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VOLUME THREE

I S S U E 33

08.14.14

"Ifyou

wantto

tellpeoplethetruth,maketheml

augh

-otherwise,

they'llkillyou.

"

OscarWilde

$2,

096,

221.

15

SAWS vs Comal Spr ings | Gary vs Appraisa l Distr i c t | Man vs Giant Burr i to

VOLUME THREE

I S S U E 33

08.14.14

PLUS : 7 DAY NEW BRAUNFEL S L IVE MUS IC GU ID E

PLUS : 7 DAY NEW BRAUNFEL S L IVE MUS IC GU ID E

THE

KING'SCUPCAKE

Page 6

THE

KING'SCUPCAKE

Page 6

FRI, AUG 15Bell Time: 9pmFRI, AUG 15Bell Time: 9pm830.379.8883 HWY 46, 2 MILES PAST CLEAR SPRINGS

TICKETS AT THE DOOR: $20 KIDS TICKETS: $15 RINGSIDE: $30

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table of contents

8Citizen

SoundcheckThe ONLY guide of i ts kindfor the NB/SM Metroplex!

5Cover StoryTeresa and the Elvis cupcake.

13

12The CountysMost WantedLook Mommy!Daddys in the paper!

Ask a MexicanGustavo offends intwo languages.

15Last Word

Colby says "impotent".Office staff chuckles.

14 SportsBurrito gorging at Las Palapas.

1st WordThe Comal Springs continue

to dry up, while the Islanderscontinue to chase people out

of a state waterway.3

Hot in the KitchenOur diva of the dish gets

her goulash on.

11Ombudsman

Opa Karl is all ears andready to believe you.

Due ProcessRathbun vs Scientology4

Around & AboutI t 's a Jeep thing,

yo u wo ul dn' t un der st and .6

Sound Out of TownBecause Austin, San Marcos andSan Antonio occasionally havelive music too.10

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You Like Water?Just thought wed keep you up

to date on local spring flows,you know, since our previous

Mayor signed control of them

over to the San Antonio Water

System. But first, a photo of the

Comal from last Weekend:

Have a nice walk

As of press time:

Comal Old Channel 51cfs

Comal New Channel 28cfs

Remember, according to a former City

Staffer, SAWS had a HUGE fear that wed

sue them to keep the flows at 200cfs, so that

same staffer got us to sign onto EARIP andgive up our right to do that. Perhaps former

Mayor Pospisil thought she was Mayor of San

Antonio instead of New Braunfels. That would

explain all of this.

Note to Mayor Casteel: Youre a lawyer.

Please get us out of EARIP. Thank you.

Accident Waiting to HappenHeres a truck driver realizing that the truck

hes driving cant fit through the Landa Streetunderpass, despite multiple sign-based warnings:

Good thing fire engines are made

out of foam rubber #tightsqueezeNo plan to improve clearance there,

but fortunately theres a six-figure deal in the

works to beautify the underpass.

The Forbidden IslandThe number one question we get on a weekly

basis is this: Whats going on with the

Forbidden Island of Booneville Avenue? The

answer is the same as ever. People swim, people

paddle, Islanders harass said people until theygo away, and nothing will ever change until

somebody stands up the bullying.

This week, we got a new

question. A local lady asked us

for information on swimmingdown there. Our answer

seemed so helpful, we thought

youd enjoy it as well.

First of all, youve got to find

a way into the water. Theyve blocked

off all of the city streets that end at the river,

so youll have to go around the barricades.

Case law has established, over and over again,

that its illegal to prevent people from entering

waters from the ends of streets, but youll have to

circumvent the barriers nonetheless.

Then go for a swim. Youll be yelled at

and threatened, at which time youll have to

make a decision to go away or stay put. If

you leave, youll embolden the Islanders. We

suggest you stay. The Islanders will probably

call the police and attempt to have you cited

for trespassing. So far, police have shown up in

these instances, but have refused to issue ticketsfor trespassing. Take the bull by the horns and

call the police yourself and report that youre

being harassed. If you can get them to issue

a ticket for harassment, consider yourself on a

roll. Were guessing the police dont really want

to deal with any of this. In any case, the first

party to call them usually has the edge.

Let us know what happens. Well assist

in your defense should you be cited fortrespassing (but not for any other offenses, so

dont punch anybody). The odds are the police

will try to talk you into leaving. We recommend

that you ask to be arrested, cited, or left alone

to swim. Press the issue. Demand a police

decision. The Islanders have gotten away with

this harassment for decades, and until a judge

rules against them or people see that the threats

are meaningless, theyll continue to.

