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CONTENTS

Publisher’sPreface

PARTI:THEIMPACTOFATTITUDE

1.HowDoesAttitudeImpactLeadership?

2.HowDoesAttitudeImpactanIndividual?

PARTII:THEFORMATIONOFATTITUDE

3.WhatShapesaPerson’sAttitude?

4.CananAttitudeBeChanged?

5.CanObstaclesActuallyEnhanceanAttitude?

PARTIII:THEFUTUREWITHTHERIGHTATTITUDE

6.WhatIsFailure?

7.WhatIsSuccess?

8.HowCanaLeaderKeepClimbing?

Notes

AbouttheAuthor

PUBLISHER’SPREFACE

Who caresabout a person’s attitude?As longas someone cando thejob, you shouldn’t worry too much about it, right? If John Maxwellbelievedthat,youwouldn’thaveAttitude101inyourhandsrightnow.

As America’s leadership expert, Dr. Maxwell has devoted his life tohelpingpeoplebecomemoresuccessful.HisbooksandseminarsteachthatanyonecanbeaREALsuccess if theymasterskills in fourareas:Relationships, Equipping, Attitude, and Leadership. This book isdesignedtogiveyoutheessentialsofattitude—inaquick,easy-to-readformat.

People’s livesaresohectic.Their time isvaluable,andyet, theyarealsoon informationoverload.Morenew informationhasbeenproducedin the last thirty years than in the previous five thousand. A weekdayeditionof theNewYorkTimes containsmore information thanaveragepeople in seventeenth-century England were likely to come across intheir lifetime. The amount of information available in the world hasdoubledinthelastfiveyears,anditwillkeepdoubling.

So this book, a companion to Leadership 101, Relationships 101(availableJanuary2004),andEquipping101(availableJanuary2004),istheshortcourseonattitude.Dr.Maxwellrecognizesthatasanindividual,yourattitudehasaprofoundimpactonyourlife.Asaleader,youcannotignoretheattitudesofthepeopleyouleadandexpecttoachievesuccess—whetheryou’releadingabusiness,afamily,asportsteam,oragroupofvolunteers.Aperson’sattitudeimpactstheirrelationships,colorstheirviewoffailure,anddefinestheirapproachtosuccess.Attitudecanmakeorbreakyou.

Wearedelighted topublishAttitude101becausewerealize that fewthingsinlifeareagreaterassetthananattitudeofpositivedetermination.Attitude101 isdesigned toempoweryouandyour teamtosucceedbyhelping you become equipped with the right kind of attitude. Here’s to

yoursuccess—andtoyourreachingthenextlevel!

PART1

THEIMPACTOFATTITUDE

I

HOWDOESATTITUDEIMPACTLEADERSHIP?

Attitudeisalwaysa“player”onyourteam.

Growing up, I loved basketball. It all started forme in the fourth gradewhen I saw a high school basketball game for the first time. I wascaptivated.Afterthat,Icouldusuallybefoundpracticingmyshootingandplayingpickupgamesonmysmallcourtathome.

BythetimeIgottohighschool,Ihadbecomeaprettygoodplayer.Istarted on the junior varsity team as a freshman, and when I was asophomore,ourJVteamhada15-3record,whichwasbetterthanthatofthevarsity.Wewereproudofourperformance—maybealittletooproud.

The next year, critics who followed high school basketball in Ohiothought our team had a chance to win the state championship in ourdivision.Iguesstheylookedattheplayerswhowouldreturnasseniorsfrom the previous year’s varsity team, saw the talent that would bemovingupfromtheJV,andfiguredwewouldbeapowerhouse.Andwedidhavea lotof talent.Howmanyhighschool teams in the late1960scouldsaythatallbutacoupleofplayersontheteamcoulddunktheball?Buttheseasonturnedoutfardifferentfromeveryone’sexpectations.

FROMBADTOWORSE

From the beginning of the season, the team suffered problems. Therewere twoofus juniorson thevarsitywhohad the talent tostart for theteam: JohnThomas,whowas the team’sbest rebounder, andme, thebestshootingguard.Wethoughtplayingtimeshouldbebasedstrictlyon

ability,andwefiguredwedeservedourplaceontheteam.Theseniors,who had taken a backseat to the previous year’s seniors, thought weshouldbemadetopayourduesandwaitonthebench.

What beganas a rivalry between the JVand varsity the year beforeturned into a war between the juniors and the seniors. When wescrimmagedatpractice,itwasthejuniorsagainsttheseniors.Ingamesthe seniors wouldn’t pass to the juniors and vice versa. The battlesbecameso fierce thatbefore long, the juniorsand theseniorswouldn’tevenworktogetheronthecourtduringgames.Ourcoach,DonNeff,hadtoplatoonus.Theseniorswouldstart,andwhenasubstitutionbecamenecessary,he’dputnotonebutfivejuniorsinthegame.Webecametwoteamsononeroster.

Idon’trememberexactlywhostartedtherivalrythatsplitourteam,butIdorememberthatJohnThomasandIembraceditearlyon.I’vealwaysbeena leader, and I didmy shareof influencingother teammembers.Unfortunately, I have to confess that I led the juniors in the wrongdirection.

Whatstartedasabadattitudeinoneortwoplayersmadeamessofthe situation for everyone. By the time we were in the thick of ourschedule,eventheplayerswhodidn’twanttotakepartintherivalrywereaffected. The season was a disaster. In the end, we finished with amediocre recordandnevercameclose to reachingourpotential. It justgoestoshowyou,rottenattitudesruinateam.

TALENTISNOTENOUGH

Frommy high school basketball experience I learned that talent is notenoughtobringsuccesstoateam.Ofcourse,youneedtalent.MyfriendLouHoltz,theoutstandingcollegefootballcoach,observed,“You’vegottohavegreatathletestowin...Youcan’twinwithoutgoodathletes,butyou can lose with them.” But it also takes much more than talentedpeopletowin.

My high school teammateswere loadedwith talent, and if thatwere

enough,wecouldhavebeenstatechampions.Butwewerealsoloadedwithrottenattitudes.Youknowwhichwonthebattlebetweentalentandattitude in the end. Perhaps that is why to this day I understand theimportance of a positive attitude and have placed such a strongemphasisonitformyself,formychildrenastheyweregrowingup,andfortheteamsIlead.

YearsagoIwrotesomethingaboutattitudeformybookTheWinningAttitude.I’dliketoshareitwithyou:

Attitude...

Itisthe“advanceman”ofourtrueselves.

Itsrootsareinwardbutitsfruitisoutward.

Itisourbestfriendorourworstenemy.

Itismorehonestandmoreconsistentthanourwords.

Itisanoutwardlookbasedonpastexperiences.

Itisathingwhichdrawspeopletousorrepelsthem.

Itisnevercontentuntilitisexpressed.

Itisthelibrarianofourpast.

Itisthespeakerofourpresent.

Itistheprophetofourfuture.1

Goodattitudesamongplayersdonotguaranteeateam’ssuccess,butbad attitudes guarantee its failure. The following five truths aboutattitudesclarifyhowtheyaffectteamworkandaleader’steam:

1.ATTITUDESHAVETHEPOWERTOLIFTUPORTEARDOWNATEAM

In The Winner’s Edge Denis Waitley stated, “The real leaders inbusiness, in the professional community, in education, in government,and in the home also seem to draw upon a special cutting edge thatseparates them from the rest of society. Thewinner’s edge is not in a

giftedbirth,inahighIQ,orintalent.Thewinner’sedgeisintheattitude,

notaptitude.”2

Unfortunately,Ithinktoomanypeopleresistthatnotion.Theywanttobelievethattalentalone(ortalentwithexperience)isenough.Butplentyof talented teams out there never amount to anything because of theattitudesoftheirplayers.

Various attitudes may impact a team made up of highly talentedplayers:

Abilities + Attitudes = ResultGreatTalent + RottenAttitudes = BadTeamGreatTalent + BadAttitudes = AverageTeamGreatTalent + AverageAttitudes = GoodTeamGreatTalent + GoodAttitudes = GreatTeam

Ifyouwantoutstandingresults,youneedgoodpeoplewithgreattalentandawesomeattitudes.Whenattitudesgoup,sodoes thepotentialoftheteam.Whenattitudesgodown,thepotentialoftheteamgoeswithit.

2.ANATTITUDECOMPOUNDSWHENEXPOSEDTOOTHERS

Several thingsona teamarenot contagious: talent,experience,andwillingness to practice. But you can be sure of one thing: Attitude iscatching.When someone on the team is teachable and his humility isrewarded by improvement, others are more likely to display similarcharacteristics. When a leader is upbeat in the face of discouragingcircumstances,othersadmirethatqualityandwanttobelikeher.Whenateammemberdisplaysastrongworkethicandbeginstohaveapositiveimpact, others imitate him. People become inspired by their peers.Peoplehaveatendencytoadopttheattitudesofthosetheyspendtimewith—to pick up on their mind-sets, beliefs, and approaches to

challenges.

The story of Roger Bannister is an inspiring example of the wayattitudesoften“compound.”Duringthefirsthalfofthetwentiethcentury,manysportsexpertsbelievedthatnorunnercouldrunamileinlessthanfourminutes. And for a long time theywere right. But then onMay 6,1954,BritishrunneranduniversitystudentRogerBannisterranamilein3minutes59.4secondsduringameetinOxford.Lessthantwomonthslater,anotherrunner,AustralianJohnLandy,alsobrokethefour-minutebarrier. Then suddenly dozens and then hundreds of others broke it.Why?Becausethebestrunners’attitudeschanged.Theybegantoadoptthemind-setsandbeliefsoftheirpeers.

Bannister’sattitudeandactionscompoundedwhenexposedtoothers.His attitude spread. Today, every world-class runner who competes atthat distance can run a mile in less than four minutes. Attitudes arecontagious!

3.BADATTITUDESCOMPOUNDFASTERTHANGOODONES

There’s only one thingmore contagious thanagoodattitude—abadattitude. For some reasonmany people think it’s chic to be negative. Isuspectthattheythinkitmakesthemappearsmartorimportant.Butthetruth is that a negative attitude hurts rather than helps the personwhohasit.Anditalsohurtsthepeoplearoundhim.

Toseehowquicklyandeasilyanattitudeormind-setcanspread,justthink about this story from Norman Cousins: Once during a footballgame, a doctor at the first aid station treated five people for what hesuspected might be food poisoning. He soon discovered that all fivepeople had bought drinks from a particular concession stand at thestadium.

The physician requested that the announcer advise people in thestadiumtoavoidbuyingdrinksfromtheparticularvendorbecauseofthe

possibilityoffoodpoisoning.Beforelong,morethantwohundredpeoplecomplained of food poisoning symptoms. Nearly half the people’ssymptomsweresoseverethattheyweretakentothehospital.

The story doesn’t end there, however. After a little more detectivework, it was discovered that the five original victims had eaten taintedpotatosaladfromoneparticulardelionthewaytothegame.Whentheother“sufferers”foundoutthatthedrinksinthestadiumweresafe,theyexperienced miraculous recoveries. That just goes to show you, anattitudespreadsveryquickly.

4.ATTITUDESARESUBJECTIVE,SOIDENTIFYINGAWRONGONECANBEDIFFICULT

Haveyoueverinteractedwithsomeoneforthefirsttimeandsuspectedthat his attitude was poor, yet you were unable to put your finger onexactlywhatwaswrong?Ibelievemanypeoplehavethatexperience.

ATTITUDEISREALLYABOUTHOWAPERSONIS.THATOVERFLOWSINTOHOWHEACTS.

The reasonpeopledoubt theirobservationsaboutothers’attitudes isthat attitudes are subjective. Someone with a bad attitudemay not doanythingillegalorunethical,yethisattitudemayberuiningtheteamjustthesame.

People always project on the outside how they feel on the inside.Attitudeisreallyabouthowapersonis.Thatoverflowsintohowheacts.Allowmetosharewithyoucommonrottenattitudesthatruinateamsothatyoucanrecognizethemforwhattheyarewhenyouseethem.

Aninabilitytoadmitwrongdoing.Haveyoueverspenttimewithpeoplewho never admit they’re wrong? It’s painful. Nobody’s perfect, butsomeonewhothinksheisdoesnotmakeanidealteammate.Hiswrongattitudewillalwayscreateconflict.

Failing to forgive. It’s said that Clara Barton, the founder of modernnursing, was once encouraged to bemoan a cruel act inflicted on her

yearsearlier,butBartonwouldn’ttakethebait.

“Don’t you remember the wrong that was done to you?” the friendgoaded.

“No,”answeredBarton,“Idistinctlyrememberforgettingthat.”

Holding a grudge is never positive or appropriate. And whenunforgivenessoccursbetweenteammates,it’scertaintohurttheteam.

Pettyjealousy.Anattitudethatreallyworksagainstpeopleisthedesireforequality that feedspetty jealousy.For some reason thepeoplewiththis attitude believe that every person deserves equal treatment,regardlessoftalent,performance,orimpact.Yetnothingcouldbefartherfrom the truth.Each of us is created uniquely and performs differently,andasaresult,weshouldbetreatedassuch.

Thediseaseofme. InhisbookTheWinnerWithin,highlysuccessfulNBAcoachPatRileywritesaboutthe“diseaseofme.”Hesaysofteammemberswhohaveit,“Theydevelopanoverpoweringbeliefintheirownimportance. Their actions virtually shout the claim, ‘I’m the one.’” Rileyasserts that the disease always has the same inevitable result: “The

DefeatofUs.”3

A critical spirit. Fred and Martha were driving home after a churchservice. “Fred,”Marthaasked, “did younotice that thepastor’s sermonwaskindofweaktoday?”

“No,notreally,”answeredFred.

“Well,didyouhearthatthechoirwasflat?”

“No,Ididn’t,”heresponded.

“Well, you certainly must have noticed that young couple and theirchildrenrightinfrontofus,withallthenoiseandcommotiontheymadethewholeservice!”

“I’msorry,dear,butno,Ididn’t.”

Finally indisgustMarthasaid, “Honestly,Fred, Idon’t knowwhyyouevenbothertogotochurch.”

When someone on the teamhas a critical spirit, everybody knows itbecauseeveryoneontheteamcandonoright.

