtoil;byMandipricessetbytheBanyas–they’reourcommonenemy–thosecityHindus.Tousvillagers,whatdoesitmatterifapeasantisaHindu,oraMuslim,oraSikh?’
ImamDinnods.Thereisasubtlechangeinhisface;helookscalmer.‘AslongasourSikhbrothersarewithus,whathavewetofear?’hesays,speakingtothegranthi,andincludingtheotherSikhswithaglance.‘Ithinkyouareright,brothers,themadnesswillnotinfectthevillages.’
‘Ifneedsbe,we’llprotectourMuslimbrotherswithourlives!’saysJagjeetSingh.
‘IampreparedtotakeanoathontheHolyKoran,’declaresthechaudhry,‘thateverymaninthisvillagewillguardhisSikhbrotherswithnoregardforhisownlife!’
‘Wehavenoneedforoathsandsuch,’saysthemullahinafragileelderlyvoice.‘Brothersdon’trequireoathstofulfiltheirduty.’
Later,whenthemullah’svoicecallstheeveningprayer,andtheSikhshavebeguntosaunteracrossthefieldstotheirvillage,DostMohammadcarrieshissontoasmallbrickmosquewithagreendomeinthecentreofPirPindo.Istaybackwiththewomen.
***
Weareduetoleaveinanhour.Chiddahasawakenedearlytopreparebreakfast.Isitonthefloorcrosslegged,eatingmyparathaandomelette.Parveenshufflesclosertome.Withextremedelicacy,herfaceflushedandconfiding,shewhispersintomyear.Ittakesmeawhiletorealise,sheisaskingifmyhairwascutonaccountoflice.
‘Ofcoursenot!’Isay.Idon’tcarewhohearsme.‘It’sthecityfashion.’Iglareather.‘Evenmymother’shairisshort.’
Chidda,squattingbythehearth,summonsherdaughter.Rappingherontheheadshesays:‘Whotoldyoutobeuncivil?Whotoldyoutoaskquestions?Haven’tItaughtyoutomindyourtongue?Go!Getoutofmysight!’shesays.Rannaquicklygrabshissister’sshareofthebreakfast.
Abunchofvillagersaccompaniesusforamile,wheelingImamDin’sbicycleforhimaswewalk.IleavePirPindowithaheavyheartandaguiltyconscience.
Chapter8
WhenIreturnfromImamDin’svillagetotheelevatedworldofchairs,tablesandtoiletseats,ImamDincontinueshiseffortstokeepontherightsideofAyah.Sheisthegreatestinvoluntaryteacherever.Hepliesherwithbeautifullyswollenphulkashotoffthegriddle,slatheredwithbutterfatandsprinkledwithbrownsugar.Hepreparesseparateanddeliciousvegetariandishesforher.Infactheis,toalargeextent,responsibleforhersphericalattractions.Wherewouldshebewithouthisextraservingsofbutter,yoghurt,curryandchapatti?Wouldn’tshelooklikealltheotherstringy,half-starvedwomeninIndiawhomonelooksatonlyonce–andneverturnsaroundtolookattwice?
HecontinuestoappeaseAdiandmewithdizzyinginhalationsfromhishookah;andchickengibletsandliver,turnbyturn,onthoseoccasionswhenmyparentshaveguestsandhecookschicken.
Myparentsentertainoften:andwhenguestsareexpectedwearefedearly.AdiandIsitacrosstheoilclothonasmalltableagainstthewall,awayfromthesilvercutleryandembroidereddinnercloth.Yousaffoldsthestarchedwhitenapkinsintofancypeacocksandstuffstheirpropsintolong-stemmedcrystalglasses.Flowersblazeinsilvervases.
Glitterandglory,butverylittlefood.Weknowtheguestswillbeserveddelectablebutsmallportions.
Wehavealreadysharedthechickenliver,andtodayitismyturnforthesinglegiblet.Iplaceitonaside-plate,savingitfortheendwhenIcanchewandsuckonitforlonguninterruptedmoments.InoticethemovementofAdi’seyeballsunderhislidsastheysneaktothecorners,peeratthegibletandslipback.Thisonlyenhancesthequalityofmypossession.Iamatpeace–thereishonourevenamongthieves–andthefearofreprisal.Icasuallyplacemylefthandabovetheplateandmanoeuvreittoshieldthegiblet.Idon’twishtoputunduestrainonAdi’shonour.
Asithappens,theprecautionisunnecessary.IraiseaglassofwatertomylipsandAdi’sswifthandstrikes.Thegibletisjammedintohismouthandswallowedwhole.Histhroatworkslikeaboaconstrictor’sandhisfaceturnsred.Igrabathismouthandheopensitwide,saying‘Aaaaaa!’
Thereisnothinglefttoretrieve.
Whathurtsmemostishimswallowingmygibletlikeapill.Noteventastingit.Itisanaffronttomysenseoffairplay.Igrabhishairandletoutablood-curdlingshriekthatbringsMotherrushingfromthedrawingroomandYousaf,ImamDinandAyahfromthekitchen.
MotherspanksAdi,andAdi,cursingandfightingback,ispickedupbyYousafandspiritedawayintothedarknessoutside.
Ayahcarriesmescreamingintothekitchenandproceedstosplashmyfaceatthesink.ImamDinpopsachickenheartintomymouth.YousafcarriesAdibacktothekitchen.Adi’smouthisworking.Ittoohashadsomethingpoppedintoit.Iwonderwhat?Anuneasytruceiscontemplatedaswescrutiniseeachother’sruminatingmouths.Ashortwhilelaterwheneveryoneisbusypreparingdinnerweslipunobservedbeneaththedinnertable,friendsagain.
Wehavedonethisinnumerabletimes.Onewouldimaginethatsomeonemightthinktolookunderthetableandchaseusawaybeforedinnerisserved.
Thetableissupportedbystandsofpolishedwood.Thestandsareheldtobyabeamwhichrunssixinchesabovethefloor.Weroostquietlyonthebeamincloth-screenedtwilight,amidstadisplayoftrousercuffs,sariborders,ankles,shoesandamedleyoffragrance.
RosyandPeter’sparentsarepresent:wecantellbytheirlegs.Hisarecrossedattheankles,smellfranklyofcow-dungandarepronetoshakeinandoutattheknees.Hersareplantedsolidlysidebysidebeneathhersari.Peter’sfatherisaturbanedandbeardedSikh.Heisnotpermittedtocuthishairorshave–noteventhehairofhisarmpitsorcrotch.Peterhastoldusthis.
TheirmotherisAmerican.Shetiesherblondehairbackinasevereknotandalwayswearsawhitecottonsariwithwideborders.SometimesIfeelshedoublesasoneofthemarchingSalvationArmyband-women.Sheisgreen-eyedandverywhiteandplacidandother-worldly.Shecarriesonwithwhateversheisdoing–whichisforthemostpartamystery–andpaysscantattentiontotheworld.Nothingthatherchildren,orherhusband,docanwipetheplacidlookfromherfaceordisturbherunhurriedmovements.
Herhusbandisnotabadman.MrSinghdoesnotbeatherorwhite-slavetrafficinher.ButhehashabitsthatwoulddriveMotherupthewall…I’veheardhersayso.Heroamsonlonghairylegsinloosecottondrawers,barefoot.Hemilkshiswaterbuffalohimself.HeconversesloudlyinvituperativePunjabiandheclearshisthroatandspitsaround–generallyconductinghimselflikeacoarseJatinavillage.MotherexpectsmorerefinedconductfromamanmarriedtoanAmericanwoman.
Theyareinfrequentguests.
Thisappearstobeaneveningdedicatedtoneighbourlybrotherliness.TheotherguestsarefromtheBirdwoodBarracks:InspectorGeneralofPoliceandMrsRogers.Heistall,colourless,hefty-moustached,pale-eyebrowed;andshe,soft,pretty,plumpandsubmissive–withafascinatingproclivitytocleanoutandaroundherchildren’searswithahandkerchiefdampenedwithspit.
Theirtwochildrenareyoungerthanus.Theonlyreasonwecountenancethematallisbecauseoftheirglowingears.
Thereareonlyfourgueststodinnertonight,plusmyparents–whichmakessix.Fathercalculatessixportionstoachicken.Hencethesinglegiblet.
MeanwhileFatherhaslaunchedhisemergency-measuresjoke.
ABritishsoldierandaturbanednativefindthemselvessharingacompartment.TheyaretravellingbytheKhyberMailtoPeshawar.TheIndianliftsabottleofScotchtohismouthfrequently.Hedoesnotofferanytothesoldier.WhentheIndianleavesthecompartmentforamomentthesoldierstealsahastydraughtfromthebottle.
AgaintheIndiangoesout,andthetommysneaksanotherswig.
Theygettotalking.ThesoldierconfideshetookadrawortwofromtheIndian’sbottleofScotch.‘Sinceyoudidn’tofferittome,oldchap,Ihelpedmyself!’hesayscompanionably.
Thenativeisaghast.
‘Butthatismyurineinthebottle!’heexclaims.‘Myhakimprescribeditasacureforsyphilis…’
Poorsoldier.
FatherandMotherhootwithlaughter.TheirSikhguestisinguffaws.Andtwice,unabletoconstrainhisappreciation,MrSinghinsertstwofingersinhismouthandemitspiercingwhistles.HisAmericanwife,Ithink,titters.
IcannotseethembutIdoubtiftheRogersmanageevenasmile.AllIsee–andbarelyescape–isaviciouslittlekicktheInspectorGeneralofPolicegivesthebeam.Hisboots,smellingfaintlyofhorse-dungandstronglyofshoepolish,keepstabbingthewood.
Fatheraddsapostscript:‘Youknow–Ilearnttheotherday–therewasnosyphilisinIndiauntiltheBritishcame…’
‘Youwon’tbeabletoblameeverythingonusforlong,oldchap,’saysInspectorGeneralRogers.‘Thatoldbugger,Gandhi,isuptohisoldbagoftricks.’
‘WewillhaveSwaraj!’declaimsMrSinghindeafeningbelligerence.AsiftheEnglishman,insteadofhintingattheprematuredepartureoftheBritish,hasjustdeniedhimHomeRule.
‘Youthinkyou’llbeuptoit,oldchap?’saysMrRogerssnidely.
‘Whynot?’shoutsMrSinghasifheisarguingwiththeInspectorofPoliceacrossahockeyfield.‘IamuptorulingyouandyourEmpire!YourecruitallourSikhsoldiersintoyourWorldWarNumberTwoandwewinthewarforyou!WhyforethenyouthinkwecannotdoHomeRule?’
MrSingh’sbroadPunjabiaccentandloudvoiceneverfailtoannoyMother.ShemusthaveindicatedherdispleasurewithsomegesturebecauseMrsSinghplacidlysays,‘Don’tshout,dear.’
‘Iamnotshouting!’hollersMrSingh.‘I’mtellingthisman:QuitIndia!Gandhijeeisonafast,’hewarnsthepoliceofficer.‘Ifhedies,hisbloodwillbeonyourhead!’
‘ThatwilyBanyaisanexpertonfastinguntodeathwith-outdying,’saystheheftilymoustachedpolicemandemurely.
‘Andwhatifhedies?’questionsMrSinghrighteously.‘Youmarkmyword.Onedayhewilldie!Thenwhatyouwilldo?’
‘I’lltellyouwhatI’lldo.I’llcelebrate!’saystheInspectorGenerallosinghispatience.
‘Youwillnotcelebrate!Youknowwhy?Becauseriversofyourbloodwillflowinourgutters!’saysMrSinghinasarcasticsing-song.Heshakeshiskneesinandoutinanengagingrhythmandbangshisfistonthetable.IcantellbytheswiftlittlestabsoftheInspectorGeneral’sshoeonthewoodthathetooisangry.
‘Riversofbloodwillflowallright!’heshouts,almostasloudlyasMrSingh.‘NehruandtheCongresswillnothaveeverythingtheirway!TheywillhavetoreckonwiththeMuslimLeagueandJinnah.IfwequitIndiatoday,oldchap,you’llbloodyfallateachother’sthroats!’
‘Hindu,Muslim,Sikh:weallwantthesamething!Wewantindependence!’
InspectorGeneralRogersrecovershisImperialphlegm.‘Mydearman,’heintones,‘don’tyouknowtheCongresswon’tagreeonasingleissuewiththeMuslimLeague?TheCabinetMissionproposedaFederationoftheHinduandMuslimmajorityprovinces.Jinnahacceptedit;GandhiandNehrudidn’t!
‘TheyevenrejectedLordWavell’ssuggestionforanInterimGovernmentwithamajorityCongressrepresentation!They’relikethethreebloodymonkeys!Theyrefusetohear,orseethatJinnahhasthebackingofseventymillionIndianMuslims!ThosearrogantHindushaveblownthelastchanceforanundividedIndia…GandhiandNehruareforcingtheLeaguetopushforPakistan!’
‘Andwherewillthisso-calledPakistanbe?’enquiresourSikhneighbourwithwitheringandsnickeringsarcasm.
‘TheywanttheMuslimmajorityprovinces:Punjab,Sind,Kashmir,theNorthWestandBengal,’repliesthepoliceofficer,asifcoachingabackwardchild.IcanimaginethehaughtyflareofhisEnglishnostrils.
‘Theyareonlysayingthattobeinabetterbargainingpositionandyouarestringingthemalongbecauseofyourdivide-and-rulemonkeytricks!’accusesMrSingh.‘Youalwayssetoneupagainsttheother…YoujustgiveHomeRuleandsee.Wewillsettleourdifferencesandeverything!’
‘Whowill?MasterTaraSingh?’Itisacontemptuous,curl-of-the-liptoneofvoice.
‘Yes.Heismyleader.Iwillobeyhim!’MrSinghsaysthissoquietlyandfirmlythatforamomentIwonderifsomeoneelsehasspokeninhisstead.
TheInspectorGeneralmakesaverypeculiarsound.Thenhesays,‘TheAkalisareabloodybunchofmurderingfanatics!’
EvenIcantellit’satactlessthingtosay.
MrSingh’srhythmicallyknockingkneesgrowperfectlystill.Inonequickmovement,drawinghislegstohischair,almostknockingitover,hestandsup.Everybody’sfeetmakeerraticmoves.AdiandI,terrifiedofdiscovery,retractourlegsandcowerinhunched-upbundles.
Fatherhasstoodupalso.IhearhimsayinPunjabi:‘Oye,sitdown,Sardarjee…Isay,yaar,don’tmindtheAngrezSahib.Hedoesn’tknow…’
ButbeforeFathercanfinishthesentenceMrSinghcutsin:‘Ohyes?Heknowsverywell!’andoneofhislegscompletelydisappears.Thereisaclatterofcrockery,aheavythumpoverourheads,andthreevariouslypitchedfeminine‘Oh’s!MrSinghmusthaveleanedclearacrossthetable.
‘Jana!Taketheforkaway!’Mothershouts.
‘Don’tyoudaretouchhim!’screamsMrsRogershysterically.‘Oh!He’llblindhim!’
‘Putthatforkaway,dear,’saysMrsSingh,hervoicequaveringintheefforttosoundfirm.
IrealisewithalittlethrillofexcitementrunningupmyspinethatMrSinghhastriedtostabtheEnglishman’seyeswithafork:andsinceMrRogershasnotcriedout,theattempthasfailed.Nobloodhassofarbeenshed.
Father’slegsskittlebehindMrSingh’ssolitaryleg.Thereisabriefscufflingsound.Apieceofcutleryfallsclatteringonthetabletop.MrRogersremainsdisappointinglyquiet.ObviouslyMrSinghhasbeende-forked.ThenMrSingh’swidebuttpoundsdownonthecane-bottomeddiningchair.
‘Tellhimtoapologise!’heroars,almostwailing,shufflingonhisseat.
‘Gotohell,youfathairyslob!’spitsthepoliceofficer,hisshortbreathbetrayinghisjoltednerves.
‘Please,’pleadsMother.‘Pleaseapologise.’
IcanvisualiseMother’shandontheInspector’sarm.None,exceptFather,canresisthertouch.
Thereisatensepause.
‘Oh,allright…I’msorry,oldboy!Ishouldn’thavesaidthat,’saystheEnglishmangruffly.
InsandalledfeetFathertoddlesbacktohisownseat,andMrSingh’smuscularthighscommencetheirrhythmictwitchingwithrenewedvigour.
MotherandMrsRogerschatterexcessivelyabouttheweather.Suddenlytheybecomequiet.
‘Youknow,oldchap,’InspectorGeneralRogershasjustsaidtoMrSingh,‘ifyouSikhsplantokeepyourlandsinLyallpurandMontgomery,you’dbetterstartfraternisingwiththeMuslimLeague.Ifyoudon’t,theMuslimswillthrowyouoffyourrichlands.’
‘Thatmother-fuckerisn’tbornwhocanthrowusout!Wewillthrowthemout!andyouout!’MrSinghbasheshisfistonthetablewithsuchforcethatthecutleryandcrockeryjangle.
‘Whowantspudding?’trillsMothershrilly,loudlybangingaspoonagainstherglass.
Inthestartledsilencethatfollows,MrsRogersenthusiasticallywarbles:‘Oh,I’dlovesomepudding!’
AndMrsSingh,musteringalltheemphasisofwhichsheiscapable,says,‘Metoo!’
Inadeterminedefforttofloodwithoiltheprecariouslytranquillisedwaters,MothertellsFather,‘Janoo[avariationonJana],youmusttelleverybodythatjokeaboutthecannibalsandthepadre’swifethatyoutoldme!Aboutbreakfastinbed…’
SincewhendidFatherstarttellingMotherjokes?Motherhasthishabitofvoicingherfantasies…Ifshepersistsinhervisionsofconjugalbliss,I’mafraidshewilllosetouchwithreality.
Thereareotherjokes.FatherandMothercrackupwithhootsthatI’msurecanbeheardbythelioninhiszoo.BeneaththetableAdiandImimictheirlaughter,takingcaretotimethewhoopsandblendourvoices.MrSinghisbreathlesswithlaughing.Hestampshisfeet,hereandthere,unawareofthehavocheiscausingbeneaththetable.
Aftertheyarethroughwiththepudding,andthethimblefulsofliqueurs,AdipinchesMrsSingh’scalfandIpinchMrsRogers’s.EventheimperturbableMrsSinghshrieks.
Theirfeetflyuptoourchestsandchins.Thetable-clothisraisedandsixbewilderedfacespokeunder.
Weemerge.Motherisangry.Apprehensive.SheglancesatFatherand,takinghercuefromhisamusedcountenance,relaxes.ShebeamsatusinthatwayIhavebeguntonoticeandresent:her‘other-people-are-around’way.Fatherlookspleasantandevenmakesindulgentsounds.Yousafgathersusbytheearsandpropelsustobed.
Father’sdinnerpartyjokesneverfail.TheRogershavescarcelyeaten.Overtheyearsitsavesthousandsofrupees’worthofchicken,lamb,caramelcustardandotherpartyfare.
HalfasleepIcanstillhearthemlaugh.WasthatreallyFather?thatcommunicativepersonmaking‘pooch-pooch’noiseswithhislipsandkindlysaying,‘Getalongyoutwo!’asYousaftookusfromtheroom?andthathooting,rollickingwomanmyremoteandsolemnmother?
***
AtaboutthistimeIbecomeawareofasecond-handMorrisMinorinourmidst.Ithasacrankupfronttostarttheengine,aradiatorthatconsumescountlesskettlesofboilingwater,andafive-man-powercrewtopush-starttheeight-horse-powermotor.
Thesnapofthecranknowfeaturesasoneoftheregularnoisesofthemorning.Togetherwiththelion’sroar,thebustleofdomesticactivitytoprovideFatherwithhisnewspaperandcupsoftea–andthebattleMucchowageswithPapoo–itawakensme.Inmynightsuit,barefoot,Igototheveranda.Thecrankchangeshandseveryfiveminutes.ImamDinisatit.Onehandonthecarbonnet,adusterwrappedroundthehandleforafirmgrip,helurchesmightilyandtheengineburps.Hestraightensandpressesthesmallofhisback.
Haritakesover.Stoopingbeforethehandlelikeafriskyterrierheenergeticallyturnsthecrankwithbothhands.
Adiburstsoutofthediningroomdoorinhispyjamas,holdinghistoothbrush,followedbyAyah’sshoutsandthenbyAyah.Hetoohasacrackatthecrank.
IhelpAyahpryhimlooseandMotitakesover.
IgotogreetFather.Heisinthebathroom,enthronedonthecommode.Withagreatrustlingofnewspaper,preoccupiedandmute,hesitsmeonhisbarethigh.
Fatherisinagoodmood.So,Mothertooisinagoodmood.Shegivesmeahug.SheputstoothpasteonFather’stoothbrush.ShetellsmetotakeFather’semptycupandsaucertothepantry.ButFatherlatchesontomewithsuchashowofspeechlessanguishandconsternationatthethoughtofbeingpartedfrommethatMothersays,‘Letitbe.Yousafwilltakethem.’
Shesmilesindulgently:asifshecouldcrossmyfatherifshehadamindto.
***
Fatherhasatwenty-minutenapafterlunch.Notnineteen,nottwenty-one,preciselytwenty.Heknotsakerchieftightlyroundhiseyesandliesdownflatonthebedwithhissandalson.Motherremoveshissandals,hissocksifheiswearingsocks,blowstenderlybetweenhistoes,andwithcooingnoisescaresseshisfeet.
Withasternfingeronherlipsshehushesthehousehold,untilFather’sinternalalarmclockcauseshimtojumpoutofbed,andwithinfourminutesontohisbicycle.
AfterlunchonaluminousNovemberSaturdayI’midlingonmycot,fillingmytediumwithdreams,whenahushedrushofsoundcomesfrommyparents’bedroom.Nottheharshangrysoundsthatstillmewithdreadfulapprehension,butthekindofnoisessignifyingFather’sfrolicsomemood.FathertakesalongerbreaksomeSaturdays.
Ileapfrommybedandburstintotheirroom.
MotherandFatherarestandingattheoppositeendsoftheirjoinedbeds.‘Janoo!Don’tteasemelikethis…Iknowyou’vegotit:Isawit!’
Mother’svoiceteetersbetweenamusementandawheedlingwhine.SheisavirtuosoatjugglingtherangeofhervoiceandachievingtheexactbalancewithwhichtohandleFather.Fatherhastheknackofextractingthemosttalentedperformancesfromusall–andfromallthosewhoworkforhim.
‘Jana!’Mothersaysinthroatyexasperation,‘youknowI’mgoingtogetyou!’andshelungesaroundthebed.
Father,limberinhisstripedcottonnightsuitandmaroondressinggown,maintainsastrategicdistance.‘Don’tbefoolish,’hesayswithfakeandsotto-voceirritability.Consciousoftheservants,myparentssquabbleinlowvoicesand,beingamoreprivateperson,Fatherismoreparticular.OutsidetheirwindowYousafisshavingtheleavesfromthetreeswithascythe,assistingthehalf-heartedLahorifalltocompleteitstask.
Motherclutchestheheadboardandtriestododge,takingastepthiswayandthat.Then,climbingonthebed,shescramblesacrossthemattressonallfours.
Fatherskipsawayeasily.‘Stoppesteringme,’hesays,‘I’mgettinglateforwork.’
‘Iwon’tletyougo,Jana,’saysMotherinavoicesotearfullychildishthatitcannotpossiblypresentathreattoFather’sauthority.Turningappealinglytome,herbosomheaving,sheenlistsmysupport.
‘Lenny,catchhim.’
‘Stopactinglikeachild,’Fathersaysdisgustedly.Hespreadshishandstoshowthatheisnotconcealinganything.
ButMother,anexpertatreadinghisface,says,‘Iknowyouaresmilingunderyourmoustache,Jana.Iloveitwhenyouarethisway.’Andattunedtothenuanceunderlyinghisdisgustedvoice,sheknowsshecanpersist.‘I’llgetmyhandsonthemoney,ormynameisn’tBunty.’
Irunroundthebed,exaggeratingmymodifiedlimp,andgrabholdofFather’sleg.
‘Oneminute.Oneminute,’hecoaxes,looseningmygripandmisleadingme.TheinstantIreleasehisleghevaultsthroughthecurtainsintothenarrowstudy,and,swiftlyshuttingthedoors,drawsthebolt.
‘Jana!Letmein,Jana,’Mothercriesshakingthedoorandrattlingthelooseironbolt.Ibangonit.Yousafandhisscythehavemovedtoshaveanothertreeandthewintrysunshinesthroughitsbaredbranches.
‘Youwillbreakthedoor,stupidtwit!’criesFatherinaharsh,hushedvoice.Uncomfortablyawareoftheubiquitousservants,hepullstheboltandopensthedoor.
MotherandIrushhimexcitedly.Expectingthecharge,FatherstaggersbackandplonksdownonthesetteewithMotherandmeontopofhim.Mother’ssearchinghandsmovealloverhisdressinggown,andbeneathit,probinghispockets,crotchandothercrannies.
KnowingnowI’mlookingformoney,Ialsostrokeandpathisclothes.
‘You’vehiddenit,Janoo,’criesMotherindismay.‘ButI’llfindit!I’mnotabouttogiveup!’
HeavingherselfoffFather,determinedlyandmethodicallyMotheropensandshutsdrawersinaricketyolddeskandinasteelfilingcabinet.Fatherloungesonthesetteelookingsmug.ButwhenMotherstridestowardsthelargeteakcupboardatthefarendoftheroomheboundsforwardand,spreadinghishands,standsbeforeit.Theheavypanelsonthetophalfofthealmirahconcealaneatarrayofnarrowdrawers,andthelowerhalfiscomposedoftwosetsofdeeperdrawers.
WeflingourselvesatFather.MywiryFatherisstrong,butMotherhastheadvantageofhervoluptuousweight.Inthetugofwarthatensueswemanagetoopenthedoorpanels–andtokeepthemopen–despiteFather’sdesperateeffortstodislodgeus.
Mother,breathingheavily,plungesherhandshereandthereandwithatriumphantcrysprintsoutoftheroom,herstubbyfingersclosedonalargewadofnotes.
‘Oye,uloo!’Fathersays,rushingafterher.‘It’snotmymoney,youcrazy!I’llbringyouyourhouse-keepingmoneyfromtheoffice.’
‘I’lltakeonlywhatIhaveto,’Mothershouts,lockingherselfintothebathroom.‘Ihaven’tevenpaidLenny’sphysiotherapistyet…I’vetobuythechildren’sclothesforChristmasandNewYear.’(Christmas,Easter,Eid,Divali.Wecelebratethemall.)
‘Oye,madwoman,’hissesFatherthroughthedoor,ostensiblymindfuloftheservants’ears.‘Showsomesense.Iowethemoney.Ihavetoreturnitonmywaytotheoffice.Giveitbackatonce.’
‘I’llgiveitafterI’vetakenwhatIneed,Jana,’Motherwarblesandsuddenlyopeningthedoorshovesthebundleatmyfather.
Beforeshe’shadtimetomovetohercupboardFatherhasflickedthroughthenotesandcountedthem.‘Arrey!You’vetakenfartoomuch!’heexclaimsasifshakentothecoreandbankruptedbythebanditry.ButIamalsoschooledtoreadbetweenthelinesofmyfather’sface.Hisheartisnotinhisanguish.Mothermusthavewithdrawnaverymeagreandreasonablesumindeed!
‘She’sbentondestroyingus,’Fathergrumbles,strikinghisforeheadagainandagain.‘MoneyMoneyMoneyMoney!Frommorningtonight.MoneyMoneyMoneyMoney!I’mfedup.’
ButMother,withdewinhereyesandamistysmile,blowshimkisses.And,havinglockedthemoneyinhercupboard,goesaboutherbusinessofpickingupFather’sclothesandtidyingthebedsandgettingdressed.
Chapter9
ToourleftistheSinghs’largebungalow.Thecompoundwallweshareispartiallybrokenbytheslopingtrunkofaeucalyptustreenearourkitchen.ThisiswhereRosy,Peter,AdiandI,andsometimesCousin,gathertodiscussworldaffairs,humanrelationships,MrandMrsSingh’suncuthairandRosy’ssister’simpendingbaby.
‘I’lltellyouhowbabiescome,’saysRosy.
‘Oh,weknow,’Isay,‘Ayah’salreadytoldus.’
‘How?’challengesRosy.‘Thestorkbringsthem?’
Rosysighs,rollinghereyes.‘I’lltellyouhowtheyaremade,’shepersists;‘mysister’stoldmeeverything.’
Rosyisobnoxiouslysmugandswollenthesedays.Shemaywalkaboutwithagrown-upair–buthercottonknickers,Inotice,remainwet.Herbigsisterunquestionablypumpsherwithquestionableknowledge.
‘Ifyoursisterknowssomuch,howcomeshecouldnotevenpassherMatricexam?’Iask.
Rosyhaspickedupareasonablewayoftalkingwhichgivesmegoosebumps.‘PassingMatricexamshasnothingtodowithhavingbabies,’sheexplainssweetly.‘Shehasahusbandwhosheloves–andwholovesher…’
‘She’sgottohaveahusband,stupid!She’smarriedisn’tshe?’Adibuttsin,‘andmarriedpeoplehavebabies!That’sallthereistoit!’
‘You’remuchtooyoungtounderstandsuchthings,’saysRosy.
‘I’llshowyouwho’stooyoung,’saysAdi,pushingherbackandjumpingthewallafterherandknockingherdownandthrowinghimselfuponher.Theyarguewiththeirlimbsandvoices,churningdust.HowisRosytoknowthatjustthatmorningCousinsettledanargumentwithAdibyshovinghimoffSkinny-aunt’sverandasaying:‘You’retoosmalltoknowanything,stupid.Scram!’
Thekitchendoorbangingshut,Yousafemergestoinvestigatetherow.HesnatchesAdiupandRosy,draggedtoherfeetbyherhair,emitsabloodyyellthatcurdlesthemilkinMrSingh’sbuffaloes.YousafcarriesAdikickingandcursingintothekitchen.
ForthemomentatleastAdihasknockedthestuffingoutofRosy’sintolerablegrown-uppishness.Red-faced,bawling,martyred,wetknicker-bottomscakedwithmudandarmsoutstretched,Rosytottersinslowmotionto-wardsherveranda.
PuttingonastraightfaceIjumpthewallafterRosy.Iplaceahypocriticalarmprotectivelyroundhershouldersandconsoleherallthewayuptheverandastepstoherroom.
‘Whatisit,Rosy?Whatisthematter,dear?’warblesMrsSinghinhercool-water-in-a-jugAmericanvoicefromsomewhereinthehouse.
RosybawlssomethingindecipherableandMrsSingh,apparentlysatisfied,asksnomorequestions.
Thethreeminiatureglassjarswinkatme!
LeavingRosytocopewithherhurtfeelingsandbruisedflesh,Icrouchbeforethem.OnebyoneIliftthefragilejarsandremovetheirtinycrystalstoppers.Theygleam,reflectingrainbowhues–insinuatingquestions…Whatiseternity?Whyarethestars?Wheredocatslaytheireggs?Andwhydon’thospitalshaveflushingbed-pansbuiltintothebeds?
RosyneverevenlooksatthejarsunlessIamthere.Iftheyweretofallthisminuteandsmashtosmithereensshewouldbesad–thedestructionofbeautyisdepressing–butshewouldn’tmissthemamongallherlittlepotsandpansandcupsandsaucers.Woulditbestealingthen?TakingawaysomethingRosydoesn’twantanyway?
Icannotbringmyselftoaskhertogivethemtome.Shemightrefuse.It’sanunthinkablerisk.Iknowwhenyouwantsomethingverymuchitgivespeoplepoweroveryou.IwillnotgiveRosythatpowertowithhold–ortogrant.Toomanypeoplehaveitasitis.
SilentlyRosygetsupandleavingadampindentationofherdustybottomonthebedspreadgoesoutoftheroom.
Myhandsfeelweak.Icannotstiroutofmycrouchedposition.Iforcemymindtoberational.Hundredsofthousandsofpeoplesteal…
Suddenlymybrainclicks.Myeyeslocatethefireplace.Myhandsspringtolife,deftandobedient,andIburythejarsinabedofashes.Itisalmostsummer.Noonewillkindleafireformonths.IcanleavethejarstheretillRosyforgetstheyeverexisted.
Rosyreturnsbearingasaucerandmyheartsinks.Onthesauceraresmallmoundsofsugar,riceandredpepper.Itisanoffering.Amanoeuvretoshoreupmyshakyallegiance;andasilenttestimonyofherworth.SheknowsIlovefillingthejars,liketheirenormouscounterpartsinthekitchen,withsugarandrice.
Thereisnohelpforit.WhileRosyfillsthetoyteapotwithwaterfromthebathroomIpryoutthejarsfromtheashesandfillthemwithriceandsugar.
Icouldweep.AnytimeImanoeuvreasetofcircumstancestosuitmethishappens.Fateintervenes.Thereisnootherwordforit.Fated!Doomed!NowonderIhavesuchascary-pussofaconscience.
***
Ayahhasacquiredtwonewadmirers:aChinamanandthePathan.
Motherwonderswhywearesuddenlyswampedwithsuchapersistentdisplayofembroideredbosky-silkandlinentea-cosies,tray-cloths,trolleysets,tablecloths,counterpanes,pillowcasesandbedsheets.
TwiceaweektheChinamancyclesupourdrive,rattlingandbumpingoverthestones,ahugekhakibundlestrappedtothecarrier.
Ourdriveismadeofpackedearth.Everyyear,wornbytrafficanderodedbymonsoons,thedrivelaysbarepatchesofbrickrubble.
TheChinamanisdapper,thin,brusqueandrude.Heparkshisbicycleintheporch,removesthecycle-clipsfromhiskhakitrousersandheaveshisbundletotheveranda.‘Comeon,comeon,Chinamancome!’heshouts,squattingbeforehisbundleandsortingouthiswaresfordisplay.‘ComeonMemsahib,comeonAyah.Comeon,comeon,Chinamancome!’
Motheryellsfrominside:‘Tellhimtogetout!Whatisthisnonsense?Comingeveryday!Ayah?Yousaf?Isanyonethere?’
Ayahcomestotheveranda.‘Go,go!’shesaysintartEnglish.‘BesidesCantonese,theChinamanspeaksonlyasmatteringofEnglish.)‘Memsahibnowant.Go,Go!’
ButtheChinamanhassprunghistrapwithcunning.Ayah’sattentionissnaredbytheshimmeringcolours.Hereyeswandertothesilks.
‘Comeon,comeon,’hecoaxes,gettingup.HereachesforAyah’sarmandpullshertohissilks.‘See?’hesays,strokinghisfreehandovertheboskyandthenoverherarm.‘Itsilkylikeyourskin.See?See?’hesaysburyingherhandinthesoftheap.
Ayahknowswellhowtohandlehisboldtiltedeyesandhisalienrudeness.‘Oh-ho,’shesays,allsing-songy.‘Ihavenomunneeey–howIbuy?’
‘Yousit,’coaxestheChinaman,pullingAyahtosquatbesidehimand,retaininghishold,engagesherinastaccatoanddesultoryconversation.WhenAyah’srestivenessbecomesuncontrollableheintroducesabribe:‘Now,whatIcangiveyou?’hemuses.‘Letmesee…Sit,sit,’hesaysandAyah’srestivenesssuccumbstothedualrestraintsofhandandpromises.
AlthoughAyahhasbeenallottedquarters,shedwellsandsleepsinourhouse.Soonthetabletops,mantelpieces,sideboardsandshelvesinourroomsblossomwithembroidered,bosky-silkdoilies.
TheattentionsofAyah’sPathanadmireralsobenefitourhousehold.Allourkitchenknives,tableknives,Mother’sscissorsandpaper-knifeandHari’sgardenshearsandAdi’sbluntpenknifesuddenlydevelopglitteringrazoredges.AnditisnotonlyourhouseholdthePathanservices.GitaShankar’s,Rosy-Peter’s,Electric-aunt’sandGodmother’shousesalsoflashwithsharpandefficientcuttingimplements.Eventheworn,stubbyknivesintheservants’quartersacquireredoubtableedges:forthePathanisaknife-sharpener.
Ihaveoftennoticedhiminthebazaar,plyinghistradebeforestreet-sideshops.Hepushesapedalonhismachineandalargeandslenderwheelturnsdizzilyroundandround.Withgreatdexterityandjudgementhebringstheknifebladestothewheel,andintheensuingconflagrationofsparksandswiftsteel-screeches,theknivesarehonedtojeweledges.Hewrapsthelooseendofhisfloppyturbanabouthismouthlikeathug–tofilteroutthefinesteelandwhetstonedust.
ItisonlywhenIseehiminasidewalkbrawlwiththerestaurant-wrestler,lookingbewilderedandfurious,hisfacenolongercoveredlikeathug’s,thatIrecognisethefaceandconnectittothepinkandtinglybottomwecycledpastonourwaytoImamDin’svillage.
ThePathan’snameisSharbatKhan.Hetoocyclesupourlongdrive,steelclatteringandwheelswobblingovertherubblethatsticksoutofthemud.ThecyclelookslikeatoybeneaththemanfromthemountainsandinvoluntarilyAdiandIgrowtense,expectingthepistol-shot-likereportofapuncturedtyre.Itislateintheafternoonandwestandontheveranda,hypnotisedbyhisapproach.
SharbatKhanwearsdraw-stringpantaloonssobaggytheyputtoshameMasseur’sshalwar–andoverthemaflaredtunicthatflauntstenyardsofcoarsewhitehomespun.HecyclespastourbedroomandGitaShankar’sroomstothebackofthehouse.AdiandIscootafterhim.
SharbatKhanparkshiscycleagainstatreeandsquattingbyitwaitsforAyah.
Ayahcomes.
Ayahisnervousinhispresence:giventosuddenmovement;hergoddess-likecalmreplacedbybreath-stoppingshyness.Theydon’ttouch.Heleansacrosshisbicycle,talking,andsheshiftsfromfoottofoot,smiling,duckingandtwistingspherically.Shehastakentostickingaflowerinherhair,pluckedfromourgarden.Theydon’tneedtotouch.HispresenceradiatesawarmththatisdifferentfromthedarkheatgeneratedbyMasseur’sfingers–thelightning-strikesofIce-candy-man’stoes.
SharbatKhantellsherofhiscousinwhohasadryfruitandnaswar(mixtureoftobaccoandopium)lean-toinGowalmandi.ItisacontactpointforthemanyPathansfromhistribearoundtheKhyberworkinginLahore.HegivesAyahnewsofthemeat,vegetable,teaandkebabstallownersandoftheirfamilies,whosekniveshesharpens.Heisdoingwell.Andnotonlyatsharpeningknives.
SharbatKhancautionsAyah:‘Thesearebadtimes–Allahknowswhat’sinstore.ThereisbigtroubleinCalcuttaandDelhi:Hindu-Muslimtrouble.TheCongress-wallahsareafterJinnah’sblood…’
‘What’sittousifJinnah,NehruandPatelfight?Theyarenotfightingourfight,’saysAyah,lightly.
‘Thatmaybetrue,’saysSharbatKhanthoughtfully,‘buttheyarestirringuptroubleforusall.’
SharbatKhanshiftsforward,hisaspectthatofamanabouttoconfessasecret.AyahleansclosertohimandIslideintoherlap.
Heglancesatmedubiously,butatareassuringnodfromAyah,says,‘Funnythingsarehappeninginsidetheoldcity…Stabbings…Eitherthepolicecan’tdoanything–ortheydon’twantto.Abodywasstuffedintoamanholeinmylocality…Itwasdiscoveredthismorningbecauseofthesmell:ayoung,good-lookingman.SeveralbodieshavebeenfoundintheguttersandgulliesoftheKashmiri,LahoriandBhattiGatesandShalmi…Theymusthavebeendumpedtherefromdifferentneighbourhoodsbecausenooneknowswhotheyare.’
‘AretheyHindus?’asksAyah,hercarefreemooddispelled.
‘Hindu,MuslimandSikh.Onecantelltheyarefromprosperous,eating-drinkinghouseholds…
‘Therehavealsobeenoneortwofires…Idon’tlikeit…’
Wefallintoapensivesilence.
Ayahsighs,‘ArreyBhagwan.’Shepushesmeoffherlapanduntiesaknotinhersarithatservesasherwallet.Sheholdsoutasmallbundleoftightlyfoldednotes.‘Look,’shesays,shakingherheadtodispelthesombremood.‘I’vesavedmywholesalarythismonth…fortyrupees!’
SharbatKhantakesthemoneyfromherand,removinghisturban,tucksitinsideitsrancid-smellinginterior.Hishair,mattedtohishead,isbrownandfallsfromacentrepartingtohisears.
SharbatKhanloansmoneyasasidebusinesslikemostPathans.HecarriesouttransactionsonAyah’sbehalfandgiveshertheprofits.Oftenhewearsagun.Therearefewdefaulters.
IlistenasSharbatKhantalkstoAyahofthecropsandsparseorchardsinhismountainvillage.Nowitistheappleseasonandtheseasonforapricots.Itisalsotimetocashthericecrop,themaizecrop,andhoethepotatoes…Heisgoingtohistribalvillageforamonthorsotohelphisfolkwresttheharvestfromthegritty,unyieldingsoilofhisland.Thereareleopardsinthegraniteravinesandstonysummitssurroundinghisvillage.Hehasencounteredthemonmountaintrails,theireyesgleamingemeraldbynight,theirspotscamouflagedbythefilteredsunlightdapplingtheunderbrushbyday.
‘HaiRam!’exclaimsAyah,herlipstremblingwithconcern.‘Don’ttheyattack?’
‘Onlyifthey’reshowndisrespect,’saysSharbatKhan.‘Wemountainfolkknowwhattodo.Wetouchourforeheadsandcourteouslysay“Salaam-alekummamajee[uncle]”andtheyletusalone.’
‘I’dneverhavethenervetosaythat!’saysAyah.‘I’dfaintrightaway!’
‘Thenhe’dthinkyouveryrudeandeatyouup!’
‘Arreybaba,I’dnevergotoyourvillage,’saysAyahfirmly.
SharbatKhangrins,hiseyesshiningwithlove.‘ThenImustbringthemountainstoyou!Whatwouldyoulike?’heasksAyah.‘Almonds?Pistachios?Walnuts?Driedapricots?’SharbatKhanwearssilverringsonhisfingers,roughlyembeddedwithturquoiseanduncutrubies.‘Ah,thetasteofthosenuts!’hesighs,raisinghisfingerstohislipsandsmackingthem,andslidinghiswarmtiger-eyesinawaythatleavesAyahsoshortofbreaththatshecanbarelysay,‘Bringmepistachios.’
SharbatKhanleansforward.‘What?’heasks,awareofhiseffectonher.‘Ididn’thearyou.’
Ayahshufflesherbarefeetandfidgetswithhersari.Hereyesareshy,fullofmessages.‘Bringmepistachios,’shesaysagain.‘Andalmonds:theyaregoodforthebrain.’
‘Andwhatarepistachiosgoodfor?’asksSharbatKhanknowingly,andAyahlowersherheadandfiddleswiththescarletroseanchoredtothetightknotinherhairandsays,‘HowshouldIknow?’AndSharbatKhansighsagain,andhiseyesturnsoradianttheyshinelikeamberbetweenhisbushylashes.
Somethinghappenswithinme.ThoughoutwardlyIremainasthinaseverIcanfeelmystomachmusclesretracttocreateawarmhollow.‘Takemeforaride–takemeforaride,’IbegandSharbatKhan,tearingawayhiseyesfromAyah,placesmeonthecycleshaft.Hegivesmeaturnroundthebackyard,grazingpastthebuffalo,theservants’quartersandtheShankars’veranda.Hesmellsoftobacco,burntwhetstoneandsweat.HebringsmebackandoffersAyaharide.
‘Sitinfront:it’ssafer,’hesays.
‘Aiiii-yo!’shesaysinalong-drawnway,asifhehasmadeanimpropersuggestion,andturningherfaceawaycoversherheadwithhersari.
SharbatKhancoaxesheragain,andwithagreatshowofalarmAyahwigglesontotheshaftinfrontandSharbatKhantakesheroffonacircuitofthebackyard.Hepretendstolosehisbalance:andasthefrontwheelswingswildly,‘Hai,I’lldie!’criesAyah.Theinhabitantsoftheservants’quarterspopouttowatchthetamashaandapplaud.Adilaughsandclaps.Laughing,SharbatKhanreleasesAyahbackunderthetrees.
HegivesAdiaride,anddepositinghimoutsidethekitchen,cyclesdownthedrivelikeamountainreceding.
***
IhearthemetallicpealofFather’scyclebellandrushouttowelcomehim.Motherrushesoutofanotherdoor.Itisalmostthreeintheafternoon:Fatherislateforlunch.TogetherweslobberalloverhimasFather,withaphoneyfrownandatightlittletwistofasmilebeneathhismoustache,placesthecycleonitsstandandremovestheledgersclampedtothecarrier.
Motherremoveshissolartopiandslipsoffthehandkerchieftiedroundhisforeheadtokeepthesweatfromhiseyes.Shebrusheshiswetcurlsback.AsIreachuptokisshimFatherbendsandputshisarmroundme.Motherrelieveshimoftheledgersandtakingholdofhisotherarmwindsitaboutherself,makinglittlemoaningsoundsasifhistouchfillsherwithexquisiterelief.WithmeclingingtohiswaistandMotherhangingontohisarmFatherlaboursuptheverandasteps.
MakingaffectionatesoundsweaccompanyFathertothebathroom.Hewasheshishandsandemptieshisbladderandweaccompanyhimtothediningtable.
MotherandIsitwithhim.Mothertalkswhilehechompswordlesslyonhisfoodandlooksatheroutoftheassessinganddisconcertingeyesofatheatrecritic.Motherchattersaboutfriendsandsuppliespoliticaltitbitsfilteredthroughtheirconsciousnesses:Col.BharuchasaysthatJinnahsaid…AndNehrusaidthat…Andoh,howIlaughedwhenMehrabai(that’sthemirthsomeMrsBankwalla)saidthisaboutPatel…andthatabout…
Unflagging,shegivesarésuméoftheanxiouslettersfromsistersandsisters-in-lawinBombayandKarachi,whohaveheardallsortsofrumoursaboutthesituationinthePunjabandareexhortingustocometothem.
Alittlelater,mentionofAdi’shostileanticscausesFathertoscowl.Leaningforwardtoshovelaforkfulofcurriedriceintohismouthhecrumpleshisforeheadup,andoutofsharpandjudgementaleyesgazesacutelyatMother.
SwitchingthebulletinimmediatelyMotherrecountssomeobservationsofmineasifI’vespenttheentiremorningmouthingextraordinarilybrilliant,saccharinelysweetandfetchinglynaïveremarks.‘Jana,youknowwhatLennytoldmethismorning?Shesaid:
“PoorDaddyworkssohardforus.WhenIgrowup,Iwillworkintheofficeandhecanreadhisnewspaperallday!”’
PealsoflaughterfromMother.AsmilefromFather.
AndwhenMotherpauses,oncue,IrepeatanyremarksI’msupposedtohavemade:andhamuptheperformancewithfurtherinnocentlyinsightfulobservations.
Fatherrewardsmewithsolemnnods,champingsmiles,andmonosyllables.
Andastheyearsadvance,mysenseofinadequacyandunworthadvances.Ihavetothinkfaster–onmytoesasitwere…offeringlengthierandlengthierchattertofilluptheinfernaltimeofFather’smutemeals.
IsthatwhenIlearntotelltales?
Chapter10
InsteadofschoolIgotoMrsPen’s.HerhouseisnexttoGodmother’sonJailRoad–oppositeElectric-aunt’s–andIwalktherewithAyahorwithHari.Channi,herslightbutstatelysweeper,takesoutasmalltableandtwochairsandwesitinthegardenunderbareFebruarytreesandlukewarmsunshine.MrPenloungesontheverandainaneasychair.
Aparrotmightrelishrecitingtables.Idonot.‘Twotwosarefour
Twothreesaresix
Twofoursareeight
Etc.,etc.’
BythetimeIreachthefive-timestableIamrestingmyheadonmyarmsstretchedflatoutonthetable,peeringsidewaysatMrsPen.Myjawsache–mymindwanders–IhearMrPensnore…
HeismuchdarkerthanMrsPen.HeisAnglo-Indian.
MrsPenisfair,soft,plump,English.
Ihaveatrick.Myvoicedroneson,mymindclicksoff.Itaketimeouttoeducatemyself.Iwatchthetreesshedtheirleavesandsproutnewbuds…andthepredatorykitesswooponpigeons.Andthecrows,inungainlyclusters,attackthekites…
AndIsniffawhiffoffMrsPenasitdriftsupfromunderthetable,itsmouldyrealitypercolatingthedustingofcheaptalcumpowder.
DespitehereffortstocluttermybrainwiththetriviaandtrappingsofscholarshipIslipinagoodbitoflearning.ThewhiffoffMrsPenenlightensme.Itteachesmethebiologyofspentcellsandageingbodies–andinsinuateshistoryintomysubconscious…ofthingspastandoftheBritishRaj…ofhumanfrailtiesandvulnerabilities–ofspentpassionandlingeringyearnings.WhereasawhiffoffAyahcarriesthedarkpurityofcreation,MrsPensmellsofmemories.
MrsPenreadsaloudprosaicEnglishhistory.
Iturnmyheadtheotherway.IobserveMrPen’sfingers.Theyarelong,fatandlarge.Hislegsarehugetubesencasedinflannelsandbeneaththem,visiblethroughaholeinhissocks,plopshismordanttoe.IfeelsorryforMrsPen.Ican’timaginehisfingersworking
thesubtleartistryofMasseur’sfingers–orhissluggishtoeconveyingthedashingimpulsesofIce-candy-man’stoes.
AfterMrsPen’sIgotoGodmother’s.
Godmotherrentsroomsinthebackofabungalow.Shehasalargeroom,andasmallroomwithakerosenestoveandadangerousPrimusstove.Thesmallroomservesaskitchen/pantry.Andoffit,abathroomwiththreecommodes.
Igostraighttothekitchen.Slavesister,shortandsquat,isslavingoverthekerosenestove.Ifollowherasshewalksonpainfulbunionstothewater-troughatthebackofthecompoundandwatchherscourtheheavypansandbrassutensilswithashandmud.Ihelphercarrythemback.
EverynowandthenSlavesisterservesGodmotherstronghalf-cupsofsteamingteawhichGodmotherpoursintohersaucerandslurps.Itootakeanoccasionalandguiltysip.Drinkingtea,Iamtold,makesonedarker.I’mdarkenough.Everyonesays,‘It’sapityAdi’sfairandLennysodark.He’saboy.Anyonewillmarryhim.’
***
YesterdayIcarriedagleamingimageofthejarsinmymind.
Somethingdarkerlurksintheirsteadtoday–fearandguilt.
Thethreejarsareinmypossession.
Iglanceabouttheroom.ThereisnotasinglehidingplacewhenIwantone.WhenIdon’tneedthemtheyabound,secretingawaythings.
Ituckthejarsinanoldpairoffeltslippersbeneathatangleofneglectedtoysinthebottomdrawerofourdresser.
Adibreezesinandmakesabeelineforthedresser.Heopensandclosesdrawers,rummagingamongthewreckedcars,trains,nurserybooks,gutlessbadmintonrackets,andcelluloiddolls.Hegrabsthedeflatedfootballhe’slookingforandIletmybreathgo.Ineedasaferhidingplace.
NextmorningItransportthejarstoMrsPen’s,wrappedintoiletpaperandtuckedinmyschoolbag.AftermytuitionItransportthemtoGodmother’s.Sheisproppeduponthreewhitepillowsthatarecement-hardandasheavy.Ireclinebesideheronhercot,proppedalmostupright.
Myeyeswanderallovertheroom.Anotherstring-cot,smallerandsagging,liesinfrontofthealmirahwiththethreedoors.Squeezedbetweentwocupboards,fittingoneintotheother,arethreemorecots.Oldhusbandsitshunchedandstillonabentwoodchairbeforeaheavymahoganydesk.Chairswithcaneseats,tintrunksandleathersuitcasesarestackedagainstthewalls.Myeyes,likehappyroaches,crawlintotheabundanceofcrevicesandcrannies.
Slavesistergoesintothekitchen.WhenshecallsGodmothertolightthePrimusIquicklyslipthejarsbetweentwostacksoftrunkscoveredbydhurries.
IhearGodmotherpumpthespiritstove:koochuck,koochuck,koochuck,koochuck.Iseeher,white-saried,bentforwardinconcentration,vulnerableandheroic.
ThetechnologyinvolvedinstartingthePrimusistoocomplexforSlavesistertohandle.Godmotherexposesherselftograveriskeverytimeshestartsthestove.LikeRussianroulette,anyoneofthepumpsmighttriggerthePrimustoblowupinherface.
Thereisafiercehissing.Itisnowsafetopeekin.TheringofflamefromthePrimusislikeafiercebluestorm.
IliebackonGodmother’spillows,absent-mindedlylisteningtoherscoldSlavesister.WhensheapproachesImakeroomforher.ShesettlesinthehollowofthebedandIwindmyselfaboutherlikearope.
ShecallstoSlavesister.Hervoiceisstillsternfromthescolding:‘IwantthatJapanesekimonoMehrabaibroughtmetwoyearsback.Thatredone.IwanttogiveittoBachamai’sRutti.Doyourememberwhereitis?’
Noanswer.
Sherapsherpunkahonthewalltoattracthersister’sattention,andraisinghervoicetoaccommodatethehissingstove,repeatsthetext,adding:‘Doyouhearme?’
Stillnoanswer.
‘Oh?Wearesulking,arewe?’
Nocomment.
‘Wearegettingallhoity-toitytoday?’
Godmotherblinksexaggeratedly,andmakesahaughty,naughtyfaceandholdsherlongpointedfingersinsuchasuperciliousanddaintymannerthatIburstintogiggles.Godmothershakeswithsuppressedchuckles.
Catchingherbreathandsoberingup,shesays:‘Willyoulookforthekimono–ordoIhavetogetup?’
ThebedcreaksasGodmotherslowlyheavesherselfupandlowersherfeet,andSlavesistercomesinflappingherslippersnoisilyandsaying,‘I’mcoming,I’mcoming…Really,Rodabai,youhavenopatience,haveyou?Ican’tcookandlookforthekimonoatthesametimetoo,canI?’
Godmothercaricaturesherexpressionandpantomimeshermartyredmovementsbehindherrotundback.
‘Iknowwhatyou’redoing.Goahead:doitinfrontofthechild!Asitisshedoesn’trespectme.Ihaveaskedyousooftennotto.Youneverconsiderhowyouhumiliateme,
doyou?’
Godmothercontinuesherperformance,pantomiming.
Slavesister’sgestures,openingandshuttinghermouthinadumbcharade.
Godmothernudgesme.Slavesisterhascommencedmumbling.