Get a waterproof case, bring your

phone, and record the harassment. The

recording is important, as youll be accused

of all manner of tomfoolery if you cant prove

otherwise. Besides, wed love to have video of

the harassment to post on our Facebook page.

Enjoy your swim.

\m/

Mike Reynolds

Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

MIKEREYNOLDS

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Update:Rathbun vs ScientologyMonique Rathbun argues that a local judge

was correct when he rejected the Church ofScientology Internationals bid to have her

lawsuit dismissed on First Amendment grounds.Rathbun is suing CSI and other related

persons and entities for what she says was asustained period of harassment and surveillance.The Church admits to sending its personnel to

confront and spy on Rathbun and her husband,Marty Rathbun. However, CSI argues that the

actions were taken against Marty Rathbun for

criticizing leader David Miscavige and foroffering Scientology services outside the Church.Marty Rathbun was once a high-ranking memberof the Church and has accused Miscavige of

physically abusing Church employees.CSI is seeking to dismiss Monique

Rathbuns suit, claiming that it violates theChurchs First Amendment rights. The Churchutilized the Anti-Strategic Lawsuit Against

Public Participation law (Anti-SLAPP), which

is intended to protect people from being suedand silenced by large, powerful entities.

In April, Judge Dib Waldrip, whose district

includes Comal County, rejected the ChurchsAnti-SLAPP motion on the grounds that its conflictwith Marty Rathbun was a business dispute,

thus the measure does not apply. Waldrip alsosaid that Anti-SLAPP does not apply because

Monique is claiming physical injury and duressstemming from the harassment. The judge also

denied that her lawsuit is based on, related to,or is in response to the Churchs exercise of itsFirst Amendment rights.

CSI promptly appealed to the Third Courtof Appeals, arguing that Waldrip was wrong

in his ruling, going as far as to accuse thejudge of being hostile to Scientology.

Leslie Hyman, who prepared the appeal

response as part of Moniques legal team,wrote in the brief to the Third Court of Appeals

that CSI was misusing the Anti-SLAPP lawto shield the Church from responsibility for

stalking and harassment and Moniques suitis about the right to be left alone.

The main thrust of Hymans argument

on behalf of Monique is that, by CSIs ownadmission, the conflict between Marty and

Church was one of a business nature. CSI saidthat it ordered the surveillance of Marty to seewhom he was offering Scientology services to,

and to investigate what the Church says weretrademark and copyright violations for using

its materials. The Anti-SLAPP law cannot be

used in a suit arising from a business dispute.

Many times during the course of severalhearings, lawyers hired by the Church

referred to Marty as operating a Scientologybusiness. Waldrip argued that if Marty wasoperating a Scientology business, then the

Church is as well.Indeed, Moniques appeal response

quotes one of CSIs attorneys as defining, incourt, the organization as an administrative

business entity.CSI cannot have it both ways, Hyman

argues. If it wishes to claim that its actionsin harassing Mrs. Rathbun had a commercial,business purpose, it must suffer whatever

consequences come with that decision.The Church charges fees for all of its

services, which can reach as high as thousandsof dollars. The services are mandatory for

Scientologists. As well, members must alsopurchase numerous writings from founder and

science-fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard.In fact, Hyman argues that the Anti-SLAPP

motion is, in essence, legal harassment by the

Church. The Church of Scientology has longbeen accused of abusing the legal system by

dragging out lawsuits against it. More thanonce in the brief, Hyman uses Hubbards own

words that the purpose of the suit is to harassand discourage rather than to win.

Hyman also defends Waldrips rulingagainst CSI on the grounds that Monique isclaiming bodily injury, which is immune from

Anti-SLAPP. Waldrip said that only a full trialwould be able to establish whether Moniques

claims are legitimate, thus to throw out the suitwould be unfairly premature.

Monique has claimed that the sustainedharassment and surveillance caused her

migraines, anxiety, fears of strangers,nausea and sleeplessness. Hyman notes thatMoniques claims fall within Texas definition

of bodily injury and cites a Texas Supreme

Court ruling that emotional distress can be acause of bodily injury.Hyman then argues that Moniques suit

does not violate, nor is in response to theChurch practicing its First Amendment rights.The attorney says that Church officials visited

Moniques family, friends, coworkers and ex-husband to disparage husband Marty with

personal and dubious information. Hyman saysthat since such information does not qualify as

a public discourse, the suit is not a violation ofthe Churchs First Amendment rights.

