english laughs best 300 fabulous pun jokes to learn english
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ENGLISH LAUGHS BEST
300 FABULOUS PUN JOKES TO LEARN ENGLISH
RAZVAN S. MACOVEI
Copyright 2013 by Razvan S. Macovei
Smashwords Edition
Cartoons by Razvan S. Macovei
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission.
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Table of Contents
Acknowledgments
Introduction
ENGLISH LAUGHS BEST
Appendix
Pun Mind Map
Acknowledgments
This book is dedicated to all those who believe that English should be fun. It is also a tribute to all who struggle to write witty and inspirational materials for the study of English language.
I would like to express my gratitude to my teachers in the past who taught me part of the English I know now and who thus, indirectly, have contributed to the creation of this book.
I would like to thank Mr. Mario Rinvolucri whose teachings and books have inspired me to explore new ways of thinking and means of expression.
My grateful thanks are also extended to my students whose genuine thirst for knowledge has triggered in me the desire to put my ideas on paper.
Finally, I would like to thank my dear wife for the pertinent advice she has given me during the process of writing this book and the enormous amount of sunshine she brings to my life every day.
"I never knew an enemy to puns who was not an ill-natured man."
(Charles Lamb)
Introduction
American humorist Erma Bombeck once said: "When humour goes, there goes civilization". Laughter is "the best medicine", indeed. It is known to boost the immune system, reduce stress, and improve creativity and imagination. Laughter is contagious and brings people together. It is also common knowledge that learning is more productive when it is funny.
Puns have always constituted a great source of humour in any language and English is no exception. They make an excellent learning tool due to the effective combination of two factors: fun and context. As the words that form the punch line meet in the context, they usually create a powerful visual image. As a result, the piece of language that is targeted is easily remembered.
The main purpose for which I have written this book is to put a smile on your face. My second goal, but of equal importance, is to help you enlarge your English vocabulary with useful idioms and phrases. As a student, you will find enough helpful and amusing material not only to learn but also to test your friends. As an EFL teacher, you will discover valuable puns and idioms to make your classes more entertaining, whether you teach beginners or advanced learners.
It is the duty of an English teacher to realize the importance of adequate language in teaching. Consequently, I have carefully selected the information to include here so that the book should be safe to read, regardless the age. At the end of it, I have provided you with an appendix which contains the most important idioms and phrases, their explanations, as well as a pun mind map. The latter includes the key words or the image associations that make each of the three hundred pun jokes easy to remember. For example, the pun mind map that I have suggested for the pun "Why did everyone try to climb on the bar's roof? They'd heard all drinks were on the house" is: "bar's roof - drinks on the house".
I do hope you will memorize some of these puns and share them with the others. I can assure you this will bring immense joy to you all.
Thank you for choosing this book! Good luck in learning English and don't forget: keep smiling!
The Author
ENGLISH LAUGHS BEST
300 FABULOUS PUN JOKES TO LEARN ENGLISH
1. What did the fox tell the turkey on Thanksgiving Day?
"Can you stay for dinner?"
2. How much does a shark diving tour cost?
An arm and a leg.
3. How did the contortionist embarrass his future mother-in-law?
He put his foot in his mouth.
4. Why is punctuation so hard to digest?
It gets stuck in the colon.
5. Why do soldiers in the war rarely receive letters?
Nobody likes reading between the lines.
6. What's the best thing to do to prevent Alzheimer?
Forget about it.
7. Why can't garbage bins have long-term relationships?
They get dumped easily.
8. What was the snake's favourite subject?
Hisstory.
9. Why don't welders go to classical music concerts?
They are addicted to heavy metal.
10. What do boxers always order when they eat out?
Spare ribs.
11. Why did the shipwrecked dentist feel miserable?
He missed some teeth.
12. How do cheetahs defy nutrition?
They eat only fast food but they never put on weight.
13. Why is Bill Gates the most religious man on the planet?
He has spent his whole life among icons.
14. How do you infuriate an artefact collector?
You say something bad about their mummy.
15. Why did the sardine choose to become self-educated?
It didn't like schools.
16. Why did the Eskimo leave his bride at the altar?
He got cold feet.
17. What did the farmer say when the bull produced milk?
"Holy cow!"
18. Why couldn't the sailors see Moby Dick attack?
They were having a whale of a time.
19. How did Quasimodo figure out that people mocked at him?
He had had a hunch.
20. What do you have when a Leo insults a Scorpio?
Horrorscope.
21. Why do people always stammer when they talk about their ancestors?
Because everyone had a great-great-great grandfather.
22. Why couldn't the chameleon take its girlfriend out for dinner?
It had butterflies in its stomach.
23. Why aren't bald guys invited to parties?
They can't let their hair down.
24. What did the confectioner say when the exam was over?
"Piece of cake!"
25. What was the glutton's favourite season?
Season the steak.
26. Why don't balloons live long enough to get married?
Because they pop the question.
27. Why are English teachers' hearts different than others'?
They beat-beat-beaten.
28. What do IT workers take when they are sick?
A tablet.
29. Why couldn't the stuffed animals revolt against the taxidermist?
They didn't have the guts.
30. How do bees congratulate each other?
"Give me hive!"
31. What happened to the comedian who liked to drink?
He skipped his number and went straight to the punch line.
32. What did a wet cloth say to another?
"Will you hang out with me?"
33. Why was the condor so conceited?
It had friends in high places.
34. Why are sculptors great lovers?
They put their spouses on a pedestal.
35. Why did the armless man come to the shop to get hired?
There was a sign on the door which read "No hands needed."
36. What is the worm still doing in New York?
It is looking for The Big Apple.
37. When do most people tend to lose their head?
Near the guillotine.
38. Why don't sloths ever argue with one another?
Because this means they have to move their mouths.
39. What's the only vegetable that you can create with your feet?
Squash.
40. Why is testament also called will?
Because it's all about "will I get the house or not?"
41. How did cavemen raise money for disco?
They clubbed together.
42. Why do donkeys make good listeners?
They are all ears.
43. Why did the ornithologist divorce?
Irreconcilable differences: he was an early bird and she was a night owl.
44. Why didn't the janitor put the "wet sign" in place?
It slipped her mind.
45. What did a flint piece say to its date?
"I see no spark between us."
46. What happened to the teacher who used to mistreat the king's children?
He eventually lost his pupils.
47. What did the jelly do when the earthquake happened?
It started to shake with fear.
48. How often does the sun go dark?
Once in a blue moon.
49. Why did the kitten make a scene when it went to have its head X-rayed?
They wouldn't do CAT scans.
50. Why are traffic officers always happy?
They have discovered that every day is a fine day.
51. What's the best advice for a student who finds it difficult to learn idioms?
"Take it easy!"
52. Why was the blanket weaver fired?
He took too many duvet days.
53. How does a cannibal ask for help?
"Can you give me a hand?"