Godmothersetsupanimitativehum.AsSlavesisterpeersintoboxesandsuitcaseslookingforthekimono,shemumbleslouderandGodmothersays,‘Somepeopledon’tlikebeingscolded.Iftheydon’tlikebeingscoldedtheyshouldn’thoveraroundPrimusstoveswhenI’mpumpingthem!’
‘Mumble–grumble.’Aliftingandshuttingoftrunklids.ApuzzledexpressiononSlavesister’sface,awadoftoiletpaperinherhands.‘What’sthis?’
‘Careful!It’sglass!It’smine,’Isay,scamperingoffthecot.
Balancingherbifocalsonthetipofherrubberyandshapelessnose,Slavesisterexaminesthetinyjarsadmiringly.‘Wheredidyougetthem?’
‘Rosygavethemtome.’
PerhapsIhesitateafractiontoolong.Ormybodysignalscontrarily.ThemomentthesentenceisoutIcantellGodmotherknowsIhavestolenthejars.Ileapbacktomyoriginalroost,notabletomeethereyes,andhidemyfaceinhersari.
‘Youhavestolenthejars,haven’tyou?’sheasks.
‘No,’Isay,shakingmyheadvehementlyagainstherkhaddarblouse.
‘Don’tlie.Itdoesn’tsuityou.’
Thereitisagain!Lyingdoesn’tbecomeme.Ican’tgetawaywiththelittlestthing.
‘Whynot?’Ihowl.‘Whydoesn’titsuitme?NoonesaysthattoAdi,Ayah,Cousin,ImamDin,Mother,FatherorRosy-Peter!’
‘Somepeoplecanlieandsomepeoplecan’t.Yourvoiceandfacegiveyouaway,’saysGodmother.
‘ButIcan’tevencurse,’Ihowl,sittingup.
Adicanswearhimselfredinthefaceandlooklovable–Rosycancursesteadilyforfiveminutes,goingallthewayfrom‘Ullu-kay-pathay’to‘asshole’,fromPunjabiswearwordstoAmerican,andstilllookcute.It’sokayifCousinswears–butifIcurseorlieIamtolditdoesnotsuittheshapeofmymouth.Ormypersonality.Orsomething!
‘Everybodyintheworldlies,stealsandcursesexceptme!’Ishout,chokedwithself-pity.‘Whycan’tIactlikeeverybody?’
‘Somepeoplecangetawaywithitandsomecan’t,’saysGodmother.‘I’mafraidalifeofcrimeisnotforyou.Notbecauseyouaren’tsharp,butbecauseyouarenotsuitedtoit.’
Alifesentence?Condemnedtohonesty?Ademoninsaint’sclothing?
IwassetfirmlyandrelentlesslyonthepathtotruththedayIbrokeaWedgwoodplateand,puttingabrazenfaceonmymischief,noblyconfessedallbeforeMother.Iwasthreeyearsold.Motherbentoverme,showeringmewiththeradianceofherapproval.‘Iloveyou.Youspokethetruth!What’sabrokenplate?Breakahundredplates!’
Ibrokeplates,cups,bowls,dishes.Ismashedlivers,kidneys,hearts,eyes…Thepathtovirtueisstrewnwithbrokenpeopleandshatteredchina.
***
GandhijeevisitsLahore.I’msurprisedheexists.Ialmostthoughthewasamythicfigure.Someonewe’donlyhearaboutandneversee.Mothertakesmyhand.WewalkpasttheBirdwoodBarracks’sepoytotheQueensRoadendofWarrisRoad,andenterthegatesofthelasthouse.
Wewalkdeepintoawinding,eucalyptus-shadeddrive:sofarindowegothatIfearwemaylandupinsomeprivaterecessofthezooandcomefacetofacewiththelion.IdragbackonMother’sarm,vocalisingmyfear,andatlastMotherhaulsmeupsomestepsandintoGandhijee’spresence.Heisknitting.Sittingcross-leggedonthemarblefloorofapalatialveranda,heissurroundedbywomen.Heissmall,dark,shrivelled,old.HelooksjustlikeHari,ourgardener,excepthehasadisgruntled,disgustedandirritablelook,andnoone’ddarepulloffhisdhoti!Hewearsonlytheloin-clothandhisblackandthintorsoisnaked.
Gandhijeecertainlyisaheadofhistimes.Healreadyknowstheadvantagesofdieting.Hehasstarvedhiswayintothenewsandmadeheadlinesallovertheworld.
MotherandIsitinacirclewithGitaandthewomenfromDaulatram’shouse.Apink-satinbowdanglingfromthetipofherstoutbraid,Gitalooksetherealandcontent–asifwashedofalldesire.Inoticethesamelookonthefacesoftheotherwomen.Whateverhisphysicalshortcomings,Gandhijeemusthavesomeconcealedattractionstoinspiresuchpurifiedexpressions.
LeanyoungwomenflankGandhijee.TheylookdifferentfromLahoriwomenandareobviouslyapartofhisentourage.ThepleasantlyplumpPunjabiwomen,inshalwar-kamizesandsaris,shufflefromspottospot.Barelystandingup,theyholdtheirveilssothattheedgesdon’tslipofftheirheadsastheygotoandfromGandhijee.Thewomenaresubdued,receptive;aswhenonesitswithmourners.
SomeonetakesMother’shand,andhandinhandwegotoGandhijee.Butterwouldn’tmeltinourmouths.Gandhijeepolitelyputsasidehisknittinganduncreaseshisdisgruntledscowl;andwithanirrelevanceIfindalarming,sayssoftly,‘Sluggishstomachs
arethescourgeofthePunjabis…toomuchrichfoodandtoolittleexercise.ThecauseofIndia’sailmentsliesinourcloggedalimentarycanals.Thehungrystomachisthescourgeofthepoor–andthefullstomachoftherich.’
Beneathherblue-tintedandrimlessglassesMother’seyesaredowncast,herheadbowed,herbobbedhair–andwhatIassumeisherconsternation–concealedbeneathhersari.ButwhenGandhijeepauses,shegiveshimasidelonglookofraptandreverentinterest.Andtwominuteslater,nottheleastbitalarmed,sheearnestlyfurnisheshimwiththeodour,consistency,timeandfrequencyofherbowelmovements.Whensheisfinishedshebowsherheadagain,andGandhijeepasseshishandoverherhead:andthen,absently,asifitwereatiresomeafter-thought,overmine.
‘Flushyoursystemwithanenema,daughter,’saysGandhijee,directinghissagecounselatmymother.‘Useplain,lukewarmwater.Doitforthirtydays…everymorning.Youwillfeellikeanewwoman.
‘Lookatthesegirls,’saysGandhijee,indicatingtheleanwomenflankinghim.‘Igivethemenemasmyself–thereisnoshameinit–Iamliketheirmother.Youcanseehowsmoothandmoisttheirskinis.Lookattheirshiningeyes!’
Theenema-emaciatedwomenhavefaintshadowsbeneaththeirlimpideyesand,moist-skinnedornot,theyaremuchtoopale,theirbrownskinstingedbyaclayishpallor.
Gandhijeereachesoutandsuddenlyseizesmyarminastartlingvice.‘Whatasickly-lookingchild,’heannounces,avoidingmyeye.‘Flushherstomach!Herskinwillbloomlikeroses.’
ConsideringhehasnotlookedmywayevenonceIamenragedbyhisobservation.‘Anenemaadaykeepsthedoctoraway,’hecrowsfeebly,chortlinginanelderlyandghoulishway,hisslightbodytwitchingwithglee,hiseyesriveteduponmymother.
Iconsiderallthistalkaboutenemasandcloggedintestinesinshockingtaste:andItakeadimandbitterviewofhisconcernformyhealthandwelfare.Turningupmynoseandlookingdownseverelyatthisimprobabletoss-upbetweenaclownandademonIampuzzledwhyhe’ssofamous–andsuddenlyhiseyesturntome.Mybrain,heartandstomachmelt.Thepureshaftofhumour,compassion,toleranceandunderstandinghedirectsatmefusesmetoeverythingthatisfeminine,funny,gentle,loving.Heisamanwholoveswomen.Andlamechildren.Andtheuntouchablesweeper–sohewilllovetheuntouchablesweeper’sconstipatedgirl-childbest.Iknowjustwheretolookforsuchachild.Hetouchesmyface,andinaburstofshynessIlowermyeyes.ThisisthefirsttimeIhaveloweredmyeyesbeforeman.
Itwasn’tuntilsomeyearslater–whenIrealisedthefullscopeanddimensionofthemassacres–thatIcomprehendedtheconcealednatureoftheicelurkingdeepbeneaththehypnoticanddynamicfemininityofGandhi’snon-violentexterior.
Andthen,whenIraisedmyheadagain,themenloweredtheireyes.
Chapter11
TheAprildaysarelengthening,beginningtogetwarm.TheQueen’sParkispacked.Groupsofmenandwomensitincirclesonthegrassandchildrenrunaboutthem.Ice-candy-man,leanashispopsiclesandasaffable,swarmingwithchildren,isgoingfromgrouptogroupdoinggoodbusiness.
Masseur,too,isgoingfromgrouptogroup;handsome,reserved,competent,assured,massagingbaldingheads,kneadingknottyshouldersandsoothingachinglimbs.
Ilieonthegrass,myheadonAyah’slap,baskingin–andintercepting–thewarmfloodofstaresdirectedatAyahbyhercircleofadmirers.TheFalletisHotelcook,theGovermentHousegardener,asleekandarrogantbutcherandthezooattendant,SherSingh,sitwithus.
‘Sheisscaredofyourlion,’drawlsAyah,playfullytappingmyforehead.‘Shethinkshe’sletlooseatnightandhewillgobbleherupfromherbed.’
SherSingh,wearinganoutsizeblueturbanandacallowbeard,sitsup.DelightedtobesingledoutbyAyah,helooksatmeearnestly:‘Don’tworry.I’llhangontohisleash,’heboasts,stammeringslightly.‘Hewon’tdareeatyou!’
I’mnottheleastbitreassured.Onthecontrary,Iamterrified.Thiscallowyouthwithastem-likeneckholdthezoolion?
‘Whatkindofleash?’Iask.
‘A-anironch-chain!’
It’smuchworsethanI’dimagined.Alionroaringbehindbarsisbadenough.Butalionstrainingonastoutleashheldbythisthin,stutteringSikhisunthinkable.Iburstintotears.
‘Nowlookwhatyou’vedone,’saysAyahinherusualgood-naturedmanner.Gatheringmeinherarmsandhuggingmesherocksbackandforth.‘Don’tbesilly,’shetellsme.‘Thelionisneverletoutofhiscage.Thecageissostrongahundredlionscouldn’tbreakit.’
‘And,’saysRamzanathebutcher,‘Igivehimajuicygoateveryday.Whyshouldhewanttoeatadriedupsticklikeyou?’
ThelogicisirrefutableduringdaylighthoursasIsitamongfriendsbeneathQueenVictoria’slion-intimidatingpresence.Butalone,atnight,thelogicwillvanish.
MasseurandIce-candy-mandriftovertousandjointhecircle.Masseurisrakinginmoney.Hehasinventedanoilthatwillgrowhaironbaldheads.Itiscomposedofmonkeyandfishglands,mustardoil,pearldustandanassortmentofherbs.Themenlistenintently,butMasseurstopsshortofrevealingthesecretrecipe.HeholdsupthebottleandAyahreachesouttotouchtheoil.
‘Careful,’saysMasseur,whippingthebottleaway.‘It’llgrowhaironyourfingertips.’
‘HaiRam!’saysAyah,quicklyretractingherfingers,androllinghereyesfromonefacetothenextwithfetchingconsternation.
Wealllaugh.
Nottobeoutdone,Ice-candy-mansayshehasdevelopedafirst-classfertilitypill.Heknowsitwillworkbuthehasyettotryitout.
‘I’llgiveitatry,’offerstheGovernmentHousegardener.
‘Yourwife’salreadyproducedchildren,hasn’tshe?’
‘Tch!Notforher,yaar.Formyself.Ifeeloldsometimes,’confessesthegreyinggardener.
‘Itisnotanaphrodisiac.It’safertilitypillforwomen,’explainsIce-candy-man.‘It’ssopotentitcanimpregnatemen!’
Thereisastartledsilence.
‘You’reajoker,yaar,’saysthebutcher.
‘No,honestly,’saysIce-candy-man,neglectfulofthecigarettebuttthatisuncoilingwispsofsmokefromhisfist.Hetoowillrakeinmoney.
Masseurclearshisthroatand,breakingthespellcastbythefertilitypill,enquiresofthegardener:‘What’sthelatestfromtheEnglishSarkar’shouse?’
Thegardener,congenialandhoary,isourprimesourceofinformationfromtheBritishEmpire’slocalheadquarters.
‘Itisrumoured,’hesaysobligingly,rubbingthepatchesofblackandwhitestubbleonhischin,‘thatLatSahibWavelldidnotresignhisviceroyship.’
Hepauses,dramatically,asifhe’salreadyrevealedtoomuchtofriends.Andthen,asifdecidingtoconsecratediscretiontoourfriendship,heservesupthechoicetitbit.
‘Hewassacked!’
‘Oh!Why?’asksIce-candy-man.WeareallexcitedbyarevelationthatinvitesustosharetheinsidetrackoftheRaj’sdoings.
‘Gandhi,Nehru,Patel…theyhavemuchinfluenceeveninLondon,’saysthegardenermysteriously,asifacknowledgingthearbitraryandmischievousnatureofanticgods.‘Theydidn’tliketheMuslimLeague’svictoryinthePunjabelections.’
‘Thebastards!’saysMasseurwithhistrionicfurythatconcealsagenuinebitterness.‘SotheysackWavellSahib,afairman!AndsendforanewLatSahibwhowillfavourtheHindus!’
‘Withallduerespect,malijee,’saysIce-candy-man,surveyingthegardenerthroughabluemistofexhaledsmoke,‘butaren’tyouHindusexpertatjustthiskindofthing?Twistingtailsbehindthescene…andgettingsomeoneelsetoslaughteryourgoats?’
‘What’sthenewLatSahiblike?ThisMountbattenSahib?’asksAyah.
She,likeMother,isanoilpourer.‘Isawhisphoto.Heishandsome!ButIdon’tlikehiswife,baba.Shelooksachoorail!’
‘Ah,butJawaharlalNehrulikesher.Helikeshervaaarymuch!’saysIce-candy-man,luridlydraggingoutthelasttwowordsofEnglish.
‘NehruandtheMountbattensarelikethis!’thegardenerconcurs,holdinguptwoentwinedfingers.Hisexpression,anattractiveblendofsheepishnessandvanity,reinforcestheimageofaseasonedinsidetracker.
‘IfNehruandMountbattenarelikethis,’saysMasseur,‘thenwho’sgoingtoholdourJinnahSahib’shand?MasterTaraSingh?’
Masseursaysthisinawaythatmakesussmile.
‘Ah-ha!’saysIce-candy-manasifsuddenlyenlightened.‘Sothat’swho!’HeslapshisthighandbeamsatusasifMasseurhasproposedabrilliantsolution.‘That’swho!’herepeats.
Thebutchersnortsandaimsacontemptuousgobofspitsomeyardsawayfromus.Hehasbeenquietallthiswhileandasweturnourfacestohimhegathershisstylishcottonshawloveroneshoulderandsays:‘Thatnon-violentviolence-monger–yourpreciousGandhijee–firstdeclarestheSikhsfanatics!Nowsuddenlyhesays:“Ohdear,thepoorSikhscannotlivewiththeMuslimsifthereisaPakistan!”Whatdoeshethinkweare–somekindofbeast?Aren’ttheylivingwithusnow?’
‘He’sapolitician,yaar,’saysMasseursoothingly.‘It’shisbusinesstosuithistonguetothemoment.’
‘IfitwasonlyhistongueIwouldn’tmind,’saysthebutcher.‘ButtheSikhsarealreadysupportingsometrumped-upMuslimpartytheCongressfavours.’Hehasadead-panwayofspeakingwhichisveryeffective.
TheGovernmentHousegardener,hisexpressionwaryandsympathetic,givesaloudsigh,andsays:‘ItistheEnglish’smischief…Theyarepastmastersatintrigue.Itsuits
themtohaveusallfight.
‘JusttheEnglish?’asksButcher.‘Haven’ttheHindusconnivedwiththeAngreztoignoretheMuslimLeague,andsupportapartythatdidn’twinasingleseatinthePunjab?It’sjustthekindofthingwefear.TheymanipulateoneortwoMuslimsagainsttheinterestsofthelargercommunity.AndnowtheyhavemanipulatedMasterTaraSinghandhisbleatingherdofSikhs!’HeglancesatSherSingh,hishandsome,smooth-shavenfacealmostexpressionless.
SherSinghshiftsuncomfortablyand,lookingascompletelyinnocentofMasterTaraSingh’sdoingsashecan,frownsatthegrass.
‘Arrey,youfoolishSikh!YoufellrightintotheHindus’trap!’saysIce-candy-mansofacetiouslythatSherSinghlosespartofhisnervousnessandsmilesback.
Theafternoonisdrawingtoaclose.Thegrassfeelsdamp.Ayahstandsupsmoothingthepleatsinherlimpcottonsari.‘IfallyoutalkofnothingbutthisHindu-Muslimbusiness,I’llstopcomingtothepark,’shesayspertly.
‘It’sjustadiscussionamongfriends,’saysIce-candy-man,uncoilinghisframefromthegrasstositup.‘Suchtalkhelpscleartheair…butforyoursake,wewon’tbringitupagain.’
Therestofuslookathimgratefully.
***
Thereismuchdisturbingtalk.Indiaisgoingtobebroken.Canonebreakacountry?Andwhathappensiftheybreakitwhereourhouseis?OrcrackitfurtheruponWarrisRoad?HowwillIevergettoGodmother’sthen?
IaskCousin.
‘Rubbish,’hesays,‘noone’sgoingtobreakIndia.It’snotmadeofglass!’
IaskAyah.
‘They’lldigacanal…’sheventures.‘ThissideforHindustanandthissideforPakistan.Iftheywanttwocountries,that’swhatthey’llhavetodo–crackIndiawithalong,longcanal.’
Gandhi,Jinnah,Nehru,Iqbal,TaraSingh,MountbattenarenamesIhear.
AndIbecomeawareofreligiousdifferences.
Itissudden.Onedayeverybodyisthemselves–andthenextdaytheyareHindu,Muslim,Sikh,Christian.Peopleshrink,dwindlingintosymbols.Ayahisnolongerjustmyall-encompassingAyah–sheisalsoatoken.AHindu.Carriedawaybyareneweddevotionalfervoursheexpendsasmallfortuneinjoss-sticks,flowersandsweetsonthegodsandgoddessesinthetemples.
ImamDinandYousaf,turningintoreligiouszealots,warnMothertheywilltakeFridayafternoonsofffortheJumhaprayers.OnFridaystheysetaboutpreparingthemselvesostentatiously.Squattingatopthecementwallofthegardentanktheyholdtheirfeetoutbeneaththetapanddiligentlyscrubbetweentheirtoes.Theywashtheirheads,arms,necksandearsandnoisilycleartheirthroatsandnoses.Allinwhite,checkprayerscarvesthrownovertheirshoulders,steppinguncomfortablyinstiffblackBatashoeswornwithoutsocks,theywalkoutofthegatestothesmallmosqueatthebackofQueensRoad.Sometimes,atoddhoursoftheday,theyspreadtheirmatsonthefrontlawnandpraywhenthemuezzincalls.Crammedintoanarrowreligiousslottheytooarediminished:asareJinnahandIqbal,Ice-candy-manandMasseur.
HariandMoti-the-sweeperandhiswifeMuccho,andtheiruntouchabledaughterPapoo,becomeevermoreuntouchableastheyareentrencheddeeperintheirlowHinducaste.WhiletheSharmasandtheDaulatrams,BrahminslikeNehru,aredehumanisedbytheirloftycasteandcaste-marks.
TheRogersofBirdwoodBarracks,QueenVictoriaandKingGeorgeareEnglishChristians:theylookdowntheirnosesuponthePenswhoareAnglo-Indian,wholookdowntheirsonthePhailbuseswhoareIndian-Christian,wholookdownuponallnon-Christians.
Godmother,Slavesister,Electric-auntandmynuclearfamilyarereducedtoirrelevantnomenclatures–weareParsee.
WhatisGod?
***
AllmorningwehearMucchoscreechingatPapoo.‘Iturnmyback;thebitchslacksoff!Isaysomething;shebecomesadeaf-mute.I’llthrashthewickednessoutofyou!’
‘Idon’tknowwhatjinn’sgottenintothatwoman,’saysAyah.‘Shecan’tleavethegirlalone!’
Ihavemadeseveraltripstotheback,hangingaroundthequartersonsomepretextorother,andwithmypresenceprotectingPapoo.
Papoohardlyeverplayswithmenow.Sheisforeverslappingthedoughintochapatties,orwashing,orcollectingdungfromtheroadandplasteringitonthewallsoftheirquarters.Thedrieddungcakesprovidefuel.
Intheeveningshesweepsourcompoundwithastiffreedjharoo,spendinganhourinalittlecloudofdust,aninfantstucktoherhiplikeagrowth.
Thoughshelooksmoreragged–andthin–herfaceandhandssplotchedwithpaledrypatchesandherlipscracked,sheisascheekyaseverwithhermother.Andforeversmilingherhandsomeroguishsmileatus.
LatethateveningAyahtellsmethatMucchoisarrangingPapoo’smarriage.
Iamsevennow,soPapoomustbeeleven.
Myperceptionofpeoplehaschanged.
Istillseethroughtotheirheartsandminds,buttheirexteriorssuperimposeanewsetofdistractingimpressions.
Thetuftofbodhi-hairrisinglikeatailfromHari’sshavenheadsuddenlyappearsfiendishandludicrous.
‘Whydoyoushaveyourheadlikethat?’Isaydisparagingly.‘Becausewe’vealwaysdoneso,Lennybaby,fromthetimeofmygrandfather’sgrandfathers…it’sthewayofourcaste.’
I’mnotsatisfiedwithhisanswer.
WhenCousinvisitsthateveningItellhimwhatIthink.‘JustbecausehisgrandfathersshavedtheirheadsandgrewstupidtailsisnoreasonwhyHarishould.’
‘Notasstupidasyouthink,’saysCousin.‘Itkeepshisheadcoolandhisbrainfresh.’
‘Ifthat’sso,’Isay,challenginghim,‘whydon’tyoushaveyourhead?Whydon’tMotherandFatherandGodmotherandElectric-auntand…’
CousinstopsmymouthwithhishandandasItrytobitehisfingersandwigglefree,heshoutsintomyearsandtellsmeabouttheSikhs.
Istopwiggling.HehasinformedmethattheSikhsbecomementallydeficientatnoon.Mymouthgrowsslackunderhispalm.Hecarefullyremoveshishandfrommygapingmouthand,resuminghisnormalspeakingvoice,furtherinformsme:‘Allthathairnotonlydrainsawaytheirgrey-matter,italsowarmstheirheadslikeatea-cosy.Andattwelveo’clock,whentheheatfromthesunisatitscraziest,itaddlestheirbrains!’
ItissomehoursbeforeIcanclosemygapingmouth.ImmediatelyIrushtoImamDinandaskifwhatCousinsaysistrue.
‘Sure,’hesays,pushinghishookahawayandstandinguptoraketheashes.
‘JusttheotherdayMrSinghmilkedhiscowwithoutabucket.Hedidn’tevennoticethepuddleofmilkontheground…Itwasexactlytwosecondspasttwelve!’
CousineruptswithafreshcropofSikhjokes.
AndthereareHindu,Muslim,Parsee,andChristianjokes.
***
Ican’tseemtoputmyfingeronit–butthereisasubtlechangeintheQueen’sGarden.SittingonAyah’scrossedlegs,leaningagainstherchocolatesoftness,againtheuneaseatthebackofmymindsurfaces.
IfidgetrestlesslyonAyah’slapandsheasks:‘Whatisit,Lenny?Youwanttodosoo-soo?’
Inod,forwantofabetterexplanation.
‘I’lltakeher,’offersMasseur,gettingup.
MasseurleadsmetotheQueen’splatform.SquattingbeneaththeEnglishQueen’ssteelyprofile,mybottombaredtotheeveningthrong,Irelievemyselfofatrickle.
‘Oye!Whatareyougapingat?’MasseurshoutsatalittleSikhboywhohaspausedtowatch.Hislonghair,securedinatop-knot,isprobablyalreadyaddlinghisbrain.
Masseurraiseshisarmthreateninglyandshouts:‘Scram!’
Theboyflinches,butreturninghiseyestome,stayshisground.
TheSikhsarefearless.Theyarewarriors.
Islidemyeyesawayand,pretendingnottonoticehim,standupandraisemyknickers.AsMasseurstraightenstheskirtofmyshortfrockIleanbackagainsthislegsandshylyogletheboy.
Masseurgropesformyhand.ButItwistandslipawayandruntotheboyandhe,pretendingtobeasteam-engine,‘chook-chooking’andglancingmyway,leadsmerompingtohisgroup.
TheSikhwomenpullmetotheirlapsandaskmynameandthenameofmyreligion.
‘I’mParsee,’Isay.
‘Okee?What’sthat?’theyask:scandalisedtodiscoverareligionthey’veneverheardof.
That’swhenIrealisewhathaschanged.TheSikhs,onlytheirrowdylittleboysrunningaboutwithhairpiledintop-knots,arekeepingmostlytothemselves.
Masseurleansintothegroupandplacingafirmhandonmyarmdragsmeaway.
WewalkpastaMuslimfamily.Withtheirburka-veiledwomentheytoositapart.Iturntolookback.Ienvytheirchildren.Dressedinsatinsandhighheels,thelittleMuslimgirlswearmake-up.
Agroupofsmooth-skinnedBrahminsandtheirpamperedmaleoffspringformatightcircleofsuperciliousexclusivitynearours.
OnlythegrouparoundAyahremainsunchanged.Hindu,Muslim,Sikh,Parseeare,asalways,unifiedaroundher.
IdiveintoAyah’slap.
AssoonasIamsettled,andAyah’sabsorptionisbackwiththegroup,thebutchercontinuestheinterruptedconversation:
‘YouHinduseatsomuchbeansandcauliflowerI’mnotsurprisedyouryogislevitate.Theyprobablyfarttheirwayrightuptoheaven!’Heslipshispalmbeneathhisarmpitand,flappinghisotherarmlikeachicken-wing,generatesasuccessionoffart-likesounds.
Ithinkhe’ssofunnyIlaughuntilmytummyhurts.ButAyahisnotlaughing.‘Stopit,’shesaystomeinaharshsombrewhisper.
SherSingh,whohadfoundtherudesoundsasamusing,checkshimselfabruptly.InoticehiscovertglanceslideinMasseur’sdirectionand,lookingalittlefoolish,hesuddenlytriestofrown.
ItwistonAyah’slaptolookatMasseur.Heisstaringimpassivelyatthegrinningbutcher:andButcher’sface,confrontedbyhisstoliddisfavour,turnsugly.
Butbeforehecansayanything,thereisadistraction.Anoisyandlunaticholyman–instrikingattire–hasjustenteredtheQueen’sGarden.Thumpingafive-footirontridentwithbellstiednearitsbase,theholymanlopesto-wardsus,shouting:‘YaAllah!’Astraight,green,sleevelessshiftreachestohishairycalves.Hiswristsandupperarmsarecoveredwithsteelandbeadbangles.Androundhisneckandchestiscoiledacolossalhunkofcopperwiring.Evenfromthatdistancewecantellit’stheIce-candy-man!I’veheardhe’sbecomeAllah’stelephone!
Abeardedman,fromthegroupofMuslimsIhadnoticedearlier,goestohimanddeferentiallyconductshimbacktohisfamily.AsIce-candy-manhunkersdown,Iruntowatchhim.
Awomaninamodern,greysilkburkawhisperstothebeardedman,andthemansays,‘SufiSahib,mywifewantstoknowifAllahwillgrantherason.Wehavefourdaughters.’
Thefourdaughters,rangingfromtwotoeight,weargoldhigh-heeledslippersandpricklybrocadeshirtsoversatintrousers.FrightenedbyIce-candy-man’sash-smearedfaceandeccentricmanner,theyclingtotheirmother.Inoticeaprotrusioninthelowerhalfofthewoman’sburkaandguessthatsheisexpecting.
Hismovementsassuredandelaborate,eyeballsrolledheavenwards,Ice-candy-manbecomesmysteriouslybusy.Heunwindspartofthewirefromthecoilroundhisnecksothathehasanendineachhand.Holdinghisarmswide,mutteringincantations,hebringsthetwoendsslowlytogether.Thereisamodestsplutter,andarainofbluesparks.Themadholymansays‘Ah!’inasatisfiedway,andweknowtheconnectiontoheavenhasbeenmade.Thegirls,clearlyfeelingtheirdistrustofhimvindicated,leanandwiggleagainsttheirmother,kicktheirfeetup,andwhimper.Theirmother’shanddartsoutoftheburka,andinonesmartswipe,shespanksallfour.NervouseyesonIce-candy-man,thegirlsstickafingerintheirmouthsandcowerquietly.
Holdingtheendsofthecopperwireinonehand,theholymanstretchestheotherskywards.Pointinghislongindexfinger,murmuringthemysticnumbers‘786’,hetwirlsaninvisibledial.Hebringstheinvisiblereceivertohiscarandwaits.Thereisapervasiverumble;asofatigerpurring.Wegrowtense.Then,startlinguswiththevolumeofnoise,themusclesofhisneckandjawsstretchedlikecords,thecrazedholymanshoutsinPunjabi:‘Allah?DoYouhearme,Allah?Thispoorwomanwantsason!Shehasfourdaughters…one,two,three,four!Youcallthisjustice?’
Ifindhisfamiliarityalarming.HeaddressesGodas‘tu’,insteadofusingthemorerespectful‘tusi’.I’msureifIweretheAlmightyI’dbeoffended;nomatterhowmadtheholyman!Idistancemyselffromhimmentally,andobservehimsternfacedandrebuking.
‘Haven’tYouheardherpray?’Ice-candy-manshouts.Coveringtheinvisiblemouthpiecewithhishand,inanapologeticaside,hesays:‘He’sbeenbusyoflate…Youknow;allthisIndianindependencebusiness.’Hebringsthereceivertohisearagain.
Suddenlyhespringsup.Thumpinghisnoisytridentontheground,performingacuriousjumpingdance,heshouts:‘WahAllah!WahAllah!’soloudlythatseveralpeoplewhohavebeenwatchingthegoings-onfromafar,hastilygetupandscamperover.Sikhs,Hindus,Muslimsformathickcircleroundus.InoticemylittleSikhfriend.IcantellfromthereverentfacesaroundmethattheybelievetheyareinthepresenceofaholymancrazedbyhisloveofGod.Andthemadderthemystic,thegreaterhispower.
‘Wah,Allah!’shoutsIce-candy-man.‘Thereisnolimittoyourmunificence!Toyou,kingandbeggararethesame!Toyou,thisson-lesswomanisqueen!Ah!theintoxicationofyourlove!Thedepthofyourcompassion!Theoceanofyourgenerosity!Ah!themiraclesofyourcosmos!’heshouts,workinghimselfintoastate.And,justassuddenlyasheleaptuptodancebefore,henowdropstothegroundinastonytrance.Ourearsstillringingfromhisshouts,weassumehissoulisincommunionwithGod.
Thewomanintheburka,believingthattheholymanhasintercededsuccessfullyonherbehalf,bowsherbodyingratitudeandstartsweeping.Thebeardedmanfumblesinthegathersofhistrousersandplacestwosilverrupees–bearingKingGeorge’simage–attheholyman’sentrancedtoes.
Holdingtheholyman’spiousfinger,feelingprivileged,Ireturntoourgroup.
‘Aiiayjee,aiiay!Sit,SufiSahib;sit!Wearehonoured!’exclaimthemeninhalfawed,halfmockingwelcome,makingroomforIce-candy-manbetweentheGovernmentHousegardenerandMasseur.Layinghistridentaside,lightingacigaretteandassuminghiscustomary,slouchingposeonthegrass,theholymanbecomesIce-candy-man.
TheGovernmentHousegardenerplaceshishandaffectionatelyonIce-candy-man’sthigh,andsays,‘Sufijee,haveyouheardthelatestabouttheLucknowMuslims?’Inhisquietway,heisgettinghisownbackforButcher’swise-cracksaboutthelevitatingvegetarianHindus.
TheoverlypoliteLucknowMuslimsarenotoriousforendlesslysaying:‘Afteryou,sir,’and‘No,sir,afteryou!’Myattentionisriveted.TheGovernmentHousegardenerrelateshisjoke.
TwoMuslimgentlemenarriveatapublictoiletatthesametime.
Oneinsists,‘Afteryou,sir.’
‘No,sir,youfirst!Afteryou!’insiststheother.
Until,eventually,oneofthemresignedlysays:‘Youmightaswellgofirst,sir…I’vebeen.’
Ayahbecomesbreathlesslaughingandalmostrollsonthegrass.Hersarislipsoffhershouldersandheradmirersrelishthebrowngleamofherconvulsedbellybeneathherskimpyblouse,andthefirmjoggleofherrotundbosoms.
AclutchofHinduchildrenwithcaste-marksontheirforeheads,curiousattheburstoflaughter,runuptimidlyandsuddenlyyell:‘ParseeParsee,croweaters!Croweaters!Croweaters!’
‘Wedon’t!Wedon’t!Wedon’t!’Iscream.
Thegardener,threateningtogetup,throwshisturbanatthemandtheyscamperinsquealingdisarray.
‘Whydotheysaythat?’Iaskfiercely.
‘Becausey’alldo“kaan!kaan!”atthetopofyourvoiceslikearowdyflockofcrows,’saysAyah.
Ice-candy-mantuckshisgreenshiftbetweenhislegsasifhe’swearingadhoti,andactinglikeatimidBanya,de-claims:
‘Wewereonlyseventeen;theywereagangoffour!
Howweran;howweran;aswe’dneverrunbefore!’
Itissoapttotheoccasionthatmyangervanishes.
Ihaveheardthiscoupletbefore.AglimpseoffourSikhs,MuslimsorParseesissupposedtosendamobofBanyasscurrying.
Chapter12
Astrangeblackboxmakesitsappearanceinmyparents’bathroom.
ItisSaturdayandCousinisvisitingfortheday.Mother,theindefatigablymirthsomeMrsBankwalla,MrsSinghandMaggiePhailbus,theschoolteacherwhoalsolivesonWarrisRoad,aresittingontheveranda.Havingdrawntheirchairsclosetothemarble-toppedcoffee-tabletheytalkinhushedvoicesthatfadeintosilencewhenwepass.EvenMrsBankwalla’sexplosiveconvivialityissubdued.I’venoticedalotofhushedtalkrecently.Inbazaars,restaurantsandlitteredalleysmenhuddleroundbicyclesorsquatagainstwallsinwhisperinggroups.
Weareplayingkick-the-caninthegarden.Cousin,AdiandPeterformoneteamandRosy,Ayah,Papoo-with-babe-on-hipandItheother.It’sgirlsversusboys,andhavingPapooonoursidecompensatesforRosy’serraticplay.
AbruptlyCousinputshishandonhisflyand,awkwardlyshufflinghisfeet,dashesaway.Thegameissuspended.
WhenCousinreturnswecantellbyhisstudiednonchalancehehassomethingtotell.Wegatherabouthim.Afterslidinghiseyesthiswayandthathelooksatusoutofthewideandinnocenteyeshedisplayswheneverhehassomethingtohide.Hesignalswithaslytiltofhishead,andAdi,shovingAyahfromtheback,rushesheroutofthegarden.Ayahgood-naturedlydisappearsintothekitchen.
‘Ihaveseensomethingstrange,’confidesCousinpor-tentously.‘Followme.’
Inafurtivegroupwemovepasttheporticotothesideofthehouse.Cousinpushesopenthebathroomdoor.WegetawhiffofDettoland,aswecrowdthesteps,Iimmediatelyseetheblackwoodenbox.Itisheavy-looking,aboutafoothigh,longand,narrow.Likeacoffinforaverythinman.Rosy,turningpale,whispers,‘Someoneisdead.’
Weareagreeditisacoffin.Itlookssinisterenough.Butthespeciesofthecorpsebafflesus.AdiandPetersquattoexaminethestays.
‘It’slocked,’saysCousin,whohasalreadyexaminedthelocks.Withoutawordheattemptstoliftthebox.Igiveahand.Rosyshiesaway.Theboxisheavy,andintheconstrictedspaceweareonlyabletoliftitafootorso.Wetrytoshakeitandtiltit.Thereisaveryslight,heavyanddullmovement.
‘Definitelyacorpse,’declaresPeter.
‘Asifyoucantell,’Isay.
‘Whatelsecantherebeinacoffin,stupid!’saysAdi.
WehearMother’svoice.Footstepsinthebedroom.Weexchangealertglancesandscamperintothegardentoresumeourgame.
Cousinkicksthemisshapencandistractedly,andourpursuitofhimishalf-heartedandabstracted.
Butnoonetellsuswhat’sinthatbox.
‘Asnake?Askeleton?Acorpse?’
Theservantsdon’tknow.Theotheradultsmaintainamaddeningsilence.Wearenottobeinquisitive:itbelongstoFatherandit’snobody’sbusinessbuthis.
Wewanderaboutwithglazed,preoccupiedeyesandpinchedfaces.Wewasteaway.
Electric-aunthasbeguntoforce-feedCousin.Shepincheshisnostrils:andwhenheopenshismouthtobreathepopsinatablespoonoffood.Shereleaseshisnostrilsonlyafterheswallowsthemorsel.
Motherbeginstositwithusatoursmalltablewiththeoil-clothand,beguilinguswithfairy-tales,charminguswithhervoice,slipsspoonfulsintoourmouths.
MucchochasesPapoowithabroomshouting:‘Hai,myfate!Ifthataccursedslutdiesonme,howwillIshowmyfacetoJemadarTotaRam?’
TotaRamisPapoo’sprospectivehusband…Analmostmythicalfigurenoone’sseen.
EvenMrsSinghhasbeguntosuperviseheroffspring’sfeed.
Gandhijeetooisoffhisfeed,wehear.ThereisaslaughterofMuslimsinBihar–hedoesnotwantittospreadtoBengal.
Itdoesn’t.
InspiredbyGandhijee,welaunchamoredeterminedfast.
Weturnsallow,hollow-eyed,pot-bellied.Electric-aunt’sfrenziedanxietybecomeschronic.Motherturnsintoaprophetessofdoom.‘Markmywords,’shesayseerily,‘you’llremainweaklingstherestofyourlives!’
Mucchohastakentobeatingherhollowbreastsandcrying:‘WhatfacewillIshowTotaRam?’AndMrsSinghismovedtowringherhands!
Theirstrategieschange.Cousinisforce-fedchocolatesandCarry-Homeice-creambymyresourcefulaunt.Theyareeasiertoforce-feedthanfood.Hegoesaboutwithstucknostrilsandanopenmouth.Mother’sfairy-talesturnintohorror-storiesandeverytimewe
formourlipsinan‘O’andsuckinourhorrifiedbreaths,weunwittinglyalsosuckinfood.TheirAmericanmotherissoupsetwhenshesitsbeforeRosy-Peter’shollowcheeksandfullplatesthatsheburstsintotears:andRosy-Peter,astoundedbythisspectacleofmaternalemotion,permithertopourfoodintotheirgapingmouths.Mucchohasstartedsweet-talkingandspoon-feedingherstupefiedandincredulousdaughter.
Col.Bharuchagivesuscalcium-and-glucoseinjections.
IftheywanttogetGandhijeetoeatthenexttimehefaststheyshouldsendforMucchoandElectric-auntandMotherandCol.Bharucha.AndeventheunformidableMrsSingh.
Asmysteriouslyasithasappeared,theboxdisappears.
***
WhileIleadthelifeofaspoiltlittlebratwithpretensionstodiet,fortymileseastofLahore,inaMuslimvillage,Rannaleadstheunspoiltlifeofavillageboyshornofpretensions.WhileAyahshovelsspoonfulsofchickenintomymouthasIdoodlewithPlasticine,Chidda,squattingbytheclayhearth,feedshersonscrapsofchapattidippedinbuttermilk.Allday,bakedbythesun,Rannarompsinthefieldsandplayswithdung.And–whenIclosemyeyesandIwishto–Iseeussquattingbeneaththebuffalo,ourmouthsopenandeyesclosed,asDostMohammaddirectssquirtsofmilkstraightfromtheudderintoourmouths–andIcanstilltasteitsfodderysweetness.
ItisalittleoverayearsincemyvisittoRanna’svillage.ImamDin,whofeelsthatthetensioninthecitieswillspreadtothevillages,andisconcernedforhisnumerouskininPirPindo,decidestopaythemanothervisit.WhenIexcitedlyprotestandexclaimthatIwillgowithhim,hesurprisesmebyagreeingatonce,inapreoccupiedway,thatIcanifMotherconsents.
MotherconsultsFather,herfriends,Ayah;andfinallygivesherhesitantpermission–providedwegobytrain.Trainsdon’tgotoPirPindo,butwecangetoffatThokar,andhireatongaforthetworemainingmiles.
WehavebeeninPirPindofortwodays.OnBaisakhi,thedaythatcelebratesthebirthoftheSikhreligionandofthewheatharvest,wegotoDeraTekSingh.IrideonImamDin’sshoulders,Rannaonhisfather’s–attheheadofaprocessionofnephews,uncles,cousins,brothers,grandsonsandgreat-grandsons.Thewomenandgirls–exceptforme,becauseIaminsistent,andfromthecity–staybehindasalways.ThemengototheBaisakhiFaireveryyear:beforeRannawasborn–beforehisgreat-grandfatherwasborn!
DostMohammadiswalkinginfrontofus.Hisheadwrappedinacrispwhitepuggaree,hislungibarelyclearingthemudbehindhissqueaky-newcurly-toedshoes,ahookahswinginginhisrighthand,helookslikeaprosperouslandlord:and,ridingatophisfather’sshoulders,Rannaimaginedthattheothervillagerslookedattheminaweandsaidamongthemselves(asPunjabis–evenlittleones–arewanttoimagine),‘Wah!There
goesthatfine-lookingzemindar;walkingattheheadofhisfamilywithhishandsomesononhishead!’
ItisthethirteenthofApril.Thewheathasbeenharvested;thespringrainshavespentthemselves,andtheearthispowdery.FromontopofImamDin’sheadIseetheothergroupsofvillagersconvergingonDeraTekSingh–Hindu,Muslim,Sikh–astheyraisetheirownmajestictrailsofdust.
Thefestivalisalreadyinfullswingwhenwearrive.Agroupoffourfierce-lookingSikhs,theirhairtiedinturbansandwearingcalf-lengthshirtsovertightchuridarpyjamas,performtheGhadkabeforedriftingwavesofadmirers.Wieldinglongswordsandstaves,clashingthemtothebeatofdrums,thedancerslunge,parry,andtwirltotheaccompanimentoffolksingersextollingthevalourofancientSikhwarriors.Thesingersshriek,theirvoiceshoarsefromthedust,andtheefforttobeheardabovetheuproar.Thereareseveralsuchgroups.
DostMohammadleadsustotheheartofthefair:totheridesandfoodstalls.Fryingonionpakoras.Abubbling,spicystewofchickpeas.Pinkandyellowcloudsofspun-sugarcandy.Helium-filledballoons.Oureverystepdeflectedbyaromas.Thefamilyscatters.RannaandIspendmostofoursmallallowanceonfood;stuffingourselvesonsyrupygulab-jamansandjalebis.Wescrambleforseatsonthecreakingferris-wheel,itssixwoodentraysswayingfromsixwoodenspokes.Eachtrayisjammedwithchildren,andthestonesthatarejuggledfromonetraytoanothertobalancethem.Agileattendantsscrambleamongthespokeslikeacrobatstoturnthewheelwiththeweightoftheirbodies.DostMohammadliftsusintoatray.Idon’ttrusttheshallowrailingguardingus;andasweorbit,ourdelightedlimbscramped,oureyesnarrowedagainstthewind,IclingtoRanna.Holdingthericketyedgeoftheswayingtraywithonehand,hesupportsmewiththeother.
Weridethemerry-go-roundswithmetalseatsandtheseesaws.Anddespitethegaietyanddistractions,Rannasensesthechillspreadbythepresenceofstrangers:theirunexpectedfacesharshandcold.ASikhyouthwhomRannahasmetafewtimes,andwhohasalwaysbeenkind,pretendsnottonoticeRanna.Othermen,whowouldnormallysmileatRanna,slidetheireyespast.Littlebylittle,withouthisbeingawareofit,hissmilebecomesstrainedandhislaughterstrident.‘What’sthematter?’Iaskhim.‘Nothing,’hesays,surprised.
IntheafternoonDostMohammadtakesuswithhimtovisitJagjeetSingh.HehashishookahwithhimsohewaitsoutsidetheGurdwarawhilewegointosummonthegranthi.JagjeetSinghissittingcross-leggedinfrontofanopenGranthSahib.Itisrestingonanelaboratelycarvedwalnutstand.Ihaveneverseenabooksolarge.Surely,ifGoddwellsinbooks,Hedwellsinoneaslarge!LaterthatnightRannatoldmethathehadwishedthattheholyKorantheirmullahoccasionallydisplayedwaslarger.
JagjeetSinghleadsustohischarpoybeneathayoungbanyanalreadyspreadingitstendershadeoverpartofthetemplewall.HeshoutstoaSikhboywashingutensilsatawelltofetchtea.DostMohammadasksthegranthi’spermissiontolighthishookah.
DostMohammadhasnoticedthepresenceofstrangerstoo.Aftertheboyhandsusourtea,andwesettledowntoblowingintoandsippingfromthesteamingbrassmugs,heasks:‘JagjeetSingh-jee,youhavealargenumberofvisitorstothefairthisyear…Allthosestalwartsinblueturbanswithstavesandlongkirpans…?’
Thegranthi’sgenialfacebecomesuncommonlysolemn.HerubsthepuffyskinaroundhiseyesandInoticehowoldandtiredhelooks.‘Idon’tknowwhattosay,’hesays,bowinghishead.‘TheyareAkalis…TheImmortals…MaharajaRanjeetSinghformedthesectwhenheconqueredthePunjabahundredyearsago.’And,thoughthereisnooneelsethatIcansee–theSikhboyisinanycasetoofarawaytohear–hemovesclosertoDostMohammad.Loweringhisvoice,hesays:‘IvisittheGoldenTempleatAmritsarfromtimetotime…TheAkalisswarmarounditlikeangryhornetsintheirblueturbans…Iwishthey’dremainthere!’Hepauses;then,scratchinghiscurlybeardandfrowninghesays:‘TheytalkofaplantodrivetheMuslimsoutofEastPunjab…TodividethePunjab.Theysaytheywon’tlivewiththeMussulmansifthereistobeaPakistan.Owlishtalklikethat!Youknow,citytalk.It’smadness…Itcan’tamounttoanything…butthey’vealwaysbeenlikethat.Troublemakers.You’llhavetolookouttillthisevilblowsover.’
Idon’tknowwhereImamDinis.IwishtoGodhewerehere!Itis,almostexactly,whathe’sbeentellingthevillagersforthepasttwodays.DostMohammadappearstohavesunklowerintothecharpoy.Heisquietforsolongthatthegranthiturnstolookathimanxiously.IfeelDostMohammad’sthightwitchagainstmine.Heraiseshisheadslowly,andatlasthesays,‘We’lllookout…Don’tworryJagjeetSingh-jee…Wekeeptrackofthingsonourchaudhry’sradio.’
‘MaytheTenGurushelpus,’thegranthisighs.‘WahGuru!’
Ashortwhilelater,pressingthesmallofhisback,andactingold,ImamDinlumbersup,sighing,‘YaAllah!YaRahman!YaRahim!’Seeingourmugs,heasksfortea.Othermen,SikhandHindufriendsandafewvillagersfromPirPindo,strollupintwosandthrees,andgrouparoundthegranthi’scot.TheytalkofeverythingbuttheintrusivepresenceoftheAkalis.BeforeduskDostMohammad’syoungerbrother,Iqbal,joinsus.HehasboughtsomelandinavillagefourmileswestofPirPindoandhadmovedthere.HiswifeisRanna’sfavouriteaunt.HelovesgoingtotheirvillagetoplaywithhiscousinsandtobespoiltbyhisNonichachi.Shealwayshassomethingspecialforhimtoeatorwear,hetellsme.Hisuncletossesaknittedskull-capintoRanna’slap,saying,‘Here’ssomethingfromyourNonichachi,pahailwan!’HecallsRannapahailwan,wrestler.Itisanaffectionateformofaddress.Rannawearsthecapatonceandhisunclelaughsandmusseshishair.
‘You’dbetterleavebeforeitgetsdark,’JagjeetSinghsaysquietlytoDostMohammad;theothermenaretalkingamongthemselves.‘There’snotellingwho’saboutthesedays…andnotallofthemareyourfriends.’
Thesunhasset,butitisstilllightenoughtosee.Rannawasleaningagainsthisfatherwhenthegranthispoke.Thetoneofthegranthi’svoice,thesadness,andtheresignationinit,turnedtheheavinessinRanna’sheartintothefirststaboffear.Eveninretrospect,theseisolatedimpressionsdidn’tadduptoareliablewarning.PirPindowastoodeepinthehinterlandofthePunjab,wheredistancesaremeasuredinfootstepsandatthespeedofbullock-carts,forlargerpoliticstopenetrate.
TheSikhsofDeraTekSinghescortushalfwaytoPirPindo.
Thateveningwecrowdintothechaudhry’scourtyardtolistentohisradio.TheCongressandMuslimLeaguespokesmen,theannouncersays,warnthepeasantsnottoheedmischievousrumours.EvenMasterTaraSingh,theleaderoftheAkaliSikhs,tellsthepeasants–especiallytheMuslims–toremainwheretheyare.Noonewilldisturbthem.
***
Afewdayslater,inLahore,wehearofattacksonMuslimvillagesnearAmritsarandJullunder.Buttheaccountsarecontrary–andthedetailssobrutalandbizarrethattheycannotbebelieved.ImamDintellsYousafandAyahthatheissureitisAkalipropaganda,calculatedtoscaretheMuslimpeasants.Andevenifitdoesscarethem,heasks,whatgoodwillitdotheAkaliSikhs?WherecanthescaredMuslimvillagersgo?Therearemillionsofthem.EvensupposeDostMohammadandhisfamilyleavePirPindo,whichtheycan’t…howcantheyabandontheirancestors’graves,everyinchoflandtheyown,theirotherkin?howwilltheyeverholduptheirheadsagain?SupposeeverysinglepersoninPirPindocanholdhisownsomeplaceelse–eventhenmillionsofMussulmanswillbeleftinEastPunjab!Wherewilltheygo?No,hesays,Ihaveseenformyself;theycannotthrowtheMussulmansout!
***
AfortnightaftertheBaisakhiFair,lateintheafternoon,anarmytruckdisgorgesafamilyofvillagersoutsideourgate.Hearingthenoise,Iruntothekitchen.ImamDinisstandingintheopendoor,staringatastringofmen,womenandchildrenastheytroopupourdrive.IrecognisesomeofthefacesfromPirPindo;theyaredistantkin–notofhisimmediatefamily–cousins,nephewsorgreat-grandnephewsthriceremoved.Iwonderhowhewillaccommodatethemallinhisquarters.Ayahhasonelookathisfaceandsays,‘Go,greetthem.I’llpreparetheteaandparathas.’YousafandHari,followedbyImamDin,welcomethevillagersandleadthemtothequartersattheback.
ThewomenandchildrenaredistributedamongImamDinandAyah’squarters.ThemenwillsleepinHariandYousaf’s.Thereisasteepfallinthetemperatureatnight,anditisstilltoocoldtosleepout.Itisdifficulttocountthem;thebabiesalllookalike.
Excludingthetinybabies,thereareatleastfifteenguests.Asthemensquatinthecourtyard,eatingfromacommontrayasMuslimsdo,theytelluswhathappenedthenightbefore.Theytellthestoryvividly,inthewayofpeasants,repeatingthedialogue,presentingeachdetailofexpressionandmovement,trans-portingustothevillage.
LateintheeveningthreemilitarylorrieshadlumberedintoPirPindogougingdeeprutsinthefieldsandlayingwasteswathesofsugarcane,TheywereGurkhasoldierscometoevacuatethem.
‘ThoseMussulmanswhowanttogotoPakistanhadbettergetintothetruck,’asoldiershoutedthroughamegaphone.Hewasshortandstockylikemostofhisrace,andhissmallTibetanfeaturesappearedfrighteninglyalientothevillagers.‘Wewillleaveatdawn.’
‘What?’thepuzzledvillagersasked.‘IsPakistanalreadythere?’
‘Whoknows,’saidtheGurkha.‘I’mtellingwhatI’mtoldtosay.’
Thevillagersgatheredintheopenyardoftheirmosque.Theysquattedinatightarcroundthemullahandthechaudhry.Iimaginetheirfaces:obstinate,dazed.Andthechaudhry’sas,smilingwryly,attemptingwithsarcasmandwisdomtomaskhispanic,hesays:‘Doyouexpectustowalkawaywithourhandsandfeet?Whatusewilltheyserveuswithoutourlands?Canyouevacuateourland?’heaskscunningly.Andthevillagers,asiftheyareatadebatewheretheirchaudhry’switisscoringpoints,nodtheirheadsandsay:‘Wha!Wha!Wellsaid!Whatanswerdoyouhavetothat,HawaldarSahib?’
TheypepperedtheGurkhaswithformidablequestions.‘Andwhataboutourharvest?’theyasked.‘Andthecropwehavejustsown?Andourcattle?Whowillevacuatethem?’
Thesoldiers,unimpressedbythesarcasmandindifferenttothevillagers’confusionandtroubles,shruggedandsaid,‘We’rejustheretoevacuateyou:hands,feetandheads.Nothingelse.We’vetoldyouwhywe’rehere;therestisuptoyou.’
‘Doyouexpectustoleaveeverythingwe’vevaluedandlovedsincechildhood?Theseasons,theangleandcolourofthesunrisingandsettingoverourfieldsarebeautifultous,theshapeofourroomsandbarnsisfamiliaranddear.Youcan’texpectustoleavejustlikethat!’
Thesoldierswereweary.Theystoodup.‘You’renottheonlyvillagewearetoevacuate,youknow,’oneofthemsaid.
Thechaudhryremainedquietandthesilencesettledlikeablackcloudovertheirheads,blockingoutthestars.Atlastthechaudhrysaid:‘Ifwehavetogo,ifit’sAllah’swill,wewillgowhenthetimecomes…Therighttime…’
‘Yes…Whenthetimecomes,weshallsee…saidthevillagers.
Thetrucksleftatdawn.Fivefamilies,wholikeourvisitorswerepoorrelativesandhiredhands,withnolandinthevillage,leftPirPindo,notcaringonewayortheotherwherethesunroseorset.
