chapter2speech1212014

Communication and Personal Identity

The Development of Self

Defintion: •The self is a complicated, multidimensional process.•The self arises in communication with others. •Who we are and aren’t determined by interactions with others from the beginning to end of our life's.

1)We develop images both positive and negative, based communicated messages.

2)Particular “others” – People are significant to us. Most influential in helping us develop our self.

The Development of the Self Concept

Definition: Particular people who are significant to us provide.

1) Direct definition

2) Reflected appraisal

3) Identity scripts

4) Attachment styles


• Family members are generally the first influence on the development of the self.

Most Influential is:

- Perspective of particular others (family members, relatives, religious leaders, teachers)

- Perspective of the generalized other (cultural aspects)


1) Direct Definitions: Communication that tells us explicitly who we are by: •Labeling us and our behaviors. (Who we are and how we should be.)

•Positive messages enhance the self.

•Negative messages demolish sense of self.

•What others value in us influences behavior over the long term.

Diversity: •Racial and ethnic identity important for child’s understanding to have pride in their traditions.


2) Reflected appraisal – Our perception of another’s view of us. They provide a mirror for us – We will often act how people act toward us.

If others communicate we are smart, we are likely to reflect appraisal in how we act and think of ourselves.

Peers, if we are close to to them, will affect how we see ourselves.(Pg. 43 in text)

Summary of reflected and direct definitions:Expressed view of us can elevate or lower our self concept. Interactions with family and friends can help us be our best.


1.Uppers communicate positively about us and reflect positive appraisals of our value as individuals. (accept us for who we are.)

2.Downers communicate negative evaluation of us and our self worth. Focus on our flaws, problems, and put down our dreams and goals.

3. Vultures are extreme downers. (Beyond negative evaluations and attacks on self worth) They attack and tear us down – prey on our weaknesses (like a true vulture) – Not our friend!

Q: Who are these people and how they make you feel.

We have a choices - settings and people who will

help us achieve our goals.

Debbie Downer’sTheme Song Lyrics

•"You're enjoying your day, everything's going your way, when along comes Debbie Downer.

•Always there to tell you 'bout a new disease, a car accident, or killer bees. You beg her to spare you, 'Debbie, please!' but you can't stop Debbie Downer!"


3) Identity Scripts - Rules for living and identity.Scripts define our roles, how are to play & relate to others. Psychologists believe that basic identity scripts for our lives are formed by age five.Parents/caretakers have the power.Child unconsciously internalize the scripts others write.

Examples:Our family supports itselfWe live by God’s wordWe are responsible peopleWe don’t relate to others who are different

Q: What scripts do you remember?


As adults we can challenge and “Flip the Script”


4) Attachment Styles – Patterns of caregiving that teach us who are and others are, and how to approach relationships.

• Caregivers communicate how they see us, others, and relationships.

• The first bond shapes the child's expectations for later relationships.

• How secure we feel in other’s acceptance and commitment

to us. • Research conducted in the U.S.


1) Secure attachment style Care taker is consist in providing

attention/love. Child develops a positive sense

of self ( I am loveable.) Child develops a positive sense of others

(People are loving and can be trusted.) Child can engage in intimacy with others

without depending on the relationship for self worth.

Most successful relationship are couples with a secure attachment style.



2) Fearful attachment style First bond Caregiver is unavailable/negative, rejecting, and abusive.

Child sees self as unworthy of love.

Child sees others as rejecting.

As adults, tend to be apprehensive

to be close to others.

Adults may avoid others or feel insecure in relationships.

May have less hope, disclose less and have less satisfaction in relationships.


Lyrics to Unlovable - The Smiths

I wear Black on the outside'Cause Black is how I feel on the inside

I wear Black on the outside'Cause Black is how I feel on the inside

And if I seem a little strangeWell, that's because I amIf I seem a little strange

That's because I am


3) The submissive style •Caregivers who are disinterested and/or rejecting. •Child develops self as loveable.•Child will often reject others as

unworthy.•Will often develop a defensive view of relationships and regard them as unnecessary of undesirable.