Nick Rogers covers courts and crime for the TX Citizen.

Due ProcessWITH NICK ROGERS

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8/11/2019 TX Citizen 8.14.14

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Elvis has left the building and is now in my belly.

Elvis has become an American musical

archetype, so much so that he is simply referred

to as The King. This is for good reason. Rockmusic may have died as simply a fad had it

not been for Elvis, who launched the genre into

musical primacy. He was rocks first global star.

And he was cool. With his striking good looks

and resonant voice, Elvis embodied 1950s

rebellion, sporting chinos, eye shadow and

fingernail polish. In fact, the King is so famous

that other musicians have written songs about

him, which makes him Meta Elvis.

But the pressing question we all want ananswer to is: What does Elvis taste like?

He tastes amazing.

For those who love Elvis, or those who

simply love cupcakes, Sweet Dreams Bakery

has blended all of the Kings favorite flavors

into its signature Elvis Cupcake.

Sweet Dreams owner Teresa Garcia, who

is originally from Matamoros, Mexico, grew

up in love with Elvis during the 50s and 60s.

In Matamoros, we didnt get the Spanish

TV channels, she said. We got the channels

from the United States, so they would play

Elvis movies. I couldnt understand everything

they were saying, but I loved them.

When asked what she loved about Elvis,

Teresa said, Everything.

He was so, so handsome, she said.

I would watch his movies and say, Oh, my

God. Hes so good looking.Teresas daughter, Kirti Kana, who also

works at the bakery, said that the idea for the

cupcake came about as she and her mother

were watching a documentary about Elvis.

The documentary was talking about

Elvis favorite foods, and my mother said, Wecan do that. We can make a cupcake out of all

of those ingredients, Kirti said.

Thus, a cupcake legend was born.

(Before describing the beauty of this

cupcake, I wanted to say that because of my

respect for you, dear readers, I will spare

you the expectant clich puns that would be

inevitably delivered by more blas newspapers.

You will not find any jokes using Elvis songs

and lyrics, such as: All Shook Up, LawdyMiss Clawdy, Hunka, hunka, Do the

Hucklebuck, Surrender, et-freakin-cetera.)

The cupcake is a blend of chocolate cake

infused with banana cream. The icing is a

mixture of cream cheese and peanut butter

drizzled with caramel. And, as a bonus,

the cupcake is topped with a small slice of

caramelized bacon.

These seemingly divergent flavors blend

together into a surprising whole. Even though I

could taste the ingredients separately on the first

bite, the pastry never became a cacophony. This

is because as the moist cupcake rapidly melted

in my mouth, the flavors joined together in a

harmony that would do the Jordanaires proud.

The lightly salted bacon sensitized my

palate (which, honestly, is not that sensitive)

and put my taste buds in overdrive for the

next bite of sweetness. The bacon also helpedthe different flavors blend together that much

better. I ate my piece of bacon midway through

the cupcake. This refreshed the exiting flavors

while preparing my taste buds for more. Salty

and sweet mixtures are a traditional, thus

successful, culinary tactic. Think, for example,of the number of candy bars that are based

upon nuts and chocolate.

Teresa worked hard to try and find just

the right bacon for the cupcake. At first, the

bacon was harder, crunchier. But we found a

softer type of bacon that blends better with the

cupcake, she said.

And, like the King himself, this cupcake is

rich. You eat one of these mamas, and youre

more than satisfied for some time.The Elvis Cupcake is exquisite baking

alchemy that, unlike more traditional forms of

alchemy, tastes great and doesnt blow up.

I am obviously not the only one who is

impressed by how good this is. The Elvis

Cupcake is the bakerys biggest seller and

Sweet Dreams sells dozens of them a week.

A lot of men buy the Elvis cupcake,

daughter Kirti said. We get a lot of wives

coming in to buy them for their husbands.

But why do guys love the Elvis Cupcake so?

I think it might be the bacon, Kirti said.

Guys love bacon.

This is true. The Elvis is a manly pastry

(a man cake, if you will). One bite and even

the most passive gentleman will lurch over the

cupcake, wrap his arms protectively around it

and snarl at passersby. I know I did.

For those of you who love the cupcakeor have never tried it, this is a good week to

grab one because Saturday, Aug. 16, marks

the 37th anniversary of the Kings death. So

go ahead, get a cupcake and think of Elvis.

Though already moist and tender, the cupcake

can withstand a few man tears.Besides the Elvis, Sweet Dreams has a

rather impressive assortment of cupcakes.

