Chapter 33 – Love & Bureaucrats Part 2

A Piratical Legacy Chapter 33: Love and Bureaucrats - Part 2

"Vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" Laertes Smith was generally a happy child. He had a nanny that knew how to change diapers, a dad who visited practically every other day, and a yellow car to play with. Life was good.

But his very favorite thing was storytime with his mother, Ophelia. Every time she read to him, the story was different, even if it was from the same book. That was what he liked best. Ophelia, too, found herself looking forward to evening storytime with her young son. Some evenings she didn't really have time to clean up after work before Laertes was demanding that she read another one, but she didn't mind. When she was younger, she would have been appalled at the thought that she would spend more time than absolutely necessary in her stanky work clothes. But if it meant she got to read a story to Laertes before he had to go to sleep, she thought it worth the smell.

In fact, some evenings she didn't even make it back to her bedroom after tucking Laertes in for the night, let alone the shower. Knock-knock Ophelia jumped up off of the couch with a start and ran to the door. To her shock, it was morning--she'd spent the entire evening on the couch in her sweaty work clothes and she was in a foul mood.

"Could you at least call before coming over?" she snarled at poor Toby, who had really done nothing to deserve being yelled at. "I never call before I come over!" "Exactly," Ophelia glowered. "A girl would like some warning. As it is you don't come over enough. Laertes always wonders why you're not here when I get home from work."

"Well, if you want me to be here more often, then let me move in with you! Or move in with me! There is a solution, you know!" "I like my independence just fine!" Ophelia shouted. "I don't need you living here with me, cramping my style and watching me like a hawk. I don't need you at all! But Laertes does, and you're neglecting him!" "I'm giving him as much of me as I can without neglecting Persephone!" "Yeah, well, if you'd just managed to keep your pants on--"

"Don't start lecturing me about that," Toby growled. "What's with you today, Ophelia? You're not sugary sweet most of the time, but you're not usually a total b--" "Don't use that kind of language in my house," Ophelia grumbled. She sighed and looked at the floor. "Even when I deserve it. Sorry, Toby... I fell asleep on the couch and you woke me up when you knocked." "Oh," Toby blinked contritely. "Sorry about that, Opie. I thought you'd expect me--I always come over on Sunday mornings. Though I think I'm going to have to start bringing Persephone. She's

demanding to meet Laertes again." "If you bring her over, it means you'll have to spend all your time chasing after her instead of spending time with me before Laertes wakes up," Ophelia reminded him archly. "Hm," Toby nodded, eyeing Ophelia appreciatively. "That's a good point. Maybe it can wait til Persephone's old enough to babysit..." And, taking Ophelia's hand, he led her towards the couch. "I haven't showered since work yesterday."

"So? You're beautiful, Ophelia Smith. A little sweat never killed anyone. Besides, you're just going to work up more." They didn't talk much for some time after that. Until they were interrupted. "Daddy!" Toby and Ophelia jumped apart with a start. "How'd you get out of your crib, scamp?" Toby laughed, picking the toddler up and carrying him back down the hall. "Play with your toys a little longer, okay? I'll come play with you in a few minutes."

Laertes nodded solemnly and headed for his rabbit head while Toby returned to Ophelia. "Best make this quick before he comes exploring again," Toby said, shutting and locking the living room door. "Nah," Ophelia said, reaching for her clothes. "You have all the time in the world, Toby Biggs. You've made your point. I'll move in with you."

Laertes was a little surprised by the loud whoop of delight that promptly issued from the living room, but it didn't really disturb him. It sounded like daddy was happy, and that meant Laertes was happy. He just hoped that his dad would hurry up and come play with him already. ***

"Nooo... iz not hug tiemz," Rakshasi Buccaneer said loudly into the phone. "Terry, for the last time--I am not remotely attracted by your attempt at lolspeak. I'm kind of outgrowing that phase. Anyway, lay off the memeslang and I'll let you come to my party tonight. Yes, party. P-A-R-T-Y. No, my parents aren't out of town. They'll be there too. No! It's going to rock! Stop being a dork! Anyway, it starts at seven... whether you're here or not. Okay. Bye."