4) The Anxious/ambivalent Preoccupied – Common when caretaker/parent is an addict, depressed, or has some other mental challenge.•Most complex – as not consistent as those above – (Loving one day, angry or ignoring the next time.) Causes anxiousness. Person believes they are unlovable, or deserves to be rejected.•As adults, will reflect this approach – Invite affection – reject closeness

How can we

• Modify our attachment style

by challenging disconfirming

self-perceptions.

• Say “no” to bullying from “others”.• Get help (Talk to someone older, utilize campus

counseling.)• Form or focus on relationships with others who are

uppers, healthy, and supportive.• Romantic partners can affect our attachment style.

How are social perspectives of Generalized Others Revealed To Us?

1) We learn them as we interact with others, who have internalized cultural values and pass them on to us.

2) We learn them through media and institutions that reflect cultural values.

3) The institutions that organize our society communicate them by the values they uphold.

Race In Western society many form their personal identity based on race. Historically favored and privileged is the Caucasian or White (Europeans invented the term to increase solidarity among settlers who were from different ethnic backgrounds.) It also was to differentiate themselves from darker skinned people such as the American Indians. One drop rule – Established by plantation owners – A person with one drop of African blood was classified as black.

- The one-drop rule was a tactic in the U.S. South that codified and strengthened segregation and the disfranchisement of most blacks and many poor whites from 1890-1910.

- White-dominated legislatures felt free to enact Jim Crow laws segregating Blacks in public places and accommodations, and passed other restrictive legislation.

Q: What do you believe about race classification.

Social view of “others”


As a nation the author feels we less consumed with Race, but institutionalized racism exists and affects people of all colors.

Institutional racism is any form of racism occurring specifically within institutions such as public government bodies, private business corporations, and universities (public and private). Institutional racism is one of three forms of racism: (i) Personally-mediated, (ii) internalized, and (iii) institutional.

Some thoughts from Martin Luther King and Cesar Chavez (Celebration - March 31)

Martin Luther King

…I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character…

~ I Have a Dream - August 28, 1963. Washington, D.C.

Cesar E. Chavez • "Preservation of one's own culture does not require contempt or

disrespect for other cultures."• "We need to help students and parents cherish and preserve the

ethnic and cultural diversity that nourishes and strengthens this community - and this nation."

Sources: mlkonline.net;http://www.ufw.org

How do you identify yourself?

Me – Heinz 57 – Because of all the different ethnic backgrounds my family encompasses.

Cablinasian – A term made up by Tiger Woods – It is a portmanteau (combination of two more words)

Caucasian, Black, American-Indian, and Asian, which is his ethnic make-up of a quarter Chinese, a quarter Thai, a quarter Black, an eighth Native American and an eighth Dutch.


GenderSome others have strong views of how males/females are supposed

to act. Children usually identify themselves by their sex. We learn to “act” in ways that are passed from our others, society, and media.

It starts with the color of blanket.

Examples of Stereotypes - Gender

Women:• Submissive• Emotional • Quiet• Neat/Clean• Artsy• A Housewife• Child rearing• Good communicators• Caring• Supportive• Cooperative

Q: When women assert themselves or are competitive what happens?

Examples of Stereotypes - Gender

Men:• Aggressive• No emotions• Loud• Messy• Athletic• Math and Science Oriented• CEO• Bad communicators

Q: What happens if men go against their culture/family view of their gender?

A Stereotype of Me

You thought you had me figured out Before you knew my name Cause you're you and you're not satisfied That I am not the same

You'll never change the way I loveAnd you can fight for you're dominion But I'm worth a million times the weight Of a dogmatist's opinion

And I know that all that you can see Is a stereotype of me All that you thought I'd ever be Is a stereotype of me

Did you ever think that you could see me Past the prejudice you hold Past the picture you created And all the things that you were told

You're voice is long since dead to me I won't even be provoked When it hurt you to see me smile The things you said went up in smoke

And I know that all that you can see Is a stereotype of me All that you thought I'd ever be Is a stereotype of me

• Socioeconomic Class is the study of the relationship between economic activity and social life.