Women, Kirti said, seem to prefer strawberry

or the chocolate ganache. Kids, she said, love

the Big Red, which is a cupcake that has been

soaked in Big Red soda (Warning: Do not give

this cupcake to children before naptime).

Teresa said one of her favorites is the

Oreo Cupcake. I love the chocolate cupcakes

the most, she said.I also tried the bakerys Nutella King,

which is a vanilla cupcake stuffed with Nutella

and topped with cream cheese icing sprinkled

with pecans. The cupcake was so good I would

have wept, but I was saving my tears for Elvis.

Truthfully, I think the Nutella King should be

part of the food pyramid.

One of the reasons Sweet Dreams wares

are so good is because Teresa and Kirti are

always trying to improve.

We want our customers to tell us if they

think we could do something better, or what

they do and dont like, Teresa said. Its very

important to want to improve, to get even better.

Sweet Dreams Bakery, which just more

than a year old, is located at 989 Loop 337

in the shopping area next to Buffalo Wings

& Things. The Bakery is open 8 a.m.-3 p.m.

Tuesday-Friday, and on Saturday from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. or until they are sold out. Their phone

number is 830-626-5523.

COVER STORY:THE KINGS CUPCAKE

COVER STORY:THE KINGS CUPCAKE

by Nick Rogersby Nick Rogers

8/11/2019 TX Citizen 8.14.14

7/16TXCITIZEN.COM 7

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Thu 8.14

Adobe Verde

Megan Ford6pm

Freiheit Country StoreDavid Selbo

7pm

Mountain Breeze Camp GroundWilliam Stewart

7pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenJam Night

6pm

Phoenix SaloonJeromy Hooper

5pm

Rileys TavernPete Benz

9pm

AJs Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show

9pm

Billys Ice HouseMoonlight Social

8pm

Gruene HallChris Isaak

w/ Dawn & Hawkes

7pm, $65

The Pour HausClint Tomerlin & the Turnarounds

7pm

River Road Ice HouseJason Michael Carroll

8pm

Fri 8.15

Adobe VerdeJJ Gar rett Band

6:30pm

The Happy CowRyan Mars Band

8pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenPardo & Reed

6pm

Phoenix SaloonBroseph

5pm

The Bigsbys

9pm

Rileys Tavern

Amanda Jo Cevallos

9pm

AJs Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show

9pm

Alpine Haus RestaurantOff the Grid Polka Band

6pm

Billys Ice HouseJohn Baumann

8pm

Gruene HallSeth James Band

w/ Bobby Mack

7pm, $8

The Pour Haus210 Blues Band

8pm

Vineyard at GrueneMikey Rivera Jr

7pm

Vino en VerdeKennCentric w/ LeAnn

8:30pm

Sat 8.16

Adobe Verde

Brett Hendrix Band

6:30pm

Black Whale Pub

TBA

9pm

The Happy Cow

Opie Hendrix

8pm

Mountain Breeze Camp Ground

Alibi

7pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Cold Snap

1pmThe Jamie Krueger Band

6pm

Phoenix Saloon

Adam Johnson & the Pay Mes

9pm

Rileys Tavern

Billy Dee Band

9pm

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AJ s Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show