Adesiretohogallthecredit.Anotherbadattitudethathurtstheteamissimilartothe“diseaseofme.”Butwherethepersonwiththatdiseasemay simmer in the background and create dissension, the credit hogcontinuallystepsintothespotlighttotakeabow—whetherhehasearnedit or not. His attitude is opposite that of NBA Hall of Fame center BillRussell,whosaidofhistimeonthecourt,“Themostimportantmeasureof how good a game I played was how much better I’d made myteammatesplay.”

Certainly thereareothernegativeattitudes that I haven’t named,butmy intention isn’t to list every bad attitude—just some of the mostcommonones.Inaword,mostbadattitudesaretheresultofselfishness.If one of your teammates puts others down, sabotages teamwork, ormakeshimselfouttobemoreimportantthantheteam,thenyoucanbesurethatyou’veencounteredsomeonewithabadattitude.

5.ROTTENATTITUDES,LEFTALONE,RUINEVERYTHING

Bad attitudes must be addressed. You can be sure that they willalwayscausedissension,resentment,combativeness,anddivisiononateam. And they will never go away on their own if they are leftunaddressed. They will simply fester and ruin a team—along with itschancesofreachingitspotential.

Because people with bad attitudes are so difficult to deal with andbecauseattitudesseemsosubjective,youmaydoubtyourgut reactionwhen you encounter someone with a bad attitude. After all, if it’s onlyyour opinion that he has a rotten attitude, then you have no right toaddressit,right?Not ifyoucareabouttheteam.Rottenattitudesruina

team.That isalways true. If you leaveabadapple inabarrelofgoodapples, youwill always endupwith a barrel of rotten apples.Attitudesalwaysimpactaleader’seffectiveness.

PresidentThomasJeffersonremarked,“Nothingcanstopthemanwiththe rightmental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth canhelpthemanwiththewrongmentalattitude.”Ifyoucareaboutyourteamandyouare committed tohelpingall of theplayers, youcan’t ignoreabadattitude.

Dealingwithapersonwhoseattitudeisbadcanbeaverytrickything.Beforeyoutrytoaddresstheissue,youwouldbenefitfromacloserlookatattitudesandhowtheyaffectanindividual.

2

HOWDOESATTITUDEIMPACTANINDIVIDUAL?

Yourattitudeandyourpotentialgohandinhand.

What isattitude?Howdoyouputyour fingeron it?.Well,attitude isaninward feeling expressed by behavior. That is why an attitude can beseenwithoutawordbeingsaid.Haven’tweallnoticed“thepout”of thesulker,or the “jutted jaw”of thedetermined?Ofall the thingswewear,ourexpressionisthemostimportant.

Sometimesourattitudecanbemaskedoutwardlyandotherswhoseeusare fooled.Butusually thecover-upswillnot last long.There is thatconstantstruggleastheattitudetriestowiggleitswayout.

My fatherenjoys telling thestoryof the four-year-oldwhohadoneofthosetrouble-filleddays.Afterreprimandinghim,hismotherfinallysaidtohim,“Son,yougoovertothatchairandsitonitnow!”Thelittleladwenttothechair,satdownandsaid,“Mommy,I’msittingontheoutside,butI’mstandingupontheinside.”

Psychologist/philosopherJamesAllenstates, “Apersoncannot travelwithinandstandstillwithout.”Soonwhatishappeningwithinuswillaffectwhat ishappeningwithout.Ahardenedattitude isadreadeddisease. Itcausesaclosedmindandadarkfuture.Whenourattitudeispositiveandconducivetogrowth,themindexpandsandtheprogressbegins.

ATTITUDEDETERMINESSUCCESSORFAILURE

While leading a conference in South Carolina, I tried the followingexperiment. I asked the audience, “What word describes what willdetermine our happiness, acceptance, peace, and success?” Theaudiencebegan toexpresswordssuchas job,education,money, time.Finallysomeonesaidattitude.Suchanimportantareaoftheirliveswasasecond thought. Our attitude is the primary force that will determinewhetherwesucceedorfail.

Forsome,attitudepresentsadifficultyineveryopportunity;forothersitpresents an opportunity in every difficulty. Some climb with a positiveattitude,whileothers fallwithanegativeperspective.Thevery fact thattheattitude “makes some”while “breakingothers” is significant enoughforustoexploreitsimportance.Herearesevenaxiomsaboutattitudetohelpyoubetterunderstandhowitimpactsaperson’slife:

ATTITUDEAXIOM#1:OURATTITUDEDETERMINESOURAPPROACHTOLIFE

Ourattitude tellsuswhatweexpect from life.Likeanairplane, ifour“nose” ispointedup,wearetakingoff; if it ispointeddown,wemaybeheadedforacrash.

Oneofmyfavoritestoriesisaboutagrandpaandgrandmawhovisitedtheir grandchildren.EachafternoonGrandpawould lie down for a nap.Oneday,asapracticaljoke,thekidsdecidedtoputLimburgercheeseinhismustache.Quitesoonheawokesniffing.“Why,thisroomstinks,”heexclaimedashegotupandwentout into thekitchen.Hewasn’t therelonguntilhedecidedthatthekitchensmelledtoo,sohewalkedoutdoorsforabreathoffreshair.MuchtoGrandpa’ssurprise,theopenairbroughtnorelief,andheproclaimed,“Thewholeworldstinks!”

How true that is to life! When we carry “Limburger cheese” in ourattitudes,thewholeworldsmellsbad.Weareindividuallyresponsibleforourviewof life.Thattruthhasbeenknownforagesandiscontainedin

Scripture:“Forwhateveramansows,thathewillalsoreap.”1Ourattitudetowardandactioninlifehelpdeterminewhathappenstous.

Itwouldbeimpossibletoestimatethenumberofjobslost,thenumberofpromotionsmissed,thenumberofsalesnotmade,andthenumberofmarriagesruinedbypoorattitudes.

Butalmostdailywewitnessjobsthatareheldbuthatedandmarriagesthataretoleratedbutunhappy,allbecausepeoplearewaitingforothers,ortheworld,tochangeinsteadofrealizingthattheyareresponsiblefortheirownbehavior.

ATTITUDEAXIOM#2:OURATTITUDEDETERMINESOURRELATIONSHIPSWITHPEOPLE

Alloflifeisimpactedbyyourrelationshipswithpeople,yetestablishingrelationships isdifficult.Youcan’tgetalongwithsomepeople,andyoucan’t make it without them. That’s why it is essential to build properrelationshipswithothersinourcrowdedworld.

TheStanfordResearchInstitutesaysthatthemoneyyoumakeinanyendeavor is determined only 12.5 percent by knowledge and 87.5percentbyyourabilitytodealwithpeople.

87.5%peopleknowledge+12.5%productknowledge=Success

That is why Teddy Roosevelt said, “The most important singleingredient to the formula of success is knowing how to get along withpeople.”AndwhyJohnD.Rockefellersaid,“Iwillpaymorefortheabilitytodealwithpeoplethananyotherabilityunderthesun.”

Whentheattitudewepossessplacesothersfirstandweseepeopleasimportant,thenourperspectivewillreflecttheirviewpoint,notours.Untilwewalkintheotherperson’sshoesandseelifethroughanother’seyes,wewillbelikethemanwhoangrilyjumpedoutofhiscarafteracollisionwithanothercar.“Whydon’tyoupeoplewatchwhereyou’redriving?”heshoutedwildly.“You’rethefourthcarI’vehittoday!”

Usually the person who rises within an organization has a goodattitude. The promotions did not give that individual an outstandingattitude,butanoutstandingattituderesultedinpromotions.

ATTITUDEAXIOM#3:OFTENOURATTITUDEISTHEONLYDIFFERENCEBETWEENSUCCESSANDFAILURE

History’sgreatestachievementshavebeenmadebymenwhoexcelledonlyslightlyoverthemassesofothersintheirfields.Thiscouldbecalledthe principle of the slight edge. Many times that slight difference wasattitude. The former Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir underlined thistruthinoneofherinterviews.Shesaid,“Allmycountryhasisspirit.Wedon’thavepetroleumdollars.Wedon’thaveminesofgreatwealthintheground. We don’t have the support of a worldwide public opinion thatlooksfavorablyonus.All Israelhasisthespiritof itspeople.Andif thepeople lose their spirit, even theUnitedStatesofAmericacannot saveus.”

Certainly aptitude is important to our success in life. Yet success orfailureinanyundertakingiscausedmorebymentalattitudethanbymeremental capacities. I remember times when Margaret, my wife, wouldcome home from teaching school frustrated because of moderneducation’s emphasis on aptitude instead of attitude. She wanted thekids to be tested on A.Q. (attitude quotient) instead of just the I.Q.(intelligence quotient). She would talk of kids whose I.Q. was high yettheir performancewas low. Therewere otherswhose I.Q.was low buttheirperformancewashigh.

Asaparent,Ihopemychildrenhaveexcellentmindsandoutstandingattitudes.ButifIhadtochoosean“either-or”situation,withouthesitationIwouldwanttheirA.Q.tobehigh.

AYaleUniversitypresident someyearsagogavesimilaradvice toaformerpresidentofOhioState:“AlwaysbekindtoyourAandBstudents.Somedayoneof themwill return to your campusasagoodprofessor.Andalso be kind to yourC students.Somedayoneof themwill returnandbuildatwo-million-dollarsciencelaboratory.”

Thereisverylittledifferenceinpeople,butthatlittledifferencemakesabig difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is

whetheritispositiveornegative.

ATTITUDEAXIOM#4:OURATTITUDEATTHEBEGINNINGOFATASKWILLAFFECTITSOUTCOMEMORETHANANYTHINGELSE

Coaches understand the importance of their teams’ having the rightattitude before facing a tough opponent. Surgeons want to see theirpatientsmentallypreparedbeforegoing intosurgery.Job-seekersknowthat theirprospectiveemployer is looking formore than justskillswhenthey apply for work. Public speakers want a conducive atmospherebefore they communicate to their audience. Why? Because the rightattitudeinthebeginningensuressuccessattheend.Youareacquaintedwiththesaying“All’swellthatendswell.”Anequaltruthis“All’swellthatbeginswell.”

Most projects fail or succeed before they begin. A young mountainclimber and an experienced guide were ascending a high peak in theSierras.Earlyonemorningtheyoungclimberwassuddenlyawakenedbya tremendous cracking sound. He was convinced that the end of theworldhadcome.Theguideresponded,“It’snottheendoftheworld,justthedawningofanewday.”Asthesunrose,itwasmerelyhittingtheiceandcausingittomelt.

Many timeswe have been guilty of viewing our future challenges asthesunsetofliferatherthanthesunriseofabrightnewopportunity.

Forinstance,there’sthestoryoftwoshoesalesmenwhoweresenttoanislandtosellshoes.Thefirstsalesman,uponarrival,wasshockedtorealize that no onewore shoes. Immediately he sent a telegram to hishome office in Chicago saying, “Will return home tomorrow. No onewearsshoes.”

The second salesman was thrilled by the same realization.Immediately hewired thehomeoffice inChicago saying, “Please sendme10,000shoes.Everyonehereneedsthem.”

ATTITUDEAXIOM#5:OURATTITUDECANTURNOURPROBLEMSINTOBLESSINGS

InAwake,MyHeart, J. SidlowBaxter wrote, “What is the differencebetween an obstacle and an opportunity?Our attitude toward it. Every

opportunityhasadifficultyandeverydifficultyhasanopportunity.”2

Whenconfrontedwithadifficultsituation,apersonwithanoutstandingattitudemakes the best of it while he gets the worst of it. Life can belikened to a grindstone. Whether it grinds you down or polishes youdependsuponwhatyouaremadeof.

Whileattendingaconferenceofyoungleaders,Iheardthisstatement:“No society has ever developed tough men during times of peace.”Adversity isprosperity to thosewhopossessagreatattitude.Kites riseagainst, not with, the wind.When the adverse wind of criticism blows,allowittobetoyouwhattheblastofwindistothekite—aforceagainstitthatliftsithigher.Akitewouldnotflyunlessithadthecontrollingtensionofthestringtotieitdown.Itisequallytrueinlife.Considerthefollowingsuccessesthatwereaccomplishedthroughapositiveattitude.

WHENCONFRONTEDWITHADIFFICULTSITUATION,APERSONWITHANOUTSTANDINGATTITUDEMAKESTHE

BESTOFITWHILEHEGETSTHEWORSTOFIT.

WhenNapoleon’s school companionsmade sport of him because ofhishumbleoriginandpoverty,hedevotedhimselfentirely tohisbooks.Quicklyrisingabovehisclassmatesinscholarship,hecommandedtheirrespect.Soonhewasregardedasthebrightestintheclass.

Fewpeople knewAbrahamLincolnuntil thegreatweight of theCivilWarshowedhischaracter.

RobinsonCrusoewaswritten in prison. JohnBunyanwrotePilgrim’sProgress intheBedfordjail.SirWalterRaleighwroteTheHistoryoftheWorld during a thirteen-year imprisonment. Luther translated the Biblewhileconfined in thecastleofWartburg.For tenyearsDante,authorofTheDivineComedy,worked in exile and under the sentence of death.Beethovenwas almost totally deaf and burdenedwith sorrowwhen he

producedhisgreatestworks.

WhenGodwants toeducatesomeone,Hedoesnotsendhim to theschoolofgracesbuttotheschoolofnecessities.Great leadersemergewhen crises occur. In the lives of people who achieve, we readrepeatedly of terrible troubles that forced them to rise above thecommonplace.Notonlydotheyfindtheanswers,buttheyalsodiscoveratremendouspowerwithinthemselves.Likeagroundswellfaroutintheocean,thisforcewithinexplodesintoamightywavewhencircumstancesseemtoovercome.Thenoutstepstheathlete,theauthor,thestatesman,thescientist,orthebusinessman.DavidSarnoffsaid,“Thereisplentyofsecurityinthecemetery;Ilongforopportunity.”

ATTITUDEAXIOM#6:OURATTITUDECANGIVEUSANUNCOMMONLYPOSITIVEPERSPECTIVE

An uncommonly positive perspective is able to help us accomplishsomeuncommongoals.Ihavekeenlyobservedthedifferentapproachesandresultsachievedbyapositivethinkerandbyapersonfilledwithfearandapprehension.Forexample,inancientIsraelwhenGoliathcameupagainst theHebrews,thesoldiersall thought,He’ssobigwecanneverkillhim.Davidlookedatthesamegiantandthought,He’ssobig Ican’tmiss.