What need you focus on are affected by your socioeconomic class.

• How much money you make, what neighborhood you are from, what schools you go to, what restaurants you can affords, what type of job you have, etc.

Q: The author says the U.S. is less rigid about class, do you agree?


Sexual Orientation – Another aspect of identity. •Historically, and today, heterosexuality is viewed by many •as normal. •Lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transsexuals, transgender

and intersex people – deal with discrimination. •Religions, organizations, and states are all •working toward providing the same rights and benefits as heterosexuals have.

Headline NewsCalifornia passes Proposition 8

"Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry" Initiative (2008) (83 millions dollars spend on campaign – LA Times)

Judge strikes down gay marriage ban in Texas – 2 DAYS AGO

Arizona Veto's Arizona Legislature controversial bill that would allow business owners to deny service to gay and lesbian customers. - A week ago.


• Suicide and self-harming are higher for gay/bisexual men. 40.1% reported being physically harassed

• 4.6% of LGBT students reported being verbally harassed,• 18.8% reported being physically assaulted at school in the

past year because of their sexual orientation. • 72.4% heard homophobic remarks, such as “gay” "faggot"

or "dyke," frequently or often at school. • Nearly two-thirds (61.1%) of students reported that they felt

unsafe in school because of their sexual orientation

The above statistics are from the 2009 National School Climate Survey.


I AM - Other Perspectives of Self

• The self is multidimensional - Your image, your cognitive self,

The term cognition (Latin: cognoscere, "to know" or "to recognize") refers to a faculty for the processing of information, applying knowledge, and changing preferences. Cognition, or cognitive processes, can be natural or artificial, conscious or unconscious.)

• Also, included is your intelligence and aptitudes(An aptitude is an innate, acquired or learned or developed component of a competency (the others being knowledge, understanding and attitude);

• Also, your emotional self concept (sensitive, cynical or upbeat), and your social self (how you act with others) and moral self (ethical and spiritual beliefs); and social roles (Professor, daughter, son, worker, parent, etc.)

• The self is a process – develops and changes over time (books describes process from child to teenage; similar to Erik Erikson)

I AM - Social Perspectives

Social perspectives are subject to change Socially constructed views – Are constructed in particular cultures at

different times – We internalize them, especially if isolated or live in a country that has closed borders, and claim them to be our own.

Some rules include traffic and criminal law, which are positive Others, foster discrimination and suppression of other races, genders,

socioeconomic groups, and more

Examples: Slavery, protecting hunting grounds for the wealthy, discrimination between different types of families (Single or Gay, or other), no voting rights for African –Americans or women, Chinese occupied Tibet, women should work (during WWII; afterwards encouraged to stay home), Proposition 8 (or the California Marriage Protection Act)passed in the November 2008, state elections. The measure added a new provision, Section 7.5 of the Declaration of Rights, to the California Constitution. The new section reads:“ Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.[1][2][3] ”and others.

• What are others?

I AM - Social Perspectives

• Variable social views – The construed and arbitrary nature of social values, is more evident when we consider how widely values differ from culture to culture, or state to state in the US.

• Gay marriage, abortion rights, the death penalty, husbands staying at home and taking care of children, women working, men more emotional, dance and a free to express themselves.

• Others?

You Matter – Create a self improvement plan

1) Make a firm commitment to personal growth

2) Gain and use knowledge to support personal growth Learn to understand how your self-concept was formed. How does your race, gender, socioeconomic class, sexual

orientation affect your approach to relating to others? Share more with others.

3) Set goals that are realistic and fair for you. No self-sabotage.

4) Seek contexts that support personal change

Self-Disclosure – Share more

• Revealing information about ourselves that others are unlikely to discover on their own

I am Poem

chapter2speech1212014

Education