"This place is pretty hoppin'," Borusa Buccaneer said approvingly. "How come you always throw the best parties, 'Shasi?" "It's Rakshasi, and I don't know," Rakshasi shrugged. "Shere Khan calls you 'Shasi'," Borusa complained. "He's my brother. He can get away with stuff like that." "Is it can be tiem to calling you Shasi if I talks like a kitteh?"

"No! Not another one!" Rakshasi glowered. "What does it take to get through all your thick skulls that I don't find lolspeak attractive! Men!" And with that, she stopped the game of Red Hands they'd been playing and walked away to talk to someone else. "Hey! What'd I do?"

Rakshasi Buccaneer loved to throw parties. Sometimes they were just for the local teenagers of Pirate Island, and sometimes she invited people anyone she felt like seeing. But she loved parties. In fact, she loved parties almost as much as she loved research. "Great party, kiddo," Coxinga complimented her as the latest one got into full swing. He looked around approvingly. "So... are there any boys here that I have to beat up?" "What do you mean?" 'Shasi blinked. "Well, if I'm going to be a proper dutiful brother-in-law, that means I have to beat up any guy who takes an interest in you unless he

promises to treat you right." Rakshasi blinked. "Err... no. You don't have to beat anyone up. Unless you want to beat up your brother. Borusa's been staring at my corset since he got here." "Eh, he's a Romance sim," Zing shrugged. "He won't try anything unless you invite him. And you'd better not invite him! He's a Romance sim!" But Rakshasi just laughed and wandered off in search of her real crush.

While Terry Ottomas hadn't shown up for the party, he did agree to come home with Rakashasi after school the next day. "Our teacher has a very strange idea about what constitutes proper homework," he grumbled. "'Learn How To Play Chess'? That's not homework... it's torture!" "Yeah, but you're good at it," Rakshasi pointed out. "Almost as good as me, in fact." "Nah, I'll never be as good at this dumb game as you are. You're all

smart and stuff. My parents were always in aspiration failure and couldn't get us smart milk when James and I were toddlers." "Pshaw," Rakshasi scoffed. "Smart Milk doesn't really mean anything. So I get my homework done a little faster. It's nothing special." "I think you're pretty special," Terry contradicted. He stood up and pulled Rakshasi from her chair. "In fact, I think you're the most special girl at school."

At those words, Rakshasi couldn't help herself. She leaned forward and planted a kiss squarely on Terry's lips.

"I can't believe you're dating that guy," Borusa complained the next day when he came home with Rakshasi. "He's such a dork." "No he's not," Rakshasi protested. "He's really cool!" "He's a Romance sim," Borusa pointed out. "That means he's trouble." "You're a Romance sim too, and I don't hear you warning me about you."

"That's 'cause I'm not making a move on you... yet, anyway." "Oh? You were planning to in the future? I'm sure Tina would be thrilled about that." "Tina's younger than we are. We'll be at college for a whole two years before she gets there," Borusa said reasonably. "There's no reason you and I can't have some fun before she gets there. Besides, who stays with their highschool girlfriend or boyfriend these days?"

"Borusa Buccaneer, you're impossible," Rakshasi burst out laughing. "I like you as a friend. I'm going out with Terry Ottomas. End of story." "Oh, fine," Borusa said finally. "But you could do better." "It's not gonna work." "It was worth a try."

"Not really." "...no, not really. Okay, I'll lay off the flirting if you promise not to make out with Ottomas in front of me. Deal?" "No." "Figured." ***

"Is that Calico crying?" Ian Legacina sat straight up in bed, waking up his wife. Angora stared at him in sleep-muddled confusion for a moment. "Yes," she said after she'd listened. "But mom's got her. Go back to sleep, Ian." "Can't sleep," Ian muttered, throwing off the covers and getting out of bed. "Clowns will eat me." "What?"

"Oh, so you are awake," Ian teased. "Anyway, I'm up now." "Yeah, me too," Angie yawned. "Go ahead and shower first... I can wait." "You could always join me," Ian leered. "Not if mom and dad are awake!" Angora shuddered. But she blew Ian a kiss as he left the bedroom. "I'll take a raincheck, though."

"Letting the lovebirds have a lie-in?" Pierce asked when he happened across Rani giving their granddaughter a bottle in the kitchen. "They're awake," Rani nodded. "The shower just started running. But I was up, so when Calico cried I thought I might as well get her." "Like you need the excuse," Pierce scoffed. "You're completely enamoured of her." "So are you!" "It's my job," Pierce said, puffing out his chest. "I'm her grandfather. She's supposed to have me wrapped around her finger." "I think that's the general job description for 'grandparents', actually."