Chapter13
Thetimeshavechanged;theworldhaschangeditsmind.
TheEuropean’smysteryiserased.
Thesecretofhisconjuringtricksisknown:
TheFrankishwizardstandsandlooksamazed.
(Iqbal)
Alreadyitiswinter.Iamneverwarm.Ifeelcoldestinthemistymorningswhen,holdingHari’scallousedhandwithmychilblainedfingers,IwalkonchilblainedtoestoMrsPen’s.
ThecolderitgetsthemorereservedHaribecomes.Iknowheissecretlyshivering.ColdturnsmeweepyandHarisecretiveandMrsPenindulgent.Sheletsmeoffearly.
AtGodmother’sIgostraighttothekitchen.Iamhungry.Slavesisterwarmssomeleft-overcurryandgivesmethenewsthattheInspectorGeneralofPolice,MrRogers,isdead.Murdered.Hismutilatedbodydiscoveredinthegutter.
ForamomentIcannotbreathe.IfeelImightfall.
Iknowofdeath:agrandfatherdiedinKarachiandhisremainswereconsignedtotheTowerofSilence.Moti’srelativesareforeverdying…Buttheyweren’tmurdered.Ormutilated.Andtheyweren’tpeopleIknew!
‘Howmutilated?’Iask,shocked.
‘Neveryoumind,’saysSlavesister.
IhaveseengoatsslaughteredattheendoftheMuslimfastonEid.I’vewatchedthembeingdisembowelledand,withtheotherchildren,lineduptoblowintotheirmoistwindpipesandinflatetheirlungs.Butthoseweregoats.Nottallmenwithmoustachesandhaughtyvoicesandpolishedshoesandsubmissivewives…
‘Willhegotoheaven?’Iaskbreathlessly,clutchingatstraws.
‘Tohell!’saysMiniAuntywithunexpectedviciousness:givingmeanothershock.‘AllEnglishmenwillburninhellforthetroublethey’vestartedinthePunjab!Andletmetellyou.TheChristianhellisforever!’
Therelishinhervoiceisghoulish.IfeelsoupsetattheawfulfateawaitingMrRogers’smutilatedcarcassthatIcollapseonastool.Icannotfacethecurry.Irecallthepolice
inspector’schillyblueeyesthatsonarrowlyescapedmutilationbyMrSingh’sforkandthespit-polishedearsofhisorphanedchildren.
Istartsobbing.Godmothersitsupinbedandcalls:‘Hey!What’sthematter?’
‘MrRogersisdead,’Isaychokingonthewords.‘Hewillburninhellforever!’
‘Whosaidthat?’demandsGodmother,knowingverywellwho.
‘MiniAunty.’(That’sSlavesister’spet-name.I’veneverheardherrealname.)
‘Iknowwho’sgoingtoroastforeveriftheydon’twatchout!’saysGodmother.‘Don’tlistentoMini.Shehasnomoresensethanatwit!’
‘AftertheMountbattenplantotearupthePunjab…howcanyou…’mumblesSlavesister,shakingherheadatthestoveandlookingmartyred.
‘Ifyourmutilatedbodywasdiscoveredinthegutterthenyou’dknowhowitfeels!Bad-mouthingadeadman!’
Slavesisterclickshertongueandpeersintoasteamingpanandextrasweetlysmilesbecausesheisonthevergeoftears.Herpalebrownlips,thatdespitetheirclearoutlineandgenerouswidthareflat,flattenfurtherandstretchmoistly.
‘WilltheyputMrRogersintotheTowerofSilence?’Iask,comingtotheslave’srescue–andattemptingtogetthederailedconversationbackontrack.
‘He’sChristian.They’llburyhim,’saysGodmother.
ItoccurstomethatIdon’tknowenoughabouttheTower.PerhapsIwastooyoungwhenIfirstheardofit…TheshockofMrRogers’sdemisemakesmecuriousaboutallaspectsofdying.‘WhatistheTowerofSilence?’Iask.
‘WecallitDungarwadi:notTowerofSilence.TheEnglishhavegivenitthatfunnyname…Actuallyitisquiteasimplestructure:justabigroundwallwithoutanyroof,’saysGodmother.
‘So?’Ipersist.
‘Sonothing!’interjectstheungratefulslavecrankily.‘Whenlittlegirlsasktoomanyquestionstheirtonguesdropoff!’
‘Iwasn’taskingyou,’Iretort,andpokingmytongueather,pointedlyturntoGodmother.Godmothernevertalksdowntomelikethat.
‘ThedeadbodyisputinsidetheDungarwadi,’explainsGodmother.‘Thevulturespickitcleanandthesundriesoutthebones.’
ImustlookfrightfulbecauseGodmotherpatsthebedandsays,‘Comehere.’
Isitdown,facingher,anddrawingmecloseshesays:‘Mindyou…It’sonlythebodythat’sdead.Insteadofpollutingtheearthbyburyingit,orwastingfuelbyburningit,we
feedGod’screatures.Thesoul’sinheaven,chattingwithGodinanycase…OrbroilinginhelllikeMini’swill.’
Ifeelcuriouslydeprived.Here’sanarchitecturalwondercreatedexclusivelybythecharitableParseestofeedGod’screaturesandIhaven’tevenseenit.AndIdon’twanttowaituntilI’mdead!MrRogers’smurderedandmutilatedbodyisforgottenandmyeyesstoptearing.
‘Iwanttoseeit,’Idemand.
‘Wedon’thaveoneinLahore,’saysGodmother.‘TherearetoofewParsees:thevultureswouldstarve.ButwhenyougotoKarachiorBombayyoucanseeitfromtheoutside.Onlypall-bearerscangoin…Wehaveagrave-yardinLahore.’
‘ThankGod!’saysMiniAuntysoemphaticallythatGodmother–whoviewsallemphaticstatementsfromMiniAuntyasdirectchallengestoherauthority–rearsupfromherpillowsdemanding:‘Why?What’stheretothankGodfor?’
‘Iprefertobeburied.’
‘Oh?Why?’
‘Youknowwhy!Itgivesmethecreeps…Thethoughtofvulturessmackingtheirbeaksovermyeyeballs!’
‘You’dratherhaveyoureyeballsriddledbymaggots?Wouldyoulikemetopostasignoveryourbodystating:Maggotsonly.Novulturesallowed?’
‘Really,Rodabai!Idon’twanttotalkorthinkaboutit.PleaseforgetIever…’
‘Idon’tknowwhatyouhaveagainstthepoorvultures…favouringthemaggotsandwormsoverthem!I’dbeashamedtocallmyselfaZoroastrianifIwereyou.’
‘Beingdevouredbyvultureshasnothingtodowiththereligion…SurelyZarathustrahadmoreimportantmessagestodeliver…’
‘SincewhenhaveyoubecomeanauthorityonZarathustra?’demandsGodmother.‘Haven’tyouheardofParseecharity?OnlylastmonthSirEduljeeAdenwallahadhislegamputatedinBombay.Sickashewas,hesatinawheelchairallthroughtheceremoniesandhadhislegdepositedintheDungarwadi!AndwhatdoyouthinkhappenswhenParseediabetics’toesarecutoff?Doyouthinktheydiscardtheminthewaste-basketanddeprivethevultures?’
HoldingthedrippingladlealoftMiniAuntycoversherearswithherplumpandmusculararmsandsays:‘Idon’twanttoknow!’
EvenI’mfeelingqueasy.Godmotherlooksatmeandholdsherpeace;andMiniAunty,pressingheradvantage,says:‘Imustsay,youcanbeghoulishsometimes.Iwishyouwouldn’ttalksuchnonsensebeforethechild…’
‘Whatdoyoumean,nonsense?’challengesGodmother.‘Whowastheonetalkingabouteternalroastingsinhell?’
‘YouknowwhatImean,Roda…Nowdon’t…’
‘Who’sRoda?Who’spermittedyoutocallmeRoda?Sincewhenhaveyoubecomemyeldersister?’
‘YouknowIdidn’tmeanitthatway.’
‘Whichwaydidyoumeanit,then?’
Slavesister,almostontiptoe,hoversquietlyoverthestove.Herwetsmileisflattening.Hereyesdonotdaretoshiftfromthebubblingcontentsofthepansheisstirring.
‘Somepeoplearegettingtoobigfortheirboots…Somepeoplearebecomingquiteairy-fairy!’
Slavesistermumbles:‘Onlymybunion’sgettingtoobig…I’llcutitoffandmailittotheDungarwadi.’
‘What?’queriesGodmother.‘WhatisyourHighnessmumbling?’
‘Oh!Allright,allright!Carryon…youmusthaveeverythingyourway,Rodabai…fillingthechild’smindwithsuchnotions…mumble,mumble.’
‘Don’tyouallright,allrightme!I’llhaveyourcarcassflownstraighttothevultures!’
Slavesisterdoesn’tanswer.Onlyshakesherheadandmutters.Shewillnotanswerbacknow.Shetoohaslearnedfromexperience.
‘Smallmouth,bigtalk!’grumblesGodmotherasiftoherself,butloudenoughforSlavesistertohear.‘Littlemindsshouldnotattempttoweighinbigfish!’
Stillpoisedforattack,eyesbright,GodmotherwaitstoseeifSlavesisterwillrespond.
ButSlavesister’sinsurgencehasbeeneffectivelysquashed.Shemaintainsastrategicsilence,suppressingevenhermumbles.
Godmothermakesamagicallytriumphantface.Sheholdsherpointyfingersina‘V’forvictory,winksatmeandleansbackonherconcretepillows.
IgointothekitchentofinishmycurrybutIcannoteat.MrRogers’sEnglishtoesandkidneysfloatbeforemydisembodiedeyeballs…
AndthevisionofatornPunjab.Willtheearthbleed?Andwhataboutthesunderedrivers?Won’ttheirwaterdrainintothejaggedcracks?NotsatisfiedbybreakingIndia,theynowwanttotearthePunjab.
Yousafcomestofetchme.Thesunhashadtimetowarmtheafternoon.Itisbalmy.‘Let’sgothroughtheLawrenceGardens,’Iurge,andYousaf,unabletodenyanyone,makesthedetourthroughthegardens.Westopalongatrimmedgardeniahedgetolookatthesunken
rose-garden;andweclamberuptheslopesofartificialhillsandrundownbougainvillaeavalleysablazewithwinterflowers.CastinglongshadowswetakeapathleadingtowhereYousafhasparkedhiscycle.
OurshadowglidesoveraBrahminPandit.Sittingcross-leggedonthegrassheiseatingoutofaleaf-bowl.HelooksatYousaf–andatme–andhisfaceexpressesthefullrangeofterror,passionandpainexpectedofaviolatedvirgin.Ourshadowhasviolatedhisvirtue.ThePanditcringes.Hisfeaturesshrivelintoaridlittleshrimpsandhisbodyretracts.Thevermillioncaste-markonhisforeheadglowslikeanaccusingeye.Helooksathisfoodasifitisinfectedwithmaggots.Squeamishlypickinguptheleaf,hetipsitscontentsbehindabushandthrowsawaytheleaf.
Iamadiseasedmaggot.IlookatYousaf.Hisfaceisdrainedofjoy,bleak,furious.Iknowhetoofeelshimselfcomposedofshit,crawlingwithmaggots.
NowIknowsurely.Oneman’sreligionisanotherman’spoison.
Iexperiencethisfeelingofutterdegradation,ofbeinganuntouchableexcrescence,anoutcastagain,yearslaterwhenIholdoutmyhandtoaParseepriestataweddingandhe,thinkingIammenstruatingbeneathmyfaçadeofdiamondsandasequinnedsari,cringes.
***
Latethateveningthereisafamiliarpatternofsound.
Againthey’reafterHari’sdhoti.Butinsteadofthelight,quickpatterofbarefeetthereistheharshscrapeanddragofleatheronfrozenearth.
Itdoesn’tseemquiterighttotoywithaman’sdhotiwhenitissocold.Itisasummersport.
Someoneshouts,‘Gethimbeforehegetsintohisquarters!’IhearImamDin’sbullying,bluffbarrukashebellows:‘Aha-hurrr!A-vaaaaaaay!’And,closertohisquarry,Yousaf’sprovocativebubbly‘Vo-vo-vo-vo-vo-vo,’asrunninghetapshismouthinquicksuccession.Curses!HairallovermybodycreepsaslantasIhearHari’salarmedcry.
SnatchingmeupandstraddlingmeonherhipAyahflingsopenthebathroomdoorandrunsout.Iamstruckbythecold:andtheapproachofnightcastsuneasyshadowsoverasceneIhavewitnessedonlyindaylight.Somethingelsetooisincongruous.ThewintershawlwrappedaroundHari.
Yousafistwirlinghisplumeofhairandtuggingatitasifhe’stryingtolifthim.IfeelagreatswelloffearforHari:andasurgeofloathingforhisbodhi.Whymusthepersistingrowingit?andflaunthisHinduism?andinviteridicule?
Andthatpreposterousandobscenedhoti!wornlikeadiaperbetweenhisstringylegs–justbeggingtobetakenoff!
Mydreadassumingaviolentandcruelshape,ItearawayfromAyahandflingmyselfonthehumantangleandfighttoclawatHari’sdhoti.
Someonepullsoffhisshawlanditistrampledunderfoot.Handsstretchandpullhisunravellingmauvelady’scardigan(Mother’shand-me-down)andripoffhisshirt.Hisdhotiishanginginraggededgesand,suddenly,it’soff!
LikeawitheredtreefrozeninawinterlandscapeHaristandsisolatedinthebleakcentreofourviolence:pricklywithgoose-bumps,sootygenitalsondisplay.
Withheavy,old-man’smovements,ImamDinwrenchestheshawlfromunderourfeetandthrowsitatthegardener:andthetatteredragthatwashisdhoti.‘Coverup,youshamelessbugger,’hesays,attemptinghisusualbanteringmanner:butthereisagruffuncontrollableedgetohisvoice.Heisnotateasewithcruelty.
Ilookback.TheShankarsstandontheirverandalikefatshadows.Ayahhasturnedherfaceaway.Iruntoher.Idigmyfaceinhersariandstretchupmyhands.Ayahtriestoliftmebutherfluidstrengthisgone.Hergripisweak.Ihugherfiercely.HerheartbeneathherspringybreastsisflutteringlikeIce-candy-man’snervoussparrows.Sheraisesfrightenedeyesfrommyfaceand,turningtofollowhergaze,Iseeanobscuredshapestandingbythecompoundwall.Stirredbyabreeze,theshadowscastbyaeucalyptustreeshiftandsplinter,anddefinethestillfigureofaman.
Themanmovesoutofthedarkness,andasheapproachesIamrelieved.ItisonlyIce-candy-man.
Chapter14
AyahisseeingmoreofMasseur.So,soamI.WhenAyah’sworkisdone,andshestretchesoutintheafternoonsun,massagingbutterintohercalvesandsmoothshins,shehumsanewtuneandsighs:‘Siskihawanelee:HarpatiKanpoothi.Thebreezesuckedinhisbreath…Theleavestrembled,breathless.’It’sMasseur’ssong.Hesingsitinarumbling,soulfulbaritone:andhesingsoften.
IamseeingmoreofLahore,too.AyahandIroamonfootandbybus:fromEmperorJehangir’stombatShahdaratoShahjehan’sShalimarGardens.FromtheoutskirtsoftheslaughterhousetothebanksoftheRaviinlowflood.Weamblethroughthetallpampasgrass–purposefullypurposeless–andsniffingtheattarofroses,happenuponMasseur:hiscreamybosky-silkshirt,hisstrongforearmsandbroadanklesstretchedoutonadhurrieonthegreysand.
Hiscruetsetofoilsbesidehim,Masseurturns,makingroomforAyah,andhiseyes,fullofhoney,showerherwithhismaddeningdreams.Theylie,sidebyside,astalkofgrassstuckatathoughtfulanglebetweenMasseur’steethashetraceswithaskilfulfingerAyah’spartedlips.
IgetupandMasseursays,‘Lennybaby,don’tgofar.’Hisvoiceisgravellywithdesireanditmakessomethinghappeninmystomach:aswhenSharbatKhan,radiantwithlove,oglesAyah.
IknowAyahisbeyondspeech–herwillgivenovertoamaestro’svirtuosity.Masseur’sconsummatearmcirclesAyah…
Caressingmethroughthepampasthebreezemoanswithlove–andbringstomeMasseur’ssong:
‘Springbloomedinmoonlitwildernesses–
Headywithsaptheflowersswayed–
Andarose,bubbling,
Dancinginthebreeze,
Attractedabumble-bee–
Floating,frolicking,thebumble-beecame–
Struttingamongtheflowers,strumminglove.’
Andso,thebumble-beecourtstherose.Ilistentothewordsunfoldingtherose’stragicstoryandwaitintentlyforthechangeinMasseur’svoice.
‘Andthenoneday[hesingsinaverylowandurgentkey]
Whenallwashushed–
Nostars,andintheskynomoon–
Thebeestoletherose’syouth–’
Thereitis.Thefearfulandtragicclimax!Theroseawakens,weeps,shrivels,swoons!Andnature,inallitsmarvelloustenderness,commiserates:
‘Thebreezesuckedinhisbreath–
Theleavestrembledbreathless–
Moist-eyedthestarswinkedout–
Iwaitawhile,watchingtheshallowboatsdriftsluggishlyontheshallowRavi.Themeninthem,stillasthedead,remaincomatoseastheboats,bumpingalongtheshoals,rightthemselvesandfloatslowlydownstream.
***
WehearMasseur’ssongcallingfromthefountains,cypressesandmarbleterracesoftheShalimarGardens.WehearhimsingingfromthegiddyheightsoftheminaretsloomingaboveEmperorJehangir’stomb–directinghisvoicelikeashowerofpetalstosummonAyah.
Ayahcomes.Andwithher,likealamelimpet,comeI.
WefindMasseurwaitingforusontheartificialhillbehindthezoolion’scageandbythechatteringmonkeysandamongthepeacocks.TheheavypleatsofhisMultani-silklungifallinslenderfoldstohisanklesasleaningagainstthepalinghewaitsforAyah.Andwhenshecomes,thepeacocksspreadtheirtailfeathers.AndMasseur’smovementsunfoldtherichpleatsinhischeckedlungi.
WhereMasseuris,Ayahis.AndwhereAyahis,isIce-candy-man.
Isensehispresence.
WhileMasseur’svoiceluresAyahtothedizzyeminenceofoneminaret,itcompelsIce-candy-mantoclimbthewindingstairstotheotherminaret.OntheriverbankIsensehisstealthypresenceinthetallclumpsofpampasgrass.HelurksinthedenseshadeofmangoesintheShalimarGardensandinthefearsomesmellsskirtingtheslaughterhouse…Heprowlsontheothersideoftheartificialhillbehindthezoolion’scage,andconcealshimselfbehindthepeacockswhentheyspreadtheirtailfeathersandopentheirturquoiseeyes:hehasasmanyeyes,andtheyfollowus.
IntheeveningshevisitsAyahandsquattinglikeanungainlybirdinhiscottonshawlastoundsherwithhisknowledgeofourwanderings.Andwhenhisdriventoesaretoo
wearytoperformtheiramazingseduction,hisglibtonguetakesover.Ayah,wide-eyed,wrappedinthesilkenwebofhisgossip,drawscloser…
Ice-candy-manhasaninexhaustiblefundofgossip.
‘Ourliontamergotridofhistenantsatlast!’heannouncesonesultryafternooninElectric-aunt’sgarden.Hehasfollowedusthere.Myauntisbusyinsidefilingheraccountsinneatfiguresbeneaththecreditanddebitcolumns.WearesittingoutsidesoasnottodisturbherwhilewewaitforCousintoreturnfromschool.
‘Howdidhegetridofthem?Didhewinacase?’asksAyah.‘Didhegetthepolicetothrowthemout?’
‘Ifyouawaitcourtdecisions,youwaitforever,’saysIce-candy-manwithsuchcontemptandauthoritythatmyfaithinthejudicialsystemisforevershattered.
‘ItoldSherSinghtotakemattersinhand,’hecontinues.‘Itoldhim:Whygothroughalltherigmaroleofcourtsandnoticeswhenwehavetime-honouredremediesathand?’
AyahandIleancloser.Ayahispositivelywithinstrikingdistance.Ice-candy-man’stoetwitches,butitisaweary,footsorelittletwitchanditsimpulseeasilychecked.Imerelyglanceitswaysternlyandthetwitchceases.
‘AtfirstSherSinghhemmedandhedged,’saysIce-candy-man.‘Thenhesaid:“You’reaMussulman…ThetenantsareMussulmans…WhyshouldyouhelpaSikh?”’
Hisraconteur’sgiftplacesusinSherSingh’sshoesandwelookathimwiththesamequestionsinoureyes.
‘“Oye,youdonkey,”Itoldhim.“Sowhatifyou’reaSikh?I’mfirstafriendtomyfriends…Andanenemytotheirenemies…AndthenaMussulman!Godandthepoliticianshaveenoughservers.So,Iservemyfriends.”’
Nowhehasusinhisshoes.Ayahhasananimatedlookonherraptface.‘Tellus…whathappenedthen?’sheasksbreathlessly.
‘Lennychild,beagoodgirl,’saysIce-candy-man,snappinghisfingerstoflicktheashfromhiscigarette.‘Askthecooktomakemeastrongcupoftea.Go:putch-putch.’(Kissingnoisesusedtowheedlechildrendispatchedontrivialerrands.)
‘No,’Isay.‘I’mnotgoinganywhere:Ialsowanttolistentoyou.’
HeglancesatAyah.SinceAyahappearscontenttohavemestay,hesays:‘Well,SherSingh,hisbrothersPremandPratab,andoneortwocousins–allstrappingfellows…andI.Armedwithhockey-stickswewenttotheirtenants’housewhilethemenwereatwork.Wemadeabitofhulla-goollaoutsidethebuilding.Wavedourhockey-sticksandshouted:“Cometoyourwindows,prettyladies:don’thide.Wehavesomethingtoshowyou.”’
AyahandI,oureyesround,ourlipsparted,scarcelybreathe.
‘Weattractedacrowd.Therewerequiteafewdazzlingeyesatsomeoftheotherwindowsinthebuilding…Buttheladiesforwhosebenefitwewerestagingtheshowweremorebashful.
‘WhenIwassurewehadtheirattention–andtheywerepeepingatusthroughtheirreedblinds–asonemanweopenedourlungis!Insuchawayastoshieldourrears:andinfrontourdanglingdingdongs!’
TakingmycuefromAyah,Itoowearafaintlyscandalised,faintlyamusedexpression.
‘Weexposedourselvessothatonlytheycouldseeus.Thecrowdbehindusguessedwhatwashappening.Therewereoneortwocurses–oneortwocoarseremarks–butnointerference.Wemadeafewsuggestivegestures…youknow…Itlastedonlyfiveminutes…
‘Butwhatahulla-goolla!Thewomenscreamedandcursed…You’dhavethoughtwe’drapedthem!
‘Wegotwindthepolicewerecoming.Bythetimetheyappearedwe’dwrappedourlungisbackonandclearedout!’Ice-candy-man,halfstanding,moveshisbodyandhisarmslikeamagicianconjuringimages.
‘Ihearthemensworevengeanceandwhatnot.Butthismorningtheyclearedout!’
Thetriumphonhisfaceisinfectious:heseesitreflectedinours,andhisteethshowincreasinglywhiteashislipsstretchandstretchintoasmileinhisnarrowface.Hecrushesthestubofhiscigaretteintothegrass–andIheartheschoolbussqueaktoahaltasitdepositsmycousinoutsidethegate.
***
NexteveningwhenIce-candy-mancomestoourhouseInoticehistoeismorevigorous.Itisrested.Wedidn’twanderfartoday.OnlywenttoGodmother’s.
MasseurmassagesOldhusbandeveryThursday.Ayahwascontenttositonherhaunchesandwatchas,beforeourveryeyes,beneathhissupplefingers,Oldhusbandacquiredayouthfulglow!
Later,whenElectric-auntandCousinalsocametoGodmother’s,CousininformedmethatIce-candy-man’sbicyclewasparkedoutsideGodmother’sgate.InfactCousinhadpurchasedanddevouredaraspberrypopsicle.Heshowedmetheinsideofhisraspberry-stainedlowerlipanddrewmyattentiontoapaleredstainonhiskhakishorts.
Cousinislikethat.EvenwhenIbelievehim,heshowsme,showsme,showsmethings…
‘DidyouhearaboutBhagwandasthetailor?’Ice-candy-manasks,settlingdowncross-leggedonamatontheser-vants’verandaoutsideAyah’squarters.Ayahhasjustwashed
herlonghairand,havingbroughtitforwardoverhershoulder,isrunningacombativewoodencombthroughthewettangles.
‘Lennybaby,’Ice-candy-mantellsme,almostburyinghisheadinhiscuppedhandsashelightsoneofhissmellycigarettes,‘getmeaglassofwater.TellImamDinit’sformeandhewillputabitoficeinit.’
‘No,’Isay,leaningfirmlyonhistoe.‘I’mnotgoinganywhere.Ialsowanttoknowaboutthetailor.Tellme!’
‘Letherbe,’saysAyah,whoisascuriousasme.Bhagwandasishertailortoo.
‘Well,heranoffwiththeMissionpadre’swife!’Ice-candy-manpusheshispill-boxcapforwardrakishlyandlooksatAyahoutofthecornersofhisgleaminglightbrowneyes.
‘Hai!No!’saysAyah,lookingappropriatelygraveandscandalisedandforamomentpermittingthecombtoceaseitsstrugglewiththetangles.
‘Yes,’saysIce-candy-man,grinningintoouravidfaces.‘Youknowhowitiswhenyouwomenvisittailors…Thisisloose,thatistight.Alterthis,alterthat.Thetailor’sfingerstouchhere,smooththecloththere…’Ice-candy-man’shandstraystoAyah’sknees,andasheraisesittohershoulderhisfingersbrushherbosom.Ayah’seyesflashawarningandIce-candy-man’sserpentinearmfloatsaway.Heshiftshiseyesfromusandstaresingenuouslyintothefadingday.
‘Thepadre,poorfellow,stilldoesn’tknowwhathappened,’hesaysdreamily.‘He’samanofGod.Youknowhowtheyare.Simple.Butthetailorsareaslylot.Nevertrustthem,Lennybaby,withtheirmeasuringtapes,needlesandthreads–andsmoothingfingers.’
‘Where’syourwife?’Iask.I’veneverthoughttoaskhimbefore.
‘Inthevillage,withhermother.’
‘Whatifsherunsaway?’
‘Shewon’t.Theyhavenotailorsinthevillage.Nomasseurseither…withtheircunningfingerstakingliberties!’
Ayahlooksstartled.SodoI.ThisisthefirsttimehehasopenlyexpressedhisjealousyofMasseur.Althoughwehavebeenconsciousoftheundercurrentofhostilitybetweenthem,neitherAyahnorIrealiseditsdevelopmentintotheacrimonyIce-candy-man’sbittervoicehasjustexpressed.
Itchangesthecomplexionoftheevening.Ibecomeawareoftheduskthathasgatheredinshadowsonthedung-plasteredverandaandisthickbehindtheopendoorofAyah’squarters.Theearthfloor,compressedandsprinkledwithwaterandsweptclean,andhersmallstring-cot,largetintrunk,andpicturesandstatuesofgodsandgoddessesinthenichesareallobscured.
‘Whydon’tyoueverbringyourwifehere?Iwanttoseeher.Pleasebringherhere,’Iplead,frettinghim,tryingtotalkawaymymisgivings.
And,havingatthesametimetorestrainhisrefreshedtoes,Isitonthem.
‘What’llshedohere,Lennybaby?’saysIce-candy-man,onceagainfar-away-eyedandincontrol.‘She’susedtovillageways,andtoherfolkthere…Shedoesn’tliketostayinthecity…soIleaveherthere.’
‘Issheyouronlywife?’Iask.
ButAyahisrestiveandclampsmymouthshutwithherhand.‘Stopaskingsomanyquestions,’shesayswithunaccustomedirritability.‘Mendon’tlikesomuchtalkabouttheirwomenfolk.’
‘Oh,Idon’tmind.Letherbe,’saysIce-candy-man,pushinghiscapbacknowthattheimpressivebitofgossiphasbeenrelated.Hemussesmyhairand,openinghisthermos,reachesforapopsicle.
‘Raspberry!’Idemand,hopingthereisstillsomerasp-berryleft.
Thereis.RelinquishingmyseatonhistoesIstandup.
‘Oof!’saysAyahsuddenly,hercombcaughtpainfullyinhertangledhair.
Chapter15
TheperipheryofmyworldextendstoMozangandTempleRoad.EverySundayweaccompanytheShankarstotheDaulatrams’two-storeybrickhouseforaneveningofclassicalIndianmusic.ThesingersallmakefacesandstrangenoisesbutIsrarAhmedismyfavouritesingingboy.Wesitoncarpetsandthesingersonwhitesheetsfacingus.Theaccompanists–aharmoniumplayerandatabla-drumplayer–wiggletheirtoesandchewbetel-nut.
IsrarAhmed,anondescript,unassuming,middle-agedclerk,istransformedintoadervishwhenhetakeshisturnonthewhitesheet.Heflingshisarmsabout,openswidehismouth,displayspaan-stainedmolarsandmakesnoisesthatwouldturnthezooanimalsgreenwithenvy.Hegarglesupanddownthescale!Heroars!Hedislocateshisjawandhoistshismouthtooneside–andthentotheother.
Adi,CousinandIcannotcontainourselves.Inourfervourtoacquireclassicalculturewecopyhismovements,contortourfaces,twistournecksandareslappedandshushedforourpains.
***
Processionsarebecomingapartofthestreetscene.Ayouthholdsaloftastickwithagreenrag,bellowsaslogan,andagroupofrowdyurchinsrallytothecry.
AdiandIslippasttheattentionofourvigilantsandjointhetinytinpotprocessionsthatarespawnedonWarrisRoad.Weshoutourselveshoarsecrying,‘JaiHind!JaiHind!’or‘PakistanZindabad!’dependingonthewhimortheallegianceoftheprincipalcrier.Withinhalfanhourtheprocessionsdisintegrate.Theraggedflagholders,theirtrousersgreywithwashing,theirsingletspepperedwithholesandgreasespots,makeafewdesultoryattemptstorallythestragglers.Then,loweringthebanner,whichrevertstobecomingalowlyragonatwig,therabble-rouserusuallyclimbsamulberrytreeforitsfruitandwesneakbackunnoticed.
***
WearegraduallywithdrawingfromtheshadowcastbytheQueen’sstatueinthepark.AstheBritishpreparetoleavewemeetlessandlessattheparkandmoreoftenatthewrestler’srestaurant.
AdiandIclimbthericketywoodenstepsbehindAyahandpickourwaybetweentheemptytablestoourcrowd.Itisstillabitearlyfortheregulardiners.Ourfriendsaresittingattheback,oneithersideoftwonarrowtablesjoinedtogether.Theyarearguing.Everybodyappearstobequarrellingthesedays.
ThewrestlershoutstoChotay,askinnytwelve-year-oldinaskimpylungi,toplacewoodenstoolsateitherendofthetables.AdiandIsitonthestools,attheheadandtailofthetable,andAyahsitsdownnexttoMasseuronthebenchoppositethebutcher.
Chotayhangsaround,waitingforourorder,andAyah,withprincesslyauthorityandindulgence,ordersthreeplatesofvegetablebiryani.‘Seethatit’shot,’shesays,adoptingMother’stonewithservants,‘orI’llseetoyou!’
LikeallurchinsapprenticedtosuchestablishmentsChotayisbullied,teasedandslappedaround.
Continuingtheconversation–andthefeeding–ourarrivalhasinterrupted,Masseursays:‘IfthePunjabisdivided,LahoreisboundtogotoPakistan.ThereisaMuslimmajorityhere…’
‘LahorewillstayinIndia!’saystheGovernmentHousegardener,cuttinghimshort.Heissittingnexttothebutcher.‘ThereistoomuchHindumoneyhere,’hesaysinhisquiet,seasonedway.‘Theyownmostofthepropertyandbusinessinthecityand…’
‘ButtherearetoomanyMussulmans!’insistsMasseur.
‘Sowhat?Peopledon’tmatter…Moneydoes!’
Welookhisway,startledbytheunexpectedcynicism,ashetucksagobofriceintohismouth.
‘Itwon’tbehardtoputthefearofGoduptherichHindus’dhoties–moneyornomoney,’saysthebutcherinacoarse,harshvoice.
‘Itjustmightbetheotherwayround,’murmursthegardener.
Inthetensesilencethatfollowsthisexchange,onlyAdiandIlookatthem.Therestaverttheireyesandappeartobepreoccupiedwiththeirfood.
Chotayappearswithourplates,holdingallthreeinonehand,andplacesthembeforeuswithanoisyclatter.
Thebutcherrapshisplateonthetabletoindicatehewantsanotherhelping.Theboypicksuptheemptyplateandthebutcher,turningsharply,slapshisshavenhead.Itisatemptingtarget.
‘Oye!Yougonestupid?’saysthebutcherbelligerently.‘D’youknowwhatIwant?’
‘Thesame?’Chotaysays,wincing.Hisbared,narrowchestmakeshimlookfrighteninglyvulnerable.
Thebutcherspankshisheadagain.‘DidIaskforthesame?’
Chotaystaresathimfoolishly.
‘Bringmechops!’saysButcherasifhe’sjusttaughtChotayaninvaluablelesson.
‘Youheardhim,oye!’saysthewrestler,alsolightlyspankingtheboy’shead.‘What’reyoustaringatourfacesfor?Hurry,orI’llbreakyourbottom!’Heexchangesaconcurringglancewiththebutcher,showinghisappreciationofthepainshisfriendhastakentosmartenuptheboy.
Chotay,duckingoutofrangeoftheirhands,scampersaway,dutifullysaying,‘Berightback,janab!’
‘Whatd’youmean,putthefearofGoduptherichHindus’dhoties?’saysIce-candy-man,turninghissus-piciouslyinnocent,olive-oileyesonthebutcher.
‘YouknowwhatImean,yaar,’saysthebutcherimpassively.
Iclosemyeyes.Ican’tbeartoopenthem:theywillopenonasuddenlychangedworld.Itrytoshutoutthevoices.
AllatoncetheSikhzooattendantshouts,‘Andwhataboutus?’soloudlythatmyeyespopopen.‘TheSikhsholdmorefarmlandinthePunjabthantheHindusandMuslimsputtogether!’
‘Theydon’t!’saysthebutcherflatly.
‘Areyoucallingmealiar?’SherSingh’svoicecrackswithexcitementandhisagitatedfingersdispersebitsofriceinhisbeard.
‘Theonlywaytokeepyourholdings,Sardarjee,istoarriveatasettlementwiththeMuslimLeague,’intervenesMasseur,smoothingthequarrelwithhisvoice.HeduststhericefromSherSingh’sbeard.‘Ifyoudon’t,thePunjabwillbedivided…Thatwillmeantroubleforusall.’
‘Bigtrouble,’concursSherSinghportentously:asifhehassecretknowledgehecoulddisclose.
‘You’rewhat?Onlyfourmillionorso?’asksMasseur.‘AndifhalfofyouareinPakistan,andtheotherhalfinIndia,youwon’thavemuchcloutineitherplace.’
‘Youdon’tworryaboutourclout!’saysSherSinghoffensively.‘Wecanlookoutforourselves…You’llfeelourcloutallrightwhenthetimecomes!’
‘TheBritishhaveadvisedJinnahtokeepclearofyoubastards!’saysthebutcherjustasoffensively.‘TheAngrezcallyoua“bloodynuisance”!’
‘Wedon’twanttohaveanythingtodowithyoubastardseither,’roarsthepunySikh,soundingmoreandmorelikethetigerinhisname.
‘Historywillrepeatitself,’saystherestaurant-owningwrestlerphlegmatically.Heslowlylowershisarm,andstretchesitacrossthetable.‘OncethelineofdivisionisdrawninthePunjab,allMuslimstotheeastofitwillhavetheirballscutoff!’
Hisquietlyspokenwordshavetheimpactofanexplosion.And,asintheaftermathofablast,thesilenceexcludesallextraneoussound…Theshrillvoicesofthechildreninthegully,thenoiseoftrafficfromtheChungi.OnlyIce-candy-man’svoiceasiffromadistance,saying:‘Oye!Yougonecrazy?youson-of-an-owl!’
Andthewrestler,quietlysaying,‘Mycousin’saconstableinAmritsarDistrict…hesaystheSikhsarepreparingtodrivetheMuslimsoutofEastPunjab–totheothersideoftheRavi.’
‘ButthoseareMuslimmajoritydistricts,’saysMasseur.
‘TheSikhsarethefightingarmoftheHindusandthey’repreparedtouseit…likewhentheybutcheredeverysingleMussulmanfromAmbalatoAmritsaracenturyago,duringtheMogulempire’sbreakup.’
‘Behold!ThesavagearmofthemurderousSikh!’saysMasseur,holdingaloftanddanglingSherSingh’spunyarm;hisfingertipsshoweringcurriedrice.MasseurplaceshisarmaroundtheSikhandhugshimaffectionately.
‘It’sfitonlyforbanglesnow!’saysthebutchercontemptuously.Hetossesthegnawedskeletonofalambchopoverhisshoulder.‘TheSikhshavebecomesoftlivingoffthefatoftheland!’
‘Don’tfoolyourself…Theyhaveatraditionofviolence,’saysthewrestler.‘Haven’tyouseentheportraitsofthegurusholdingthedrippingheadsofbutcheredenemies?’
‘Shutup,yaar,’saysMasseur,hisfaceunusuallydarkwitharushofblood.‘It’sallbuckwas!TheholyKoranliesnexttotheGranthSahibintheGoldenTemple.TheshiftGuruNanaikworecarriedinscriptionsfromtheKoran…Infact,theSikhfaithcameabouttocreateHindu-Muslimharmony!’Helooksaroundthetabletoseehowwearetakinghisimpassionedpleaforreason.‘Inanycase,’hecontinuesmoremildly,‘therearenodifferencesamongfriends…Wewillstandbyeachother.’
‘Ofcourse,yaar,’agreestheoff-dutysepoy.(Ican’ttellwhatfaithhebelongsto.)‘Whoarewetoquarrel?Letthebigshotsfightitout!’
‘You’reright,brother,’saystheGovernmentHousegardener.‘Thepoliticianswillsayanythingintimeslikethesetosuittheirpurpose…ButtheEnglishSarkarwon’tletanythinglikethathappen…YousawhowtheyclampeddownontheIndependencemovement.’
Thereisaninstanthumofagreementanddisagreement.
‘TheEnglisharenottobereliedon,yaar,’interposesIce-candy-man,pushinghisemptyplateawaytoshowhe’sdonewitheating.‘They’retoobusypackingoffwiththeirloottocarewhathappens…ButthatNehru,he’saslyone…He’sgotMountbatteneatingoutofhisonehandandtheEnglish’swifeoutofhisotherwhat-not…He’stheonetowatch!’
Heshouldknow.He’sworkingintheGovernmentHouseasachaprassithesedays.Andgivenhisinquisitivenatureandwilyways–
‘Don’tunderestimateJinnah,’saystheoff-dutysepoy.‘Hewillstickwithinhisrights,nomatterwhomNehrufeeds!He’safirst-ratelawyerandheknowshowtoattacktheBritishwiththeirownlaws!’
‘JinnahornoJinnah!SikhornoSikh!Rightlaw,wronglaw,Nehruwillwalkoffwiththelion’sshare…Andwhat’smore,comeoutofitsmellingliketheQueen-of-the-Kotha!’Ice-candy-manspeakswithanassurancethatisprophetic.
Theygoonandon.Idon’twanttohearthem.IslipintoAyah’slapand,closingmyeyes,hidemyfacebetweenherbreasts.Itrynottoinhale,butImust;thechargedairaboutourtabledistilspoisonousinsights.Blueenvy:greenavidity:thegreyandblackstirringsofpredatorsandtheincipientdistillationoffearintheirprey.Aslimygrey-greenballoonformsbehindmyshutlids.ThereissomethingsodangerousaboutthetangiblecoloursthepassionsaroundmehaveassumedthatIblinkopenmyeyesandsitup.
Someinstinctmakesmecountus.Wearethirteen.
Iamnottooyoungtoknowitisanuneasynumber.Icountusagain,usingmyfingerslikeMotherdoes.ThereisIce-candy-man,Masseur,GovernmentHouseGardener,Butcher,SherSingh,thesepoyfromthebarracks,thewrestler,YousafandHariwho’vebeenlisteningquietly,theFalletisHotelcook,me,AdiandAyah.
***
‘Whyisthirteenanunluckynumber?’IaskMother.
‘Whotoldyouit’sunlucky?Therearenounluckynumbers,dear–onlyluckynumbers.’
IaskGodmother.
‘Peoplesayit’sunlucky–Idon’tknow.AskMini:sheshouldknow.’
‘It’sunlucky,’saysMiniAunty,promptlyanddefinitelyandnoddingherhead.‘Iknow.IwasbornonthethirteenthofMarch.’
IaskCousin.
‘SomethingtodowithJesusChrist…Hehadafarewellparty,youknow.Somethingtodowiththat.’
IaskMrsPen.ShetellsmethatthefarewellpartywascalledtheLastSupper.ShetellsmeaboutChrist,thetwelveapostlesandaboutJudas’sbetrayalandChrist’scrucifixion.
Fromthedistance,drawingstridentlynearer,clamoursthe‘tee-too,tee-too’ofthedreadsiren.Thesoundshrivelstime–thewayHari’sgenitalsshrivelled.Iambackinthefactoryfilledwithchildrenlyingontheirbacksonbeds.Godmothersitsbyme,lookingcomposed,ascompetentsoldiersmoveabouthammeringnailsintoourhandsandfeet.Theroomfillswiththehopelessmoansofcrucifiedchildren–andwiththeircollectivesighsastheybreatheinandout,inandout,withaneeriehorrifyinginsistence.
Iawakentoadistant,pulsatingsound.Thechantofsloganscarriedtomeongustsofwind.
Chapter16
Weleaveearly.MasterTaraSinghisexpectedtomakeanappearanceoutsidetheAssemblyChambers,behindtheQueen’sGarden.ExceptforMucchoandherchildren,whoremainbehindintheservants’quarters,ourhouseisdeserted.MotherandFatherleftbeforeuswiththeSinghsandthePhailbuses.
ThereisnoroomforusintheQueen’sGarden.SeenfromtheroofoftheFalettisHotel–theFalettisHotelcookhassecuredaplaceforus–itappearsthattheparkhassproutedadensecropofhumans.Theyoverflowitsboundariesontotheroadsandsitontreesandontopofwalls.ThecrowdisthickestonthecencretebetweenthebackofthegardenandtheAssemblyChambers.Policemenareholdingthethrongfromsurgingupthewide,imperiousflightofpinksteps.
Thereisastirofexcitement,anincreaseinthevolumeofnoise,andMasterTaraSingh,inawhitekurta,hissilkenbeardflowingcreamilydownhisface,appearsonthetopstepsoftheAssemblyChambers.Iseehimclearly.Hischestisdiagonallyswathedinabluebandfromwhichdanglesadecorativelysheathedkirpan.Thefoldsofhisloosewhitepyjamasfallabovehisankles;aleatherbandroundhiswaistholdsalongreligiousdagger.
Hegetsdowntobusinessrightaway.Holdingalongswordineachhand,thecurvedsteelreflectingthesun’sglareasheclashestheswordsabovehishead,theSikhsoldier-saintshouts:‘WewillseehowtheMuslimswinegetPakistan!Wewillfighttothelastman!WewillshowthemwhowillleaveLahore!RajkaregaKhalsa,akirahinakoi!’
TheSikhsmillingaboutinahugeblobinfrontwildlywaveandclashtheirswords,kirpansandhockey-sticks,andpunctuatehisshriekswithroars:‘PakistanMurdabad!DeathtoPakistan!SatSiriAkaal!Bolaysenihaal!’
AndtheMuslimsshouting:‘So?We’llplayHoli-with-their-blood!Ho-o-o-liwiththeirblo-o-o-d!’
AndtheHolifestivaloftheHindusandSikhscomingupinafewdays,wheneverybodysplatterseverybodywithcolouredwaterandcolouredpowdersandlaughsandromps…
Andinsteadtheskylineoftheoldwalledcityablaze,andpeoplesplatteringeachotherwithblood!AndIce-candy-manhustlingAyahandmeupthestepsofhistenementin
BhattiGate,saying:‘WaittillyouseeShalmiburn!’Andpointingoutlandmarksfromthecrowdedtenementroof:
‘That’sDelhiGate…There’sLahoriGate…There’sMochiDarwaza…’
‘Isn’tthatwhereMasseurlives?’Ayahasks.
‘Yes,that’swhereyourmasseurstays,’saysIce-candy-man,unabletomaskhisire.‘It’saMuslimmohalla,’hecontinuesinanefforttodispelhisrancour.‘We’vegotwindthattheHindusofShalmiplantoattackit–pushtheMuslimsacrosstheriver.TheHindusandSikhsthinkthey’lltakeLahore.Butwe’llsurprisethemyet!’
‘HaiRam!That’sGowalmandiisn’tit?’saysAyah.‘HaiRam…Howitburns!’
Andoureyeswideandsombre.
SuddenlyaposseofsweatingEnglishtommies,wearingonlykhakishorts,socksandboots,runsupinthelanedirectlybelowus.AndontheirheelsamobofSikhs,theirwildlonghairandbeardsrampant,largefeveredeyesglowinginfanaticfaces,poursintothenarrowlaneroaringslogans,holdingcurvedswords,shovingupamanicwaveofviolencethatsetsAyahtotremblingassheholdsmetight.Anakedchild,twitchingonaspearstruckbetweenhershoulders,iswavedlikeaflag:herscreamlessmouthagapesheisstaringstraightupatme.Acrimsonfuryblindsme.Iwanttodiveintothebestialcreatureclawingentrails,pluckingeyes,tearinglimbs,gouginghearts,smashingbrains:butthecreaturehastoomanystonyhearts,toomanysightlesseyes,deafears,mindlessbrainsandtonsofentwinedentrails…
AndthenaslowlyadvancingmobofMuslimgoondas:packedsotightthatwecanseeonlythetopoftheirheads.Roaring:‘Allah-o-Akbar!YaaaaAli’and‘PakistanZindabad!’
Theterrorthemobgeneratesispalpable–likeanevil,paralysingspell.Theterribleprocession,likeasluggishriver,flowsbeneathus.Everyshortwhileagroupofmen,likeawhirlingeddy,stalls–andlikethewideningcirclesofatreacherouseddydissolvinginthemainstream,leavesinitscentrethepulpyredflotsamofamangledbody.
Theprocessionistsaremillingabouttwojeepspushedbacktoback.Theycometoahalt:themeninfrontoftheprocessionpullingaheadandthemobbehindbankedcloseup.Thereisaquickeningintheactivityaboutthejeeps.MyeyesfocusonanemaciatedBanyawearingawhiteGandhicap.Themanisknockeddown.Hislipsaredrawnawayfromrotting,paan-stainedteethinascream.ThemenmovebackandinthesmallclearingIseehislegsstickingoutofhisdhotirightuptothegroin–eachthin,brownlegtiedtoajeep.Ayah,holdingherhandsovermyeyes,collapsesonthefloorpullingmedownwithher.Thereistheroarofahundredthroats:‘Allah-o-Akbar!’andbeneathitthegrowlofrevvingmotors.Ice-candy-manstoopsoverus,lookingconcerned:themusclesinhisfacetightwithastrangeexhilarationIneveragainwanttosee.
RamzanathebutcherandMasseurjoinus.Ayahsitssheathingherheadandformwithhersari;coweringandlumpishagainstthewall.
‘Youshouldn’thavebroughtthemhere,yaar,’saysMasseur.‘Theyshouldn’tseesuchthings…Besides,it’sdangerous.’
‘Wearewithher.She’ssafe,’saysIce-candy-manlaconi-cally.Headds:‘Ionlywantedhertoseethefires.’
‘Iwanttogohome,’Iwhimper.
‘AssoonasthingsquietdownI’lltakeyouhome,’saysMasseurreassuringly.HepicksmeupandswingsmeuntilIsmile.
Ice-candy-manoffersmeanotherpopsicle.I’veeatensomanyalreadythatIfeelsick.Hegatherstheemptytinplatesstrewnaboutus.TheuneatenchapattionAyah’splateisstiff:thevegetablecurrycold.Ice-candy-manremovestheplate.
‘Look!’shoutsthebutcher.‘Shalmi’sstartedtoburn!’
Werushtotheparapet.Tonguesofpinkflamelicktwoorthreebrickbuildingsinthebazaar.Theflamesarehardtospot:nomatchforthemassivegrowthofbrickandcementspreadingoneithersideofthestreet.
‘Justwatch.You’llseeatamasha!’saysIce-candy-man.‘Waittillthefiregetstotheirstockofarsenal.’
Asifoncueadeafeningseriesofexplosionsshakesthefloorbeneathourfeet.Ayahstandsuphastilyandjoinsusattheparapet.Thewallsandbalconiesofatwo-storeybuildinginthecentreofthebazaarbulgeandbulge.Thenthebricksstartslowlytumbling,andthedarkslabofroofcavesintotheexplodingfurnace…
PeoplearepouringintotheShalmilanesfromtheirhousesandshops.Weheartheincrediblypromptclam-ourofafirebrigade.Theclankingfireengine,crowdedwithladders,hoseandhelmetedmen,manoeuvresitselfthroughthestreet,thetruckwiththewatertankfollowing.
Themenexchangesurprisedlooks.Ice-candy-mansays:‘Wheredidthosemother-fuckersspringfrom?’
Thefiremenscamperbusily,attachinghoses,shovingpeopleback.Ridingonthetruckstheyexpertlydirecttheirpowerfulhosesattherestofthebuildingsoneithersideoftheroad.
Asthefirebrigadedrivesaway,theentirerowsofbuildingsonbothsidesofthestreetigniteinanincredibleconflagration.Althoughweareseveralfurlongsawayascorchingblastfromahotwindmakesourclothesflapasifinastorm.IlookatIce-candy-man.Theastonishmentonhisfeaturesisreplacedbyahugegrin.Hisface,reflectingthefire,islit
up.‘Thefuckingbastards!’hesays,laughingaloud,spitflyingfromhismouth.‘Thefuckingbastards!Theysprayedthebuildingswithpetrol!TheymustbeMuslim.’
TheHindusofShalmimusthavepiledalotofdynamiteintheirhousesandshopstodrivetheMuslimsfromMochiGate.TheentireShalmi,anareacoveringaboutfoursquaremiles,flashesinexplosions.Themenandwomenonourroofareslappingeachother’shands,laughing,huggingoneanother.
Istareatthetamasha,mesmerisedbythespectacle.Itislikeagiganticfireworksdisplayinwhichstifffigureslookinglikespread-eagledstick-dollsleapintotheair,blackagainstthemagentafurnace.TrappedbythespreadingflamesthepanickedHindusrushindrovesfromoneendofthestreettotheother.Manydisappeardownthesmokinglanes.Somecollapseinthestreet.Charredlimbsandburntlogsarefallingfromthesky.
Thewholeworldisburning.TheaironmyfaceissohotIthinkmyfleshandclotheswillcatchfire.Istartscreaming:hystericallysobbing.Ayahmovesaway,herfeetsuddenlyheavyanddragging,andsitsontheroofslumpedagainstthewall.Sheburiesherfaceinherknees.
‘Whatsmallheartsyouhave,’saysIce-candy-man,beamingaffectionatelyatus.‘Youmustmakeyourheartsstout!’Hestrikeshisout-thrustchestwithhisfist.Turningtothemen,hesays:‘Thefuckingbastards!Theythoughtthey’ddriveusoutofBhatti!We’veshownthem!’
Itisnotsafetoleaveuntillatethatevening.AsthebutcherdrivesushomeinhiscartthemoonlightsettleslikealayerofashesoverLahore.
***
InarushIcollectthedollslongabandonedinbottomdrawersandtoychestandclimbstoolstoretrievethemfromthedustytopsofoldcupboards.Ilinethemupagainstthewall,onmybed,andAdi,intriguedbymysuddeninterestindolls,standsbyquietlywatching.
Ican’trememberatimewhenIeverplayedwithdolls:thoughrelativesandacquaintanceshavepersistedingivingthemtome.China,clothandcelluloiddollsvariouslystuffed,sized,andcoloured.Blackgolliwogs,Britishbabydollswithpinkcomplexions,Indianadultdollscoveredinwhitecloth,theirfacespaintedon.
Ipickoutabig,bloatedcelluloiddoll.Iturnitupsidedownandpullitslegsapart.Theelasticthatholdsthemtogetherstretcheseasily.Iletoneleggoanditsnapsback,attachingitselftothebrittletorso.
Adimovescloser.‘What’reyoutryingtodo?’heenquires.
Iexaminethesari-anddhoti-cladIndiandolls.Theyareunreal,theirexaggeratedfacestooobviouslypainted,theirbodiestoofragile.Iselectalargelife-likedollwithachina
faceandblinkingblueeyesandcoarseblackcurls.Ithasasturdy,well-stuffedclothbodyandasubstantialfeel.
Iholditupsidedownandpullitspinklegsapart.Thekneesandthighsbendunnaturally,butthestitchinginthecentrestaysintact.
IholdonelegouttoAdi.‘Here,’Isay,‘pullit.’
‘Why?’asksAdilookingconfused.
‘Pull,damnit!’Iscream,soclosetohysteriathatAdiblanchesandhastilygrabstheprofferedleg.(HeisoneofthefewpeopleIknowwhoisfairenoughtoblanch–orblushnoticeably.)AdiandIpullthedoll’slegs,stretchingitinafiercetug-of-war,untilmakingawrenchingsounditsuddenlysplits.Westaggeroffbalance.Theclothskinisrippedrightuptoitsarmpitsspillingchunksofgreyishcottonandcoiledbrowncoirandtheinnardsthatmakeitseyesblinkandmakeitsquawk‘Ma-ma’.Iexaminethedoll’sspilledinsidesand,holdingtheminmyhands,collapseonthebedsobbing.
Adicrouchesclosetome.Ican’tbearthedisillusionedandcontemptuouslookinhiseyes.
‘Whywereyousocruelifyoucouldn’tstandit?’heasksatlast,infuriatedbythepointlessbrutality.
***
HowlongdoesLahoreburn?Weeks?Months?
WeclimbtotheroofoftheDaulatrams’two-storeyhousetowatch.TheDaulatramsflee.
TheShankars,too,go.Thebackportionofourhouseisuntenanted.TheShankars’abandonedbelongingsarestoredbyMotherinemptyservants’quarters.Gita,withhershortfatplaitandsatinbows,andhersteamy,bellowingmate,havedisappeared.
