WritingA

GoodManuscript

InEnglish

Kathleen RocklandRIKEN Brain Science Institute

NSR Author workshop 2008/July/09

Have something to say.

Say it clearly.

Organization!!

How?

1. It’s difficult !!!

2. Get help !- - colleagues- - manuals- - self-help (analyze published articles)

3. It’s the logic ! (More than “the” or “a.”)

1.Repeating. Usually, once is enough, especially within a paragraph. (That is, cultural differencesabout “completeness.”)

2.Usually, put the main thought or main point at thebeginning. Do not “build up” to it.

3. If you can give a specific number or quantity, doit (not: “some” “a few” “many”).

Cultural bias

Words have connotations.

Negative Neutral Positive

inexpensive

unusual

clear

basic

simple

cheap

odd

obvious

primitive

good value

distinctive

clear

fundamental

Avoid qualifiers (These are too weak or vague).

X We sometimes found….X We usually found….X We generally observed….

We found (18 of 20) that….X We tried to quantify [attempted to].

We quantified….

Use emphasis.clearlyfor the first timesignificantly advance

Some words create a negative impression. Use sparingly!

– although– seems; appears– is believed to be involved

Evidence suggests…Current views hold…

– studythese experimentsthis investigation

describe, report, present evidence, demonstrate, found, observed, indicate, explore, analyze, investigate

– may be; might be– probably

Despite the advantages of this new technique as described here, there are also limitations for it.

Despite the advantages of this new technique as described here, there are also limitations for it.

Be succinct (brief)

Example:

Shorter is usually better.

(OK) Several recent reports have re-addressed the identity of the claustrum, taking into account connectional, chemical, or molecular features.

Better: Several recent reports have re-addressed the connectional, chemical, or molecular identity of the claustrum.

(OK) Netrin-G2 expression is selectively elevated in cortical layer 6, the source layer of cortico-claustral projections.

Better: Netrin-G2 expression is selectively elevated in layer 6. Interestingly, this is the source layer of cortico-claustralprojections.

Keep subject and verb close together.

(OK) The claustrum, a phylogenetically conserved structure, has reciprocal connections with widespread cortical regions , and has been associated with sensory and emotional coordination or integration.

Better: The claustrum is a phylogenetically conserved structure with reciprocal connections with widespread cortical regions. It has been associated with…

Thus, expression is …

Try to use short sentences.

“X and Y did not result in any differences, showing that …”

“X and Y did not result in any differences. showing that …”

On this basis …

From this…

Be Specific!

Distribution of Netrin-G2 mRNA at several different rostral-caudal levels.

Distribution of Netrin-G2 mRNA at seven different rostral-caudal levels.

X

Often better to state something as a positive.

“Thus, we do not agree with previous findings.”

“In contrast with previous findings, we would suggest …”

G. D. Gopen, J. A. SwanAmerican Scientist, 1990

• Readers do not simply read; they interpret.

• Information is interpreted more easily and more uniformly if it is placed where most readers expect to find it.

• Since we read from left to right, we prefer the context on the left, where it can more effectively familiarize the reader. We prefer the new, important information on the right, since its job is to intrigue the reader.

319

296

3212

3215

273

250

temperature (°C)

time (min)

931

629

1232

1532

327

025

time (min)temperature (°C)

context: information: context:information:

X

“Effects of Humidity on the Growth of Avalanches”

“Some Thoughts on Minicolumns”

A strong title orients readers to your area of work.

Some Thoughts on Minicolumns: Pros and Cons

Some Negative Thoughts on Minicolumns

Minicolumns: Still Controversial

Minicolumns: Still Controversial?

Introduction

BackgroundUnknownControversy

“To investigate similarities and differences of…., we performed.”

As an opening (Abstract or Introduction), this is too descriptive!

“To determine how X differs in development, we….”

or

X is known to have transient changes in development. In order to specify….

Just state what you have done, and then give the motivation:

“In this study, we identify three subtypes. We developed a new, sensitive modification….”

Just State IT

Both cerebel lum and neocortex receive input from the somatosensory system. Interaction between these regions has been proposed to underpin the correct selection and execution of motor commands, but it is not clear how such interactions occur. In neocortex, inputs give rise to population rhythms, providing a spatiotemporal coding strategy for inputs and consequent outputs. Here, we show that similar patterns of rhythm generation occur in cerebellum …. As in neocortex, gamma rhythms were dependent on GABAA receptor - mediated inhibition, whereas VFOs required only nonsynaptically connected intercellular networks. The ability of cerebellar cortex to generate population rhythms within the same frequency bands as neocortex suggests that they act as a common spatiotemporal code within whichcorticocerebellar dialog may occur.

Example:

We examined the expression pattern of synaptic proteins in…. In total, we examined over x molecules using proteinand mRNA assays….

We found that a vast majority of proteins were clearly co-expressed in each area of the brain.... It was apparent, however by comparison of the datasets, that there was variation in the expression p a t t e r n o f t h e s e g e n e s . W e

therefore classified expressionpatterns by….

Example:

Discussion -- If you open with a summary, don’t just list!

X We showed xx in the limbic cortex of rabbits. We performed…. We also performed….

Our results present new evidence….

By using x with a novel improvement, we report three main results.

Understanding the origins and evolution of synapses may provide insight into species diversity and brain organization. Using X and Y, we re-examined.... We found marked changes…. We propose t h a t t h e e v o l u t i o n o f s y n a p s e complexity…. has contributed to….

Example:

Beware of philosophizing

“These findings may underlie the synthesis of cognition, emotion, and action.”

HOW?

“Disturbance of these connections may underlie the pathology in psychiatric conditions by an imbalance in this intricate circuitry.”

HOW?

1）Michael AlleyThe Craft of Scientific Writing (Third Edition) 1996ISBN:0387947663http://books.google.co.jp/books?id=o302kOKFnhYC

2）George D. Gopen and Judith A. SwanThe Science of Scientific WritingThe American Scientist (Nov-Dec 1990), Volume 78, 550-558http://www.amstat.org/publications/jcgs/sci.pdf

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