coffee break screenwriter 2nd edition

8/20/2019 Coffee Break Screenwriter 2nd edition

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Screni t er

e C O F F EE

B R EA K

2d Editi


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The Coffee BreakScreenwriter:

Writing Your ScriptTen Minutes at a Time

Pilar Alessandra

M I C H A E L W I E S E P R O D U C T I O N S


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Published by Michael Wiese Productions

12400 Ventura Blvd. #1111

Studio City, CA 91604

(818) 379-8799, (818) 986-3408 (FAX)[email protected]

www.mwp.com

Cover design by MWP

Cover photo by Zoltan Tischler, www.bookpictures.eu

Interior design by William Morosi

Printed by McNaughton & Gunn

Manufactured in the United States of America

Copyright © 2010, 2016 by Pilar Alessandra

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means

without permission in writing from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a

review.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Alessandra, Pilar

The coffee break screenwriter : writing your script ten minutes at a time / Pilar Alessandra.

p. cm.

ISBN 978-1-615932-42-9

1. Motion picture authorship. I. Title.

PN1996.A48 2010 808.2’3--dc22

2010018798

Printed on Recycled Stock


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vii

Contents

Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xi

ABOUT THE SECOND EDITION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xii

How to Use This Book . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xiv

CHAPTER 1: The Story . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

EMOTION TELLS THE STORY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2

CHARACTER FLAW TELLS THE STORY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

PREMISE TELLS THE STORY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7

SECONDARY CHARACTERS TELL THE STORY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

COMPLICATION TELLS THE STORY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11

SYNOPSIZING TELLS THE STORY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12

RESOLUTION TELLS THE STORY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14PLOT AND CHARACTER ELEMENTS TELL THE STORY . . . . . . . . . . . 16

YOU TELL THE STORY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17

CHAPTER 2: The Structure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21

FEATURE STRUCTURE MADE SIMPLE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

TV PILOT STRUCTURE MADE SIMPLE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23

ORGANIZING YOUR STORY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24THE STRUCTURE SHEET . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25


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CHAPTER 3: The Outline . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

THE SEQUENCE BEAT SHEET . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

THE BEAT-SHEET REWRITE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40

THE SCENE LIST . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49

SCENE BRAINSTORMING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55

FINDING SCENES THROUGH SETUP AND PAYOFF . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59

CHAPTER 4: The Characters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67

CHARACTER FLAW/SKILL BALANCE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67

CHARACTER SPECTRUM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68

CHARACTER BIOGRAPHY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69

CHARACTER MAKES AN ENTRANCE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71

CHARACTER RULES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72

CREATING GREAT ANTAGONISTS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82

CHAPTER 5: The First Draft . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84

SCENE INTENTION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84QUICKIE FORMAT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87

THE SPEED DRAFT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89

SCRIPT DEVELOPMENT: ADD NEW SCENES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91

SCRIPT DEVELOPMENT: BUILD ON EXISTING SCENES . . . . . . . . . 101

SCRIPT DEVELOPMENT: ADD YOUR VOICE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108

CHAPTER 6: The Dialogue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .114

VERBAL AGENDA . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114

VERBAL STRATEGY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115

DIALOGUE AS A GAME . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121

FINDING CHARACTER VOICE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127

CHAPTER 7: The Rewrite . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131

THE CONCEPT PASS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 132

THE WORLD PASS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135

THE STRUCTURE PASS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136

THE STORY PASS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139


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C O N T E N T S ix

THE SCENE PASS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143

THE CHARACTER PASS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 146

THE DIALOGUE PASS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 158

THE FORMAT PASS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 162

THE ELEMENT PASS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 168

THE HOLISTIC PASS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 169

CHAPTER 8: The Craft . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 174

CHOREOGRAPHY IN ACTION LINES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 174

FIGHT SCENES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175

EMOTIONAL ACTION LINES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 177

THE “TELL” OF THE SCENE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 179

THE BUTTON . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 181

SCENE TRANSITIONS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 184

NARRATIVE DEVICES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 186

CHARACTER AND SETTING DESCRIPTIONS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 191

ESSENCE PLUS ACTION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 193TONAL WRITING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 194

CHAPTER 9: The Final Edit . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 198

GENRE-INTENTION EDIT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 198

LINE-CUT EDIT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 201

STORY-INTENTION EDIT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 204

SCENE-TRIM EDIT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 206

THE GENERAL EDIT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 206

CHAPTER 10: The Presentation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 210

