Chapter 25.1 – Teenagers

Hello dear readers and welcome back to A Piratical Legacy, which follows the trials and tribulations of the Buccaneer family as they attempt to rule Pirate Island for 10 generations. Of course, rule is a relative term. I'd more call their leadership "flailing about aimlessly while not screwing things up too badly." If you haven't read the previous chapters, this one isn't going to make a whole lot of sense to you so I suggest backtracking and reading all 28ish uploads previous to this one first. Finished? Great! Now dive right in!

"Ready for another day of squeezing the poor, my darling husband?" Grace asked Lee in a seductive voice. "It's at the top of my to-do list," Lee purred in agreement. "Ready to get that fourth business up to level ten, my sweet?" "It shouldn't be a problem at all," Grace giggled. "I love you, Lee." "I love you too, babe." Grace Buccaneer, fifth generation heiress of the Buccaneer family, often greeted her husband this way when they woke up in the morning. They were a terribly romantic couple - in their opinion, at least.

And a morning of sappy greetings and discussions about how best to extort their fellow citizens of Pirate Island inevitably led to Grace doing a better job than usual selling wedding supplies at the fourth of her eventual five businesses. "Mr. Fitzhugh, is it? Do you see marriage in your future?" "Well... I haven't really given it that much thought," Rhys said with a shrug. "The women I love tend to die a lot. Getting married just seems cruel." "But surely there's someone special in your life right now?" Grace persisted.

"There would be if she would actually accept cubic zirconium in place of diamonds," Rhys muttered under his breath. "How was I supposed to know it was fake?" "Pardon?" "Oh, nevermind," Rhys said. "Yeah, I'll take one of the cakes. I think I'm having a pity party tonight and I could use the comfort food." "Nadine will be happy to box it up for you," Grace said with a smile as she moved on to the next vict-- customer.

"I don't believe we've met," Grace said, catching sight of the next perplexed customer. "Grace Buccaneer." "Octavia Toyonaga," the slender woman in the blue dress said, offering her fingertips. "Charmed, I'm sure." "Can I help you with anything?" Grace asked. "I do recommend that particular wine, I might add. It's an excellent vintage." "What?" Octavia said, looking up. It took her a moment to realize Grace was talking to her. "Oh! Yes! Well, I'll take one." That was easy, Grace thought to herself as she led the Roman woman

to the cash register. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" "Abdicate in favor of the Toyonaga family," Octavia said under her breath as she counted out the price of the bottle. "What was that?" "I said, 'You must miss your family'," Octavia said. "Working such long hours, I mean." "How nice of you to take an interest," Grace said with a fake smile. "My family and I are fine, however. Do stop by again!"

That evening Grace finally received the final star she needed for her wedding business to reach level ten thanks to Samantha Ottomas. "Bit late to be looking for wedding dresses," Grace commented, nodding her head at Samantha's prominent baby bump. "What? Oh!" Samantha blushed. "This is my husband's baby. But he's a notorious playboy and romancer and I'm probably going to have to leave him one of these days. The dress is for my second wedding." "Good for you," Grace said awkwardly. She patted Samantha on the back. "Nice to see a woman who thinks ahead. But you're still really weird." "I know!" Samantha said gleefully. "Don't feed the idiots," Brandi Letourneau complained as she walked past. Grace decided she'd better heed that advice, closed up shop for the evening, and headed home.

When she got there, her son Coxinga (Zing) had company over. Toshiko Buccaneer, daughter of Grace's favorite cousin Morgan, was playing video games while she waited for Zing to finish his homework. "Let's play Splinter Cell!" Toshiko said enthusiastically. "I found out there's this downloadable level where you can get an acoustic grenade launcher, Auntie Grace. I've always wanted to try it out but I don't have Splinter Cell at home." "Sounds like fun!" Grace grinned. "I hardly ever get to play since Zing, Andrew, and Lee hog the machine so much." "Typical men," Toshiko snorted disgustedly. "I think it's because they know the women in their lives are better at shooter and strategy games than they are." "I think you're right," Grace agreed.

"I heard that!" Zing called from the corner. He'd finished his homework and was busy fixing the computer. "Mom, the network's down again!" "Kick the router," Grace advised. "That usually works." "Only for a few minutes at a time," Ching Shih, Grace's younger child, said disgustedly. "And then it thinks it's connected but it really isn't, and everything times out, and if you're trying to upload something it screws up." "You sound a little bitter," Toshiko observed. "Not bitter," Shih insisted. "I'm a realist, that's all. How do you spell

realist, Toshi?" "R-e-a-l-i-s-t," Toshi said mechanically. "Why do you ask?" "I'm writing an essay on why Professor Butters should let us lick frosty gateposts," Shih said. "It'll help us understand better why we shouldn't do it, and as long as she has warm water nearby so we don't have to rip our tongues off to get unstuck it's perfectly safe." "I wonder if I could incorporate that into an anti-terrorist weapon," Toshiko mused. "Hmmm..." "Probably not."

"Between you and Shih, this family is definitely weird," Zing said once he'd finished fixing the computer. "You're the one who likes to pretend he's a dishonest vendor of previously owned vehicles," Toshiko pointed out. "That's not weird, that's practicing my sales techniques," Zing insisted. "You can't tell anyone, Toshi, but I'm pretty sure my parents are broke. Mom's spent a lot of money on her businesses, and Dad entertains clients pretty much every day and I think he only charges some of it to his corporate account. They won't let me see their

financial statements, and that to me says that things must be pretty dire. I'm going to be starting my own business soon to see if I can get the family out of the hole for good." "You're such an optimist," Toshi laughed. "Red Hands?" "Why not?" Zing shrugged. "And yeah, I think I'm probably the best thing that's ever happened to this family. I'll make sure they're rich before I leave it in Shih's hands. She can be the heir." "You're too kind," Toshi laughed.