StillwegototheDaulatrams’abandonedhousetoseeMozangChawkburn.HowlongdoesMozangChawkburn…?
MozangChawkburnsformonths…
andmonths…Despiteitsbrickandmortarconstruction:despiteitssteelgirdersandthedensityofitsterracesthatruninanunevenhigh-low,broad-narrowcontinuityformilesoneitherside:despitethesmallbathroomsandgodownsandcorrugatedtinsheltersforcharpoysdeployedtosleepontheroof–anditsdoorsandwoodenrafters–thebuildingscouldnothaveburnedformonths.Despitetheresidueofpassionandregret,andlossofthosewhohaveinpanicfled–thefirecouldnothaveburnedfor…Despitealltheruptureddreams,brokenlives,buriedgold,bricked-inrupees,secretedjewellery,lingeringhopes…thefirecouldnothaveburnedformonthsandmonths…
Butinmymemoryitisbrandedoveraninordinatelengthoftime:memorydemandspoeticlicence.
AndthehellishfiresofLahorespawnmonstrousmobs.ThesenomoreresemblethelittleprocessionsofchantingurchinsthatWarrisRoadspawned–andthatAdiandIshoutedourselveshoarsein–thanthefiresthatfusesteelgirderstomortarresemblethefiresthatImamDinfansaliveinourkitchengrateseverymorning.
Chapter17
PlayingBritishgodsundertheceilingfansoftheFalettisHotel–behindQueenVictoria’sgardenedskirt–theRadcliffCommissiondealsoutIndiancitieslikeapackofcards.LahoreisdealttoPakistan,AmritsartoIndia.SialkottoPakistan.PathankottoIndia.
IamPakistani.Inasnap.Justlikethat.
Anewnationisborn.Indiahasbeendividedafterall.Didtneydigthelong,longcanalAyahmentioned?Althoughitismybirthdaynoonehastimeforme.MyquestionsremainedunansweredevenbyAyah.
Mothermakesadisappointinglittlefussovermethatlastsforaboutthreeminutes.ShewishesmehappybirthdayandkissesmeandinstructsImamDintomakesweetvermicelliwithfriedcurrantsandalmondsandhandsAyahacupofmilkafloatwithrosepetalstopourovermyheadbeforemybath.
Fatherhugsme,askshowoldIam.ItellhimI’meight.(Yes,timehasflownforward.Itwillflybackyet.)
‘Good,good,’saysFatherabsent-mindedly.Hedoesn’tevensay,‘You’reabiggirlnow,’ashedidlastyear.Ihangaroundhimfeelingbored,whilehesitsonthecommodeabsorbedinnewsprint.
Igotothekitchenandannouncemybirthday.‘Sowhat?’saysAdi,resuminghisunseemlyclamourforthesugarbowl.ImamDinandYousafsay:‘Hownice.Hownice.Greetings,Lennybaby.’Buttheyarepreoccupied.Ayahhaulsmeoffforabath.Ihavetoremindhertodousemewiththemilk-and-rose-petals.
It’sthesameatGodmother’s.Igethuggedandkissed,butinsufficiently.Godmotherisbusyinthekitchen.Shemovestoandfro,lookinglikeanupendedwhaleinherwhitesariwithherslopingshouldersandbroadeningtorsoandthesarinarrowingroundherankles.Shehasthesamenoblebearingandalert,accommodatingairofthatintelligentmammal.Asshemovestoandfro,GodmotherdirectsanonstopstreamofinstructionandcriticismatSlavesister.Justso’stokeepheronhertoesandinfairworkingorder.Besides,Godmotherisinahurry.Lefttoherownassessmentofprioritiesandspeed,Slavesistercanbogdowntoastop.
‘Haveyousoakedthericeyet?’Godmotherenquires.‘Afteryou’vesoakeditIwantyoutokneadthechapattidough.AndItoldyoutotightenthecotstringsyesterday…Did
you?Wellthen,youmayhavethepleasureofsleepingonittonight!GiveyourstoManek!Willyouhurryup?Halftheday’sgone,’saysGodmother,brisklyputtingSlavesisterthroughherpaces.‘Ifyoudon’tpickupyourfeetyou’llcutoffmynose!Manekwillbeatourdooranyminute!Ihatetothinkwhathe’lltellPilooaboutthedisorderinthishouse…AndIhaven’tevenstartedpreparingthehalvaforhim.’
DrManekModyismarriedtotheirmiddlesister,Piloo.Despitetheloud-speakerinhisthroat,heiseasy-goingandgenialandhardlythetypetotattletohiswifeaboutadisorderlyhouse.
Iamhurt.Ithoughtthepreparationsforthesweetatleastwereonmyaccount.Isayso.‘Aren’tyoumakingthehalvaformybirthday?’
‘Ofcourse,’saysGodmotherpre-emptorily.‘It’sforyou.Whoelse?’
‘Ofcourse,’saysSlavesister.Evertheopportunist,sheadds,‘Butwemustn’tbeselfish,mustwe?It’sforyou,andtosweetenManekUncle’smouthinwelcomeand,don’tforget,wehavetocelebratethenewarrivalyet!’
GodmotherandIlookatherblankly.‘SomebodyhasababyIdon’tknowof?’asksGodmothersuspiciously.
‘Haveyouforgottenalready?’saysSlavesisterwithreproof.‘We’veallproducedababy…We’vegivenbirthtoanewnation.Pakistan!’
‘Youaresilly,’saysGodmothercrossly.Butwithoutthedevastatingartilleryfiresuchanabsurdwayofputtingthingsmightbeexpectedtoprovoke.
GodmotherisaheadtallerthanSlavesister.Standingontiptoeshereachesforthesemolina.‘Whereistherose-water?’sheasks,peeringintothetopshelf.‘Andwhereisthesugar?Can’tanythingeverbeinplace?’
‘Everythingisinplace…Ifyou’donlybothertolook,Rodabai.’
‘Isthatso?Thesugarandtherose-waterjumpedlastnight?And,now,where’sthetea?Where’sthetea?’
‘Underyournose.Rightunderyournose.Ifyou’donlylookproperly!’saystheworm,turning!
Godmotherlocatestheboxoftealiterallyunderhernose.Shedoesn’tsayanything.Ican’tbelieveit.
Iamsoastonishedmyjawhangsopen(eversince,I’vehadtroublewithmymandibular).Hung-jawedIgotoOldhusband,andstandingbeforehiminadaze,say,‘It’smybirthday.’
Oldhusbandemergesfromhishabituallysour-facedstuporandkissesmyforehead.LikeasomnambulistIreceivefromhimasmallpacketwrappedintissuepaper.
Iopenthepacket.Itisanautographbookwithcolouredpages,anditfallsopenonayellowpagewithwritingonit.IlookatOldhusband.Hetakesthebookfrommyhandandreadsaloudinresoundingtones:
‘TomydearLenny,
“Thelivesofgreatmenallremindus
Howtomakeourlivessublime;
Anddepartingleavebehindus
Footstepsonthesandsoftime!”’
Hemusthavebeenquitesomethingwhenyoung!Iamunutterablyimpressed!I’veneverseenhimsoanimated.
‘Willyouleaveyourfootstepsonthesandsoftime?’heasks.
Iimagineaseriesoffootsteps,obscuredbylitter,onthegreysandbythemuddyRavi.Ayah’s,Masseur’sandmine.Inodgravely,awedandovercomebythethunderofthewords.
TheonlyonewhoproperlycountenancesmybirthdayisCousin.
WhenAyahtakesmeandAdiacrosstheroadfromGodmother’stoElectric-aunt’shecomesgallopingtothegateshouting,‘Happybirthday!Happybirthday!’Andthen,veryseriously,likeinfilms,hecautiouslyholdsmebymyshouldersandpuckershismouth.Ireadtheintentinhiseyesand,beingtheatricallyinclinedmyself,Iclosemyeyesandreadilybunchmylips.IfeelCousin’swet,puckeredmouthonmybunched-uplips.IknowI’msupposedtofeelathrill,so,Imusterupalittlethrill.
ThethrillcomesandgoesbutCousin’smouthremainsinexactlythesameposition,exertingexactlythesamepressureasatthemomentofimpact.Themusclesofmymouthbegintoache.Iopenmyeyes:anddiscoverCousin’sbewilderedeyesgazingdirectlyintomine.Hedoesn’tknowifheisdoingitright.Orwhentostop.Thekissingscenesinthefilmsgoonmuchlonger.ButIcantellatthatalarmingproximitythatthemusclesinCousin’sjawsaretrembling.Myneck,too,isbeginningtoacheatthatawkwardangle.Kissing,I’mconvinced,isoverrated.TrustCousintoenlightenme.Whenourmutualagonybecomesunbearable,AyahsuddenlyslapsCousinhardonhisback,therebyungluingourstalemate,andscolds:‘Oye!Whatisthisbadmashi?Shameonyou!’
Cousintottersoffbalanceandlookssheepish.AndbecomesdefensivewhenAyahcasuallyspankshimagain.IthinksheisrepayingmeformindingIce-candy-man’stoes.
Electric-auntappearsonherverandaandholdinghandswegallopuptoher,trailedunenthusiasticallybyAdiandgood-naturedlybyAyah.
‘What?Noparty?’saysElectric-aunt,raisingherscantyeyebrowsandrubbingitin.Shebaresawhiterowoftinyteeth,asneatlypackedandevenasagoat’s,inabrightsmile.
Cousinlooksatmepityingly:‘We’llhaveonerighthere!’hevolunteersgallantly.
WhileAyahmakeshard-boiled-eggsandwichesCousintearsElectric-aunt’scookawayfromtheradio.Theytakeoffontheircyclestobuyacakeandpotatochips.Electric-aunt,compensatingforherlackofcharmwithanabundanceofenergyandthrift,brisklyopensalockedcupboardinherstoreandremovespapernapkins,plates,partyhatsandstreamersthathavealreadyservedCousin’sbirthdaysontwooccasions.Shecountsouteightlittlecandlesfromaneconomy-sizedboxoffifty.
Cousinreturnswithbrownpaperbagsandadentedcardboardcakebox.Iblowoutthecandlesandcutthesquashedcake.AndthenwesitaroundtheradiolisteningtothecelebrationsofthenewNation.Jinnah’svoice,inauguratingtheConstituentAssemblysessionson11August,says:‘Youarefree.Youarefreetogotoyourtemples.YouarefreetogotoyourmosquesoranyotherplaceofworshipintheStateofPakistan.Youmaybelongtoanyreligionorcasteorcreed,thathasnothingtodowiththebusinessofState…etc.,etc.,etc.PakistanZindabad!’
Chapter18
MrSingh,longhairknottedontopofhishead,onlonghairylegs,inhisyellowpyjama-shortsandwearinghiskirpan-dagger,carryingahockey-stickandtrailedbyhismodestAmericanwifeandtwosweatyandsubduedchildren,comesupourdrivejustasthehugeredsunrestsonthetopofthehouseoppositeours.
Thefamilysettlesinwickerchairsontheverandabeneaththeslowlysqueakingceilingfan.Mother,heryoungfacegraveandcomposedbehindhertintedglasses,greetsthemwithastylishhandshake–whichMrSinghstandsuptoreceive.Mother’stouchignitesmen.MrSingh’sbeardglowsandhisforeheadturnsincandescent.
MrSinghisobviouslyuncomfortableperchedonthedaintywickerchair.Hewouldprefertositcross-leggedbutmanagestokeepbothdusty,slipperedfeetfirmlyonthefloor.IsignaltoRosy-Petertocomeinsidebuttheyshaketheirheadsandsitlistlesslyontheirchairs.
‘TheMehtashavegone!TheMalothrashavegone!TheGuptashavegone!’saysMrSingh,comingstraightoutwithwhatisuppermostinhismind.Heisnotamanforpreliminaryniceties.
‘TheGuptastoo?When?’asksMother,hervoicethrobbingwithconcern.
‘Abouttwohoursback.Theyarejoininganescortedconvoyofcars.’
Mother’seyesgrowmoist.MrsSinghdiscreetlywipesthetearsthathaverolledintotherecentlyacquiredindigosmudgesbeneathhereyes.Rosygetsupand,exposingherdampcottonknickers,whichlookabsurdonhereight-year-oldbottom,scramblesontohermother’slap.MrsSinghsmoothsherdaughter’shair.
MrSinghclearshisthroat.‘Idon’tthinkthereareanyHindufamiliesleftonWarrisRoad,’hesays.
‘Therearen’t,’Motheragrees.
‘JusttwoSikhfamilies.ThePritamSinghsandus.’
Wehearacyclerattleupthedriveandthecontinuouspealofacycle-bellasFatherpedalsslowlyandlaboriouslyintotheportico.Smilingandnoddingatourvisitors,heparksthecycleonitsstandnexttotheMorrisandlocksit.Fatherhasrevertedtogoingtoworkonhiscycle,leavingtheMorrisforMother.
MrSingh,noticeablyrelievedbyFather’spresence,shakeshandsaffablyandFather,tuckinghisshirtintohisflaringknee-lengthkhakishorts,sitsdownwithaquestioningcountenance.
Alertedbythecycle-bellYousafbringsFatherafrostedglassofwateronatrayandtakesawayhiskhakisolartopi.ThereissilenceasFathertipshisheadanddrainstheglass.Hepushesbackashortfringeofcurlsplasteredtohisforeheadandremovinghisspectacleswipestheperspirationfromthedeepindentationsoneithersideofhisnose.
Gurdaspur’sgonetoIndia,’heremarks,settlingintohischairandcleaninghisglasseswithadamphandkerchief.
‘Yes!That’sasurprise,’saysMrsSinghunexpectedly.Thefactshehasspokenoutherthoughtsindicatesthemeasureofherinnerturmoil.‘IheartheyhadhoistedthegreenPakistaniflagandall.There’sboundtobetrouble,’shesays,makingwhatisforheraremarkablypertinentstatement.
Fathernodssignificantly.HesnapshisfingerstosummonYousaf,andturninghisthumbdownmutelyindicateshiswishformorewater.
NowthatFatherishereMrSinghspreadshisthighscomfortablyand,placinghishandsonhisknees,leansforward:‘SethiSahib,wehavejustreceivedordersfromourleaders…WearetoleaveLahoreforever!’
Fatherraisessurprised,questioningeyebrowsandMrSinghcontinues:‘I’mmeetingthemtonight.They’veworkedoutplansforacompleteSikhevacuation.We’llformourownarmedescort.I’lltakeourbuffaloes…Andwhateveressentialswecanpileintoatruck.Eachfamilyisallottedatruck.’
Father’ssharpeyesgrowseverelycomprehendingandsympathetic.Hefrownsandclearshisthroat.‘Isthereanythingwecando?’
‘Canyoustoreafewthingsforus?Furnitureandwhatwecan’ttake?’saysMrSingh.‘Youknow,housesarebeinglooted.Emptyonesespecially.Theyhaven’tcometothebetterneighbourhoodsyet,butwhoknows?I’llcomebackforthemlater.Thingshavetosubside.’MrSinghspreadshishandsinaconfusedandhelplessgesture.
‘Sure,’Fathernods.
Asalwayseconomical,Fathermakesthesinglewordworkonbothcounts:thathewillbegladtostoreanythingforMrSingh;andthatthingsmustsubside.
‘Ofcourse!’saysMotherwarmly.‘Bringanything!We’llkeepitwiththeShankars’things.Youcanleaveitwithusforaslongasyouwant!’
MrSingh’sandFather’seyesglisteninthedusk.Thesunhasdisappeared.MrSinghhawksanddirectshisspitinalongarcintotheportico,nearsomeflowerpotswithferns.FatherdirectsacommiseratinggobofspittonestlenexttoMrSingh’s.
AsobescapesMrsSingh.Mother’smouthtwitchesandshesniffs.‘Goandplayoutside!Orinside!’shesayssternlytome,indicatingRosyandPeterwithherquiveringchin.Shegetsuptoswitchonthelights.
WegointothekitchentoImamDinforchapattieswithsugarandbutter.ImamDinsprinklesamoregeneroushelpingofsugarthanusual,andflappinghisarmsandcrowingpretendstobearoostertoamuseRosy-Peter.Theyareamused.
TheyfollowmetothebackofthehousewhereIgolookingforAyah.
***
Thingshavebecometopsy-turvy.We’vestoppedgoingtotheQueen’sGardenaltogether.We’vealsostoppedgoingtothewrestler’srestaurant.ThereisdissensionintheranksofAyah’sadmirers.Intwosandthrees,orsingly,theycomeinsteadtoourhouseandsitwithAyahonthepatchoflawnatthebackor,asonthiseveningwhenRosy-PeterandIjointhem,ontheShankars’neglectedveranda.Ayahcomesandgoes,asdutyorMothercalls,andthevisitorstalkamongthemselves.Butcherandtherestaurantwrestlerhaveceasedtovisit.
Tonight,illuminatedbythedustyyellowverandalight,wearegroupedaroundaradio.Masseuristhere.AlsoHari,SherSinghandtheGovernmentHousegardener.ImamDinandYousafarestillcateringtothedemandsofmyparentsandtheirvisitors.AdiisclingingtoAyah’sback,rockinghertoandfroandpullingstrandsofhairoutofherbun.Rosy,PeterandIsettledownonthebrickfloortolisten.Thebroadcastisfragmentedbystatic.
‘So!Gurdaspur’sgonetoIndiaafterall,’saysthezooattendant,shakinghisoutsize,turbanedhead.
‘Shush!’saystheGovernmentHousegardener,cuppinghishandbehindhishoaryeartolistenbetter.
Theradioannouncesthroughthecrackling:‘TherehavebeenreportsoftroubleinGurdaspur.Thesituationisreportedtobeundercontrol.’
‘WhichmeansthereisuncontrollablebutcheringgoingoninGurdaspur,’saysthegardenerflatly,reflectingthegeneralopinion.‘ItistheKali-yuga,nodoubtaboutit,’hesaystoacollectiveandresignedsighofassent.
Masseurturnstheradiooff.MotiandhisuntouchablewifeMucchohavesilentlyjoinedthegroup.Theysitontheverandasteps,justalittlebitapart.
‘Iftheworstcomestotheworst,youcangotoGurdaspur–ortoAmritsar,’saysMasseurtotheSikhyouth.
‘I’mnotgoinganywhere,’saysSherSingh,bristling.Buthesoundsmoreobstinatethandetermined.
‘Isaid,iftheworstcomestotheworst,’saysMasseurmildly.
‘Whoevermustgo,willgo,’saystheGovernmentHousegardener,leaningforwardlaboriouslytopickuphiscurly-toedslippers.Hetapsthemonthefloortoshakeoffthedriedmanureandpicksoffbitsofgrassadheringtothesides.
‘Aeeee!Yourascal!’groansAyah,tuggingherhairoutofAdi’sfistsandtumblinghimforwardonherlap.‘I’llteachyoutobehave,youbadmash!’ShegrinsandholdsAdistrugglinginthepowerfulviceofherthighs.Raisingherarmsshecalmlyplaitsherhair.
Westirandstretch,preparingtobreakupfortheevening.Andjustthen,inthemutedrustle,weheartherattleofabicyclehurtlingupourdriveatanalarmingspeed.Wegrowstill,expectant.Andemergingfromthenightlikeablunderingandscraggybird,scrapinghisshoeontheverandasteptochecktheheedlessvelocityofhisapproach–MotiandMucchoscrambleoutofhisway–Ice-candy-mancomestoanabruptandjoltedhalt.Heisbreathless,reekingofsweatanddust,andhisfranticeyesrakethegroup.TheyrestforaninstantontheSikh,andflutterbacktous.‘AtrainfromGurdaspurhasjustcomein,’heannounces,panting.‘Everyoneinitisdead.Butchered.TheyareallMuslim.Therearenoyoungwomenamongthedead!Onlytwogunny-bagsfullofwomen’sbreasts!’Ice-candy-man’sgriponthehandlebarsissotightthathisknucklesbulgewhitelyinthepalelight.Thekohllininghiseyeshasspreadforminghollow,skull-likeshadows:andasheraiseshisarmtowipetheperspirationcrawlingdownhisface,hisglanceonceagainflitsoverSherSingh.‘Iwasexpectingrelatives…Forthreedays…Fortwelvehourseachday…Iwaitedforthattrain!’
WhatI’veheardisunbearable.Idon’twanttobelieveit.ForagrislyinstantIseeMother’sdetachedbreasts:soft,pendulous,theirbeigenipplesspreading.IshakemyheadtofocusmydistractedattentiononIce-candy-man.Heappearstohavegrownshadesdarker,andhisfaceisalldriedupandshrivelled-looking.Icanseethatbeneathhisshockheisgrieving.
InstinctivelyIlookatthezooattendant.SherSinghisstaringatthepopsicleman.Hispupilsareblackanddis-tended.Hischeckedshirtisopenatthethroat:andhisnarrowpigeon-chestisgoingupanddown,upanddown,intheeerieverandalight.
***
Acrowdhasgatheredinthenarrowalleyinfrontofthetobacco-naswarshop.IfitisonethingIam,it’sinquisitive.IslipawayfromAyah,andslidingbetweenthethicketoflegseasemywayintothecentre.IseethePathan.SharbatKhanhasreturnedfromthemountains!
Ishout,‘Saalamailekum,KhanSahib!’Butbusypushingthepedalonhisscrapingandsparkingmachinehedoesn’thearme.Peopleareholdingouttohimtheirknives,choppers,daggers,axes,stavesandscythes.Andintheclamour,nosetothegrindstone,SharbatKhansharpensonebluntedgeaftertheother.
ThecrowdswellsasmoreandmorepeoplegettoknowthatSharbatKhanisback.Children,sentbytheirmothersandgrandmothers,runupwithanassortmentofkitchenknivesandmeat-cleaversandcirclethecrowdtryingtosqueezein.Somearegood-naturedlypickedupandpassedthrough,butforthemostpartthemenappearnervous–andsoanxioustogettheirownimplementssharpenedthattheythreatenandabusethechildren.Theymusthavealotofwoodtochop.Alotofmeattocut.Alotofgrasstomowwiththeirscythes.
IspotSherSingh.HeisstrugglingtowardsSharbatKhanwithatangledarmloadofdaggersandswords.Hehastobecarryingtheentirestockofhisfamily’sreligiousarsenal!Hehasatouchy,defensivelookthatIhavenoticedonhisfaceoflate.Itmakesmewanttobringhimintoourhouseandaskeverybodytobenicetohim.Ayahtooisverycarefulhowshetalkstohim.Hebristlesevenathermildlyflirtatiousteasing.ShehandleshimwiththecautionSherSinghlavishesonthenervouslittlelioncubsinthezoo.Hehastakenustoseethecubs.It’sallverywelltoseethemrompandmew,butwithinayeartheywillroartheirwayintomynightmaresandsinktheirfangsinme.Kittensaredrowned.Whynotthem?
Ahandsuddenlygripsmyarmandyanksmeout.ItisMasseur’sunerringhand.‘Whatareyoudoinginthiscrowd?’heasks.‘Youcouldgethurt.’
WespotAyah.Sheappearspanicked.AndwhensheseesussherushesuptomeandpicksmeupandfussesovermeasifI’vebeenlostandfound.
‘It’sallright,’Isay,wishingtoreassureher,‘IwasonlylookingatSharbatKhan.’
‘Oh,’shesays.‘He’sback?’
‘Yes,’Isay,pointingatthecrowd.‘He’ssharpeningtheirknives.’
ThateveningSharbatKhanvisitsus,bringingAyahalmonds,pistachiosanddriedapricotstiedinasquareofredsatin.‘Howlong’veyoubeenback?’asksAyah,undoingtheknotsinthebundlewithherteethandexaminingthecontentswithherfingers.
‘Twodays,’hesays,hisvoicehoneyedwithadoration.‘Iwould’vecomeearlierbuttherewassucharushofbusiness.IneverknewthereweresomanydaggersandknivesinLahore!’
‘Ifyou’dwaitedmuchlongermypresentswouldhaverotted,’saysAyah.
Iamsurprised.AyahappearstohavelosthersenseofaweandexcitementinSharbatKhan’spresence.Sheisnottheleastbitawkward.Insteadofhidingherfaceandfidgetingwithhersarishelooksathimoutofcalmandbemusedeyes.
Masseur,perfumedandprimed,comeshalfanhourlater.Heiswearingalongcreamysilkshirtoverhisheavylinenlungiandhismoustacheisoiledandgleaming.Themen
appraiseeachotherwithcautioussuspicionasMasseur,hitchinguphislungi,hunkersdownonthefloor.
‘You’vebeenawayforquitesometime,’drawlsMasseur,twirlingthepointedtipsofhismoustachewithasignifi-canceImiss.‘Threemonthsorso?’
‘Yes,’saysSharbatKhan,pensivelysmoothingthethickgrowthofhair,croppedlikearug,onhisupperlip.‘Andyou’vebeenhereallthattime?’
‘Obviously,’saysMasseurcoolly.
Theylookasifeachisawhiskereddogcirclingtheother–weighinginandwarninghisfoe.
Ayah,meanwhile,iscrackingthealmondswithhersmallstrongteethandchewingthemwithappreciativesmacks.SheoffersthekernelstomeandthentoMasseur.Masseursmilesandshakeshishead,no.Heliftshisshirtandwithdrawsfromaknottiedinhiselegantlungiasmallpacketofpreparedpaan.Heholdsthebetel-leafouttoAyah.Ayahlooksatthesucculentpaan,plumpwithcardomom,andthenatMasseur’smouth.Herfacereflectsananswer.AndSharbatKhanturnsawayhisface,honourablyconcedingtheround.
Enoughisenough!TheyhavestaredateachotherandsecretlycommunicateduntilAyah’smouthisredwithpaan,andIamfittoscream.SharbatKhancarefullyplacesthegoldkulla–aroundwhichhisturbaniswrapped–onhisheadandstandsup.Withoutawordhemountshisbicycleandwobblesawaywithhismachineclatteringdejectedlybehindhim.
HisdeparturebringstomindtheChinaman.ItoccurstomethatIhaven’tseenhimforalongtime.‘Whereishe?Tellme.Tellme,’IshoutintoAyah’sears,andholdingherbythem,forcehertoturntome.
‘TheChinaman?’sheasksabsently.‘Oh,hewentawayatthefirstsmelloftrouble,’shesays,withmelodiousindulgenceforthecowardlyChinaman.
‘Whattrouble?’
‘ThisPakistan–Hindustanbusiness…’
‘Wheredidhego?’Iask.
‘Oh,Idon’tknow,’saysAyah.‘ProbablybacktohisChina.’
Masseur’sbeenwithAyahpracticallyallevening,yetthere’snosignofIce-candy-man.Iwonderaboutit.
ThenexteveningMasseurhasAyahalltohimself.Andthenext.Stillnosignofthepopsiclevendor.
Iamdisturbed.SoisAyah.‘Whereiseverybody?’sheasksMasseur:meaningtheGovernmentHousegardener,thewrestler,thebutcher,thezooattendant,ice-candy-manandtherestofthegang.EvenYousafandImamDinappeartohavebecomelessvisible.
Chapter19
PapooandIarehelpingHaribathethebuffalointheafternoonwhenAdiwalksupintheslushand,manoeuvringhimselfbetweenmeandthebuffalo,standsabsolutely,intenselystill.Asifthisaloneisnotenoughtorivetmyattention,hemurmursinmyear:‘Followme!’
Heturnsandcasuallywalksaway.Icantellheiswildwithexcitementandhasexercisedallhisself-controlnottobreakintoarun.I’dfollowhimtotheendsoftheearthtodiscoverthecauseofhisexcitement.
WhenweareoutsidetheShankars’emptyrooms,heturnstomehisshiningeyes.Hehasnorighttolooklikethis…Asiflitupfromwithin.Regardless–I’dfollowhimtotheendsoftheearth.
‘Whatisit?’Iwhisperinafrenzy.
‘Theblackboxisbackinthebathroom.’
Itisarareoccasion:Adi-made-of-mercurystandingstill,andconfidinginme.
Notonlyistheblackboxback,saysAdi,buthealsoknowswhat’sinit.
‘What?What?Tellme,’Iplead.
ButAdi,likeacatplayingwiththepoortail-lessmousey,says:‘Seeforyourself.’
Itiptoeupthebathroomstepsandapproachthelongbox.Itisassinisterasever.ItakeAdi’swordforitthatitisopen–butIdarenotliftthelid.Ihave-nowishtobescaredoutofmywits:Whatifit’sagrinning,skeletalcorpse?
Adiputsacautioningfingeronhislipsandliftsthelid.Nestledinscarletvelvet,inadepressionspeciallycarvedforit,likeadarkjewelinitssetting,isanenormousdouble-barrelgun.Ifeelitssmoothbarrelsanditspolishedwood.
Nowonderwecouldn’tcarrythebox.Thegunisheavy.Betweenuswecarrythegun,Adicautiouslyleadingatthebarrelend,andmeattheother.Nervousthatwemightbediscovered,orthatthegunmightfireitsdoublebarrelsintoAdi’sbehind,weatlastreachthegate.
Aditakesfirstturn.IhelphimstandupthegunandhelookslikeadiminutiveGurkhawithacannon.
Idon’tknowhowlongwetaketurnsholdingthegun.Anhour–perhapstwo.Weheartheubiquitouschantingofthemobsinthedistance:‘Allah-o-Akbar!’comesthefragmentedroarfromtheMuslimgoondasofMozang.‘Bolesonehal:Satsiriakal!’fromtheSikhgoondasofBeadonRoad.StandingatattentionwiththegunIfeelreadytofaceanymob.
Thereislittletraffic;afewtongas,halfadozencyclists.Agroupofprisoners,thechainsalongtheirarmsandlegsclanking,eyethegunspeculativelyandthepolicemanshepherdingthemprudentlycrossestheroad.Noonetalkstous.Thepresenceofthedualbarrelsisintimidating.
Luckilyit’snotmyturnwhenFathercyclesupandcomestoagrimhaltinfrontofAdi.Notloquaciousathiscalmest,Fatherisrenderedspeechless.HeglaresatAdi.‘Putitbackatonce!’hesaysatlast.HeslapsAdiforthefirsttimeinhislife.
PushingthecyclewithonehandFathercomestomeandthumpsmyback.Asthumpsgoitisahalf-heartedthump–unlikeMother’swhole-heartedwhacksthatcauseustostaggerclearacrossrooms–butnobeatingofMother’severyhurtsomuch.
AfterdinnerFathersitsusonhislapandexplains:‘Yourlivesweren’tworthtwopicewhenyoushowedoffwiththatgun.’
Theblackboxagaindisappears.
***
Ice-candy-manvisitsatlast.OnceagainwearegatheredontheShankars’abandonedveranda.Icannotbelievethechangeinhim.Goneisthedarklygrievinglookthathadaffectedmesodeeplytheeveningheemergedfromthenightandalmostcrashedintouswiththegrimnewsofthetrain-loadofdeadMuslims.
Ice-candy-manhasacquiredanunpleasantswaggerandastrangewayoflookingatHariandMoti.Heisfullofbravado–andstillfullofstories.‘YourememberKirpaRam?Thatskinflintweallowemoney?’heasks,barelybotheringtogreetanyoneashesettlesamongus,chompingonapaan.Hismouth,slimyandcrimsonwithbetel-juice,bloated–asifhe’sbecomeaccustomedtoindulginghimself.
‘Thatmoney-lenderwouldsqueezebloodfromafly!’hesays,bendingovertospitbetel-juiceintoaflowerpotholdingadelicatetraceryofferns.‘Well,’hecontinues,‘KirpaRam’spackedhisfamilyofftoDelhi.Butcanhebeartopartfromthoseofushe’sbeenfatteningon?No!So,hestays.Hethinkshe’sthatbrave!’Ice-candy-man’smouthcurlsinacontemptuoussneer.‘ButtheinstantweenteredhishouseIsawhisfatdhotiedtailslipoutofthebackdoor!Ramzanathebutchernoticedadamppatchononeofthewalls.Ithadbeenhastilywhitewashed.Hescrapedthecementandremovedabrick.Whatd’youthinkhefound?Poucheswithninehundredguineassewnintothem!Ninehundredgoldenguineas!’
Ice-candy-manstudiesus,movinghisswaggeringeyestriumphantlyfromfacetoface.
Ayah,theGovernmentHousegardener,HariandMotistarebackwithset,expressionlessfaces.Masseurfrowns.Yousafscowlsatthenakedverandabulb.ImamDingetsup,leaningheavilyontheGovernmentHousegardener,andinvokingAllah’smercyandblessingsandsighing,headsforthekitchen.
‘Showmeyourhand,’saysIce-candy-mantoAyah.
Ayah,surprisedintothinkinghewantstoreadherfuture,opensherplumppalmandshowsittoIce-candy-man.Ialsothinkheisinitiatingseductionthroughpalmistry.Insteadheplacesagoldcoininherhand.Ayahstudiesitminutelyandbitesittotestthegold.
Itisbittenandpassedfromhandtohandandontome.IexamineQueenVictoria’sembossedprofilewithfascination.Despitethedifferenceinthemetalsitisthesameprofileshedisplaysinherstatue.
AyahreturnsthecointoIce-candy-man.
‘Keepit.It’sforyou,’hesaysgrandly,foldingherfingersoverit.
‘No,’shesays,shakingherheadandhidingherhandsbehindherback.
She’slikeme.Therearesomethingsshewillnothold.
‘ButIbroughtitspeciallyforyou!Pleaseacceptit,’pleadsIce-candy-man,forthefirsttimesoundinglikehisoldingratiatingself.
Ayahavertsherface.‘Where’sSherSingh?’shesuddenlyasks.Asifthezooattendantissomewhereheoughtnottobe.
Thereisnoreply.
‘He’sleftLahore,Ithink,’saysYousafatlast,glancingatIce-candy-man.
Ice-candy-manmakesaharsh,crudesound.‘There’snaturaljusticeforyou!’hesays,spittingtheredjuiceintothefernsagain.‘YourememberhowhegotridofhisMuslimtenants?Well,thetenantshadtheirownback!Exposedthemselvestohiswomenfolk!Theywentabitfurther…playedwithoneofSherSingh’ssisters…Nothingserious–butherhusbandturnedugly..Hewaskilledinthescuffle,’saysIce-candy-mancasually.‘Well,theyhadtoleaveLahoresoonerorlater…AfterwhatonehearsofSikhatrocitiesit’sbettertheyleftsooner!Therefugeesareclamouringforrevenge!’
‘Wereyouamongthemenwhoexposedthemselves?’askstheGovernmentHousegardener.Histoneimpliesmoreamildassertionthanaquestion.
‘What’sittoyou,oye?’saysIce-candy-manraisinghisvoiceandflaringintoaninsolentdisplayofwrath.‘Ifyoumustknow,Iwas!I’lltellyoutoyourface–IlosemysenseswhenIthinkofthemutilatedbodiesonthattrainfromGurdaspur…thatnightIwentmad,Itellyou!IlobbedgrenadesthroughthewindowsofHindusandSikhsI’d
knownallmylife!Ihatedtheirguts…IwanttokillsomeoneforeachofthebreaststheycutofftheMuslimwomen…Thepenises!’
Inthesilencethatfollows,thegardenerclearshisthroat.
‘You’reright,brother,’hesays.IfeelhecannotmeetIce-candy-man’seyes.Heislookingsodeliberatelyatthefloorthatitappearsasifheishanginghishead.‘Therearesomethingsamancannotlookuponwithoutgoingmad.It’sthemischiefofSatan…Evilwillspawnevil…Godpreserveus.’Hisvoiceisgruffwiththeburdenofdisillusionandloss.‘I’vesentmyfamilytoDelhi.AssoonastheSarkarpermitsIwilljointhem.’ThegardenerturnshiswearygazeuponHari.‘Haveyoumadeplanstogo,brother?’heasks.
‘Whereto?’saysHari,shakinghisheadandwipinghiseyeswithhisarm.‘I’llridethestormout.I’venowheretogo.’
‘You’llfindsomeplacetogo,’saystheGovernmentHousegardener.‘Whenourfriendsconfesstheywanttokillus,wehavetogo…’Hemakesnomovetowipethetearsrunninginlittlerillsthroughhisgreystubbleanddrippingfromhischin.Theredrimsofhiseyesareblurredandsoggyandblendintothesoftfleshasifhehasbecomeaddictedtoweeping.
MotiandPapooaresittingbowedandsubduedontheverandasteps.‘Whataboutyoutwo?’Masseurasks.‘Areyouleaving?’
Afterapause,duringwhichwehearMoti’sknucklescrackashepresseshisfingersagainsthispalm,speakinghesitantlyandsolowthatIcanbarelyhearhim,hesays,‘ItalkedtothepadreattheCantonmentMission…We’rebecomingChristian.’
Ice-candy-man,appearingrestless,nodscasually.‘Quiteafewofyourpeopleareconverting,’hesays.‘You’dbetterchangeyourname,too,whileyou’reatit.’
ThelongerIobserveIce-candy-manthemoreInoticethechangewroughtinhim.Heseemstohavelosthislithe,cat-likemovements.Andheappearstohaveputonweight.Perhapsit’sjusttheairofconsequenceonhimthatmakeshimappearmoresubstantial.
‘TheFalettisHotelcookhasalsorunawaywithhistailbetweenhislegs!’heinformsus,unasked.Andonceagainheappearsbloatedwithtriumph…andahorridirre-pressiblegloating.
Itisverylate.Thefrogsarecroakingagain.Wemighthavesomerainyet.ExceptforMasseur,everyonehasgone.Wemovetothepatchofgrassneartheservants’quarters.Thereisafullmoonoutbutitispitch-darkwherewesitunderamulberrytree.Thereisnobreeze.Andexceptfortheoccasionalrustleintheleavescausedbyarestlessbird,ortheindiscerniblemovementofafrog,thenightisstill.
Ayahiscryingsoftly.‘Imustgetoutofhere,’shesays,sniffingandwipinghernoseonhersari-blousesleeve.‘IhaverelativesinAmritsarIcangoto.’
‘Youdon’tneedtogoanywhere,’saysMasseur,soassuredlypossessivethatIfeelastabofjealousy.‘Whydoyouworry?I’mhere.Noonewilltouchahaironyourhead.Idon’tknowwhyyoudon’tmarryme!’hesays,sighingpersuasively.‘YouknowIworshipyou…’
‘I’malreadyyours,’saysAyahwithdisturbingsubmission.‘Iwillalwaysbeyours.’
‘Don’tyoudaremarryhim!’Icry.‘You’llleaveme…Don’tleaveme,’Ibeg,kickingMasseur.
‘Sillygirl!Iwon’tleaveyou…AndifIhaveto,you’llfindanotherayahwhowillloveyoujustasmuch.’
‘Idon’twantanotherayah…Iwillneverletanotherayahtouchme!’
Istartsobbing.IkissAyahwhereverMasseurisnottouchingherinthedark.
Chapter20
Rosy-Peterhavegone.TheGovernmentHousegardenerhasgone…
Andthegramophonesandspeakersmountedontongasandlorriesscratchily,endlesslypouringoutthemelodyofNurJehan’spopularfilmsongthatisnowsostrangelyapt:Merebachpankesathimujhebhoolnajana–
Dekho,dekkohensenazamana,hansenazamana.
Friendsfromourchildhood,don’tforgetus–
Seethatachangedworlddoesnotmockus.
Instead,waveuponscruffywaveofMuslimrefugeesfloodLahore–andthePunjabwestofLahore.WithinthreemonthssevenmillionMuslimsandfivemillionHindusandSikhsareuprootedinthelargestandmostterribleexchangeofpopulationknowntohistory.ThePunjabhasbeendividedbytheicycard-sharksdealingoutthelandvillagebyvillage,citybycity,wheelinganddealinganddolingoutfavours.
Fornowthetideisturned–andtheHindusarebeingfavouredovertheMuslimsbytheremnantsoftheRaj.NowthatitsobjectivetodivideIndiaisachieved,theBritishfavourNehruoverJinnah.NehruisKashmiri;theygranthimKashmir.Spurninglogic,defyingrationale,ignoringtheconsequenceofbequeathingaMuslimstatetotheHindus:whileJinnahfutilelyprotests:‘Statesmencannoteattheirwords!’
Statesmendo.
TheygrantNehruGurdaspurandPathankot,withoutwhichMuslimKashmircannotbesecured.
Nehruwearsredcarnationsinthebuttonholesofhisivoryjackets.HebandieswordswithLadyMountbattenandispresumedtobeherlover.Heischarming,too,toLordMountbatten.Suave,Cambridge-polished,hecarriesabouthimanauraofpowerandapresencethatflattersanyonehecomplimentstenfold.Hedolesoutpromises,smiles,kisses-on-cheeks.HeisintheprimeofhisBrahminmanhood.Heishandsome:hischeeksglowpink.
Jinnahisincapableofcompliments.Austere,driven,pukka-sahibaccented,deathlyill:incapableofcheek-kissing.Insteadofcarnationshewearsakarakulicap,sombrewithtight,greylamb’s-woolcurls:andinsteadofpalejackets,blackachkancoats.Heispasttheprimeofhiselegantmanhood.Sallow,whip-thin,sharp-tongued,uncompromising.
HistrainingattheOldBaileyandpracticeinEnglishcourtroomshasgivenhimfaithinconstitutionalmeans,andheputshismisplacedhopesintotallstandardsofuprightjustice.ThefadingEmpiresacrificeshiscausetotheirshiftingallegiances.
Mothershowsmeaphotograph:‘SheisJinnah’swife,’shesays.‘She’sParsee.’
Thewomaninthephotographisastonishinglybeautiful.Largeeyes,liquid-brown,radiatingyouth,promisingintelligence,declaringinnocence,shiningfromanovalmarble-firmface.Full-lipped,delightingintheknowledgeofherownloveliness:confidentintheknowledgeofhergenerousimpulses.Giving–likeAyah.Daring–likeMother.‘Plucky!’Mothersays.
Fortheladyinthephotographisdaring:anIndianwomanbaringherhandsomeshouldersinastraplessgowninanerawhensuchunclothingwasconsideredreprehensible.Defying,ateighteen,herwealthyknightedfather,bravingthedisapprovaloftheirrigidcommunity,excommunicated,shemarriesaMuslimlawyertwenty-twoyearsolderthanher.Jinnahwasbrilliant,elegantlyhandsome:hehadtobetomarrysucharavingbeauty.Andcold,too,hehadtobe–towinsuchagenerousheart.
‘Whereisshe?’IaskMother.
Mother’seyesturninwards.Herlipsgiveatwitch:‘Shediedattwenty-nine.Herheartwasbroken…’
Herdaringtonoaccount.Herdefiancehumbled.Herenergyextinguished.Onlyherimageinthephotograph–andherinnocence–remainintact.
Butdidn’tJinnah,too,dieofabrokenheart?Andtoday,fortyyearslater,infilmsofGandhi’sandMountbatten’slives,inbooksbyBritishandIndianscholars,Jinnah,whoforadecadewasknownas‘AmbassadorofHindu-MuslimUnity’,iscaricatured,andportrayedasamonster.ThemanaboutwhomIndia’spoetessNaiduSarojiniwrote:
…thecalmhauteurofhisaccustomedreservemasks,forthosewhoknowhim,anaïveandeagerhumanity,anintuitionquickandtenderasawoman’s,ahumourgayandwinningasachild’s–pre-eminentlyrationalandpractical,discreetanddispassionateinhisestimateandacceptanceoflife,theobvioussanityandserenityofhisworldlywisdomeffectuallydisguiseashyandsplendididealismwhichisoftheveryessenceoftheman.
Chapter21
Harihashadhisbodhishaved.HehasbecomeaMuslim.
Hehasalsohadhispeniscircumcised.‘Byabarber,’saysCousin,unbuttoninghisflyinElectric-aunt’ssittingroom.Treatingmetoaviewofhisuncircumcisedpenis,hestretcheshisforeskinbacktoshowmehowHari’scircumcisedpenismustlook.
IrecallHari’sdarkgenitals,partiallyobscuredbythedustandduskandcrumpledwithfearashestoodinthecircleofhistormentors.Myimaginationpresentsunbearableimages.IshakemyheadtodispelthemandrevertmyattentiontoCousin’sexposedflesh.
HisgenitalshavegrownsinceIlastexaminedthem–threeyearsago–afterhe’dhadhisherniaoperation.Thepenisislongerandthickerandgracefullyarched–anditseemstobebreathing.
‘Feelit,’offersCousin.
Ilikeitsfeel.Itiswarmandcuddly.AsIsqueezethepliantfleshitstrengthensandgrowsinmyhand.
‘Hey!’Isay.‘What’sthis!’
CousinhasafunnylookinhiseyesthatIdon’ttrust.
‘Ihavebecomeahoney-comb,’hesays.‘Lickme,here,andseewhathappens.’
Ilickthetipgingerly.Nothing.Nohoney.
‘You’vegottosuckoutthehoney.’Cousinarcheshisbackandmanoeuvreshispenistomymouth.
‘Suckityourself!’Isay,standingup.
‘Ican’t,’saysCousin.
Iseetheabsurdityofmysuggestion.Ishrugaway.
IlikeCousin.I’veeventhoughtofmarryinghimwhenwegrowup:butthisisasideofhimI’mbecomingawareofforthefirsttime,andIdon’tlikeit.
‘Allright,I’llshowyouanyway,’saysCousininaconciliatoryvoice.‘Justlook:I’llshowyousomething.’
CousinpumpsandpumpshispenisanditbecomesallredandIthinkhewilltearhimselfandIsay,‘Stopit!You’llbleed,’buthepumpsandpumpsandIbegintocry.
Cousintooisclosetocrying.Hemopesaroundfortherestoftheafternoonwithhisflylookingstuffed.Ihaven’tbeenabletokeepmyeyesofffliessince:intriguedbythefleshymachinery.
Harihasadaptedhisnametohisnewfaith:hewantsustocallhimHimatAli.Hehasalsochangedhisdhotiforthesubstantialgathersofthedraw-stringshalwar.
***
IspendthenightaftermybirthdayatGodmother’s.Lateintheeveningherroomresemblesthebarracksdormitorywepeepintofromtheservants’quartersroof.Fivecotsarelaidoutatallanglesandthereishardlyanyspacetowalk.
Ilieonmycot,betweenGodmotherandDrManekMody.Oldhusbandisalreadysnoringgentlyfromthedirectionofourfeet.OnlythekitchenlightisonandSlavesisterissoftlylayingoutthecupsandsaucersforthemorning’stea.
‘Hurryupandgotosleep,Lenny,’saysDrMody,sogleefullythatIbecomesuspiciousandask,‘Why?’
‘BecauseIwanttopounceonyourRodaAuntyandeatherup.I’mhungry.’
Therehegoesagain.
Godmotherissilent.Ireachoutmyhandandtapthewoodenframeofhercharpoyinthedarkandsheholdsmyhandtight.
DrModymakesa‘slurp-slurp’soundandrubshishandstogetherinthedark.
‘Don’tbesilly.Youcan’teatpeople,’Isay.
‘Gotosleep,can’tyou?’hesays,ignoringmycomment.‘Now,wheredoIstart?…RoastlegofAuntyorbarbecuedribs?Ofcourse!I’llmakeanicejellyfromhertrotters!Seasonedwithcinnamonandorangejuice–slurp-slurp.JustlikeImamDin’sjelly.’
ImamDinmakesadeliciousjelly–butoutofsheep’strotters.
DrMody’scotcreaksashesitsup,andIseehispyjama-suitedsilhouetteand,baldheadshiningmenacinglyinthefaintlightfromthekitchen.IspringoutofbedandwrapmylimbsaboutGodmother.Shelieswithinmysmallarmsandlegslikeatrustingandtremulouswhaleinherwhitegarments.‘Ifyoutouchher,Iwillkillyou!’Iscream.‘Ihaveadouble-barrelgun!’
‘IthinkIwillstartwithcrumbedchopsàlaRoda,’saysthedoctorundeterred.
ThelightisblockedbrieflyasSlavesistercomesthroughthedoor,carefullybalancingasaucerofhotteaforGodmother.Shenoticestheseateddoctorandasks,‘CanIgetyouanight-cap?’
‘Yes,please.I’dloveahotcupofbloodàlaRoda:withsaltandpepper.’
Ihaveabrilliantidea.‘YoucanhaveMiniAunty.Sheisfatter.’
‘Thankyouverymuch!’saysMiniAunty.
‘Idon’twantMini.I’minthemoodforatougholdthingIcanchewon.’
‘You’reaghoul!’Iscreechsternly.
‘Oh,no.I’monlyavampire.’
‘Now,now.Nomoreofthat,’intervenesSlavesister.‘Someonewillhavenightmares…Andthensomeonemightwetherbed.’
‘Someonewillnotwetherbed!’Isayfirmly,usingthetoneGodmotherusestosquashher.
‘Nevermindyourcheek.Getbacktoyourcharpoy.Youshouldbefastasleep,’saysSlavesister,completelyunabashed,andpatientlyholdingoutGodmother’ssaucerofhottea.
‘Chi,chi,chi!Shewetsherbed?’saysDrModyholdinghisnose.‘Chi,chi,chi!Don’tsleepnexttome.’
‘Shedoesnotwetthebed,’saysGodmother,risinggallantlytotheoccasion–andtotakehersauceroftea.
‘Youwouldn’tknow.Youdon’twashthesheets,’saysSlavesisterrecklessly.She’sprobablycountingontheinchGodmotherallowedherwhen,bemusedbytheeventsofthathistoricday,sheletSlavesistergetawaywithinsubordinationonmybirthday.ButherluckybreakhasgonethewayofallsuchbreaksandGodmother,rearinguponherpillows,retaliates:‘Don’tthinkI’venotbeenobservingyourtongueoflate!Ifyou’renotcareful,I’llsnipitoff!Thenyou’llprobablylearnnottoberudeinfrontofguests.IhatetothinkwhatManekwilltellourmiddlesisteraboutyourbehaviourbeforeyourelders!’
‘Really,Rodabai!Howlongwillyoutreatmelikeachild?’
‘Tillyougrowup!Godknows,you’vegrownolder–andfatter–butnotup!Thischildherehasmoresensethanyou.Nowstopeatingourheads.Sayyourprayersandgotosleep.’
Slavesisterretreatstothekitchenandcommencesmumbling.
DrManekModyrepresseshiscannibalisticprowlingandliesdownquietly.
It’slovelytohavesomeonefightyourbattlesforyou.Speciallywhenyou’relittle.IadoreGodmother.Ilatchontohertighter,andkissherroughkhaddarnightgown.Thepantrylightgoesout.Slavesistergropesherwaytohersaggingcharpoyandcontinueshermumblesinthevicinityofourheads.
‘Um!Um!’warnsGodmother.
Themumblesstop.
IknowDrModyisonlyteasing.Afterall,I’meight!Whenwilltheystoptreatingmelikeababy?AndI’mfedupofbeingcalledLennybaby,Lennybaby,Lennybaby…
WhenGodmothercomesoutofherbaththenextmorning,clatteringintothekitchenonwoodenthongs,herdolphinshapewrappedinonlyhersari,oneshoulderbare,hairdripping–alldewyandfresh–shelookslikeadaintyyoungthing.Asifthewaterhaswhittledawayherage.
BythetimeSlavesisteremergesfromherbath,lookinglikemeltingtallowandoozingmoisturefrompowderedpores,GodmotherhasputonherbodiceandblouseandvelvetslippersandpumpedalivethehissingPrimusstove.Sheappearsacceptingoflife.Consciousofherirrepressiblyyouthfulspirit–raringtogo.
‘Whattookyousolonginthebath?’shesays,gettingthedayofftoaflyingstart.‘YouknowManekhastogooutearly.Youknowthere’ssomuchtobedone–theboysarecomingintheevening–andyouretiretosplashfromthebucketlikeCleopatra!’
Slavesisteristoosedatedfromherbathtoreact.Oozingmoisture,shemovesaboutgatheringtheingredientsfortheomelettesandbeginschoppingtheonionsandgreenpeppers.
DrMody,anxiousnottomissthechatter,burstsintothekitcheninhisstripedpyjamas.Andasifhisloudvoicewerenotenough,heclapshandstogainattention:‘Where’sbreakfast?Where’sbreakfast?I’msohungryIcouldeatRodabai!SuchapityLenny’shere…’hesays,grinningfromeartoear–andnicelyfanningbankedfires.
‘IfBathingBeautydidn’ttakehourswallowinginherbathlikeCleopatra,you’dhavebreakfast!Comeon.Comeon.Moveyourfingers!’
‘Yes,Mini!Moveit.Moveit,’saysthedoctorputtinghisshortarmsroundSlavesister’sheavyshouldersandhuggingheraffectionately.
‘Mindyoudon’tcutyourself,’cautionsGodmother.
‘It’snotthefirsttimeI’musingaknife,Rodabai,’saysAuntMinireasonably.
‘Isaid“mind”.Ihaveenoughworrieswithoutyouraddingtothem!’
‘Yes,yes!Mindyoudon’tchopoffyourfatlittlefingers,’saysDrManekMody,echoingGodmother.
‘Now,don’tyougojoininghandswithher,’saysMiniAunty.
‘Her?Her?’asksGodmother,lookingconfusedlyatherbrother-in-lawandatme.‘Who’sher?Where’sher?’
Slavesisterchopsthetomatoessilently.
‘Yes?Who’sher?’asksherbrother-in-law.
Oldhusbandemergesfromthebathroom.Heis,asalways,dryandbrittle,andirritated.
‘HisSourship’shadhisbath.Manek,you’dbettertakeyourturnbeforeCleopatradecidestosettledowntoherbusinessonthecommode.’
‘Really,Rodabai…Ihatetosayit,butyoureallyaregoingtoofar,’saysSlavesister.
‘Oh?Whereto?WhereamIgoing?’
‘Don’tmakemesaysomethingyou’llregret…’
‘Comeon.Outwithit!I’dliketoknowwhereI’mgoing…andwhereIstand!’
‘Yes.Outwithit!WhereareyoupackingmyRodabaioffto?’
‘Manek,you’dbewisetokeepoutofthis,’saysSlave-sistersolemnly.‘Don’taggravatethesituation…It’sbadenoughwithoutyourencouragingher.’
‘Isthatso?’Godmotherisingoodform.‘MayIaskwhoyouaretotellManeknottomeddle?Areyousomebody?QueenCleopatraofJailRoad,perhaps?’
‘Youknow!I’mnothing…nobody…’
‘ThenwhodoesyourNobodyshipthinksheisorderingabout?Youmeddleallyouwant,Manek!Youaremarriedtooursister.Youhaveeveryrighttoencouragewhomyouwishtointhishouse!’Godmotherturnstofaceherstoickidsister.‘Andhe’sonlyaskingwhatIwishtoknow!Howfar,exactly,amIgoing?’
‘Ihatetosayit…but,youarebecoming…vulgar!’
‘Oh?Isthatso?Andwhatdoyouthinkyouarebecoming…whenyoulollonthecommodeallmorningspreadingperfumes?’