George Sweeting, former president of Moody Bible Institute, tells astoryaboutaScotsmanwhowasanextremelyhardworkerandexpectedallthemenunderhimtobethesame.Hismenwouldteasehim,“Scotty,don’tyouknowthatRomewasn’tbuiltinaday?”“Yes,”hewouldanswer,“Iknowthat.ButIwasn’tforemanonthatjob.”

Individuals whose attitudes cause them to approach life from anentirely positive perspective are not always understood. They arewhatsomewouldcalla“no-limitpeople.”Inotherwords,theydon’tacceptthenormallimitationsoflifeasmostpeopledo.Theyareunwillingtoaccept“theaccepted”justbecauseitisaccepted.Theirresponsetoself-limitingconditionswillprobablybe“why?”insteadof“okay.”Certainly,theyhavelimitations.Theirgiftsarenot soplentiful that theycannot fail.But they

are determined to walk to the very edge of their potential and thepotentialoftheirgoalsbeforeacceptingdefeat.

Theyarelikebumblebees.Accordingtoatheoryofaerodynamics,asdemonstrated through the wind tunnel tests, the bumblebee should beunable to fly. Because of the size, weight, and shape of its body inrelationshiptothetotalwingspan,flyingisscientifically impossible.Thebumblebee, being ignorant of scientific theory, goes ahead and fliesanywayandmakeshoneyeveryday.

Thefuturenotonlylooksbrightwhentheattitudeisright,butalsothepresent ismuchmore enjoyable. The positive person understands thatthejourneyofsuccessisasenjoyableasthedestination.Askedwhichofhis works he would select as his masterpiece, architect Frank LloydWright,attheageofeighty-three,replied,“Mynextone.”

A friend of mine in Ohio drove eighteen-wheelers for an interstatetrucking company. Knowing the hundreds ofmiles he loggedweekly, Ionceaskedhimhowhekeptfromgettingextremelytired.“It’sallinyourattitude,”hereplied.“Somedrivers‘gotowork’ inthemorning,butI ‘goforarideinthecountry.’”Thatkindofpositiveperspectivegiveshimthe“edge”onlife.

ATTITUDEAXIOM#7:YOURATTITUDEISNOTAUTOMATICALLYGOODBECAUSEYOUAREARELIGIOUSPERSON

Itisnoteworthythatthesevendeadlysins—pride,covetousness,lust,envy,anger,gluttony,andsloth—areallmattersofattitude, innerspirit,and motives. Sadly, many people of faith carry with them inner-spiritproblems.Theyareliketheelderbrothercontainedintheparableoftheprodigal son, thinking that they do everything right.While the youngerbrotherlefthometoliveawildlife,theelderbrotherchosetostayhomewithhisfather.Hewasn’tgoingtospendhistimesowingwildoats!Yet,when the younger brother returned home, some of the elder brother’swrongattitudesbegantosurface.

Firstwasafeelingofself-importance.Theelderbrotherwasoutinthefielddoingwhatheoughttodo,buthegotmadwhenthepartybeganathome—hisfatherwouldneverlethimhaveoneforhimself!

That was followed by a feeling of self-pity. The elder brother said,“Look!ForsomanyyearsIhavebeenservingyou,andyouhaveneverthrownapartyforme.Butwhenyoursonwhowastedallofyourmoney

comeshome,yougivehimabigcelebration.”3

Often people overlook the true meaning of the story of the prodigalson.They forget that therearenotonebut twoprodigals.Theyoungerbrotherisguiltyofthesinsoftheflesh,whereastheelderbrotherisguiltyof the sins of the spirit. His problem is his attitude. At the end of theparable,it istheelderbrother—thesecondprodigal—whoisoutsidethefather’shouse.

Andthatisagoodlessonforallofustoremember.Apoorattitudewilltake us places we don’t want to go. Sometimes it can even take youcompletelyoutofthegame.Ontheotherhand,agoodattitudeputsyouintheplaceofgreatestpotential.

Perhaps you’re not sure if your attitude is where it ought to be. Ormaybe you are leading someone whose attitude isn’t as positive as itcould be. How do you address that? First, you need to know how aperson’sattitudeisformed.That’sthesubjectofthenextchapter.

PART11

THEFORMATIONOFATTITUDE

3

WHATSHAPESAPERSON’SATTITUDE?

Alotgoesintoanattitude—butalotmorecomesoutofit!

Attitudes aren’t shaped in a vacuum. People are born with certaincharacteristics,and those impact theirattitudes.Butmanyother factorsplayanevengreater role inpeople’s livesand in the formationof theirattitudes.Whilethesefactorscontinually impactpeople, ingeneral, theymakethegreatestimpressionduringthefollowingtimesoflife:

STAGES FACTORSPRE-BIRTH: Inherentpersonality/temperamentBIRTH: EnvironmentAGES–6: WordexpressionAdultacceptance/affirmationAGES6–10: Self-imageExposuretonewexperiencesAGES11–21: Peers,physicalappearance

AGES21–61:

Marriage,family,job,successAdjustments,assessmentoflife

PERSONALITY—WHOIAM

All people are born as distinct individuals. Even two children with thesameparents,sameenvironment,andsametrainingaretotallydifferentfromeachother.Thesedifferencescontributetothe“spiceoflife”weallenjoy. Like tract homes that all look alike, if we all had similarpersonalities,ourjourneythroughlifewouldcertainlybeboring.

GENERALLY,PEOPLEWITHCERTAINTEMPERAMENTSDEVELOP

GENERALLY,PEOPLEWITHCERTAINTEMPERAMENTSDEVELOPSPECIFICATTITUDESCOMMONTOTHATTEMPERAMENT.

I lovethestoryoftwomenoutfishingtogetherwhobegandiscussingtheirwives.Onesaid,“Ifallmenwerelikeme,theywouldallwanttobemarriedtomywife.”Theothermanquicklyreplied,“If theywereall likeme,noneofthemwouldwanttobemarriedtoher.”

A set of attitudes accompanies each personality type. Generally,peoplewithcertain temperamentsdevelopspecificattitudescommontothat temperament. A few years ago, Tim LaHaye, co-author of thepopular “Left Behind” novels, lectured and wrote about the four basictemperaments. Through observation, I have noticed that a personwithwhat he calls a choleric personality often exhibits attitudes ofperseverance and aggressiveness. A sanguine person is generallypositiveandlooksonthebrightsideof life.Anintrospectivemelancholyindividualcanbenegativeat times,whileaphlegmatic isprone tosay,“Easy come, easy go.” Every individual’s personality is composed of amixture of these temperaments, and there are exceptions to thesegeneralizations.However, a temperament ordinarily followsa track thatcanbeidentifiedbytracingaperson’sattitudes.

ENVIRONMENT—WHAT’SAROUNDME

I believe that environment is a greater controlling factor in our attitudedevelopmentthanourpersonalityorotherinheritedtraits.Beforemywife,Margaret,and Ibeganour familywedecided toadoptourchildren.Wewantedtogiveachildwhomightnotnormallyhavethebenefitofalovingfaith-filledhomeanopportunity to live in thatenvironment.Althoughourchildren may not physically resemble us, they certainly have beenmoldedbytheenvironmentinwhichwehaverearedthem.

The environment of early childhood develops a person’s “beliefsystem.” Children continually pick up priorities, attitudes, interests, andphilosophiesfromtheirenvironment.ItisafactthatwhatIreallybelieveaffectsmyattitude!However,thethingsIbelievemaynotbetrue.WhatIbelievemaynotbehealthy.Itmayevenhurtothersanddestroyme.Yetanattitudeisreinforcedbyabelief—whetheritisrightorwrong.

Environment is the first influencerofourbelief system.Therefore thefoundation of an attitude is laid in the environment to which we wereborn.Environmentbecomesevenmoresignificantwhenwerealize thatthebeginningattitudesarethemostdifficulttochange.

WORDEXPRESSION—WHATIHEAR

You’veundoubtedlyheardtheoldsaying:“Sticksandstonesmaybreakmybones,butnameswillneverhurtme.”Don’tyoubelievethat!Infact,after the bruises have disappeared and the physical pain is gone, theinwardpainofhurtfulwordsremains.

Years ago when I was leading a church, during one of our staffmeetings Iasked thepastors,secretaries,andcustodians to raise theirhands if they could remember a childhood experience that hurt deeplybecause of someone’s words. Everyone raised his hand. One pastorrecalled the time when he sat in a reading circle at school. (Do yourememberhow intimidating thosesessionswere?)Whenhis timecameto read, he mispronounced the word photography. He read itphotography instead of pho-tog-ra-phy. The teacher corrected him andtheclasslaughed.Hestillremembers...fortyyearslater.Onepositiveresult of that experience was his desire from that moment on topronouncewordscorrectly.

Today one of the reasons he excels as a speaker is because of thatdetermination.

ADULTACCEPTANCE/AFFIRMATION—WHATIFEEL

OftenwhenIamspeakingtoleaders,Itellthemabouttheimportanceofaccepting andaffirming the ones they are leading. The truth is, peopledon’tcarehowmuchyouknowuntiltheyknowhowmuchyoucare!

Thinkbacktoyourschooldays.Whowasyourfavoriteteacher?Nowthink of why. Probably your warmest memories are of someone who

acceptedandaffirmedyou.Weseldomrememberwhatourteachersaidto us, but we do remember how they loved us. Long before weunderstandteaching,wereachoutforunderstanding.Longafterwehaveforgotten the teachings, we remember the feeling of acceptance orrejection.

PEOPLEDON’TCAREHOWMUCHYOUKNOWUNTILTHEYKNOWHOWMUCHYOUCARE.

ManytimesIhaveaskedpeopleiftheyenjoyedtheirpastor’ssermonthe previous week. After a positive response I ask, “What was hissubject?” Seventy-five percent of the time they cannot give me thesermon title. They do not remember the exact subject, but they doremembertheatmosphereandattitudeinwhichitwasdelivered.

My favorite Sunday school teachers frommy childhood are beautifulexamplesofthistruth.FirstcameKatie,mysecondgradeteacher.WhenI was sick and missed her class, she would come and visit me onMonday.ShewouldaskhowIwasfeelingandgivemeafive-centtrinketthatwasworthamilliondollarstome.Katiewouldsay,“Johnny,Ialwaysteach better when you are in the class.When you come next Sundaymorning,wouldyouraiseyourhandsoIcanseeyouareinattendance?ThenIwillteachbetter.”

Icanstill remember raisingmyhandandwatchingKatiesmileatmefromthefrontoftheclass.IalsorememberotherkidsraisingtheirhandsonSundayswhenKatiebegantoteachandherclassgrewrapidly.Thatyear, the Sunday school superintendent wanted to split the class andstartanewoneacrossthehall.Heaskedforvolunteersforthenewclassand no one raised his hand. Why? No kid wanted to go with a newteacherandmissKatie’scontinualdemonstrationoflove.

Another teacher I remember is Glen Leatherwood. He taught all thejuniorhighschoolboysinthechurchwhereIgrewup.Didyoueverteacha group of ten-wiggles-per-minute boys? Usually those teachers gostraight fromteachingthatclassto theirheavenlyreward!ButnotGlen.Hetaught juniorhighboysforanotherthirtyyears.ThetwelvemonthsIspentinhisclassmadeaprofoundimpactonmyfaithandmylife’swork.

I was also privileged to grow up in a very affirming family. I neverquestionedmyparents’ loveandacceptance.Theycontinuallyaffirmedtheir love through actions andwords.When our childrenwere growingup, Margaret and I tried to create that same environment for them. Ibelieve that our kids saw or sensed our acceptance and affirmation atleastthirtytimesaday.TodayI’dsayourgrandchildrengetalmosttwiceasmuch.That’snottoomuch!Haveyoueverbeentoldtoomanytimesthatyouareimportant,loved,andappreciated?Remember,peopledon’tcarehowmuchyouknowuntiltheyknowhowmuchyoucare.

SELF-IMAGE—HOWISEEMYSELF

Itisimpossibletoperformconsistentlyinamannerinconsistentwiththewayweseeourselves.Inotherwords,weusuallyactindirectresponsetoourself-image.Nothing ismoredifficult toaccomplish thanchangingoutwardactionswithoutchanginginwardfeelings.

Oneofthebestwaystoimprovethoseinwardfeelingsistoputsome“success”underyourbelt.MydaughterElizabethhasa tendency tobeshy and wants to hold back on new experiences. But once she haswarmedup toasituation, it’s “full steamahead.”Whenshewas in firstgrade, her school had a candy bar sale. Each child was given thirtycandybarsandwaschallengedtoselleveryoneofthem.WhenIpickedupElizabeth from school shewas holding her “challenge” and neededsomepositiveencouragement. Itwas time fora salesmeetingwithmynewsalesgirl.

All the way home I taught her how to sell candy bars. I surroundedeachteachingpointwithahalfdozen“Youcandoit—yoursmilewillwinthem over—I believe in you” phrases. By the end of our fifteen-minutedrive, the young lady sitting beside me had become a charming,committedsaleslady.OffshewenttotheneighborhoodwithlittlebrotherJoeleatingoneofthecandybarsanddeclaringthatitwastrulythebesthehadeverdevoured.

Attheendoftheday,allthirtybarshadbeensoldandElizabethwasfeelinggreat.IwillneverforgetthewordssheprayedasItuckedherinto

bedthatnight:“OGod,thanksforthecandysaleatschool.It’sgreat.OLord,helpmakemeawinner!Amen.”

Elizabeth’s prayer reflects the heart’s desire of every person.We allwant to be winners. Sure enough, Elizabeth came home the next daywithanotherboxof candybars.Now thebig test!She’dexhausted thesupplyof friendlyneighbors, andshewas thrust into the cruelworldofthe unknown buyer. Elizabeth admitted fear aswewent to a shoppingcenter to sell our wares. Again I offered encouragement, a few moreselling tips, more encouragement, the right location, moreencouragement.Andshedidit.Theexperienceamountedtotwodaysofselling, twosold-outperformances, twohappypeople,andoneboostedself-image.