PROTECT YOUR MATERIAL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 210

PERFECT YOUR LOG LINE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 211

DEVELOP YOUR TV SERIES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 213

PITCH YOUR SCRIPT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 216

THE PERSONAL PITCH . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 227

MARKETING MATERIALS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 230


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CHAPTER 11: The Opportunity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 236

NETWORKING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 237

NEW MEDIA . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 242

VIDEO GAMES, GAME SHOWS, PROMOS, AND REALITY TV . . . . 244

WHAT IF THEY LIKE ME? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 245

THE LONG PITCH . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 246

Fade Out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 249

Writers’ Thoughts on Taking Ten . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 250

Acknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 268

Author Biography . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 270


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xi

Introduction

You’ve got ten minutes. No, really, that’s all you’ve got. After

all, you had to use your lunch hour to feed yourself. You

had to get to that meeting. You had to make that phone

call. You had to get the kids in the bath. There were things to do,

and no time to do them!

But now you’ve crammed your lunch in, sat through the meeting

you don’t know why you took in the first place, and cleaned upthe kids. You’ve managed to take a deep breath and sit down for

a second and focus … perhaps for ten whole minutes. Perhaps,

even on your screenplay.

Remember your screenplay? That wonderful, visual story that

you’ve been dying to finish … or just start. The one you keep nag-

ging yourself to write every time you leave a movie theater and

think, “I can do that!”You think you need days, weeks, years that you don’t have. You

think you need to study theory, create long outlines, and carefully

pick each word before it even hits the page. You think you’ll never

have the time to even consider an idea, let alone write it. And

you’ve only got ten minutes. Ten lousy minutes.

Good enough.

If only every screenwriter were as lucky as you. Ten minutes

gives you the “ticking clock” every writer secretly needs: a deadline.

As a screenwriting instructor, I’m an advocate of in-class writing

work that gets people writing in the moment. I give students ten


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xii T H E C O F F E E B R E A K S C R E E N W R I T E R | A L E S S A N D R A

minutes to write entire scenes, and they often create masterpieces.

I’ve also seen what can happen when I give writers the additional

five minutes they beg for: they overwrite. They think too much.

They fix what ain’t broke, and they write themselves into a corner.

Fortunately, you only have ten minutes. You have no choice but

to create work that’s spontaneous and fresh. You just need some

help to learn to use that time well.

ABOUT THE SECOND EDITION

A funny thing happened on the way to writing this second edi-tion of The Coffee Break Screenwriter . That funny thing is called

“The Second Golden Age of TV.” Between the first edition, written

in 2009, and this edition in 2016, television dramas and com-

edies such as Mad Men , Homeland , Breaking Bad , Orange Is the

New Black , Veep , Silicon Valley , Game of Thrones , House of Cards ,

and The Walking Dead dominated conversation and made “binge-

watching” a national pastime. The hunger for more content and

high-quality TV fed alternative platforms like Netflix and Amazon.

And with more platforms came the need for more writers.

Suddenly, writers saw TV as a place they could build a world,

stretch their character arcs, and potentially find a long-term career.

Managers and agents increasingly asked for original pilots as both

potential script sales and as writing samples.As a huge fan of TV myself (there’s a Breaking Bad Heisenberg

decal on the front of my laptop), I began teaching television writing

out of my writers’ studio in L.A. I used and added to the screenwrit-

ing tools I taught in my feature classes and was happy to discover

that most of the writing tools in the original Coffee Break translated

seamlessly. The only major change was letting go of a slavishness

to feature act breaks. In this edition, you’ll often see Act 1, Act 2A,Act 2B, and Act 3 replaced with what they really stand for anyway:

Beginning, Middle (part 1), Middle (part 2), and End. These four

parts apply to any scripted medium including webseries. I’ve also


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I N T R O D U C T I O N xiii

added writing tools that expand upon the world of the script. I’ve

additionally provided new exercises that bring dimension to char-

acter relationship. Toward the end of the book, I’ve updated pitch

templates and story examples. I even updated the pronouns to

reflect what is beginning to be a more even playing field of male

and female writers and main characters. Since the first edition, I’ve

met and heard from hundreds of writers — both beginning and

professional — who said The Coffee Break Screenwriter streamlined

their process, helped them finish their scripts, and made them

better writers. This edition intends to build on that success, makingthe writing tools accessible for all mediums: feature, TV, and web. I

hope you’ll enjoy this second edition as much as I enjoyed writing it.