‘Chi,chi,chi!’saysDrMody,holdinghisfleshynose.
‘I’llchopoffyournose,youchi-chi-chiwallal’saysMiniAunty.Sheoftenactsthespoiltsis-in-lawwithhim.
‘NowonderMrsPenaskedtheothermorningifthegarbagecarthadbeentous.Nowonder!Ifeelsoembarrassed…’saysGodmotherbattinghereyes.
‘Ifit’sconstipation,Icanhelpherout,’saystheprofessionalmedicine-man.
‘Isthatwhatitis?’asksGodmother,allintelligentandalertandconcerned.‘Issheconstipated,doyouthink?Couldyouprescribeherastrongpurgative?’
‘Icangiveherahorse’sdose,ifyouwish.’
‘Sogoodofyou,Manek,’saysGodmother.‘Peoplewillstoptakingusfortheneighbourhoodmanuredump.’
Slavesisterwipesherfaceonhersleeve.Herlipsaremoistandflattened:theyappeartobemoving.
‘Areyoumuttering?’demandsGodmother.‘Kindlypermitustoshareyourmutters.’
‘No…it’sjusttheonions…’Slavesistermanagestosay.‘Theomelettemasalaisready.Wheredoyouwantmetomaketheomelette?’
Slavesisterhaswiselyelectedtosounddocileandmatter-of-fact.
Oldhusbandshufflesoutofthekitchenandsettleswithhisprayerbookinthebentwoodchair.Thewhitestubbleonhischeeksquiversashesilentlymumbleshisprayers.
GodmotherhasinvitedfourstudentsfromtheKingEdwardMedicalCollegedormstotea.Theirparents,whohaveatsomepointintimeknowneitherGodmotheroroneofherkin,haverequestedhertokeepanoccasionaleyeonthem.
Godmotherinvitesthemwheneverherbrother-in-lawvisitsLahore.Shefeelsitisgoodforthefledglingstobeinthecompanyofafully-fledgeddoctor.Though,asfarasIcantell,theydiligentlycompeteinsettingeachotherabadexample.
Onlytwostudents,YakoobfromPeshawarandCharlesChaudhry,anIndianChristianfromMultan,showupthatevening.
‘PrakashandhisfamilyhavemigratedtoDelhi,’saysYakoob,explainingtheabsenceoftheHinduboy.
Wearesittingonthedriveinaroughcircle;GodmotherinhereasychairandIonherlap.
‘RoshanSinghleftforAmritsaronlylastMonday,’saysYakoobexplainingtheabsenceoftheSikhstudent.‘SomegoondasfromBhattiwereafterhissisters.Weescortedthem,andthewholefamily,toaconvoy.’
Slavesister,sittingonherlowstoolwithherpodgykneesspreadbeneathhersari,clucksmournfullyandshakesherhead.
‘It’stobeexpected,Isuppose,’saysGodmothersighing.
‘Prettygirls?’enquiresDrManekMody.‘Sikhgirlshavebeautifuleyes,’hestates,airinghiseye-fetish.
‘Ohyes!’saysCharlesChaudhrywithbatedbreath.‘Lighteyes.Hazel.Greenish…Youcangetlostinthem,man!’
AyahhelpsMiniAuntyservetea.
‘Youra-y-a-hhasthemostenormouseyesI’veeverseen,’saysthedoctortomeinEnglish.‘Gorgeous!Ravishing!’
PeoplespelloutthelettersthinkingAyahwillnotunderstandthealphabet.Thisoccurssofrequentlythatshe’dhavetobearealnitwitnottocatchon.
Ayah,awaresheisthestarattraction,rollsandslidesherthicklyfringedeyestoglamorouseffectasshepassesthetea.Shegoesinandfetchesaplateofalmondfudgeandsweetlentilladoos.
‘Lookout!There’saflyontheladoos,’saysDrMody.
Beingadoctorheismoreagitatedbythefly’spresencethanweare.
‘Areyoubotheredbysuchalittlefly?’saysAyah,peekingatthebalddoctorfromthecornersofherteasingeyes.‘Letitbe:itwillhardlyeatanything.’
DrModylooksather,surprised:tootakenabacktocomment.
Thenhespringsoutofhischairandfluttershissmallhandovertheladoos,saying:‘Shoo,shoo!’Thedisturbedflyliftssluggishlyandthedoctor,inaswiftbrownmovement,catchesitinhisfist.Hepuffsupandsurveysusasifhe’scaughtalion.
‘Welldone!’saysMiniAunty:everthesycophant.
‘Whydon’tyoueatit,’Itellhim.‘You’realwayshungry!’
DrModyslaughterstheflywithaloudclap.‘No,I’llsaveitforyou,’hesays,steppinguptomeandshovinghishandwiththedeadflytowardsmymouth.
IscreamandburymyfaceinGodmother’sblouse.Shefendshimoffwithonehandandholdsmeprotectivelywiththeother.Ifeelhermovementsasshechucklesandflays.
DrModysitsdownlaughing;andwhenIturntolookathimhemakesastraightfaceandpretendstoeatthefly.
‘You’reapig!’Isay.
Butoncelaunched,DrModycannotbedistractedlongfromhisfetish.Hepeersatmeacutely:Whydoyouhavesuchanunfortunatepairofeyes?’heenquires.‘You’reabitcross-eyed,aren’tyou?’
‘No.I’mnot!’Iprotestloudly.
‘Notcross-eyed,’saysSlavesister,andtreacherouslyadds,‘Sheonlysquints.’
‘No!’Ishout.‘Idon’t!’
‘Don’tshout,’saysmytraitorousaunt,coveringherears.‘We’renotdeaf.’
‘Idon’tunderstandit,’saysthespitefulcannibal.‘Yourmotherhassuchsweetchinkylittleeyes–suchapityherdaughter’seyesarelikethis.’Hecrosseshisindexfingers.
Iignorehim.
‘WhataboutyourRosy-Peter’sAmericanmother?Howisshe?’thedoctorsuddenlyasks.It’shardtokeeptrackofhisabruptshiftsinconversation.
‘Theyleftlongago,’Isay.Caughtoffguard,I’mcivil.
‘Anothersetofgreeneyesgone!’lamentsthedoctor,sadlyshakinghishead.‘I’dfollowthemtotheendsoftheearth!’
Ifonekeepshissingletrackinmindthedoctorisnotsohardtofollowafterall.Thewoolly,ruminativesilencethatsucceedsthedoctor’ssoulfulsighsisabruptlyshatteredbyOldhusband.
‘What’sallthisbusinessabouteyes!eyes!eyes!’heexplodes.‘Youcan’tpokethedamnthingintotheireyes!’
Slavesistergasps,shockedoutofherhostesssmile.Theboystittersheepishly.DrManekModylookscompletelyconfounded.
IhaveneverseenOldhusbandsoawesome–notevenwhenhethunderedLongfellowatme.
‘He’squiteright!’saysGodmother,standingbyhermatter-of-factspouse.
Oldhusbandhasbeenhauledthroughthebook,zombie-like,inhiscane-bottomedchair,white-stubbied,un-prepossessing…Hehasbeendragged,disgruntled,fromtheearliestpagestositmuteonthedrivewithGodmotherandSlavesisterwhiletheychatterandfightandclaphandsandsing:‘LameLenny!Threeforapenny!’Hehasbeencompelledtosnoreatourfeet–andtospoutverseandshufflehisfeet.Allsothathemayintheendconfoundthecarnivorousdoctorwithhistestyoutburst!
Nowthathe’shadhissay,hecanpeaceablypassaway…
Ofcourse,IonlyappreciatedwhatOldhusbandhadsaidyearslater.
Chapter22
Motherdevelopsabusyairofsecrecyandpreoccupationthatmakesherevenmoreremote.SheshootsoffintheMorris,afterFatherdrudgesoffonhisbicycle;andreturnslateintheafternoon–andscootsoutagain.Electric-auntoftenaccompaniesher,herthinlipscompressedindeterminedsilence,herefficienteyesconcentratedoninwardthoughts.
Ourbewilderedfacesagaingrowpaleaswepondertheirabsences.Weeatless.Wearefretful.
Theyaren’ttheleastbothered.
‘Whatcantheybeupto?’wondersCousinonawarmAprilafternoon,lyingfacedownonthecoolliving-roomflooroftheSinghs’emptyrooms.
‘Whydon’ttheytakeus?’Isay,hurtatbeingdeprivedofdriveswhilemymotherandmyauntgallivantGodknowswhere.
‘Iknowwheretheygo.Iknoweverything,’saysAdi,withatransparencethatconvincesusheknowsabsolutelynothing.
Ayah,almostasmystifiedasus,volunteersanintriguingbitofinformation.‘Getalookinthecar’sdickysometime.’
‘Why?’Idemand,surprised.
‘Becauseitisfullofpetrolcans!’sheconfides.Andonthisdramaticnoteattemptstoslipaway.
ButCousingrabstheendofhersari.AndIjumpuptoblockherexit.Andasshetriestoescape,thesariunravels.Giggling,turninggiddilyontheballsofherfeetlikeagaudytop,shewrapsherselfbackinandbouncesdownamongus.‘Toba,toba!’shesays,andtouchingthetipsofherearsinquicksuccessionsaying,‘I’veneverseensuchbadmashchildren!Who’sgoingtoironyourmother’ssari?You?’
MotherandFatheraregoingouttodinnerlater.Fourhourslater!Thesaricanwait.Mattersofmoremoment–likethedickyfulofpetrol–havetobeconsideredfirst.
Thecardickyisalwayslocked.IacceptAyah’sstatementonfaith,butCousinissuspicious.‘Howdoyouknowaboutthepetrol?’heasks,permittingmistrusttoshadehisvoice.
‘Iknow!’saysAyah,buttoningup.
Cousincanbesillysometimes.Hereweare,onthebrinkofarevelation,andheinsultsAyah.
‘IfAyahsaysthereispetrolinthecar’sdicky,thereispetrolinthecar’sdicky!’Isay.
AdiholdsAyahbyherearsand,shakingherheadlikeacoconut,says:‘Comeon,tellmore.Please,please!’
‘Wewon’ttellanybody.Iswear!’Isay.Andtoestablishfaith,pinchtheskinonmythroat.
‘IswearIwon’teither!Youknowyoucantrustme,’saysmymistrustfulCousin,adequatelyhumbledandathismostadultandcharming.HetoopinchestheskinonhisAdam’sapple,andonhiskneesmovesclosertoAyah.
Ayahturnsherheadthiswayandthatandrollshereyesabouttheroom.Cousinquicklygetsupandpeersintotheotheruninhabitedroomsoftheannexetomakesuretherearenoeavesdroppers.
WhenCousinreturns,Ayahsays:‘IfyourmothersgettoknowItoldyouthis…HareKrishna!They’llkillme!’
Againwetakeanoathofsilence,andfurtherreassureherbyoursolemnfaces.
‘Lookintothegodownnexttomyquarterssometime,’shesays.‘It’sfullofgallonsandgallonsofpetrol!’
Wearestupefied.Petrolisrationed.Itisanoffencetostoreit.
‘Yourmotherbringsthecansinthecar,’shesays,guiltilyremovinghereyesfrommine,‘andtakesthemoutagain!Ihelphercarrythemin…andIhelphercarrythemout!’
‘Doesn’tanyoneelseknowaboutit?’enquiresmystupefied,mystifiedandcircumspectCousin.
‘Onlyyourmothers,’saysAyah.‘Wedotheloadingandtheunloadingwheneveryone’sasleep.Wecoverthecanswithsheetsandtable-cloths.’
Iamsoshockedthatmyjawdrops.IlookatAdiandCousin.They,too,havebeenstruckbysimilarthoughts.Theireyesarecrossedindismayandtheirjaws,too,areunhinged.
‘Whatareyougapinglikethatfor?Closeyourmouths!’saysAyahsharply–lookingbewildered–sensingthatweareincriminatingourmothers.‘Iftheydosomethingwedon’tunderstand,theyhaveagoodreasonforit!’
I’mastonishedshehasnotcaughton.Weclamourmouthsshut.
Wenowknowwhothearsonistsare.OurmothersaresettingfiretoLahore!
Backandforth,backandforth,goourmothersontheirsecretmissions,carryingtheirsinisterfreightinthedickyofourMorrisMinor.Andthemoretheyabsentthemselves,thehigherrisetheflamesinthewalledcity,andalloverLahore–andthequickertheyreturn,thecloserswirltheangrybillowsofsootysmoke.
Andbyoursilencewecommitourselvestocomplicity.We’resureFatherknows.WhyelsewouldheleavetheMorrisforMother?
Myheartpoundsatthedamnationthatawaitstheirsouls.Mykneesquakeatthehorroroftheirimminentarrest.InominousdreamstheyparadeWarrisRoad.Inhighheels:inchiffonsaris:escortedbysoldiers:insinglefile:handcuffed,legcuffed,clankingchains…TheirmournfuleyesseekingusastheyaremarchedintoBirdwoodBarracks.
Forthefirsttime,unbidden,IcovermyheadwithascarfandinsecludedcornersjoinmyhandstotaketheIOInamesofGod.TheBountiful.TheInnocent.TheForgiverofSin.TheFulfillerofDesire.HewhocanturnAirintoAshes:FireintoWater:DustintoGems!TheangleofthewallsdeflectstheancientwordsofthedeadAvastanlanguageandtheprayerresoundssoothinglyinmyears.OftenInoticeCousinwithhisskull-caponhisheadlurkinginlockedbathroomsandIfeelmyconcernisshared.AndatnightwhenAdiwhipsthedarknesswithhiskusti,ashegoesthroughtheritualofthesacredthread,Iknowwhatevilhepraystobanishfromourmotherandaunt’sthoughts.
AttheendofthemonthwhenAyahconductsherbi-yearlysearchfornitsonourheads,shediscoverswehaveeachsprungonewhitehair!
I’msurprisedourhairhasn’tallturnedwhite.
***
HimatAliholdsmyschoolsatchel,andIholdhisfinger,aswewalkdownWarrisRoadtoMrsPen’s.
AttheSalvationArmywallItugonHari-alias-Himat-Ali’sfingertocrosstheroad.Ihavebecomeincreasinglyfearfulofthetallbrickwallwithitswire-veinedeyes.Todaytheslitventsemanateasteelyreekthatsetsmyteethonedge–andfillsmewithasuperstitiousdread.
HimatAli,too,isuneasy.Hepullsbacksaying:‘Stayhere.Thereissomethingontheotherside.’
Butmyfearofthewallandmycongenitalcuriosityprevail.Itisonlyabulginggunny-sack.Wecrosstheroad.
Theswollengunny-sackliesdirectlyinourpath.Haripushesitwithhisfoot.ThesackslowlytopplesoverandMasseurspillsout–halfonthedustysidewalk,halfonthegrittytarmac–dispellingthestilettoreekofviolencewiththesmelloffreshroses.
Hewaslyingononeside,theupperpartofhisvelvetbodybare,abrownandwhitecheckedlungiknottedonhiships,andhisfeetinthesack.IneverknewMasseurwassofairinside,creamy,andhisarmssmoothanddistendedwithmusclesandhisforearmslinedwithpalebrownhair.Awidewedgeoffleshwasneatlyhackedtofurthertrimhisslenderwaist,andhisspine,inavelvettrough,dippedintohislungi.
TheminuteItouchedhisshoulder,thinkinghemightopenhiseyes,Iknewhewasdead.Buttherewastoomuchvigourabouthimstill…andhisknowingtaperingfingerswiththeirwhitecrescentsandtrimmednailsappearedpliantandreadytoasserttheirconsummateskill.
HimatAli,trembling,suddenlybucklesandsquatsbyMasseurasifsettlingtoalongvigilbyasickfriend.Heremoveshispuggaree,revealinghisshavenbodhi-lesshead,andplacingitonhiskneewipesasmudgeofdustfromMasseur’sshoulder.
‘Oye,pahialwan.Oye,myfriend,’hewhispers.‘Whathavetheydonetoyou?’AndhestrokesMasseur’sarmwithhistremblinghandasifheismassagingMasseur.
Facesbobaroundusnow.Someconcerned,somecurious.ButtheylookatMasseurasifheisnotaperson.
Heisn’t.Hehasbeenreducedtoabody.Athing.Onesideofhishandsomefacealreadyburiedinthedustysidewalk.
Chapter23
BeadonRoad,bereftofthecolourfulturbans,hairybodies,yellowshorts,tightpyjamas,andglitteringreligiousarsenaloftheSikhs,lookslikeanyotherpopulousstreet.Lahoreissuddenlyemptiedofyetanotherhoarydimension:therearenoBrahminswithcaste-marks–orHindusindhotieswithbodhis.OnlyhordesofMuslimrefugees.
EverybitofscrapthatcanbeusedhasbeensalvagedfromtheguttedshopsandtenementsofShalmiandGowalmandi.ThepalatialbungalowsofHindusinModelTownandtheotheraffluentneighbourhoodshavebeenthoroughlyscavenged.Thefirstwaveoflooters,inmobsandprocessions,hascarriedawayfurniture,carpets,utensils,mattresses,clothes.Succeedingwavesofmarauders,ridinginricketycarts,havesystematicallystrippedthehousesofdoors,windows,bathroomfittings,ceilingfansandrafters.Casualpassers-by,urchinsanddogsnowstrayintothehousestoscavengeamidstspiders’websanddeeplayersofdust,hopingtopickupoldnewspapersandcardboardboxes,oranyotherleavingsthathaveescapedtheeyeanddesireoftheprecedingwaveofgoondas.
InRosy-Peter’scompound,andinthegauntlootedhousesoppositeours,untendedgardeniahedgessprawlgrotesquelyandthelawnsandflowerbedsareoverrunwithweeds.Therearepatchesofparchedcrackedclayinwhichnothinggrows.Eventhemangoandbanyantreeslookmonstrous,stalkingtheunkemptpremiseswiththeirshadows.
WestillwanderthroughtheSinghs’annexebutthemainbungalow,theHindudoctor’sabandonedhousebehindtheirs,andparalleltoours,showssurreptitioussignsofoccupation.Awindowboardedwithnewspaper,atatteredcurtain,ashadowofsomeonepassingandthemurmurofstrangers’voiceskeepusaway.
Monthspassbeforeweseeournewneighbours.Frightened,dispossessed,theyarecopingwithgriefoverdeadkinandkidnappedwomenfolk.Gratefulfortheroofovertheirheadsandtheshelterofwalls,ourneighboursdwellinshadowedinteriors,quietlygoingaboutthebusinessofsurviving,terrifiedofbeingagainevicted.
Rosy-Peter’shouseandthehouseoppositestillremainunoccupied.Thesearetobeallottedtorefugeeswhocanprovetheyhaveleftequallyvaluablepropertiesbehind.
Itisastonishinghowrapidlyanuninhabitedhousedecays.TherearecracksinthecementflooroftheSinghs’annexeandbigpatchesofdamponthewalls.Cloudsofmosquitoes
riseindarkcornersandlizardscleavetotheceilings.Itlookslikeahousepiningforitsdeparted–haunted–likeAyah’seyesarebymemoriesofMasseur.Shesecretlycries.OftenIcatchherwipingtears.
Theglossychocolatebloominherskinislosingitssheen.
***
Ayahhasstoppedreceivingvisitors.HerclosestfriendshavefledLahore.Shetrustsnoone.AndMasseur’sdeathhasleftinherthegreatemptyacheIknowsometimeswhenthemusclesofmystomachretractaroundhungryspaceswithinme…butIknowthereisanaddeddimensiontoherlossIcannotcomprehend.Iknowatleastthatmyloverlivessomewhereinthedistantandpossiblefuture:Ihavehope.
ShehauntsthecypressesandmarbleterracesoftheShalimarGardens.SheclimbstheslenderminaretsofJehangir’stomb.Wewanderpastthezoolion’scageandpastthechatteringmonkeysandstandbeforethepeacock’sfeatheryspread.WesitamongtherushesonthebanksoftheRaviandfloatintheflatboatsonitsmuddywaters…AndasMasseur’ssong,lingeringintherarefiedairaroundtheminaretsandinthefragranceofgardens,driftstousintherustleofthepampasgrass,Ayahshiversandwhisperingcroons:
‘Thebumble-beecame–
Struttingamongtheflowers,strumminglove…’
Andholdingtheendofhersariinherhandslikeasupplicant,sheburiesherunbearableacheinherhands.Istrokeherhair.Ikissherears,feelingmyinadequacy.
WhileMasseur’svoicehauntsAyah,itimpelsIce-candy-mantoclimbthesteepstepsoftheminaretsafterus.Heprowlsthehillsbehindthezoolion’scageandlurksinthetallpampasgrass.Hefollowsuseverywhereaswewalk,handinhand,twohungrywombs…Impotentmothersundertheskin.
***
Mother’sjauntsintheMorrisarebecominglessfrequent,andfiresalloverLahorearesubsiding.Orhavingbecomesomuchapartofthesmokingskylinetheynolongerclaimourattention.
Doesonegetusedtoeverything?Anything?
Processionsstillchantfromvariousdistancesandvaryingdirections,buttheyhavelosttheirurgency:soundingmorelikethecriesofmerchantshawkingwares.Closer,weheartherumbleofcartsashorsescanterdownQueensRoadtoMozangChungi,accompaniedbyrecedingcriesof‘Allah-o-Akbar!’and‘PakistanZindabad!’
Weshrug.Theyprobablyhavewindofsomeabandonedhousethathasnotbeenproperlyransacked.Thesemerchant-lootershavebypassedourstreetforsometime.
AndthenonemorningweagainheartherumbleofcartsandtheroarofmenshoutingslogansonWarrisRoad.
FromtheveryfirstinstantIsensedanger:wealldo.Perhapsitisthespeedoftheirapproach:perhapstheaimoftheirintentbuffetingusinthreateningwaves.Thereisaheighteninginthenoiseandashiftintheclatterofhorseshoesonthetarmac:aslowingthatdefinestheirtarget.Itiseitherthehouseinfrontofours,orours.Thehouseopposite,withgapingholeswhereoncethereweredoorsandwindows,hasnothinglefttoloot.
MothercomesoutandjoinsAyah,Adiandmeontheveranda.Theinhabitantsoftheservants’quartersruntothefrontandgatherbeforethekitchenandinthevacantportico.FatherhastakentheMorristowork.Apparentlyunperturbed,ImamDinbeatseggsinthekitchen.
Mother,voluptuousinabeigechiffonsari,isalert.Incharge.Alionesswithhercubs.Ayah,withherhaunted,nervouseyes,islionessnumbertwo.OurprideontheverandaswellsasMoti’swifeandfivechildrenjoinus.
Thereisastampingandsnortingofhorsesandscrapingofwoodenwheelsontheroadasthecart-cavalrycomestoadisorderlyhaltoutsideourgate.Weseethecartsmillingaboutinthedusttheyhaveraised,themenstandinginthem.Wehearthemaskingquestions;debating;shoutingtobeheardabovethenoise.
And,suddenly,themenroaragain:‘Allah-o-Akbar!’Andrideintothehouseoppositeours.
Ayahisnotontheveranda.Shehasdisappeared.
‘Where’sAyah?’Iask.I’mhushedbyahissofwhispers.Mothercommunicatesaquick,secretwarningthatisreflectedonallfaces.AyahisHindu.Thesituationwithallitsimplicationsisclear.Shemusthide.Weallhaveaparttoplay.Myintelligenceandcomplicityaretakenforgranted.
Thentheyareroaringandchargingupourdrive,wheelscreaking,hoovesclatteringasthewhippedhorsesstretchtheirscabbynecksandknottedhockstohaultheloadfortheshortgallop.Upthedrivecomethecharioteers,feetplantedfirmlyinshallowcarts,insingletsandclinginglinenlungis,shouldersgleaminginthebrightsun.Calculatingmen,whoseidealsandpassionshavecooledtoice.
Theypourintoourdriveinanendlesscavalryandthelootersjumpoffinfrontofthekitchenasthecartsmakeroomformorecartsandtheporticoanddrivearefilledwithmenandhorses;someofthehorses’nosesalreadyinthefeedbagsaroundtheirnecks.Themeninfrontarequiet–likemerchantsgoingabouttheirbusiness–butthosestalledinthechokeddriveandontheroadchantperfunctorily.
Themen’seyes,linedwithblackantimony,rakeus.Notethedoorsbehindusandassessthewell-tendedpremiseswithitssurfeitofpotsholdingfernsandpalmfronds.A
hesitancysparksintheirbrasheyeswhentheylookatourmother.Flankedbyhercubs,herhandsrestingonourheads,sheisthenobleembodimentoftheatricalmotherhood.Undaunted.Endearing.Hercut–crystallipssetinadefiantpuckerbeneathhertintedglassesandhercropped,wavedhair.
MengatherroundYousafandHariaskingquestions,peeringhereandthere.PapooandI,holdinghands,stepdownintotheporch.Motherdoesn’tstopus.
Stillbeatingeggs,aluminiumbowlinhand,ImamDinsuddenlyfillstheopenkitchendoorway.Hebellows:‘Whatd’youharamzadasthinkyou’reupto?’Thereisalullintheprocessionists’clamour.Eventhemenontheroadhearhimandsuspendtheirdesultorychanting.ThedoorsnapsshutandImamDinstandsonthekitchenstepslookingbomb-belliedandmagnificentlygoondaish–thegrandfatherofallthegoondasmillingaboutus–withhisshavenhead,hennaedbeardandgrimylungi.
‘WherearetheHindus?’amanshouts.
‘TherearenoHindushere!Younimak-haramdogs’penises…TherearenoHindushere!’
‘ThereareHinduname-platesonthegates…ShankarandSethi!’
‘TheShankarstookofflongago…TheywereHindu.TheSethisareParsee.Iservethem.SethiisaParseenametoo,youignorantbastards!’
ThemenlookdisappointedandsheddingalittleoftheirsuretyandarrogancelookatImamDinasatanelder.ImamDin’smannerchanges.Hedescendsamongthem,bowlandforkinhand,aMussulmanamongMuslims.ImamDin’svoiceislow,conversational.Hegoesintothekitchenandbringsoutalargepanofwaterwithice-cubesfloatinginit.HeandYousafhandoutthewaterinfrostedaluminiumglasses.
‘Where’sHari,thegardener?’someonefromthebackshouts.
‘Hari-the-gardenerhasbecomeHimatAli!’saysImamDin,roaringgeniallyandglancingatthegardener.
HimatAli’sresigned,duskyfacebeginstotwitchnervouslyassomemenmovetowards,him.
‘Let’smakesure,’amansays,hitchinguphislungi,hisswaggeringgaitbentonmischief.‘Undoyourshalwar,HimatAli.Let’sseeifyou’reaproperMuslim.’Heisyoungandveryhandsome.
‘He’sRamzana-the-butcher’sbrother,’saysPapoo,nudgingmeexcitedly.
Inoticetheresemblancetothebutcher.Andthenthemenarenolongerjustfragmentedpartsofaprocession:theybecomeindividualpersonalitieswhosefacesIstudy,seekingfriends.
ImamDinisstandinginfrontofthegardener,hisarmsoutstretched.‘Getaway!Ivouchforhim.Whydon’tyouaskthebarber?Hecircumcisedhim.’
SomeoneyellsinloudPunjabi:‘Oyay,nai!Didyoucircumcisethegardenerhere?’
Fromoutontheroad,transmittedbyachainofraucousvoices,comesthereply:‘Ididagoodjobonhim…I’llvouchforHimatAli!’
Thehandsomeyouth,cheatedoutofhisbitoffun,triestolungepastImamDin.
‘TellhimtorecitetheKalma,’someoneshouts.
‘Oye!You!RecitetheKalma,’saystheyouth.
‘LaIlahaIllallah,MohammadurRasulullah.’(ThereisnoGodbutGod,andMohammadisHisprophet.)Astonishingly,HimatAliinjectsintotheArabicversethecadenceandintonationofHinduchants.
Themenletitpass.
‘Whereisthesweeper?Where’sMoti?’shoutsahoarsePunjabivoice.ItsoundsfamiliarbutIcan’tplaceit.
‘He’shere,’saysYousaf,puttinganarmroundMoti.‘He’sbecomeabeliever…AChristian.Behold…MisterDavidMasih!’
Themensmileandjoke:‘Oho!He’sbecomeablack-facedgen-tle-man!MistersweeperDavidMasih!Nexthe’llbesailingofftoEng-a-landandmarryingamemsahib!’
Andthensomeoneasks,‘Where’stheHinduwoman?Theayah!’
Thereisasplit-second’ssilencebeforeImamDin’sreassur-ingvoicecalmlysays;‘She’sgone.’
‘She’sgonenowhere!Whereisshe?’
‘Itoldyou.SheleftLahore.’
‘When?’
‘Yesterday.’
‘He’slying,’saysthefamiliarvoiceagain.‘Oye,ImamDin,whyareyoulying?’
Irecognisethevoice.ItisButcher.
‘Oye,BarayMian!Don’tdisgraceyourvenerablebeard!’
‘Forshame,oldman!AndyousoclosetomeetingyourMaker!’
‘Lyingdoesnotbecomeyouryears,youoldgoat.’
Theraucousvoicesareturningugly.
‘CalluponAllahtowitnessyouroath,’someonesays.
‘Oye!Badmash!Don’ttakeAllah’sname!Youdefileitwithyourtongue!’saysImamDinlosinghisgeniality.
‘Ha!Soyouwon’ttakeanoathbeforeAllah!You’reablack-facedliar!’
‘Mindyourtongue,youdog!’shoutsImamDin.
Othervoicesjoinintheattackand,suddenly,veryclearly,Ihearhimsay:‘Allah-ki-kasam,she’sgone.’
Istudythemen’sfacesinthesilencethatfollows.Someofthemstilldon’tbelievehim.Someturnaway,orlookattheground.ItisanoathaMuslimwillnottakelightly.
Somethingstrangehappenedthen.Thewholedisorderlymêléedissolvedandconsolidatedintoasingleface.Theface,amber-eyed,spreadbeforeme:hypnotic,reassuring,blottingouttheuglyfrighteningcrowd.Ice-candy-man’sversatilefacetransformedintoasaviour’sinourhourofneed.
Ice-candy-maniscrouchedbeforeme.‘Don’tbescared,Lennybaby,’hesays.‘I’mhere.’Andputtinghisarmsaroundmehewhispers,sothatonlyIcanhear:‘I’llprotectAyahwithmylife!YouknowIwill…Iknowshe’shere.Whereisshe?’
AnddredgingfromsomefoultruthfuldepthinmeafragmentofoverheardconversationthatIhadnotregisteredatthetime,Isay:‘Ontheroof–orinoneofthegodowns…’
Ice-candy-man’sfaceundergoesasubtlechangebeforemyeyes,andasheslowlyuncoilshislankframeintoanuprightposition,IknowIhavebetrayedAyah.
Thenewsisswiftlytransmitted.InadazeIseeMotherapproach,herfacestricken.AdiandPapoolookatmeoutofstunnedfaces.Thereisnojudgementintheireyes–noreproach–onlystone-facedincredulity.
ImamDinandYousafaretakingsmallstepsback,theirarmsspread,asthreementrytopushpast.‘Where’reyougoing?Youcan’tgototheback!Ourwomenarethere,theyobservepurdah!’saysImamDin,againfutilelylying.Themenarenotaggressive,theirgameisathand.Itisonlyamatterofminutes.AndwhilethethreemeninsouciantlyconfrontImamDinandYousaf,othermen,eyesaverted,slippastthem.
IcannotseeButcher.Ice-candy-mantoohasdisappeared.
‘No!’Iscream.‘She’sgonetoAmritsar!’
ItrytorunafterthembutMotherholdsme.Ibuttmyheadintoher,bouncingitoffherstomach,andeverytimeIthrowmyheadback,IseeAdiandPapoo’sstunnedfaces.
ThethreemenshovepastImamDinandsomethingabouttheirinsolentanddeterminedmovementsaffectstheproprietiesthathaverestrainedthemobsofar.
Theymoveforwardfromallpoints.Theyswarmintoourbedrooms,searchtheservants’quarters,climbtotheroofs,breaklocksandenterourgodownsandthesmallstore-roomsnearthebathrooms.
TheydragAyahout.Theydragherbyherarmsstretchedtaut,andherbarefeet–thatwanttomovebackwards–areforcedforwardinstead.Herlipsaredrawnawayfromherteeth,andtheresistingcurveofherthroatopenshermouthlikethedeadchild’sscreamlessmouth.Hervioletsarislipsoffhershoulder,andherbreastsstrainathersari-blousestretchingtheclothsothatthewhitestitchingattheseamsshows.Asleevetearsunderherarm.
Themendragheringrotesquestridestothecartandtheirharshhands,supportingherwithcarelessintimacy,liftherintoit.Fourmenstandpressedagainsther,proppingherbodyupright,theirlipsstretchedintriumphantgrimaces.
Iamthemonkey-man’sperformingmonkey,thetrainedcircuselephant,thesnake-man’scharmedcobra,ananimalwithconditionedreflexesthatcannotlie…
ThelastthingInoticedwasAyah,hermouthslackandpiteouslygaping,herdishevelledhairflyingintoherkidnappers’faces,staringatusasifshewantedtoleavebehindherwide-openandterrifiedeyes.
Chapter24
Theeveningsresoundtothebeatofdrums.Papooisgettingmarried.Inthewakeofmyguilt-drivenandflagellatinggriefandpiningforAyahthedrumssoundmournful,andthepreparationsfortheweddingjoyless.
ForthreedaysIstandinfrontofthebathroommirrorstaringatmytongue.Iholdthevile,truth-infectedthingbetweenmyfingersandtrytowrenchitout:butslipperyandslickasafishitslipsfrommyfingersandmocksmewithitssharprapiertipdartingaspoisonousasasnake.Ipunishitwithrigorousscouringsfrommypricklingtoothbrushuntilitissoreandbleeding.I’msoconsciousofitsunwelcomepresenceatalltimesthatitswellsun-comfortablyinmymouthandgagsandchokesme.
Ithrowup.Constantly.
Forthreedays,asIscourmytongue,familiesofsweepers,huddledinbunches,ingaudysatinsandbrocades,driftupourdrive,andpastthebathroomwindow.Thewomenshadetheirduskyfacesbeneathdiaphanousshawlswithsilverfringes,theirglassbanglesandsilverankletsjinglingastheyshuffletheirfeet,themenstruttingamidstthemlikecocksintall,crisplycrestedturbans.
Attheback,ontheservants’verandas,twooldcroneswithmissingteethtaketurnsbeatingasausage-shapeddrumwithbothhandsanddroningribaldditties.Papoo,cowedbyalltheunwontedattention,sitsgloweringinacorneroftheirquarterslikeapunishedchild,herskinglowingfrommustard-oilmassagesandapplicationsofturmericandMultanimud-packs.Sometimes,whenIsitlistlesslybyherholdingherhand,smilingpolitelyattheremarksandwisecracksofthewomen,drawingcouragefrommyfingersPapoo’seyesregaintheirroguishsparkleandshesnapsandlungesatthewomen,andflingingherselfonthedirtfloorenactstemptestuoustantrumsofprotestation.Infuriatedbyherdaughter’sintractablebehaviourbeforeherkinswomenMuccholashesoutandiswithdrawncursing,whiletheremainingwomen,wheedling,cajolingandbribingPapoowithsweets,restorehertoaprecarioussemblanceofdocility.
Ayahlessandsore-tonguedIdriftthroughtheforlornroomsofmyhouse,andbackandforthfromthefestivequarters.Thekitchenhasbecomeadepressinghell-holefilledwithsighsasImamDingoesabouthisworkspirit-lessly.EvenYousafcrackshissmileslessfrequently.Motherisoutallday.AndwhensheishomeshehassuchaforbiddingexpressiononherexhaustedfacethatAdiandIelecttokeepoutofherway.
WithnoonetoawakenmeIsleeplateonthemorningofPapoo’swedding.ItisSaturday:exactlyaweekfromthedayAyahwascarriedoff.Aditugsmytoesoithurtsandsays:‘Aren’tyougettingup?Theguestshavecome…thebridegroom’sbaraatwillbeheresoon!’
Iquicklyslipintoastifflystarchedandfrothyfrockandputonmywhitesocksandbuckledshoesandruntotheback.
Thecaterershavealreadylitlogfiresbeneathtwoenormouscauldronsandthesultryairispermeatedbythearomaofbiryaniandspicygoatkorma.Iweavethroughthemaleguestssquattinglikepatientsheepoutsidethescantlemonhedgethatdemarcatestheservants’courtyard.Theyarditselfisthrongedbywomeninbrightsatinsedgedwithgoldandsilvergota.Thecrowdisthickoutsidethesweeper’squartersandIhavetosqueezemywaythroughtheknotofwomenatthedoor.Butevenaftermyeyesgetaccustomedtothedingylightinthesmall,squaredung-plasteredroomittakesmeawhiletorealisethatthecrumpledheapofscarletandgoldclothesflungcarelesslyinacornerisreallyPapoo.Isquatbyher,smilingandawkward,and,liftingherghoongat,peerintoherface.Shehasanenviablequantityofmake-upon.Shocking-pinklipstick,whitepowder,smudgedkohl:andsheisfastasleep.
Thereisastiramongtheseatedwomenandasuddenairofexcitement.Someoneoutsideshouts:‘TotaRam’sbaraathascome!’
IshakePapoo:‘Wakeup…Comeon!’Papoositsup,shovingherghoongatbackdrowsily,andlooksatmewithastrangecock-eyedgrin,asifsheisdrunk.
Irunoutwiththerestoftheimmediatekintoreceivethebaraatjustasthebridegroom’spartyentersourgatesandthesix-manband,infadedreduniformswithtarnishedgoldbraid,burstsintobrassyclamour.Iglimpsetheshortbridegroombehindthemusicians,bobbingamongthemenintheentourage.Thewomen,someonfoot,somecrammedintotongaswiththeirbabies,follow.Thegroomiswearingapurplesatinlungiandalong,whitelygleamingsatinshirt.Hischestisbristlingwithgarlandscentredwithgold-beribbonedcardboardheartsandstrungwithcrisp,newone-rupeenotesandflowers.Hisheadiscoveredbyathickwhiteturbanwithagoldkulahandbeneathithangsthesehra,veilinghisfacewithchainsofmarigolds.Judgingbyhisheight,TotaRammustbePapoo’sage–aboutelevenortwelve.Iamconfused.ThedistraughtwayMucchocarriedonwhenPapoowasoffherfeedledmetobelievethatTotaRamwasanimportant,frighteningandgrownman.
ThegroomisledintoHari’squarters,whichhavebeenclearedoftheirmeagrebelongingstoreceivehim.Nowthecuriouswomensurgetoseethedoolha.Ifightmywayinwiththem.Heissittingstraightonahigh-backedchair,hislegsdanglingbrand-newtwo-toneshoes.
Somethingabouthisgesturesdisturbsme:thewayheshiftsinthechair,themannerinwhichheinsertshishandbehindtheticklingflowerstoscratchhisnose.Hesneezes–anunexpectedlyviolentsound–and,snortingwetly,clearshisthroat.ForamomentIwonderifsomeoneolderisresponsibleforthesounds.Theydon’tbelongbehindthesehra.Againthebridegroomsneezes:somightilythatthesehraswingsout.ThenhepartsthecurtainofflowershangingfromhisheadandIseehisface!
Heisnoboy!Heisadark,middle-agedmanwithapockmark-pittedfaceandsmall,brash,kohl-blackenedeyes.Hehasaninsouciantairofinsolenceabouthim–asthoughitisallatediousbusinesshehasbeenthroughbefore.Icannottakemyeyesoffhimashescrutinisesthewomenwithassertive,assessingdirectness.Thereisaslightcastintheclosesetofhiseyes,andthesmirklurkingabouthisthin,drylipsgivesanimpressionofcruelty.Thewomenintheroombecomehushed.Heshiftshisinsolenteyestotheceiling,asifpermittingthewomentogapeuponhisunsavouryperson,andthenlowershissehra.
Aftertheinitialshock,twoorthreeolderwomenfromPapoo’sfamilypullthemselvestogetherandmoveforwardtogreetandblesshimasisrituallyrequired.Theelderlyandcynicaldwarfpermitstheirembracesandthensitsback,hisspreadlegsswingingcarelessly,andthewomen,someofthemtitteringinashockedwaybehindthefingersscreeningtheirmouths,resumetheirchattering.Iremainrootedtothedirtfloor,unabletoremovemyeyesfromhim,imaginingtheshock,andthegrotesquepossibilitiesawaitingPapoo.
***
Isitquietlybesidethebride.Thewomenfromthegroom’sfamilyliftherghoongatandcommentindulgentlyontheinnocencethatpermitsthechild-bridetosleepthroughhermarriage.Bendingfrequently,steppingoverthesatinyspreadoflegsandthighsofabouttwentywomenjammedtogetheronthefloor,theyexhibitanimpressivedisplayoftheclothesandthetawdryjewellerytheyhavebroughtforthebrideandhermother.
Alittleafternoontwoenormousroundcopperplatters,heapedwithfragrantpilafandgoatcurry,arebroughtintotheroom.Thewomengatheraroundthemandsilentlyfalltoeating.Thecaterersprovideaseparatechinaplateforthebride.Mucchoshakesherdaughterawake,urging:‘Come,doll,situpandeat,doll.’IstudyMuccho’sfacéwithcuriouseyes.Thereisacontentedsmileonherlips–smugandvindicated.
AsPapoostrugglesgroggilytositup,hereyesswivelweaklyunderherhalf-openlids.Mucchoshakesherroughlyagain,andformingsmallmorselsofricewithherfingers,strokingPapoo’sback,feedsher.Papoochewsslowly,absently,herchildish,lipstickedmouthslack.‘Oi,dopey.Ufeemi!Wakeup!’saysMucchoaffectionately.Andthoughthetoneofvoicecallingheranopium-addictisdisarminglyfacetious,itsuddenlystrikesmethatPapoohasinfactbeendrugged.Ihaveseenenoughopiumaddictstorealisethis.MrBankwalla’sandCol.Bharucha’scooksarebothaddicted.
Towardseveningthedoolhaisbroughtintotheroomandmadetositbyhiscomatosebride.Hekeepshisfacecoveredbythesehra,butbythewayhisheadshiftsIcantellheisslylyoglingmeandtheyoungwomenmovingabouttheroom.
LaterintheafternoontheMissionpadrestandsinthedoorinhislongblackcassockwithahigh,whitecollar.Hisheavylaced-upbootsappearincongruouswithhisflowinggarments.Hishairiscroppedveryshortandhehasawell-bredandtimidexpressiononhishumbleface.Iwonderifheisthepadrewhosewifeabscondedwiththeseductivetailor.
Thewomenhugtheirkneesandshufflebacktomakeroomforhispassageasthepadre,accustominghiseyestothedark,stepshesitantlyintoMoti’squarters.Holdinghisgilt-edgedBibleandrosarydeferentiallyhemakesthesignofthecrossandsquatsbeforethecouple.PapooisshakenawakeandsurreptitiouslyproppedupbyMucchoasthepadrerecitestheChristianmarriagelitanyinPunjabi.
Chapter25
Therearemysteriousdevelopmentsafootintheservants’quartersbehindtheHindudoctor’shouseparallelingours.ThecourtyardhasbeenwalledoffandaverytallandburlySikhwithcurlinghaironhislegsstandsguardoutsideahigh,tin-sheetgate,criss-crossedwithwoodenbeams.Thereisapadlockthesizeofagrapefruitonthegate,andalargekeyhangsfromthesteelbanglearoundtheSikh’swrist.Heunlocksthegatesometimestopassthewomeninsidesacksofgrainandbasketsofvegetables.
Theservantsevadequestionsasifthereissomethingshamefulgoingon.Cousin,AdiandIareagog.AndonaSundayafternoon–itisalreadyOctober–wesneakupthestairsand,mindingtheholesintheroof,tiptoetolookintotheenclosedcourtyard.Ourservants’quarters’roofrunsinacontinuouslineofclaytotheirroof,demarcatedonlybyafoot-highbrickwall.
Weassumeit’sawomen’sjail,eventhoughtheylookinnocentenough–villagewomenwashingclothes,crossingthecourtyardwithwatercanisters,chaffingwheatanddryingrawmangoesforpickling.Thereisverylittlechatteramongthewomen.Justapatheticmovementstoandfro.
TheSikhguardsquatsinfrontofasmallwatertankinhiswhitecottondrawers,scouringhisteethwithawalnuttwig.Hemusthavejustwashedhishairbecauseitisflungroundhisnecklikeacoarsescarftokeepitfromtrailinginthemud.
Theguardspotsusontheroofandglowersferociously.Ashestandsuphishairuncoilsandhangsdownalmosttohisknees.Wescamperfromhisviewlikescaredspiders,carefulnottofallthroughtheholeswherethemudhasgivenwaybetweenthedecayingrafters.
Afterawhile,takingcaretotreadquietlyandnotdaringtotalk,wepeerbetweentheraftersintothedim,smoke-filledcubicles.Ifeelanervous,nauseousthrill,asImakeoutthedarkshapesofwomeninshalwar-kamizesmovinglethargicallybetweentheircots.Inoneofthecubiclesathinlongfacelooksupunseeingthroughtheveilofsmokeandtheeeriedesolationofthatpallidfaceremainsstampedonmymind.
***
TheHindudoctor’shousesounobtrusivelyoccupiedbyournewrefugeeneighbourssprawlsinanungainlyoblongblockbetweenthewomen’sjailandRosy-Peter’sannexe.
Itscementplastershowsbeneathscabsofpeelingwhitewash.Idon’tknowhowmanypeopledwellintheabandonedbungalow,butthenumberofitsoccupantsappearstobeincreasing.Thereismoremovementbehindthewindowsboardedupwithcardboardandnewspaper,agreaterfrequencyandlaxityinthesuddenshoutingandsubduedchatter.
Westilldon’tknowanythingaboutthem.Whotheyare,wherethey’refrom.Theykeeptothemselves,unobtrusivelyconductingtheirlives,lurkinglikenightanimalsinthetwilightinteriorsoftheirlairs,stillafraidofbeingevictedfrompropertytheyhavesomehowmanagedtooccupy.
***
Thewomanispullingafadedkamizethatistooshortforheroverawash-greyedshalwar.HerheadiscoveredbyafrayedvoilechuddarandsheisstandingbeforeMother,awkwardanduncomfortablytall.IrecogniseherthemomentIseeher.Hereyesaredowncastandanervous,apologeticsmile–thatismorelikeatwitch–jerksaboutherlips.Ifeelasurgeofpanic.DoesMotherknowshe’sinterviewingacriminaltoreplaceAyah?ButthereisaqualitysoanxiousanddespairingaboutthenarrowpallidfacethatIconcealmyknowledge.Iwouldrathertrustmyselftothedangerouscareofthejailbirdthanbetrayher:sostrongisthedragofguiltandcompassionshehasexertedonme.ShelooksatMotheroutofappealingeyes.Docile.Readytoplease.Soinneed.Servilelymurmuring:‘Yes,jee,Iwilldoeverything…Anythingyouwant.’
‘Thesearedecentfolk,mindyou!They’renotthekindthatletflydog-and-catabuses,’interjectsImamDingruffly,leaningagainstMother’sbedroomdoorwiththeproprietoryairofanelderlyandpamperedflunkey.‘You’llbelookedafterifyouworkproperly.’
Heisastransparentasme.Hecannothidehispity.
‘Iamnotfrightenedofwork,brother,’saysthewomaninthicklyaccented,villagePunjabi.‘Iwillsweep,clean,milkthebuffalo,churnthebutter,washclothes,cleanoutlatrines,makechapatties…Afterall,I’vebeenahousewife.’
Shestopsspeakingabruptlyandlooksunaccountablyguiltyandevenmorebashful.Suddenly,foldingherknees,shehunkersdownonthebedroomflooranddrawsherchuddarforwardoverherface.
‘Youwon’tneedtodoanyofthat!’saysMother.Sheindicatesmewithherglance.‘Here’syourcharge.AllIwantyouforisthecareofthechildren…Don’tletthemoutofyoursight.’
ThewomanswivelsonherheelsandgazesintomyeyessointenselythatIfeelitisI,andnotMother,whoisempoweredtoemployher.Thejerkysmileaboutherlipsdistendsfearfully.‘Iwillguardherlikethepupilsinmyeyes,’shesays.‘Don’tIknowhowcarefulonehastobewithyounggirls?Especiallythesedays!’Hertoneofvoiceandchoiceof
words–asofvillagewomenutteringplatitudes–isgrotesqueintheobviouslystraitenedandabnormalcircumstancesofherlife.
Wecallherbyhername,Hamida.Wecan’tbeartocallherAyah.
***
LookingforAyah.WearealllookingforAyah.MotherandElectric-aunt,headstogether,gogoos-goosingandwhispering,contortingtheirfacesinstrangeandsolemnways.Andwhentheyseeustheyhushanddramaticallyaltertheirfierceexpressions.Theirreassembled,we-were-just-talking-of-this-and-thatfeaturesfrightenmemorethanthenewstheyareattemptingtospareme.
Fatheronceagaincyclestowork,leavingtheMorrisforMother.Electric-auntandMotherdriveoff,comeback,andareoffagainwithsuchfrequencyandurgencythatIachewithexpectationandshatteredhopeeachtimeIanxiouslylookintothereturningAyah-lesscar.
SharbatKhanreturnsfromthehillsandHari,aliasHimatAli,squattingonhistremblinghaunchesandweepingshamelessly,tellshim:‘Hesprangatmeoutofagunny-sack,dead!’Andwipinghistearingeyessays,‘Thedeadbastard!Didn’theknowshe’dbealone?’
Wrappedinablanket,turbanwoundroundhismouth,SharbatKhancyclesupforlow-voicedconversationswithImamDinandYousaf.Herattlesaway–sometimesaccompaniedbyYousaf–andthewaytheirlegspedal,andthewaytheyleanintothewind,IcantelltheyarelookingforAyah.
SharbatKhanlooksdifferent.Histigereyesaregrimandbloodshot.Hedriveshisfoothardonthepedalofhismachineandexaminestheedgesofthekniveshesharpensasthoughhewillusethemtokillusall.SometimeshelooksatmeasifheistryingtoprobemysoulandsearchouttheaberrationsinmypersonalitythatmademebetrayAyah.Thenheshakeshisheadandbitterlysays:‘ChildrenaretheDevil…Theyonlyknowthetruth.’
Icannolongerlookintohiseyes.
***
HamidakeepsherbowedheadcoveredandhereyesavertedfromFather.Sheshufflesandpivotsawkwardlyonherlonglegs,hunchinghernarrowshouldersmeekly,carefulnottooffendanyonebyherunusualheight.
Hamidahastobetrainedfromscratch.YousafteachesherhowtomakebedsthewayMotherlikes.Mothershowsherhowtostackclothesintidypilesincupboards,howtowashwoollensanddrythemonspreadtowels.Hamidahasneverusedaniron.Sheneverdoes.Sheissoterrifiedofelectricitythatshedoesn’tevenswitchonthelights–until
Cousinshowsherhowtowithawoodenclotheshanger,which,itisdinnedintoherhead,makeshershock-proof.
WetellherwhereourthingsgoandMothershowsherhowtobatheusandmassagemylegs.
Ibarelylimpnow.
HamidahastoberestrainedfromlatchingontoMotherandmassagingandpummellingherlimbswhenevershefindsMothersitting,sewingorreadinginbed.Hamidadoesn’tknowwhattodowithherhandsinMother’spresence.And,whenidle,influtteringpanictheyreachoutandmassagewhoeverisathand.Adiwigglesandslipsawayfromhergrasp.Or,ifsheistooinsistent,kicksout.Iletherhandshavetheirwillwithmeandtolerateherirksomecaress.SheislikeastarvedandgroundedbirdandIcan’tbeartohurther.
Sometimeshereyesfillandthetearsrolldownhercheeks.Once,whenIsmoothedherhairback,shesuddenlystartedtoweep,andnoticingmyconsternationexplained:‘Whentheeyeiswounded,evenascentedbreezehurts.’
***
HamidacomestofetchmefromMrsPen’s.Whenweareclosetothehouse,shecasuallysays:‘ImamDinhasguests…Poorthings:theyhavesufferedalot…TheSikhsattackedtheirvillage.’
‘Wherearetheyfrom?’Iask,mypulsequickening.
‘PirPindo…orsomesuchvillage.’
IleaveherhandandasIruntowardsthehouseIhearhervoicetryingtorestrainme.‘Becareful,Lennybaby,’shecries.‘Waitforme!’Andsherunsafterme.Myheartbeatingwildly,Irunintotheservants’courtyard.
Asmallboy,sopainfullythinthathiskneesandelbowsappearswollen,issquattingafewfeetawayconcentratingonstrikingamarblelyinginanotchinthedust.Heiswearingragged,draw-stringshortsofthincottonandthedirtycordtyingthemingathersroundhiswaisttrailsinthemud.Hisaimscores,andheturnstolookatme.Hisfaceisapatchworkofbrownandblackskin;awizenedblemish.Hestartstogetup,showinghisteethinacrookedsmile;andwithashockIrecogniseRanna.Hislimbsareblackandbrittle;thecircularprotrusionofhiswindpipeandribssoskeletalthatIcanseethepassageofairinhisthroatandlungs.Heiscoveredwithwelts;asifhisbodyhasbeenchoppedup,andthenwelded.Heseesmyhorrorandwinces,turningaway.‘Ranna,’Isay,movingquicklytotouchhim.‘Ranna!Whathappenedtoyou?’Ican’thelpit;Ilookattheuglyscabwherehisbelly-buttonusedtobe.Hestaresatmehisfacecrumbling.And,aswheelingabruptly,herunsintoImamDin’squarters,Iseetheimprobablewoundonthe
backofhisshavedhead.Itisagrislyscarlikeabrutallygougedandprematurebaldspot.Intimethewoundacquiredtheshapeofafour-day-oldcrescentmoon.
Ialmostliveinthequarters.Hamidasitswithusforshortperiods,andwhenshepullsRannatoherlapandhepressesagainsther,herdisorderlyhandsgrowtranquil.Ionlygotothehousetosleep.IeatmymealsinImamDin’squarters,relishingeverythingRanna’sNonichachicooks.That’swhentheytalk–usingplainPunjabiwordsandgraphicpeasantgestures–Ranna,bitbybit,describingtheattackonPirPindo,Nonichachirecountingherpartinthestory,andIqbalchachainterveningwithclarification,conjectureandcomment.Itishardtograspthattheeventstheydescribetookplaceonlyacoupleofmonthsago…that,likeRanna,PirPindoisbrutallyaltered…thathisfamily,asIknewit,hasceasedtoexist…
***
Noonerealisedthespeedatwhichthedestructionandtherampageadvanced.Theydidn’tknowtheextenttowhichitsurroundedthem.JagjeetSinghvisitedPirPindoundercoverofdarknesswithfurtivegroupsofSikhs.AfewmorefamilieswhohadclosekinnearMultanandLahoreleft,disguisedasSikhsorHindus.Butmostofthevillagersresistedthemove.Theuncertaintytheyfacedmadethemdiscreditthedanger.‘Wecannotleave,’theysaid,and,likearefrain,Icanhearthemsay:‘Whatfacewillweshowourforefathersonthedayofjudgementifweabandontheirgraves?Allahwillprotectus!’
