40 Things Every Woman Should Understand About Love Halle Kaye  December 7, 2014

1. When it comes to men, act like the buyer, not the seller.

2. Men are not women. They don’t want to watch The Fault In Our Stars with you.

3. The hottest guy in the room is usually an asshole.

4. Hold on to your girlfriends. They will fulfill you in ways a man can’t.

5. Bitching and nagging don’t work. The only thing that really gets a man’s attention:  leaving.

6. In a negotiation, you’ll probably end up with the least you’re willing to take. This is true when it comes to men also. So: have high standards and stick to them.

7. A man in love will do anything for you… until he realizes he has you. So when you give yourself to him, tryto hold a little back to keep him on his toes.8. Settling rarely works. It’s like buying something on credit — you’ll eventually have to pay. Be picky.

9. You don’t need to know how to cook but most men will appreciate it if you do.

10. There are some fantastic men out there but whether one of them becomes your boyfriend or husband depends alot on how much you respect yourself.

11. Men want to be successful, at work and in their relationships. If you want to make him happy, show him that he’s succeeded in making you happy. (Conversely, complain all the time and he’ll associate you with failure.)

12. Don’t get caught up in how good a guy looks “on paper.” His resume might make him seem like a catch but hemight just be an asshole walking around in catch’s clothing.

13. Men will aways look at attractive women, even when they’re in love. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. The good ones do it in a way that isn’t obvious.

14. If a guy isn’t into you, don’t doubt yourself — doubt him.

15. Your physical appearance isn’t the most attractive part of you. Looks fade; charm is forever.16. Sex — and life, in fact — are most fun when you’re comfortable with yourself. If you’re not comfortable with yourself, you should make that a priority.

17. Don’t play hard to get. Be hard to get.18. If you’re spending hours on the phone with your girlfriends analyzing a guy’s behavior, he’s not the one.

19. Don’t be an overpleaser when it comes to men. A woman who’s too nice is a turnoff.20. If he’s not chasing you in the beginning, he’ll disappoint you in the end.21. It’s better to be alone than in a relationshit. Know when to walk away and don’t look back.22. Romantic comedies are for women what porn is for men: fantasy. Men in real life don’t behave like characters Ryan Gosling plays on screen.

23. Toss your checklist. Love is an adventure — it’s best experienced without a map.

24. Sex gets better with every passing year. So do we, in all the ways that really matter.

25. You will get over your ex. That moment of total recovery — when you can’t believe wtf you were doing with him in the first place— is liberating. Don’t stand in the way of it by texting him, seeing him, or sleeping with him.26. Don’t ever compete with another woman for a man. It’s beneath you.

27. Texting can get you into trouble. Don’t be rash. Think before you send.28. Never revolve your life around a man. No matter how much he wants you around, maintain some independence. Your relationship will be better off for it and last longer.

29. It’s not for you to prove yourself to a man. He should be trying to prove himself to you.

30. You’re not a bomb. Stop worrying about the ticking of your clock.31. Today is the youngest you’ll ever be. Live it up.

32. When a woman flirts, it should be unmistakable but understated.

33. A man needs to hunt you and win you in order to value you. Don’t ruin it by giving it up too easily. In fact, make it the hunt of his life and he might just become the love of your life.34. It doesn’t matter that you don’t look like a model. But it matters if you’re preoccupied with that. There’s nothing sexier than a confident, secure woman.35. If you feel like you need to check his phone, it’s already over.36. Nice guys will look better and better as you get older.37. If you’ve never had an orgasm, you haven’t lived. Work on that.

38. Don’t ever curse your intelligence, even if it feels like it complicates your love life. Being smart is invaluable and will ultimately serve you well in both life and love.39. A man who wants you will make it known.

40. Who he is at the beginning is probably the best he’ll ever be. If he’s not bringing his best when he’s first getting to know you, run.

 Halle Kaye  September 8, 2014

When you’re single, everyone — especially that frenemy who finally found a guy after years of being alone and now thinks she knows everything — has something to say. Some of the advice is well-intentioned and, we admit, even right on but that doesn’t mean it’s not annoying as f*ck, like:

1. Maybe you should make a vision board.Yeah? Maybe I should say abracadabra over a top hat while I’m at it.2. Are you going to the right places?There are “right” places?? OMG. I had no idea. Please give me the addresses of all of them right now. I’m going to go there immediately to get my future husband.3. Just freeze your eggs.Sure, I’ll do it during lunchtime. It’s as easy as getting a facial, right? Um, an invasive surgical facial that involves days of ass injections.4. Have you tried online?I have chronic eye strain from excessive Tinder swiping, thank you.5. You have so much freedom.Yeah, I love being able to do whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it… by myself.6. You have to love yourself first.Believe me, I do — almost nightly.7. Stop being so picky.Right. Because I should really have given that guy — the one who flossed his teeth at the table on our first date — a second chance.8. Never settle.Of course this one always comes from the married friend who is exhausted by the husband she found after she decided to… wait for it… stop being so picky.9. You need to date a nice guy.Yeah, I tried that but he turned out to be an asshole.10. You sound a little bitter.That’s because I am. And you telling me that doesn’t help, btw.11. Being married is not all it’s cracked up to be.Oh okay, I guess I’ll just give up then.12. You’re never going to meet someone sitting in your apartment.What do you think the FedEx guy is delivering twice a week?13. You need to learn to enjoy being by yourself.But I’m never going to meet someone sitting in my apartment!14. It’s a volume game — you just have to meet as many men as you can and one of them will work.If that were true, I would have been married at 22.15. It’s when you stop looking that it’ll finally happen.Does this work if you stop looking just so it’ll finally happen?16. You should keep a gratitude journal.STFU.17. Being single is way better than being in a crappy relationship.Oh! I’ll put that in my gratitude journal.