After Toshiko went home, Zing headed out into the garden to use the wishing well. He'd been watching for a while and nobody else had used it so he felt pretty safe in wishing for money. "Every little bit can help the family," he said to himself as the sparkling bag of simoleons landed at his feet. "I'll just slip this into mom's petty cash drawer and maybe save the wedding business from going under entirely." "What're you doing over there?" Roche called from the other side of the yard where he was working in the garden.

"Errr... wishing for my first kiss," Zing called back. "Great!" Roche said approvingly. "Go get 'em, boy! Now, what was I doing again?" "Spraying for aphids," Zing said as he shoved the money into his pockets and strode nonchalantly to the car that was waiting to take him to his part-time job. "Oh yeah..."

"Mind if we stop for a second on the way?" he asked the driver as he got in. The driver looked at her watch. "Sure, no problemo kid," she said agreeably. "We're a bit early." "Great!"

"Aphids... aphids..." Roche said to himself as he inspected his cucumber plants. "Stupid aphids. Wrecking my plants." He pulled out a container of pesticides and started spraying. And spraying. And spraying! Even when he stopped, the pesticides were still swirling around him ominously. He coughed. "Err... maybe I used a little too much?"

When the cloud settled, Roche looked down at himself in dismay. "I'm green! That will never do." He raced inside and called the gypsy matchmaker, who promised to drop off a bottle of antidote immediately. "Better make that ten bottles," Roche said. "You never know... it could happen again!"

Within a few moments, the old voodoo lady had stopped by and delivered the potion. "It'll keep for years if you don't use it all," she said. "You don't shortchange me like your ancestors used to, so I give you the good stuff." "Thanks," Roche said, eyeing the bright yellow solution cautiously. "And you're sure this stuff will work?" "There is money-back guarantee if you haff problems," the lady assured him. "I be goingk now. Good luck, Mister Buccaneer."

Fortunately, the stuff worked like a charm, though Roche's clothes didn't change back. "Not exactly the height of fashion," he said, looking down at himself. "Still, I guess it's better than being naked!" He made a mental note to get to the store later that day.

"Grandpa, you turned green!" Ching Shih said excitedly when Roche tucked her in later that evening. "Indeed I did, Shih," Roche said solemnly. "Too many pesticides." "I'm gonna be green one day," Shih said sleepily. "G'night, Grandpa." "Sleep tight, darling," Roche said with a smile as he smoothed the covers over his somnolent garnddaughter. "And I don't doubt you will be green one day if you want to be. You can do anything you set your mind to doing."

A few doors down, another of Pirate Island's sixth generation of residents was practicing his piano skills. And singing loudly while he did so. "Oh Ceiling Cat! Oh Ceiling Cat! I can has cheezburger? Kthxbai!"

"Gah! Shere Khan, it's six in the morning!" Pierce Buccaneer and his wife Rani, uncle and aunt to the young lad, protested. "I r fail?" Shere Khan asked sadly. "Teh lose?" "Maybe practice without singing for a while," Pierce said. "And after Angora's party tonight I'll give you a hand with some of your tougher chords." "Gee, thanks Uncle Pierce!" Shere Khan said happily. "Between you and Toshi, I'll be the best musical cat in the world!" "Just as long as you don't mix music with explosives," Pierce said, shuddering.

Angora, Shere Khan's less musically-inclined cousin, preferred other pursuits to that of making music. Specifically, she preferred cheating at chess while playing against her grandfather Benjamin's fellow Steel Chefs. "I don't know how you keep winning," Skylar complained. "Your moves come out of nowhere!" "I'm naturally talented," Angora said modestly. "By the way, the space ship is still over there. You don't want to look away yet." "Are you sure?" the chef asked, craning his head. "I don't even see a window on that wall." "It's behind the curtains."

"What curtains?" "The plaid ones." "Huh?" Skylar scratched his head as he stared at the empty wall. "I'm just not seeing it." "It's gone now," Angora said. "Oh." Skylar returned his attention to the chess board and threw up his hand with disgust. "Might as well end this one now," he said. "You'll have me in checkmate in four more moves. You're just too good for me, Angora." "I practice a lot."

"Grandpa's friends are dumb," Angora announced to Shere Khan once Skylar had left. "Epic fail," Shere Khan said with disgust. He'd watched the entire exchange. "I think it's the bubbles," Angora added. "Remind me never to touch a bubble blower even when I'm a teenager and want to, okay Khan? I'm gonna stick to juice." "Juice FTW," Shere Khan said, and the cousins shook on it. "Your birthday is tomorrow night, right?" "Yep!"

The next day Shere Khan's parents helped get ready for their niece's birthday party by scattering feathers all over the yard. As there were several felines in the family, they felt it would be weird if there wasn't any evidence of dead birds to be found. At least, that was the explanation they gave to Pierce when he questioned them on it. "Mom! Dad! I got an A plus!" Shere Khan announced as he ran off the school bus. "Uhh... what are you doing?" "Bird massacre," Rajah explained. "Very tragic," Moll added.

"You guys are Phail," Shere Khan said scornfully. "You're making a mess. Anyway, didn't you hear me? I got an A plus!" "That's great!" Moll said, putting her pillow down and catching her breath. She gave Khan a hug. "Congratulations, dear!" "That's better," Khan said. "Uhh... cleaning - you're doing it wrong. Angie's party starts in less than an hour." "Fine, fine," Rajah grumbled, but he stooped to clean up the mess anyway. "I'm proud of you, son."

That night was the night of the biggest party Pirate Island had seen in quite some time. It seemed like every single one of Angora's relatives was on hand to watch her grow up into a teen, though Toshi was the only one under the age of twenty-five who could make it.

"So when can I start dating?" Angora asked cheerfully once she'd popped up into teenagerhood. Her parents shared a concerned glance. "Pleasure?" "Just like Grandpa Benjamin," Angora grinned. "So... dates? Soon?" "At least she's not Romance," Pierce said. "Hey! I heard that!" De*, Angora's paternal grandmother, called out. ==== * simself of Fireflower314

"You'll do fine, my dear," De added once Angora had changed and fixed her hair. "You do the family proud!"