"Thanks for getting up with Callie this morning, mom," Angora said at lunch later that day. "It was nice not having to rush quite as much as usual." "Yeah," Ian said, though there was a faint note of disappointment in his voice. He didn't mind getting up for Calico in the slightest and actually kind of looked forward to it. Rani chuckled. "It was no problem. I do want more grandchildren, you know."

"Mo-om!" Angora blushed. "You're supposed to pretend that Callie was a product of immaculate conception!" "I know your father chooses to operate under that assumption, but I'm not one to think like that," Rani shrugged. "I'm a knowledge sim, darling daughter." Ian just ignored the conversation and focused on his lunch. This particular topic was getting to be a familiar refrain and he was becoming an expert at tuning it out.

"Anyway," Angora shrugged. "Ian and I aren't sure if we're going to have any more kids. We love Calico, and we're pretty content right now." "Just wait until she gets a bit bigger," Rani said knowingly. "Then you'll start getting the itch again--the itch to hold a tiny helpless infant in your arms and cuddle it." "You and dad only had me." "We wanted more," Rani shrugged. "It didn't happen." "I didn't know that." "We don't talk about it much," Rani said quietly. "I'm sorry, Angie. I won't bug you anymore about having more kids."

"So," Pierce said in a jovial voice, sitting down to join them. "What'd I miss?" Ian just gave him a long look, then burst out laughing. After a moment, Rani and Angora joined in. "Ah," Pierce said, picking up his fork and digging in. "Grandbaby talk. Well, carry on." Dinnertime at the Buccaneer-Legacina household tended to follow a pretty familiar pattern.

Some weeks later, it was a rather maudlin Angora who wandered into the nursery. "Come on, Callie," she murmured, reaching into her daughter's crib and picking her up. "Let's get your diaper changed... there are a lot of people downstairs who want to see you and you don't want to scare any of them off."

"Has it been almost two years already since our baby got married?" Rani said, her voice tinged with disbelief. "It really has," Pierce's tone echoed his wife's. "Time flies when you're having fun, I guess." "I guess," Pierce nodded. He hugged his wife close before grabbing her hand and leading her down the hall. "Come on... we don't want to miss anything!"

In the small spare room off the kitchen, a party full of guests had gathered. As Angora and Calico walked into the room, Ian led everyone in a rousing cheer. "Happy birthday Calico!"

Several voices joined in singing the traditional song as Angora held Calico over the cake and, leaning forward, blew out the candles.

Everyone who was at the party agreed that Calico was one of the most adorable children they'd ever seen. "But it's waaay past your bedtime," Ian chuckled once most of the guests had left. He carried Callie into the bathroom to wash her hands, face, and whiskers, which were smeared with the remains of the birthday cake. "No' tired." "Yes you are," Ian chuckled. "You can't stop yawning." "'Tory, daddy! 'Tory!" "Well... just one. But then it's bed for you, missie!"

It's unlikely there were any two prouder grandparents on all of Pirate Island than Pierce and Rani, though perhaps some of the myriad others might have argued the point. Both of them had retired from their jobs so they could babysit Callie full time and allow Ian and Angora to go back to work.

And the young couple put those hours to good use. It wasn't very long before Ian was promoted to the top of his career track. Angora wasn't as ambitious as her husband, but she worked her way up through the acting career until she found a job she loved.

"Well, here's to you, Ian," Rani said the morning after her son-in-law's final promotion. "Bit early to be drinking," Ian yawned, but he took a glass of blended juice anyway. "Yeah... about that," Rani blinked at him owlishly. "Your daughter entered the terrible twos last night with a vengeance. Drink up, sonny boy... you're going to need it!" Ian stared at her, then cocked his head. "Do you hear something?"

"DADDDEEEEEEEE! GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

Ian raced down the hall and into his daughter's room. Of course, by then Calico had managed to let herself out of her crib and was toddling around on the floor crying that her diaper needed changing. He dealt with that quickly enough and then sat down to spend some one-on-one time with her.