JagjeetSinghsentwordhewasriskinghislife,andthelivesoftheothermeninDeraTekSingh,ifhevisitedPirPindoagain.TheAkaliswereawareofhissympathiesfortheMuslims.Theyhadthreatenedhim.Theywereincontrolofhisvillage.
JagjeetSinghadvisedthemtoleaveassoonastheycould:butitwasalreadytoolate.
Ranna’sstory
Latethatafternoontheclamourofthemonsoondownpoursuddenlyceased.Chiddaraisedherhandsfromthedoughshewaskneadingand,squattingbeforethebrasstray,turnedtohermother-in-law.SittingbyhisgrandmotherRannasensedtheirtensionastheoldwomanstoppedchaffingthewheat.Sheslowlypushedbackherage-brittlehairand,holdingherknobbyfingersimmobile,grewabsolutelystill.
Chiddastoodintheirnarrowdoorway,hereyesnervouslyscouringthecourtyard.Rannaclungtohershalwar,peeringout.Hiscousins,almostnakedintheirsoakingrags,wereshoutingandsplashingintheslushintheircourtyard.‘Shutup.Oye!’Chiddashoutedinavoicethatrushedsoviolentlyfromherstrongchestthatthechildrenquietenedatonceandleanedandsliduneasilyagainstthewarmblackhidesofthebuffaloestetheredtotheroughstumps.Thecloudshadbrokenandthesunshotbeamsthatlitupthefreshlybathedcourtyard.
Theothermembersofthehousehold,Ranna’solderbrothers,hisuncles,auntsandcousinswerequietlyfilingintothecourtyard.WhenshesawKhatijaandParveen,Chiddastrodetoherdaughtersandpressedthemfiercelytoherbody.Thevillagewassoquietitcouldbethemiddleofthenight:andfromthedistance,buffetingtheheavy,moisture-ladenair,camethewailsandthehoarsevoicesofmenshouting.
Alreadytheirneighbours’turbansskimmedthetallmudrampartsoftheircourtyard,theirbarefeetsquelchingonthepaththerainhadturnedintoamuddychannel.
Icanimaginetheoldmullah,combinghisfadedbeardwithtremblingfingersashewatchesthevillagersconvergeonthemosquewithitsunevengreendome.Itisperchedonanincline;andseenfromtherethefields,floodedwithrain,arethesamemuddycolourasthehuts.Themullahdragshiscotforwardasthevillagers,touchingtheirforeheadsandgreetinghimsombrely,filltheprayerground.Thechaudhryjoinsthemullahonhischarpoy.Thevillagerssitontheirhaunchesinunevenrowsliftingtheirconfusedandfrightenedfaces.Thereisamurmurofvoices.Conjectures.Firstthenameofonevillageandthenofanother.TheSikhshaveattackedKot-Rahim.No,itsoundscloser…ItmustbeMakipura.
Thechaudhryraiseshisheavyvoiceslightly:‘DostMohammadandhispartywillbeheresoon…We’llknowsoonenoughwhat’sgoingon.’
Athisreassuringpresencethemurmuringsubsidesandthevillagersnervouslysettledowntowait.Somewomendrawtheirveilsacrosstheirfacesand,shadingtheirbosoms,impatientlyshovetheirnipplesintothemouthsofwhimperingbabies.Grandmothers,mothersandauntsrockrestivechildrenontheirlapsandthumptheirforeheadstoputthemtosleep.Thechildren,conditionedtothenumbingjolts,growgroggyandtheireyesbecomeun-focused.Theyfallasleepalmostatonce.
Halfanhourlaterthescoutingparty,drenchedandmuddy,thelowerhalvesoftheirfaceswrappedintheendsoftheirturbans,picktheirwaythroughthesquattingvillagerstothechaudhry.
Removinghiswetpuggareeandwipinghisheadwithacloththemullahhandshim,DostMohammadturnsonhishaunchestofacethevillagers.Hisskinisgrey,asiftherainhasbleachedthecolour.Castingashadeacrosshiseyeswithahandthattremblesslightly,speakinginamatter-of-factvoicethatdisguiseshisacheandfear,hetellsthevillagersthattheSikhshaveattackedatleastfivevillagesaroundDehraMisri,totheireast.Theirnumbershaveswollenenormously.Theyarelikeswarmsoflocusts,movinginmaraudingbandsofthirtyandfortythousand.TheyarekillingallMuslims.Settingfires,looting,paradingtheMuslimwomennakedthroughthestreets–rapingandmutilatingtheminthecentreofvillagesandinmosques.TheBias,floodedbymeltingsnow,andthemonsoon,iscarryinghundredsofcorpses.Thereisanintolerablestenchwherethebodies,caughtinthebends,havepiledup.
‘Whatarethepolicedoing?’amanshouts.HeisDostMohammad’scousin.Onewayoranotherthevillagersarerelated.
‘TheMuslimsintheforcehavebeendisarmedattheordersofaHinduSub-Inspector;thedog’spenis!’saysDostMohammad,speakinginthesameflatmonotone.‘TheSikhandHindupolicehavejoinedthemobs.’
Thevillagersappearvisiblytoshrink–asifthelossofhopeisaphysicalthing.Awomanwithachildonherlapslapsherforeheadandbeginstowail:‘Hai!Hai!’Theotherwomenjoinher:‘Hai!Hai!’Olderwomen,beatingtheirbreastslikehollowdrums,cry,‘Nevermindus…savetheyounggirls!Thechildren!Hai!Hai!’
Ranna’stwo-toothedoldgrandmother,herfrailvoicequaveringbitterly,shrieks:‘WeshouldhavegonetoPakistan!’
Itwashardtobelievethatthedecisiontostaywastakenonlyamonthago.EmbeddedintheheartofthePunjab,theyhadfeltsecure,inviolate.Andtouprootthemselvesfromthesoiloftheirancestorshadseemedtothemakintotearingthemselves,likeancienttrees,fromtheearth.
Andthemessagesfilteringfromtheoutsidehadbeenreassuring.Gandhi,Nehru,Jinnah,TaraSinghweretellingthepeasantstoremainwheretheywere.Theminoritieswouldbeasacredtrust…Thecommunaltroublewasbeingcausedbyafewmischief-makersandwouldsoonsubside–andthenthereweretheirbrothers,theSikhsofDeraTekSingh,whowouldprotectthem.
ButhowmanyMuslimscantheSikhvillagersbefriend?Themobs,determinedtodrivetheMuslimsout,arepreparedforthecarnage.TheirranksswollenbythousandsofrefugeesrecountingfreshtalesofhorrortheyrolltowardsPirPindoliketheheedlessswellsofanocean.
Thechaudhryraiseshisvoice:‘Howmanygunsdowehavenow?’
Thewomenquieten.
‘Sevenoreight,’amanrepliesfromthefront.
Thereisadisappointedsilence.Theyhadexpectedtoprocuremoregunsbuteveryvillageisholdingontoitsmeagrestockofweapons.
‘Wehaveouraxes,knives,scythesandstaves!’amancallsfromtheback.‘Letthosebastardscome.We’reready!’
‘Yes…we’reasreadyaswe’lleverbe,’thechaudhrysays,strokinghisthickmoustache.‘Youallknowwhattodo…’
Theyhavebeenovertheplanoftenenoughrecently.Thewomenandgirlswillgatheratthechaudhry’s.Ratherthanfacethebrutalityofthemobtheywillpourkerosenearoundthehouseandburnthemselves.Thecanistersofkerosenearealreadystoredinthebarnat
therearofthechaudhry’ssprawlingmudhouse.TheyoungmenwillengagetheSikhsatthemosque,andatotherstrategiclocations,foraslongastheycanandgivethewomenachancetostartthefire.
Afewmenfromeachfamilyweretoshepherdtheyoungerboysandlockthemselvesintosecludedbackrooms,hopingtoescapedetection.Theywerepeaceablepeasants,notskilledinsuchmatters,andtheirplansweresketchyandoptimistic.Comfortedbyeachother’spresence,reluctanttodisperse,thevillagersremainedintheprayeryardasduskgatheredaboutthem.Thedistantwailingandshoutinghadceased.Laterthatnightitrainedagain,andcomfortedbyitsseasonalsplatterthetiredvillagerscurledupontheirmatsandslept.
Theattackcameatdawn.Thewatchfromthemosque’ssingleminarethurtleddownthewindingstepstospreadthealarm.Thepanickedwomenrantoandfroscreamingandsnatchinguptheirbabies,andthemenbarelyhadtimetogettotheirposts.InfifteenminutesthevillagewasswampedbytheSikhs–tallmenwithstreaminghairandthickbicepsandthighs,wavingfull-sizedswordsandsten-guns,roaring,‘BolaysoNihal!SatSiriAkal!’
Theymoweddownthevillagersinthemosquewiththesten-guns.Shouting‘Allah-o-Akbar!’thepeasantsdiedofswordandspearwoundsintheslushylanesandcourtyards,thescreamsofwomenfromthechaudhry’shouseringingintheirears,wonderingwhythehousewasnotburning.
Ranna,abandonedbyhismotherandsistershalfwaytothechaudhry’shouse,ranhowlingintothecourtyard.Chiddahadspankedhisheadandpushedhimaway,shrieking,‘Gotoyourfather!Staywiththemen!’
Rannaranthroughtheirhousetotheroomtheboyshadbeeninstructedtogatherin.Someofhiscousinsanduncleswerealreadythere.Moremenstumbledintothedarkwindowlessroom–thenhistwoolderbrothers.Theremustbeatleastthirtyoftheminthesmallroom.Itwasstifling.Heheardhisfather’svoiceandfoughthiswaytowardshim.DostMohammadshoutedharshly:‘Shutup!They’llkillyouifyoumakeanoise.’
Theyellingintheroomsubsided.DostMohammadpickeduphisson,andRannasawhisuncleslipoutintothegreylightandshutthedoor,plungingtheroomintodarkness.Someoneboltedthedoorfrominside,andtheyheardtheheavythudofcottonbalesstackedagainstthedoortodisguisetheentrance.Withlucktheywouldremainundetectedandsafe.
Theshoutingandscreamingfromoutsideappearedtocomeinwaves:recedingandapproaching.Fromalldirections.SometimesRannacouldmakeoutthewordsandevenwholesentences.Heheardawomancry,‘Doanythingyouwantwithme,butdon’ttormentme…ForGod’ssake,don’ttortureme!’Andthenanintolerablescreaming.‘OhGod!’amanwhisperedonasobbingintakeofbreath.‘OhGod,sheisthemullah’s
daughter!’Themencoveredtheirears–andtheboys’ears–sobbingunaffectedlylikelittlechildren.
Ateenager,hiscrackedvoiceresoundinglikethehonkofgeese,startedwailing:‘Idon’twanttodie…Idon’twanttodie!’Catchinghisfear,Rannaandtheotherchildrensettowhimpering:‘Idon’twanttodie…Abba,Idon’twanttodie!’
‘Hush,’saidDostMohammadgruffly.‘Stopwhininglikegirls!’Then,withwordsthatmusthavebubbledupfromadeepsourceofstrengthandcompassion,withinfinitegentleness,hesaid,‘What’stheretobeafraidof?Areyouafraidtodie?Itwon’thurtanymorethanthestingofabee.’Hisvoice,unseasonablylight-hearted,carriedatendernessthatsoothedandcalmedthem.Rannafellasleepinhisfather’sarms.
Someonewasbangingonthedoor,shouting:‘Openup!Openup!’
Rannaawokewithastart.Whywasheonthefloor?Whyweretheresomanypeopleaboutinthedark?Hefeltthestirofmengettingtotheirfeet.Theairintheroomwasoppressive:hotandhumidandstinkingofsweat.SuddenlyRannarememberedwherehewasandthedarknessbecamechargedwithterror.
‘Weknowyou’reinthere.Comeon,openup!’Thenoiseofthebangingwasdeafeninginthepitch-blackroom,drowningtheotherchildren’salarmedcries.‘Allah!Allah!Allah!’anoldmanmoanednon-stop.
‘Who’sthere?’DostMohammadcalled;andputtingRannadown,stumblingoverthesmallbodies,madehiswaytothedoor.Ranna,terrified,gropingblindlyinthedark,triedtofollow.
‘We’reSikhs!’
TherewasapauseinwhichRanna’sthroatdriedup.Theoldmanstoppedsaying‘Allah’.Andinthedeathlystillness,hisvoiceechoingfromhisproximitytothedoor,DostMohammadsaid,‘Killus…Killusall…butsparethechildren.’
‘Openatonce!’
‘Ibegyouinthenameofallyouholdsacred,don’tkillthelittleones,’Rannaheardhisfatherplead.‘MakethemSikhs…Letthemlive…theyaresolittle…’
Suddenlythenoonlightsmotetheireyes.DostMohammadsteppedoutandwalkedthreepaces.Therewasasunlitsweepofcurvedsteel.Hisheadwasshornclearoffhisneck.Turningonceintheair,eyeswideopen,ittumbledinthedust.Hishandsjerkedupslashingtheairabovethebleedingstumpofhisneck.
Rannasawhisunclesbeheaded.Hisolderbrothers,hiscousins.TheSikhswereamongthemlikehairyvengefuldemons,wieldingbloodiedswords,draggingthemoutasasprinklingofHindus,dartingaboutatthefringes,theirfacesvaguelyfamiliar,pointedoutandidentifiedtheMussulmansbyname.Hefeltablowcleavethebackofhisheadand
thewarmflowofblood.Rannafelljustinsidethedooronatangledpileofunrecognisablebodies.Someonefellonhim,drenchinghiminblood.
Everytimehiseyesopentheworldappearstothemtobefloatinginblood.Fromthedirectionofthemosquecometheintolerableshrieksandwailsofwomen.Itseemstohimthatawomanissobbingjustoutsidetheircourtyard:greatanguishedsobs–andatintervalsshescreams:‘You’llkillme!HaiAllah…Y’allwillkillme!’
Rannawantstotellher,‘Don’tbeafraidtodie…Itwillhurtlessthanthestingofabee.’Butheishurtingsomuch…Whyisn’thedead?Wherearethebees?Oncehethoughthesawhiseleven-year-oldsister,Khatija,runstarknakedintotheircourtyard,herlonghairdishevelled,herboyishbodybruised,herlipscutandswollenandabloodyscabwhereherfrontteethweremissing.
Laterintheeveningheawoketosilence.Atoncehebecamefullyconscious.Hewiggledbackwardsoverthebodiesandslippingfreeoftheweightontopofhimfelthimselfsinkknee-deepintoaviscousfluid.Thebodiesblockingtheentrancehadturnedtheroomintoapoolofblood.
Keepingtotheshadowscastbythemudwalls,steppingoverthemangledbodiesofpeopleheknew,Rannamadehiswaytothechaudhry’shouse.Itwasdarkinside.Therewasanauseatingstenchofkerosenemixedwiththesmellofspiltcurry.Helethiseyesgetaccustomedtothedimness.Carefullyheexploredtheroomsclutteredwithsmashedclaypots,brokencharpoys,spilledgrainandchapatties.Hehadnotrealisedhowhungryhewasuntilhesawthepileofstalebread.Hecrammedthechapattiesintohismouth.
Hisheartgavealurch.Awomanwassleepingonacharpoy.Hereachedforherandhishandgraspedherclammy,inertflesh.Herealisedwithashockshewasdead.Hewalkedroundthecottoexamineherface.Itwasthechaudhry’solderwife.Hediscoveredthreemorebodies.Inthedimlightheturnedthemoverandpeeredintotheirfacessearchingforhismother.
Whenheemergedfromthehouseitwasgettingdark.Movingwarily,avoidingcontactwiththebodieshekeptstumblingupon,hewenttothemosque.
*
Forthefirsttimeheheardvoices.Thewhispersofwomencomfortingeachother–ofwomensoftlyweeping.Hisheartpoundinginhischesthecrepttoonesideofthearchingmosqueentrance.Heheardamangroan,thenaseriesofanimal-likegrunts.
Hefrozenearthebodyofthemullah.Howsoonhehadbecomeaccustomedtothinkingofpeoplehehadknownallhislifeasbodies.Hefeltonsucheasytermswithdeath.Theoldmullah’sfacewassereneindeath,hisbeardpaléagainstthebrickplinth.Thefiguresinthecoveredportionattherearofthemosquewereadarkblur.Hewassurehehad
heardChidda’svoice.Hebeganinchingforward,preparedtodashacrosstheyardtowherethewomenwere,whenamanyawnedandsighed,‘WahGuru!’
‘WahGuru!WahGuru!’respondedthreeorfourmalevoices,soundingdrowsyandreplete.RannarealisedthatthemeninthemosquewereSikhs.Awaveofrageandloathingswepthissmallbody.HeknewitwaswrongoftheSikhstobeinthemosquewiththevillagewomen.Hecouldnotexplainwhy:exceptthathestillsleptinhisparents’room.
‘Stopwhimpering,youbitch,orI’llbuggeryouagain!’amansaidirritably.
Othermenlaughed.Therewasmuchmovement.Stifledexclamationsandmoans.Awomanscreamed,andsworeinPunjabi.Therewasaloudcrackingnoiseandtherattleofbreathfromthelungs.Thenamomentofhorriblestillness.
Rannafledintothemoonlessnight.Skiddingontheslickwetclay,stumblingintotheirrigationditchesdemarcatingthefields,heraninthedirectionofhisUncleIqbalandhisNonichachi’svillage.Hedidn’tstopuntildeepinsideathicketofsugar-canehestumbledonaslightlyelevatedslabofdrierground.Theclayfeltsoftandcaressingagainsthisexhaustedbody.Itwasasafeplacetorest.ThemomentRannafeltsecurehisheadhurtandhefainted.
Rannalayunconsciousinthecanefieldallmorning.Intermittentshowerswashedmuchofthebloodanddustoffhislimbs.Aroundnoontwomenwalkedintothecanefield,andatthefirstrustleofthedriedleavesRannabecamefullyconscious.
Slidingonhisbutttothelowerground,crouchingamidsttheprickingtangleofstalksanddriedleaves,Rannafollowedthepassageofthemenwithhisears.Theytrampledthroughthefield,selectingandcuttingthesugar-canewiththeirkirpans,talkinginPunjabi.RannapickedupanexpressionthatwarnedhimthattheywereSikhs.Halfburiedintheslushhescarcelybreathedasoneofthemencamesoclosetohimthathesawthebluecheckonhislungiandtheflashofawhitesinglet.Therewasacracklingrustleasthemansquattedtodefecate.
Halfanhourlaterwhenthemenleft,Rannamovedcautiouslytowardstheedgeofthefield.AclusterofaboutsixtySikhsinlungisandsinglets,theircarelesslyknottedhairsnakingdowntheirbacks,stoodtalkinginafallowfieldtohisright.Atsomedistance,inanotherfieldofyounggreenshoots,SikhsandHindusweregatheredinamuchlargerbunch.Rannasensedtheirpresencebehindhiminthefieldshecouldn’tsee.Theremustbethousandsofthem,hethought.Shiftingtoasafespothesearchedthedistanceforthegreendomeofhisvillagemosque.Hehadtravelledtoofartospotit.Butheknewwherehisvillagelayandguessedfromthecoilingsmokethathisvillagewasonfire.
Muchlater,whenitwastimefortheeveningmeal,thefieldscleared.Hecouldnotmakeoutasinglehumanformformiles.Asheranagaintowardshisaunt’svillagetheredsun,asifengorgedwithblood,sankintothehorizon.
Allnighthemoved,scuttlingalongthemoundsofearthprotectingthewaterways,runninginshallowchannels,burrowinglikeasmallanimalthroughthestandingcrop.Whenhestoppedtocatchhisbreath,hesawtheglowfromburningvillagesmeasuringthenightdistancesoutforhim.
Rannaarrivedathisaunt’svillagejustafterdawn.Hewatcheditfromafar,confusedbytheactivitytakingplacearoundfiveorsixhugelorriesparkedintheruttedlanes.Soldiers,holdinggunswithbayonetsstickingoutofthem,weredirectingthevillagers.Thevillagerswereshoutingandrunningtoandfro,carryingontheirheadscharpoysheapedwiththeirbelongings.Somewereherdingtheircalvesandgoatstowardsthetrucks.Othersweredumpingtheirhouseholdeffectsinthemiddleofthelanesintheirscrambletoclimbintothelorries.
TherewerenoSikhsabout.Thevillagewasnotunderattack.PerhapsthearmytrucksweretheretoevacuatethevillagersandtakethemtoPakistan.
Rannahurtleddownthelanes,weavingthroughtheburdenedanddistraughtvillagersandstrayingcattle,intohisaunt’shut.Hesawherrightaway,heapingherpotsandpansonacot.Afatrollofwinterbeddingtiedwithastringlaytooneside.Hescreamed:‘Nonichachi!It’sme!’
‘ForaminuteIthought:Whoisthisfilthylittlebeggar?’Nonichachisays,whensherelatesherpartinthestory.‘Isaid:Ranna?Ranna?Isthatyou?What’reyoudoinghere!’
Themomenthecaughtthelightofrecognitionandconcerninhereyes,thepaininhisheadexplodedandhecrumpledatherfeetunconscious.
‘Itisfunny,’Rannasays.‘AslongasIhadtolookoutformyself,Iwasallright.AssoonasIfeltsafe,Ifainted.’
Herhandstrembling,hischachiwashedthewoundonhisheadwithawetrag.Clotsofcongealedbloodcameawayandfloatedinthepaninwhichsherinsedthecloth.‘Ididnotdareremovethethickscabsthathadformedoverthewound,’shesays.‘IthoughtI’dseehisbrain!’Theslashingbladehadscalpedhimfromtheriseinthebackofhisheadtothetop,exposingawoundthesizeofalargebaldpatchonaman.Shewonderedhehadlived;foundhiswaytotheirvillage.Shewassurehewoulddieinafewmoments.Ranna’schacha,Iqbal,andothermembersofthehousegatheredabouthim.Anoldwoman,thevillagedai,checkedhispulseandhisbreathand,coveringhimwithawhitecloth,said:‘Lethimdieinpeace!’
*
Aterrifyingroar,likethewarningofanalarm,throbsinhisears.Hesitsuponthecharpoy,takinginthedisorderinthehastilyabandonedroom.Theothercot,heapedwithhisaunt’sbelongings,lieswhereitwas.Hecanseethebeddingrollabandonedinthecourtyard.Claydishes,mugs,chippedcrockery,andhand-fanslieonthefloorwith
scatteredbitsofclothing.Wherearehisauntanduncle?Whyishealone?Andinthefearsomenoisedrawingnearer,herecognisestherhythmoftheSikhandHinduchants.
Rannaleaptfromthecotandranthroughthelanesofthedesertedvillage.Exceptfortheanimalslowingandbleatingandwanderingownerlessontheslushypathstherewasnooneabout.Whyhadn’ttheytakenhimwiththem?
Hisheartthumping,Rannaclimbedtothetopofthemosqueminaret.HesawthemobofSikhsandHindusinthefieldsscuttlingforwardfromthehorizonlikegiantants.Roaring,wavingswords,partlyobscuredbytheveilofdustraisedbytheirtramplingfeet,theyapproachedthevillage.
Rannaflewdownthesteepsteps.Heraninandoutoftheemptyhouseslookingforaplacetohide.Themobsoundedclose.Hecouldhearthethudoftheirfeet,makeoutthewordsoftheirchants.Rannaslippedthroughthedoorintoabarn.Itwasalmostentirelyfilledwithstraw.Hedivedintoit.
HeheardtheSikhs’triumphantwarcriesastheyswarmedintothevillage.Heheardthesavagebangingandkickingopenofdoors:andthequickconfusedexchangeofshoutsasthemenrealisedthatthevillagewasempty.Theysearchedallthehouses,movingsystematically,lootingwhatevertheycouldlaytheirhandson.
Rannaheldhisbreathasthedoortothebarnopened.
‘Oye!D’youthinktheMusslasarehidinghere?’acoarsevoiceasked.
‘We’llfindout,’anothervoicesaid.
Rannacrouchedinthehay.Themenwereclimbingalloverthestraw,slashingitwithlongsweepsoftheirswordsandpiercingitwiththeirspears.
Rannaalmostcriedoutwhenhefeltthefirstsharpprick.Hefeltsteeltearintohisflesh.Asifrecallingadream,heheardanoldwomansay:He’slosttoomuchblood.Lethimdieinpeace.
Rannadidnotloseconsciousnessagainuntilthelastmanleftthebarn.
***
AndwhiletheoldcityinLahore,crammedbehinditsdilapidatedMogulgates,burned,thirtymilesawayAmritsaralsoburned.NoonenoticedRannaashewanderedintheburningcity.Noonecared.Thereweretoomanyuglyandabandonedchildrenlikehimscavenginginthelootedhousesandtherubbleofburnt-outbuildings.
Hisragsclingingtohiswounds,strawstickinginhisscalpedskull,Rannawanderedthroughthelanesstealingchapattiesandgrainfromhousesstrewnwithdeadbodies,riflingthecorpsesforanythinghecoulduse.Heateanything.Rawpotatoes,uncookedgrains,wheat-flour,rottingpeelsandvegetables.
Noonemindedthesemi-nakedspectreashelookedindoorswithhisknowing,wide-setpeasanteyesasmencopulatedwithwailingchildren–oldandyoungwomen.Hesawanakedwomen,herlightKashmiriskinbruisedwithpurplesplotchesandcuts,hangingheaddownfromaceilingfan.Andlookedonwithachild’sboundlessacceptanceandcuriosityasjeeringmensetherlonghaironfire.Hesawbabies,snatchedfromtheirmothers,smashedagainstwallsandtheirhowlingmothersbrutallyrapedandkilled.
CarefullysteeringawayfromthemurderousSikhmobshearrivedatthestationontheoutskirtsofthecity.Itwascordonedoffbybarbedwire,andbeyondthewireherecognisedahuddleofMuslimrefugeessurroundedbySikhandHindupolice.Hestoodbeforethebarbedwirescreaming,‘Amma!Amma!Nonichachi!Nonichachi!’
ASikhsepoy,hishairtiedneatlyinakhakiturban,ambleduptotheothersideofthewire.‘Oye!What’reyoumakingsucharacketfor?Scram!’hesaid,raisinghishandinathreateninggesture.
Rannastayedhisground.HecouldnotbeartolookattheSikh.Hisstomachmusclesfeltlikechokeddrains.Buthestayedhisground:‘Iwastremblingfromheadtotoe,’hesays.
‘O,me-kiya!Isay!’thesepoyshoutedtohiscroniesstandingbyanopeninginthewire.‘Thislittlemother-fuckerthinkshismotherandauntareinthatgroupofMusslas.’
‘Sendhimhere,’someoneshouted.
Rannaranuptothemen.
‘Don’tyouknow?Yourmothermarriedmeyesterday,’saidafat-faced,fat-belliedHindu,hishairylegsbulgingbeneaththeshortsofhisuniform.‘AndyourchachimarriedMakhanSingh,’hesaid,indicatingatallyoungsepoywithashakeofhishead.
‘Letthepoorbastardbe,’MakhanSinghsaid.‘Goon:runalong.’TakingRannabyhisshoulderhegavehimashove.
Therefugeesinfrontwatchedthesmallfigurehurtletowardsthemacrossthegravellyclearing.Amiddle-agedwomanwithoutaveil,herhairdishevelled,movedforwardholdingoutherarms.
ThemomentRannawascloseenoughtoseethecom-passioninherstranger’seyes,hefainted.
WiththeotherMuslimrefugeesfromAmritsar,RannawasherdedintoarefugeecampatBadamiBaug.Hestayedinthecamp,whichisquiteclosetoourFireTemple,fortwomonths,queuingforthedoledoutchapatties,befriendedbyimprovidentrefugees,untilchance–iftherandomqueriesoffivemillionrefugeesseekingtheirkininthechaosofmammothcampsalloverWestPunjabcanbecalledanythingbutchance–reunitedhimwithhisNonichachiandIqbalchacha.
Chapter26
Cousin’scookdropshints.HetellsCousinhesuspectswhereAyahis.Yes,hethinksshe’sinLahore.
Thenheclamsup.AndnomatterhowmuchCousinthreatensorcajoleshim,doesn’taddoneilluminatingword.Idarenotquestionthecook.Infrontofmeheclamsup.AndinprivatethreatensCousinhewon’ttellhimanythingifheblabstome.
IroamthebazaarsholdingHimatAli’swizenedfinger,Hamida’sglutinoushand.Ivisitfairsandmelas,ridingonYousaf’sshoulders,lookinghereandthere.AndwhenIrideonthehandlebarofhisbicycle,peeringintotongas,buses,bullock-cartsandtrucks,IsometimesthinkIspotAyahandexclaim!ButitalwaysturnsouttobesomeonewhoonlyresemblesAyah.
***
Godmotherisinfluential.EvenCol.Bharuchavisitsher.Neighboursofallfaithsdropintotalk:andtopaytheirrespects.ButGodmotherseldomventuresout.Sheonlyvisitsifsomeoneisverysickorinextremeneedofher.
Orifshefeelsthecalltodonateblood.
ThecallnagsherthisstiflingJulymorning.Godmothertucksacologne-wateredhandkerchiefintoalittlepocketinhersari-blouse,putsonhermaroonvelvetgoing-outslippers,pinshergoing-outbeigesilksaritoherhairandarmedwithablackumbrellasetsoffinatongatobequeathblood.Iaccompanyher.SchoolsandtuitionsaresuspendedforsummervacationsandIamspendingtheweekwithher.HamidaandAdispendmosteveningswithus.MothervisitsoccasionallyandIfeeldistancedfromher–likewithaguest.
Godmotherliesdownonahardhospitalbenchcoveredonlywithawhitesheet.AnursebendsherarmbackandforthandrubsthecreaseinherarmwithcottonwoolthatsmellsjustlikethemuzzledidwhenCol.Bharuchaoperatedonmyleg.Thelady-doctorapproacheswithahideousinjectionsyringeandsicktomystomachIturnmyfaceawayandsqueezeGodmother’shand.Heranswer-inggripremainssteady.
WhenIlookatheragain,theblood-suckingneedlewithdrawn,sheappearstohavegrownlonger–asifthenobledeedhasaddedstaturetoherhorizontalform.Iamcertainherbloodwillsavemanywoundedlives.
Perspiringandhalfdeadfromtheheat,wereturnfromthehospital.MiniAuntyhandsGodmotheraprecioushalf-glassoficedwaterfromathermosandsaysshewouldalsoliketodonateblood.
Godmotherisfirmwithhermiddle-agedkidsister.‘No,’shesays,‘youmaykindlynotdonateyourblood!Ican’taffordtohaveyougoallfaintandlimponme.’
Slavesisterlooksunutterablydeprived.‘Allright,’shesays,saggingagainstthekitchendoorjamb.‘Gotoheavenallbyyourself,then.Denymeevengooddeeds!’
Godmotheristrulyastonished.
‘Isthatwhatyoubelieve?’sheasks,staringatSlavesisterslack-jawedandopen-mouthed;foronceatacompleteloss.
Atlast,shakingherhead,Godmotherrotatesherthumbagainsthertemple:‘Ascrewloosesomewhere,’shesays,lookingdazed.‘What’stobecomeofher,Idon’tknow…Inheavenorinhell!’
***
OvertheyearsGodmotherhasestablishedanetworkofespionagewithareachofwhichevensheisnotaware.Itisinhernaturetoknowthings:tobeawareofwhat’sgoingonaroundher.Theday-to-daycommonplacesofourlivesunraveltoherundercurrentsthatarelosttolessperceptivehumans.Nobaby–notevenakitten–isdeliveredwithinthesphereofherinfluencewithoutherbecominginstantlyawareofitsexistence.
Andthisisthesourceofherimmensepower:thisreservoirofrandomknowledge,andherknowledgeofancientloreandwisdomandherbalremedy.Youcannotbenearherwithoutfeelingheruncannystrength.Peoplebringtohertheirjoysandwoes.Showhertheirsoresandswollenjoints.Distillingtherightherbs,adroitlyinstillingtherightwordintherightear,shesecureswishes,smoothsrelationships,curesillnesses,battleswrongs,solacesgriefandpreventsmistakes.Shehasaccesstomanyears.Nooneknowshowmany.And,whentalkingincessantlyaboutmyresurrectedfriendIrelatetohertherigoursofRanna’sexperience,sheachievesforhimaminormiracle!RannaissuddenlysiphonedintotheConventofJesusandMaryasaboarder.
ItsurprisesmehoweasilyRannahasacceptedhisloss;andadjustedtohisnewenvironment.So…onegetsusedtoanything…Ifonemust.ThesmallbitternessesandgrudgesItendtonursemakemefeelashamedofmyself.Ranna’sreadyabilitytoforgiveapastnoneofuscouldcontrolkeepshimwhole.
TheConventisontheoutskirtsofShahdara,abouthalfwaybetweenImamDin’svillageandLahore.Barricadedbytallbrickwallsthegirls’schoolacceptsboysuptoacertainage.GettingapoorrefugeechildadmittedtoaConventschoolisasdifficultastransposinghimtoaprosperouscontinent:andasbeneficial.Notonlyforhim,itissaid,
butforsevensucceedinggenerationsoftheRannaprogeny.RannavisitsusontheweekendshecangetacyclerideintoLahore.
Godmothercanmovemountainsfromthepathsofthoseshebefriends,anderectmountainousbarrierswhereshedeemsitnecessary.
Sheisontosomething.Icantell.WhenIcatchhergoos-goosingwithSlavesisterandtheystopwhisperingabruptly,IknowtheyaretalkingofAyah.Slavesisterbehavesasiftheyarenothidinganythingfromme.ButGodmother,tohercredit,looksguiltyashell.
Shehasneverletmedownyet.IhavemorefaithinherinvestigativecapacitiesthanIhaveinMother’sandElectric-aunt’ssorties.
***
Themysteryofthewomeninthecourtyarddeepens.Atnightwehearthemwailing,theircriesvergingontheinhuman.SometimesIcan’ttellwherethecriesarecomingfrom.Fromthewomen–orfromthehousenextdoorinfiltratedbyourinvisibleneighbours.
Thereisagreatdealofactivitybyday:oftrucksgoingtoandfromthetingatessealingthecourtyard;ofwomenshouting;butnohintoftheturmoilandsufferingthateruptsatnight.
Andcloser,andasupsetting,thecagedvoicesofourparentsfightingintheirbedroom.Mothercrying,wheedling.Father’sterse,brash,indecipherablesentences.Terrifyingthumps.Iknowtheyquarrelmostlyaboutmoney.Butthereareotherthingstheyfightaboutthatarenotcleartome.SometimesIhearMothersay,‘No,Jana;Iwon’tletyougo!Iwon’tletyougotoher!’Soundsofascuffle.Fathergoesanyway.Wheredoeshegointhemiddleofthenight?Towhom?Why…whenMotherloveshimso?AlthoughFatherhasneverraisedhishandstous,onedayIsurpriseMotheratherbathandseethebruisesonherbody.
AndatdawntheinsistentroarofthezooliontrackingmetowhateverpointoftheworldIcannothidefromhiminmynightmares.
ItgetssothatIcannotsleep.AdiisasleepwithinmomentsbutIliewithmyeyesopen,staringattheshadowsthathavebeguntohauntmyroom.Thetwenty-foot-highceilingrecedesandthepalelightthatblurstheventilatorscreepsin,assumingtheangryshapesofswirlingphantombabies,ofgapingwoundsformingdeformedcres-cents–andofMasseur’sslender,skilfulfingerssearchingthenightroomforAyah.
AndwhenIdofallasleeptheslogansofthemobsreverberateinmydreams,piercedbywomen’swailsandshrieks–andIawakenscreamingforAyah.
Motherrushestomysideandbendsoverme.Inthefaintglowfromthenigh-lightIseeherhandsweepmybodyasshesymbolicallycatchesmischievousspiritsandbanishesthemwithaloudsnapofherfingers.Atthesametimesheblowsonme,makinga
frighteningnoiselikemoaningwinds:Whooooo!whoooooo!Thesoundiseerieenoughtobanishanypresence:naturalorsupernatural.Sheplacesasix-inchironnail,blessedbytheParseemysticMobedIbera,thediscipleofDasturKookadaru,undermymattresstowardofffear.
SometimesMotherliesbesideme,hertouchasfreshandsoothingasdaylight,andtellsmetheoldstoryofthelittlemousewithseventails.Motherhaswiselychangedtheending.‘Andthentherewasonlyonetailleft,’shesays,‘andthelittlemouseycamehomelaughing:“Ha,ha,ha,ha!”’Mother’sartificiallaughbouncesoffthewallssoheartilythatitdispelsfearandItoolaugh.‘Andthelittlemouseysaid,’saysmymother,‘“Mummy,mummy,nooneteasedme.Theysaid,‘Littlemouseywithonetail.Niceymouseywithonetail!”’
Ihaveoutgrownthestory–buttheintimacyitrecallslullsthedoubtsandfearsinmygrowingmind.
MotherasksHamidatosleeponamatinourroom.HamidasquatsbymybedandwetalkinwhisperstillIfallasleep.
OnecoldnightIamawakenedbyahideouswail.Myteethchattering,Isitup.Imusthavejustdozedoff,becauseHamidaisstillsittingbymybed.
‘Shush,’shesays.‘Gotosleep…It’sjustsomewoman.’
IliedownandHamidapatientlystrokesmyarm.
‘Whydotheywailandscreamatnight?’Iask.
ItisnotasubjectIhavebroachedtillnow,mindfulofHamida’ssensibilities.
‘Poorfate-smittenwoman,’saysHamida,sighing.‘Whatcanasorrowingwomandobutwail?’
‘Whoarethosewomen?’Iask.
‘Godknows,’saysHamida.‘Gotosleep…thereisnothingwecando…She’llbeallrightinthemor-ning.’
Myheartiswrungwithpityandhorror.Iwanttoleapoutofmybedandsoothethewailingwomanandslayhertormentors.I’veseenAyahcarriedaway–andithadlesstodowithfatethanwiththewillofmen.
‘Didyoucry?’IaskHamida.
‘Whodoesn’t?We’reallfate-smitten…’
‘Imean,whenyouwerethere?’
Herhandonmyleggoesstill.
‘Isawyoubeforeyoucametous,youknow.Isawyouinthejailnextdoor.’IspeakasgentlyasIknowhow.
‘Whatnonsenseyoutalk…’
‘Ilookeddownatyoufromaholeintheroof.Youcouldn’tseeme–butIsawyou.IrecognisedyoustraightawaywhenyouweretalkingtoMotheraboutthejob…ButIdidn’ttellher!’
Afterapause,breathingheavilyinthedark,Hamidasays,‘YourmotherknowsIwasthere.’
Thewomaninthejailhasstoppedwailing.Itissoquiet–asitmustbeatthebeginningoftime.
‘Whywereyouinjail?’Iaskatlast.
‘Itisn’tajail,Lennybaby…It’sacampforfallenwomen.’
‘Whatarefallenwomen?’
‘Hai!Thequestionsyouask!Yourmotherwon’tlikesuchtalk…Nowkeepquiet…’
‘Areyouafallenwoman?’
‘Hai,myfate!’moansHamida,suddenlyslappingherforehead.Sherocksonherheelsandmakesacrazykeeningnoise,suckingandexpellingtheairbetweenherteeth.
‘What’sthematter?Don’tdothat…pleasedon’tdothat,’Iwhisper,leaningovertotouchher.
‘Ifyourmotherfindsoutthisishowyoutalk,she’llthrowmeout!Hai,myfate!’
Againsheslapsherforeheadandmakesthatstranglingnasalnoise.
‘Iwon’ttellher…Ipromise!Stopit.Pleasedon’tdothat!’
Igetoutofbedandpressherfaceintomychest.Irockher,andHamida’stearssoakrightthroughmyflannelnightgown.
Iwon’tmentionherfalleveragain.Ican’tbeartohurther:I’dratherbitemytonguethancausepaintohergrief-woundedeye.
Butthisresolve,too,goesthewayofallresolutions.
‘What’safallenwoman?’IaskGodmother.
‘Awomanwhofallsoffanaeroplane.’
Godmothercanbelikethatsometimes.Exasperating.Shecan’thelpit.
‘Wouldn’tshebreakherheadanddie?’Isaypatiently.
‘Maybe.’
‘ButHamidadidn’tbreakherhead…Shesaysshe’safallenwoman.’
‘Oh?’Godmother’sexpressionchanges.
AsItellherofmyconversationwithHamida,Slavesisterloitersabouttheroom.Shepretendstoarrangepapersonthedesk.Thelettersandpapersarealreadysortedoutandneatlystacked.Althoughshehasherbacktome,Icantellherearsareswitchedon.
‘HamidawaskidnappedbytheSikhs,’saysGodmotherseriously.OnseriousmattersIcanalwaystrusthertolevelwithme.‘ShewastakenawaytoAmritsar.Oncethathappens,sometimes,thehusband–orhisfamily–won’ttakeherback.’
‘Why?Itisn’therfaultshewaskidnapped!’
‘Somefolkfeelthatway–theycan’tstandtheirwomenbeingtouchedbyothermen.’
It’smonstrouslyunfair:butGodmother’stoneisaccepting.IthinkofwhatHimat-Ali-alias-HarioncetoldmewhenIreachedtoliftatinysparrowthathadtumbledfromitsnestonourveranda.
‘Letitbe,’he’dstoppedme.‘Themotherwilltakecareofit.Ifourhandstouchit,theothersparrowswillpeckittodeath.’
‘Eventhemother?’Iasked.
‘Eventhemother!’he’dsaid.
Itdoesn’tmakesense–butifthat’showitis,itis.
‘That’swhyyourmummytellsyoutostaywithHamidaallthetime–orwithus,’saysSlavesisterunctuously.‘Whenyourmothertellsyousomething,it’sforyourowngood.’
Thereshegoesagain:buttinginandmakingseriousmatterstrivial.
‘Hermother’snothere,’saysGodmother.‘Itwon’tdoyouanygoodbutteringherupinherabsence.’
‘AndI’mnotmarriedeither!Itdoesn’tmatterifI’mkidnapped,’Ispeakup.
‘Ohyes?Andwho’llmarryyouthen?It’llbehardenoughfindingsomeoneforyouasitis.’
‘Mummysays:myhusbandwillsearchtheworldwithacandletofindme!’
‘Poorfellow…Hewon’tknowyouthewaywedo,willhe?Yourhusbandwillclutchhisheadinhishandsandweep!’
‘Cousinwantstomarryme!’I’msurprisedhowsmugIfeelsayingit.Idon’tthinkIparticularlywanttomarryCousin–butthoughhehasnotactuallyaskedmeto,Ithinkhehasimpliedit.It’sacomfortingthought.Ifonlyasalastresort.
‘Hehasn’tseenanygirlsbesidesourLameLenny,ThreeForaPenny.Waittillheseestheworld!’saysMiniAunty.
WhatanasininethingtosayaboutmyworldlyCousin!EvenGodmothersuppressesasmile.
‘Kindlygoaboutyourbusiness,’shetellshersister.‘Andstopmessingwiththosepapers!Asitis,Ican’tfindany-thingwhenIwantit.’
‘Whatisthemtterwithyou?’Cousinasks.
‘Nothing.’
I’mfeelingdespondent.WhensomethingupsetsmethismuchIfinditimpossibletotalk.Itusednottobeso.Iwonder:amIgrowingup?AtleastI’vestoppedbabblingallmythoughts.
Thisidiocyofbottled-upemotionscan’tbeasymptomofgrowingup,surely!MorelikelyI’mrevertingtoinfancythewayoldpeopledo.Ifeelsosorryformyself–andforCousin–andforallthesenile,lameandhurtpeopleandfallenwomen–andtheconditionoftheworld–inwhichcountriescanbebroken,peopleslaughteredandcitiesburned–thatIburstintotears.IfeelIwillneverstopcrying.
‘Isyourstomachhurting?’Cousinaskscautiously,afraidofarebuff.
I’mgratefulthathehasstayedhisgroundatleastandnotgonetearingoffonsomepretexttoavoidmyirrationaloutburst.
‘No.’Ishakemyhead.‘I’mnothurting.’
Andthen,ofitsownaccord,mymouthblurts,‘Noonewillmarryme.Ilimp!’AlmostatonceIfeellessag-grieved.
‘ButI’llmarryyou,’volunteersmygallantcousin.
Isearchhisfacethroughmytears.ThankGod,hedoesn’tsoundtheleastmartyred.Icouldn’tbearit.Helooksfondandsincere.Ifindithardtorecallmymultitudinousanguishesofamomentbefore.Ievenfeelalittlefoolish.Andalarmed–lestIirrevocablycommitmyselftoCousin.
‘Aslightlimpisattractive,’saysCousin,solemnandauthoritative.
‘Ohyes?’!say,airingmydoubt.
‘Ilikethewayitmakesyourbottomwiggle.’Hewavestwofingersbackandforth.
Itwiststrenuouslyand,tuggingmyshortdresstautacrossmybuttocks,peerdown.Thereisverylittlebottomtosee.
‘Whenyougrowup,you’llhaveamuchbiggerbottom,’assertsmysolicitousandperceptivecousin.‘Itwilllookveryattractive,then…’hesayssomewhatuncertainly.
Mydeepeningscepticismhasinfectedhimtoo.
‘Ireadastory,’hecontinuesgravely,‘inwhichtheheroinelimped.Heronelegwasshorter.Shedidn’tevenhaveaprettyface.Butherlimpwassosexy,everybodywantedtomarryher!’
Idon’tcareforCousin’ssecond-handconsolations.Inanycase,Idon’twanthimharpingonmylimp.
‘Col.BharuchasaysI’IIstoplimpingbythetimeIgrowup.’
‘Apity,’saysCousin.‘Ifinditattractive.’
‘Icanalwayskeepit,ifyoulike,’Isaypolitely,andfurtherguardingmyoptionsIadd:‘Let’sseehowIfeelaboutmarryingyouwhenIgrowup.’
‘Doyoufindmeattractive?’Cousinsuddenlyasks,gazingcompellinglyintomyeyes.
‘Yes,’Isaycourteously,andavertmyeyes.
‘Howattractive?’Cousinisinsistent.‘Doyouthinkyoucouldlovemepassionately?Dieforme?’
Ireflectamoment.CousincertainlydoesnotarouseinmetheraptureMasseurarousedinAyah…IrecallthebewilderinglongingsthelookonMasseur’sfacestirredinmewhenhelookedatAyah…Andotherstirrings…
‘Idon’tfindyouthatattractive,’Isaytruthfully.
‘Isupposeyou’retooyoung,’saysCousin.‘Youhaven’tknownpassion.’
IopenmyeyeswideandlookdemurelyatCousin,andletitpass.
ButCousincan’t:‘Doyoufindanyonemoreattractivethanme?’
‘Yes,’Isay,‘IthinkIfoundMasseurmoreattractive…’
Isurprisemyself.Mouthingthewordsarticulatesmyfeelingsandrevealsmyselftome.
‘Buthewasold!’saysCousinequallysurprised.
IsuddenlyfeelshyandCousinlooksunutterablydejected.Ithinkmysuddenshynessconvinceshimofmywaywardheartmorethananyprotestationswould.
‘Whoelsedoyoufindattractive?’Cousinasks,managingtowipehisfaceandvoiceofallexpression.
‘OhIdon’tknow…TherewasalittleSikhboy…’
‘Domeafavour,’Cousinsays.‘Thinkaboutallthepeopleyoufindmoreattractivethanme–andletmeknow.’IhavebeensoengagedbymyreactiontothenamesnamedthatIfailtonoticethebitternessandsarcasmthathavecreptintohisvoice.
Ilookaboutmewithneweyes.Theworldisathrobwithmen.Aslongastheyhavesomepleasingattribute–height,width,orbeautyofface–nomanistoooldtoattractme.Ortooyoung.Tongawallahs,knife-sharpeners,shopkeepers,policemen,schoolboys,Father’sfriends,allexerttheircompellingpullonmyrunawayfantasiesinwhichIamrecurringlyspiritedawaytoremoteHimalayanhideouts;theretobeworshipped,foughtover,diedfor,importunedandwooeduntil,arousedtoapassionthattinglesfrommyscalpintotheverytipsofmyfingers,Ifinallypermitmylovertolayhishandsuponmychest.Itisnosmallbestowaloffavour,formychestisnolongerflat.
Twolittlebumpshaveeruptedbeneathmynipples.Fleshofmyflesh,exclusivelymine.AndIamhardputtoprotectthem.IguardthemwithapossessivepassionbesidewhichmypassionforpossessingRosy’slittleglassjarspales.OnlyImaytouchthem.NotCousin.NotImamDin.NotAdi.Notanybody.Ican’ttrustanyone.
NotevenMotherwhohastakentobathingme;andwithhercharacteristicprimandsolemnexpressionbunchesherfingersroundthemandgoes:‘Pom-pom.’
‘Letme,letme…’saysCousinandpokeshishandoutevery-which-wayeverychancehegets.Ifinditfatiguingtomaintainmydistancefromhim.
AndfromAdi,whoresolutelymaterialiseswheneverI’mbathingandglueshiseyetoacrackinthebathroomdoor.WhenHamidablocksit,Adishiftstoanothercrack:andwhenthattooisplugged,hejumpsupanddownonaledgeoutsidethebathroomwindowwitharaptdeterminationthatislikeanelementalforce.HearingHamida’stwitteringremonstrancesandmyshrillscreams,ImamDinemergesroaring:‘WaittillIcatchyou,youshamelessbugger,’andcarriesAdi,wigglingandkicking,towardsthekitchen.I,peeroutofthewindowandAdi’sface,flushedwithacoldrage,bodesillforanyideasImamDinmighthaveofsittinghimonhislap.EvenImamDincouldnothandlethatfrustratedcobrafury.
Asthemoundsbeneathmynipplesgrow,myconfidencegrows.ItellImamDintoholdAdiinthekitchen,pushHamidaoutofthebathroomandlockthedoor.Iexaminemychestinthesmallmirrorhangingatananglefromthewallandplaywiththemaswithcuddlytoys.Whatwithmylimpandmyburgeoningbreasts–andtheprojectedgirthandwiggleofmyfuturebottom–IfeelassuredthatIwillbequiteattractivewhenI’mgrownup.
CousinwalkswithmeandHamidatothebazaarsandgardens,rideswithusintongas,andIdutifullypointouttohimallthemenandboysIfindappealing.‘Seetheboywiththecutelittlebuckteeth?’Iask.‘Icoulddieforhim!’and‘Look-look-look,’IsayphysicallyturningCousin’shead.‘Lookatthatfellowinthetongawithhisfeetup!’
‘I’mkeepingtabs,’saysCousinmournfullyafterthishasgoneonforsomedays.‘YouareattractedbyroughlytenpercentofthemalepopulationinLahore.’
‘Isthattoomuch?’Ienquire.
‘Whynotme?’Cousindemands,ignoringmyquestion.‘What’swrongwithme?’
‘You’retooyoung,maybe.’
‘Butsomeoftheboysyoulikedareyounger…I’llgrowup!’
MyheartsinkssadlyformyCousin.Whydon’tIfeelallsuffocatedandshywhenI’mwithhim?Itrytofathommyemotions.
‘MaybeIdon’tneedtoattractyou.You’realreadyattrac-ted,’Isay.
ItislikethatwithCousin.Heevenshowsmeme!
I’veadmitteditbefore:Ihaveawaywardheart.Weak,susceptibleandfickle.ButwhydoIcallitmyheart?Andblamemyblamelessheart?Andnotblameinsteadtheincandescenceofmywomb?’
Chapter27
Ispendhoursontheservants’quarters’rooflookingdownonthefallenwomen.Theturnover,astheyarerescued,sortedoutandrestoredtotheirfamilies,issorapidthatIcanbarelykeeptrackofthenewfacesthatappearandsosoondisappear.Thecampisgettingcrowded.Ifthisiswheretheybringkidnappedwomen,thisiswhereI’llfindmyAyah.
HamidaknowswheretofindmewhenMotherasksforme–orwhensomeoneisgoingtoGodmother’sonanerrandandthinksoftakingmealong.Sometimes,furtivelyclimbingthestairs,Hamidasitsquietlywithmeandtogetherwelookatthedazedanddullfaces.Iftheylookupwesmile,andHamidamakeslittlereassuringgestures;butthewomenonlylookbewilderedandrarelysmileback.
Iwonderaboutthewomen’schildren.Don’ttheymisstheirmothers?Ipraythattheirhusbandsandfamilieswilltakethemback.Hamidaseldommentionsherchildren.AllI’vebeenabletogetoutofheristhatshehastwoteenagesonsandtwodaughters,oneasoldasmeandoneyounger.
‘Theyoungestwasjustbeginningtowalk,’saysHamidaonecrispafternoonaswesunourselvesontheroof.Hamidahascometofetchmeforlunch,butsheiswillingtostayforawhile.
‘Don’tyoumissyourchildren?’Iask.
‘Ofcourse,’saysHamida.
‘Thenwhydon’tyougotoseethem?’
‘Theirfatherwon’tlikeit.’
‘Theymustmissyou.Youcouldseethemsecretly,couldn’tyou?’
‘No,’saysHamidaturningherfaceaway.‘They’rebetteroffastheyare.Mysister-in-lawwilllookafterthem.IftheirfathergetstoknowI’vemetthemhewillonlygetangry,andthechildrenwillsuffer.’
‘Idon’tlikeyourhusband,’Isay.
‘He’sagoodman,’saysHamida,hidingherfacebashfullyinherchuddar.‘It’smykismetthat’snogood…wearekhut-putli,puppets,inthehandsoffate.’
‘Idon’tbelievethat,’Isay.‘Cousinsayswecanchangeourkismetifwewantto.Thelinesonourpalmscanalsochange!’
Hamidagivesmeaqueerquizzicallook.‘Haveyouheardoftheprincewhowaseatenbyatiger?’sheasks.
‘No,’Isay,shakingmyheadandsettlingcomfortablyagainsttheroofwalltolisten.
Itistheperfectdayforastory.Thesuniswarmonourskins,castingaquiet,lazyspellontheafternoon.ItisthefirststoryHamidatellsme.LaterIdiscovershehasafundofunusualanddepressinglittletales.
Onceuponatimetherewasakingwhohadnochildren,saysHamida.Nightanddaythekingandhisqueenprayedforason.Theytravelledafar,visitingoneholy-manafteranother,andvisitedalltheshrinesofsaintsintheirkingdom.Thequeenwovetemplesarisforthevariousgoddesses,stuckflowersintheirimagesandcoveredthegoddesseswithgold.