"So, do you think I'll give my parents a heart attack if I tell them I want fifty first dates?" Angora asked her grandfather, Bart Buccaneer, after she'd eaten her slice of cake. "Don't advertise that to your elderly male relatives," Bart advised, looking pained. "I don't mind at all!" Benjamin called from the kitchen table. "Err... there are exceptions to that, of course," Bart amended. "I suggest you do it the way my great-grandfather... your great-great-

great grandfather... did it. Just buy the cheapest ones you can get off of the matchmaker." "But that's no fun," Angora insisted. "Half the time you get flaming bags of dog poo on your doorstep if you do it that way. I want to have good dates!" "Not until you're thirty," Bart insisted. "Or away at college." "Aw, man..."

"So what do you think of your niece and her aspiration choices?" De asked Rose, Pierce's younger sister and her youngest daughter. "I think Pierce and Rani are going to have their hands full!" Rose giggled. "I'm soooo glad I don't have any kids yet." "I'm not," De snorted. "I want more grandbabies, Rose. Soon?" "College placeholder here," Rose shrugged. "I'm not done til Zing or Shih pledges the Greek house." "Well, it won't be that long now," De said. "Their teen years are whizzing by and I think they're going to head to university when

they're eighteen or nineteen." "And their families think they're a handful now..." Andrew Thayer chuckled. "I have a feeling this generation of college kids is going to be a crazy one." "How is your family doing over in Paris?" De asked solicitously. "You're from that branch of the family tree, right?" "Great, and yes," Andrew nodded. "I'm just in town visiting my parents and Pierce suggested I stop by for the party. I haven't been home in ages!"

The next day, Shere Khan was again the proud recipient of a top-level report card, which he eagerly shared with his father. "Awesome!" Rajah said approvingly. "So today's your birthday, huh? Quite a coup, getting a top report card and turning into a teen on the same day." "Yep. I pwn," Shere Khan agreed. "Have you given any thought to your aspiration?" Rajah prodded gently. "It's a big choice, after all." "Dad, you've known me my whole life," Shere Khan said. "What do you think I'm going to pick?"

"You really remind me of my grandparents, Eddie and Tosha," Rajah said. "My guess is knowledge." "Yeah, I want to be just like Great-Grandpa," Khan said eagerly. "I've read all of his books! His research was absolutely amazing, dad. I mean, when he created us he basically created an entire superior species! FTW!" "Pretty impressive stuff," Rajah agreed. "But you are going to date and stuff, right?" "Don't worry," Khan said. "I'll be a closet Romance sim. Is can be hugs tiem nao pls?"

"Grandpa, come on!" Khan insisted a few hours later. "The party's starting! You don't want to miss it, do you?" "I guess I'd better stop spying on the neighbors, then," Benjamin said. "Getting a bit too dark to see anything, for one thing." "But there's no cake," Khan said. "The cake is a lie." "Really?" "No, I just made that up."

"I wish... errr... I can has cheezburger? And a bukkit? And a cookie that nobody eated but me? And hugs? And fud? And... and... and cheezburger?"

And the lolkitten grew up into a lolcat, and Ceiling Cat saw that it was good. And much cake was nommed. "Sweet shirt!" Toshi said admiringly once Shere Khan had changed. "Addie Finch is definitely the hottest rock star ever! I can't believe Uncle Pierce actually knows her!" "Well, he is in the music business too," Khan said. "Hey, why don't we do something tomorrow after school since we're all old enough to take off without our parents now?" "That sounds cool!" Toshi grinned. "I'll give Angora a call tomorrow, okay?" "Awesome."

"Arrr! Don't be goin' outside unless ye wish t' regret it, mate!" "De, darling, what have I told you about encouraging him?" Bart scolded his wife. "He said he had something important to tell you," De shrugged. "Sometimes he's got important things to say." "Most of the time he just wants us to find him a bottle of rum," Bart pointed out. "Arr! I'm still here, ye scurvy antecedents," Captain Jack Bear complained. "Yes, but you're plush. It's not like you can do anything if we ignore you," Bart said. "Don't say I didn't warn ye," the bear smirked.

"There'll be no living with him after this," Bart muttered.

"So, Grandpa Jack warned your dad and he didn't listen, huh?" Kelly chuckled. "Well, it was kind of dumb for dad to soak in the hot tub during a thunderstorm," Morgan said. "Really, Grandpa Jack's advice was common sense. Though I wonder how he knew it would storm?"

"Grandma, Angie, Khan, Hugo and I are going to the Youth Centre, okay?" "Have you finished your homework, Toshi?" De asked sternly. "Not quite, but Angie is coming over before we go out so we can do the group part of the project. Please, Grandma? Mom and mom are at work but I know they'll be okay with it if you or Grandpa says yes."

"And you won't be sneaking out to play with explosives?" "Nope! Angie and I want to get cellphones but it's nothing more exciting than that, except maybe some espresso." "Wellll... I suppose it's okay," De said after a few moments thought. "Just remember it's a school night. Curfew is ten." "Gotcha!"

"Okay, so the guys said they'll meet us there in an hour," Toshi said to Angora once her cousin arrived. "So we don't have much time to finish our chemistry homework. I can't believe Grandpa won't let us study violent exothermic reactions except by computer simulation." "Grandpa knows you pretty well," Angora responded. "Plus all the other parents would be pretty upset if their kids lost a finger during the 'violent exothermic reaction' experiment. Just face facts, Toshi... you're going to have to focus on the music end of things until you're in college." "I know, and it totally sucks," Toshi said, making a face. Then her face lit up and a devilish grin crossed her features. "First one to laugh has to dance with Shere Khan when we go out later... last one to laugh gets to dance with Hugo." "What?"