54. Why did the rhino come across as rude?
It would always horn in.
55. Why couldn't the onion get a decent date?
It made everybody cry.
56. What's a refuse collector?
A child who says "no" every time you ask them to take out the garbage.
57. Why was the poultry farmer so energetic every morning?
He went to bed with the chickens.
58. What happened to the workers who dropped the piano on the stairs?
They had to face the music.
59. Why was the tadpole unable to speak?
It had a frog in its throat.
60. Why did the skeleton fall out with his friend?
There was a bone of contention between them.
61. How do you start a debate on the importance of lawyers in today's society?
You play devil's advocate.
62. Why couldn't the typist enter the house?
She forgot her keys.
63. What queue would people never jump?
Death row.
64. Why did it take so long for the cook to share his latest escargot recipe?
He used snail mail.
65. Why is it dangerous to be around locomotive drivers when they are cross?
They tend to blow off steam.
66. Why did the wolf have insomnia?
It counted sheep.
67. How do bomb squad agents party?
They have a blast.
68. Why did Mary divorce the butcher?
She was the one who brought home the bacon.
69. Which was the kangaroo's biggest defect?
It jumped to conclusions.
70. How does a K1-fighter encourage his son before an interview?
"Break a leg!"
71. Why did the driving instructor quit his job?
One student drove him up the wall.
72. What did the bank clerk say to the attractive customer?
"I have a huge interest in you".
73. How do you call the photo of somebody who suddenly loses their temper?
A snapshot.
74. How did the sauna address its lover?
"Hello sweatheart".
75. Why did Woody Woodpecker have no social life?
It used to bore everyone.
76. How does a lazybones define work?
A four-letter word.
77. Why aren't cats trustworthy?
Because they lie fifteen hours a day.
78. Why did the arsonist flunk British civilization?
He learnt only one lesson - the one about "The Great Fire".
79. How has the development of technology affected animals?
The mouse no longer squeaks but clicks.
80. What do top models do for a living?
They work on their tan.
81. Why did the old man collapse when he saw his blind date?
She was drop dead gorgeous.
82. How do porcupines ask for something to write?
"Quill you lend me a pen"?
83. When do people usually start gambling?
When the chips are down.
84. How do tsunamis say goodbye?
They wave.
85. How do you call the situation when the boss puts out his cigar on your papers?
Fire alarm.
86. Why did the lemon cross the road?
To show everyone that it was not yellow.
87. Why can't storks fly in communist countries?
They have only one wing. The left one.
88. How do moles greet each other?
89. What's the best topic to break the ice?
Global warming.
90. Why did the giraffe have no friends?
It looked down on everyone.
91. How do you punish a nomad?
You move them from their caravan in a trailer.
92. Why couldn't the vampire enjoy his victim?
The sight of him made her blood curdle.
93. What do prepositions say when they break up?
"We are through!"
94. What's the quickest way to climb from a port to a fort?
A one-step word ladder.
95. Why was the fashion designer so frustrated?
He never got to wear the trousers in his house.
96. Why didn't the meteorologist come to work?
She was under the weather.
97. Why didn't the insect ever brag?
It was a humble-bee.
98. Why wouldn't the hangman get married?
He had tied the knot too many times.
99. What is written on a polar bear's pantry door?
"Break seal in case of emergency".
100. Which was the librarian's biggest fear?
That she would end on the shelf.
101. What happened with the florist who was accused of tricking customers?
She came up smelling of roses.
102. Which is the best example of dead-end job?
Gravedigger.
103. Why was the flight delayed?
Nobody had the foggiest idea.
104. What did the electrician do when his wife cheated on him?
He blew a fuse.
105. Which is men's excuse to watch football all day long?
They are goal-oriented.
106. Why wouldn't the river go out with the spring?
It had found out it was shallow.
107. Why did the marathon runner have to shorten his speech?
His audience was miles away.
108. Why are mountain climbers so hard to be served a drink?
Because they always want it on the rocks.
109. Why did the lamb have its wool dyed pink?"
It got tired of being the black sheep of the family.
110. Why was the British reporter so worried?
He hadn't seen "The Sun" in the streets for a month.
111. What does a puppet in need say to another?
"Can you pull some strings for me?"
112. What did the old rabbit think about all day?
Its salad days.
113. Why do women sneeze when they date police officers?
They wear pepper spray.
114. What do water drops do when they are happy?
Tap dance.
115. Why do foxes drool every time they see the world map?
Turkey is in the middle of it.
116. Why was the old woman fined for speeding?
She was pushing ninety.
117. Why don't Croatians ever have regrets about misspelling?
Because "it's no use crying over Split milk".
118. What did Zorro shout to the innocent man who had a noose around his neck?
"Hang on a minute! I'll set you free!"
119. Why did the Japanese friends get drunk?
For old times 'sake.
120. What went wrong at the auction?
A Michelangelo's statue went under the hammer.
121. Why was the children's photo full of mice?
The photographer instructed "Say cheese!"
122. Why is Time more able than Space?
You can't do space but you can do time.
123. How does a medium feel in a haunted bar?
In high spirits.
124. Why didn't the hen do bungee-jumping?
It chickened out of it at the last minute.
125. Which is the baby's favourite music?
Swing.
126. Why was the mechanic put in a nuthouse?
He had a screw loose.
127. Why did the weightlifter have an unfortunate accident?
He pushed his luck with a 200 kg barbell.
128. Who would sing and dance in the company of a camel, an otter and a deer?
A party animal.
129. What do atoms say when they run into each other?
"It's a small world."
130. Do mute people use other ways of communication?
It goes without saying.
131. Why did the squirrel accept a menial job?
It got paid peanuts.
132. Why was the watchmaker crushing clocks?
He was killing time.
133. How can you tell if somebody adores tattoos?
It's written all over their faces.
134. Why couldn't the psychologist marry the porter?
He had too much baggage.
135. What does best match a nose ring?
A piercing scream.
136. Why did the masseuse get sacked?
She rubbed people up the wrong way.
137. How do lamps greet each other on October 31st?
Happy Halogen.
138. When do zoologists blush?
When they are asked about the birds and the bees.
139. What happened to the midget who became famous?
He was declared larger than life.
140. Why did the physicist win the Nobel Prize?
He managed to graze a horsepower on a magnetic field.
141. Why can't you beat Lady Gaga at cards?
She is well-known for her poker face.
142. How did the boa salute its guests?
"Give me a hug, will you?"
143. Why did everyone try to climb on the bar's roof?
They'd heard all drinks were on the house.
144. What did the shampoo manufacturer do when he was angry?
He foamed at the mouth.
145. Why was the calendar the talk of the town?
It had no dates anymore.
146. Why did the two vowels go for a holiday in the Indies?
They decided to take a hiatus.
147. Which was Miss Left's deepest regret?
That she had never met Mr. Right.