18. You’re still young — you have plenty of time.Every egg in a woman’s body has been there since birth. You were saying?19. You better hurry up — you’re running out of time.If you’re not my mom and you say this out loud, we’re never speaking again. If you’re my mom, you’re walking home.20. You’re just not open to love.That’s not what my one-night stand said last night.21. You’ve been too focused on work.So, are you going to support me when I get fired?22. You’re too independent.Last week, you told me men love a challenge.23. Maybe you should have a baby on your own.But I thought I needed sperm?

Finding a fantastic guy sometimes feels like trying to find a grain of rice in an olympic size swimming pool: almost impossible. But it’s not. There are some amazing men out there among the assholes and it’s just a question of exercisinggood judgment. To save you time and agony, below are some of the worst kinds of men and how to spot them before you get stuck.

(And please note: all men exhibit some of these traits; what makes a guy truly terrible is if he engages in these behaviors to a degree that it becomes an ongoing problem for the relationship.)

1. The offender: The guy who ignores you when you text or call.What to watch for: His communication habits. A guy should respond to your texts or calls within a reasonable time frame. If he’s taking an unusually long time to get back to you or ignoring some of your attempts to reach out altogether, cut bait. Nothing good comes from a guy who can’t even push some buttons on a phone for you. In fact, you shouldn’t be messing with someone who isn’t regularly initiating communication with you. Yes, there are guys who do that. You want one of them.2. The offender: The guy who cheats.What to watch for: His ethical vibe and his selfishness level. Guys who cheat are weak creatures with weak moral frameworks. They’re needs-driven, not principle-driven. What you want is a disciplined guy who plays fair and by the rules — a guy who gives you the sense that he would do the right thing even if it meant going

without. If the guy you’re with has a selfish streak or is coming off like he lacks character, move on. Cheaters are bullshit.3. The offender: The guy with terrible conflict management skills.What to watch for: His temperament. Be weary if he loses his temper easily or has a tendency to get defensive when you try to work through issues. A good guy will take an interest in your needs, listen to you when you have something to say, and communicate productively with you even when he doesn’t agree. That guy’s hot, not the one who bitches, shouts and throws shit around.4. The offender: The guy with no manners or sense of romance.What to watch for: Whether he cares about the little things. The big things are great but small gestures count for a lot and can make the difference between a relationship or a relationshit. If you’ve ever been with a guy who doesn’t have a romantic or chivalrous bone in his body, you know how nice it feels when a guy opensa door for you, plans a romantic date, or texts you to tell you he’s thinking of youfor no reason. Some of us ladies need/expect more of this kind of stuff than others but we all need a little bit.5. The offender: The guy who’s hot and cold.What to watch for: Consistency. Guys who are all over the place are seriously fucking annoying, not to  mention fucked up. They’re not actually wavering or confused, they’re just selfish and manipulative — they act like they want you when they’re feeling bored, lonely or horny, and they go MIA when they don’t need anything. Bottom line: Any guy who is not consistently making you a priority does not deserve your time, no matter how hot or charming he is.6. The offender: The lazy guy.What to watch for: How quickly he stops trying. Everyone gets a little lazy in relationships. That’s not a big deal. What is a big deal is how quickly the lazinesssets in and how dramatic the drop in effort is. If he stops doing the basics as soonas he has you, you might need to pull back until he gets his shit together and realizes that you have standards.7. The offender: The guy whose life is just a fucking mess.What to watch for: How he handles his career. Having a solid career is often a guy’sbiggest priority. So, if a guy’s career isn’t sorted out, he probably doesn’t feel great about himself and other parts of his life are likely a mess too. At the very least, a dude needs to have a J-O-B that pays the bills. If he doesn’t have that, itlikely won’t work and we don’t recommend you stick around to find out.8. The offender: The guy who cares more about his job than you.What to watch for: His interest in balance. Like we said, a guy needs a job from which he draws income and some sense of self-worth. But taking that too far — by being a workaholic who always chooses to put work first — is not cool (exceptions include: brain surgeons, astronauts currently on mission, and members of Seal Team 6). If a guy wants to be with someone, he has to find time for them. If he’s not willing or able to do that, he should just be by himself until he has more bandwidth. You deserve proper attention.9. The offender: The guy who drinks way too much.What to watch for: Restraint. Drinking is fun. Unless you don’t know how to stop before it gets un-fun. If he has no self-control when it comes to the booze — signs