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xiv

How to Use This Book

This book will help you use your stolen ten minutes of time

to make real progress on your screenplay or television

script. Each chapter focuses on a different phase of the writ-

ing process: THE STORY, THE STRUCTURE, THE OUTLINE, THE

CHARACTERS, THE FIRST DRAFT, THE DIALOGUE, THE REWRITE,

THE CRAFT, THE FINAL EDIT, THE PRESENTATION, and THE

OPPORTUNITY.This second edition has also allowed me to incorporate new

and additional television-writing tools. So, it doesn’t matter if you’re

writing a feature script or a television pilot, the chapters will help

you each step of the way.

Within these chapters there are subsections to help you work

through each phase. As you move through, you’ll also see “Take

Ten” writing tools and exercises. These have been created to helpyou move through the writing process quickly and efficiently, ten

minutes at a time. When a “Take Ten” exercise comes up, try it out.

Not every tool is going to work for every writer. But you should be

able to find at least one new thing that will help you to brainstorm,

outline, expand, or polish your script.

At the end of each “Take Ten” exercise, you’ll see a summary of

“What You’ve Accomplished.” This should remind you that you actu-

ally have moved forward in your story — despite the short amount

of time in which you’ve worked. “You’ve finished something,” they’ll


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H O W T O U S E T H I S B O O K xv

say. “So don’t go back and make it perfect. Turn the page and do

something else!”

And, from time to time, you’ll also come across a “Ten-Minute

Lecture.” These are meant to quickly distill and demystify current

screenplay theory or common screenwriting language.

If you’re just beginning a new project, I’d suggest following along

chronologically, using the book to build your story from concept to

finished script. Even if you’ve already written a screenplay or pilot,

you’ll find outlining tools and writing tips that will streamline your

process.If you’re a writer who only needs help with certain areas of your

script, feel free to jump from chapter to chapter. Even skipping

around, you should find a writing tool that will work for you.

It’s up to you. All I can tell you is that time is wasting, so start

writing! You’ve only got … well, you know!


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1

C H A P T E R 1

The Story

This chapter will help you to brainstorm your idea, shape it

into a story, and hone it into something script-worthy. We’re

going to build from character flaw, nail the hook of your

movie or TV pilot, make decisions about the middle, experiment

with the ending, and then see what happens when we put it all

together. Not every brainstorming tool will be the one that cracks

your story open. But at least one of them will. And when it does,keep working from there!

Getting Past Brain Freeze

So you’ve carved out that ten minutes, but now your brain is frozen.

What was it you were going to write again? It was about that guy

who did that thing in that place, right?

Well, believe it or not, that’s a start!

T E N - M I N U T E L E C T U R E :

T H E K E Y I N G R E D I E N T S O F E V E R Y M O V I E o r T V P I L O T

A movie or pilot is usually about a MAIN CHARACTER with aPROBLEM who engages in an ACTIVITY with STAKES hangingin the balance.

E N D O F L E C T U R E

While you have ten minutes, let’s put these elements in order

and see what you come up with.


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2 T H E C O F F E E B R E A K S C R E E N W R I T E R | A L E S S A N D R A

TAKE TEN:

THE OVERVIEW

MAIN CHARACTER

What kind of person is he or she?

PROBLEM

What difficult situation occurs?

ACTIVITY

What does he or she do about it?

STAKES

Ultimately, what does he or she have to lose?

WHAT YOU’VE ACCOMPLISHED

By listing some central elements, you’ve begun to figure out your story.Add a couple of other ideas into the mix and you’ll see it take a clearershape.

Emotion Tells the Story

Every screenwriting teacher has a theory about story.

Here’s mine: Action triggers emotion. Emotion triggers action.

Honestly, that’s it. In screenplays, you can’t have one without

the other. And it’s important, as you go through these tools and

build your screenplay, that you keep in mind how married these

two things are. After all, who cares about a major event in a movie

like a bomb going off or a car chase or a haunting or a weddingunless we get a chance to see how that bomb, chase, haunting, or

wedding affects a character?

And how can we invest in what a character is actually feeling if

we haven’t been privy to an event that drove her to that emotional

place?

Action shows us the story. Emotion pushes the story forward.

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T H E S T O R Y 3

TAKE TEN:

EMOTION + ACTION = STORY

Start your main character off on an active, emotional journey by asking the

following questions:

In the beginning of my story, this event occurs: _____________________ .

It makes my main character (MC) feel this way: _____________________ .

So he does this: _______________________________________________ .

But that makes someone else do this: _____________________________ .

That event makes MC feel: ______________________________________ .