148. Why did Humpty Dumpty climb on the wall?
His friends egged him on.
149. How did the Pope win the chess game?
He sacrificed one bishop.
150. Why are astronauts so difficult to date?
They always ask for the moon.
151. Every time I park in front of the Opera the traffic police officer gives me a ticket.
152. People in Greenwich are good and kind but they follow a mean time.
153. The entertainer boasted that he had unusually flexible limbs but in fact he was just pulling everyone's leg.
154. I was planning to go Dutch but then we had a fight and dinner was on me.
155. Did you hear about the forensic photographer who was framed for murder?
156. The solution to tornado preventing technology came during a brainstorming session.
157. Which is the stressed syllable in the word "deadline"?
158. The Eagles had a concert in a café last week. Only culture vultures were allowed in.
159. What on earth are we doing to the planet?
160. When the tailor told the joke about the sewing machine he had everyone in stitches.
161. In my mind I have this project about a huge bonfire but I just can't put it on paper.
162. The waitress never bothered to change our ashtray so in the end we left her a filter tip.
163. After a terrible row, the patients who suffered from meteorism decided to clear the air.
164. Do all woodcutters sleep like a log?
165. One thing is for sure: the fear of tooth extraction is deeply rooted in us.
166. A seaweed addict pregnant crab took part in a marathon race. The baby grew its first arm in the second leg.
167. Once I dated a telephone operator for six months but in the end I couldn't give her a ring.
168. Much to the public's surprise, the strongest man in the world was unable to carry a tune.
169. With his "Journey to the centre of the earth", Jules Verne went down in history.
170. "I don't want to hear another word about punctuation! Period."
171. The tasty grape juice during fermentation is a must.
172. People have been trying to find out the reason of the last week major blackout but they are still kept in the dark.
173. Imagine my fury when I saw that my net salary was gross.
174. "It's so hard to learn the ropes!", the trainee puppeteer complained.
175. When the lion entered the arena, the crowd started to roar.
176. "Love moves mountains". Perfectly correct. Love for gold moves people to move mountains.
177. Selling pails at the market surely wasn't on my bucket list.
178. The idea that the level of the oceans is rising is gaining ground.
179. "Dracula" is a book to get your teeth into.
180. During World War II, the Japanese planes were given zero tolerance.
181. Fruit picking should be done when the time is ripe.
182. "Do you know that the bird flu video you posted yesterday has already gone viral?"
183. After a good night sleep the coach figured out the names of the dream team players.
184. Did you hear about the coffee maker who was fired on the grounds of bad coffee?
185. I think my surgeon and I started off on the wrong foot.
186. In autumn, all the trees in the military unit were censused and the oak was absent without leaf.
187. The customer who agitated the fork created quite a stir in the dining room.
188. Did you hear about the rail worker who lost his train of thoughts?
189. Wearing a Bugs Bunny tie at a business meeting is definitely a hare-brained idea.
190. Athletics runs in the family.
191. I am in the doghouse again; and my girlfriend's schnauzer relaxes on my bed.
192. When Mom saw that I'd stained the floor she hit the roof.
193. The two stand-up comedians dated for several months before they began to get serious.
194. 7.777.778 remains an even number against all odds.
195. The botanist had to hang up on his wife to answer nature's call.
196. Once I donated blood for a heart bypass surgery patient and she thanked me from the bottom of her heart.
197. Did you hear about the soldier toy that beat the drum all day? It was eventually charged with battery.
198. Carol is a workaholic. Luckily for her, her stress ulcer is indolent.
199. The adhesive expert suddenly found herself in a sticky situation.
200. Whenever I give a speech on nutrition, I make sure to put enough food for thought in it.
201. There is a rumour going around that gossip is bad.
202. How come the inventor of the fountain pen was never given an inkblot test?
203. In this restaurant, the meat that is very lightly cooked is rare.
204. The explorer proudly followed in his father's footsteps and ended up in the same crevasse in Alaska.
205. I tried to read "All about PC mistakes" on line. All I got was "fatal error".
206. To criticize a fine, expensive champagne is just sour grapes.
207. Andrew has been studying entomology since he was bitten by the bug few years ago.
208. When I first met him time stood still. He had a face that would stop a clock.
209. A king and a toilet cleaner played poker; the cleaner had good cards but the king won with a royal flush.
210. Playing violent video games is all the rage.
211. One referee almost got away with embezzlement but somebody in the club blew the whistle on him.
212. Some people just can't stomach tripe soup.
213. They say "love handles everything" but her love handles were simply too large for me to handle.
214. The chemistry teacher demonstrated that liquids cannot fracture. Then her water broke.
215. Matter makes the universe. The rest doesn't matter.
216. I spent the whole night trying to understand why I couldn't sleep then it dawned on me.
217. In the army there are many particular cases but the generals rule.
218. The active tenor that had been assigned to the grammar course hated the passive voice in it.
219. When they won the championship, the basketball team threw a huge party.
220. One may have mixed feelings about smoothies.
221. "A relationship must always have ups and down", said the elevator mechanic.
222. Despite the tough election campaign, the candidate of the Soil Erosion Association won by a landslide.
223. Our new furniture is to arrive tomorrow - knock on wood.
224. During the show, the magician was told to perform the handkerchief trick but it went in one ear and out the other.
225. The two archeologists couldn't remember how long they had been flirting with each other so they agreed to have a carbon dating.
226. Sam used to work in a footwear company but one day he got the boot.
227. A number of rude mathematicians entered politics and created a
vulgar fraction.
228. "Do you know how much a wedding costs these days? You will have to fork out £ 1000 only for cutlery!"
229. The little boy didn't want to confess he'd broken the vase but when his mother confronted him he cracked.
230. "For crying out loud, stop screaming!"
231. The charge of the dental surgery was a real kick in the teeth.
232. Did you hear about the half-naked guy who entered the restaurant? He just wanted a jacket potato.
233. Two tiles met in the basement of a hotel and clicked instantly.
234. In its pursuit of highly qualified personnel, the administration of the dam has decided to hire only eager beavers.
235. The show was cancelled because of the storm and everyone was given rain checks.
236. Paying for my girlfriend's weekly manicure at a posh salon is a nail in my coffin.
237. A slogan at the entrance of a container factory: "Think outside the box!"
238. The giants were engaged in small talk.
239. One treasure hunter just couldn't get a nice metal plate out of his head. It was from the First War.
240. "I have never had a memory loss ...uh, what was I saying?"
241. The menacing huge dogwood tree was all bark and no bite.
242. Did you hear about the citrus grower who wanted to buy a good car? They sold him a lemon instead.
243. They majority of DJ training schools started from scratch.
244. The maintenance technician failed to repair the loom so his boss called him on the carpet.
245. A stressed out turtle went to the doctor. It was recommended a change of pace.
246. I asked the beautiful fruit seller for a date but she gave me a fig.
247. Susan hoped to become a famous chef but her career proved to be only a flash in the pan.
248. "Don't you ever turn your back on me! After this, there is no turning back."