Ian's heart melted as he knelt down and gestured for Calico to try walking to him. She stared at him quizzically for a moment... and then, hesitantly, put one foot in front of the other. She'd done it! She was walking! "All right!" Ian chortled excitedly. Then a thought occurred to him. "Uh-oh... you're going to be into everything."

After getting himself and Callie dressed, Ian sat down with her in the nursery again. "Okay, Calico-kitty, what do you want to play?" he asked. "Patti-cake?" "No!" "Peekaboo?" "NO!"

"Sheesh," Ian muttered. "Terrible twos is right." "Wanna play.... sing a song!" "Sing a song?" Ian blinked. "Hicky dicky dock!" "Are you sure you wouldn't rather--" "HICKY DICKY DOCK!"

Ian cleared his throat awkwardly and sang out in a less than melodious voice. "Hickory dickory dock... the mouse ran up the clock... the clock struck one, the mouse ran down... hickory dickory dock!" But to Calico, it was exactly what she wanted. "Again!" she giggled, clapping her hands excitedly.

From that point on, "Hickory Dickory Dock" was the magic phrase that got Calico to behave. She was resisting being potty-trained? Sing the nursery rhyme to her and she'd comply right away. Wouldn't go to sleep? Two verses and she was out like a light.

"I think it's the bit about the mouse," Ian said to Angora while Calico played at their feet. "I think she just likes laughing at your singing voice," Angora teased gently. "A' done potty, mommy," Calico pointed out, gesturing at the pot. "Yes," Angora said, shuddering and looking away. "I can tell, Calico. Good girl! Now mommy's going to run downstairs and lose her breakfast again while daddy cleans it up! You play with your toys like a good child, okay?"

"I don't remember properly," Rani said, handing Calico a bottle while addressing her daughter. "Were you this sick when you were pregnant with Calico?" "Are you kidding?" Angora blinked. "I didn't leave the bathroom for my entire first trimester!" "Ah, so it's been exactly the same," Rani nodded. "Are you feeling well enough to take your daughter upstairs once she's finished that bottle and get her dressed?" "Yeah, I think so," Angora said, rubbing her stomach gingerly. "I don't think I have anything left to throw up, for one."

However, no sooner had she put Calico down on the floor of the nursery when Angora felt a strange sensation. Looking down, she saw that she'd popped with her second trimester bump and cheered. "Yes! No more morning sickness!"

"So you're going to be a big sister," Pierce said to Calico after her bath a few weeks later. "How do you feel about that? I guess with you getting so big, your mama decided she wanted another baby." "Big sister?" Calico blinked big eyes at her grandfather. "What that mean?" "It means there's going to be a new baby here soon," Pierce said, tossing her in the air and catching her. "But not until after your birthday." "Birtday!" Calico giggled. "That means presents! Baby means presents?" "Well, not for you most likely," Pierce chuckled. "But a baby means you'll always have someone to play with." "I guess dat's otay," Calico said after a moment's consideration. "Gran'pa! Airplane! Again!" And no more mention was made of babies.

"Hey shrooda, Robin!" Toshiko Buccaneer grinned, greeting the simself with the traditional Twikki Island 'hang loose'. "Err.... we're on Pirate Island, not Twikki Island," Robin (robinoli/omgrobinnn) pointed out. "Yeah, but the island spirit is gnarly. Besides, they've got the grooviest music. I've got a whole series of armaments keyed just to that." "You didn't bring them with you, did you?" Toshiko was known for exercising less than stellar judgement when it came to her explosive gadgetry. "Nah, not where the little kiddies might get ahold of them," Toshiko said regretfully. "Besides, it makes my boyfriend nervous if I'm carrying too much. He doesn't even like it when I carry a gun!" "I never thought I'd say this, but your boyfriend is a wise man."

Of course, the reason everyone had gathered together was to celebrate Calico's birthday. "Okay," Ian said, bending down over the candles with the fuzzy little girl. "Just like I told you. Blow out the candles once everyone starts singing, okay?" "Otay. When they sing? Now? SING NOW!" There were a few chuckles as the gathered crowd obediently started the traditional birthday song.

Calico had a liking for green, apparently. "Yeah, but this outfit sucks," she declared when her father pointed out that she'd grown up in green twice in a row now. "I'm gonna go see if I got anything better. Don't eat all the birthday cake!"

