Coping with Grief and Loss

Lou Ann Hamilton,MSW, LCSW, Counselor

Office of the Dean of Students

Schleman Hall

Purdue University

Introduction• Understanding Loss, Grief, and

Bereavement,

• Different Types of Loss

• What to Expect when Grieving

• Normal feelings and how long grief lasts

• coping skills and when/where to get help and how to help others

Different Types of Loss• Death of Parent, Grandparent, Sibling,

Partner, Child

• Death of Close Friend

• Death of Roommate, Classmate, Colleague

• Loss/Breakup of Relationship

• Loss of Friendship

• Serious Illness in Self or Other

What to Expect When you are Grieving

• Emotional symptoms– Shock, Anger, Denial, Bargaining, Acceptance,

Depression

• Physical Symptoms– sleeplessness; sadness; decreased appetite;

tearfulness; fatigue; upset stomach; anxiety; dreams/nightmares; lack of concentration

Are these feelings normal, and how long do they last?

• All of these symptoms are normal, although not every person will have every symptom.

• The bereavement period varies from person to person according to each situation and your unique relationship to that person.

• Grief may be brief, or last many years, but generally is at least one year.

Coping Skills to Help yourself and Others

• Counseling• Support Groups• Talking/Listening• Understanding Grief• Letting others Help• Taking care of Self Physically (rest well, eat and

limit alcohol use)• Acknowledge Pain, Allow Tears

When to Get Help

– you feel you can’t handle this alone– you are losing weight– your grades, work, and/or social life are

suffering– you have repeated thoughts of death or dying. – You feel the need to talk and you think your

friends are tired of listening

Where to Get Help

– Friends/Family– Counseling through The Office of the Dean of

Students 494-1254– Counseling and Psychological Services 494-

6995– Counseling and Guidance Center 494-9738– Spiritual Leader, Priest, Minister

Specific Ways to Help Others Cope with Loss

• Ask if they want to talk about their loss. (only if you are willing to listen)

• Just sit with them, you don’t have to say anything to comfort others

• Allow them to cry and be sad• Don’t minimize their feelings• Show you care by words AND actions• Help with practical needs