249. Much to everyone's surprise, the demolition company was under construction.
250. Seven guests showed up at eight o'clock. They were dressed to the nines.
251. The boomerang kid was eventually thrown out in the street by his parents.
252. David had to grease the mayor's palm to keep his hand cream shop running.
253. The tent has been torn apart by wind. R.I.P.
254. At the end of winter all plants spring in the air.
255. Did you hear about the policeman who fell in love with the heart surgeon? He had a cardiac arrest.
256. I went to the gym and spent one hour trying to work out how the treadmill functioned.
257. The astronaut that went into space came down with a strange disease.
258. If one grows the seeds of wrath, one is expert in angryculture.
259. A famous banker published a book. On the first page he gave credits to everybody.
260. Two tomatoes danced rumba on the table. Then they met on the floor for salsa.
261. When William insisted on showing me his new angling rod I knew he was fishing for compliments.
262. I've just had a nostril piercing made and I've paid through the nose for it.
263. Ever since he got a job in a bowling club, Stewart has discovered that life isn't all beers and skittles.
264. We should find a way to give Death a toll-free number.
265. Did you hear of the hot dog seller who lost his job because he couldn't cut the mustard anymore?
266. "I will never go out with a volcanologist. The last one set my heart on fire."
267. Seeing a grizzly ten feet away from you is more than anyone can bear.
268. I wanted to attend a pilot slow-paced training but they offered only crash courses.
269. "Doctor, I'm afraid I have too many phobias!"
270. When the plumber divorced he took everything but the kitchen sink.
271. The baker had a sponge cake in the stove and a bun in the oven.
272. Last week I bought my dog a collar at a flea market and he's got this terrible itch ever since.
273. The man who claimed to be a reincarnated owl didn't give a hoot about what people thought of him.
274. A judge that can't pronounce a sentence must consult a speech therapist.
275. TV breaking news: "Five agonizing flies were accidentally caught on tape this morning".
276. I just knew there was something wrong about that orthopedic doctor. I could feel it in my bones.
277. The two cosmetologists used to fight at breakfast and make up at lunch.
278. We wanted to buy a Johnny Cash DVD but they would accept only credit cards.
279. Everybody agreed that the lady who had an obsession with loose clothes needed a shrink.
280. I had been on the barber's chair for few minutes when the earthquake started. Let's just say it was a close shave.
281. Beginners feel disheartened when they study phrasal verbs but in the end they get over it.
282. Jack is willing to have a go at horse shoeing - just for kicks.
283. Kidnapping is the act of stealing a baby goat while the shepherd is napping.
284. The person who is suspected to have sabotaged the cruise ship has a watertight alibi.
285. My wife has just emptied my card on a silk dress. No hard feelings.
286. As she couldn't help fidgeting, the actress who played the role of the statue got her walking papers.
287. "People say I am lazy. I think it's just idle speculation."
288. Cliff is a fervent supporter of levitation but he doesn't have a leg to stand on.
289. Did you hear about the dyslexic witch who seemed to be under a spell?
290. The author of the article on corporal punishment requested a correction.
291. "Don't lend any money to George! That's borrowing trouble."
292. The stationery items started a riot. Obviously, they missed a firm
ruler.
293. Insomniacs constantly keep their eyes open for a discount on sleeping pills.
294. The name of the new gloss on the market was on everyone's lips.
295. Did you hear about the vocalist who killed a famous song? They sent him to Sing Sing.
296. The gardener had green fingers but was caught red-handed while stealing violets.
297. A Bengal tiger courted a Siberian tigress but it was given the cold shoulder.
298. The government stopped financing the space research program because it turned out to be a black hole.
299. Front-page headline: "Digital publishing industry faces serious opposition from a massive group of bookworms which threaten to go on hunger strike".
300. I say: "Jesus, it's cashmere, honey!"
She says: "Jesus, it's mere cash, honey!"
Appendix
A
absent without leave = absent from one's post or duty without official permission
addicted to = unable to stop taking harmful drugs, or using or doing something as a habit
a flash in the pan = briefly successful or popular
against all odds = despite many difficulties
all bark and no bite = when someone is "all bark and no bite," it means that they threaten to do something to someone else, but they are not really willing to do it
all beers and skittles = all fun and pleasure
all ears = informal ready to pay attention to what someone has to say
all the rage = informal very popular
an early bird = someone who gets up early in the morning
a nail in the coffin = one of a series of event or actions that seriously harm someone or something
a night owl = a person who tends to stay up until late at night
artefact = an object made by a human being, typically one of cultural or historical interest
ask for the moon = make unreasonable demands
auction = a public occasion when things are sold to the people who offer the most money for them
B
(emotional) baggage = unresolved emotional issues from the past
battery = an object that fits into something such as a radio, clock or car and supplies it with electricity; LEGAL the crime of hitting someone
be given the cold shoulder = informal to be treated in an unfriendly way by someone you know
be miles away = be thinking of something else and not paying attention to what you are doing or what someone is saying
be pushing (age) = informal be approaching a specified age
be through (with someone) = have ended a relationship
bishop = a Christian priest with a senior position who is responsible for all the churches in a particular area; a piece in the game of chess shaped like a bishop's hat
(be) bitten by the bug = informal become very enthusiastic about something
black hole = ASTRONOMY an area in outer space where the force of gravity is so strong that light and everything else around it is pulled into it; informal a situation in which large amounts of money are spent without bringing any benefits
black sheep of the family = the outcast of the family
blast = explosion, especially one caused by a bomb; spoken a very enjoyable experience
blind date = an arrangement in which two people who have never met before spend some time together in order to find out whether they like each other enough to start a relationship
blow a fuse = informal suddenly become very angry
blow/let off steam = express your feelings of anger or excitement without harming anyone
blow the whistle on (something/someone) = informal to tell someone in authority that someone is doing something dishonest or illegal
bookworm = the larva of a wood-boring beetle which feeds on the paper and glue in books
boomerang kid = informal a young adult who, after having lived on his or her own for a time, returns to live in the parental home, usually due to financial problems
bone of contention = something that people disagree or argue about
borrow trouble = make trouble for oneself
brag = talk about your achievements or possessions in a proud way that annoys other people
break a leg! = informal good luck!