Howweseeourselvesreflectshowothersseeus.Ifwelikeourselves,it increases the odds that others will like us. Self-image sets theparameters for the construction of our attitudes.Weact in response tohow we see ourselves. We will never go beyond the boundaries thatstakeoutour true feelingsaboutourselves.Those “new territories”canbe explored only when our self-image is strong enough to give uspermissiontogothere.

EXPOSURETONEWEXPERIENCES—OPPORTUNITIESFORGROWTH

French philosopher François Voltaire likened life to a game of cards.Eachplayermustacceptthecardsdealttohim.Butoncethosecardsareinthehand,healonedecideshowtoplaythemtowinthegame.

Wealwayshaveanumberofopportunities inourhand,andwemustdecide whether to take a risk and act on them. Nothing in life causesmorestress,yetatthesametimeprovidesmoreopportunityforgrowth,thannewexperiences.

If you are a parent, youwill find it impossible to shield your childrenfromnewexperiencesthatmightbenegative.Soitisessentialtopreparepositive encounters that will build self-image and confidence. Both

positive and negative experiences can be used as tools in preparingchildrenforlife.

Children need continual reassurance and praise when their newexperiencesarelessthanpositive.Infact,theworsetheexperience,themoreencouragementtheyneed.Butsometimeswebecomediscouragedwhentheyarediscouraged.Thisisagoodformulatoadopt:

Newexperiences+teachingapplicationsxlove=growth.

ASSOCIATIONWITHPEERS—WHOINFLUENCESME

What others indicate about their perceptions of us affects how weperceive ourselves. Usually we respond to the expectations of others.This truthbecomesevident toparentswhen theirchildrengo toschool.Nolongercanparentscontroltheirchildren’senvironment.

Myparentsunderstoodthatotherscouldexerciseasizableamountofcontrolovertheirsons’behavior,sotheyweredeterminedtowatchandcontrol our peer relationships as much as possible. Their strategy:Providea climate in theMaxwell home thatwasappealing to their twoboys’ friends. This meant sacrificing their finances and time. Theyprovided us with a shuffleboard game, Ping-Pong table, pool table,pinball machine, chemistry set, basketball court, and all the sportsequipment imaginable. We also had a mother who was spectator,referee,counselor,arbitrator,andfan.

And the kids came, often twenty to twenty-five at a time. All sizes,shapes, and colors. Everyone had fun and my parents observed ourfriends. Sometimes, after the gang had gone, my parents would askabout one of our friends. They would openly discuss his language orattitudesandencourageusnottoactorthinkthatway.Irealizenowthatmost of my major decisions as a young boy were influenced by myparents’teachingandobservationofmyassociations.

Casey Stengel, who was a successful manager of the New York

Yankees baseball team, understood the power of associations on aballplayer’s attitude.He gaveBillyMartin some advicewhen hewas arookie manager. Martin recalled, “Casey said there would be fifteenplayers on your teamwhowill run throughawall for you, fivewhowillhateyou,andfivewhoareundecided.Whenyoumakeoutyourroominglist, always room your losers together. Never room a good guy with aloser. Those losers who stay together will blame the manager foreverything,butitwon’tspreadifyoukeepthemisolated.”

Charles “Tremendous” Jones, author of Life Is Tremendous, says,“Whatyouwillbecomeinfiveyearswillbedeterminedbywhatyoureadandwhoyouassociatewith.”That’sgoodforallofustoremember.

PHYSICALAPPEARANCE—HOWWELOOKTOOTHERS

Our looks play an important part in the construction of our attitude.Incrediblepressureisplaceduponpeopletopossessthe“inlook,”whichseemstobethestandardofacceptance.Thenexttimeyou’rewatchingtelevision, notice how much the commercials emphasize looks. Noticethe percentage of ads dealing with clothing, diet, exercise, and overallphysicalattractiveness.Hollywoodsays,“Blandnessisoutandbeautyisin.”Thisinfluencesourperceptionofourworth.

Whatcanmakeitevenmoredifficultistherealizationthatothersalsojudgeourworthbyourappearance.Recently, I readabusinessarticlethat stated, “Our physical attractiveness helps determine our income.”For example, the research reported in that article showed thediscrepanciesbetweenthesalariesofmen6'2"and5'10".Thetallermenconsistentlyreceivedhighersalaries.Likeitornot,physicalappearance(andone’sperceptionofit)impactsaperson’sattitude.

MARRIAGE,FAMILY,ANDJOB—OURSECURITYANDSTATUS

New influences begin to affect our attitude as we approach our mid-twenties.Itisduringthistimethatmostpeoplestartacareer.Theyalsooften get married. That means another person influences ourperspective.

When Ispeakonattitudes, Ialwaysemphasize theneed tosurroundourselveswithpositivepeople.OneofthesaddestcommentsthatIoftenreceive comes from someone who tells me their marriage partner isnegative and doesn’t want to change. To a certain extent, when thenegativematedoesnotwanttochange,thepositiveoneisimprisonedbynegativism. In such situations I advise the couple to remember theirspouseasthepersonthey loved in theircourtshipdays.Theirmarriagewill improve ifeachother’sweaknessesarenotemphasized.Butmanyendupindivorcecourtbecausethestrengthsareignored.Thepartnersgo from expecting the best to expecting the worst, from building onstrengthstofocusingonweaknesses.

AllofthefactorsI’vementionedgointothe“mix”ofattitude.Theyhaveimpacted who you are and those whom you lead. But remember this:Whetheryouareeleven,forty-two,orsixty-five,yourattitudetowardlifeisstill under construction. It’s never too late for a person to change hisattitude.Andthat’sthesubjectofthenextchapter.

4

CANANATTITUDEBECHANGED?

Thekeytohavingagoodattitudeisthewillingnesstochange.

Weareeitherthemastersorthevictimsofourattitudes.Itisamatterofpersonal choice. Who we are today is the result of choices we madeyesterday.Tomorrowwewillbecomewhatwechoosetoday.Tochangemeanstochoosetochange.

I’mtoldthatinnorthernCanadatherearejusttwosea-sons:winterandJuly.Whenthebackroadsbegintothaw,theybecomemuddy.Vehiclesgoing into the backwoods country leave deep ruts that become frozenwhencoldweather returns.For thoseentering remoteareasduring thewintermonths,therearesignsthatread,“Driver,pleasechoosecarefullywhichrutyoudrivein,becauseyou’llbeinitforthenexttwentymiles.”

Somepeopleseemtofeelstuckintheircurrentattitudes,likeacarinatwenty-mile rut.However,attitude isnotpermanent. If you’renothappywithyours,knowthatyoucanchangeit.Ifsomeoneyouleadhasabadattitude,thenyoucanhelpthemtochange—butonlyiftheytrulywanttochange.Anyonecanbecomethekindofpositivepersonforwhomlifeisajoyandeverydayisfilledwithpotentialiftheygenuinelydesireto.

Ifyouwanttohaveagreatattitude,thenmakethefollowingchoices:

CHOICE#1:EVALUATEYOURPRESENTATTITUDE

Theprocessbeginswithknowingwhereyou’restartingfrom.Evaluating

your present attitude will take some time. If possible, try to separateyourself from your attitude. The goal of this exercise is not to see the“badyou”buta“badattitude”thatkeepsyoufrombeingamorefulfilledperson.Youcanmakekeychangesonlywhenyouidentifytheproblem.

Whenheseesalogjam,theprofessionalloggerclimbsatalltreeandlocatesakeylog,blowsthatlogfree,andletsthestreamdotherest.Anamateur would start at the edge of the jam and move all the logs,eventuallymovingthekeylog.Obviously,bothmethodswillgetthelogsmoving,buttheprofessionaldoeshisworkmorequicklyandeffectively.

To find the key “logs” in your attitude, use the following evaluationprocess (andwrite your answers in a journal or someplacewhere youcanlaterreferbacktothem):

Identify Problem Feelings: What attitudes make you feel the mostnegative about yourself ? Usually feelings can be sensed before theproblemisclarified.

Identify Problem Behavior: What attitudes cause you the mostproblemswhendealingwithothers?

IdentifyProblemThinking:Wearethesumofourthoughts.“Asaman

thinkswithinhimself,sohe is.”1What thoughtsconsistentlycontrolyourmind?Althoughthisisthebeginningstepincorrectingattitudeproblems,thesearenotaseasytoidentifyasthefirsttwo.

Clarify Truth: In order to knowhow to change, you need to examineyour feelings in light of truth. If youareapersonof faith, thenuse theScriptures.Whatdotheytellyouabouthowyourattitudeshouldbe?

SecureCommitment:Atthisstage,“WhatmustIdotochange?”turnsinto “I must change.” Remember, the choice to change is the onedecisionthatmustbemade,andonlyyoucanmakeit.

PlanandCarryOutYourChoice:Actonyourdecisionimmediatelyandrepeatedly.

CHOICE#2:REALIZETHATFAITHISSTRONGERTHANFEAR

The only thing that will guarantee the success of a difficult or doubtfulundertaking is faith from the beginning that you can do it. PhilosopherWilliam James said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is thatpeople can alter their lives by altering their attitudes ofmind.” Changedependsonyourframeofmind.Believethatyoucanchange.Askyourfriendsandcolleaguestoencourageyouateveryopportunity.Andifyouareapersonof faith,askforGod’shelp.Heknowsyourproblems,andHeiswillingandabletohelpyouovercomethem.

CHOICE#3:WRITEASTATEMENTOFPURPOSE

WhenIwasaboy,myfatherdecidedtobuildabasketballcourt formybrother andme.Hemadea cement driveway, put a backboard on thegarage and was just getting ready to put up the basket when he wascalledawayonanemergency.Hepromisedtoputupthehoopassoonashereturned.Noproblem,Ithought.Ihaveabrand-newSpaldingballandanewcementdrivewayonwhich todribble it.Fora fewminutes Ibouncedtheballonthecement.Soonthatbecameboring,soItooktheballandthrewitupagainstthebackboard—once.Ilettheballrunoffthecourt and didn’t pick it up again until Dad returned to put up the rim.Why? It’sno funplayingbasketballwithoutagoal.The joy is inhavingsomethingtoaimfor.

Inordertohavefunanddirectioninchangingyourattitude,youmustestablish a clearly stated goal. This goal should be as specific aspossible, written out and signed, with a time frame attached to it. Thepurpose statement should be placed in a visible spotwhere you see itseveraltimesadaytogiveyoureinforcement.

Youwillattainthisgoalifeachdayyoudothreethings:

1.WRITESPECIFICALLYWHATYOUDESIRETOACCOMPLISHEACHDAY.

ThebiblicalstoryofDavid’sencounterwithGoliathisafineillustrationof faith and how itmay overcome insurmountable oddswith seeminglyinadequateresources.ButonethingperplexedmewhenIfirstbegantostudyDavid’slife.WhydidhepickfivestonesforhisslingonhiswaytoencounterGoliath?ThelongerIpondered,themoreperplexedIbecame.Why five stones? There was only one giant. Choosing five stonesseemedtobeaflawinhisfaith.Didhethinkhewasgoingtomissandthathewouldhavefourmorechances?SometimelaterIwasreadingin2Samuel, and I got theanswer.Goliathhad four sons, so thatmeansthere were five giants. In David’s reckoning, there was one stone pergiant!NowthatiswhatImeanaboutbeingspecificinourfaith.

Whatarethegiantsyoumustslaytomakeyourattitudewhatitneedstobe?Whatresourceswillyouneed?Don’tbeovercomewithfrustrationwhenyouseetheproblems.Takeonegiantatatime.Militarystrategiststeach theirarmies to fightone frontata time.Settlewhichattitudeyouwanttotackleatthistime.Writeitdown.Asyousuccessfullybegintowinbattles, write them down. And spend time reading about past victoriesbecauseitwillencourageyou.

2.VERBALIZETOANENCOURAGINGFRIENDWHATYOUWANTTOACCOMPLISHEACHDAY.

Beliefisinwardconviction;faithisoutwardaction.Youwillreceivebothencouragementandaccountabilitybyverbalizingyourintentions.Oneofthe ways people resolve a conflict is to verbalize it to themselves orsomeone else. This practice is also vital in reaching your desiredattitudes.

Iknowsuccessfulsalesmenwhorepeatthisphraseoutloudfiftytimeseach morning and fifty times each evening: “I can do it.” Continuallysayingpositivestatementshelpsthembelieveinthemselvesandcausesthemtoactonthatbelief.Startthisprocessbychangingyourvocabulary.Herearesomesuggestions:

ELIMINATETHESE MAKETHESEWORDSAWORDSCOMPLETELY PARTOFYOURVOCABULARY

1.Ican’t 1.Ican2.If 2.Iwill3.Doubt 3.Expectthebest4.Idon’tthink 4.Iknow5.Idon’thavethetime 5.Iwillmakethetime6.Maybe 6.Positively7.I’mafraidof 7.Iamconfident8.Idon’tbelieve 8.Idobelieve9.(minimize)I 9.(promote)You10.It’simpossible 10.Allthingsarepossible

3.TAKEACTIONONYOURGOALEACHDAY.

Thedifferencebetweenawisemanandafoolishoneishisresponsetowhathealreadyknows:Awisemanfollowsuponwhathehearswhileafoolishmanknowsbutdoesnotact.Tochange,youmusttakeaction.And while you’re at it, do something positive for someone else too.Nothing improves a person’s outlook like unselfish service to someonewithagreaterneedthantheirown.

CHOICE#4:HAVETHEDESIRETOCHANGE

Nochoicewilldeterminethesuccessofyourattitudechangemorethandesiring to change. When all else fails, desire alone can keep youheading in the right direction. Many people have climbed overinsurmountableobstaclestomakethemselvesbetterwhentheyrealizedthatchangeispossibleiftheywantitbadlyenough.Letmeillustrate.

Whilehoppingaboutoneday,afroghappenedtoslipintoaverylargepotholealongacountryroad.Allofhisattemptsat jumpingoutwere invain.Soonarabbitcameuponthefrogtrappedintheholeandofferedtohelphimout.He,too,failed.Aftervariousanimalsfromtheforestmadethreeorfourgallantattemptstohelpthepoorfrogout,theyfinallygave

up.“We’llgobackandgetyousomefood,”theysaid.“Itlookslikeyou’regoing to be here awhile.” However, not long after they took off to getfood,theyheardthefroghoppingalongafterthem.Theycouldn’tbelieveit! “We thought you couldn’t get out!” they exclaimed. “Oh, I couldn’t,”repliedthefrog.“Butyousee,therewasabigtruckcomingrightatme,andIhadto.”