9pm

Billys Ice HouseAustin Gilliam

9pm

Bubbas Big DeckJunior Nash

1pm

Gruene HallWhite Ghost Shivers

1pm

The Marshall Tucker Band

w/ Tom Gillam

8pm, SOLD OUT

NB Farm to MarketPete & Sean

9:30am

The Pour HausDirty White Horse

9pm

River Road Ice HouseSpazmatics

8pm, $10-$25

Vineyard at GrueneApril Hall

7pm

Vino en VerdeD Rock & J Scott

9pm

Sun 8.17

Adobe Verde

Jeremy Steding

6pm

The Happy Cow

T-Bone & the Bluetones

4pm

Oma Gruene s Secret GartenThe Blues Buzzards

2pm

Monty Guitar Tyler Band

7pm

Phoenix SaloonThe Groovehounds

3pmTrue Audio Outland

7pm

Billys Ice HouseDan Adams

8pm

Bubbas Big DeckYears Gone

3pm

Geronimo VFW #8456Glenn Collins & Alibi

3pm

Gruene HallLost & Nameless Orchestra

12:30pm

Ponty Bone & the Squeezetones

5pm

The Pour HausD Rock & J Scott

7pm

Vineyard at GrueneDouble Down

3pm

Mon 8.18

Rileys TavernSongwriter Showcase

w/ John Whipple

8pm

Gruene HallChris Ruest Band7pm

The Pour HausTony Taylor

7pm

Tues 8.19

Watering Hole SaloonTBA

8:30pm

Comal Country Music ShowKC Hall

RJ Smith, Arnold Parker, Sammy Dale6pm

Gruene HallTwo Ton Tuesday

8:30pm, $5

The Pour HausOpen Mic w/ Jon Magill

8pm

Wed 8.20

Phoenix SaloonBrian Pounds

8pm

Rileys TavernTBA

9pm

Watering Hole SaloonTBA

8:30pm

Billys Ice HouseAaron Stephens

8pm

Gruene HallChubby Knuckle Choir

7pm

The Pour HausHadlock Brothers

7pm

River Road Ice HouseThe Texas Jamm Band8pm

Vineyard at GrueneZack Walther

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Fri 8.15

Cheatham Street Warehouse

Jackie Venson

9pm

The Continental Club

Club Lineup:

The Blues Specialists, 6:30pmThe Original Bells of Joy

w/ The Relatives

10pm, $15

Gallery Lineup:

Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm

Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

Floores Country Store

Mike & the Moonpies

w/ Robert Banta

8pm, 18+, $8-$10

Luckenbach Dance Hall

Ben Beckendorf

4pm

Cody Jinks

8pm, $10

Red Eyed Fly

Holy Ka-Kow, Somewhere In Between,

Superette, Seno, The Red Tent

9pm, Outside

Sams Burger Joint

David Ramirez

8pm, $10-$40

Stubbs BBQ

Whalers

w/ Nic Armstrong

9pm, Inside, $10

Sat 8.16

The Continental ClubClub Lineup:

Tribute to the King, 6:30pm, $28

Texas Blue Dots

w/ Rockin Bonnie

10pm, $10

Gallery Lineup:

Hillary York, 8:30pm

Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

Cowboys DancehallGranger Smith

7pm, 21+ $20, 18+ $25

Floores Country StoreDoug Moreland

8pm, 18+, $8

Luckenbach Dance HallSouth Austin Moonlighters

1pm

Charlie Shafter & Courtney Patton

9pm

Red Eyed FlyThe Swamp Bats

Inside, 10pm

Awesome Death, Our Last Daze,

Loving Ugly, Cities Between, Void Star

9pm, Outside

R & J Music Pavillion

Natalie Rose9pm

Sams Burger JointRally of the Lost, The Uprising

8pm

Stubbs BBQ

Transcontinental Trip

w/ Henry & the Invisibles

9pm, Inside, $5

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Private Parties- Catering

Wedding Facilities Available

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We penetrate 10,000 of these:

52 TIMEs a yearTHEY LIKE WHAT THEY SEE. MAKE SURE THEY SEE YOU.ADVERTISE HERE 830.358.2493

Dear X Citizen:

You guys want to be entertained

by your tax $$$$ (you already paid for

the show) show up the week of August

18 and sit in on one of the Comal

Appraisal Review Board meetings.

You would think you are in the 1950s

at a very primitive process that our

Appraisal District runs. Or just walk

into the new building and watch all

the employees being unproductive --

thats a little entertainment too. Never

worked for the county so that might be

the norm sorry. Who made the decisionto buy that huge building to house the

Appraisal District? Maybe thats why

the county taxes continue to increase

to pay for the new buildings and an

old outdated Bubba system. If you are

a Bubba of someone in the building

they will lower your taxes believe me.

If not you are paying! With the volume

of new houses and new companies

in Comal County our taxes should be

going down-right.

If you get a chance come see

another Comal County Bubba system

out of control.

Comal/New Braunfels is a great

place to live. We just need to correct how

our County/City is run.

Tanks for listening.

See ya,Gary Brooks

Dear Gary:

I sincerely understand how you feel.

Several years ago, I attempted to see if

I could live without any material possessions.

As a result, I was living in a cardboard box

in an alley. My annual property taxes ran

$6,000. Admittedly, my cardboard box homewas a two story with three bedrooms and two

baths, along with a Jacuzzi. Still, because it

was a cardboard box in an alley, I thought that

$6,000 was a bit steep.

After that experience, I decided to look

into how our property tax rates are set in Comal

County. While I understand your frustrations,

it is unfair to label the process as a Bubba

system. The truth is that tax assessments are avery complicated, if antiquated system that is

more than 150 years old.