break the ice = do or say something that makes people feel less shy or nervous in a social situation
bring home the bacon = to bring home money earned at a job
bucket list = informal a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime
(have) butterflies in one's stomach = feel very nervous or excited about something that you have to do, especially something important
C
call someone on the carpet = reprimand someone
caravan = a vehicle that people can live and travel in on holiday. Caravans are usually towed (=pulled) by a car. The American word is trailer; a group of people and vehicles travelling together, especially in a desert
carbon dating = a method of finding out the age of a very old object by measuring the amount of radioactive carbon it contains
cardiac arrest = heart attack
carry a tune = be able to sing accurately
cashmere = very soft wool that comes from a type of goat
CAT scan = Computerized Axial Tomography scan
catch on tape = film
census = an official count or survey, especially of a population
change of pace = a shift in normal routine, a variation in usual activities or pattern
charge = to put electricity into a piece of electrical equipment such as a battery; to accuse someone officially of committing a crime
chicken out = not do something you were going to do because you are too frightened
clear the air = get rid of stale or bad air; get rid of doubts or hard feelings
click = informal if two people click, they realize immediately that they like each other and understand each other
close shave = a narrow escape
club together = if people club together, each of them gives some money so that all the money collected can be used to buy something
(get) cold feet = lose previous enthusiasm or courage
colon = the symbol: used in writing, for example before an explanation or list. A colon is a punctuation mark; the lower part of your bowel
come/go under the hammer = be sold at an auction
come down with (a disease) = to become ill with a particular disease, usually one that is not serious
come up smelling of roses = to have people believe that you are good and honest after a difficult situation that could have made you seem bad or dishonest
conceited = arrogant
cosmetologist = a beauty professional who is trained in treating skin, hair, and nails
cost an arm and a leg = be very expensive
count sheep = to imagine sheep and count them as a way of making yourself go to sleep
crack = informal to lose control of yourself and say or do things that you would not normally say or do, for example, because you are tired or you have been threatened
crash course = a rapid and intense course of training or research
credit = an arrangement to receive goods from a shop or money from a bank and pay for it later; praise for something you have done or achieved
crevasse = a very deep crack in rock or ice
culture vulture = a person who is very interested in the arts
curdle = if milk or another liquid curdles, or if something makes it curdle, lumps begin to form in it
D
date = an arrangement to meet someone who you are having or starting a sexual or romantic relationship with; a sweet brown sticky fruit with a hard narrow seed inside that grows on palm trees
dawn on someone = become evident to the mind
dead-end job = a job that provides you with no chance of getting a better job
death row = the part of a prison for housing inmates who have received the death penalty
dogwood = a bush or tree with red stems and berries
do time = informal spend time in prison
dream team = a team or group whose members are among the most qualified or talented in their particular fields
dressed to the nines = informal to be wearing fashionable or formal clothes for a special occasion
drive someone up the wall = annoy or irritate someone
drool = let saliva come out of your mouth
drop-dead gorgeous = informal extremely attractive
dump = informal end a romantic relationship with someone
duvet day = a day when someone stays off work because they are tired or ill
dyslexic = someone who has dyslexia (a medical condition affecting the brain that makes it difficult for someone to read and spell words correctly)
E
eager beaver = someone who is extremely enthusiastic and enjoys working extremely hard
early bird = a person who usually gets up early in the morning
egg on = to encourage someone to do something that they should not do
embezzlement = the act of stealing money that people trust you to look after as part of your work
escargot = the edible snail especially as an item on a menu
everything but the kitchen sink = nearly everything that you own
F
face the music = informal to accept punishment or criticism for something you have
done wrong
fall out with = informal stop being friendly with someone because you have had a disagreement with them
fidget = keep making small quick movements with parts of your body because you are bored, nervous or impatient
fine = an amount of money that you have to pay because you have broken the law; if something is fine, it is good enough and acceptable to you
fish for a compliment = to try to get someone to pay oneself a compliment
flea market = a market where old things are sold at low prices
flint = a hard grey stone that was used in the past for making tools
flunk = fail a test or a course
flush = make water pass through a toilet; a group of cards held by someone in a card game that all belong to the same suit
foam at the mouth = informal be very angry
follow in someone's footsteps = to do the same work or achieve the same success as someone else before you
food for thought = something for someone to think about
for crying out loud = used to express frustration, exasperation, or annoyance
forensic = relating to the use of scientific methods to solve crimes and find out who committed them
for kicks = informal if you do something for kicks, especially something dangerous, you do it because you think it is exciting
fork out = spend money on something especially when you do not want to
for old times' sake = so that you can remember a happy time in the past
four-letter word = a short word that is considered rude or offensive, especially because it refers to sex or other functions of the body
frame = informal to make someone seem guilty of a crime when they are not, for example by lying to the police or by producing false evidence
from the bottom of one's heart = with the deepest appreciation; most sincerely
(have) friends in high places = important people whom you can ask for support and help in getting what you want
(have a ) frog in one's throat = a feeling of hoarseness in one's throat that causes you to lose your voice or be unable to speak clearly for a short time.
G
gain ground = become more popular or accepted
get someone/something out of one's head = manage to forget someone/something
get the boot = informal be told to leave your job
get your teeth into something = to get completely involved in something
give me five = spoken used for asking someone to hit their open hand against yours usually as a way of celebrating
give someone a hand = informal help somebody
give someone a hug = put your arms around someone to show your love or friendship
give someone a ring = give somebody a call
goal-oriented = a person or team that is goal-oriented works hard to achieve good results in the tasks that they have been given
go down in history = be remembered or recorded in history
go Dutch = share the cost of something, especially a meal, equally
go in one ear and out the other = if information goes in one ear and out the other, the person who is told it forgets it immediately because they do not listen carefully enough
go to bed with the chickens = go to bed very early
grease someone's palm = bribe someone
gross = a gross amount of money is the total amount before taxes or costs have been taken out; informal extremely unpleasant. This word is used mainly by young people
gossip = conversation about unimportant subjects, especially people's private lives
guillotine = a machine used in the past for cutting off somebody's head
H
hang on = wait for a short period of time
hang out with = informal spend time enjoying or relaxing with someone
hare-brained = rash; ill-judged
have a bun in the oven = humorous be pregnant
have a frog in your throat = be unable to speak clearly for a short time because your throat is dry or blocked
have a screw loose = informal be slightly crazy
have a whale of a time = enjoy yourself very much
have green fingers = have a natural ability in growing plants
have the guts = informal have courage
hiatus = formal a period of time when something does not happen; LINGUISTICS a pause between two vowel sounds that come one after the other for example in the word naive
hit the roof = informal become very angry
hive = a container in which bees live and make honey
holy cow! = informal an exclamation of surprise
horn in = try to become involved in something that other people do not want you to be involved in
horsepower = a unit for measuring the power of a vehicle's engine
humble-bee = another term for bumblebee (a large hairy bee)
hunch = a feeling or guess based on intuition rather than fact; sit or stand with your back and shoulders curved forwards
hunger strike = voluntary fast undertaken as a means of protest
I
I (can) feel it in my bones = something that you say when you are certain something is true or will happen, although you have no proof
idle = lazy; (speculation, threat, etc) without foundation
indolent = lazy; slow to heal, grow, or develop
in high spirits = extremely joyful and enjoying oneself
injury time = time added at the end of a match because time has been lost dealing with injured players
inkblot test = a psychological test in which a person is shown spots of ink and asked what they look like as a way of learning about the person's personality or feelings
in one ear and out the other = PROV. heard but not remembered (used to describe something that someone does not listen to)
in stitches = informal laughing very hard
in the doghouse = if you are in the doghouse, someone is angry with you because you have done something wrong
itch = unpleasant feeling on your skin that makes you want to scratch it