So MC does this: ______________________________________________ .Keep asking these questions and see how much story you can invent inyour ten minutes.

Character Flaw Tells the Story

Don’t you wish you had someone who could just tell you what

your script is going to be about? Someone who could come upwith plot points and scenes and save you all of that planning work?

Fortunately, you do. You’ve got your main character (who we’ll call

the MC). With the right questions and exploration, that main char-

acter can often reveal his or her own movie story.

That’s why we’re going to start the writing process by taking a

hard look at the person you think may be your main character.

We’re going to figure out what that person is like before he orshe hits page one, what his or her flaws are, how those flaws can

launch a story, and how personal rules might pay off in interesting

plotting and scenes.

So, let’s start with your main character — “that guy who did that

thing.” If that guy is at all interesting, it’s because he is human, fal-

lible … flawed . Oh, your character doesn’t have a flaw? Well, mess

him up. Get his hands dirty. Perfect characters are boring. Flawed

characters are like us, and that’s what viewers respond to.

Flaws don’t have to be “fatal” — they can simply be human.

Anger, arrogance, and selfishness are flaws that often start a

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character off on an intriguing rocky road. But sweetness, humble-

ness, and charity carried out to the extreme can also be flaws.

What would It’s a Wonderful Life be like if the MC wasn’t rest-

less? What would the movie Whiplash have been like if the MC

wasn’t obsessed with his goal? What kind of a journey would

Sophie’s Choice have taken if the MC wasn’t in denial? What would

Sideways have been like if the MC wasn’t a drinker?

In Cast Away , William Broyles, Jr. wrote a story about a man

ruled by time. He even gave the man a flaw-related job: FedEx

supervisor. Then he simply stranded this man on an island, anisland where he had all the time in the world.

Instant movie.

Let’s see what trouble your flawed main character can get into

and out of. Answer the following questions and see what movie

develops.

TAKE TEN:

THE MAIN CHARACTER FLAW BRAINSTORM

First, determine the flaw of your character. Then, discover his story byasking the following questions:

1. Keeping your main character’s flaw in mind, what’s the WORSTSITUATION he could find himself in?

2. What is the FIRST ACTION your MC would take?

3. How might that action BACKFIRE?4. Who is the LEAST LIKELY PERSON who might help the MC or team up

with him?

5. What NEW ACTION might that person push the MC to take?

6. Who or what might GET IN THE WAY of this new activity?

7. How might the flaw of the MC turn into a SKILL?

8. What SURPRISING FINAL ACTION could be taken that is the least likely

thing your character would have originally done?


You may have just structured your entire movie or TV pilot!

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T H E S T O R Y 5

Character-Driven Structure

How did you structure your entire script by answering a few ques-

tions about your character’s flaw? Well …

Questions 1–3

In a movie, Act 1 usually ends when a character creates a problem

or makes an existing one worse. It’s not just that something terrible

happens to him or her. The way that flawed person takes action

as a result of that event is usually the more interesting act break.

He or she makes the wrong choice and, ultimately, the adventures

within the movie lead to a better one. In a TV pilot, a main char-

acter has the same tendency, though that bad choice might launch

an entire series (such as Breaking Bad ).

Question 4

In the first part of Act 2 for a movie, or Acts 2 through 4 for a TV

drama, the main character often works directly or indirectly with a

supporting character. This builds a relationship, creates a B-story,and gives the MC someone to interact with. Making that character

the “least likely” choice builds tension. Will these two characters be

able to achieve a goal while also managing their personal conflict?

Question 5

The supporting character in a movie, or the ensemble of charac-

ters in a TV show, are often the outside influence that causes themain character to take a new action or begin to change. Supporting

characters aren’t there just to support; they’re there to change the

game. They push; they come up with new ideas, they influence. By

the end of a movie, or by the end of a series, these new actions

may also force your character to confront his or her flaw and start

thinking differently.

Question 6

In the second part of Act 2 for a movie, or Acts 3 through 5 for

a TV drama, an opposing force often shakes things up by trying

to prevent the main character from achieving a goal. This is the


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antagonist … the bad guy. But sometimes it’s a force of nature, or

even the MC’s own flaw. Sometimes it’s a mixture of all three! The

key to this section is remembering to use the antagonistic force to

create a challenge for the MC. Keep us worrying and wondering!