"So, you're that famous detective everyone's always talking about, right?" Athena Deity-Thayer cornered the handsome private eye in the living room before he could escape. "The one that was on TV?" "Err..." Sim Spade stammered. "You're way better looking in person," the blue-skinned woman purred, stepping a little closer. Sim gulped and turned around. Maybe if he ignored her, she would go away. "Hey!" Toshiko's voice rang out angrily. "What do you think you're doing, Athena?" "Err, just passing some time with the handsome movie star," Athena shrugged. "What's it to you?"

"I'll have you know he's not interested in you," Toshiko said sweetly. "So you might as well save yourself the effort." With a sniff, Athena flounced away, presumably to hassle somebody else. Toshiko pulled Sim off into the corner. "You owe me, sweet-cheeks." "Big time. Blue people scare me."

A few minutes later, Calico made an appearance, having chosen her new everyday outfit. "What do you think, Auntie Toshiko?" she asked Toshiko, twirling around for full effect before dropping onto the couch. "I think you look smokin'," Toshiko grinned. "Green and orange sometimes look a little scary together, but you make it work!" "I thought so too," Calico grinned. She paused for a moment, then turned to face Toshiko. "Auntie, what do you know about... bubbles?"

"Did I hear our daughter correctly?" Ian asked that night once all of the guests had left and the rest of the household was asleep. "Was she really asking Toshiko about bubbles? And dating?" With a mock groan he swept his very pregnant wife into his arms. "You did, I'm afraid," Angora chuckled, leaning in to press a quick kiss against Ian's lips. "There's no use denying it. Your daughter is a future Pleasure sim." "Terrifying." ***

"We're gonna have another grandbaby! We're gonna have another grandbaby!" Orikes (orikes/orikes360) chanted excitedly as she and her husband Will Pseudo grooved to the music in their sitting room. Hugo and Lainey had just broken the news. "Boy, they didn't waste any time," Will chuckled. "Orlando's how old?" "Eight months," Orikes grinned. "They're smart, you know. Having their kids while they're young enough to enjoy 'em." "Speaking of kids," Will said, stopping his groove. "Is that Orlando I hear now?"

It was, and Orikes headed upstairs to fetch him while Will prepared a bottle. "Hello grandbaby!" Will cooed at the gurgling infant. "Hello! Hello!" "Who's a good baby?" Orikes chimed in, bouncing the baby gently in her arms. "Do you want a bottle?" At the sound of her voice, Orlando opened his mouth wide. Laughing, Orikes picked up the bottle and popped it in the baby's mouth.

Lainey, for one, was very glad of her in-laws' assistance with baby Orlando. Their help meant that she could actually climb her career ladder while still being a good mother. With her pregnancy, it felt like all she did was eat, sleep, pee, and work.

Oh, and dash unceremoniously for the nearest washroom.

She was a relieved woman when she finally entered her second trimester one crisp fall morning, though right in the middle of preparing breakfast was perhaps not the best timing.

She decided to go to work anyway, even though she was now eligible for maternity leave. She was in line for a promotion and didn't want to wait until after the baby was born.

Shortly thereafter, it was time for a party at the Pseudo household and everyone who was anyone attended. "I can't believe my nephew's already a year old," Liv said, shaking her head as she stood in the living room of the home where she'd grown up. "And Lainey's pregnant again! Don't she and Hugo know what causes that?"

"I heard that!" Lainey yelled jokingly from where she was playing kicky-bag with Shere Khan. "Well, it's gross!" Liv called back. "He's my brother." "He is not, however, my brother," Lainey retorted. "And I find Hugo Pseudo quite irresistable." "My ears!"

And where was Hugo during the festivities? Why, upstairs getting his son ready for the party. A few minutes later he came downstairs. "Okay everyone," he announced as he walked into the kitchen. "Cake time!" Obediently, the throng assembled and blew enthusiastically on their noisemakers.

"Wow," Hugo said a few minutes later once he'd gotten his son changed and fixed his hair. "You look exactly like your mother."

He took his son downstairs and fed him a dose of smartmilk, but before the toddler training could commence Liv whisked her nephew out of his father's arms. "You are NOT monopolizing Orlando for the whole party," she scolded Hugo. "C'mon, kiddo... ever wanted to fly?" "Yay! Fly!" "That's the spirit, 'Lando. I bet I can make a Pleasure sim out of you. Have to carry on the family tradition, after all!"