FALLINLOVEWITHTHECHALLENGEOFCHANGEANDWATCHTHEDESIRETOCHANGEGROW.

It iswhenwe“havetogetoutof thepotholesof life”thatwechange.Aslongaswehaveacceptableoptions,wewillnotchange.Thetruthisthat most people are more comfortable with old problems than newsolutions. They respond to their needs for a turnaround in life like theDukeofCambridge,whoonce said, “Any change, at any time, for anyreason, istobedeplored.”Peoplewhobelievethatnothingshouldeverbedoneforthefirsttimeneverseeanythingdone.

Peoplecanchange,andthat isthegreatestmotivationofall.Nothingsparks the firesofdesiremore than thesudden realization that youdonothavetostaythesame.Fallinlovewiththechallengeofchangeandwatch the desire to change grow. That’s what happened to AleidaHuissen, seventy-eight, of Rotterdam, Netherlands. She had been asmokerforfiftyyears,andforfiftyyearsshetriedtogiveupthehabit.Butshe was unsuccessful. Then Leo Jensen, seventy-nine, proposedmarriageandrefusedtogothroughwiththeweddinguntilAleidagaveupsmoking. Aleida says, “Willpower never was enough to get me off thehabit.Lovedidit.”

My life is dedicated to helping others reach their potential. I suggestthatyoufollowtheadviceofMarkTwain,whosaid,“Takeyourmindouteverynowandthenanddanceonit.Itisgettingallcakedup.”Itwashiswayofsaying,“Getoutofthatrut.”Toomanytimeswesettleintoasetwayof thinkingandaccept limitationsthatneednotbeplaceduponus.Embracechange,anditwillchangeyou.

CHOICE#5:LIVEONEDAYATATIME

Anypersoncanfightthebattleforjustoneday.ItisonlywhenyouandIadd theburdensof those twoawfuleternities,yesterdayand tomorrow,thatwe tremble. It is not the experiences of today that drive people todistraction; it is the remorse or bitterness for something that happenedyesterdayand the dreadofwhat tomorrowmaybring. Let us thereforelivebutonedayatatime—today!

CHOICE#6:CHANGEYOURTHOUGHTPATTERNS

Thatwhichholdsourattentiondeterminesouractions.Wearewhereweareandwhatwearebecauseofthedominatingthoughtsthatoccupyourminds. Take a look at this syllogism. It emphasizes the power of ourthoughtlife:

Majorpremise:Wecancontrolourthoughts.

Minorpremise:Ourfeelingscomefromourthoughts.

Conclusion:Wecancontrolourfeelingsbylearningtochangehowwethink.

It is thatsimple.Our feelingscome fromour thoughts.Therefore,wecanchangethembychangingourthoughtpatterns.

Our thought life, not our circumstances, determines our happiness.OftenIseepeoplewhoareconvincedthattheywillbehappywhentheyattainacertaingoal.Whentheyreachthegoal,manytimestheydonotfind the fulfillment they anticipated. The secret to staying on an evenkeel? Fill your mind with good thoughts. The apostle Paul advised,“Whateverthingsaretrue,whateverthingsarenoble...whateverthingsare of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything

praiseworthy—meditateonthesethings.”2Heunderstoodthat thethingsthatholdourattentiondetermineouraction.

CHOICE#7:DEVELOPGOODHABITS

An attitude is nothing more than a habit of thought. The process for

developinghabits—goodorbad—is thesame. It isaseasy to form thehabitofsucceedingasitistosuccumbtothehabitoffailure.

Habitsaren’tinstincts;they’reacquiredactionsorreactions.Theydon’tjust happen; they are caused. Once the original cause of a habit isdetermined, it is within your power to accept or reject it. Most peopleallow their habits to control them.When those habits are hurtful, theynegativelyimpacttheirattitudes.

The following steps will assist you in changing bad habits into goodones:

Step#1:Listyourbadhabits.

Step#2:Whatwastheoriginalcause?

Step#3:Whatarethesupportingcauses?

Step#4:Determineapositivehabittoreplacethebadone.

Step#5:Thinkaboutthegoodhabit,itsbenefitsandresults.

Step#6:Takeactiontodevelopthishabit.

Step#7:Dailyactuponthishabitforreinforcement.

Step#8:Rewardyourselfbynotingoneofthebenefitsfromyourgoodhabit.

CHOICE#8—CONTINUALLYCHOOSETOHAVEARIGHTATTITUDE

Onceyoumakethechoicetopossessagoodattitude,theworkhasonlyjust begun. After that comes a life of continually deciding to grow andmaintainingtherightoutlook.Attitudeshaveatendencytorevertbacktotheiroriginalpatternsiftheyarenotcarefullyguardedandcultivated.

Asyouworktoimproveyourattitudeortohelptheattitudeofsomeoneyoulead,recognizethattherearethreestagesofchangewhereapersonmustdeliberatelychoosetherightattitude:

EarlyStage:Thefirstfewdaysarealwaysthemostdifficult.Oldhabits

arehardtobreak.Youmustcontinuallybeonguardmentallytotaketherightaction.

Middle Stage: The moment good habits begin to take root, optionsopen that bring on new challenges. During this stage, new habits willform that can be good or bad. The good news is that the more rightchoicesandhabitsyoudevelop,themorelikelyothergoodhabitswillbeformed.

LaterStage:Inthelaterstage,complacencyistheenemy.Weallknowsomeone (perhaps us)who lostweight only to fall back into old eatinghabits and gain it back. Don’t let down your guard until the change iscomplete.Andeventhen,bevigilantandmakesureyoudon’tfallintooldnegativehabits.

Youaretheonlyonewhocandeterminewhatyouwill thinkandhowyouwillact.Andthatmeansyoucanmakeyourattitudewhatyouwantittobe.Butevenifyousucceedandbecomeapositiveperson,thatwon’tshieldyoufromnegativeexperiences.Howdoesapositivepersondealwithobstaclesandremainupbeat?To find theanswer to thatquestion,readthenextchapter.

5

CANOBSTACLESACTUALLYENHANCEANATTITUDE?

Thegreatestbattleyouwageagainstfailureoccursontheinside,nottheoutside.

Working artists David Bayles and TedOrland tell a story about an artteacherwhodidanexperimentwithhisgradingsystemfortwogroupsofstudents.Itisaparableonthebenefitsoffailure.Hereiswhathappened:

Theceramicsteacherannouncedonopeningdaythathewasdividingtheclassintotwogroups.All thoseon the leftsideof thestudio,hesaid,wouldbegradedsolelyon thequantityofworktheyproduced,allthoseontherightsolelyonitsquality.Hisprocedurewassimple:onthefinaldayofclasshewouldbringinhisbathroomscaleandweightheworkofthe“quantity”group:fiftypoundsofpotsratedan“A,”fortypoundsa“B,”andsoon.Thosebeinggradedon“quality,”however,neededtoproduceonlyonepot—albeitaperfect one—to get an “A.”Well, come grading time and a curious fact emerged: theworksofthehighestqualitywereallproducedbythegroupbeinggradedforquantity.Itseems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work—andlearningfromtheirmistakes—the“quality”grouphadsattheorizingaboutperfection,andintheendhadlittlemoretoshowfortheireffortsthangrandiosetheoriesandapileof

deadclay.1

It doesn’t matter whether your objectives are in the area of art,business, ministry, sports, or relationships. The only way you can getaheadistofailearly,failoften,andfailforward.

TAKETHEJOURNEY

I teach leadership to thousands of people each year at numerousconferences. And one of my greatest concerns is always that somepeoplewillgohomefromtheeventandnothingwillchangeintheirlives.

Theyenjoy the “show”but fail to implementanyof the ideas thatwerepresented to them. I tell people continually:Weoverestimate theeventandunderestimate theprocess.Everydreamthatanyonehasachievedcamebecauseof dedication toaprocess. (That’s oneof the reasons Iwrite booksand createaudioprograms—so that people canengage intheongoingprocessofgrowth.)

People naturally tend toward inertia. That’s why self-improvement issuchastruggle.Butthat’salsothereasonthatadversityliesattheheartofeverysuccess.Theprocessofachievementcomesthroughrepeatedfailuresandtheconstantstruggletoclimbtoahigherlevel.

INORDERTOACHIEVEYOURDREAMS,YOUMUSTEMBRACEADVERSITYANDMAKEFAILUREAREGULARPARTOFYOURLIFE.IFYOU’RENOTFAILING,YOU’REPROBABLYNOTREALLYMOVINGFORWARD.

When it comes to facing failure,mostpeoplewillgrudginglyconcedethat any person must make it through some adversity in order tosucceed.They’llacknowledgethatyouhavetoexperiencetheoccasionalsetbacktomakeprogress.But Ibelievethatsuccesscomesonly ifyoutakethatthoughtonestepfurther.Inordertoachieveyourdreams,youmust embrace adversity andmake failure a regular part of your life. Ifyou’renotfailing,you’reprobablynotreallymovingforward.

THEBENEFITSOFADVERSITY

Psychologist Dr. Joyce Brothers asserts, “The person interested insuccesshas to learn to view failureasahealthy, inevitablepart of theprocessofgettingtothetop.”Adversityandthefailurethatoftenresultsfrom it shouldnot onlybeexpected in theprocessof succeeding; theyneedtobeviewedasanabsolutelycriticalpartofit.Infact,thebenefitsof adversity are many. Take a look at some of the key reasons toembraceadversityandperseverethroughit:

1.ADVERSITYCREATESRESILIENCE

Nothing in life breeds resilience like adversity and failure. A study inTimemagazineinthemid-1980sdescribedtheincredibleresilienceofagroup of people who had lost their jobs three times because of plantclosings.Psychologistsexpectedthemtobediscouraged,buttheyweresurprisinglyoptimistic.Theiradversityhadactuallycreatedanadvantage.Becausetheyhadalreadylostajobandfoundanewoneatleasttwice,theywerebetterabletohandleadversitythanpeoplewhohadworkedfor

onlyonecompanyandfoundthemselvesunemployed.2

2.ADVERSITYDEVELOPSMATURITY

Adversitycanmakeyoubetterifyoudon’tletitmakeyoubitter.Why?Because it promotes wisdom and maturity. American novelist WilliamSaroyansaid,“Goodpeoplearegoodbecausethey’vecometowisdomthroughfailure.Wegetverylittlewisdomfromsuccess,youknow.”

As theworldcontinues tochangeata fasterand faster rate,maturitywithflexibilitybecomesincreasinglyimportant.Thosequalitiescomefromweathering difficulties. Harvard business school professor John Kottersays, “I can imagine a group of executives 20 years ago discussing acandidate fora top jobandsaying, ‘Thisguyhadabig failurewhenhewas 32.’ Everyone elsewould say, ‘Yep, yep, that’s a bad sign.’ I canimagine that same group considering a candidate today and saying,

‘Whatworriesmeaboutthisguyisthathe’sneverfailed.’”3Theproblemswefaceandovercomeprepareusforfuturedifficulties.

3.ADVERSITYPUSHESTHEENVELOPEOFACCEPTEDPERFORMANCE

LloydOgilviesays thata friendofhis,whowasacircusperformer inhisyouth,describedhisexperienceoflearningtoworkonthetrapezeasfollows:

Onceyouknow that thenetbelowwillcatchyou,youstopworryingabout falling.Youactuallylearntofallsuccessfully!Whatthatmeansis,youcanconcentrateoncatchingthetrapezeswingingtowardyou,andnotonfalling,becauserepeatedfalls in thepast

haveconvincedyouthatthenetisstrongandreliablewhenyoudofall...Theresultoffallingandbeingcaughtbythenetisamysteriousconfidenceanddaringonthetrapeze.

Youfallless.Eachfallmakesyouabletoriskmore.4

Untilapersonlearnsfrompersonalexperiencethathecanlivethroughadversity,heisreluctanttobuckmindlesstradition,pushtheenvelopeoforganizational performance, or challenge himself to press his physicallimits.Failurehelpspromptpeopletorethinkthestatusquo.

4.ADVERSITYPROVIDESGREATEROPPORTUNITIES

Ibelievethateliminatingproblemslimitsourpotential.Justabouteverysuccessfulentrepreneur I’vemethasnumerousstoriesofadversityandsetbacksthatopeneddoorstogreateropportunity.Forexample,in1978BernieMarcus,thesonofapoorRussiancabinetmakerinNewark,NewJersey, was fired from Handy Dan, a do-it-yourself hardware retailer.That prompted Marcus to team with Arthur Blank to start their ownbusiness.In1979,theyopenedtheirfirststoreinAtlanta,Georgia.Itwascalled Home Depot. Today, Home Depot has more than 760 storesemployingmorethan157,000people;theyhaveexpandedthebusinessto include overseas operations; and each year they domore than $30billioninsales.

I’msureBernieMarcuswasn’tveryhappyaboutgettingfiredfromhisjob back atHandyDan.But if he hadn’t been,who knowswhether hewouldhaveachievedthesuccesshehastoday.

5.ADVERSITYPROMPTSINNOVATION

Earlyinthetwentiethcentury,aboywhosefamilyhademigratedfromSweden to Illinois sent twenty-five cents to a publisher for a book onphotography. What he received instead was a book on ventriloquism.Whatdidhedo?Headaptedand learnedventriloquism.HewasEdgarBergen,andforover fortyyearsheentertainedaudienceswith thehelp

ofawoodendummynamedCharlieMcCarthy.

Theabilitytoinnovateisattheheartofcreativity—avitalcomponentinsuccess. University of Houston professor JackMatson recognized thatfact and developed a course that his students call “Failure 101.” In it,Matsonhasstudentsbuildmock-upsofproductsthatnoonewouldeverbuy.Hisgoal istogetstudentstoequatefailurewith innovationinsteadof defeat. That way they will free themselves to try new things. “Theylearntoreloadandgetreadytoshootagain,”saysMatson.Ifyouwanttosucceed,youhavetolearntomakeadjustmentstothewayyoudothingsandtryagain.Adversityhelpstodevelopthatability.