Question 7

Now we’re in Act 3 of your movie or Act 5 of your TV drama. So,

how will your character ever get out of this situation? Well, your

character always had a distinguishing characteristic: his flaw. Perhaps

that could actually be of use and translate into a skill. Selfish =

survivor. Loose cannon = risk taker. Obsessive = knowledgeable.The goal in a movie is not to abandon what makes your MC inter-

esting, but to use those traits to help. Looking for a key to character

development? There it is. In TV, the skill/flaw marriage is played out

week after week. The character of Don Draper from Mad Men is a

hard-drinking womanizer who also happens to be a great ad-man.

Rarely do we imagine that he could be one without the other.

Question 8

By script’s end, your MC has learned from his or her journey not

to make the same mistakes as the first time. In short, to do the

least likely thing he or she would originally have done. In a movie,

we see the MC make the correct choice instead of the wrong one

made at the Act 1 break . With this new approach, he or she finally

solves his or her problem. In TV, a procedural uses this same tacticto solve problems all the time. By making a new choice, a char-

acter loses his or her blind spot with a suspect, and the real killer

is revealed. In a half-hour comedy, a character usually has to “fix”

a mess he or she has made as well, and making the right choice

is one way to do it. But don’t be quick to completely “solve” the

problem if this is an episodic or serialized drama. You might need

an entire series to get there!


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T H E S T O R Y 7

Premise Tells the Story

So, now that you know who your character is and what trouble he

or she gets into … exactly what is your movie about?Most writers try to reach for the stars when asked this question.

“It’s about man’s inhumanity to man,” they answer.

“It’s about the universal search for love.”

“It’s about the need to put others first.”

No, really, what is it about ? What’s the big idea? In short …

what’s the log line ?

What’s that perfect, one-line synopsis that will make studios

throw money at the movie and have audiences lining up at the

theaters?

Drawing a blank? Here’s a trick, and it’s actually going to take

less than ten minutes. Just ask yourself one question: What’s the

“what if” question of my movie?

“What if” an ordinary man fell in love with a computer operating

system?

“What if” an out-of-work actor gets the gig of his life … as a

female soap star?

“What if” a high school girl is forced to choose between her love

for a vampire and her friendship with a werewolf?

“What if” a man ages backward, growing younger as the love of

his life grows older?Of course Her, Tootsie , Twilight, and The Curious Case of

Benjamin Button are high-concept movies, meaning that they can

often stand on concept alone to bring in the big bucks. But the

“what if” can be found in smaller character-driven and “slice-of-life”

movies as well. If it’s really a movie, there’s a big idea in there

somewhere. In fact, you probably began this project because you

imagined something that no one else has imagined.

“What if” a respected mathematician’s top-secret government

project is really a schizophrenic delusion?

“What if” the midlife crisis of a suburban father leads to murder?


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With A Beautiful Mind and American Beauty, we think high drama

rather than high concept. Yet, in each case, the writer has found

the big idea within the story and exploited it.

A Beautiful Mind, for example, could have just been about a

noble mathematician who struggles against a mental illness. But

would it have gripped audiences? By focusing on the imagined

top-secret project, the writer creates both a suspense movie and a

character play.

American Beauty was also wise to frame its story as a thriller. A

midlife crisis movie on its own, but pitch it as only that and you’regoing to have a producer falling asleep in his sushi. Add the twist

that this crisis actually leads to the character’s untimely death, and

you’ll start a bidding war.

In The King’s Speech it was the high stakes that helped turn

up the dial on its premise: “What if” a future king must overcome

his stutter in order to give a rousing speech that will convince his

country to fight Nazi oppression?So, let’s find your “big idea,” the special premise that makes this

story worthy of being on screen. It’s there!

Come up with your own “what if?” question for your movie or

TV series. Remember to focus on the hook. What makes your story

unique? Is it the clash of two opposite characters? Is it the uncon-

ventional approach the character uses toward solving a problem?

Or is it the problem itself — a situation never before seen on the

big screen?

Thinking.

Thinking.

You may be dwelling on Act 1 when you try to find your hook.

But you should also feel free to explore other areas of your script.

“I see dead people,” for example, wasn’t revealed until the mid-point of The Sixth Sense . And that was the hook, without question.

Got it? Good. Here goes:


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T H E S T O R Y 9

TAKE TEN:

FIND YOUR LOG LINE

What if _______________________________________________________ ?

See the big idea in that one sentence? Didn’t think you could boil it downlike that, did you?

Now, scratch off the “what if?” so you turn your statement into a workablelog line .

What if _______________________________________________________ .


The log line is the cornerstone of your script. By defining the big idea —the hook — you’ve given yourself something to build on. From here, youcan take your idea and run with it.