Firstly, the appraisal district looks at the

square footage of your home and the area

in which the home sits. Then, the square

footage and average property prices of

your area are numerically plugged into a

complicated derivative formula, which is

based on the price of opium.

Secondly, the figure produced by the

derivative is sent to workers at the appraisal

district to double-check the calculations.

Because the system has not been changed

in more than 100 years, the workers must

tabulate those figures using chicken bones.

What you perceive as unproductive

behavior is likely just the workers waiting for

the next shipment of chicken bones.

In the third step, the approved

appraisal figures are sent to the Comal

County Illuminati. There, robed ancestral

descendents use questionable magic to

call on the restless spirits of their ancestors

to approve or disapprove the figures. If

approved, the numbers are sent to the

various taxing entities. If disapproved, the

figures are sent back for reexamination.

If those ancestral spirits just happen to

say that their wealthy Illuminati descendents

should only pay a property tax of $2 and

a bucket of cheese, what can you do? The

spirits have spoken.

Also, it was these ancestral spirits

who ordered the building of the massive

Appraisal District building. The building had

to big enough to house a large pentagram

with flaming urns.

However, I must point out, that senior

citizens with homesteads have their property

tax rates frozen, so they arent subject to the

whims of the ancestral spirits. The reason for

the frozen tax rates is because senior citizens

have a more limited income and need their

money for teeth and guns.

I hope this helps to broaden your

understanding of the complicated and magical

machinery that is tax assessments.

Not if I see you first,

Karl

Got a concern? Opa Karl Esel is here to help, orat the very least, comisserate. Send your rants toopakarl@txcitizen.com.

with OPA Karl Esel

ASK A MEXICAN!!

8/11/2019 TX Citizen 8.14.14

12/1612 AD SALES 830.358.2493

By Gustavo Arellano

Dear Mexican: Im not Mexican,

but my son-in-law is. He is intelligent,

bright, enthusiastic and pleasant

to spend time with. He came here,illegally, at the age of 18 with his aunts.

He and my daughter are married, have

a three-and-a-half-year-old son, and

have gone through the entire process

of filing papers and paying fees so he

could enter the country legally. Last

week, at the inst ruction of la migr a,

he went to Juarez, Mexico to apply

for his visa. He had his physical after

wait ing in line for nine hour s. hen ,

on Wednesday, he stood in line for

his 9:45 a.m. appointment from 7:00

a.m. until the consulate closed at

4:00 p.m. He was told to come back

tomorrow. He showed up at 6:00 the

next morning and was finally granted

his interview.

One question that is asked in the

interview is; Have you ever used

drugs? Well, being the honest person

he is and not ever wanting to be accused

of lying, he answered truthfully, Yes,

I tried some with a friend about 6

months ago.

It is from this experience that I

have learned our own U.S. Government

doesnt care about honest people; it just

wants to appear drug-free. He was

told he was banned from the U.S. and

to reapply in two-and-a-half years! My

daughter is beside herself with grief.

She cannot afford to pay for childcare

without the help of her husband, so

she will be forced to quit her job. My

grandson believes his daddy doesnt

love him any more or he would come

home. And my son-in-law has learned

this lesson: if you want to enter the

U.S. legally, dont admit to having done

anything wrongperiod.

My daughter and grandson now

are in mental health counseling, but

their plan is to move to ijuana where

a family member owns a home they

can live in. My daughter will commute

to San Diego if she can find work. Andfor the next five years, while they go

through the entire process over again,

I will miss watching my sweet little

boy grow up. I will miss having my

only daughter and best friend with

me, and I will miss having my loving

son-in-law here where he belongs

with his fami ly.

Ive written to my senators

asking for intervention and Im

going to get an appointment to see

an immigration lawyer, but Im not

terribly confident. Do you hold out

any hope for them at all?

Dear Gabacha: Ever hear that canard

by Know Nothings that Mexicans dont

want to enter el Norte the right way?

Your yerno is Exhibit Nmero One on why

we dont. Throw in the stupidity of our drug

war, and coming into this country legally

is more unjustly harder than trying to get

your ta to write her tamale secrets down

in recipe form. Honestly, the best thing for

your son-in-law is to cross over illegally, as

undocumented folks nowadays seem to have

more protection than those who try to do it

the right wayand while I have no problem

with that whatsoever, how ###### up is

that weve come to this? Wait, that cameoff VERY conservative, so let me save my

Aztlanista reputationA LA CHINGADA

CON MURRIETA!

Ask t he Mexi can a tthemexican@askamexican.net,

be his fan on Facebook, follow him on

Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow himon Instagram @gustavo_arellano!