6.ADVERSITYBRINGSUNEXPECTEDBENEFITS

Theaveragepersonmakesamistake,andautomaticallythinksthatit’safailure.Butsomeofthegreateststoriesofsuccesscanbefoundintheunexpectedbenefitsofmistakes.Forexample,mostpeopleare familiarwith the story of Edison and the phonograph: He discovered it whiletrying to invent somethingentirely different.But did youalso know thatKellogg’sCornFlakes resultedwhen boiledwheatwas left in a bakingpanovernight?OrthatIvorysoapfloatsbecauseabatchwasleftinthemixer too long and had a large volume of air whipped into it? Or thatScottTowelswere launchedwhena toiletpapermachineput toomanylayersoftissuetogether?

“INSCIENCE,MISTAKESALWAYSPRECEDETHETRUTH.”—HORACEWALPOLE

Horace Walpole said that “in science, mistakes always precede thetruth.” That’s what happened to German-Swiss chemist ChristianFriedrichSchönbein.Onedayhewasworkinginthekitchen—whichhiswifehadstrictlyforbidden—andwasexperimentingwithsulfuricandnitricacid.When he accidentally spilled some of themixture on the kitchentable, he thought he was in trouble. (He knew he would experience“adversity”whenhiswife foundout!)Hehurriedlysnatchedupacotton

apron,wipedupthemess,andhungtheapronbythefiretodry.

Suddenly therewasaviolentexplosion.Evidently thecellulose in thecottonunderwentaprocesscalled“nitration.”Unwittingly,Schönbeinhadinventednitrocellulose—whatcametobecalledsmokelessgunpowderorgun-cotton.Hewentontomarkethisinvention,whichmadehimalotofmoney.

7.ADVERSITYMOTIVATES

YearsagowhenBearBryantwascoachingtheUniversityofAlabama’sfootballteam,theCrimsonTidewasaheadbyonlysixpointsinagamewithlessthantwominutesremaininginthefourthquarter.Bryantsenthisquarterbackintothegamewithinstructionstoplayitsafeandrunouttheclock.

In the huddle, the quarterback said, “Coach says to play it safe, butthat’swhatthey’reexpecting.Let’sgivethemasurprise.”Andwiththat,hecalledapassplay.

Whenthequarterbackdroppedbackandthrewthepass,thedefendingcornerback, who was a champion sprinter, intercepted the ball andheaded for the end zone expecting to score a touchdown. Thequarterback, who was not known as a good runner, took off after thecornerbackandranhimdownfrombehind,tacklinghimonthefive-yardline.Itsavedthegame.

After the clock ran out, the opposing coach approachedBearBryantand said, “What’s this business about your quarterback not being arunner?Herandownmyspeedsterfrombehind!”

Bryantresponded,“Yourmanwasrunningforsixpoints.Mymanwasrunningforhislife.”

Nothing can motivate a person like adversity. Olympic diver PatMcCormicksaid, “I think failure isoneof thegreatmotivators.Aftermynarrowlossinthe1948trials,IknewhowreallygoodIcouldbe.Itwas

thedefeat that focusedallmyconcentrationonmy trainingandgoals.”McCormickwenton towin twogoldmedals in theOlympics inLondonthatyearandanothertwoinHelsinkifouryearslater.

Ifyoucanstepbackfromthenegativecircumstancesyoufaceinlife,you will be able to discover that there are positive benefits to yournegativeexperiences.Thatisalmostalwaystrue;yousimplyhavetobewillingtolookforthem—andnottaketheadversityyouareexperiencingtoopersonally.

Soifyouloseyourjob,thinkabouttheresilienceyou’redeveloping.Ifyoutrysomethingdaringandsurvive,thinkaboutwhatyoulearnedaboutyourself—andhowitwillhelpyoutakeonnewchallenges.Ifarestaurantgetsyourorderwrong,figureoutifit’sanopportunitytolearnanewskill.And ifyouexperiencea trainwreck inyourcareer, thinkof thematurityit’sdevelopinginyou.Besides,BillVaughansays,“Inthegameoflifeit’sa good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of thepressureof trying tomaintainanundefeated season.”Alwaysmeasureanobstaclenexttothesizeofthedreamyou’repursuing.It’sall inhowyoulookatit.Try,andyoucanfindthegoodineverybadexperience.

WHATCOULDBEWORSE?

One of themost incredible stories of adversity overcome and successgainedisthatofJosephoftheancientHebrews.Youmaybefamiliarwiththestory.Hewasborn theeleventhof twelvesons inawealthyMiddleEasternfamilywhosetradewasraisinglivestock.Asateenager,Josephalienatedhisbrothers:First,hewashisfather’sfavorite,eventhoughhewasnearlytheyoungest.Second,heusedtotellhisfatheranytimehisbrothersweren’tdoing theirworkproperlywith thesheep.And third,hemadethemistakeoftellinghisolderbrothersthatonedayhewouldbeinchargeofthem.Atfirstagroupofhisbrotherswantedtokillhim,buttheeldest,Reuben,preventedthemfromdoingthat.SowhenReubenwasn’taround,theotherssoldhimintoslavery.

Josephendedup inEgyptworking in thehouseof thecaptainof theguard, a man named Potiphar. Because of his leadership and

administrativeskill,Josephquicklyroseintheranks,andbeforelong,hewas running the entire household. He was making the best of a badsituation. But then things got worse. The wife of his master tried topersuadehim tosleepwithher.Whenhe refused, sheaccusedhimofmakingadvancestowardher,andgotPotiphartothrowJosephinprison.

FROMSLAVERYTOPRISON

At thatpointJosephwas inaboutasdifficultapositionashecouldbe.Hewasseparated fromhis family.Hewas livingaway fromhome inaforeignland.Hewasaslave.Andhewasinprison.Butagain,hemadethebestofa toughsituation.Before long, thewardenof theprisonputJosephinchargeofalltheprisonersandalltheprison’sdailyactivities.

While inprison,Josephgotthechancetomeetafellowprisonerwhohad been an official from Pharaoh’s court, the chief cupbearer. AndJosephwasabletodohimafavorbyinterpretingadreamthemanhad.Whenhesawthattheofficialwasgrateful,Josephmadearequestofhiminreturn.

“Whenallgoeswellwithyou,”Josephasked,“remembermeandshowmekindness;mentionmetoPharaohandgetmeoutofthisprison.ForIwas forcibly carried off from the land of theHebrews, and even here I

havedonenothingtodeservebeingputinadungeon.”5

Josephhadgreathopeafewdayslaterwhentheofficialwasreturnedtocourtandthegoodgracesofthemonarch.Heexpectedanyminutetoreceive word that Pharaoh was setting him free. But he waited. Andwaited. Two years passed before the cupbearer remembered Joseph,andhedidsoonlybecausePharaohwantedsomeonetointerpretoneofhisdreams.

FINALLY...THEPAYOFF

Intheend,JosephwasabletointerpretPharaoh’sdreams.Andbecause

theHebrewshowedsuchgreatwisdom,theEgyptianrulerputJosephincharge of the entire kingdom. As the result of Joseph’s leadership,planning, and system of food storage, when famine struck the MiddleEastsevenyearslater,manythousandsofpeoplewhootherwisewouldhavediedwereabletosurvive—includingJoseph’sownfamily.Whenhisbrothers traveled toEgypt for relief fromthe famine—twentyyearsafterselling him into slavery—theydiscovered that their brother Josephwasnotonlyalive,butsecondincommandof themostpowerfulkingdomintheworld.

Fewpeoplewouldwelcometheadversityofthirteenyearsinbondageasaslaveandprisoner.Butas farasweknow,Josephnevergaveuphopeandneverlosthisperspective.Nordidheholdagrudgeagainsthisbrothers.Aftertheirfatherdied,hetoldthem,“Youintendedtoharmme,butGodintendeditforgoodtoaccomplishwhatisnowbeingdone,thesavingofmanylives.”

Josephfoundthepositivebenefits inhisnegativeexperiences.Andifhecandoit,socanwe.Tohelpyoudothat,youneedtotakethenextstepwhenitcomestoattitude.Youhavetobeabletodealpositivelywithfailure.

PART111

THEFUTUREWITHTHERIGHTATTITUDE

6

WHATISFAILURE?

Everysuccessfulpersonissomeonewhofailed,yetneverregardedhimselfasafailure.

In an interview years ago David Brinkley asked advice columnist AnnLanderswhat question shemost frequently received from readers.Heranswer:“What’swrongwithme?”

Landers’s response reveals a lot about human nature. Many peoplewrestle with feelings of failure, the most damaging being doubtfulthoughtsabout themselves.At theheartof thosedoubtsandfeelings isone central question: Am I a failure? And that’s a problem because Ibelieveit’snearlyimpossibleforanypersontobelieveheisafailureandsucceedatthesametime.Instead,youhavetomeetfailurewiththerightattitudeanddeterminetofailforward.

It seems that advice columnists (such as the late Ann Landers) andhumor writers recognize that keeping a good attitude about yourself isimportant to overcoming adversity and mistakes. The late ErmaBombeck,whowrote awidely syndicatedweekly humor columnuntil afewweeksbeforeherdeathin1996,hadafirmgrasponwhatitmeanttopersevereandfailforwardwithouttakingfailuretoopersonally.

FROMNEWSPAPERCOPYGIRLTOTIMEMAGAZINECOVERGIRL

ErmaBombecktraveledaroadthatwasfilledwithadversity,startingwithhercareer.Shewasdrawntojournalismearlyinlife.Herfirstjobwasasacopygirlat theDaytonJournalHeraldwhenshewasa teenager.But

when shewent off to college atOhioUniversity, a guidance counseloradvisedher,“Forgetaboutwriting.”Sherefused.LatershetransferredtotheUniversityofDaytonandin1949graduatedwithadegreeinEnglish.Soonafterwardshebeganworkingasawriter—for theobituarycolumnandthewomen’spage.

That yearadversity carriedover intoherpersonal life.Whenshegotmarried,oneofherdeepestdesireswastobecomeamother.Butmuchtoherdismay,herdoctorstoldhershewasincapableofhavingchildren.Didshegiveupandconsiderherselfafailure?No,sheandherhusbandexploredthepossibilityofadoption,andthentheyadoptedadaughter.

Two years later, a surprised Erma became pregnant. But even thatbrought her more difficulties. In four years she experienced fourpregnancies,butonlytwoofthebabiessurvived.

In1964Ermawasabletoconvincetheeditorofasmallneighborhoodnewspaper, the Kettering-Oakwood Times, to let her write a weeklyhumorcolumn.Despite thepitiful$3perarticleshewaspaid,shekeptwriting.And thatopenedadoor forher.Thenextyearshewasofferedthe opportunity to write a three-times-a-week column for her oldemployer, the Dayton Journal-Herald. By 1967 her column wassyndicatedandcarriedbymorethanninehundrednewspapers.

For slightly more than thirty years Erma wrote her humor column.During that timeshepublished fifteenbooks,wasrecognizedasoneofthe twenty-fivemost influentialwomen inAmerica, appeared frequentlyonthetelevisionshowGoodMorningAmerica,wasfeaturedonthecoverofTimemagazine,received innumerablehonors(suchas theAmericanCancer Society’s Medal of Honor), and was awarded fifteen honorarydegrees.

MORETHANHERSHAREOFPROBLEMS

Butduringthatspanoftime,ErmaBombeckalsoexperiencedincredibletroubles and trials, including breast cancer, a mastectomy, and kidneyfailure. And she wasn’t shy about sharing her perspective on her life

experiences:

Ispeakatcollegecommencements,and I telleveryone I’mup thereand they’redownthere,notbecauseofmysuccesses,butmyfailures.ThenIproceedtospinallofthemoff—acomedyrecordalbumthatsoldtwocopiesinBeirut...asitcomthatlastedaboutaslongasadonutinourhouse...aBroadwayplaythatneversawBroadway...booksigningswhere Iattracted twopeople:onewhowanteddirections to the restroomandtheotherwhowantedtobuythedesk.

Whatyouhavetotellyourselfis,“I’mnotafailure.Ifailedatdoingsomething.”There’sabig difference . . . Personally and career-wise, it’s been a corduroy road. I’ve buriedbabies, lost parents, had cancer, and worried over kids. The trick is to put it all in

perspective...andthat’swhatIdoforaliving.1

ThatwinningattitudekeptErmaBombeckdowntoearth.(Shelikedtorefer to herself as “a former homeroommother and obituarywriter.”) Italsokepthergoing—andwriting—throughthedisappointments,thepain,thesurgeries,and thedailykidneydialysisuntil herdeathatagesixty-nine.

EVERYGENIUSCOULDHAVEBEENA“FAILURE”

Every successful person is someone who failed, yet never regardedhimselfasafailure.Forexample,WolfgangMozart,oneofthegeniusesofmusical composition, was told by Emperor Ferdinand that his operaTheMarriageofFigarowas“far toonoisy”andcontained“far toomanynotes.”ArtistVincentvanGogh,whosepaintingsnowsetrecordsforthesumstheybringatauction,soldonlyonepaintinginhislifetime.ThomasEdison,themostprolificinventorinhistory,wasconsideredunteachableasayoungster.AndAlbertEinstein,thegreatestthinkerofourtime,wastoldbyaMunichschoolmasterthathewould“neveramounttomuch.”

I think it’s safe to say that all great achievers are given multiplereasons to believe they are failures. But in spite of that, they remainpositive and they persevere. In the face of adversity, rejection, andfailings, they continue believing in themselves and refuse to considerthemselves failures. They chose to develop the right attitude aboutfailure.

FAILINGFORWARDISNOTFALSESELF-ESTEEM

Iplacehighvalueonpraisingpeople,especiallychildren.Infact,Ibelievethatpeopleliveuptoyourlevelofexpectation.ButIalsobelievethatyouhavetobaseyourpraiseontruth.Youdon’tmakeupnicethingstosayaboutothers.Here’stheapproachIusetoencourageandleadothers:

Valuepeople.

Praiseeffort.

Rewardperformance.