Secondary Characters Tell the

Story

It’s been said that every character in a movie thinks the movie isabout them. The first time I heard that, I thought, “Of course! Why

should characters in movies or TV shows be any less self-centered

than we are?”

A villain doesn’t know he’s the villain — he thinks he’s the hero.

He believes some good-looking guy with more screen time is

simply getting in his way. A romantic interest doesn’t know she’s

just “the girl” — she thinks she’s running the show.Modern-day kids’ movies are often based on this idea. Turn the

typical bad guy in a children’s story into a hero by looking at the

story from his point of view, and you’ve got an instant hit. Shrek

follows the Ogre’s point of view in a princess story; Monsters, Inc .

looks at the story of monsters who scare children. And Despicable

Me is literally about the trials and tribulations of the world’s great-

est villain.

Pixar, in particular, has a great way of building entire worlds from

even the most seemingly minor character’s point of view. It thinks:

“What if” the toys in children’s rooms came alive? (Toy Story)

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“ What if” insects had a society of their own where humans and

birds were obstacles? (A Bug’s Life ) “ What if” the inner feelings of

a young girl had feelings of their own? (Inside Out )

Turning a story around from a secondary character’s point of

view makes for great grown-up films as well. Bridesmaids is told

from the point of view of a maid of honor. The Queen looks at

the story of Princess Diana’s death from the point of view of her

mother-in-law. The Departed is so rich because it focuses equally

on the lives of two men on opposite sides of an undercover mob

sting. And Game of Thrones works so well because it richly weavesin the stories of every character in its world, no matter how seem-

ingly minor. (Did you catch the turn with Littlefinger in Season 4?

Oh my lord!)

By discovering the individual stories of your supporting and

opposing characters, you’ll discover their character arcs and find

new depth in your script. You may even find a better script idea.

You’re still in the brainstorming stage, so it’s worth taking ten min-utes to try it.

TAKE TEN:

YOUR SECONDARY CHARACTERS’ LOG LINEs

What if _____________________________________________________ ?Love interest log line

What if _____________________________________________________ ?Mentor log line

What if _____________________________________________________ ?Best friend/family member log line

What if _____________________________________________________ ?Antagonist log line


By seeing the script through the eyes of the other characters, you’ve seenthem as richer individuals with their own stories. If, indeed, you’ve foundout that the more exciting story to tell is that of another character, don’tworry. It’s early enough in your writing process to make a new choice.

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face of the serial killer. In (500) Days of Summer , main character

Tom Hansen’s romantic nature and obsession with falling in love

cause him to continually push to make a failing love affair work.

It’s time to brainstorm your own story complication. By doing

so, you’ll find your midpoint event and spin it in such a way that

it heightens your script, giving it that extra “oomph” it needs to

reinvest the reader and the audience.

TAKE TEN:

DISCOVER COMPLICATION

Find the big complication of your movie story or TV pilot:

Problems occur when __________________________________________ .

Now heighten it.Don’t be afraid to go to extremes.What’s the worst thing that could happen?What’s the most emotional thing that could happen?What’s the most genre-worthy thing that could happen?

Problems occur when __________________________________________ .List two more complications. Don’t forget to think about your supportingcharacters and what they’re going through.

Problems occur when _______________, ____________, and ____________.


You’ve thrown a wrench into your character’s story and forced him or her

to deal with new problems that heighten the second act. By dealing withclever complications, characters earn their happy endings. If the journey iseasy, it isn’t a movie or TV show.

Synopsizing Tells the Story

Thanks to your brainstorming character, you have a sense of your

story. Creating a log line has helped you find the hook, and creat-ing complication has expanded that idea into a movie or TV pilot.

But we’ve done this all in pieces. Now, we want to see how the

story feels when we describe it briefly with a simple beginning,

middle, and end.

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T H E S T O R Y 13

Use the Brief Synopsis template to get you there. Notice that the

“ Solution” section presents different options. Feel free to use one

or more of these.

TAKE TEN:

BRIEF SYNOPSIS

PREMISE WITH HOOK: (What if) ______________________________ ?

COMPLICATION: Problems occur when ________________________ .

SOLUTION: This leads to the discovery that ________________ .

OR

Fortunately, _________________________________ .

OR

Tragically, __________________________________ .

Use descriptive, active language to help you see your movie. Charactersdon’t just feel; they do! Use verbs!