it goes without saying = phrase used to mean that something is obvious
it's no use crying over spilt milk = something that you say which means you should not get upset about something bad that has happened that you cannot change
J
jacket potato = a potato cooked with its skin on
jump to conclusions = to judge or decide something without having all the facts
K
keep someone in the dark = keep someone uninformed about someone or something
kick in the teeth = informal if you get a kick in the teeth, something bad happens to you or you feel that you've been treated poorly
kidnap = illegally take someone away and make them a prisoner
kill a song = ruin a song by singing it the wrong way
kill time = do something while waiting
knock on wood = said as a wish for good luck
L
landslide = an overwhelming majority of votes for one party or candidate in an election
larger than life = more interesting and more exciting than an ordinary person or thing
learn the ropes = informal to know or learn to do something, especially a job
leg = part of body; part of a journey/race
lemon = informal an unsatisfactory or feeble person or thing
let one's hair down = informal relax and enjoy yourself because you are in a comfortable environment
look down on = think that you are better or more important than someone else
lose your train of thought = forget what you are thinking
love handles = informal excess fat around waistline
M
make a scene = to be loud and rude with other people or in public
make up = become friends again
mean= informal cruel or unkind
menial = menial work is boring or dirty and is considered to be of low status
mere = used for emphasizing that something is small or unimportant
meteorism = condition in which there is an excessive accumulation of gas in the intestinal tract
Mr. Right = informal the ideal future husband
mummy = informal a mother; a dead body that has been treated with special oils and wrapped in long narrow pieces of cloth to prevent it from decaying, especially in ancient Egypt
must = if something is a must it means something that you definitely need in a particular situation; freshly pressed grape juice that contains the skins, seeds, and stems of the fruit
N
nature's call = the feeling of a need to go to the toilet
night owl = a person who usually stays up and is active until late at night
no hard feelings = no anger or resentment
not cut the mustard = informal to not be good enough
not give a hoot = to not care about something
not have a leg to stand on = have no reasonable or logical basis for an opinion
not have the foggiest idea = spoken used for emphasizing that you do not know anything at all about something
nuthouse = a home or hospital for people with mental illnesses
O
once in a blue moon = informal very rarely
one's salad days = the period when one is young and inexperienced
on everyone's lips = being talked about by a lot of people
on (the) grounds of = a reason for what you say or do, or for being allowed to say or do something
on the house = given to you free in a restaurant, hotel, bar, or club
on the rocks = informal (of a drink) served undiluted with ice cubes
on the shelf = unlikely to find a partner or get married, usually because of being too old
P
(get) paid peanuts = be paid a small amount of money
party animal = informal a very outgoing person who enjoys parties and similar social activities
pay through the nose = pay a very high price for something
phrasal verb = a combination of words that is used like a verb and consists of a verb and an adverb or preposition, for example get over
piece of cake = informal something that is very easy to do
piercing = the practice of having a hole made through a part of your body so that you can put jewelry in it
play devil's advocate = pretend to disagree with someone in order to start an argument or interesting discussion
poker face = an impassive expression that hides one's true feelings
pop the question = informal ask someone to marry you
porcupine = a small animal whose back is covered with hairs that have sharp points that it uses to defend itself by making them point up
pull somebody's leg = try to persuade someone to believe something that is not true as a joke
pull strings = to use your influence in order to get something that you want or to help someone, especially when this is unfair
punch line = the last few words of a joke, including the part that makes the joke funny
pupil = the black round part in the middle of your eye; someone, especially a child who goes to school or who has lessons in a particular subject
put one's foot in one's mouth = say something stupid or embarrassing.
push one's luck = to try too hard to get a particular result and risk losing what you have achieve
put somebody on a pedestal = admire or love someone so much that you believe they have no faults
put on weight = to get fat
Q
queue = a line of people waiting for something in a shop or similar place
quill = a large feather from the wing or tail of a bird; a pen made from a quill feather; a long thin sharp object like a stick that grows from the body of porcupines and some other animals
R
rain check = a piece of paper that you can use to buy something later that is not available at the moment
rare = not happening very often ; rare meat has been cooked only for a short period of time and is red inside
read between the lines = try to understand the deeper meaning of something which is not said or written explicitly
red-handed = used to indicate that a person has been discovered in or just after the act of doing something wrong or illegal
R.I.P. = abbr. Latin requiescat in pace (= may he/she rest in peace)
ripe = ripe fruit or crops have grown to their full size and are ready to eat or use; if the time is ripe for something it means that a particular time is right for something to happen
roar = if a crowd of people roar, they all shout at the same time because they are angry or excited; if a lion roars, it makes a loud deep sound
rub someone up the wrong way = informal do or say things that annoy someone
ruler = an object used for measuring or for drawing straight lines; someone who controls a country
rumba = a dance from Cuba done by a man and a woman together
rumour = unofficial information that may or may not be true
run in the family = if a characteristic or ability runs in the family, a lot of people in that family have it
run into somebody = meet someone you know when you are not expecting to
S
sake = an alcoholic beverage of Japanese origin that is made from fermented rice
salsa = a sauce made from tomatoes, onion, chilli peppers and spices, served with Mexican or Spanish food; a type of Latin-American dance music influenced by jazz and rock
say cheese = an instruction used by a photographer who is trying to get their subject to smile
school = a large group of fish
seal = a large sea animal that eats fish and lives mainly in cold parts of the world; a piece of something such as wire or wax that seals a container and that you have to break before you can open the container
season = add salt, pepper, or other spices to food
shallow = if water is shallow it is not deep; a shallow person is not interested in serious ideas, strong feelings, or other important things
shrink = become smaller in size; informal psychiatrist
sleep like a log = sleep very well
slip one's mind = if something slips your mind, you forget to do it
sloth = an animal that lives in trees and moves very slowly
small talk = casual or trivial conversation
snail mail = conventional postal delivery services
snapshot = a photograph taken without the use of professional equipment
sour grapes = criticism of something that you make because you are annoyed that you cannot have it
spare ribs = a variety of pork ribs and beef ribs
squash = damage something by pressing or crushing it and making it lose its normal shape; a large hard vegetable with very thick skin
stammer = keep repeating a sound and have difficulty in saying certain words because of a speech problem, nervousness, excitement etc
start from scratch = to start from nothing
start off on the wrong foot = being things incorrectly
stationery = pens, paper, envelopes, pencils and other things used for writing
sticky situation = a situation that is difficult or dangerous
stir = move food around in a dish or pan using a spoon or other object; a situation in which a lot of people feel interested or angry
stomach = (usually in negatives) if you cannot stomach something, you cannot bear to do it or deal with it
swing = a style of jazz or dance music with a flowing but vigorous rhythm
T
tadpole = a small animal that live in water and develops into a frog
take it easy = be calm and not get too excited or angry
tan = the dark colour of your skin when you have spent time in the sun
tap dance = a style of dancing in which you move your feet very quickly and make sounds with the special shoes that you wear
The Big Apple = nickname for New York City
the Big Bang = an explosion that some scientists believe happened 15 billion years ago and caused the universe to begin to exist
the birds and the bees = this expression refers to courtship and sexual intercourse, and is usually used in reference to teaching someone, often a young child, about sex and pregnancy
there is no turning back = phrase used to mean that you can't back out of something
the talk of the town = a current subject of widespread gossip or speculation in (a particular place)
the time is right for something = used for saying that a particular time is right for something to happen
think outside the box = to think differently, unconventionally
throw a party = have a party
ticket = a piece of paper that shows you have paid to go into a place of entertainment such as a cinema or football ground; an official piece of paper that shows a driver that they must pay money for committing a traffic offence
tie the knot = informal get married
tip = a narrow or pointed end, especially of something long or thin; a small amount of money that you give to someone in addition to what you owe for a service
toll = the number of deaths or casualties arising from a natural disaster, conflict, accident, etc.