"Made you laugh!" Toshi giggled as she tickled her cousin furiously. "You're stuck with Shere Khan, my dear cousin... I get to have Hugo all to myself!" "What? But he's practically related to us!" Angora said, making a face while trying to control her laughing. "That's so gross, Toshi." "Yeah, but have you seen how cute he is?" "He's pretty cute, but he's still your cousin," Angora said. "Second or third cousin at least," Toshi insisted. "Plus, I'm adopted so it's not like there's any blood there anyway. His mom even wrote a story about people getting together who thought they were siblings

almost their whole lives but turned out to be completely unrelated, and everyone thought it was awesome." "That's a story," Angora pointed out. "This is real life!" "C'mon, you like him too," Toshi said. "I know you do... I read your diary." "What?!?" "Are you girls going to get any of your homework done?" Bart called from the dining room. With a sigh, the girls went upstairs and got to work.

Fortunately, the work wasn't terribly exhaustive and in less than an hour, Toshi and Angie were at the youth centre. "Yes!" Toshi said, slipping a bill into the cell phone vending machine. "These phones are totally moddable, Angie. I already know how to rig one to be used as a detonator when fighting the evil terrorists. But you gotta have the right ringtone installed or it won't work." "Are you for real, Toshi?" Angora asked, giving her cousin a look as she got her own phone. "Or do you just make this stuff up?" "Some of it's real, and some of it's wishful thinking," Toshiko said. "But once we're finished college I'm sure I'll be able to do all of it. I am a certified genius, you know." "I admit you're pretty smart, but sometimes I think your dreams are a little crazy, Toshiko," Angora chuckled. She looked around the room. "Ooh, they got a photobooth! Let's take our pictures!"

"Not bad, Angora... not bad at all," Toshiko proclaimed once the machine had spit out two copies of the photos. "We are definitely the awesomest chicks on this island." "Yeah, but here come the guys," Angora said, pointing to where Hugo and Shere Khan were walking through the door. "Let's go upstairs!"

The music was blasting, the lights were doing a crazy dance over the dance floor... and Toshiko was daring her cousin to do something that might not be the best idea. "I totally dare you to flirt with Hugo," Toshiko giggled. "What? I thought you liked him!" Angora hissed. "Only kinda," Toshi shrugged. "I don't really want a boyfriend right now. Too much danger of hormone explosions and stuff. So you can have him."

"Why Toshiko, you're too generous," Angora laughed, clutching her hands to her chest in mock excitement. "What do you think they're talking about?" Shere Khan asked Hugo from a few steps away. The music was loud enough that the guys couldn't hear the girls' conversation -- which was probably a good thing. "Who knows?" Hugo shrugged. "Girls are so weird, dude. Especially Toshiko." "Her weirdness -- let me sho u it," Shere Khan agreed.

At that moment, Angora spun on her heel and sidled up to Hugo. "Hugo, I must say you look absolutely ravishing tonight," she managed to say, blushing furiously as she attempted to stroke his cheek. "Wha--?" Hugo caught Angora's hand and pushed it gently away. "Err... Angie, have you and Toshiko been hitting the bubbles again?" Angora spun back around and collapsed against Toshiko in a fit of giggles. "U r teh strange," Shere Khan proclaimed while Hugo looked at him

helplessly. "What'd I do?" Hugo asked the world at large. Angora's answer was a blushing giggle, while Toshiko had to clutch the wall for support she was laughing so hard. "You guys are nuts," Shere Khan said, shaking his head. "And I eated your squirrels." "Eww!" "Figuratively speaking, I mean."

By this point the club had begun to fill up a bit, though there seemed to be more chaperones than high school students on the dance floor. "Woot! You go, Mr. Spade!" Toshiko cheered as she watched one of the chaperones attempt to dance. "You pwn!" Shere Khan added gleefully. "Full of win!"

The rest of the evening ended up being pretty fun despite the large numbers of adults who felt like hanging out at a place geared towards teenagers. "... and then Ceiling Cat opened my eyes, and I saw the truth," Shere Khan nodded enthusiastically. "Dude, don't go trying to convert me to your strange religion," Hugo said, shaking his finger mock-seriously. "I'm a follower of the Jedi." "DO NOT WANT!"

"You're all much weirder kids than my generation," Hugo's Uncle Nick proclaimed sadly. "You're a Jedi too?" Pascal Curious-Deity said enthusiastically. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. I'm a Master in the Jedi Order myself and I didn't know there were any other Force-users on the island!" "Whoa, extreme triple nerd overload alert!" Hugo said, shuddering. "C'mon, Khan, let's play kicky-bag."

"Kicky-bag FTW!"

"Much as Angie and I hate to interrupt your male bonding rituals, it's almost ten and my parents are going to kill me if I'm late getting home," Toshiko said, breaking into the game. "C'mon, guys, let's jet. Hugo, you can walk me home if you like. Well, most of the way home. I live further than you do." "Why don't we all just walk together?" Shere Khan asked. "We can drop Hugo off first, then you, and then Ang and I can go the rest of the way to our house." "... or we could do that," Toshiko said brightly. "You're brilliant, Shere Khan." "My brilliance. Let me show you it." "Numbskull," Angora added under her breath as the four teens sauntered away.

Still, Toshiko was pretty happy with how the evening had gone and when she got home she wrote all about it in her blog... with the entry set to female friends only, since she spent most of the entry talking about her crush on Hugo.

"I'm concerned," Orikes Pseudo said the next morning to her husband Will. "About what?" Will asked solicitously. "About our son!" Orikes said. "You know we've never seen him bring a girl home from school who isn't related to him. Or a boy, for that matter! Our son is a teenager! He should be dating like crazy!" "Maybe he's just a late bloomer," Will shrugged. "Or maybe he's icked out by the fact that nine tenths of the girls on the island are distantly related to him." "I suppose that could be it," Orikes said. "Still. Moar date!" "Now you sound like Shere Khan. I know what'll take your mind off worrying about our boy..."

"You're right, dear... smacking you over the head with a pillow definitely has cheered me up!" Orikes giggled.

"Fishie!" Green Boolprop said gleefully from upstairs. "I can see you little fishie!" ==== This random slide brought to you by Sarah's nVidia graphics card, which apparently does support shaders since she can see the fish...