ASK A MEXICAN!!

Est. 1986

1390 McQueeney Rd, New Braunfels

830-625-0045 or wateringholesaloon.com

Become a friend @ facebook.com/theholenb

H2O Pong Tournaments @ 7

Each 1st & 3rd Sunday of the MonthPrizes & Happy Hour ALL Day!

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BAD DESIGN IS

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CITIZEN

830.542.9134 kayla@txcitizen.com

Hot in the Kitchen!

8/11/2019 TX Citizen 8.14.14

13/16TXCITIZEN.COM 13

Rhubarb is very popular in Alaska and extremely popular when made into a dessert for our

guests. Rhubarb grows great in cold weather climates like New England and is often mixed

with fresh strawberries to make pies. It was brought to Alaska in the late 1800s to help battle

scurvy, which is a illness brought on by a lack of the vitamin C found in fresh citrus fruits, andwas a plague among Alaskan fisherman and whalers at sea. Although rhubarb has the texture

of celery, it is often classified as a fruit.

Due to its abundance here in Alaska, I find myself using it often in our galley. Here is what we

prepared this last week. Chef April and I hope you try it at home and enjoy it like our guests do.

Alaskan Rhubarb

Dessert

2 pounds rhubarb, sliced crosswise

3/4 inch thick

1 cup granulated sugar

3/4 cup all-purpose four

1/2 cup (1 stick) cold unsalted butter,

cut into pieces

1/2 cup packed light-brown sugar

1 cup rolled oats

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Vanilla or strawberry ice cream,

for serving (optional)

STEP 1: Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a 9-by-13-inch baking dish, combine rhubarb, sugar,

and cup flour; set aside.

STEP 2: In the bowl of a food processor, combine remaining 1/2 cup flour and the butter. Pulse

until the butter pieces are pea-size. Add brown sugar, oats, and cinnamon. Pulse to combine.

Sprinkle over rhubarb.

STEP 3: Bake until rhubarb is tender and topping is golden; 35 to 45 minutes. Serve warm with

vanilla or strawberry ice cream, if desired.

Until next time, Eat, Drink & Be Sherri!

Sherri

Copyright 2014 by Eat, Drink & Be Sherri. All rights reserved.

Sherri Gallagher is a New Braunfels chef who grew up in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she began cooking at the age of

8. This summer Chef Sherri will be sailing on the M/V Liseron which sails weekly from Sitka to Juneau, Alaska. On board,

Chef Sherri will be preparing breakfast, lunch, dinner, happy hour hors doeuvres, and cocktails for her 20 passengers and

crew, so get ready for some amazing new recipes! Chef Sherri can be contacted at eatdrinkandbesherri@gmail.com.

Hot in the Kitchen!with Sherri Gallagher

Enjoy Responsibly 2014 Shock Top Brewi ng Co., Shock TopLemon Shandy Flavored Belgian-Style Wheat Beer, St. Louis, MO

8/11/2019 TX Citizen 8.14.14

14/1614 TX CITIZEN14 AD SALES 830.358.2493

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8/11/2019 TX Citizen 8.14.14

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On Serenity and Impotent RageGod, grant me the serenity to accept the

things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Above is the Serenity Prayer, an intonement

designed to instill inner peace adopted and

made famous by Alcoholics Anonymous.

Beyond its value to recovering addicts, its

good advice for all of us, and apparently sorely

needed at the moment. One way of interpreting

the prayer is that we need to avoid the impotent

rage that can cause us to lash out in ways that

have no hope of making things better and

almost always make things worse. Several

stories currently in the news illustrate how taking

some time to recite the Serenity Prayer might

reduce the commonality of wrathful actions

resulting in disastrous consequences.

Theres no doubt that the example getting

the most ink currently is the accident that

resulted in the death of Kevin Ward Jr. in a race

at Canandaigua (N.Y.) Motorsports Park. WardJr., apparently enraged by an accident that took

him out of the race, decided to vent his wrath

at Tony Stewart at close range by exiting his

car and entering the track, still full of zooming

cars. He was promptly run over. The result was

both tragic and comical in its predictability.

Theres no question that Kevin Ward Jr. would

have been better off sitting in his car reciting the

Serenity Prayer than acting as he did.

For those who would argue that thereis nothing comical to be found in any fatal

car accident, I say that they have clearly not

watched enough Saturday morning cartoons.