Onenightthekinghadadream.Inhisdreamaraggedholy-manwithwildhairsaid:‘O,king,yourdearestwishwillbegranted.Beforetheyearisoutyouwillhaveason.Butyouhaveaccumulatedanunfavourablekarma.Inyourpastlifeyouweredisobedienttoyourguruand,attimes,evenirreverent.Youwillbepunishedforyourinsolence.Yoursonwillbeeatenbyatigerinhissixteenthyear.’
Asforetold,theroyalcouplewasblessedwithabeautifulson.Thekingandqueenrejoicedanddiligentlydistributedfoodandmoneyamongtheirpoorersubjectstoimprovetheconditionoftheirkarmasandearnblessings.
Thekingdecreedthatalltigersbehuntedandkilled.Heorganisedtigerhuntsandrodeattheheadoftheelephantcavalrytodecimatethebeastsroundedupbythedrummers.Heofferedhandsomerewardsforthepeltsbroughtbythehunters.
Theprincegrewtallandbeautiful.Hewascompassionateandfilledwithlaughter.Themoretheylovedhimthemorehissubjectsfearedtheprophecy.
Bythetimetheprincewastenyearsoldtheyhadkilledallthetigersand,asanaddedprecaution,allthedomesticandalleycats:forwhatisacatifnotaminiaturetiger?Thetigersinthesurroundingkingdomswerealsokilled.
Astheprincegrewolderheyearnedtohunt:andatlastthekingwassatisfiedthatitwassafefortheprincetoventureintotheforest.Mostpeoplehadforgottenwhatatigerevenlookedlike!
Thefatefulyeardawned.Theprinceturnedsixteen.
Onceagainthewild-hairedholy-manappearedintheking’sdream.‘Thetigerwhowilleattheprinceisalreadynear,’hesaidtothetremblingking.
Againthehuntersbeatthebushesandsearchedthewoods.Therewerenopugmarksordroppingseven–notracetoshowthattigershadonceinhabitedtheforests.
Theprincewasconfinedtothepalace.Hewasneverleftunattended.Huntsmenpatrolledtheforestsandarmedguardsthepalacegates.
Thekingandqueenprayedmore,fastedoftener,anddidallmannerofpenance.Thekinggavehisfinerobestothebeggarsandworethecoarsegarmentsofthefakirs.Hedistributedlargeportionsofhiswealthamongthepooranddonatedfortunestoshrines,mosques,templesandchurches.Heundertookvowsandoathsthatwouldbindhimtoalifetimeofpenitenceifhissonwasspared.
Theyearwasalmostpast.Theking,inhispenitent’ssackcloth,wasdiscussingaffairsofstateinthedarbarwhentheprincewalkedin.Thekingmaderoomforhissononthemarbletakth,coveredwithsilkrugs.Theassemblybowedtilltheprincesettledamidstthevelvetcushionsandsignalledthemtosit.Helaybackonthebolstersandafterawhilehefellasleep.
Thedarbarwasalmostoverwhentheprinceawakenedfromaterrifyingdream.Hisfrightenedeyesopenedonafinelywroughthuntingscenepaintedontheceiling.Royalhuntsmen,spearspoisedinvaryingattitudesofattack,surroundedafiercetiger,bare-fangedandrichlystriped.Suddenlytheprincescreamedandcried:‘Oh!Thetiger!Thetiger!He’sgotme!’Hefellbackandwrithinginagonydied.
Inthepandemoniumthatfollowed,theking’seyesquicklytracedthepathofhisson’scongealedstare:and,horrified,hesawthelifelikeglowontherichpeltdim,andthetiger’sshiningeyesreverttoyellowpaint!
Hamida,whohasbeengawkingskywardslikethehorrifiedmonarch,returnshalfwaytoearthandlooksatme.
ButI’minnomoodtocountenancetragedy.Despitetheunnaturalangleofmyupendedhairs,despitetheacceleratedbeatofmyheart,despitethegloamingimagesofthescreamingprinceandthechillonmyskinIrendthestorywithsavagelogic.Iftheking’skarmawassolousyhowcomehewasking?Andwhyshouldthepoorprincesufferforhisfather’s…?Andhowcanapaintedtiger…?
‘Perhapsit’snotsounrealasitisunfair!’Iconclude.
‘WhatdoesFatecare?’saysHamidawithplacidandomniscientcertainty.‘That’swhyitisfate!’
Webecomestill:cockingourearstoadinanduproarcomingfromthekitchen.
‘ImamDin’scaughtthebilla!’saysHamida,hernarrowfacelightingup.AndjustasAyahandIrantothebackatthesoundsofstrugglewithHari’sdhoti,wenowruntowardsthekitchen:Hamidaholdingmebythehandandmyfeetflyingtomatchherlongstrides.
Neighboursandtheservantsalreadyformasmallcrowd.ImamDin,onelegonthegroundandoneonthekitchensteps,hasahugeblackandbattle-scarredcattrappedinthescreendoorandispressinghiswholeweightontheframetoholdtheslipperyintruder.Thecat,caughtbelowitsribs,issuspendedafootoffthefloor.Franticallytwisting,itsteethbared,thepanickedcreatureisspittingwildly.
ImamDinroars:‘That’llteachyoutosneakintothekitchen,youone-earedmonster!Makeallthenoiseyouwant!I’mnotlettinggoofyou,youbadmashbilla!’
Thecrowdoutsidethekitchengrowsasmorepeoplerunupfromtheroad.Someoneshouts:‘Thattomsneaksintoourkitchentoo!Teachthefellow!’andsomeoneelseyells:‘Hesurewon’tpokehissnoutintoyourpansagain!’AndYousafyells,‘That’senough,yaar!Baskar!’andImamDinsays,‘ThistimeI’mgoingtoteachhim…It’sthethirdtimeI’vecaughtthethug!Pokeyournoseintothemilkwillyou?’
‘Lethimgo,’Iscream.‘He’lldie.’
‘He’snotabouttodie,’saysHamida.‘He’satougholdalleycat!’
TheMorrisrollsupthedriveandcomestoastopintheporch.Motherbeepsthehornandshouts:‘What’sgoingon?’
ImamDinissointentonchastisingthecatthathedoesn’thearher,andobliviousofherpresenceroarsinvectiveatthecaterwaulinganimal.
‘Lethergoatonce!’screamsMother,slammingshutthedoorofthecar.Shecannotseethecat’sgender–itissecretedbehindthedoor–buttherestofusseemtoknowit’sahim.
MothergrabsholdofImamDin’sshirtandpullsbutIdon’tthinkheevennotices.
‘Getthefly-swat,Lenny!’screamsMotherinanabsolutefrenzy.
Idashinandfetchthefly-swatwithalongreedhandleandawire-meshflap.Mothersnatchesitfrommyhandand,wavingherarmsinanawkwardlyfeminineandenergeticway,swatsImamDinwithit.Shestrikeshislegs,arms,shoulders,andevenhisshavenhead.
AllatonceImamDinletsgothedoorandgripshisarm.Thesurprisedcatboundsdownthestepsandspittingandbouncinglikeacharredfire-crackerstreakszigzaggingpastthestartledcrowd.
ImamDinturnstofaceMother.Glassesdramaticallyawry,faceflushed,shecontinuestowhackhim.ImamDinlooksbewildered–andsearchesconfusedlyforthefliessheisswattingonhisperson.Whenherealisesherfuryisdirectedathim,hisbewildermentturnstoincredulity,andthentoshock.Heholdsouthishandandlikeamantakingawayadangeroustoy,snatchesthefly-swatfromMother.Heexaminesitasifhe’sneverseenafly-swatbefore.
SurprisedatbeingsoperemptorilydisarmedMotheryells:‘Getoutofmysight!Duffaho!’
Largetearswellingfromhisoldeyes,ImamDinturnshisbroadbackonher,andfollowedbymyexcitedmotherwalkszombie-likeintothecrowd.AbsorbedandprotectedbythecrowdImamDinscrutinisesthetearsinhisshirtandthefinelinesofbloodcongealingonhisforearms.
‘Shameonyou!Tormentingasmallcat!Getoutofmysight!’Mothershoutsoncemore,andwhirlingaroundinhersilksariandtintedglassesmatchesinside.
‘Look!’saysImamDintothesympatheticcrowd.‘Ican’tbelieveit…Shedrewblood!’
‘Itwasonlya,fly-swat,yaar,’saysYousaftakingholdofhisarm.Heshoutsatthegawkers:‘What’stheretosee?Goon,pushoff!’
Mutteringandlaughingamongthemselvesthecrowdbreaksup.Somevaultthewallstoneighbouringhousesandsomewalkdownthedrivetotheroad.
YousafleadsImamDinintothekitchen.HamidaandIfollow.Hamidasayinginherconciliatoryandsubmissivemanner:‘WhatifBaijeehadawhip,brother?Whatwouldyou’vedonethen?Oh,ho!Lookatthetearsinyourclothes,’sheexclaims.‘Tch-tch-tch!Don’tworry.I’llsewthemsothey’lllooklikenew!’
ImamDinrefusestohavehisclothesmendedandremainssullenallafternoon.
WhenFatherreturnslateintheeveningImamDinpresentshimselfbeforeFather’sbicycleandwithamostinjuredcountenancesays:‘Baijeestruckmewithafly-swat!Ibled!’
Fatherplaceshiscycleonitsstandandraisinghisbrowsinaclutchofsurprisedwrinkleslooksatusoutofbaffledeyes.
‘ImamDincaughtthebillainthekitchendoor,andwouldn’tlethimgo.AndMummyhithimwiththefly-flapper,’Iexplain.
FatherturnshisastonishedeyesuponImamDin.
Turningandtwisting,ImamDindisplaysascatteredandspiderymeshofwoundswherethewirescratchedhim.‘This…Andthis.Andseethis!’hesaysstretchingthesmalltearsinhislungiandshirt.
Fatherlockshiscycle.Makingafewcluckingnoisesofinsinceresympathyhepreparestogoin,whenMotherburstsoutofbangingspringdoorsshouting:‘StopsnivellinginfrontofSahib,youbigidiot!You’reluckyitwasonlyafly-flap!Goin,someone,andgethimbangles.Ifhewhineslikeawomanhemustwearbangles!’
DespitehershoutingMothersoundsgood-humouredandwereleaseoursuppressedlaughter.EvenFathercannotsuppresshistightlittlesmile.
ShakinghisheadsheepishlyImamDinamblesofftowardsthekitchenandMotherlaughsandclingstoFatherandFathercontinuestosmile,despiteherclinging,andsays:‘Thefly-flap’supsethim.Ifyou’dusedastickhewouldn’thavemindedsomuch.’
AdiandIlaughandlaughandhugFatherandourclingingmother.Ifeeldeliriouslylight-hearted.SodoesAdi.FatherhasspokendirectlytoMother:addressingherinsteadofthewalls,furniture,ceiling–orusingusasdeflectingconduitstosoundhismessagesoff.Itisbecominganincreasinglyrareoccurrence–thisbusinessofhistalkingtoourmother:outofpublicorpartyviewthatis.
***
Andsuddenly,thehuntforAyahisoff.Isenseit.SodoesAdi.
Theyonlypretendtolookforher.MotherstilltakesoffintheMorrisbutIknowitisnottolookforAyah.Icantellbythewaythecar’swheelsflattenonthestonesandbythedeterminedangleofSkinny-aunt’schin–thatthecar’sdickyisloadedwithpetrol.TheycansetfiretotheworldforallIcare!IwantmyAyah.
Chapter28
Itisabadphaseinmylife.EvenCousinisavoidingme.Ihaven’tseenhimforaweek.ImusttalktohimaboutmyconcernsorI’llcrackup.AdiandIgoovertoElectric-aunt’s.Cousinisstudyingforhisexams.
‘Idon’tknowwherethesunrisesthesedays,’saysElectric-auntinawedandperplexedpleasure,holdingthescreendooropenandusheringusin.‘Yourcousindoesn’twishtobedisturbedevenbyyou!’Shelooksatmearchlyandflashesallherlittlegoat’steethinaconceitedsmile.
Electric-auntpartsthenavy-bluecurtainsand,pokingonlyherheadthrough,quietlywhispers:‘LennyandAdiarehere,dear.Won’tyouseethemforjustfiveminutes?’
SinceIcan’thearhisresponse,andI’mdeterminedtoseehim,Ithrowhimaline:‘AllworkandnoplaymakesJackadullboy!’
Iknowhe’llbite.ImaginegettingawaywithcallingCousindull.
Cousindriftsintothesittingroominhislongshortsandshortsocks,lookingallstand-offishandpreoccupied,andgreetsusunenthusiastically.Heperchesontheedgeofthethree-piecesofa,tiltinghislegsprimlytoonesideand,asifhe’sagrownmanmasqueradinginshortlegs,makesdesultorysmalltalkwithAdi.Hedoesn’tevenlookatme.ExceptwhenIforcehimtobyaddressinghiminsistently–andthenheglancesmywaybrieflyandcoldly,beforeagainbestowinghisattentiononAdi.Toleavenodoubtofhistediumatourpresencehefoldsthenewspaperintoastiffbatand,withnerve-rackingspringsandexplosivewhacks,swatsfliesonthesofas,tablesandradiotop.
Electric-auntcoversherears.‘Oh!Dostopbeingsojumpy,dear,’sheexclaimsand,likeanangularstreakofzigzaglightning,dartsfromtheroom.
Cousinperchesonthesofaagain,elegantlycrossinghisanklesthistimeandhastily,beforehehasachancetospringupandswatmoreflies,Iwhisper:‘They’vestoppedlookingforAyah!’
‘Havethey?’saysCousin,lookingdownatmecoolly,andturnstoAdiasifI’vesaidsomethingasuneventfulanduncomplicatedas:‘GodmotherrappedMiniAunty’sknuckleswithherpunkah!’
Ican’tunderstandit.I’mfurious.‘Let’sleavehimtohisdrearystudies,’Isaywitheringly.ButAdi,whohasnotreceivedsuchsingularattentionfromCousinsincethetimehewasalmostkidnappedandbaskedfortwodaysinglory,isreluctanttoleave.Ihavetodraghimaway.
***
Itisunnerving.ThemorealoofCousinbecomes,themoreIthinkabouthim.Ifindmyday-dreams,forthefirsttime,occupiedbyhisstubbypersonandadenoidalvoice.Theyarepedestrianandcolourlesscomparedtomycavemanandkidnapperfantasies,buttheyareascompletelyengrossing.Ithrill.Ifeeltinglesshootfrommyscalptomytoetips.AndCousin’sproximity,comparedtotheremotenessofimaginedloverstuckedawayinunseenwildernesses,drivesmetorecklessexcess.
Againstallmyinstinctsandsenseofdignity,IchaseCousin.IhangaroundElectric-aunt’shouseandaroundCousin–whenhetoleratesmypresence.Ifetchhimglassesofwaterandbunchesofgrapesandsharpenhispencilsandcopyouthishomeworkandfollowhimwhereverhegoes.IfhegoesintothebathroomIwaitpatientlyoutsidethedoor–hungeringforanycrumbshemightthrowbywayofaloofcommentorobservation.Theseherestricts–likemyfatherwithMother–toimpatientanddisparagingmonosyllables,mutesignalsandiratescowls.
AndwhileIhangaboutCousin,myeyeshangonhim,andIshamelesslyandeloquentlyogleCousin.
‘Areyouinlovewithhimorsomething?’Adiasksartlessly,butIcatchaslyglitterattheedgeofhiseyeswhenheturnsaway.Idon’tcare.Lethimthinkwhathelikes.
RannastillvisitsusonSundays,ifhegetsarideonabicycleorinacart.ButthisSundaywhenhecomes,hisscarscoveredbycrispwhitecotton,hisbruisedfaceeager;thoughmyheartgoesouttohim,mymindisfilledwiththoughtsofCousin.Mytimeconsumedinhispursuit.Rannatagsalong.Butafterthishevisitslessfrequently.HegoestoImamDin’svillageinstead,tobewithhisuncleandNonichachiandhiscousins.Inanycasewearegrowingapart.Itisinevitable.Thesocialworldsweinhabitaretoodifferent;ourinterestsdivergent.
***
Cousinisrestoredtomeonagreatsurgeofexcitementwhenheburstsintomyroomandboltingthedoorbreathesintomyear,‘IsawAyah!’
MyheartpoundssowildlyIcannotspeak.Where?Here?Inourhouse?ButthenCousinwouldn’thaveboltedthedoor.AyahmustbeattheRecoveredWomen’sCamp!
‘Whereisshe–inthecamp?’Iask,voicingmyassump-tion.Andfeelingweak-kneed,Isitonthebed.
‘Isawherinataxi.AtCharingCross,’saysCousin,breathingsocloseI’mforcedtolieback.Lookingannoyinglycomplacentandplacinganarmoneithersideofme,Cousin,thebearerofgreatgoodnews,therestorerofwithheldwarmth,bearsdownonme:andinthatinstantIrealisethathisaloofnesswasonlyashamcalculatedtoarousemyardour.Bentonfurtherpleasuringme,squashinghispantingchestonmyflattenedbosom,Cousingivesmeasoggykiss.PoorCousin.Hissenseoftimingisallwrong.ThenewsaboutAyahhascooledmypassion.Pushinghimbackandholdinghimatarm’slength,Isay,‘Ifyoudon’ttellmeeverythingatonce,I’llkneeyourballs!’(Ihavegrownup!)‘Whowasshewith?Whereisshe?’
Cousin,resuminghisaloofstance,examineshisnailsandsnottilysays:‘Isaid,Isawherinataxi.Youknow…passby.’
‘Youcouldhavefollowedthetaxi,’Ihowl.
‘How?Ihaveenginesinmylegs?’
I’mnotperturbedbyhissarcasmorhisdisdain.Hiscoldnessisahoaxanyway.
‘Didsheseeyou?Howdidshelook?Didyouwave?’
‘Idon’tthinkshesawme,’saysCousin,thawingbeforemyimportunatequeries.‘Shewasallmadeup!’
‘Really?Tellme!Whatdoyoumean,madeup?’
IscrambleacrossthebedonmykneesandgrabCousinbyhiscurlyhair.
‘Likeafilmactress,’hesays.
Cousinturnsinordertoaccommodatetherestofhisbodytohistwistedneckand,focusinghiseyesonmychest,carefullyplaceshishandsonmybreasts.Idrawback,slappinghishandstillmypalmssting,feelingsickandallshrivelledup.
Cousinlooksatme,lovesickandsheepish,hisspankedfingersquiveringguiltilyonhisthighs.
‘Ifyoueverdothatagain,I’llbreakyourfingers,knucklebyknuckle,’Isayseverely.(Thepreviousthreatappearstohavehadnoeffect–hencethechangedperspective.)
‘ButIloveyou,’saysCousin.Asifthatcondoneshislasciviousconduct.
‘WellIdon’t!’
‘Thenwhydidyouhangaroundme?Andmakeallthosefunnyeyesandstareatme?’
‘Iwon’tanymore.Youwereonlypretendingtobestand-offish!You’reaphoney!’
‘Ha!Itworked,didn’tit?Ihadyoupantingwithpassion!’
‘Youdidn’t!’
‘Oh,yes?Look,’saysCousin,conciliatory:‘Iloveyou.ButIcan’tpretendnottoallmylifejustsoyou’llrunafterme.’
‘You’resupposedtochaseme!’Isay.‘Boysaresupposedtochasegirls!’
‘Butyourunaway!’
‘It’sonlywhenyouputyourhandshereandthereandeverywhere.’
‘Evenbeforeyougrewyourbreastsyoudidn’tloveme,’saysCousinbitterly.‘Youfindeverybodybutmeattractive!’
‘Ican’thelpit.Ifthat’sthewayIfeel–that’showitis.’
Thenextday,angrilyhaulingmebymyorgandysleevebeforeGodmother,Cousincomplains,‘ShelovesapproximatelyhalfofLahore…Whycan’tsheloveme?’
Godmother,inherwisdom,says:‘It’ssimplyacaseofGharkimurg;dalbarabar.Aneighbour’sbeansaretastierthanhouseholdchickens.’
‘Butshe’sjustahouseholdchicken,too!StillIloveher!’wailsCousin,hisnasalvoicecrackingandsqueaking.Passiondoesmakeonesilly…Ishouldknow!Ifeelawfullysorryforhim.
‘Don’tworry,’saystheslave,waddlingupandmussinghishair.‘It’sonlypuppylove.Wait’llyoustartnoticingyourneighbouringchicks!’
‘So?’demandsGodmother.‘WhatabouttheyoungcocksLennywillnotice?’
‘Yes?Whataboutthem?’Irepeat.
IfCousinwasn’ttryingsohardtobemanful,he’dbecrying.
Wearriveatacompromise,afinelydelineatedcovenant:Iwillkeepanopenmindandletbygonesbebygones,andCousinwillstopwooingmeandwaitacoupleofyearsbeforetouchingmybreastsagain.WeshallseehowIfeelaboutitthen.
InthemeantimeCousinsensiblysetsaboutbecomingindispensable.Knowingthewaytomyheart,hescurriesabouttryingtofindoutthewhereaboutsofAyah.Hebringsmerumours,andactingonthemisleadingleads,wastesenergyonfutileforaysintotheremotest,seediestandmostdangerouspartsofthecongestedcity.
Chapter29
Andthen,lateoneevening,I,too,seeAyah.Itdoesn’tregisteratonce.Itisonlyafterthetaxihasdrivenpast,slowingatthecornerofMozangChawkandTempleRoad,thatIrealisethattheflashywomanwiththeblazinglipstickandchalkypowderandahugepinkhibiscusinherhair,andunseeingeyesenlargedlikeanactress’swithkohlandmascaraedeyelashes,sittingsquashedbetweentwothinpoets,wasAyah.
IntheeveningIpesterHamidatotakemetotheQueen’sGarden.Shehasnevertakenusthere.Shesaysshefeelsshysittingamongallthosestrangers.
WhenIfinallygethertoagreetotakeus,MotherannouncesthatGodmotherwantsAdiandmetospendthenightwithher.
DrManekModyisvisitingagain,andhewishestoseeus.
***
‘It’sthethirdtimeI’vetoldyoutoputthewatertoboil!’scoldsGodmotherfromherbed.‘What’sthematterwithyou?TheDemonofLazinessfinallygetyou?’
‘I’mgoing,I’mgoing.’Slavesister’sstring-bedcreaksasshestandsupinhercrumplednightie.‘Rodabai,youaresoimpatient.Really…’
‘I’mimpatient?Doyouknowwhattimeitis?DoyouknowManekattendedtothemilkmanwhileyourLazyshipsnored?’
DrManekModypeepsalertlyfrombehindhisrustlingnewspaper.Havingbeenawakeforanhour,he’sreadyforexcitement.
Adistirsbesidemeandsitsupsleepily.Ipropmyselfuponmyelbows.
‘Eventhechildrenawakebeforeyou,’saysGodmothersternly.
‘Shame,shame,’saysDrModyfastidiouslyholdingthetipofhisnose.‘Poppyshame!’
Slavesister’srat-tailbraidhascomelooseanduntidystrandsofgreyinghairplasterherneckandback.AlthoughitisonlythemiddleofAprilwerequiretheceilingfanthatisgroaningroundandround.Slavesisterwipeshermoistfaceonhersleeve.
‘Ithinkthedemonhasfoundpermanentlodginginher!’muttersGodmother.
Abandoningthenewspaper,thedoctorspringsoutofhischair,saying,‘I’llexorcisethedemon.Iknowhow!’
TiltingforwardandextendinghisindexfingerhesaystoMiniAunty:‘Here,pullit.’
‘Don’tbesilly,Manek,’saysMiniAunty.
‘Comeon,pull,’coaxesthedoctor,lookinglikeabrown-domedelf.‘Iswear,you’llhearthedemonleave.’
TheflapsofAdi’searsmoveforward.He’sthatcurious.SoamI.
Godmother,proppedonherpillows,displaysasolemnface.Butcuriosityandamusementquiverinthetensionofherrestrainedmuscles.
‘DoasManeksays,’sheorders,asifinstructingachildtodrinkMilkofMagnesia.
Ignoringherandshakingherhead,Slavesistercarriesherdrowsy,martyr’ssmileintothekitchen.
DrModyrushesinafterherand,listingforwardonceagain,pointshisfinger.
‘Please,MiniAunty,pleasepullit,’AdiandIclamour,crowdingintothekitchen.
Godmotherlowersherfeettothefloorand,sittingforwardonhercot,peersatus.‘Yourhandwon’tfalloffyouknow,’shecalls.‘Here’ssomeoneperfectlywillingtoexorciseyourdemonsandwhatdoyoudo?Insulthim!’
‘He’sadoctor,notamagician!’saysSlavesister.
‘Ipractiseexorcisminmysparetime–didn’tyouknow?Tryit…Myfingerwon’texplode.’
‘Stubbornasadonkey!’decreesGodmotherthroughthedoor.
‘Please,MiniAunty,beasport,’Ibeg.Adiissoexcited,andsonervousthattheexorcismmaynotmaterialise–ortakeplaceinhisabsence–thathedancesfromfoottofootandhastearsinhiseyes.
‘Oh,allright!’saysSlavesister,suddenlycapitulating.Shetugsatthedoctor’sfingerand,acquiringanairofintenseconcentration,thegifteddoctorfarts.
Hestandsupstraightandlooksasstartledasus.‘Somedemon!Didyouhearhim?Healmosttoremyass!’
‘Muchobligedtoyou,Manek,’callsGodmotherfromherbed.
‘Whatd’youhaveinyourstomach?Atombombs?’enquiresMiniAunty,givingthedoctorawhackonhischest.
‘That’snowaytotreatanexorciser,’thedoctorsays,staggeringbackastepandlookingatherwithaslightedcountenance.
‘Itis,’saysMiniAunty,givinghimanotherwhack.
‘Behaveyourself,Mini!’shoutsGodmotherfromthebedroom.‘Thepoormanriskedhislifeforyou!’
‘Howdidyoudothat?’asksAdi,hislegsperfectlystill,hisfaceagog.
‘Prayerandpractice,’saysDrMody.‘Here,pullmyfinger.’
HetiltsforwardandAditugsathispointingfinger.Withcompressedlipsandquiveringchinthedoctorletslooseacracklingbatteryofcrispwind.AgainAdipullsandagainhefarts.
‘Metoo,Iclamour.
Thedoctorobliginglydirectshisfingeratme.WhenIpullnothinghappens.I’mdisappointed.
‘Toobad,’saysthedoctor.‘Youhavenodemonstoday.We’lltrytomorrow.’
InthenextthreedaysCousin,AdiandIarepossessedbyaposseofdemonssonumerousthatthedoctorishardpressedtoexorcisethem.HedirectsMiniAuntytofeedhimhugequantitiesofwhathecallsanti-demonpotions:andGodmother’sroomsreekofcabbage,beansandhard-boiledeggs.
Sinceweallingestthesamenourishment,Ifallasleeptoamedleyofwinds:thedoctor’smagnificentexplosions,Godmother’sandSlavesister’smutedput-putterings,Old-husband’sbassbubblingsandAdi’sandmyhigh-pitchedandprotractedeeeeeeeps.
Oldhusband?He’sstillinhabitingthepages?
Clearly,hehasnot,asI’dthought,passedaway.
Lethimstay,asweallstay,inGodmother’stalcum-powderedandintrusivewake.
***
Icannotbelievemyeyes.TheQueenhasgone!Thespacebetweenthemarblecanopyandthemarbleplatformisempty.Agroupofchildren,playingknuckles,squatwherethegunmetalqueensatenthroned.Bereftofherpresence,thestructurelooksunwomaned.
Thegardenscenehasdepressinglyaltered.MuslimfamilieswhoaddedcolourwhenscatteredamongtheHindusandSikhs,nowmonopolisethegarden,deprivingitofcolour.Eventhechildren,coveredinbrocadesandsatins,cannotalleviatetheausterityoftheblackburkasandwhitechuddarsthatshroudthewomen.Itisastonishing.TheabsenceofthebrownskinthatshowedthroughthefineveilsofHinduandSikhwomen,andbeneaththedhotiesandshortsofthemen,haschangedthecomplexionofthequeenlessgarden.Therearefewerwomen.Moremen.
Hamida,herheadandtorsomodestlycoveredbyhercoarsechuddar,holdingherlanklimbsclose,sitsself-consciouslyonthegrassbyherself.Thereislittlecomfortinlaying
myheadonherrigidlap.
AdiandIwanderfromgrouptogroup,peeringintofacesbeneathwhiteskull-capsandaboveasceticbeards.TheAzanmusthavesounded.Somewomenspreadprayermatsonthegrassandkneelingstarttopray.Ifeeluneasy.LikeHamida,Idonotfit.Iknowwewillnotfindfamiliarfaceshere.
***
‘IsawAyah!Itwasher!’
Itiscooloutside.Thesunhasset–andintheprotractedduskIamstraddlingGodmotherandclutchingherfaceinmyhands.MylegshavegrownsolongIcantouchthegroundwithmytoes.
‘ItmustbesomeonewholookslikeAyah.Withallthatmake-uponit’shardtotell.’
Godmotherisbeingintractable.
‘Isawherwithmyowneyes,’Isay,pullingdowntheskinbeneathmyeyes.
‘Sometimesweonlyseewhatwewishtosee,’saysMiniAunty,issuingthenuggetofwisdomasifshe’sanoracle.‘Anddon’tdothat,’sheadds,‘you’llgrowpouchesunderyoureyes.’
‘IknowthedifferencebetweenwhatIseeandwhatIonlywanttosee,’Ishout.Iwishshewouldn’tintrude.Asitis,it’shardertoconvinceGodmotherthanI’dexpected.Shemustbelieveme.She’stheonlyonewhotakesmeseriously–exceptCousin–andhehasn’tbeenabletounearthanythingyet.
‘ButCousinalsosawher,’Isay.
‘Itcan’tbeher.AyahiswithherfamilyinAmritsar!’Godmotherconveysacertaintythatforaninstantunderminesmine.Itcanonlymeanthathernetworkhasfailedher.Iamdismayed.
‘Howcanyoubesosure?’Iask.
Godmotherhesitates,thenshesays,gravely,‘Askyourmother.’
‘What’sshegottodowithit?’
I’msurprised.It’snotlikeGodmothertopassthebuck.‘What’shappening?’Icry.‘Whyisn’tanyonetellingmeanything?’
‘Lenny,there’ssomethingsbestleftalone,’saysGodmother.
‘Youshouldsendforthefamilyexorcist,Rodabai,’saysMiniAunty.‘Manekwillridherofherstubbornness.’
‘Ifyoucan’tkeepyourmouthshut,goinside,’Godmothersayssharply.Hernostrilsaretwitching.I’veseldomheardhertalktoSlavesisterlikethis–totallywithouthertonguein
hercheek.
Ifeelhopeless.IrubmyrunnynoseandmytearsonGodmother’sblouse.I’mhorriblyfrightenedthatGodmother,despiteallhercannyanduncannyresources,mightbemisled.
AndGodmother,unabletobearmyconfusionandanguish,andguiltybecauseofherowndeviousness,says,‘Lenny,haveyounoticedhowbusyyourmummy’sbeenallyear?Goingoutallthetime?’
Inod.
‘I’lltellyouasecret,’saysGodmother,‘butIwanttobesureyouwon’ttellanyone.Itcouldgetyourmotherintorealtrouble.’
IdrawbackandpermitGodmothertosearchmysolemnfaceandmyhonourableeyes.Shetrustswhatsheseesbecauseshesays:
‘Mummyandyourauntrescuekidnappedwomen.Whentheyfindthem,theysendthembacktotheirfamilies:or,totheRecoveredWomen’sCamps.ShearrangedforAyahtobesenttoherrelatives.Shedidn’twantyoutoknow.Shefeltyouhadacceptedherabsence-you’donlystartfrettingagain.’
Don’tIknowtheywentonfutileAyahhunts?OrweretheyjustpretendingtolookforAyah,usingitasacoverformoresinisteractivities?Doesn’tGodmotherknowaboutthepetrolinthedicky?Doesn’tsheknowthatElectric-auntandMotherweredashingoffarmedwithpetrol-cansandtintedglasseslongbeforeanyonehadevenheardofkidnappedwomen?
ObviouslyGodmotherdoesnotknow.I’mdumb-founded.Godmother,whomakesitherbusinesstoknoweverythingabouteverybody,doesn’tknowaboutthearsonists!Istillliveindreadofmymotherandaunt’simminentarrest.Hand-and-leg-cuffedandjanglingchains!AndGodmother’snaïvetycompoundsmyfear.Sheisslippingdangerously,justwhenhercapabilitiesaremostneeded.Iamtemptedtotellherthetruth,butIbitemywretchedtruth-infectedtonguejustintime.Onebetrayalisenough.I,thebuddingJudas,mustlivewiththeirheinoussecret.
Itisgettingquitedark.Alreadythedewissettlingonourclothes.IshiveronGodmother’slap.Godmothersays,asifmusingaloud:‘Cometothinkofit,wehaven’tseenthatpopsicle-maninalongtime.’
MiniAuntycallsfromwithin,‘You’dbettergetin,orsomeonewillbesneezingherheadofftomorrow.’
***
Cousin,too,bindsmetosecrecy.CrowdingmeintoacornerofRosy-Peter’sstilldesertedroomhewhispersintorayear:‘WanttoknowwhyAyahwasallmadeup?’
Irespondwithabreathlessnod.
‘Becauseshehasconvertedherprofession!’
‘She’sbecomeChristian?’Ienquiretentatively,notknowingwhattomakeoftherevelation.
‘Notherreligion,silly!Herprofession.D’youthinkVirginMary’dbecaughtdeadwearingallthatmake-up?’
‘Idon’tknow,’Iconfess.WhatdoesVirginMaryhavetodowithAyah?
‘Shewouldn’t!’declaresmyknowingCousin.‘AyahhasbecometheoppositeofVirginMary.She’sbecomeadancing-girl!’
‘Anactress!’Iexclaim,enthralled.Thatwouldexplainthemake-up.Theonlydancing-girlsI’veseenareinIndianfilms.
‘Well,’saysCousin,atrifleuncertain.‘Dancinggirlsdogrowintoactressessometimes…’
‘Oh?’Isay,andwaitpatiently.
‘AyahisjustadancerintheHiraMandi…Thered-lightdistrict.’
HiraMandimeansDiamondMarket.Cousinisbeingdeliberatelyobtuse.HeknowshowimportantanynewsofAyahistome.Iwouldliketoshakehim.Instead,likesteppingoneggshells,Iask,‘WhereisthisDiamondMandiwiththeredlight?’
‘BehindtheBadshahimosque.It’swheredancing-girlslive.’
‘Andthediamonds?Whosellsthediamonds?’Iprodgingerly.
‘Therearenorealdiamondsthere,silly.Thegirlsarethediamonds!Themenpaythemtodanceandsing…andtodothingswiththeirbodies.It’stheworld’soldestprofession,’saysCousinasifhe’sutteringprofunditiesinsteadofdrivel.
Mypatienceiswearingthin.Still,‘Whatthings?’Iask.
AlthoughI’mcautiouswithCousin,waryofsurprises,thegullibilitythatmademeclimbastooltoinsertmyfingerintotheACcurrentremains.
Everreadytoilluminate,teachandshowmethings,Cousinsqueezesmybreastsandliftsmydressandgrabsmyelasticisedcottonknickers.Buthavingonlythetwohandstodoallthiswithhecan’tpullthemdownbecausegalvanisedtoactionIgrabthemupandjabhimwithmyelbowsandknees:andturningandtwisting,withmytoesandheels.
Becomingredintheface,Cousinletsmebe.Andstandingapart,andwithexasperation,says:‘Howdoyouexpectmetotellyouwhat?Ifyoudon’tletmeshowyouhow?’
AndCousinstartsalloveragaintoshowme,andpullingmykickingfeetfromunderme,succeedsinde-knickeringme.Andputtinghishandthere,tremblesandtrembles…
UntilIpunchhisearsandshout:‘You’rebreakingyourpromise!’
‘Whotoldyouallthis?’Idemand,pullingmyknickersupandscowling,mysharpelbowsbristlinglikedangerousquillsasIsettledownwarilyinthecorner.
‘Mycooktoldme.’
‘Whichmendosuchthingstoher?’Idemandtoknow.
‘Oh,anymanwhohasthemoney…Mycook,wrestlers,ImamDin,theknife-sharpener,merchants,pedlars,thegovernor,coolies…’
IfthosegrownmenpaytodowhatmycomparativelysmallCousintriedtodo,thenAyahisintrouble.IthinkofAyahtwistingIce-candy-man’sintrusivetoesandkeepingthebutcherandwrestleratarm’slength.Andofthosestrangers’handshoistingherchocolatebodyintothecart.
ThatnightItakeallI’veheardandlearntandbeenshowntobedandbymorningIreeldizzilyonafleetinglyglimpsedandterriblegrown-upworld.
Idecideit’stimetoconfrontMother.
***
IhoundMotherwithamuteanddoggedsullenness.ItisFriday,thedaytoinvokethegreatTroubleEasers,theangelsMushkailAssanandBehramYazd.(IntroubledtimestheyarefrequentlyevokedbytheParsees.)AsMotherpreparesfortheceremony,spreadingawhitesheetonthebedroomfloorandplacingthesmallfirealtarandphotographsofthesaintsonit,shecastsperplexedeyesmyway.ThelessIamabletospeakout,themoreturbulentgrowsthetemperofmypent-upaccusations.Motherkneelsonthefloorandstrikesamatchtolightthejosssticks.Shearrangesthesandalwoodshavingsonthefirealtarandplacesacriss-crossofsmallsandalwoodsticksontopofthem.Sheholdsouttheboxandsays:‘Here,Lenny,wouldyouliketolightthefire?’
Iwhipmyhandsbehindmybackasifshehasofferedmeascorpion.Ishakemychurlishhead.
‘What’sthematter?’sheenquires,onherkneesbeforetheunlitaltar.
Inaharsh,squeakyrushofwordsIcanhardlybelieveareissuingfrommeIhearmyselfsay:‘Don’tthinkwedon’tknowwhatyou’reuptowiththepetrol-cansandmatches!’
MotherlookssobewilderedandalarmedthatIwonderforaninstantifCousin,AdiandIarenotmistaken.Thetwingeofdoubtpasses.
‘Iknowaboutthepetrolinthecar’sdicky!’Iaccuse,onceagainsteadfastinmyrighteousandindignantconviction.
‘Oh?’saysMotherlooking,ifanything,moreperturbedandbaffled.‘Ididn’tthinkitnecessaryyouchildrenshouldknowaboutit…Itcouldbedangerous…’
‘Butwedoknow!’Icry.‘Wearen’tdumb!YouandAuntyshouldbeashamedofyourselves!Deceivingeverybody!PretendingtolookforAyahandinsteadburningLahore!’Icannolongerholdbackmytearsorpreventthetragicbreakinmyvoice.
‘OhmyGod!’Motherexclaims.‘Isthatwhatyouthink?’
Andasunderstandingslowlyreplacestheastonishmentonherface,shepullsmetoherlap.Wipingmytearswithhersofthands,speakingsimplyandgravely,shesays,‘IwishI’dtoldyou…WewereonlysmugglingtherationedpetroltohelpourHinduandSikhfriendstorunaway…Andalsofortheconvoystosendkidnappedwomen,likeyourayah,totheirfamiliesacrosstheborder.’
‘Youshouldhavetrustedme!’Icry,tryingtostaythethreateningsurgeofself-loathingandembarrassmentfromannihilatingme.
‘Yes,’shesays,solemnlyshakingherheadupanddown.‘Ishouldhave!’
Howcouldshehave?Howcananyonetrustatruth-infectedtongue?
***
OnMondayIcomestraighttoGodmother’sfromMrsPen’s.Iremovemysatchel,kickoffmyshoesandIampeelingoffmydampsockswhenGodmotherabruptlysays:
‘Youwereright.AyahisstillinLahore.’
Ifeelgoose-bumpseruptallover.Mybodyfeelsdrainedofstrength.ItotteracrossthecoolcementtoGodmother’sbed.‘Howdidyoufindout?’Iask,whenIamabletogetmybreathback.
‘Ihavemysources,’shesays.
Irealisethequestionwasredundant.
‘Whatdidyoufindout?’Iask.
‘She’smarried.’
‘Iheardshe’sconvertedintoadancing-girl,’Isay.
Godmotheristakenaback.‘Whotoldyouthat?’
‘Cousintoldme,’Isay.‘Hiscooktoldhim.’
‘Sheisn’tadancing-girlanymore:she’sawife.Herhusbandiscomingtoseemethisevening.’
‘IsAyahcoming?’Iaskatonce.
‘Heisn’tbringingher.’
‘Who’sherhusband?’Iaskeagerly.
‘You’llsee.’
***
Ican’twaitforevening.When’sevening?Four?Six?Eighto’clock?Itisalreadythree.Thewatermanissprayingthedrivefromtheleatherpouchslungonhisbackandthefinedustclingsinlittleballstodropsofwater.Icanseehimthroughthescreendoorandsmellthesteamofftheparchedearth.
‘Let’ssitout,’Isayimpatiently.
‘We’llgooutsideatfiveo’clock.Likewedoeveryday,’saysMiniAunty.
‘Can’tItakethechairsoutatleast?’Isayimpatiently.
‘My,my!Onewouldthinksomeonewasexpectingherownbridegroom!He’llcomewhenhecomesandyoursittingoutsidewillnothurryhimthetiniestbit!’
‘Whenyou’vefinishedlayingyoureggsofwisdom,’saysGodmother,‘youcanmakemesometea.’
MiniAunty,sittinginherpetticoatandblouse,fansherselfharder.Herfaceisbeadedwithsweat.‘Letmecooloffabit,’shesays:‘Ihaven’thadamoment’srespiteallday.’
Sheisexaggeratingofcourse.Shehasbeenfloppedinthatarmchairforthepasthalf-hour.
‘Ifyouthinkyouhavetoomuchtocopewithyoucanlivesomeplaceelse,’saysGodmother.
‘Ididn’tsaythat,now,didI?’saysMiniAuntyplacidly.
‘Oh?Ineedtooilmyears?’saysGodmother.‘IthoughtIheardyousayyouwereoverworked.’
MiniAuntygetsupwithasighand,shiftingherweightfromonebulgingbuniontotheother,waddlesintothekitchen.
Byfiveo’clockweareseatedoutside,waiting.Itisoppressivelyhot.Thethin,pointedleavesoftheeucalyptusdroopinbrittleclustersoverourheadsandrattleasthesparrows,twitteringfeverishly,settlefortheevening.Thetable-fanisineffectualagainstthedustsuspendedintheair.
‘We’reboundtohaveadust-storm.It’stoostill,’MiniAuntyremarks.Raisingherpetticoataboveherspreadkneessheflapsapunkahbeforehermodestlyavertedthighs.
‘Iwishyouwouldn’tchattersowitlessly,’saysGodmother,soundingundulyirascible.‘Predictingdust-stormsintheseasonfordust-stormsisnotverybright.’
IstallmyrestlessmovementsonGodmother’slap.Irealisehowtensesheis.Wearealltense,waiting.Itisalmostsixo’clock…thenbehold!Thebridegroomcomes.Lean,lankandloping,inflowingwhitemuslin,raisingdustwithhissandalledfeet,thepoetapproacheth.
OnlynowdoIrealisethatoneoftheleanandlanguidpoetsflankingAyahwasIce-candy-man.
*
Ice-candy-manacknowledgesourpresencethroughdreamykohl-rimmedeyesandremovinghislamb’s-woolJinnahcap,touchinghisforeheadinamuteandprotractedsalaam,squatsbowedbeforeGodmother.Hehasgrownhishairandlongoilystrandscurveonhischeeks.Hesmellsofjasmineattar.
‘Livelong,’saysGodmother,leaningforwardtostrokehisshoulder–andcrushingmeintheprocess.
Ice-candy-manshufflesbackand,pushinghishairbehindhisears,drawsusintotheorbitofhispoeticvision.Hewaitsquietlywhileweabsorbhisincredibletransformation.Hehaschangedfromachest-thrustingpaan-spittingandstruttinggoondaintoaspitlesspoet.Hisnarrowhawkishface,asifrecastinadifferentmould,hassoftenedintoasensuousoval.Heisthinner,softer,droopier:hisstreamofbrashtalkreplacedbyacannysilence.NowonderIdidn’trecognisehiminthetaxi.
‘Wherehaveyoubeenallthesemonths?’exclaimsGodmotherpleasantly.‘Itwasimpossibletotraceyou.Iwasworried.Godforbid,Ithoughtyoudiedintheriots!’
ForastartledinstantIce-candy-man’seyeslosetheirpoeticmistandfocusasclearlyasaneagle’sonGodmother.Butquicklyretrievinghiscomposurehesays:‘I’mtrulysorry.HadIknownyouwishedtoseemeIwouldhavepresentedmyselfearlier.’HerecitesFaiz:
‘Tumayehonashab-e-intezarguzrihai–
Talashmainhaiseherbaarbaarguzrihai!
Younevercame…Thewaitfulnightneverpassed–
Thoughmanydawnshavepassedinthewaiting.’
Astonishingly,wearenotamazedatthesurgeofwordspouringfromhim:sowelldotheysuitthepoeticmouldofhismetamorphosedcharacter.
‘Shabash!Wellsaid!’saysGodmother.
Withastart,Iscrutiniseherface.Exceptforathinsmileitisclearofallexpression.Yet,insomeindefinableway,ominous.
‘Youhavebecomeagiftedpoet!Andnot,asrumoured,aMandipimp!’Thethrustofherwordsisstillsmooth.‘Buttellme,’shesays,‘whydoyouliveintheHiraMandi?It’sthered-lightdistrict,isn’tit?Nowondertongueswag.itisnotasuitableplaceforafamilyman.’
Thelinesonthepoet’sfacetracehishurtfeelings.‘Notasuitableplace?Noplacecouldbemoresuitable,’hesays,settlingloweronhisheels.‘WhydoyouthinktheMandiliesin
theshadowoftheOldMogulFort?’
‘HowshouldIknow?Idon’tfrequentbrothels,’saysGodmother.
AnuncertainsmileflickersonIce-candy-man’sface.Butthenhecastshiseyesdown:hedoesn’tknowwhattomakeofGodmother’sremark.
‘Baijee,Idon’twantyoutomisjudgeme,’hesayscircumspectly.‘YouknowhowdeeplyIrespectyou…Iwanttoexplainsomethingalmostnooneremembersanymore…Iwantverymuchthatyouunderstand…Thenjudgeme!’
Godmothernodsslightly,gravely,herfacedeadpan.
‘TheMogulprincesbuiltHiraMandi–tohousetheirillegitimateoffspringandfavouriteconcubines,’saysIce-candy-man,speakingwithlessassurancethanbefore.‘Butyouknowourworld…Whocaresfororphans?Eachemperorprovidedonlyforhisownchildren,andneglectedthesonsofhisfather.Thegirls,lefttofendforthemselves,danced,andthemselvesbecameroyalconcubines.Andtheboysbecamemusicians,singersandpoets.Royalindulgences–inthosedaysatleast.’
HadInotbeenlookingatIce-candy-manashespoke,Iwouldnothavebelieveditwashim.Notonlyhashisvoicechanged,buthisentirespeech.Hisdeliveryisflawless,formal,likeaneducatedandculturedman’s.And,continuinginthatsameconfidingmanner,hemurmurs,‘Youaremymotherandfather…I’vetoldnoonethis–theywouldn’tunderstand…Yousee,IbelongtotheKothamyself…Itisthecradleofroyalbastards.’
Ice-candy-man’seyesshinewithacurious,pricklymixtureofshameandprideasheglancesatGodmother.
Godmother’seyesonhisfaceremainimpassive.
‘MymotherwasfromtheKotha,’hesays.‘ShemovedtoBhattiGatewhenshemarriedmyfather.HediedwhenIwasveryyoung…Hewasawell-knownpuppeteer.
‘Mymotherbelongedtotheoldstock–shecamefromtheHouseofBahadurShah.There’sastrictdistinction–theoldfamiliesfromdistinguishedhousesdon’tmixwiththenewgirlsandtheirset-up.Theyarenothingbutprostitutes–younggirlskidnappedbypimps!Anythinggoeswherethey’reconcerned.Poorgirls…Theirlotispitifulandhideous,Iadmit.Theyareforcedintoallkindsofdepravitiesonpainofdeath…andoftendie.Butweprotectourwomen.Wemarryourgirlsourselves.Noonedarelayafingeronthem!Theyareartistsandperformers…beautifulprincesseswhocommandfancypricesfortheirsinginganddancingskills!
‘BecauseofmyfamilyconnectionmywifeandIliveintheoldquarteroftheMandi.Theyhaveacceptedher.Formysake…andforthesakeofherdivinegifts!Shehasthe
voiceofanangelandthegraceandrhythmofagoddess.Youshouldseeherdance.Howshemoves!’AndtheninanotherpoeticoutburstIce-candy-mandeclaims:
‘Shelivestodance!AndItotoastherdancer’sgrace!
Princespledgetheirlivestocelebratehercelebratedface!’
IamhypnotisedbytheplayofemotiononIce-candy-man’selasticface:bythemusicinhisvoiceconjuringvoluptuousimagesofsmittenMogulprincesandofAyahdancingasstatuesofHindugoddessescometolife.Consideringhisrevealedlineageitislittlewonderhesoundslikeaculturedcourtier.Hisface,too,hasacquiredthealmond-eyed,thin-lippedprofileofthehandsomeMogulsportrayedinminiatures.
SocarriedawayamIbythevirtuosityofhisperformancethatIdon’tnoticeGodmother’sreactionuntilshespeaks.
‘Haveyousaidallyouwishtosay?’sheasks:andIturnonherlaptolookatheragain.KnowingherasIdoIcantellbythehoodeddroopofherwrinkledlids,bythesombreshapeofhertonguelesscheeks,thatsheisinacoldrage:andGodhelpIce-candy-man.
ButIce-candy-mandoesn’tknowheraswell.QuotingWali,misjudgingherfury,andasifpresentingcredentials,hedeclares:
‘Kiyamujhishqnezalimkoaabahistaahista
Keaatishgulkokartihaigulabahistaahista.
Slowly,mylovehascompelledher,slowly–
Thewaythesuntouchesopentherosebud,slowly.’
AffectedatlastbyGodmother’sstonysilence,Ice-candy-manlowershiseyes.Hisvoicedivestedoforatory,hesays,‘Iamherslave,Baijee.Iworshipher.Shecancometonoharmwithme.’
‘Noharm?’Godmotherasksinadeceptivelycoolvoice–andarchingherbacklikeascorpionitstail,sheclosesinforthekill.‘Youpermithertoberapedbybutchers,drunks,andgoondasandsayshehascometonoharm?’
Ice-candy-man’sheadjoltsbackasifit’sbeenstruck.
‘Isthatwhyyouhadherliftedoff–lethundredsofeyesprobeher–sothatyoucouldmarryher?Youwouldhaveyourownmothercarriedoffifitsuitedyou!Youareashamelessbadmash!Nimakharam!Faithless!’
‘Yes,I’mfaithless!’Stungintolerably,andtakenbysurprise,Ice-candy-manpermitshisinsolencetoconfrontGodmother.‘I’maman!Onlydogsarefaithful!Ifyouwantfaith,lethermarryadog!’
‘Oh?Whatkindofman?Aroyalpimp?Whatkindofmanwouldallowhiswifetodancelikeaperformingmonkeybeforeothermen?You’renotaman,you’realow-born,two-bitevillittlemouse!’
Ice-candy-manisvisiblyshaken.Hishazeleyesdartfrantically–likethesparrowsheoncetrappedforthemems–asheglancesatMiniAunty,theroad,me,forsympathyorameansofsuccour.Andthen,hisyelloweyesnarrowed,hestaresatGodmotherwithnakedmalevolence.
IseehimnowasGodmotherseeshim.Treacherous,dangerous,contemptible.Adestructiveforcethatmustbeannihilated.
‘Youhavepermittedyourwifetobedisgraced!Destroyedhermodesty!Livedoffherwomanhood!’saysGodmotherasifdriventorecountthechargesbeforeaninvisiblejudge.‘Andyoutalkofprincesandpoets?You’rethesonofpigsandpimps!You’renotworththetwo-cowriesonethrowsatlepers!’
Struckbythenakedpowerandfuryofherattack,Ice-candy-man’sbodytwitches.Hisheadjerksforwardandhislongfingersgougetheearthbetweenhissandals.And,asifcommittedagainsthiswilltowitnessthelitanyofhistransgressions,hisgazeclingstoGodmother’s.‘Is-savedher,’hestammers.‘Theywould’ve…killedher…Imarriedher!’
‘Icanhaveyoulashed,youknow?IcanhaveyouhungupsidedownintheOldFortuntilyourot!’
Ice-candy-manshiftshiseyestotheground.Andinthepausethatfollows,tears,andalongstrandofmucusfromhisnose,dripintothefissuresathisfeet.
‘It’snogoodcryingnow.You’llbeshownaslittlemercyasyoushowedher.’
‘Idon’tseekmercy,’hesays,hisvoicesomuffledandblockedthatitregisterslikeanafterthought.‘IfIdeservetobehung,thenhangme!’
ItisfrighteningtowatchthesilenttumultofIce-candy-man’scapitulation.Thebackofhisneckisstretchedinalong,shallowarchandhisheadhangsbetweenhisknees.Hisarmsmovehelplessly,notknowingwheretorest.
‘Getoutofmysight,youwhiningharamzada!’saysGodmother.
Ice-candy-manjustsquatsthere,excretinghispainandtears,andasIlookathim,IrealisethereismoretohisturmoilthantherageandterrorgeneratedbyGodmother’sattack.
‘It’stoolatetorepent,’saysGodmotherwithamagnitudeofgriefthatmakesmyeyessmartwithsuddentears.‘YouhavetrappedherinthepoisonousatmosphereoftheKotha.’
‘Allahismywitness,I’mmarriedtoher,’hesaysinahorrible,gruffvoice.
‘ThereisnoGodforthelikesofyoushaitans!’Godmothersaysremorselessly.‘YouarenomoremarriedtoherthanIam.’
‘Whatdoyouwantmetodo?Slitmythroat?Stabmyheart?’Hiscapliesontheground.Hisdustyhands,thenailsdarkwithdirt,trembleonhisknees.
‘RestorehertoherfamilyinAmritsar.’
‘Whatifsherefusestoleaveme?’saysIce-candy-man,asifdredgingfromadeepdoubtinhischestascrapofhope.‘Ihavebeenagoodhusband…Askher.I’vecoveredherwithgoldandsilks.I’ddoanythingtoundothewrongdoneher.Ifitweretohelptocutmyheadoff,I’dcutmyheadandlayitatherfeet!Noonehastouchedhersinceournikah.’
‘Whendidthemarriagetakeplace?’asksGodmother,unmoved.