When Hugo got home from school that afternoon his parents were still pillow-fighting in the kitchen so he was able to slip upstairs without them noticing. It only took two seconds to send a quick email and then he was back downstairs and waiting outside nervously.

He didn't have to wait very long before the Gypsy Matchmaker showed up. "Just make sure she's completely unrelated to me," he said emphatically as he pressed the full price in simoleons into the older woman's hand. "Completely." "Maybe that'll be a bit tough," the woman said after a moment's consideration. "Gonna haff to go outside the island. You get til midnight, okay?" "Uhh... okay," Hugo shrugged. "This girl from Singapore," the gypsy advised. "But I think you like."

"Whoa... that was trippy," a very pretty girl with an elaborate hairstyle said a few minutes later as she got up somewhat shakily from the ground where she'd landed with a thud. She looked around nervously. "Oooh... this is one of those date things that I signed up for, isn't it?" "Yeah, kinda," Hugo said, walking over to her. "I'm Hugo Pseudo. What's your name?" "Lainey Barthelet," the girl said, shaking her head. She looked around. "Where am I, anyway?" "Pirate Island," Hugo said. "Pretty much halfway around the world from Singapore. Speaking of that, your English is pretty awesome." "I learn it at school," Lainey said. "Pirate Island, hmm? Well, Hugo Pseudo of Pirate Island, how long is this date supposed to last?"

"The gypsy said until midnight, so we don't have much time," Hugo said. He took a deep breath. "Lainey, you're way hotter than any of the local girls." "Why Hugo, how kind of you to say so," Lainey said, matching Hugo's tone. Then she burst into giggles. "Hugo Pseudo, you don't have to use dorky pickup lines on me, okay? We both signed up for the gypsy thing. Obviously we both want to meet someone. Why don't we just try being friends first and see where things go from there?"

Things went pretty well from there, and by quarter to midnight, Hugo was pretty well smitten with his foreign girl. "What do you say to just a little romance?" he suggested, checking his watch. "One dance, Lainey?" "I suppose a dance couldn't hurt," Lainey agreed with a smile. Then her face turned stern. "But keep your hands where I can see them, Hugo Pseudo!" "Deal," Hugo grinned.

As the clock chimed the first stroke of midnight, Hugo leaned forward to murmur in Lainey's ear. "My email... it's notelrond-at-pirateisland-dot-net," he said. "Got it," Lainey grinned. "I'll keep in touch, Hugo Pseudo. You can count on it." She pressed something into his hand. Feeling emboldened by Lainey's obvious interest, Hugo decided to go for it and leaned forward to press his lips to hers. But in the millisecond before he made contact, she vanished. "Just like Cinderella," he said ruefully. Then he glanced down at the paper Lainey had given him. "I'm sure we'll eventually see each other again, Lainey." And he dashed upstairs to save Lainey's email address somewhere he wasn't likely to lose it.

"I saw what you were doing last night," Hugo's younger sister Liv announced the next morning while they watched cartoons together. "What?" Hugo gulped, his jaw dropping in surprise. "You got a girlfriend from the matchmaker," Liv singsonged. "I saw it! And you were even gonna kiss her but you ran out of time, right?" "Don't you dare tell anyone," Hugo hissed furiously at his sister. "Or I'll tell mom and dad that you've been sneaking bubbles again." "No way!" Liv said, startled. "Oh, fine Hugo. I won't say anything except when we're alone. But I totally still get to tease you whenever it's just the two of us." "Whatever," Hugo said grumpily.

"Too much coffee..." Ruby* yawned as she cleared the cup away. "Maybe if those dratted kids would actually act like normal kids I wouldn't be up all night being nervous." === * simself of Ah Rubyblue, writer of Goldilocks and the Nine Heirs

"I don't know what Ruby's complaining about," Mini-Robin* said to Mini-Toast* out in the yard. "Did you hear her complaining? You'd think we were normal simkids instead of simselves who aged down for fun." "Yeah, but now we gotta grow up into acne-land," Toast complained. "All because we agreed to do that stupid quest for Professor Butters." "Well, if the Prof thinks something is up with Justinian and his brother it makes more sense for us to spy on them instead of the older simselves," Robin pointed out. "And you got Justinian. I'm stuck with dorky Crassus."

"I suppose that's a bonus," Toast said. "But what if I roll some dorky aspiration when we grow up? I wanna be a Pleasure sim!" "What simmer would dare changing the aspiration of a simself?" Robin asked. "Anyway, the party guests are almost here." "Sweet," Toast grinned. === *simselves of Robinoli (omgrobinnn, writer of It's A Legacy, Darling) and EphemeralToast (writer of the Ugothlacy).

Nine-tenths of the simselves on the island and their spouses (if applicable) were soon waving noisemakers to encourage the two childified simselves on their way to teendom. "Glad it's them and not me," I muttered in an aside to my husband.

"Well, I suppose if we have to be teenagers it's a good thing we're hot teenagers," Robin said as she and Toast posed for the obligatory makeover shot. "What'd you roll?" "Popularity," Toast said. "I suppose that's not so bad. Right now I'm really wanting to Throw A Party... that's not so different from a Pleasure sim. And my LTW is all glitchy and I want 50 1st Dates." "I rolled Knowledge again," Robin said happily. "No change there!"

"I want to Be Friends With Justinian," Toast said. "Maybe this is going to be easier than I thought it would." "Well, that'll have to wait until the adult simselves finish embarrasing themselves," Robin said. "Stupid simself parties." "At least we're in the clear." "True that."

Not that the simselves did anything particularly cringe-worthy, other than Professor Butters* and her husband Flavius Marius blocking the only door to the house for over an hour while they flirted on the landing. ==== *simself of ProfessorButters (loolooloo16play, writer of the Squeaky Clean Legacy). Flavius is from Blite27's (netsfn1427) Ten Caesars Legacy.