toll-free number = a toll-free telephone number is one that you can call without having to pay
trailer = an advertisement for a film or television programme that shows a short part of
that film or programme; American a caravan pulled by a car
tripe = the stomach of a cow or a sheep eaten as food
turn your back on someone = refuse to help someone
U
ulcer = MEDICAL a sore area on the inside of an organ in your body or on your skin that sometimes bleeds or produces a poisonous substance
(be) under the weather = if a person is under the weather, they do not feel well
ups and downs = a mixture of both good and bad experiences
V
viral = caused by or relating to a virus; informal very popular and spreading very quickly, especially on the Internet
vulgar fraction = a fraction expressed by numerator and denominator, not decimally
W
walking papers = informal an act of telling someone that they are no longer wanted, needed or employed
(a woman's) water broke = the placenta has broken, enabling the baby to begin traveling down the birth canal
watertight = flawless
wave = a line of water that rises up on the surface of a sea, lake or river; move your hand to say hello or goodbye or as a signal
wear the trousers = informal be the person in a relationship who has the most control and makes all the important decisions
when the chips are down = when you are in a difficult or dangerous situation, especially one which tests whether you can trust people
workaholic = someone who spends most of their time working and has little interest in other things
work out = to solve a problem by considering the facts; do physical exercise as a way of keeping fit
wrath = very great anger
written all over somebody's face = it is very evident and can easily be detected when looking at someone's face.
Y
yellow = informal coward
Z
zero tolerance = used to describe a set of rules that allow for absolutely no exceptions
Pun Mind Map
1. fox - turkey - Thanksgiving
2. shark diving tour - an arm and a leg
3. contortionist - put foot in mouth
4. punctuation - digest - colon
5. soldiers - letters - read between the lines
6. Alzheimer - forget about it
7. garbage bins - get dumped
8. snake - hisstory
9. welders - heavy metal
10. boxers - spare ribs
11. shipwrecked dentist - miss teeth
12. cheetahs - nutrition - fast food
13. Bill Gates - icons
14. artefact collector - mummy
15. sardine - schools
16. Eskimo - altar - cold feet
17. farmer - bull - holy cow
18. Moby Dick - a whale of a time
19. Quasimodo - have a hunch
20. Leo - Scorpio - horrorscope
21. stammer - great-great-great grandfather
22. chameleon - dinner - butterflies in stomach
23. bald guys - parties - let hair down
24. confectioner - piece of cake
25. glutton - season - steak
26. balloons - pop the question
27. English teachers - beat-beat-beaten
28. IT workers - sick - tablet
29. stuffed animals - taxidermist - have the guts
30. bees - give me hive
31. comedian - punch line
32. wet cloth - hang out with
33. condor - friends in high places
34. sculptors - lovers - pedestal
35. armless man - "no hands needed"
36. worm - New York
37. people - lose head - guillotine
38. sloths - argue
39. vegetable - feet - squash
40. testament - will
41. cavemen - disco - club together
42. donkeys - all ears
43. ornithologist- early bird - night owl
44. janitor -slipped one's mind
45. flint piece - no spark
46. teacher - king's children - pupils
47. jelly - earthquake
48. sun - dark - once in a blue moon
49. kitten - CAT scans
50. traffic officers - fine day
51. difficult - idioms - take it easy
52. blanket weaver - duvet days
53. cannibal - give me a hand
54. rhino - rude - horn in
55. onion - date - cry
56. refuse collector - "no" - take out the garbage
57. poultry farmer - go to bed with the chickens
58. drop the piano - face the music
59. tadpole - frog in throat
60. skeleton - bone of contention
61. debate - lawyers - play devil's advocate
62. typist - house - keys
63. jump the queue - death row
64. escargot - recipe - snail mail
65. locomotive drivers - blow off steam
66. wolf - count sheep - insomnia
67. bomb squad - party - blast
68. divorce - butcher - bring home the bacon
69. kangaroo - defect - jump to conclusions
70. K1 fighter - break a leg
71. driving instructor - drive up the wall
72. bank clerk- have an interest in
73. picture - lose temper - snapshot
74. sauna - sweatheart
75. Woody woodpecker - bore
76. lazybones - four letter-word
77. cats - trustworthy - lie
78. arsonist - Great Fire lesson
79. technology - mouse - click
80. top models - work on tan
81. old man - blind date - drop dead gorgeous
82. porcupines - quill - pen
83. gamble - the chips are down
84. tsunami - goodbye - wave
85. boss - cigar - fire alarm
86. lemon - cross road - yellow
87. storks - communist - left wing
88. moles - long time no see
89. topic - break the ice - global warming
90. giraffe - no friends - look down on
91. nomad - caravan - trailer
92. vampire - blood curdle
93. prepositions - break up - through
94. port - fort - word ladder
95. fashion designer - wear the trousers
96. meteorologist - under the weather
97. insect - brag - humble-bee
98. hangman - tie the knot
99. polar bear - pantry - break seal
100. librarian - fear - on the shelf
101. florist - come up smelling of roses
102. dead-end job - gravedigger
103. flight - delayed - the foggiest idea
104. electrician - blow a fuse
105. men - excuse - goal-oriented
106. river - spring - shallow
107. marathon runner - speech - miles away
108. mountain climbers - drink - on the rocks
109. lamb - pink - black sheep
110. British reporter - worried - "The Sun"
111. puppet - in need - pull strings
112. old rabbit - salad days
113. police officers - pepper spray
114. water drops - tap dance
115. foxes - world map - Turkey
116. old woman - speeding - pushing ninety
117. Croatians - misspelling - Split milk
118. Zorro - noose - hang on
119. Japanese friends - drunk - sake
120. Michelangelo - under the hammer
121. photo - mice - "say cheese"
122. Time - more able - Space
123. medium - haunted bar - high spirits
124. hen - bungee-jumping - chicken out
125. baby - music - swing
126. mechanic - nuthouse - screw loose
127. weightlifter - accident - push one's luck