Example: The Wizard of Oz (What if) A restless girl is hurled by a tornado into a magical world anddiscovers that the only way she can get home is to seek help from apowerful wizard. Problems occur when an evil witch sabotages her andher new friends: a brainless scarecrow, a cowardly lion, and a tin manwithout a heart. Fortunately, the group melts the witch, proving that theyhave the brains, courage, and heart to solve their own problems.

Example: Breaking Bad (pilot)(What if) A chemistry teacher with lung cancer enlists one of his students to

help him cook and sell meth with him so that he doesn’t have to saddle hisfamily with medical bills. Problems occur when he antagonizes drug dealers

who connect him with his DEA agent brother-in-law. Fortunately, the teacher

is able to mix chemicals that immediately gas the drug dealers and kill them.

This leads to the teacher’s discovery that power and financial gain might be

within his grasp.


A beginning, middle, and end are nothing to sneeze at. In movie terms,

those are your first, second, and third acts. For TV, you’ve covered themajor beats to write your pilot episode.

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Resolution Tells the Story

It’s difficult to begin your story until you know your ending. This is

particularly important when it comes to creating the pilot episodeof a TV series. The ending of your pilot launches the entire series.

So knowing what needs to be established by that point is pertinent.

By the end of …

THE WALKING DEAD: We know that zombies are everywhere.

Deputy Grimes is on a quest to find his family. Grimes’s wife is

now sleeping with his best friend.

BREAKING BAD: We know that Walt has committed to cooking

meth with Jesse. He’s already pissed off local drug dealers. He

enjoys the power.

30 ROCK: We know that Tracy is now a fixture at the show and will

certainly cause problems. Liz Lemon’s new boss has usurped her

power and will probably continue to do so.

THE BIG BANG THEORY: It’s established that Sheldon, Leonard,

Howard, and Raj bond in nerdy ways. We also discover that Leonard

has a huge crush on Penny and will continue to pursue her.

TAKE TEN:

ESTABLISH YOUR LANDING POINTS

1. By the end of my script, this event needs to happen:

_______________________________________________________________

2. By the end of my script, this relationship needs to be established:

_______________________________________________________________

3. By the end of my script, this secret needs to be revealed:

_______________________________________________________________

4. By the end of my PILOT script, this series goal needs to be established:

_______________________________________________________________


You now know your endgame so that you can start outlining toward thatend.

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T H E S T O R Y 15

While it’s great to know what’s going to happen at the end of your

script — your sweethearts get married, your cop gets the robber,

your good guy defeats the bad guy — how all that happens can be

a challenge.

Remember that audiences invest their interest and their money

in a movie or TV series in order to discover how a character will

solve a big problem. Wimp out with that solution and they’ll shut

off the TV or demand their money back.

Many writers do know what the big discovery will be for their

character; they just don’t know how to get there. Often, the answercan be found in the small, clever details — what I call the trigger

moments — that lead to the big revelation.

In Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, the entire story is

turned around by one honest moment in which Charlie returns the

top-secret new candy he’s been asked to steal. His act of honesty

triggers the third-act reward.

In Casino Royale , James Bond is asked about funds he was sup-posed to transfer, triggering his realization that the love of his life has

betrayed him.

In Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, main character Joel

Barish is given the cassette tape that talks about his former girl-

friend, triggering him to reclaim his memories.

In Homeland , the nervous tapping of fingers causes the lead

character to believe that a war hero is actually sending coded

messages to a terrorist enemy. Again, it’s a small moment — and

ultimately a false lead — but it’s a “trigger” for the main character’s

revelation.

Discover your script’s major trigger by working backward from

the big revelation.


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TAKE TEN:

WORK BACKWARD TO FIND YOUR ENDING

1. Start with the final reveal : What does the character discover that is most

painful, shocking, surprising, or delightful?

2. Where did that person discover it?

3. What physical clue led him or her to that place?

4. What was said that triggered the character to search for that clue?

5. What event occurred that caused that character to speak the line?

6. What problem occurred that created that event?

7. How did the main character’s own actions create that problem?8. What goal did the main character have that caused him or her to

behave badly enough to create this problem?

9. What circumstances in the main character’s world inspired that goal?


By asking these questions, you should have at least one new way ofmoving toward your big revelation.

A sequence of clever details that push a character toward a truth is amuch more interesting journey than one in which he or she simply tripson the answer, or worse, is just told!

Plot and Character Elements Tell

the Story

Use ten more minutes to review your elements by putting themon one page. Use this page as a constant reference tool to remind

you of your original intentions for your project.