Some of the unattached simselves were a bit inclined to grumble at not having been paired up with a hot spare yet, but such is the life of a simself. They seem to be included in other peoples' legacies either to get attention, or to be tormented. It's the rare simmer that will actually marry them off to a hot spare with no strings attached.

Marina* was the only simself who really acted out of character... she spent the entire party playing with a toy robot in the corner and firmly resisted any efforts to get her to interact with others. === *simself of smoothiequeen87, writer of the now completed Fitzhugh Legacy as well as several other projects.

"Well, Flavius, that was a nice party," the Professor said the next day once things had settled down. "Of course, the girls aren't in my class anymore but I hope they'll do a good job of keeping an eye on Justinian. Do you think we should get the other simselves involved at this point?" "I think we should let my Roman cousins see if they can handle things themselves," Flavius pointed out. "You haven't really given them a chance yet and I know they won't be happy with the zombie-making. Poor Sejanus. He was a good kid." "At least it was him and not you," the Professor said as she flipped through her newspaper. "I had this ... inkling... that something might happen in the neighborhood involving Romans and zombies." "Good thing it didn't happen to me is right," Flavius nodded. "If it had, we wouldn't have had Lucretia or Erroneous." "Speaking of the kids, where are they anyway?" the Professor wondered. "Shouldn't we be bringing Erroneous to the birthday cake tonight?"

Lucretia was on the internet, chatting away with her Buccaneer buddies but she came when called to the living room.

"Happy birthday, Erroneous!" everyone cried as the Professor did the honours. "You're the youngest kid on Pirate Island!"

Interludes aside, it was time for another birthday party on Pirate Island. At the Toyonaga household, all of Justinian's relatives were invited to help celebrate his birthday... including Septimus and Octavia. Sejanus seemed very uncomfortable, but nobody could tell why, and Tara (Justinian's grandmother) felt that the more of Justinian's family surrounding him at such a time, the better. She only wished that her husband Scipio was still alive to see it.

"I wish... hmm. What do I wish for, Grandma?" Justinian asked as he studied the brightly glowing candles. "You can't tell anyone," Tara said gently. "Otherwise it won't come true." "Okay," Justinian said. He screwed up his eyes, took a deep breath, and blew out the candles. I wish my daddy could be normal again...

Only time will tell if it's even possible for Justinian's wish to come true--does recording it here mean that it won't happen?--but the general consensus is that Justinian grew up very well indeed and, in a fit of teenage rebellion, he flat-out refused to wear a toga. Still, the look suited his somewhat volatile personality.

"A proper young Roman man should be wearing a toga," Octavia huffed when she caught sight of her great-nephew in his new clothing. "Honestly, I don't know what youths are coming to these days. When I was a teenager, my brothers were happy to parade around in their togas." "And how many of them still wear the toga?" Justinian pointed out nastily. "Let's see, there's my dad--but he's kind of undead--and there's Uncle Septimus. I think that's it, Aunt Octavia. Let's just face it. The rest of the family is getting with the times, okay?"

"You're an ungrateful little brat with no appreciation for your heritage," Octavia spat. "And you'll act like a proper Roman if you know what's good for you--understand?" "I understand that you're a meddling busybody," Justinian said, crossing his arms and pouting in a way that only a teenager could. "What business is it of yours if I want to dress a bit differently?" "Just... don't go around wearing black lipstick, okay?" Octavia said, moderating her voice a little bit. Perhaps she realized that bringing Justinian around to her way of thinking would require being on somewhat better terms with her. "I hope you had a happy birthday, my dear nephew." "Geez... I don't think you know whether you're coming up or going down," Justinian said disdainfully, and he wandered over to talk to his other grandparents instead.

Young Crassus, meanwhile, was avoiding the family drama by playing Tub Pirates in the dog bath out on the lawn in the middle of a hailstorm. The boy had a sense for where the safest place on the lot would be.

As for Tara, she was indulging herself a bit with one of the other guests. Ever since Scipio had died, she'd felt a bit lonely, and when her co-worker Hercules swept her off her feet during the party she decided to run with it. "Just... don't tell my wife, okay?" Hercules muttered as he disentangled himself from Tara's arms when the party was over. "Wait... wife?" "Oh, never mind," Herc shrugged. Sometimes I think Hercules has a death wish. He should know by now that the island deity doesn't approve of adultery... especially when it's her own son indulging in it.

The next day, Justinian got changed into some warmer clothes and headed to the youth centre to pick up a cell phone. As a newly minted popularity sim, he figured he would need one to keep in touch with the many friends he planned on having.

And he would need to be fit, too, if he wanted to attract the ladies or lads. While he wasn't a romancer, he did want to be popular so that he would have his choice of girlfriend or boyfriend. He was a picky kind of guy. And while fitness didn't always lead directly to popularity (on Pirate Island), he also felt that an athletic career was where his talents lie, and he wanted to go to college and figured an athletic scholarship was his best opportunity. He really did consider things from several angles before going ahead with them.

Speaking of college, Rose Buccaneer was nearing the end of her time there, though she thought she ought to stay around until the next generation of legacy kids was overrunning the place.

It wasn't so much that she minded staying and watching the place... it was more that she'd had her life on hold for years by this point and she was eager to start a family with her boyfriend, Two Curtin, who lived on Pirate Island and wasn't getting any younger.

"Two, my love, I'm just about finished here... will you promise to marry me once I'm finally released?" "Oh, Rose... nothing would make me happier!" They were really a sweet couple.

A few blocks away, in downtown Paris, it was time for yet another birthday party. This one was for the unnaturally conceived son of Susanna Buccaneer--Grim Reaper, and her boytoy Gavin Biggs. "So is mom coming to my party?" Toby wanted to know as he danced on his father's feet. "Your mom, and all of your grandparents!" Gavin promised. "All of them?" Toby was astonished. "But I hardly ever see Grandma Irony and Grandpa Wedge. And I never see Grandma Marie and

Grandpa Roche in the same place ever!" "I know," Gavin said, "but your family all wants to spend your special day with you. Are you ready to be a teenager, Toby?" "Yeah!" Toby crowed. "'Cause then I get to meet... girls. Lots of girls. More girls than even you ever dated, dad. So many girls I won't know what to do with them all." "Just like your parents," Gavin said fondly. "I'm so proud of you, son."