Eventually the family and friends left and Hugo finally had a moment to spend with his son. He'd obligingly rolled the want to to teach Orlando all his skills, and Orlando wasn't too tired from the fuss and bother of the party, so the training commenced immediately.

Lainey, meanwhile, was not having a good time of things. She narrowly missed this happening AT the party. She, for one, would be glad when this pregnancy was over. When it came right down to it, this pregnancy was considerably more difficult than her previous one had been.

"Maybe it means I am having a girl," she told Hugo excitedly as they played a friendly game of Whap - football edition - in the back yard. "Ouch!" "Sorry," Hugo said contritely. And then ducked as Lainey whipped the ball back at him just as hard.

Orlando wasn't really cognizant of the general air of excitement pervading the household. He was still too young to realize what a baby was, other than that he was one.

Lila, on the other hand, knew exactly what a baby was. It was a small human. And they usually are a little sticky, smell a bit like peanut butter, and have bits of food stuck in their pockets.

Oh, and they firmly believe in strangleholds. Gack!

One morning the normal dull roar of the household was interrupted by Lainey's anguished shrieks. The baby was on the way!

"WHAT DO I DO?" Hugo yelped. He hadn't been present for Orlando's birth, after all. "Just hang on," Lainey panted. "It won't be much longer! Owwww!"

"Twins!" Lainey gasped when it was all over. "I did not think I was having twins!" "Both girls," Hugo said, caressing the baby he held in his arms gently. "What do we name them?" "How about Cate and Sarah?" Lainey asked. "Sarah for the one I am holding, and Cate for the one you are holding." "Beautiful names," Hugo agreed dazedly. "Can you believe it? Twins!"

"Do twins run in your family?" Lainey asked a few months later during a friendly game of Whap with Orikes. It had taken some time for the babies to start sleeping through the night, and this was the first time Lainey had had a full night's sleep since before Orlando was born. "Gah! Not so hard!" Orikes complained. "And no, twins don't run in my family. I'm a simself... I don't really have ancestors. I think you got bit by the superfertility bug. It happens to family sims sometimes, and Hugo is one." "Is that related in any way to the same sex pregnancy virus?" Lainey

asked, her eyes wide. "No," Orikes grunted, dodging as Lainey flung the ball at her head again. "They're completely unrelated." "Ah," Lainey said. But she still sounded slightly confused. "Does this mean that if Hugo and I wish to have another child we may end up having twins again?" "There's a good chance, yes," Orikes said, catching the ball finally. She put it in her pocket. "I think that's enough Whap for one day, don't you?"

It wasn't long after that before Lainey finally got back her pre-pregnancy body. "Lookin' good, Mrs. Pseudo," Hugo said approvingly. He gave her an appreciative look. "Hmm. What do you say we head upstairs and make another baby or two?" Lainey gave him a Look. Hugo blushed, and nothing more was said about babies other than the ones they already had.

It wasn't that Lainey didn't want more children someday, perhaps. It was just that the adults of the household (all four of them) were run a bit ragged caring for three very young babies. "Although you are worth every moment of missed sleep," she cooed tiredly at baby Sarah, who she'd just fed. Cate was still sleeping, thankfully. "Your bedroom isn't next to hers," Will joked, bouncing a just-fed Orlando on his hip. "I was up half the night walking Cate. I think she's teething again."

"Oh, I do wish you would call me, Will," Lainey said contritely. "Or Hugo. There is no reason for you to miss your sleep." "You both had to work this morning," Will said, waving a hand dismissively. "And Orikes let me sleep in. So don't worry about it." "I just do not wish to take advantage," Lainey said with a shy smile. "You're not, and I would tell you if you were," Will said firmly. He cocked his head. "Sounds like Cate is up. I'll go get her." "No, you sit and play with Orlando for a while. Hugo can get her."

"HUGO! Go and get your daughter!" "Just a minute!" Hugo said, pressing buttons frantically on his video game controller. "NOW, HUGO!"