I use that method with everyone. I even use a form of it with myself.When I’m working, I don’t give myself a reward until after the job isfinished.WhenIapproachataskorproject,Igiveitmyverybest,andnomatterwhattheresultsare,Ihaveaclearconscience.Ihavenoproblemsleeping at night. And no matter where I fail or how many mistakes Imake, Idon’t let it devaluemyworthasaperson.As thesayinggoes,“Godusespeoplewhofail—’causetherearen’tanyotherkindaround.”

It is possible to cultivate a positive attitudeabout yourself, nomatterwhatcircumstancesyoufindyourselfinorwhatkindofhistoryyouhave.

SEVENABILITIESNEEDEDTOFAILFORWARD

Herearesevenabilitiesofachieversthatenablethemtofail,nottakeitpersonally,andkeepmovingforward:

1.REJECTREJECTION

Author James Allen states, “A man is literally what he thinks, hischaracter being the complete sum of all his thought.” That’s why it’simportanttomakesureyourthinkingisontherighttrack.

People who don’t give up keep trying because they don’t base theirself-worth on their performance. Instead, they havean internally based

self-image. Rather than say, “I am a failure,” they say, “I missed thatone,”or“Imadeamistake.”

PsychologistMartinE.Seligmanbelieveswehave twochoiceswhenwefail:Wecaninternalizeorexternalizeourfailure.“Peoplewhoblamethemselves when they fail . . . think they are worthless, talentless,unlovable,” says Seligman. “People who blame external events do not

loseself-esteemwhenbadeventsstrike.”2Tokeeptherightperspective,takeresponsibilityforyouractions,butdon’ttakefailurepersonally.

2.SEEFAILUREASTEMPORARY

People who personalize failure see a problem as a hole they’repermanentlystuckin.Butachieversseeanypredicamentastemporary.Forexample,takethecaseofUnitedStatesPresidentHarryS.Truman.In1922hewasthirty-eightyearsold,indebt,andoutofwork.In1945hewas themost powerful leader of the free world, occupying the highestoffice in the land. If he had seen failure as permanent, hewould haveremained stuck and never would have kept trying and believing in hispotential.

3.SEEFAILURESASISOLATEDINCIDENTS

Author Leo Buscaglia once talked about his admiration for cookingexpertJuliaChild:“Ijustloveherattitude.Shesays,‘Tonightwe’regoingtomakea soufflé!’And shebeats this andwhisks that, and shedropsthingsonthefloor...anddoesallthesewonderfulhumanthings.Thenshe takes the soufflé and throws it in the oven and talks to you for awhile.Finally,shesays, ‘Nowit’sready!’Butwhensheopenstheoven,thesoufflé just falls flatasapancake.Butdoesshepanicorburst intotears? No! She smiles and says, ‘Well, you can’t win them all. Bonappetit!’”

Whenachievers fail, theysee itasamomentaryevent,nota lifelongepidemic. It’snotpersonal. If youwant to succeed,don’t let anysingleincidentcoloryourviewofyourself.

4.KEEPEXPECTATIONSREALISTIC

The greater the feat you desire to achieve, the greater the mentalpreparationrequiredforovercomingobstaclesandperseveringover thelong haul. If you want to take a stroll in your neighborhood, you canreasonablyexpecttohavefew,ifany,problems.Butthat’snotthecaseifyouintendtoclimbMountEverest.

Ittakestime,effort,andtheabilitytoovercomesetbacks.Youhavetoapproach each day with reasonable expectations and not get yourfeelingshurtwheneverythingdoesn’tturnoutperfectly.

Somethingthathappenedonbaseball’sopeningdayin1954illustratesthe point well. The Milwaukee Braves and the Cincinnati Reds playedeach other, and a rookie for each teammade his major-league debutduring thatgame.The rookiewhoplayed for theRedshit fourdoublesandhelpedhis teamwinwithascoreof9-8.Therookie for theBraveswent0for5.TheRedsplayerwasJimGreengrass,anameyouprobablyhaven’theard.Theotherguy,whodidn’tgetahit,mightbemorefamiliarto you. His name was Hank Aaron, the player who became the besthome-runhitterinthehistoryofbaseball.

If Aaron’s expectations for that first game had been unrealistic, whoknows?Hemighthavegivenupbaseball.Surelyhewasn’thappyabouthisperformance thatday,buthedidn’t thinkofhimselfasa failure.Hehadworkedtoohardfortoolong.Hewasn’tabouttogiveupeasily.

5.FOCUSONSTRENGTHS

Anotherway achievers keep themselves frompersonalizing failure isbyfocusingontheirstrengths.BobButera, formerpresidentof theNew

Jersey Devils hockey team, was asked what makes a winner. Heanswered, “What distinguishes winners from losers is that winnersconcentrateatalltimesonwhattheycando,notonwhattheycan’tdo.Ifaguyisagreatshooterbutnotagreatskater,wetellhimtothinkonlyabout the shot, the shot, the shot—never about some other guyoutskatinghim.Theideaistorememberyoursuccesses.”

Ifaweaknessisamatterofcharacter,itneedsmuchattention.Focuson it until you shore it up.Otherwise, thebest bet for failing forward isdevelopingandmaximizingyourstrengths.

6.VARYAPPROACHESTOACHIEVEMENT

In The Psychology of Achievement, Brian Tracy writes about fourmillionaires who made their fortunes by age thirty-five. They wereinvolved inanaverageof seventeenbusinessesbefore finding theonethattookthemtothetop.Theykepttryingandchanginguntiltheyfoundsomethingthatworkedforthem.

Achievers are willing to vary their approaches to problems. That’simportantineverywalkoflife,notjustbusiness.Forexample,ifyou’reafan of track-and-field events, you have undoubtedly enjoyed watchingathletes compete in the high jump. I’m always amazed by the heightsachievedbythemenandwomeninthatevent.What’sreally interestingisthatinthe1960s,thesportwentthroughamajorchangeintechniquethatallowedathletestobreaktheoldrecordsandpushthemuptonewlevels.

The person responsible for that change was Dick Fosbury. Wherepreviousathletesused thestraddlemethod tohigh jump, inwhich theywent over the bar while facing it, with one arm and one leg leading,Fosbury developed a technique where he went over headfirst with hisbacktothebar.ItwasdubbedtheFosburyFlop.

Developing a new high-jump technique was one thing. Getting it

accepted by otherswas anothermatter. Fosbury remarked, “Iwas toldover and over again that I would never be successful, that I was notgoingtobecompetitiveandthetechniquewassimplynotgoingtowork.AllIcoulddowasshrugandsay,‘We’lljusthavetosee.’”

Andpeopledid see.Fosburywon thegoldmedal in theMexicoCityOlympics in1968,shattering thepreviousOlympic recordandsettinganewworldrecord in theprocess.Since then,nearlyallworld-classhighjumpershaveusedhis technique.Toachievehisgoals,Fosburyvariedhis approach to high jumping, and he kept a positive attitude by notallowingothers’commentstomakehimfeellikeafailure.

7.BOUNCEBACK

Allachievershaveincommontheabilitytobouncebackafteranerror,mistake,orfailure.PsychologistSimoneCarutherssays,“Lifeisaseriesof outcomes. Sometimes the outcome is what youwant.Great. Figureoutwhatyoudid right.Sometimes theoutcome iswhatyoudon’twant.

Great. Figure out what you did so you don’t do it again.”3The key tobouncingbackisfoundinyourattitudetowardtheoutcome.

Achieversareable to keepmoving forwardnomatterwhathappens.And that’smadepossiblebecause they remember that failuredoesnotmake them failures.Nooneshouldtakemistakespersonally.That’sthebest way to pick yourself up after failure and continue with a positiveattitude.Onceyoudo that, you’re ready forsuccess,whichhappens tobethesubjectofthenextchapter.

7

WHATISSUCCESS?

Attitudedetermineshowfaryoucangoonthesuccessjourney.

Doyouwanttobesuccessful?Theproblemformostpeoplewhowanttobesuccessful isnot thattheycan’tachievesuccess.Themainobstaclefor them is that theymisunderstandsuccess.Theydon’t have the rightattitude about it. Maltbie D. Babcock said, “One of the most commonmistakesandoneofthecostliestisthinkingthatsuccessisduetosomegenius,somemagic,somethingorotherwhichwedonotpossess.”

What issuccess?Whatdoes it look like?Mostpeoplehaveavaguepictureofwhatitmeanstobeasuccessfulpersonthatlookssomethinglikethis:

ThewealthofBillGates,thephysiqueofArnoldSchwarzenegger,

(orTyraBanks),theintelligenceofAlbertEinstein,

theathleticabilityofMichaelJordan,thebusinessprowessofDonaldTrump,

thesocialgraceandpoiseofJackieKennedy,theimaginationofWaltDisney,and

theheartofMotherTeresa.

That soundsabsurd,but it’s closer to the truth thanwewould like toadmit.Many of us picture success as looking like someone other thanwhoweare.That’sthewrongwaytothinkaboutit.Ifyoutriedtobecomejustlikeevenoneoftheseotherpeople,youwouldn’tbesuccessful.Youwouldbeabadimitationofthem,andyouwouldeliminatethepossibilityofbecomingthepersonyouweremeanttobe.

THEWRONGATTITUDEABOUT

THEWRONGATTITUDEABOUTSUCCESS

Evenifyouavoidthetrapofthinkingthatsuccessmeansbeinglikesomeotherperson,youmightstillhaveawrongattitudetowardsuccess.Manypeoplewronglyequateitwithachievementofsomesort,witharrivingatadestination or attaining a goal. Here are several of the most commonmisconceptionsaboutsuccess:

WEALTH

Probablythemostcommonmisunderstandingaboutsuccessisthatit’sthe same as having money. A lot of people believe that if theyaccumulatewealth,theywillbesuccessful.Butwealthdoesn’teliminatecurrentproblems,andit introducesmanynewones.Ifyoudon’tbelievethat, look at the lives of lottery winners. Wealth does not bringcontentmentorsuccess.

ASPECIALFEELING

Anothercommonmisconceptionisthatpeoplehaveachievedsuccesswhen they feel successful or happy. But trying to feel successful isprobablyevenmoredifficultthantryingtobecomewealthy.Thecontinualsearch for happiness is a primary reason that so many people aremiserable. If you make happiness your goal, you are almost certainlydestined to fail.Youwillbeonacontinual rollercoaster,changing fromsuccessful to unsuccessful with every mood change. Life is uncertain,andemotionsaren’tstable.Happinesssimplycannotberelieduponasameasureofsuccess.

SPECIFICANDWORTHWHILEPOSSESSIONS

Thinkbacktowhenyouwereakid.Chancesarethattherewasatimewhen you wanted something badly, and you believed that if youpossessed that thing, itwouldmakeasignificantdifference inyour life.WhenIwasnineyearsold,itwasaburgundy-and-silverSchwinnbicycle,whichIreceivedforChristmas.ButIsoondiscoveredthat itdidn’tbringmethesuccessorlong-termcontentmentthatIhopedforandexpected.

Thatprocesshasrepeateditself inmylife.Ifoundthatsuccessdidn’tcomewhenIbecameastarteronmyhighschoolbasketballteam,whenIbecamethestudentbodypresidentincollege,orwhenIboughtmyfirsthouse. It has never come as the result of possessing something Iwanted. Possessions are at best a temporary fix. Success cannot beattainedormeasuredthatway.

POWER

Charles McElroy once joked, “Power is usually recognized as anexcellent short-term antidepressant.” That statement contains a lot oftruth because power often gives the appearance of success, but eventhen,it’sonlytemporary.

You’ve probably heard before the quote from English historian LordActon:“Powertendstocorruptandabsolutepowercorruptsabsolutely.”AbrahamLincolnechoed that beliefwhenhe said, “Nearly allmencanstand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give himpower.”Power really isa testofcharacter. In thehandsofapersonofintegrity, it is of tremendousbenefit; in thehandsof a tyrant, it causesterribledestruction.Byitself,powerisneitherpositivenornegative.Anditis not the source of security or success. Besides, all dictators—evenbenevolentones—eventuallylosepower.

ACHIEVEMENT

ManypeoplehavewhatIcall“destinationdisease.”Theybelievethatiftheycanarrivesomewhere—attainaposition,accomplishagoal,orhave

arelationshipwiththerightperson—theywillbesuccessful.AtonetimeIhadasimilarviewofsuccess.Idefineditastheprogressiverealizationofa predetermined worthwhile goal. But over time I realized that thedefinitionfellshortofthemark.Successisn’talistofgoalstobecheckedoff one after another. It’s not reaching a destination. Success is ajourney.

THERIGHTATTITUDEABOUTSUCCESS

Ifsuccessisajourney,howdoyougetstarted?Whatdoesittaketobesuccessful? Two things are required: the right attitude toward successandtherightprinciplesforgettingthere.Onceyouredefinesuccessasajourney,youcanmaintaintherightattitudetoward it.Thenyou’rereadytostarttheprocess.Theresultsmaybeasuniqueaseachindividual,buttheprocessisthesameforeveryone.Hereismydefinitionofsuccess:

Successis...Knowingyourpurposeinlife,Growingtoreachyourmaximumpotential,andSowingseedsthatbenefitothers.

When you think of success in thisway, you can seewhy itmust beseenasajourneyratherthanadestination.Nomatterhowlongyouliveorwhat youdecide to do in life, as longas youhave the right attitudeabout it, you will never exhaust your capacity to grow toward yourpotential or run out of opportunities to help others. When you seesuccessasajourney,you’llneverhavetheproblemoftryingto“arrive”atan elusive final destination. And you’ll never find yourself in a positionwhere you have accomplished some final goal, only to discover thatyou’restillunfulfilledandsearchingforsomethingelsetodo.

Togetabetterhandleontheseaspectsofsuccess,let’stakealookateachoneofthem:

KNOWINGYOURPURPOSE

Nothing can take the place of knowing your purpose. MillionaireindustrialistHenryJ.Kaiser, the founderofKaiserAluminumaswellasthe Kaiser-Permanente health care system, said, “The evidence isoverwhelmingthatyoucannotbegintoachieveyourbestunlessyousetsomeaiminlife.”Orputanotherway,ifyoudon’ttryactivelytodiscoveryourpurpose,you’relikelytospendyourlifedoingthewrongthings.