include getting drunk (vs tipsy) when it’s just the two of you (your dates should bemore about connection than getting blasted), being overly interested in activities that involve tequila, not being able to go home before last call, and just generallyloving alcohol way too much — you should exit the scene. This sitch is going to get way ugly before it gets better, if ever.10. The offender: The guy who’s not ready to commit (aka, the guy who just wants to hang out).What to watch for: Momentum. Healthy relationships are always going somewhere: forward. When two people are really connecting, they move towards commitment, engagement, marriage or just towards building an ever more satisfying relationship and life together. As you get to know a guy, pay attention to whether that momentum is there. So many guys just want to hang out and kick it that you may not even know what forward propulsion looks like but, trust us, you’ll know it when you see it. And if you’re not feeling it, pull back. If he’s ever going to treat you well, you disengaging will give him that chance to step up. If he doesn’t, find someone who will.11. The offender: The guy who’s insecure.What to watch for: His need for attention/validation. We all know that men have egosthat require tending. But some men’s egos are a real problem. Like the guy who’s threatened by your success — he’ll compete with you instead of being happy for you and he’ll minimize your accomplishments to make you feel small. Or the guy who needsto show off — he’s the one who flirts with waitresses in front of you and can’t shutup about how hot his exes were or how many women want him. These guys aren’t men, they’re boys. Pass.12. The guy who’s cheap.What to watch for: His generosity level. Did he pay for the first couple of dates? Aguy doesn’t need to be rich or pay for everything all the time but he should absolutely pay for the first date and, ideally, for the first few dates. After all, us women usually spend more just to get to a date — blow out, mani/pedi, waxing, newdress — than most dinners for two cost. Good men understand this and reward the effort. Also: when a guy is into you, he wants to pay because he wants to impress you with his ability to provide for you. It’s a primal thing. Ergo: If the guy isn’tpaying, he’s not into you. But whatevs… Go find someone who is!

Ladies, Don’t Blame YourselvesFor Being Single – 5 Reasons It’s NOT Your Fault Halle Kaye  October 1, 2014

Being single isn’t something that anyone needs to be blaming anyone for — it’s not a disease or a character flaw; it’s actually a pretty awesome time in your life if you can manage to let go and just enjoy it. But if we’re going to talk about accountability, here are 5 reasons single women shouldn’t blame themselves for not yet having found love:

1. You’re not entirely in control. You — and what you want and the decisions you make — are one piece of the puzzle to you finding love. There are other pieces too, like the guys you come across and what they want and how they behave, or where you live and what dating culture is like today. It’s complicated. At some point though, all the pieces will fit together and suddenly it won’t feel complicated at all. Funny how that works. In the meantime, cut yourself some slack — you can’t blame yourself when you’re not totally in control —and let yourself enjoy the adventure of being single.2. Hookup culture doesn’t help. Finding a long term relationship is hard enough, let alone during a time when it’s all about the hookup. If you’re looking for something real, you have to work that much harder to find it. Of course, you can’t just stand there blaming the world for being tough — you have to rise to the challenge and make your life happen — but when every other guy wants something casual, it’s okay to acknowledge that there are factors which make it hard to find good guy. And it’s certainly not your fault if you’re still working around those challenges.3. Male commitment anxiety is a real thing. Let’s face it, hookup culture or not, men are hard to pin down. While our biological clocks make us want to settle down, their need for freedom makes them want to delay commitment. That clash is real and when you’re a single woman in your 20s and 30s, you experience it all the time. It sucks. But no worries — like we said above, at some point the pieces just come together… You’ll find a guy who’s ready, or who’s willing to get ready for you. It’ll happen.

Until then, don’t blame yourself — as long as you’re doing your part and exercising good judgment, it’s okay to blame the game a little because the game can get really exhausting when there’s a clock thumping inside your head.4. The more amazing you are, the harder it is. There are tons of guys that would be great for the average girl but if you’re special, the number of men you can truly connect with gets smaller because you need a really unique guy. Until you find him — and you will — there will probably be some tough times, like when you think it’ll never happen, that he doesn’t exist, that your ship has sailed, that it’s all your fault. None of that is true. He’s out there and nothing you’ve done is keeping him from you… It’s just not easy for two really unique people to find each other. But there’s a magnetic pull that will eventually bring you together. And when it happens, whoa… It will be awesome.5. Being single is necessary education; don’t hate. The experiences you’re having while you’re single — both the good and the bad — are preparing you for the relationship you’re looking for. Instead of blaming yourself for still being on your own, appreciate everything that’s happening, what you’re learning, and who you’re becoming. Don’t resent this time and blame yourself for it — in the end, you’ll see that it was the perfect amount of time for you to learn what you needed.- See more at: http://thebolde.com/ladies-dont-blame-single-5-reasons-fault/#sthash.5EdKDnDk.dpuf