jokes, joke cycles, and practical jokes

Download Jokes, Joke Cycles, and Practical Jokes

Post on 27-Jul-2015




4 download

Embed Size (px)


1. 1 Jokes, Joke Cycles and Practical Jokes by Don L. F. Nilsen and Alleen Pace Nilsen 2. KETCHUP: 2 3. 3 Joking Relationships Joking relationships occur between two persons in which one is by custom permitted and in some instances required to tease or make fun of the other. 4. 4 EXAGGERATION & SURPRISE Exaggeration and surprise are features that can be found in most jokes. Bill Dana demonstrates that the same joke can be told with only the details and local color changing, and the rest of the joke remaining the same. 5. 5 FIRST TELLING A large group is assembled in an auditorium when from the loudspeaker comes the message: Will the person with New York license plate BL 74468459030623145098725, kindly remove it? Your license plate is blocking traffic. 6. 6 SECOND TELLING Two cowboys are talking and the first one explains that the name of his ranch is the Bar Nine Circle Z Rocking O Flying W Lazy R Happy Two Flying Nun Ranch. A second cowboy asks if he has many cattle, and the first cowboy responds, Not many survive the branding. 7. 7 THIRD TELLING Two football players are talking and one of them begins describing a heroic run he made during the final game of the season. Nobody on the opposing team could tackle him. 8. 8 Finally, they brought a cannon out onto the field, and they shot me with the cannon, and then airplanes came down with machine guns. They still couldnt stop me. And I finally made a touchdown. The other player indignantly interjects that Anybody who was in the stadium could prove that was a lie. The first player responded, There were no survivors. 9. FAKE PLAY: PIANO JUGGLER: 9 10. 10 JOKE CYCLES Very often jokes occur in joke cycles. Consider the following joke cycles. 11. 11 ACRONYM JOKES These jokes are often found on vanity license plates or bumper stickers: 10SNE1 (tennis anyone?) XQUSME (excuse me) 4RGRAN (for our grandchild) BS, MS, PhD (Bull Shit, More of the Same, Piled Higher and Deeper) 12. 12 LIGHTBULB JOKES How many New Yorkers? 3: One to do it and two to criticize. How many grad students? 3: 2 plus a professor to take the credit How many Jewish mothers? None: Ill just sit in the dark. 13. 13 How many Los Angeles Police? 6: one to do it and five to smash the old bulb to smithereens. How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2: but they have to be really small. How many Dolly clones? As many as youd like. As many as youd like. As many as youd like. 14. 14 LIGHT BULB JOKE VARIATION: Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew the light bulb. 15. 15 NEW DEFINITIONS Artery: The study of painting Bacteria: The back door of a cafeteria Barium: What doctors do when patients die. 16. A Practical Joke 16 17. 17 A practical joke is possible here, but in this clip everything is legitimate. NOTE: This one is legitimate; however there is another tennis-ball piano player who has the tune preprogramed into the keyboard, and all he has to do is hit the keyboard anyplace at the right time. TENNIS-BALL PIANO PLAYER: 18. 18 SNIGLETS Rich Hall invented the term sniglet for a word that should be in the dictionary, but isnt. Elbonics (el bon iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater. 19. 19 Esso Asso (eso aso): The person behind you in a right-hand turn lane who cuts through the Esso Station. Pupkus (pupkus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it. Phonesia (fo nee zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer. 20. 20 TOM SWIFTIES People who used to read the Tom Swift novels invented a new type of joke: My name is Tom, he said Swiftly. This pattern is extended to: Id like my egg boiled, she whispered softly. 21. 21 Get to the back of the boat! he shouted sternly. Would you like another pancake? she asked flippantly. She works in the mines, he roared ironically. 22. 22 TOP TEN LIST In 1993 when David Letterman left NBC to move to a better time slot at CBS, he made a list of his Top 10 Things I Have To Do Before I Leave NBC. Here are some of the items on that list: Drop off hairpiece at security desk. Vacuum out Wendell (his announcer) and write down his mileage. 23. 23 Steal my weight in office supplies. Let my plastic surgeon step out and take a bowthis has been his show as much as mine. Get one more cheap laugh by saying the word Buttafuoco. 24. TRICK PLAY IN FOOTBALL: 24 25. 25 VIRUS JOKES AT&T Virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. MCI Virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that youre paying too much for the AT&T virus. 26. 26 Paul Revere Virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attackonce if by LAN, twice if by C:>. New World Order Virus: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it. 27. 27 EPIPHANY What all jokes seem to have is an epiphany. So here is a joke that illustrates the nature of epiphany: A man has been a customer in a particular restaurant for twenty years. He sits down to his regular dinner and immediately calls the waiter over to his table and demands that he taste the soup. 28. 28 The waiter is most apologetic and says, Im sorry sir. Whats wrong? Here, let me get you another bowl. Taste the soup! demands the irritated customer. 29. 29 Again the waiter apologizes and leans forward to whisk away the offending bowl. No! demands the customer, who by now is irate: Taste the soup. The humbled waiter leans over to obey and asks in surprise, Wheres the spoon? Ah ha! cries the customer. 30. A Parody and A Parody of a Parody BUSH ON GLOBAL WARMING (BILL FERRELL TAKEOFF): BUSH ON GLOBAL WARMING (KID TAKEOFF): 30