I believe thatGod created every person for a purpose. According topsychologist Viktor Frankl, “Everyone has his own specific vocation ormission in life. Everyone must carry out a concrete assignment thatdemands fulfillment.Thereinhecannotbe replaced,nor canhis lifeberepeated.Thuseveryone’staskisasuniqueashisspecificopportunitytoimplementit.”Eachofushasapurposeforwhichwewerecreated.Ourresponsibility—andourgreatestjoy—istoidentifyit.

Here are some questions to ask yourself to help you identify yourpurpose:

ForwhatamIsearching?Allofushaveastrongdesireburiedinourhearts, something that speaks to our deepest thoughts and feelings,somethingthatsetsoursoulsonfire.Youonlyneedtofindit.

Whywas I created?Eachofus isdifferent.Thinkabout youruniquemixofabilities,theresourcesavailabletoyou,yourpersonalhistory,andtheopportunitiesaroundyou.Ifyouobjectivelyidentifythesefactorsanddiscover the desire of your heart, you will have done a lot towarddiscoveringyourpurposeinlife.

Do I believe in my potential? If you don’t believe that you havepotential, you will never try to reach it. You should take the advice ofPresident TheodoreRoosevelt,who said, “Dowhat you can,withwhatyouhave,whereyouare.”Ifyoudothatwithyoureyesfixedonyourlifepurpose,whatelsecanbeexpectedofyou?

WhendoIstart?TheanswertothatquestionisNOW.

GROWINGTOYOURPOTENTIAL

NovelistH.G.Wellsheldthatwealth,notoriety,place,andpowerarenomeasuresofsuccesswhatsoever.Theonly truemeasureofsuccess istheratiobetweenwhatwemighthavebeenandwhatwehavebecome.Inotherwords,successcomesastheresultofgrowingtoourpotential.

We have nearly limitless potential, yet too few ever try to reach it.Why? The answer lies in this: We can do anything, but we can’t doeverything.Manypeople leteveryonearound themdecide theiragendainlife.Asaresult,theyneverreallydedicatethemselvestotheirpurposein life.Theybecomea jack-of-all-trades,masterofnone—rather thanajack-of-few-trades,focusedonone.

If that describes you more than you’d like, you’re probably ready totakestepstomakeachange.Herearefourprinciplestoputyouontheroadtogrowingtowardyourpotential:

1.CONCENTRATEONONEMAINGOAL.

Nobody ever reached her potential by scattering herself in twentydirections.Reachingyourpotentialrequiresfocus.

2.CONCENTRATEONCONTINUALIMPROVEMENT.

DavidD.Glass,chairmanoftheexecutivecommitteeoftheWal-Martboardofdirectors,wasonceaskedwhomheadmiredmost.HisanswerwasWal-MartfounderSamWalton.Heremarked,“There’sneverbeenadayinhislife,sinceI’veknownhim,thathedidn’timproveinsomeway.”Commitment to continual improvement is the key to reaching yourpotentialandtobeingsuccessful.

3.FORGETTHEPAST.

My friend Jack Hayford, pastor of Church on theWay in Van Nuys,California,commented,“Thepastisadeadissue,andwecan’tgainanymomentummovingtowardtomorrowifwearedraggingthepastbehindus.”

Ifyouneedinspiration,thinkofotherpeoplewhoovercameseeminglyinsurmountableobstacles,suchasBookerT.Washington,HelenKeller,andFranklinDelanoRoosevelt.Eachofthemovercameincredibleoddstoachievegreat things.Andremember,nomatterwhatyou’ve faced inthepast,youhavethepotentialtoovercomeit.

4.FOCUSONTHEFUTURE.

BaseballHall of FamerYogiBerra declared, “The future isn’twhat itusedtobe.”Althoughthatmaybetrue,it’sstilltheonlyplacewehavetogo. Your potential lies ahead of you—whether you’re eight, eighteen,forty-eight, or eighty. You still have room to improve yourself. You canbecome better tomorrow than you are today. As the Spanish proverbsays,“Hewhodoesnotlookaheadremainsbehind.”

SOWINGSEEDSTHATBENEFITOTHERS

When you know your purpose in life and are growing to reach yourmaximumpotential,you’rewellonyourwaytobeingasuccess.Butthereisonemoreessentialpartofthesuccessjourney:helpingothers.Withoutthataspect,thejourneycanbealonelyandshallowexperience.

It’sbeensaidthatwemakealivingbywhatweget,butwemakealifeby what we give. Physician, theologian, and philosopher AlbertSchweitzerstateditevenmorestrongly:“Thepurposeofhumanlifeistoserve,andtoshowcompassionandthewilltohelpothers.”Forhim,thesuccessjourneyledtoAfricawhereheservedpeopleformanyyears.

For you, sowing seeds that benefit others probably won’t meantravelingtoanothercountrytoservethepoor—unlessthatisthepurposeyouwereborntofulfill.(Andifitis,youwon’tbesatisfieduntilthat’swhatyou’re doing.) However, if you’re like most people, helping others issomething you can do right here at home, whether it’s spendingmoretime with your family, developing an employee who shows potential,

helpingpeopleinthecommunity,orputtingyourdesiresonholdforthesake of your team at work. The key is to find your purpose and helpotherswhile you’repursuing it.EntertainerDannyThomas insisted that“allofusarebornforareason,butallofusdon’tdiscoverwhy.Successin life has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish foryourself.It’swhatyoudoforothers.”

WEMAKEALIVINGBYWHATWEGET;

BUTWEMAKEALIFEBYWHATWEGIVE.

Havingtherightviewofsuccesscanhelpyoukeepapositiveattitudeabout yourself and life, nomatter what kind of circumstances you findyourself in.And ifyoucanhelpthepeopleyou leadtoadopt thatsameviewofsuccess,youcanhelpthemtoalwayshavehopeandtobecomesuccessful. Why? Because all people—regardless of talent level,education,orupbringing—arecapableofknowingtheirpurpose,growingto theirmaximum potential, and sowing seeds that benefit others. Andhelpingpeopleiswhatleadershipisreallyallabout.

But there’s one more truth you need to know if you want to be asuccessful leader in the areaof attitude.And you’ll find that in the lastchapter.

8

HOWCANALEADERKEEPCLIMBING?

Leadershavetogiveuptogoup.

Manypeople todaywant toclimbup thecorporate ladderbecausetheybelieve that freedomandpowerare theprizeswaitingat the top.Whattheydon’trealizeisthatthetruenatureofleadershipisreallysacrifice.

Mostpeoplewillacknowledgethatsacrificesarenecessaryfairlyearlyin a leadership career. People give up many things in order to gainpotential opportunities. For example, Tom Murphy began working forGeneralMotors in1937.Buthealmostrefusedthefirstpositionhewasoffered with the company because the one-hundred-dollar-a-monthsalarybarelycoveredhisexpenses.Despitehismisgivings,hetookthejob anyway, thinking the opportunity was worth the sacrifice. He wasright.MurphyeventuallybecameGeneralMotors’chairmanoftheboard.

Sacrifice is a constant in leadership. It is an ongoing process, not aone-time payment. It’s an attitude that any successful leader mustmaintain. When I look back at my career, I recognize that there hasalwaysbeenacost involvedinmovingforward.That’sbeentrueformein theareaof financeswitheverycareerchange I’vemadesince Iwastwenty-two years old. Any time you know that the step is right, don’thesitatetomakeasacrifice.

YOU’VEGOTTOGIVEUPTOGOUP

Leaderswhowanttorisehavetodomorethantakeanoccasionalcutinpay.Theyhavetogiveuptheirrights.AsmyfriendGeraldBrookssays,

“Whenyoubecomea leader,you losetheright tothinkaboutyourself.”For every person, the nature of the sacrificemaybedifferent. Leadersgive up to go up. That’s true of every leader regardless of profession.Talk to any leader, and you will find that he has made repeatedsacrifices. Usually, the higher that leader has climbed, the greater thesacrificeshehasmade.

THEHIGHERYOUGO,THEMOREYOUGIVEUP

Whoisthemostpowerfulleaderintheworld?I’dsayit’sthepresidentofthe United States.More than any other single person, his actions andwordsmakeanimpactonpeople,notjustinourcountry,butaroundtheglobe.Thinkaboutwhathemustgiveuptoreachtheofficeofpresidentand then to hold that office. His time is no longer his own. He isscrutinizedconstantly.Hisfamilyisundertremendouspressure.Andasamatter of course, he must make decisions that can cost thousands ofpeopletheirlives.Evenafterheleavesoffice,hewillspendtherestofhislifeinthecompanyofSecretServiceagentswhoprotecthimfrombodilyharm.

The greater the leader, the more he must give up. Think aboutsomeone like Martin Luther King, Jr. His wife, Coretta Scott King,remarked inMy Life with Martin Luther King, Jr., “Day and night ourphone would ring, and someone would pour out a string of obsceneepithets...Frequentlythecallsendedwithathreattokillusifwedidn’tget out of town.But in spiteof all thedanger, the chaosof ourprivatelives,Ifeltinspired,almostelated.”

While pursuing his course of leadership during the civil rightsmovement, King was arrested and jailed on many occasions. He wasstoned, stabbed, and physically attacked. His housewas bombed. Yethis vision—and his influence—continued to increase. Ultimately, hesacrificed everything he had. But what he gave up he parted withwillingly.Inhislastspeech,deliveredthenightbeforehisassassinationinMemphis,hesaid,

I don’t knowwhatwill happen tomenow.We’vegot somedifficult daysahead.But itdoesn’t matter to me now. Because I’ve been to themountaintop. I won’t mind. Likeanybody else, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I’m notconcernedaboutthatnow.IjustwanttodoGod’swill.AndHe’sallowedmetogouptothemountain.AndI’velookedoverandI’veseenthePromisedLand.Imaynotgettherewithyou,but Iwantyoutoknowtonight thatwe,asapeople,willget to thePromisedLand.SoI’mhappytonight...I’mnotfearinganyman.“Mineeyeshaveseentheglory

ofthecomingoftheLord.”1

Thenextdayhepaidtheultimatepriceofsacrifice.King’simpactwasprofound.Heinfluencedmillionsofpeopletopeacefullystandupagainstasystemandsocietythatfoughttoexcludethem.

THEHIGHERTHELEVELOFLEADERSHIPYOUWANTTOREACH,THEGREATERTHESACRIFICES

YOUWILLHAVETOMAKE.

Whatsuccessfulpeoplefindtobetruebecomesevenclearertothemwhen they become leaders. There is no successwithout an attitude ofsacrifice. The higher the level of leadership you want to reach, thegreaterthesacrificesyouwillhavetomake.Togoup,youhavetogiveup.That is the truenatureof leadership.That is thepowerof the rightattitude.

NOTES

Chapter11.JohnC.Maxwell,TheWinningAttitude(Nashville:ThomasNelson,1993),24.

2.DenisWaitley,TheWinner’sEdge(NewYork:BerkleyPublishingGroup,1994).

3.PatRiley,TheWinnerWithin(NewYork:BerkleyPublishingGroup,1994),41,52.

Chapter21.Galatians6:7.

2.J.SidlowBaxter,Awake,MyHeart(GrandRapids:KregalPublications,1996).

3.SeeLuke15:29–30.

Chapter41.Proverbs23:7.

2.Philippians4:8.

Chapter51.DavidBaylesandTedOrland,ArtandFear:Observationson thePerils (AndRewards)ofArtmaking(SantaBarbara:CapraPress,1993),29.

2. Arthur Freeman and Rose Dewolf, Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda: Overcoming Regrets,Mistakes,andMissedOpportunities(NewYork:HarperCollins,1992).

3.PatriciaSellers,“NowBounceBack!”Fortune,May1,1995,49.

4.LloydOgilvie,FallingintoGreatness(Nashville:ThomasNelson,1984).

5.Genesis40:14–15NIV.

Chapter61.AndyAndrews,ed.,“ErmaBombeck” inStormsofPerfection2(Nashville:LightningCrownPublishers,1994),51.

2.Brodin,“TheKeytoBouncingBack,”DiscipleshipJournal,issue109,1999,67.

3.“WhereFailuresGetFixed,”Fortune,May1,1995,64.

Chapter71.DavidWallechinsky,TheTwentiethCentury(Boston:Little,Brown,1995),155.

BooksbyDr.JohnC.Maxwell

CanTeachYouHowtoBeaREALSuccess

RELATIONSHIPS

BeaPeoplePerson(VictorBooks)

BecomingaPersonofInfluence(ThomasNelson)ThePowerofInfluence(HonorBooks)ThePowerofPartnershipintheChurch(J.

Countryman)TheTreasureofaFriend(J.Countryman)

EQUIPPING

The17IndisputableLawsofTeamwork(ThomasNelson)The17EssentialQualitiesofaTeamPlayer(ThomasNelson)DevelopingtheLeadersAroundYou(ThomasNelson)PartnersinPrayer(Thomas

Nelson)

SuccessOneDayataTime(J.Countryman)

ATTITUDE

BeAllYouCanBe(VictorBooks)

FailingForward(ThomasNelson)

ThePowerofThinking(HonorBooks)LivingattheNextLevel(ThomasNelson)ThinkonTheseThings(BeaconHill)TheWinningAttitude

(ThomasNelson)YourBridgetoaBetterFuture(ThomasNelson)ThePowerofAttitude(HonorBooks)

LEADERSHIP

The21IndispensableQualitiesofaLeader(ThomasNelson)The21IrrefutableLawsofLeadership(ThomasNelson)The21MostPowerfulMinutesinaLeader’sDay(ThomasNelson)DevelopingtheLeaderWithinYou(ThomasNelson)ThePowerofLeadership(HonorBooks)

TheRighttoLead(J.Countryman)

YourRoadMapforSuccess(ThomasNelson)

JOHNMAXWELL’SREALLEADERSHIPSERIES

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ABOUTTHEAUTHOR

KnownasAmerica’sexpertonleadership,JohnC.Maxwellisfounderofthe INJOY Group™, an organization dedicated to helping peoplemaximizetheirpersonalandleadershippotential.Throughhisseminars,books,andtapes,Dr.Maxwellencourages,teaches,andmotivatesmorethan one million people each year. He has authored more than thirtybooks, includingbestsellersThe21IrrefutableLawsofLeadership,The21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader,Developing the Leader WithinYou,The17IndisputableLawsofTeamwork,FailingForward,andYourRoadMapforSuccess.