128. camel - otter - deer - party animal
129. atoms - it's a small world
130. mute people - it goes without saying
131. squirrel - pay peanuts
132. watchmaker - kill time
133. tattoos - written all over the face
134. psychologist - porter - baggage
135. nose ring - piercing scream
136. masseuse - sacked - rub up the wrong way
137. lamps - Happy Halogen
138. zoologists - the birds and the bees
139. midget - larger than life
140. Nobel Prize - horsepower - magnetic field
141. Lady Gaga - poker face
142. boa - give me a hug
143. bar's roof - on the house
144. shampoo manufacturer - foam at the mouth
145. calendar - the talk of town
146. vowels - the Indies - hiatus
147. Miss Left - Mr. Right
148. Humpty Dumpty - climb - egg on
149. Pope - sacrifice - bishop
150. astronauts - ask for the moon
151. park - Opera - ticket
152. people - Greenwich - mean time
153. entertainer - pull everyone's leg
154. go Dutch - dinner on me
155. forensic photographer - framed for murder
156. tornado technology - brainstorming session
157. stressed syllable - deadline
158. The Eagles - culture vultures
159. what on earth - planet
160. tailor - joke - in stitches
161. project - bonfire - put on paper
162. waitress - ashtray - filter tip
163. row - meteorism - clear the air
164. woodcutters - sleep like a log
165. fear - tooth extraction - rooted
166. pregnant crab - marathon - arm in leg
167. date - telephone operator - ring
168. strongest man - carry a tune
169. Jules Verne - go down in history
170. punctuation - period
171. grape juice - must
172. blackout - keep in the dark
173. net salary - gross
174. learn the ropes - trainee puppeteer
175. lion - crowd - roar
176. love - mountains - love for gold
177. selling pails - bucket list
178. oceans - rising - gain ground
179. "Dracula" - get your teeth into
180. Japanese planes - zero tolerance
181. fruit picking - time - ripe
182. bird flu video - viral
183. sleep - coach - dream team
184. coffee maker - fired - on grounds of
185. surgeon - on the wrong foot
186. oak - censused - absent without leaf
187. customer - fork - stir
188. rail worker - train of thoughts
189. Bugs Bunny tie - hare-brained idea
190. athletics - run - family
191. in the doghouse - schnauzer - bed
192. stain the floor - hit the roof
193. stand-up comedians - get serious
194. 7.777.778 - against all odds
195. botanist - nature's call
196. donate blood - from the bottom of the heart
197. soldier toy - charged with battery
198. workaholic - ulcer - indolent
199. adhesive expert - sticky situation
200. speech - nutrition - food for thought
201. rumour - gossip - bad
202. fountain pen - inkblot test
203. meat - lightly cooked - rare
204. explorer - follow footstep - crevasse
205. PC mistakes - fatal error
206. criticize champagne - sour grapes
207. entomology - bitten by the bug
208. time stood still - face - stop a clock
209. king - toilet cleaner
210. violent video games - all the rage
211. referee - blow the whistle
212. can't stomach - tripe soup
213. love handles everything - love handles
214. chemistry teacher - water broke
215. matter - universe - doesn't matter
216. couldn't sleep - dawn on
217. army - particular - generals
218. active tenor - passive voice
219. basketball team - throw a party
220. mixed feelings - smoothies
221. ups and downs - elevator mechanic
222. soil erosion - landslide victory
223. furniture - knock on wood
224. magician - in one ear and out the other
225. archeologists - flirt - carbon dating
226. footwear company - get the boot
227. rude mathematicians - politics - vulgar fraction
228. wedding - fork out - cutlery
229. confess - break the vase - crack
230. crying out loud - scream
231. dental charge - kick in the teeth
232. half-naked guy - jacket potato
233. tiles - click
234. dam - eager beavers
235. show - cancel - rain checks
236. manicure - nail in coffin
237. container factory - think outside the box
238. giants - small talk
239. treasure hunter - metal plate - the First War
240. memory loss - what was I saying
241. dogwood tree - all bark and no bite
242. citrus grower - car - lemon
243. DJ schools - start from scratch
244. technician - loom - call on the carpet
245. stressed turtle - doctor
246. fruit seller - date - fig
247. chef - career - flash in the pan
248. don't turn your back - no turning back
249. demolition company - under construction
250. seven guests - eight - dressed to the nines
251. boomerang kid - thrown out
252. grease palm - hand cream shop
253. tent - R.I.P
254. winter - plants - spring
255. policeman - heart surgeon - cardiac arrest
256. gym - work out - treadmill
257. astronaut - strange disease
258. seeds of wrath - angryculture
259. banker - book - credits to everybody
260. tomatoes - rumba - salsa
261. angling rod - fish for compliments
262. nostril piercing - pay through the nose
263. bowling club - all beers and skittles
264. Death - toll-free number
265. hot dog seller - cut the mustard
266. volcanologist - set heart on fire
267. grizzly - more than anyone can bear
268. pilot training - crash courses
269. afraid - too many phobias
270. plumber - divorce - kitchen sink
271. baker - sponge cake - bun in the oven
272. dog collar - flea market - itch
273. reincarnated owl - not give a hoot
274. judge - sentence - speech therapist
275. five flies - caught on tape
276. orthopedic doctor - feel it in bones
277. cosmetologists - fight - make-up
278. Johnny Cash - credit cards
279. obsession - loose clothes - shrink
280. barber - earthquake - close shave
281. beginners - phrasal verbs - get over
282. horse shoeing - just for kicks
283. kidnapping - shepherd - nap
284. sabotage - watertight alibi
285. silk dress - no hard feelings
286. actress - statue - walking papers
287. lazy - idle speculation
288. levitation - a leg to stand on
289. dyslexic witch - under a spell
290. corporal punishment - correction
291. lend money - borrow trouble
292. stationery items - riot - ruler
293. insomniacs - sleeping pills - discount
294. new gloss - on everyone's lips
295. vocalist - Sing Sing
296. green fingers - red-handed - violets
297. tiger - tigress - cold shoulder
298. space research program - black hole
299. digital publishing - bookworms - hunger strike
300. cashmere - mere cash