"Thank you for getting the girls settled," Lainey said later that evening when she passed Hugo in the hall. "Just doing my job," Hugo panted, allowing the stationary bike to come to a stop. "Whew! Riding this thing's nothing like actually going for a run, but at least it gets the heart pumping." "Hop in the shower," Lainey said, throwing a wink at him. "And maybe I will join you once Orlando is tucked in." Hugo grinned and obediently headed towards the bathroom.

Time passed, and Orlando grew more adorable by the day. The entire family doted on him and his sisters. Really, this picture was only included to show just how cute Orlando is.

Of course, the couples also doted on each other. Orikes and Will insisted on embarrassing Hugo at every opportunity. And as for Lainey and Hugo--well, they were actively trying for another baby as frequently as possible, though they'd had no lullaby yet.

"Lila!" Orlando giggled, catching the family pet in yet another headlock. "Snuggles!" "Wuf!" the dog barked agreeably, thumping her tail on the floor with pleasure. She nosed around in Orlando's pocket and found half a cookie. "Share," Orlando said seriously, taking the cookie from the dog. He broke it roughly in half and fed one piece to Lila while he ate the other piece himself. "Yummy!" First kid I ever met that thought dog biscuits were a great snack, but who's complaining?

One Saturday afternoon, Hugo and Lainey managed to find a few minutes to themselves despite the day's hustle and bustle. "I can't believe it," Hugo sighed, shaking his head and pulling Lainey close. "Birthdays already." "All three of our children!" Lainey agreed. "They are getting so big!" "I know," Hugo said. "I wish we could keep them babies forever, but I guess that's not terribly practical." "Economical, though," Lainey mused. "Diapers and bottles are much cheaper than cell phones, ipods, and the like."

"They're not that old yet," Hugo said in mock horror. "No," Lainey agreed. "But it will not be long before they are. I think I will be very sad when we have no babies left. I am glad Cate and Sarah are only turning into toddlers." "Well, after the party we can always try for another one," Hugo winked. "We have been! I hope it happens soon." "Me too."

"All clean?" Will asked a short time later. "Yes, and she hated every minute of her bath," Hugo chuckled, cuddling Cate close. "I know," Will said, grinning. "We could hear her shrieks clear at the other end of the house. Your mother sent me upstairs to make sure you weren't murdering her granddaughter." "No, though she'd have you believe otherwise," Hugo joked. "Have the guests started arriving?" "Yep," Will nodded. "Might as well get started! We've got three birthdays to get through!"

Obligingly, Hugo headed downstairs to the room that used to belong to Uncle Nick and Green's pets. It had recently been remodeled into a party room. "Well, I guess Cate's up first," he said, bending over the pink-frosted cake with his daughter. "Happy birthday baby girl!"

With a shower of confetti, Cate grew up!

She was followed very shortly in the kitchen by her sister Sarah.

And then, almost unnoticed, Orlando leaned in and blew out his candles.

"Boy oh boy," Liv chuckled, scooping Cate up in her arms. "Three kids for me to spoil now! I can't wait until I can start promising you pony rides, puppies, and popsicles. Your parents are going to hate me!" "Luff you, Auntie Liv!" Cate crowed. "I love you too, stinker," Liv grinned back. Then she wrinkled her nose. "Stinker is right! HUGO!" ***

"Do you think Liv will like her fish tank?" Green asked his husband Nick excitedly. "I hope so," Nick said, bending down to peer at the fish. "Who's gonna get you little fishie?" "What is it with the fish tank and your side of the family?" Green asked dramatically. "I swear you're all obsessed with the frammin' thing." "Well, it's a fish tank," Nick replied, as though the answer was obvious. "They're contagious." "Whatever you say, dear."

"Arrr! Tell yer niece not t' ferget about findin' me rum!" "Did you get that?" Nick asked. "Yeah," Green said, tucking the notepad in his pocket. "Why the bear couldn't just tell Liv himself, though... she's got a Bear at college with her." "I think he's just lazy," Nick nodded, putting the bear down on the ground. "Aye, I am," the bear snorted. "And don't ye forget it, mate."

All thought of the bear's message to Liv was forgotten by the time the afternoon rolled around, however. "Wh-who are you hear for?" Nick asked, trembling. "Not... not Green?" "NO, I AM NOT HERE FOR GREEN, BROTHER," Susanna-the-Reaper replied. "NOR FOR YOU." "Then who?"