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T H E S T O R Y 17

TAKE TEN:

INTENTION SHEET

Use this sheet to sum up your “take ten” exercises so far.

Main Character Flaw

Log Line

Secondary Character Log Line

Major Complication

Revelation Trigger

Fortunately/Unfortunately Ending


You’ve created a guide that will keep you on track as you outline, write,and expand your script.

You Tell the Story

All of the work you’ve done — finding your character-driven story,

discovering your structure, using a “what if?” question to find yourhook, building on the hook to find the complication, and working

backward to find your ending — should have helped you to create

a real movie story or TV pilot in your mind.

Additionally, as a veteran moviegoer and TV watcher, you already

have a story sense that helps you as a writer. And as a person who

tries hard not to be boring, you’ve become a master storyteller. You

relate funny events to your friends and coworkers, reminisce withyour loved ones, and tell bedtime stories to your kids.

In fact, the next template uses the language and simple beats of a

bedtime story to help you tell your movie story. You don’t need fancy

film terms to create an outline, just a rich beginning, middle, and end.

This template is somewhat long since it works through your

entire movie or TV pilot. To deal with it in ten-minute increments

of time, it’s been divided into four sections to equal a beginning,

middle (part 1), middle (part 2), and end.

If you get stuck on a blank, just move on to the next section. Or,

it may mean that there’s an obstacle or activity that’s missing from

your movie. Make something up and see what happens!

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TAKE TEN:

DESCRIBE YOUR MOVIE LIKE A BEDTIME STORY

Ten Minutes:

BEGINNING

Once upon a time, there was a _________________________________

main character (MC)

who was ___________________________________________________ .

character flaw

When ________________ happened, he or she ___________________ .

obstacle flaw-driven strategy Unfortunately, _______________________________________________ .

screw-up

So the MC decided ___________________________________________

goal

and had to _________________________________________________ .

action that begins a new journey


You’ve set up the character by describing him or her as a flawed(translation: human) person. You’ve also triggered a big movie- or series- worthy problem by having your own main character make an unwisechoice. This helps move that character forward in the story.

Ten Minutes: MIDDLE (part 1)

In order to take this action, he or she decided to _________________ .

strategy

Unfortunately ___________________________ happened, which caused

obstacle

___________________________________________________________ !

complication

Now he or she had to ____________________ or risk _____________ !

new task personal stake

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T H E S T O R Y 19


You’ve set goals for the MC with potential to lead to a variety of interestingadventures. Then, by the midpoint, you’ve created a major complication

that forces the audience to reinvest in the character and her story.

Ten Minutes: MIDDLE (part 2)

Where the MC once wanted to ________________________________ ,

old desire

he or she now wanted _______________________________________ .

new desire But how could that happen when ______________________________ ?

obstacle

Filled with __________________________, the MC ________________ .

emotion new action

But this only resulted in ______________________________________ .

low point


You’ve used your antagonist to mess things up for your main characterand fooled the audience into thinking that there’s no way out. This willmake Act 3 — when your main character solves the problem — feel likeeven more of a victory.

Ten Minutes: ENDING

Fortunately, this helped the MC to realize ________________________ !

the solution

All he or she had to do was ___________________________________ !

action using new lesson

Using __________________, _________________, and ____________ ,

other characters skills tools from journey

the MC was able to __________________________________________ .

victorious action


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Unfortunately, _______________________________________________ .

final hurdle

But this time, he or she ______________________________________ !

clever strategy

This resulted in ______________________________________________ .

change in situation


You’ve drawn from your MC’s journey, using the characters, skills, andresources obtained along the way, to help solve the problem. Just to make

sure it doesn’t end too neatly, you’ve added a final hurdle, a staple ofmodern structure, to give the screenplay one last hitch.

To get here, you made up a story on the spot — filling in the blanks asyou went. If any of the beats don’t work for you, just replace a word.Doing so may change the whole story!

TEN-MINUTE CHAPTER REVIEW:

STORY

1. Brainstorm the central ELEMENTS and EMOTION of the story.

2. Find a CHARACTER-DRIVEN STRUCTURE through the character’s

FLAW.

3. Commit to concept by creating a “WHAT IF” LOG LINE.

4. Discover the second act by creating a COMPLICATION.5. Decide on a beginning, middle, and end by writing a BRIEF

SYNOPSIS.

6. BRAINSTORM BACKWARD to discover the ending you’re working

toward and work back from the reveal to “trigger” the solution.

7. Get a sense of the flow by describing your movie like a BEDTIME

STORY.

coffee break screenwriter 2nd edition

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