Im thinking of any of the numerous episodes

where Wile E. Coyote, after his explosive

device baited with birdseed fails to go off

killing the Roadrunner, proceeds to jump on,

hammer at, and otherwise abuse the trigger

until it finally, at no surprise to anyone,

detonates. Who hasnt laughed hysterically

at the charred visage of Wile E.? Most of us

recognize that there is a cautionary lesson

to the levity. Perhaps Kevin Ward Jr. never

watched cartoons as a child.

More likely, Ward Jr. did watch cartoons

and had watched Stewarts racing style as well.

While Stewart cannot be legitimately blamed

for Ward Jr.s death, he certainly cant be said

to have the coolest head in racing. Stewart,fairly or unfairly, is developing a reputation

as the Dick Dastardly of the racetrack. His

driving style is frequently critiqued as overly

aggressive, and out of his car, he has all of

the calm and grace of John McEnroe. Stewart

could probably use a little time with the

Serenity Prayer himself.A story that offers no punch line is the one

from a St. Louis, MO. suburb, where 18-year-old

Mike Brown was shot and killed in an altercation

with police. The details of the incident are still

in question, but there is no question that Brown

was unarmed at the time of the shooting. Its

no surprise that the shooting prompted outrage

from the community, another black man shot by

police under questionable circumstances.

Protests over the shooting were almost

immediate. The protests were peaceful, but as

often happens, righteous indignation quickly

brought on violence. Local stores were looted

and burned in rioting that followed the protests.

This is something we see too often.

Impotent rage brings people to a boiling point

where they begin to act irrationally. (No, Im not

excusing the behavior!) Similar, though far more

extreme, actions could be seen during the L.A.riots after the Rodney King verdict. Certainly,

some of the blame goes to opportunist thugs,

but anyone who has seen footage of a looter

carrying off a broken T.V. set or a single shoe,

should recognize that there is very little clear

thinking going on in such situations.

Not the least of the problems with this

is that the rioters are, more often than not,

destroying the very neighborhoods they live

in. The long-term economic damage is hardlyworth anything absconded with in the chaos.

While its always difficult to do, saying the

Serenity Prayer in such circumstances would be

far more productive than seething with anger or

even running out to a legitimate protest. After

all, the prayer doesnt propose inaction in all

cases, only that we rise to action in areas where

something positive might be accomplished.

Taking the time to consider what steps might

prevent future tragedies like the one that befell

Mike Brown would never lead to rational people

choosing to riot. Protests might have some value,

as would holding law enforcement to account

and pushing for a complete investigation by

an unbiased group. Just as important, and

probably most effective, would be for members

of the African-American community to use their

superior numbers at the polls and vote out

politicians who seem complicit or drag their feetin such situations. Property damage doesnt ever

have an upside, though.

America isnt the only place to find such

examples. The Serenity Prayer has international

applications as well. The situation we see in

Iraq is more calculated than simple impotent

rage, but theres no question that ISIS (nowISIL) would not have been anywhere near the

threat they are if they hadnt found support

among the oppressed and enraged Sunni

population in Iraq.

The Sunnis had legitimate grievances with

the Shia led government. Without a voice and

facing persecution that was unlikely to end

anytime soon, Sunnis turned to the ISIS extremists.

The Sunnis actually have more of a history as

moderates and secularists in Iraq, but people

who see no way to change a desperate situation

often turn to actions that offer no real solution.

The Palestinian conflict with Israel in

Gaza might be seen through the same lens.

A people faced with unacceptable conditions

and no way to change their circumstance in

the near-term, might foolishly turn to violence

that will only make things worse. The Serenity

Prayer would caution against rash actions,supporting instead careful consideration of

what might be changed for the better and how

that might be accomplished.

Support for Hamas and the continued

lobbing of rockets at the hated Israelis has

resulted in nothing but catastrophe for the

Palestinian people. What other than blind

rage could drive a people to take actions

that will predictably result in the destruction of

their homes and the death of their children?

Obviously this situation, like all others,

is complicated and cant be distilled to

simplicities, but the first priority should always

be to consider the consequences of any given

action before jumping to it. That doesnt seem

to be happening in Gaza.

The ubiquity of examples where the

Serenity Prayer might apply is no surprise. Its

simply human nature to make poor decisionswhen faced with frustration. That doesnt

change the value of the Serenity Prayers

advice, though. Individually, we all need to

acknowledge that there is nothing we can do

to change world events, but if we take some

time and set rage aside in favor of carefully

considered action, we could very easily make

our own lives better.

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug.blogspot.com.

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