It was definitely a big crowd that arrived to help celebrate Toby's birthday, and they were all enthusiastic.

"Look out ladies... here I come," Toby purred once he'd changed. "I am da MAN!"

"So what aspiration did you choose?" Grandma Irony asked politely as she got to know her near-stranger grandson. "Romance, of course!" Toby said happily. "There never really was any other option, Grandma. The ladies of Paris aren't going to know what hit them..." "Oh... dear," Irony said.

"So dad, now that I'm older, why don't you tell me all about it. How do you woo a girl anyway?" "Just be yourself," Gavin advised. "And whatever you do, don't push them to do anything they don't want to. If you play things right, you'll have the girls all asking you out on dates and you won't have to lift a finger." "Really?"

"That's how your mom and I got together," Gavin winked. "Ew!" Toby shuddered. "Too much info, dad." "Oh, and don't date the Grim Reaper or any other supernaturals," Gavin advised. "Some of them have odd ideas about pregnancy. Once you're old enough to get into that sort of behavior, I mean." "Not til college," Toby promised.

But just because he was waiting until college to indulge some behaviors didn't mean that Toby was planning to wait for all Romantic interactions. That very evening he headed to the local bowling alley to see what Paris had to offer in the way of teen girls. While he was there he met Ivy Rusewicz...

... and he got along with her pretty well after some initial awkwardness. "Of course you're the only girl I like," Toby grinned charmingly.

"Well, in that case.... let's dance!" Ivy giggled. "Show me your moves, baby," Toby winked.

"Let's go bowl with my friend Candice Nott," Ivy suggested. Toby looked Ivy up and down. "Sounds like a great idea," he grinned.

"This is my friend Marylena Mazza," Candice said when a pretty dark-haired girl wandered over to join them. "She goes to the same school as I do." "It's nice to meet you, Marylena," Toby said smoothly. "You're a Romance sim, aren't you," Marylena giggled. "Who ever said that?" Toby asked. "I can smell one a mile off," Marylena laughed. "Cut the act, Biggs. I know exactly what you are."

"Does it bother you?" Toby asked. "Not really," Marylena admitted. "Hey, I'm still here!" Candice complained. "Cut the flirting, loverboy." "Yeah!" Ivy added. "But I'm a lucky guy," Toby said with a somewhat sleazy leer. "I've got three gorgeous dames who all want to spend time with me. What's wrong with that?"

"You can only date one of us at a time, you know," Candice pointed out. "I'd be mighty upset to find out that you were dating Ivy or Marylena behind my back. So I'm afraid we're all going to have to be just friends with you, Toby Biggs." "Well... I suppose I can live with that," Toby said after a few moments of internal conflict. Maybe this was what his father meant by suggesting letting the girls come to him. "But you know where I am, doll, should you ever want anything more." "Yes we do," Candice giggled.

Feeling the need to escape from the girls who were now discussing him like he was a hunk of meat, Toby headed out to the patio to get a breath of fresh air. While he was out there he ran into another pretty girl and he couldn't resist trying again. "Toby Biggs," he said, sticking out his hand. "Sierra Bradshaw," the girl responded a bit shyly. "I haven't seen you around before." "I go to private school," Toby said. "All boys, which stinks, let me tell you." "You don't say..." Sierra appeared to be quite charmed by Toby.

Later on, after Toby had surreptitiously collected four female phone numbers, the DJ started playing some good music for once so all of the teens headed out to the dance floor. Before long, things were really hopping!

"Say, Ivy, you're a pretty good dancer," Toby grinned, leaning in a bit closer than was strictly necessary. "You're not so bad yourself," Ivy grinned. "Aw, man..." random downtownie teen was rather disgusted by the whole thing. "With that guy on the scene, none of the rest of us are ever gonna get girlfriends. This sucks!"

"I hear you lit the bowling alley on fire last night as well," Don Thayer nodded as he strode past the engulfed microwave on his way to the dishwasher. "Ha ha, very funny," Toby complained. "Will ya help me get this thing out, Uncle Don?" "Geez, no need to panic," Don shrugged. He pulled out an extinguisher and coolly put out the flames. "Have you decided which one you like best yet?" At that moment, the phone started ringing.

Toby just winked and ran downstairs to answer the phone in his room. "Yeah, this is Toby," he said. "Who do I have the pleasure of talking to? ... Yeah, I remember you from last night. ... A date? ... My place? ... Sounds terrific! I'll see you in a few minutes, doll!"

"You mean I'm the only one who's called you?" Marylena asked when she arrived a few minutes later. "So far, anyway," Toby shrugged. "You're honest," Marylena said approvingly. "I like that. It's funny, though... the other ladies are more your type if I'm reading you correctly." "What... romance?" "Exactly," Marylena nodded. She looked around. "So... what are we

doing on this date, anyway?" "Why don't we head to my room and hang out?" Toby suggested. "Hanging out is all you'd better be doing," Toby's Uncle Tycho admonished from the sidewalk. "I promise to leave the door open and everything," Toby said, shooting a glare at his uncle. "C'mon, Marylena, let's get away from the grownups." "Sounds like a great idea to me," Marylena grinned.

A few minutes later, Susanna stopped by for a visit as well. "Babe, you'll be so proud of our kid," Gavin said, greeting his lover enthusiastically. "Mmf!" Anna replied. She wiped her face. "What's Toby gone and done now?" "Got his first girlfriend, that's what," Gavin grinned. "They're down

in his room right now--and don't worry, babe. Ty's keeping half an ear on them." "Good," Anna said. "I'm not ready to be a grandmother yet." "Wanna really traumatize them?" Gavin grinned. "What say we head down to my room, Anna?" "I like the way you think!"