It was Rags. The happy little puppy Nick and Green had adopted just after their wedding, she had been elderly for several years, and her time had come. "Oh," Nick whispered, wiping back tears. "I hate it when pets die." "ME TOO. ESPECIALLY DOGS. THEY KEEP WANTING TO PLAY FETCH WITH THE SCYTHE." "I hope Liv finishes college soon..." ***

Not far from Nick and Green's cabin in the woods, life was coming to Pirate Island instead of death. Ephemeral Toast and her husband Justinian were not really prepared for the reality of parenthood that was thrusting itself upon them, but they didn't exactly have a choice in the matter. The baby was coming whether they were ready or not!

They had a red-headed little girl that they named Arta. Author's Note: Arta is the name given to the deity played by Ephemeral Toast in my husband's D&D Legacy, found on my sim page. Updated Note: The D&D Legacy has been archived and will be uploaded to my Slideshare account eventually, once I’m finished with the Pirates and Sim Spade.

It wasn't long before Arta's birthday rolled around, and all of the simselves were in attendance. Including some who haven't been played since having their immortality taken away. Some of the zotzed have permanent assignments to Sim Spade, which means they are effectively immortal until Sim is done with them.

In any case, family and friends gathered around the cute little Ikea end table hosting the cake as Toast prepared to toss the toddler.

General impression: ToastClone. Also: Adorable. Doesn't she look unspeakably devious? ***

Meanwhile, in a Deity's house up the hill and over the ridge... "Honey, did you just feel that?" "You mean this?" "Ack! No!" "Or this?" "No! Stop! Something's different."

"What do you mean?" "I think... I'm perma-plat! Yes!" "But... that means one of our kids had a baby. Was one of them pregnant?" "Not to my knowledge." "Why wouldn't they tell us?" "I don't know..."

"So is it okay if I have a party today after school? I promise I'll clean up and everything, and I won't doom anyone," my son Hades said eagerly. I knew that he wasn't the one to have had the baby. For one thing, he was a teenager. For another, he was a teenager. "I guess," I shrugged. "Who were you planning on inviting?" "Just the usual gang," he shrugged. "Spandrell, Borusa, Tina, the Ottomas kids, Caryl, Rakshasi..." "Ugh," I complained. "If you invite the legacy kids then the party pictures might end up in the next legacy update. That means I have to clean." "I'll do it, mom." "Well... okay."

So my house was invaded by a swarm of hormonal teenagers. What Hades hadn't told me was that most of them were paired off, at least after a fashion--James and Caryl, Borusa and Tina...

Rakshasi and Terry...

... and Hades and Spandrell.

Parent coming through!" I announced. "No PDAs in the hallway please!" "Mo-om!" All the making out was a bit too much for me, and I pulled the cranky old lady routine and ended the party at exactly ten o'clock. Okay, so I really ended the party because it was a school night. Does that make me a bad mother?

The next afternoon the horde was over again, but this time my daughter Athena was stopped by as well. She was in town, she said. After a nice long swim in the family pool, I pulled her inside to talk. There were Serious Matters we had to discuss.

"So," I said without preamble. "I'm perma-plat." "Really?" her eyes widened. "Congratulations! What was your lifetime want again?" "Six grandchildren," I said. "Oh, how nice," she said vaguely. "Who had a kid? Was it Dionysus? I've told him he ought to be more careful with that girl he's dating." "No," I said. "Valerie's still in college. Actually... I was kind of wondering if it was you."

"ME?" she screeched. She gets her lungpower from me. I suppose I should be proud. "Why would you think I had a baby?"

"Um, because Artemis and Demeter's kids are adults, Herc's kids are elders, Dionysus' girlfriend is in college, and Hades is a teenager," I said. I chuckled a bit. "You're the only one who makes sense."

"Well, you're mistaken," Athema scowled. "Look at me. Does it look like I recently had a baby? And besides, why wouldn't I tell you if I did? Why would I lie?"

"I don't know," I said thoughtfully. "You do look good... but that doesn't mean anything. It's not a good idea to lie to your mother, Athena. She will invariably find out the truth. And when your mother is a potentially vengeful deity, it's doubly unwise. "I hope you haven't lied to me, daughter. Because if you have... I'll find out. And it won't be pretty. There's a mystery here, and I'm not giving up until I've solved it." To Be Continued...