‘InMay.’
‘ShewasliftedinFebruaryandyoumarriedherinMay?Whatwereyoudoingallthattime?’
Ice-candy-manremainssilent.
‘Whydon’tyouspeak?Can’tyoubringyourselftosayyouplayedthedrumswhenshedanced?Countedmoneywhiledrunks,pedlars,sahibs,andcut-throatsusedherlikeasewer?’Godmother’sfaceisslipperywithsweat.Herthighsbeneathmearetrembling.Ihaveapotentsenseofherpresencenow.AndwhenIinhaleIcansmellthefor-midablepowerofherattack.
‘Didyoumarryher,then,whenyourealisedthatLenny’smotherhadarrangedtohavehersenttoAmritsar?’
Ice-candy-man,hismuddiedhairfallingforwardfromhisbowedhead,remainsstill.
‘Whydon’tyouspeak?Alittlewhilebackyoucouldn’tstoptalking!’
SuddenlyIce-candy-manclencheshishairinhisfists.Hiseyesarebloodshot.Hisfaceisapuffypatchworkoftearsandmud.Hetugshishairbackinsuchawaythathisthroatswellsandbulgeslikeagoat’sbeforeaknife,andinarawandscratchyvoicehesays:‘Ican’texistwithouther.’Then,rockingonhisheelsinhisstrange,bonelessway,hepoundshischestandpoursfistfulsofdirtonhispenitent’shead.‘I’mlessthanthedustbeneathherfeet!Idon’tseekforgiveness…’
Thereisasuffocatingexplosionwithinmyeyesandhead.Ablindingblastofpityanddisillusionandasavagerage.Mysightisdisoriented.IseeIce-candy-manfloatawayinabubbleanddwindletoagreyspeckintheaftermathoftheblastandthencomesoclosethatIcanseeeveryporeandmuddycreaseinhisskinmagnifiedindazzlingluminosity.Thepopsicleman,Slavesisterandweandourchairsandthetablewiththefanskidatatremendousangletodashagainstthecompoundwallandthewallsbulgeandflyapart.Godmother’shouseandMrsPen’shouseswaycrazily,thebrickstumbling.
TheimagesblurandItrydesperatelytosucktheairintomydeflatedlungsandGodmotherholdsmyviolentlyshiveringbodytightandIhearhersayasiffromfaraway,‘Lookhowyouhaveupsetthechild!You’veturnedusallinsane!’Andshepatsmybreathlessfaceandsharplysays,‘Stopit!Stopit!Takeadeepbreath!Comeon,inhale.Everythingisgoingtobeallright!’
ShemusthavesignalledtoSlavesisterbecausetheslaveheavesherselfoffherstooland,anxietyquickeninghermovements,stoopstoliftme.Herface,too,isstreakedwithtearsandhereyesredandsheismuttering:‘Finishitnow,Rodabai,that’senough.Packhimoff.’AndIclingtoGodmother.Andstretchlikebubble-gumwhenSlavesistertriestopullmeaway.AndatasignalfromGodmothersheletsmebe.AndI,rubbingmyfaceinGodmother’stightlyboundbosom,grindtheclothbetweenmyteethandshakemyheadtillthekhaddartearsandIsmellbloodandtasteit.
‘Ouch!Stopit!You’veturnedintoapuppyhaveyou?’saysGodmotherpushingmyfaceaway.
AndwhenmyteetharepriedawayfromherbloodiedblouseandIatlastlookintohershrewd,ancienteyes,Icantellhertongueisonceagaininhercheek.
Everything’sgoingtobeallright!
Jinnah-capinhand,Ice-candy-manstandsbeforeus.Hisravagedface,cakedwithmud,hasturnedintoatragedian’smask.Repentance,griefandshockarecompressedintothemouldofhisfeatures…Andhisinflamedeyesarerawwithdespair.
Thestormthathasbeengatheringalldayrushesupthedrive,slammingopenthedoorsandwindows.Thethree-prongedeucalyptusdipsthreateninglyaboveourheads.Aswescurrytoshutthewindowsandcarrythechairsinside,wavesofmudobscurethedriveandswallowthepoet’sflutteringwhiteclothes.
Theinnocencethatmyparents’vigilance,theservants’careandGodmother’sloveshelteredinme,thatneitherCousin’scarnalcravings,northestoriesoftheviolenceofthemobs,couldquitedestroy,waslaidwastethateveningbytheemotionalstormthatragedroundme.TheconfrontationbetweenIce-candy-manandGodmotheropenedmyeyestothewisdomofrighteousindignationovercompassion.Tothedemandsofgratification–andtheunscrupulousnatureofdesire.
Tothepitilessfaceoflove.
Chapter30
JustasGodmotherfeelstheurgetodonatebloodsheisimpelledbyanurgetopopupattherightplaceinthehourofaperson’sneed.YetIamsurprisedwhenfingeringhergreysilksariandmatchingblouselaidoutonthestackoftrunksIask,‘Whereareyougoing?’andshe,afteranunintendedanddramaticpause,replies,‘I’mgoingtoseeAyah.’
Myheartstops.IfeelasifI’verunallthewayfromWarrisRoadinsteadofwalkinghere,holdingHamida’sfinger.IfIdon’tholdherfingerHamidaturnshystericalandbabbles,‘Hai!We’llberunoverbythecarsandtongas.’
ItisSaturdaymorning.AdiandCousinhavegonetothegrasslessWarrisRoadparktoplaycricket.Thatis,CousinwillplayandAdiwillprobablybeforcedtospectate.Motherisout.
Icannotspeak.Godmotherholdsmytwiggyarmbeneathmystarchedandpuffed-outsleeveandpullsmetothecot.Oldhusband,sittingbeforehisdeskonthebentwoodchair,isreadinghisprayerbook.Sibilanthissesflutterbetweenhislipsandeveryshortwhileheclearshisphlegmythroat.And,inavoicethatsoundsinaudible,andquiverswithanxiety,Ifinallyask,‘CanIcomewithyou?’
Godmotherstaressombrelybeforeherandremainsquiet.
‘Please.’Iswallowonalumpinmythroat.
‘Ican’ttakeyou,’Godmothersays.‘It’snoplaceforchildren.’
‘IwanttoseeAyah,’Isay,mylongingmakingmesighbetweenthewords.
‘IreallywishIcouldtakeyou.’
‘Whydon’tyouaskhertocomehere?Won’therhusbandbringher?’
‘Heiswillingto.Butsherefusestocome.’
IcannotbelieveAyahwouldn’twanttoseeme.Seeus.
‘Herhusbandislying,’Isayfiercely.‘He’smakingexcuses.’
‘No,sheisashamedtofaceus,’saysGodmother.
‘Ashamed?’Isaysurprised.AndevenasGodmothersays:‘Shehasnothingtobeashamedof,’IknowAyahisdeeply,irrevocablyashamed.Theyhaveshamedher.Not
thosemeninthecarts–theywerestrangers–butSharbatKhanandIce-candy-manandImamDinandCousin’scookandthebutcherandtheothermenshecountedamongherfriendsandadmirers.I’mnotveryclearhow–despiteCousin’silluminatingtutorials–butI’mcertainofherhumiliation.SensingthisImorethaneverwanttoseeAyah:tocomfortandkissheruglyexperiencesaway.
‘IwanttotellherIamherfriend,’IsaysobbingdefencelesslybeforeGodmother.AndrememberingHamida’sremarks,Icry,‘Idon’twanthertothinkshe’sbadjustbecauseshe’sbeenkidnapped.’
Ihavenevercriedthiswaybefore.Itishowgrown-upscrywhentheirheartsarebreaking.
***
MiniAuntyreturns,silentlybearinggrocerybagsandice,lookinglikeafatandelderlysari-cladwaxdollmelting.
Godmothergreetsher.‘Ithoughtthetongamanhadrunoffwithyou!Whattookyousolong?’
ItisapurelyrhetoricalsalutationandMiniAuntyneednotreplyifshedoesn’twantto.IgnoringGodmother,lookingneitherguiltynorannoyed,Slavesisterispreoccupiedwithstashingthegroceriesandsplinteringandstuffingtheiceintoathermos.
Wehearahorsesnort,andthecreakoftongawheelsoutsidethedoor.Thenasteadyliquidnoise,asofwatergushingfromahoseunderpressure.
Oldhusbandraiseshisprayingvoiceinforbiddingcensure.
‘Ummm,umM,uMM,UMM!’humsGodmotherinarisingcrescendoofdisapproval,andbreakingintospeechshesays,‘MyGod!Howdoyouexpectustositoutsidethisevening?’
‘Itwillevaporate…Youcan’timaginehowhotitis!’saysSlavesister,unperturbed.
‘Can’tI?WheredoyouthinkIlive?IntheNorthPole?’andthen,revertingtothematterinhand:‘Whatifthehorsedecidestoperformonagranderscale?Willthatevaporatetoo?HowoftenmustItellyounottoletthetongacomein?’
‘I’vetoldthetongawallahtotakecareofthat.’
‘Oh?Whatwillhedo?Diaperthehorse?’
MiniAuntycontinuesplacidlytounwraphersari,andturningmildlypleadingeyestoGodmothersays,‘Thetongawallahsaidthepoorhorsereallyhadtogetsomewaterorhe’dcollapse.’
Wehearthetongamancluckhistongueandleadhishorseandtongatothetroughattheback.
‘You’dbetterremembertosprinkletheevaporatedpuddlewithrose-waterbeforewesitout,’saysGodmothersarcastically,butinasoftertone,therebyconcedingMiniAuntyareprieveoncompassionategrounds.
‘I’vearrangedforthetongatotakeyouto–’IndeferencetomyyouthfulpresenceMiniAuntyabruptlychecksherself.Sheendsbyenigmaticallysaying,‘You-know-where,attwoo’clock.’
‘Thenyou’dbettersetaboutgettinglunchready,’saysGodmother.
***
Godmother’sfingersareslightlytrembling.Notwiththetremorofagebutwithnervousconcentrationasshedrapeshersari,withitsfinelyembroideredfloralborder,beforeaslenderhalf-mirrorembeddedinthecupboard.Herconcentrationisatributetothesixyardsofheavygreysilk,andtotheoccasionforwhichitisbeingworn.Normally,notbotheredwiththeirappearance,bothsheandSlavesisterwraptheirsariswithouttheaidofmirrors.UnlikeMother,whopivotsfastidiouslyinhighheelsinfrontofafull-lengthmirrortoadjustthehemofhersariandpreciselyarrangethedaintyfallofherpleats.Itwouldn’tbefittingifMotherdressedwithlesscircumspection.InhercaseIfeeladorningandembellishingherpersonisanobligatoryriteandnotavanity.
Godmothermovesclosertothemirror.Asshecarefullybeginstopinthebordertoherhair,MiniAunty,lookingasifshehasarrivedatadecision,suddenlyandgravelydeclares:‘IthinkI’dbettercomewithyou.You’llneedmysupport!’
HerteethclampedonatangleofU-shapedhairpinsGodmotherturnsabruptly.FacingSlavesistershesays:‘SincewhenhaveIstartedneedingyoursupportinsuchmatters?’
‘Youcan’tgotherealone,Roda.Youmusthavesomeonewithyou.’
NoticetheunembellishedRoda?MiniAuntyusesthisformofaddresstosidleintoamoredominantrole.Thishasbeenoccurringwithalarmingfrequencyoflate:andtheslavegetsawaywithit–andthemeagreRoda–withalarmingfrequency.
‘Oh,allright!Ifitmakesyoufeelanybetter,I’lltakeLennyalong,’saysGodmother,attemptingtoappearreason-ablebutonlymanagingtosounddevious.
‘Youcan’tbeserious!’exclaimsMiniAunty.
‘Whynot?Shewon’tbecontaminated–ifthat’swhatyou’reafraidof.’
‘Howcanyouevendreamoftakingthechildthere!’saysMiniAunty,hereyesbrimmingwithreproach,thechubbydiscofhercheekslengtheninginsolemnconsternation.
‘I’mnottakingherthere,’saysGodmother.‘Weareonlyvisitingasimplehousewifeinhersimplehouse.Thehousemerelyhappenstobethere.’
‘Butwhatwillhermothersay?’
‘That’sbetweenmeandhermother.Youknowperfectlywellshetrustsmyjudgement…NotlikesomeungratefulbratsIcouldname!’
‘Iknowyou…’saysSlavesister,paleandhangdog.‘ThemoreIsaythemorestubbornyoubecome.Onecan’ttellyouanything.Haveyourway…’
‘HaveIeverdoneotherwise?’
‘Oh,Iknow!Youalwayshaveyourway…’
‘Thenwhyareyouwastingmytime?’
‘Buthaveyougivenathoughttowhatpeoplemightsay?’
‘ThatI’vebecomeadancing-girl?Withbellsonmyankles?Orworse?’
ItistoomuchforSlavesister.Blinkingtearsshegoesintothekitchenandcommencesmumbling.
Cometothinkofit,I’mhearinghermumblesafteralongtime.
Attwoo’clockthetongamantapsonthedoorwiththebambooendofhiswhipandshouts:‘I’vearrived,jee.I’mparkedbythegate.’
Godmotherquicklycompressesherlipsanddaubsherfacewithtalcumpowder.Shepeersatmethroughthechalkstormand,almostshyly,winksintomyawedandsmittencountenance.Shelooksgrand.Hernobleghost-whitefaceandgenerousmouthsetofftoadvantagebytheslate-greysarianditsprettyborder.Sheismyveryownwhale–andhergreatloveformeisplaininhershiningeyes.
‘Wearegoing.Lockthedoor,’Godmothercalls,andhandinhandwestepintotheabrasiveheat.
TheincreasingcongestionanduproarinthestreetsaswepassDataSahib’stombandapproachtheBadshahimosquebarelyregistersasleaningagainstGodmotherIfallintoastuporinducedbytheheatandglareandthejoltingrhythmofthetonga.
WhenGodmothergentlyshakesmeawakewearealreadyparkedbeneathastragglingsheesham,itssmallleavesbrittlewiththeheatanddust,infrontofanarrowalley.Thetongamanhasplacedthefeedsackinfrontofhishorseandistyingthereinstotheshaft.Thesweat-darkenedanimaljuststandsthere,itsneckhanging,tooexhaustedtofeed.Precededbythetongamanwewalkintotheblessedshadeoftheconstrictedgulliesoftheoldcity.
Godmotherisnervous.Icantellfromthepressureofhergrip.Aftertheclamourofthestreetsthesilenceinthealleysisvaguelydiscomforting.Therearefewpeopleaboutandtoofewchildren.Thenakedbabiestotteringaboutthedrainsanddoorstepswhimper
listlesslyandarescoldedbyirritablemothersfrominsidewhosoundasifit’sdawninsteadofthreeintheafternoon.
Weemergeonabroaderlanewhichhastheappearanceofabazaarwithrowsofshopsatthegroundlevelandlivingquarterswithfrailarchedwindowsanddecayingwoodenbalconiesteeteringabove.Stillhalfasleepanddruggedbytheoppressivehumidityandheat,Ilookforatincan,oranythingelsetokickasIwalk,butthereishardlyanylitter.
Wewalkpasttwoyoungwomen,yawningandstretchinginfrontofastalloverflowingwithgarlandsofscarletroses,jasmineandmoundsofmarigolds.Theowner,wearingonlyalungi,isperchedlikeacontentedandcontemptuousdeityamidsthiswares.
Comingsuddenlyuponthefragranceofsprinkledflowersandtheblazeofcoloursfreshensmysenses.Thewomenchattingwiththeflower-manlooktousled,asiftheyhavejustawakenedandarestillloiteringintheshalwar-kamizestheyhavesleptin.Exceptforthebetel-leafandcigarettestallsandafeweatingplaceswheremeatandpakorasarebeingfried,thereisverylittlesignofcommerce.Theancient,roughlycarveddoorsareshutforthemostpart.AndthefewthatareopenrevealsteepflightsofnarrowstepsortwilitinteriorsIcannotseeinto.
Mypreviousexcursionsinsidetheoldcityhadbeenenlivenedbythecriesofshop-keepersandhawkersandthebawlingandshriekingofurchins;thelanesteemingwithmenandburka-veiledwomenandlitteredwiththediscardednewspaperbagsusedbyvendors.Imissthemoundsofrottingfruitandvegetablesandthebonespickedcleanbythekites,theirenormouswingsstirringinthegarbage:andthesuddenyelpofkickedmongrelsandraucousflightsofcrowsandscrapsofcardboardandrustedironandtheotherdebriseventhepoorhavenousefor.
Godmotherpincheshersariausterelybeneathherchinandmaintaininghereyesstraightinfrontofhermarchesregallybehindthetongaman.Hersari,catchingthebreezethecunninglystructuredalleysmiraculouslygenerateinanotherwisewindlesscity,billowsgreylyabouthershouldersandback.Noneofthewomenhereisveiled.Theboldgirls,withshort,permedhair,showingtracesofstalemake-up,stareatusasifwearefreaks.Theywhisperandburstintogiggleswhenwepassandburytheirfacesineachother’sshouldersandnecks.Theircrumpledkamizesaretooshortandthepencha-bottomsoftheirshalwarstoowide.EvenIcantelltheyarenotwellbroughtup.Ihaveneverseenwomenofthisclasswithcroppedandfrizzedhair:norusingthebroadandcomfortablegesturesofmen.Thefewmen,insingletsandfadedlungis,scratchtheircarelesslybaredstomachsastheyloiterinthelane,orpausetojokewiththegirls.Somehavetheirhandsinsidetheirlungisandarecleaningthemselvesafterurinatingasprescribed,unconsciouslyindulginginwhatI’veheardsnidelydescribedas‘thenationalpastime’.
Ourtongamanhaltsbeforeaweathereddoorwithdeepgrooves.Iglimpsethechainholdingthepanelsclosedfrominside.‘Thisistheaddress,Baijee,’hesays,andatanod
fromGodmother,battersthedoorwithhishand.
Thereisaninstantshout:‘Coming!’followedbythelightfootedpatterofalightweightpoethasteningdownthesteps.Thedooropensandthepoetblinkshiskohlrimmedeyesintheglare.Ice-candy-manlookssubdued,flustered,honoured.DisplayingtheexquisitecourtesyofMogulcourtiers,spoutingsnatchesoffelicitousverse,pickingmeupwithonehandandsupportingGodmotherwiththeotherasweslowlymountthesteps–Godmotherpausingtocatchherbreath–Ice-candy-manushersusintothesittingroom.GuidingGodmothertoasofacoveredinglossygreenvelvet,headjuststhecushionsbehindheranddrawsapegtableconvenientlyclose.Thenhebreathlesslysays:‘I’llfetchMumtaz,’anddisappearsbehindthepinkandwhitecheckedcurtains.
‘So!’whispersGodmother,blinkingandnoddingimpishly.‘HehaschristenedourayahMumtaz!’
‘Ilikethename,’Isay.
Ithinkitfittingthatacourtier’swifebenamedafteraMogulqueen.Andtheroom,too,isbefitting:longandnarrow,filledwithornatechairscoveredinvelvet,sportinglittletableswithcrocheteddoiliesandthickglassandbrassvasescrammedwithredpaperpoppies.Thearchedwindowsareshadedbyreedscreensandthewallsareagleamingpink.Theroomhasthegratifyingappealofacoolanddelicioustutti-fruttiice-cream.
AndthenAyahcomes:teeteringonhighheels,trippingonthemassivedividedskirtofhergarara,janglinggoldbangles.Hereyesareloweredandherheaddrapedinagold-fringedandgauzyredghoongat.Ajewelledtikanestlesonherforeheadandbunchesofpearlsandgolddanglefromherears.Ice-candy-manguideshisrougedandlipstickedbridetositbesideGodmother.GodmotherlightlystrokesMumtaz’scoveredheadandsays:‘Blessyoumydaughter…Livelong.’
Ifeelfrightfullyshy.IhadexpectedtoleaponAyahandhughertobits.Butnowthatsheishere,intheawesomeshapeofabride,Icandonomorethanshiftuneasilyinmychairandstareather.Inoticethetinypiecesoftinselglitterstuckonherchinandcheeks.
‘Lennybaby,aren’tyougoingtoembracemybride?’Ice-candy-manasks.
AndAyahraiseshereyestome.
Wherehavetheradianceandtheanimationgone?Canthesoulbeextractedfromitslivingbody?Hervacanteyesarebiggerthanever:wide-openedwithwhatthey’veseenandfelt:widereventhanthefrighteningsaucersanddinnerplatesthatdescribethewatchfulorbsofthethreedogswhoguardthewickedTinderBoxwitches’treasuresinundergroundchambers.ColderthantheicethatlurksbehindthehazelinIce-candy-man’sbeguilingeyes.
AtlastAyahcastsherlidsdown:andbowingherhead,extendsherhennaedhandstome.Imoveawkwardlyintothevoluminousskirtofherbrocadegarara.Andthroughthe
pricklingbrocadeandsilverlaméofherkamizeatlastfeelthesoftandroundedcontoursofherdiminishedflesh.Sheburiesherheadinmeandburiesmeinallherfinery;andinthedarkandmuskyattarofherperfume.
LeavingMumtaztositawkwardlywithusIce-candy-mangoesinsidetomakethetea.
GodmothermovestotheedgeofthesofaandtenderlyraisesMumtaz’schin,saying,‘Letmehaveagoodlookatourbride.’
Ayah’sface,withitsdemurelyloweredlidsandtinseldust,bloomslikeaduskyroseinGodmother’shands.Therougeandglitterhighlightthesweetcontoursofherfeatures.Shelooksachinglylovely:aswhenshegazedatMasseurandinwardlyglowed.Buttheillusionisdispelledthemomentsheopenshereyes–nottimorouslylikeabride,butfrenziedly,starkly–andsays:‘Iwanttogotomyfamily.’Hervoiceisharsh,gruff:asifsomeonehasmutilatedhervocalcords.
EvenGodmothercan’tbearthelookinhereyes.Shegentlyremovesherhand,andAyah’sunsupportedfacecollapsesandisagainhalfhiddenintheghoongat.Godmothercomposesherselfwithavisibleeffort.Andthelookofshockandpityfading,sittingtautontheedgeofthesofa,sheatlastsays:‘Isn’thelookingafteryou?’
Mumtaznodsherheadslightly.
‘What’shappenedhashappened,’saysGodmother.‘Butyouaremarriedtohimnow.Youmustmakethebestofthings.Hetrulycaresforyou.’
‘Iwillnotlivewithhim.’Againthatcoarse,raspingwhisper.
IhavemovedtomychairacrosstheroombutIhearAyah’sdiscordantmurmursclearly.(ItisnotwithoutreasonMiniAuntyhasdesignatedmytalentedears‘cricketears’.)
‘Doeshemistreatyou…inanyway?’Godmotheraskswithuncharacteristichesitancy.
‘Notnow,’saysMumtaz.‘ButIcannotforgetwhathappened.’
‘Thatwasfated,daughter.Itcan’tbeundone.Butitcanbeforgiven…Worsethingsareforgiven.Lifegoesonandthebusinessoflivingburiesthedebrisofourpasts.Hurt,happiness…allfadeimpartially…tomakewayforfreshjoyandnewsorrow.That’sthewayoflife.’
‘Iampastthat,’saysMumtaz.‘I’mnotalive.’
Godmotherleansbackandwithdrawsthelargecambrichandkerchieftuckedintoherblouse.Shewipesherforehead.
‘Whatifyourfamilywon’ttakeyouback?’sheasks.
‘Whethertheywantmeornot,Iwillgo.’
Weheartheclatterofill-fittedcupsandsaucers.ThecurtainbulgesandIce-candy-mancomesthrough,carefullybearingatray.Hepausesinfrontofthecurtainandmanifesting
anawedandfelicitousaspect,sweepinghisdramaticeyesfromGodmothertothepinkwallsofhishouse,recitesGhalib’sfamouscouplet:
‘’Tisamiraclewondrousthatyouhavecome:
Marvelling,Ilookfromyoutothewallsofmyhouse…’
HeplacesthetrayonasmalltablenearGodmotherand,interminablystirringtheteawithaspoontodissolvethesugar,deferentiallyhandsherthecup.‘Isitstrongenough?’heenquires.‘Moremilk?Sugar?’
Godmothertakesasip.‘It’sallright,’shesaystersely.
Turningtome,flourishinganautumnalforestofpopsicles,Ice-candy-mansays,‘LookwhatIhaveformyLennybaby.’
Itaketwosticks.Oneforeachhand.
Ayahrefusesherteawithashakeofherloweredhead.Ice-candy-manstoopsand,holdingthecupclosetoAyah’sfingers,coaxes,‘Havesome,merikasam.DrinkitforBaijee’ssakeatleast…’
‘Idon’twantany,’shesaysharshly.Whilehepassesthepastrywiththelittledabsofjam,hisanxiouscourtier’seyeskeepalightingonMumtaz.AssumingtheroleofthemisusedloversodeartoUrdupoets,hequotesMir:
‘Haiashiqikebeechsitamdekhnahilutf
Marjanaankhemoondkekuchhunarnahin.
’Tisnothing…torollupone’seyesanddie.
Ienduremylover’styrannywide-eyed.’
Ice-candy-manappearstohavesensedthecontentoftheexchangebetweenGodmotherandhisbride.Maintaininganervousstreamofchatter,quotingsnatchesofpoetry,pressingustoeatanddrink,heattemptstoconcealhismisgiving.
‘I’llgetthekebabs,’hesaysafterawhile,lookingatourfaceshesitantly,seekingourapproval.‘Theyshouldbedonebynow.’
Godmothernodsbriefly.
Ice-candy-manleavestheroomand,slippingtothefloorlikeafloatingbundleofcrumpledsilk,AyahgraspsGodmother’slegs.‘Please–Ifallatyourfeet,Baijee–pleasegetmeawayfromhim.’
‘Areyousurethat’swhatyouwant?’saysGodmother,bendingtolookintoherface.‘Youmightregretyourdecision…Youshouldthinkitover.’
‘Ihavethoughtitover…Iwanttogotomyfolk.’
‘Let’sseewhatIcando,’Godmothersaysgently.‘I’lltrymybest.’
AyahissniffingandrubbingherfaceonGodmother’slegs.
‘Getup,mydaughter…Havefaith…Havepatience,’saysGodmotherholdingherandtryingtopullhertothesofa.
Steppingonandgettingentangledinherenormousskirts,Mumtazscramblestorisejustasthepoetenterswithafragrantdishofkebabs.HequicklyreachesforAyahandhelpshertositonthesofa.
Thepoet’smannerissubdued,hisfacedrawn,apprehensive:andhiseyes,redwiththestrainofcontaininghistears,hovercaressinglyonAyah.TheyflittoGod-motherinmuteappeal.
GodmotherstrokesAyah’sback.Ayahishuddledover,silentlyweeping,herbodytrembling.‘Havepatience,daughter,havefaith.Go.Goandwashyourface,’saysGodmother,helpingAyahtostandup.Gatheringherskirtwithbothhands,Ayahclumsilystaggersoutoftheroomonherunnaturalheels.
Godmother’smouthisset.SheturnsheraustereeyesonIce-candy-man.
‘Howlonghasshebeenlikethis?’
‘Likehow?’
‘Emptiedoflife?Despairing?’
Inaslow,coilingmovementIce-candy-mansquatsdirectlyinfrontofGodmother.‘Thepastisbehindher,’hesays.Takingthekitchenragfromhisshoulderhewipeshisface.Itisasifhehaswipedoffallartifice,allpride:hishumilityanddespairaremanifest.‘Icannothelpthepast,’hesays.‘Butnowshehaseverythingtolivefor.’
Godmother’seyesonthepoet’sexposedfacearedis-passionate.Cold.AndglidingforwardonhishaunchesIce-candy-manclaspsherhandsinbothhisandplacesthemonhisbowed,penitent’shead.
‘Please.Pleasepersuadeher…explaintoher…Iwillkeepherlikeaqueen…likeaflower…I’llmakeherhappy,’hesays,andsuccumbingtothepressureofhispent-upmiserystartsweeping.
‘Weshallsee,’saysGodmother:andinacoldlysignifi-cantgesturewithdrawsherhandsfromIce-candy-man’shead.Heremainslikethat,stranded,crouchedforward,hisfacehiddenbylongblackstrandsoffallinghair.Afterwhatseemslikehoursheturnstome,swivellingonhishaunches,andhisbeguilingeyes,weighedwithinsupportableuncertainties,pleadhiscause.
ThelongerIlookathimthemorewillingIamtobebeguiledbythosetearing,forlorneyes.Howlonghavetheybeenlikethat?WhenIthinkofAyahIthinkshemustgetawayfromthemonsterwhohaskilledherspiritandmutilatedher‘angel’s’voice.AndwhenIlookatIce-candy-man’snakedhumilityandgriefIseehimasundeservingofhisbeloved’sheartlessdisdain.
Heisadeflatedpoet,acollapsedpedlar–andwhileAyahishauntedbyherpast,Ice-candy-manishauntedbyhisfuture:andhismacabrefuturealreadyappearstobestampedonhisface.
***
IamfeverishtoseeCousin.Ihaven’ttoldanyoneaboutourvisitwithAyah.NotevenAdi.IsitonElectric-aunt’sverandawaitingfortheschoolbustodelivermycousin.Hamidaisinthekitchentalkingtothecook.Electric-auntisinside,whirlingherselfintohersari,issuingabatteryofinstructionstohersweepressandatthesametimelisteningtothefouro’clocknews.
TheminuteIseethebusIruntothegatetoreceivemycousin.Theschoolbus,windowscrammedwithboys’faces,lurchesawayspewingexhaustsmokeandCousinscowlsatme.Hedoesn’tlikemeseeingallthoseboys–orallthoseboyslookingatme.Besideshe’sembarrassedtobeseenassociatingwithsuchaskinnygirl.
Cousinisflushedandsweatyandweigheddownbyhisschoolbag.Irelievehimoftheprecariouslybulginggeometryboxinhishandandsay,‘IwenttoseeAyahandIce-candy-manyesterday!’
Cousincomestoadeadstopjustinsidethegate.
‘Where?’
‘Attheirhouse.’
Cousinlooksamazed.Thenpale,andveryserious,heleadsmeintotheshadeofthegardeniahedgeinfrontofthegardenwall.WesitonthewarmanddustygrassandCousinenquires,grimly:‘Whotookyouthere?’
‘Godmother.’
‘Godmother?’Cousinisincredulous.Heisalsodisconcerted.
‘Shedidn’twanttotakeme.ButIcried…andshetookmealong.’
‘Sheshouldn’thave,’saysCousin,inatoneofvoicethatsuggestsheisGodmother’sage,andGodmotheranaughtylittlegirl.
‘Okay,’hecontinues,inthesamecensorioustone.‘TellmewhatyousawintheHiraMandi.Tellmewhathappened.Tellmeeverything.’
Itellhimeverything.ItellhimthedetailsofAyah’sdespairandthespurnedcourtier-poet’sanguish.
‘Isthatall?’Cousinappearsdisappointed,andatthesametimemollified.‘Youwouldhaveseenalotmoreifyou’dgonethereafterdark.’
‘Likewhat?’Isayfeelingthateitherheisdeliberatelyaggravatingme,orweareatcrosspurposes.
‘Girlsdancingandsinging–andamorouspoets.Andyouwouldhavebeenraped.’
‘What’sthat?’
(Ineverlearn,doI?)
‘I’llshowyousomeday,’saysCousingivingmeaqueerlook.
Idon’tpressthepoint.‘Whatdoyouthinkwillhappennow?’Ienquireinstead.
‘IfGodmothersaysshe’llhelpAyahgetaway,she’llgetheraway.’
Yousee?EveryonehasconfidenceinGodmother.
‘WhatdidyousayAyah’snewnamewas?’Cousinasks.
‘Mumtaz.’
‘That’sanicenameforadancing-girl,’saysCousin,rollingthewordsandrollinghiseyesandleeringhorribly.
‘Can’tyoutalkstraight?’Isay,readytohithim.
‘You’vebeentotheKotha!Youvisitthedancing-girls!andyouwantmetotalkstraight?’
‘Ithinktheheathasscrambledyourbrains,’Ideclare,standingupindisgust.
CousinyanksthehemofmyskirtandIthudbackonthescratchygrass.
‘Ifyouwantmetostay,’Isay,‘you’dbettermindhowyoutalk!’
‘Okay,’saysCousinchanginghistoneandcomposinghisfeatures.‘Youwantmetotellyouwhatgoesonthere?’
Heknowshehasmehooked.
‘Aslongasyoutellmeanddon’tstartdemonstrating,’Isay,warninghimwithmyvoiceandalsoawaggingfinger.
Iwaitformymessagetosinkin,andthenIask,‘What’sKotha?GodmotherhadusedthewordwhentalkingtoIce-candy-man:andnowCousin.
‘TheHiraMandi,’explainsCousin,‘isalsoknownastheKotha.Roof.Becausethedancing-girlscarryontheirmainbusinessupstairs.’
AsCousintalksafascinatingpictureemerges.
TheKothaistheculturalpulseofthecity.Itiswherepoetsareinspired,wheretheirsongsaresungandmadefamousbythegirls,andsinging-boys.Itisalsoasteppingstonetofilmstardomforthenautch-girls.ThegirlsaretaughttosinganddanceandtalkelegantlyandlookprettyandbeattractivetomenitsoundsverymuchlikeacrossbetweenaSwissfinishingschoolafemalecousinofmineinBombaywassenttoandaSchoolfortheFineandPerformingArts.
AftermullingoverthecomplexitiesofthediscourseontheculturedKotha–whichIknowisalsothecradleofroyalty,Ienquire:‘Butwhatarepimps?’Anotherwordthatarousespeculiarreactionsinpeople.
‘Theylookafterthedancing-girls,’saysCousin.
‘Akindofmaleayah?’
‘No,’saysCousin,soundingcondescendingandpainfullyadenoidal.‘Theyprotectthegirlsfromdrunksandlookaftermoneythegirlsget.Theybringmenandintroducethemtothedancing-girls.’
I’mbeginningtounderstand.Thepimpsareakindofadultandmercantilecupid.
IalsohaveaninsightintothepotentcreativeforcegeneratedwithintheKothathathasmetamorphosedIce-candy-mannotonlyintoaMogulcourtier,butintoaMandipoet.Nowonderhefountspoetryasifhepoppedoutofhismother’swombspoutingrhymingsentences.
Butallthisstilldoesn’texplainthetwitteringflapandthehush-hushanymentionoftheHiraMandievokes.OrthecontemptinwhicheverybodyappearstoholdthisIn-stituteofCulture.
…OrthegirlswholookedtooateaseloiteringintheMandigulliesandlackedthedocilemodestyofproperlybroughtupMuslimwomen.
Ihavemanyquestions,butCousinappearstohavehadhisfillofenlighteningme.Heishungryandthirstyandwegoinside.
Chapter31
‘DrSelzer!Comehere.Comehere,’Motheryellscheerfullyfromtheveranda:summoninghimalsowithasnappywaveofherhand.SheispouringteaforMrPhailbus,hisdaughterMaggie,andhissonTheo.SincetheyareIndianChristianstheyareamongthefewremainingneighbourswestillknow.
TheShankars’roomsatthebackhavebeenlettoDrSelzer.TheGermandoctordoesnotinhabittheroomsasmuchaspossessthem.Helivesaloneandhepadlockstheroomswhenhegoesout.Hehasonlyoneservant.
Thedoctor’ssteps,deflectedfromtheircoursebymyMother’svoice,falter.Andturningroundpolitelyheapproachesusfromthedrive.
‘Iwasjustthisminutetalkingaboutyou!’warblesMotherenthusiastically,flashingallherbeautifulteethinamagicalsmile.
DrSelzeristallerthanCol.Bharucha.TallereventhanthemurderedInspectorGeneralofPolice,MrRogers.Butheismuchlessintimidating.HelacksCol.Bharucha’schargeofthunderandthedepartedpoliceman’sI’m-in-charge-hereairofhaughtiness.Heispolite:andassuredinasubdued,understatedway.Andthoughhedoesn’ttalkmuchIcantellfromtheexpressiononhisfacethatheisagentlegentleman.HekeepssomuchtohimselfIthinkbecausehe’sshy.
DrSelzerpractiseshiscallingintworoomshehasrentedonBirdwoodRoad,behindWarrisRoad.Oneroomisoccupiedbyaself-trainedandindigenouschemistwhodeciphersanddispensestheprescriptions.
Thedoctorwalkstoandfromhisoffice.Hesaysheneedstheexercise.HesayshewillbuyacarwhenhiswifecomesfromGermany.EvenFatherlikeshim.Motherissoimpressedbyhisdoctoringthatshehastransferredmydiminishinglimp–andsundrycolds,coughsandattacksofdiarrhoea–tohiscareandtakenituponherselftopromotehispractice.BetweenhispermanentpresidencyoftheParseeAnjumanandhisthrongingpatientsCol.Bharuchahasbecometoobusyinanycase.
MrPhailbus,whoisaretiredmagistrate–andabuddinghomeopathbesides–standsuptoshakehands.MrPhailbus’skindnessandcongenialitytwinkleinhisdarkeyes.HissereshockofcroppedwhitehairbarelyclearstheGermandoctor’sshoulders.Theo,lean,reservedanddarkasathundercloud,alsoshakesDrSelzer’shand.
‘MrsSethiwasjusttellingusallaboutyou,’saysMaggieaffably.Sheiscomfortablyensconcedinthechair,oneslipperlessfootrestingjauntilyonherred-satin-shalwaredthigh.ShewigglesherdustytoesinvitinglyandDrSelzer,withquietresignation,settlesdownbesideher.
‘LookatLenny!’Motherexclaims,yankingmeclosertothePhailbusesforbetterobservation.‘Isn’tshelookingbetteralready?’
‘Muchbetter.Muchbetter,’murmurthethreePhail-buses,noddingtheirheads.
‘Eatandrun!Eatandrun!That’sallshe’sdoneallyear!’saysMother,lovinglyandgraphicallysqueezingbothmybottoms.‘It’sawondershehasanybottomleft.’
‘Tch,tch,tch,’saysMaggiePhailbussympathetically.
‘Look,’saysMother.Jackinguptheskirtofmystarchedpinkfrockandtherimofmyknickersshepointsoutasmallincisionandbumpinmygroin.‘Heinsertedthepillhere:rightundertheskin:andovernightherdysenterywasfinished!Haveyoueverheardofamoebicdysenterybeingcuredjustlikethat?’Shesnapsherfingers.
Headsnodagainandeyeswideninwonderasthespellofmymother’svoiceconjurestheJewishdoctorintoasavagewizardandmycureintoafeatofunparalleledsorcery.
‘He’sexcellent!Itellyou,he’sexcellent!’assertsMotherexuberantly.‘Lenny,walk!’commandsMother,andlikeaperformingpoodleIparadeupanddownbeforethePhailbuses,takingcaretoplacemyawkwardheelonthefloor.
‘See?’saysMothertriumphantly.‘He’scuredherlimp!’
DrSelzerstretcheshislipsinamildsmileandhiseyes,assuredyetshy,searchherfaceforacluetohisrelease.
ButMotherhasnomindtolethimgoyet.Inherzealaspromoterandtown-crierofDrSelzer’sgeniusshehasneglectedMrPhailbus’saccomplishments:andbeingscrupulouslyfairsheinformsDrSelzer–inanawedwhisperthatportendsrevelations–thatMrPhailbusisahomeopath:anothermiracleworker!HoldinghershapelylipsandchiselledchinintherefinedandmanneredwaysheassumeswhentalkingtoEnglishmenandothersofthewhitespecies,shesays:‘GodblessourMrPhailbus.DoyouknowIhadacystthatbiginsidehere?’Shegathersherfingersintoafistandwavesthefistdiscreetlyandvaguelyinthedirectionofherlowerabdomen.‘Eventhedatefortheoperationwasfixed.ItwasjustbychancethatItoldMrPhailbusaboutit.Hesaid:“Letmehaveatry.Ifmypowdersworkyoumayspareyourselfanoperation.”Iknowhomeopathyisharmless.SoIhadoneofthosesweetpowdersofhisbeforegoingtobed.Thenextmorningthecysthadmelted!Icouldn’tfeelit:justalittlebitofdischarge.Col.Bharuchawasamazed!Hesaidhehadneverseenacystvanishlikethat!’
MrPhailbus’sgentleeyesbeamandtwinkleabovehishalf-moonglassesandDrSelzerlooksmildlyandsuitablyimpressed.
AtthispointIbecomeawareofasuddencommotioninRosy-Peter’scompound.Mingledwiththethudofhoovesandthecreakingofwoodenwheelsaretheraisedvoicesofmensquabblingandcursingandthesoundsofrunningfeetandofcombat.Wecockourearsandexchangealertglances.Andtakingadvantageofourmomentaryinat-tentionDrSelzer,discreetlymurmuringhisgoodbyes,slipsaway.
MotherandI,followedbythePhailbuses,rundowntheverandasteps.ImamDinisalreadystandingonthehandykitchenstoollookingoverthewallandHariandYousafarescramblingontoitforaring-sideview.
‘Whathappened?’Mothershouts.
Hamida,herheadcovered,ishoveringexcitedlynearthemen.Shedirectsasqueakystreamofsentencesatusthatwecannotmakeanythingoutof.
‘Oye,Sardarjee,stopit!You’llkillhim!’shoutsImamDin.
Moti-alias-David-Masihisrunningupfromtheback,followedbyhiswifeandprogenyandparentsandsistersandtheotherinhabitantsoftheservants’quarters.Thesoundsofcombatincrease.AmanbellowsinpainandthenbeltsoutabreathlessstringofvintagePunjabicursesinahoarse,wailingvoice.Hari-alias-Himat-AliandYousafjumpthewallanddisappearontheotherside.
‘Willsomeonetellmewhat’sgoingon?’Mothershoutsinanimperiousfrenzy.
IclimbaboardthekitchenstoolandclamourtobepickedupbyImamDinandheliftsmeupandsitsmeonthewall.
Threehorse-drawncartsarecrowdedanyoldhowtothefarsideofourneighbours’compoundandinfrontofthem,quiteclosetothewall,isthesceneofbattle:anentwinedjumbleofarmsandlegsandtornclothingtumblingthroughameshofsnarledhair.Yousaf,HimatAliandtheothermenintheforefrontaretryingtorestrainandlifttheheftySikhguard.TheSikhisentwinedwithsomeoneonthefloorandisviciouslyattackingandbellowing:‘Dog!Mother-fucker!Sonofanowl!’
Justthenthemensucceedinpullingthefightersapartandslowly,assistedbyseveralpairsofhandsanddustinghisclothes,amanarisesfromthedust.Hisfaceandarmsaregrimedwithbloodanddirtandhishandistwistedatanunnaturalangle.Someonewipeshisfacewithawetragandastheman,inobviouspain,pushestheragaway,Iseefranticambereyes.
‘It’stheIce-candy-man,’IscreamtoMother.‘They’vebeatenhimup!’
Agroupofmenhastilybundlehimintoacartandthreescruffy-lookinggoondasinsingletsandlungisjumpinafterhim.Oneofthem,standingupinthecarriage,whipsthe
horsesavagelyandthecart,followedbytheothercarts,groansandcreaksdowntherutteddrive.
TheremainingmengrouparoundtheoutragedSikhwhoishollering:‘I’llbreakthebastard’snecknexttime!I’veneverhadtroublebefore!Letanyonetouchthewomen…SeewhatI’lldototheircocksandballs!Theyaremysistersandmothers!’Hethumpshismassivechest.Hisknee-lengthhair,mauledbyIce-candy-man,isindramatic,spikydisarray.Themenstareathiminwondermentandnodtheirheads.
ImamDinplucksmeoffthewallanddepositsmenearHamida.Motherisyellingatthegate.TrailedbyHamidaIruntoherasMotherscreamsafterthedepartingcart,‘Duffaho!Showyourblackenedfacesatsomeoneelse’sdoor!Thatscoundrel!Hecan’tdeceivemeagain!IfhedaresshowhisfaceI’llcallthepoliceandhavehimhungupsidedown!’
Sheisflushedandfumingandpantinginafierceway.HerpenetratingvoiceIamsurecanbeheardbythemeninthedisappearingcarts.
MaggieandMrPhailbustrytosootheMother.MrPhailbus,whohasthepowertohealandcalminhishands,strokesMother’sheadandshouldersandMother’sragesubsidessomewhat.ThePhailbusessaygoodbyeatthegateandsaunteraway,talkinginsubduedvoices,andMothermarchesupourdrivewithapreoccupiedexpressionthatbetraysthebattlesheisstillengagedinwiththeobjectofherrecriminations.
HamidaandIruntothebackandrushupthestairstotheservants’roof.Thewomenandchildrenfromthequartersarealreadylookingovertheshortparapetwallintothecourtyard.SinceitwouldbeimproperforMotiandHaritolookatthewomen,theyaresquattingatapolitedistance,anxiousforwhatevernewsofAyahtheycanacquiresecond-hand.Thewomeninthecourtyardappearagitated.Theyflutterinandoutoftheroomsandanswerourinsistentquerieswithmoreanimationthantheyhaveeverdisplayedbefore.Theirvoicesriseuptousfromupturnedfaces:Ayahisexhausted.She’sallright.Shedoesn’twishtoseeyou…bestleaveheralone.She’sbeingregistered.
‘Letherbe.It’lltakehoursifshe’sbeingregistered,’saysHamida,slappingherforeheadinagestureofsympathy,andtalkingfromexperience.‘They’llbeaskingherahundred-and-onequestions,andfillingoutahundred-and-oneforms.’SheisreferringtotheclerksfromtheMinistryfortheRehabilitationofRecoveredWomen.‘Yes,sister,letherdoasshewishes…’saythewomenontheroof.
AndIchant:‘Ayah!Ayah!Ayah!Ayah!’untilmyheartpoundswiththechantandthechildrenontheroofpickingitupshoutwithalltheirheart:‘Ayah!Ayah!Ayah!Ayah!’andourchantflowsintothepulseofthewomenbelow,andthewomenontheroof,andtheybeattheirbreastsandcry:‘Hai!Hai!Hai!Hai!’reflectingthehistoryoftheircumulativesorrowsandthesorrowsoftheirMuslim,Hindu,SikhandRajputgreat-grandmotherswhoburntthemselvesaliveratherthansurrendertheirhonourtotheinvadinghordesbesiegingtheirancestralfortresses.
TheSikhguard,noisilysplashinghimselfatthetapoutsidethegate,standsuptolookatus–andwhenhebeholdsonlythewomenandchildrenontheroof,heholdshispeace–andonceagainsettlestowashthebloodandmudfromhisclothesandhair.
‘Ayah!Ayah!Ayah!’wechantand‘Hai!Hai!Hai!’theweepingwomen:andsupportedbytwooldwomenAyahappearsinthecourtyard.Shelooksupatusoutofglazedandunfeelingeyesforamoment,asifwearestrangers,andgoesinagain.
Iinstituteavehementandimportunateenquiry.AfteragreatdealofpainstakingprobingandpryingIferretoutafairlyaccurateaccountoftheeventsthatledtoAyah’sextraditionfromtheHiraMandi.
ThelonganddiversereachofGodmother’stentaculararmisclearlyevident.ShesetanentireconglomerateinmotionimmediatelyafterourvisitwithAyahandsingle-handedlyengenderedthesocialandmoralclimateofretributionandjusticerequiredtorehabilitateourfallenAyah.
Everythingcametoaheadwithinafortnight.Whichinthenormalcourseofevents,unstructuredbyGodmother’sstratagems,couldhavebeenconsignedtotheingeniousbureaucraticeternityofatoddlernationgreenlyflutteringitsflag–withawhitestriptorepresentitsminorities–andacrescentandstar–fromtheNationalAssemblybuildingbehindtheunqueenedgardenanditsevisceratedmarblemarquee.
Brand-newflagsflutter,too,fromthefiligreedturretsofthepinkHighCourtandtheGeneralPostOfficeandothergovernmentofficesandthenewfrontsofbazaarshopsintheShalmiandGowalmandiandtheoilandengineeringcompanies–thoseubiquitousvisitantsfromforeignlands–andthedomesandminaretsofnewmosqueseruptingalloverLahore…somebeautifulaspoemsandsomebe-draggled.
Andarmedwiththemightofasmallandflutteringgreenflagaposseofpolicemeninajeep–andawiredblackvan–squeezedtheirwayrightintotheconstricted,drain-dividedheartoftheHiraMandiandstoppedbeforethepopsicleman’ssplintereddoor.Thepolice,wavingsignedpapersandbatons,swarmedthroughtheroomsofIce-candy-man’sKothaandfindingAyahtheretookheraway,awillingaccompanist,totheblackvan.AndalltheMandipimpsandpoetsandmusicians…andalltheflower-sellers,prostitutes,butchers,cigaretteandpaanvendors,wrestlersandtoughsoftheculturedKothacoulddonothingaboutit.NordoIce-candy-man’sthreats,pleading,remonstrance,bellows,declamations,courtlymanners,resourcefulnessorwailingimpedetheprogressionofthevaninitsdeterminationtodepositAyah,withherscantbelongingswrappedinclothbundlesandasmalltintrunk,attheRecoveredWomen’sCamponWarrisRoad.TobefollowedthereinthreegallopingcartsbyIce-candy-manandhiscronies–alltheiroutrageandbrokenbonesandpimpyinfluencetonoavail.
Chapter32
Givemethe(mystic)winethatburnsallveils,
Thewinebywhichlife’ssecretisrevealed,
Thewinewhoseessenceiseternity,
Thewinewhichopensmysteriesconcealed.
Liftupthecurtain,givemepowertotalk.
Andmakethesparrowstrugglewiththehawk.
(Iqbal)
Ice-candy-manhastakentopatrollingWarrisRoad:hisbrokenleftarmsupportedinaslingandpressedtohischestasifaffirmingatruth.
SometimeshesquatsacrosstheroadfromourwallandsometimesinsideRosy-Peter’scompound–patiently,andfromadistance,watchingthetin-sheetgates.OccasionallyherecitesZauq:
‘Whydidyoumakeahomeinmyheart?
Inhabitit.BoththehouseandIaredesolate.
AmIathiefthatyourwatchmanstopsme?
Tellhim,Iknowthisman.Heismyfate.’
Theguardisgettingusedtohispresence;andtohispoeticoutbursts.WhenhefirstspiedhimtheSikhadvancedthreateningtotearhimlimbfromlimbandstuffhisgenitalseverywhichwhere.Ourhousehold,attractedtothewallbytheshouting,sawIce-candy-man’ssplinteredarmraisedtodefendhimselffromtheblows,andhistearingeyes,andImamDinandYousafshouted:‘Lethimbe,yaar,he’sharmless.’
TheSikhmerelypulledthepopsicle-mantohisfeetbyhisunbrokenandfrailarmandIce-candy-manmeeklywalkedaway.
EventheSikhhasgivenwaytohisindefatigablepersistenceandnoweyeshimwithacertainawe.ForIcy-candy-manisacquiringanewaspect–thatofamoonstruckfakirwhohasrenouncedtheworldforhisbeloved:beitwomanorGod.RepeatingacoupletbyFaizasifitisaprayer,hemurmurs:
‘Thereareotherwoundsbesidesthewoundsoflove–
Othernightsbesidespassionatenightsoflove–’
Drivenmore,Isuspect,byprivatedemonsthanbyfearofMother’sthreats,Ice-candy-manhasnotsteppedinsideourgates.Sometimeshebringswithhimhisthermosofpopsiclesanddoesbusinessinadesultoryfashion,givingawaymoreicesthanhesells.Andsometimes,whentheSikhguardaccompaniesourunseeingandunfeelingAyahtoMrPhailbusforhomeopathictreatment,Ice-candy-mansquatspatientlyoutsidethePhailbuses’wall.
OftenIaccompanyAyahtoMrPhailbus’s;andwhenwewalkpastthecandy-man,hegreetsuscourteouslyanddoesnotstareatAyah,butcastshiseyesdown.Ayahbehavesasifheisinvisible.And,hisovergrownhairshadinghiseyes,hesometimesmurmursacoupletbyanotherromanticpoet,Ghalib:
‘Mypassionhasbroughtmetoyourstreet–
WherecanInowfindthestrengthtotakemeback?’
Ayahbehavesasifheisinaudibletoo.
Hehasbecomeatrulyharmlessfellow.Myheartnotonlymelts–itevaporateswhenIbreatheout,leavingmefaintwithpity.Eventheguardletsdownhisguardandattimes,wheninthemoodforcompany,squatsbyIce-candy-man,gleaningwisdomfromhiscommentsonlifeanditswaysandthewaywardwaysofGodandmenandwomen,untilit’stimetoaccompanyAyahback.Then,Zauq’spoemsandIce-candy-man’svoicehumminginourminds,wemurmur:
‘Don’tberateme,beloved,I’mGod-intoxicated!
I’llwrapmyselfaboutyou;I’mmysticallymad.’
EachmorningIawakennowtothefragranceofflowersflungoverourgardenwallatdawnbyIce-candy-man.ThecourtyardoftheRecoveredWomen’sCamptooisstrewnwithpetals;andsometimeswiththeaddedglitterofcheapcandywrappedincellophane.AndafterHimatAlisweepsuptheredrosescrushedbythesun,andthecampwomenthepetalsscatterednearthetingatesintheircourtyardasiftheywerenomorethangoatdroppings,Ice-candy-man’svoicerisesinsweetandclearsongtoshowerAyahwithpoems.
‘Bewitchingfacesdon’tremainburied
Theyreappearintheshapesofflowers.’
Until,onemorning,whenIsnifftheairandmissthefragrance,andruninconsternationtothekitchen,IamtoldthatAyah,atlast,hasgonetoherfamilyinAmritsar.
…AndIce-candy-man,too,disappearsacrosstheWagahborderintoIndia.
Acknowledgments
IthankRanaKhanforsharingwithmehischildhoodexperiencesatthetimeofPartition.HelivesinHouston,andstillbearsthedeepcrescent-shapedscaronthebackofhishead,andinnumerableotherscars.
Iwouldalsoliketothankmygoodfriends:NergisSobaniforsopainstakinglytypingthefinal(andsemi-final)draftsofmynovels;SafderButt,whowithhisraconteur’sgiftinspiredmetowriteinthefirstplace;PhillipLopateforhisscrutinyofthemanuscriptandforhiscomments;RosellenBrownandMaxApplefortheirgoodcheerandsupport;AliAsani,andNomanHaqforassistingmewiththeselectionoftheUrdupoems;ReetikaVazirini,myhaplessflatmate,forherhelp;andfinallytheBuntingInstituteandtheNationalEndowmentfortheArtsforprovidingmewiththetime,spaceandmeanstocompletethisnovel.
GratefulacknowledgmentismadeforpermissiontoreprintexcerptsfromUrduLiteratureeditedbyD.J.Matthews,C.ShackleandShahrukhHusain,publishedbyUrduMarkaz,London,1985.
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