"Whoa, it's kinda hot in here even with the door open," Toby said, fanning himself furiously. Now that he finally had a girl all to himself, he wasn't exactly sure what he should be doing. "Chill, Toby," Marylena chuckled. "I'm not looking to become your girlfriend or anything. I just think you're cute. What say we hang out and see what happens?" "I guess that's a good idea," Toby admitted. "Cool room," Marylena said admiringly. "I love cars," Toby said. "Once I move out for college I'm going to buy an old beater and restore it myself."

"That sounds awesome," Marylena said. "I"m pretty good with cars myself. Maybe I could help you work on it or something." "I'd like that," Toby said. He paused for a second and a disgusted look came over his face. "Oh man... mom must be over." "Why do you say that?" Marylena asked. Then she heard it too. "Is that... barking?" "Hang on," Toby said. "I'll turn on my stereo." "Good idea." Before long, a few hours had passed and Marylena was consulting her watch.

"I have to go," she said regretfully. "But I've had a really good time, Toby. You're way more normal than I thought you would be after the way you were acting last night." "Was I a total jerk?" he blushed. "Sorry... I like girls but I'm a bit clueless still." "Well, maybe this will help," Marylena said, and leaning in, kissed him gently on the lips. "Whoa," Toby said once they pulled apart. "I wasn't expecting that." "Call me again when you've got that car or something," Marylena

said with a wink, and she strode out of the room. "Catch ya later, Toby." "Later," Toby said breathlessly. He ran after you. "Maybe tomorrow night?" "We'll see," Marylena smiled. "I had fun, Toby. Despite the barking." "Ugh, don't remind me," Toby said. "Can I at least see you out the door?" "Sure."

Toby was still watching Marylena's retreating backside when his mother caught up with him. "How'd it go?" she asked slyly. "Oh, hey mom," Toby said absently, brushing his fingers against his lips for what was probably the fiftieth time. "That well, huh?" Anna grinned knowingly. "What's her name, kiddo?" "Marylena," Toby said. "And she's pretty sweet, but you and dad almost ruined it, mom!"

"Us? How?" "Barking!!!" "Err... sorry," Anna had the grace to blush. "Guess we must have gotten a bit carried away." "I'll say," Toby complained. "Geez, mom, way to ensure that I'm traumatized for life!" "You'll understand once you're in college," Anna grinned.

"I understand plenty now," Toby said. "And no guy wants to hear his parents getting it on while he's trying to kiss his first girlfriend. Trust me." "Well, you may have a point there," Anna conceded. "But other than that, how did it go?" "Pretty good," Toby admitted. "But tomorrow I think I'm going to invite Ivy over." "You're incorrigible." "I know."

Some things defy description. This is one of them.

But after wooing Vidcund in the photobooth downstairs, Marie decided to see if there were any other gents worthy of her time and worthy of helping her achieve her goal of twenty woohoos. It wasn't long before she ran across Orpheus Deity. Recognizing another romancer, Marie moved in for the kill.

And it wasn't that many hours later when she achieved that sweet, sweet state of perma-platness.

With that out of the way, Marie made a quick phone call. "Nick, could you stop by for a moment? Indulge your mother?"

"What is it you wanted to talk to me about?" Nick asked once he and Marie had settled on the couch. "Well... I may not look it, but I'm getting pretty old," Marie said. "I don't know that I have that many years left in me, son, and I'm certainly starting to feel my age." "Aww... you're going to live a long time still, ma," Nick said.

"Well, I certainly hope so," Marie said, "but there's no guarantee. Nick, I want you to take over my business."

"The pet store?" Nick's eyes just about popped out of his head. "I... don't know what to say!" "Just say yes," Marie smiled. "And it's yours." "Well... yes, in that case!" "Wonderful," Marie said. "If you'd like, I can show you around in the morning and introduce you to the staff." "That'd be terrific," Nick said. "How about I invite everyone else over and we celebrate with a good old family party?" Marie suggested.

Nick agreed that would be a fabulous party. Anna was in town and even brought Toby with her. The group did agree that Marie's place was a bit too small for mass smustling, though.

For some reason, Vidcund chose that awkward moment to come by. "Get rid of him, will you?" Marie asked Grace. "This is a family day, not a boyfriend day." "Eww," Grace muttered as she took in Vidcund's appearance. "Your wish is my command, mother."

"So you've given Nick the store?" Grace asked when dessert was served. "I thought he was the best choice," Marie nodded. "He and Green really do like animals. Speaking of businesses, how's yours coming along?" "Pretty well," Grace said. "I'm still trying to think up what the next one should be, but for now I'm just stockpiling the cash with the other four." "Why don't you ask Zing to help you?" Marie suggested. "He takes after you and Lee in that area." "You know," Grace said, "that's a terrific idea. Thanks mom!" "Just doing my job," Marie grinned.

It was a time for birthdays, and my husband and I were happy to celebrate our youngest daughter's ascent to teenaged wasteland. "Make a wish, Athena," I suggested. "But don't tell us what it is," Chris chimed in. "I wasn't born yesterday," Athena said witheringly.

She turned out pretty well, but you'll have to wait until part 2 to see her picture because it's pretty spoilertastic. In the meantime, while Athena was getting changed and fixing her hair, my husband and I headed outside to take care of a few things. "You shouldn't pet the wolves," I admonished him. "What harm could it do?" he asked. "Well, his eyes are glowing..." I trailed off.

"Ow! He bit me!" "Told you so."

"Something feels really... strange."

"OOOOOoooooooOOOOOO!" Men. They never listen. At least with his custom skintone he wouldn't be shedding everywhere. "And the hair's kinda cute like that," I added approvingly as I gave it a closer look. "Can I nibble on you?" he asked, obviously trying to sound seductive. "I don't do hairballs," I shuddered. "Sorry, dear, you'll have to do the freak thing by yourself."

"Somehow I doubt that, Sarah..." Well? Don't stop now--onward to part 2!