tx citizen 3.7.13
DESCRIPTION
TX Citizen Volume 2 • Issue 10 • March 7, 2013TRANSCRIPT
"'C
ause
the
sys
tem
thr
ives
on
igno
ranc
e/W
hat
the
publ
ic d
on't
kno
w,
they
can
't r
ejec
t" —
S
ubhu
man
s (U
K)
E r r o r s a n d O m i s s i o n s | L i v e G r a p p l i n g | V a m p i r e s
VOLUME TWOISSUE T E N03 . 0 7.13
"If
you'
re g
oing
to
kick
aut
hori
ty i
n th
e te
eth,
you
mig
ht a
s w
ell
use
both
fee
t."
—
Kei
th R
icha
rds
P LUS : 7 DAY NEW BRAUNFELS/SAN MARCOS L IVE MUS IC GU IDEP LUS : 7 DAY NEW BRAUNFELS/SAN MARCOS L IVE MUS IC GU IDE
SPECIAL HOT-SOCCER-MOM-ON-A-DOCK COLLECTOR'S COVER!SPECIAL HOT-SOCCER-MOM-ON-A-DOCK COLLECTOR'S COVER!
March 17, 2013 First Annual St. Puppies Day Fun Run
Gruene Harley Davidson $10 per bike $15 with passenger
Last bike in at 4 p.m. at Billy’s Ice Join us for live music, prizes
Proceeds benefit the Humane Society of the New Braunfels Area
TX C
ITIZ
EN11
11 N
. Wal
nut A
venu
e N
ew B
raun
fels,
TX
7813
083
0.48
3.95
63
All
orig
inal
con
tent
is c
opyr
ight
TX
Citi
zen.
TX
Citi
zen
is pu
blish
ed
ever
y Th
ursd
ay.
One
cop
y (p
er p
erso
n) o
f TX
Citi
zen
is av
aila
ble
free
of c
harg
e, w
ith th
e pr
ior w
ritte
n co
nsen
t of T
X C
itize
n re
quire
d to
rem
ove
mul
tiple
cop
ies
from
dist
ribut
ion
poin
ts.
Mul
tiple
cop
ies
and
back
issu
es a
re a
vaila
ble
at T
X C
itize
n of
fices
for $
2.50
eac
h.
STA
FF /
CO
NTA
CT
Publ
isher
/Ed
itor-i
n-C
hief
Mik
e Re
ynol
ds
Dire
ctor
of D
istrib
utio
n C
hase
Coc
hran
Art
Dire
ctor
Kay
la W
alla
ce
Edito
rial:
new
s@tx
citiz
en.c
omA
dver
tisin
g: s
ales
@tx
citiz
en.c
om
Dist
ribut
ion:
dis
tribu
tion@
txci
tizen
.com
PHO
TO C
RED
ITS
Cov
er, A
roun
d &
Abo
ut:
Cha
se C
ochr
an
2 AD SALES 830.483.9563
table of contents1st Word
The New Braunfels Media War is nothing new.
We have proof.
7
3
Last WordColby describes the polit ical
animal in terms that 12 year-oldgirls wil l get all swoony over.
5
14
11
The County ’sMost WantedLook, mommy! Daddy’s in the paper!
Ask a MexicanGustavo of fends in two languages.
8
13
Citizen SoundcheckThe ONLY guide of i ts kind for
the NB/SM Metroplex!
Advice from Uncle Esel
Got a problem? You will.
The Beer HunterWhen Mitchell drinks, we all learn something.
HoroscopesPisces gets i ts Pope on.
Around & About“We’re All In” lives up to its name at the Junior Livestock show!
DiversionsKaraoke, trivia, pool tourneys, and such.
6Sports Wrestling. Ladders. Blood.
10
CalendarStuf f to do. Go do stuf f.
ADVERTISE WITH US830.483.9563
4 AD SALES 830.483.9563
Located in the heart of downtown New Braunfels, the Historic Faust Hotel & Brewing Company is a one-stop destination offering a variety of House Brews, Full Bar and Tapas-Style Menu, and Redesigned Guestrooms, Suites, and Event Center, which feature 1920’s Art Deco design while incorporating modern amenities.
Your One-Stop DestinationHouse Brews, Full Bar and Beer Inspired Menu
Find us240 South Seguin Avenue | Downtown New Braunfels
(830) 625-7791 | www.FaustBrewing.com
Open at 4pm Mon-Thurs & 12pm Fri-Sun
JOIN US FOR ST. PATTY’S DAY Corned Beef & Cabbage , Drink Specials
THE
IMPERIAL BARBER SHOP
We've Got the Blade for Your Fade
at a Price that's Nice!
Regular Cuts = $8.95Seniors 55+ = $7.95
Boys 16 & Under = $6.95
721 Hwy 46 S • Near Exxon and Palm Cafe830-515-7575
TUESDAY SPECIALS
2 AD SALES 830.483.9563
Chuck Baxley’sASSISTANCE IN LIVING CO.
Landscaping • Tree ServicesFencing • Rock Work • Estate MgmtShredding • Site Clean-Up & Hauling
830.832.2033 • 2553 FM 1044
24 Beers on Tap - Full Bar Live Entertainment - Pool Tables
BLACK WHALE PUB367 Main Plaza 830-625-6605
PAUL J. SMITHAttorney at Law
Board Certified in Criminal LawTexas Board of Legal Specialization
651 S. WalnutSuite D #228New Braunfels, Tx 78130
830-832-1534www.pauljsmithlaw.com
VOTE FOR US FOR BEST OF THE WURST 2013
Karaoke Thursday & Sunday
DJs Wednesday • Friday • Saturday
118 Common St.830.387.4466
HOT SOUPS!Broccoli & Cheese,Loaded Potato Soup & don’t forget our Chili! YUMMM!
Part I: Errors and OmissionsErrors: In last week’s issue
of the TX Citizen, reader Trey sent us a letter that began, “Was it Robert Duval that said, ‘I love the smell of Napalm in the morning’ in the Deer Hunter?”
We then inserted a note that read “(Editor: Yes)”. Later in the day, the aforementioned editor realized that while that was indeed Duvall’s line, it was not from The Deer Hunter – it was from Apocalypse Now. But deadlines being deadlines, it was too late to fix it. Thank you for the hundreds of phone calls, emails, and shouts from the street pointing out this error.
Omissions: The Houston-owned Herald-Zeitung failed to report that the City lost their appeal to keep a judge from ruling on the legality of the disposable container ban, and other anti-tourism ordinances, until ten days after the event. The decision was handed down by Austin’s Third Court of Appeals on Friday, February 21, and not reported by the HZ until Sunday, March 3. KGNB came in second on that story, with only a five-day delay in reporting on the piece. Both newsrooms are expected to receive gold stars, smiley faces and pats on the head from the City Manager for sitting on the story as long as they could.
As usual, TX Citizen fans were subjected to the story first, as it hit our Facebook page (facebook.com/txcitizen) on Friday, February 22, and received deeper coverage in the First Word column in our February 28 edition. That issue is still available online at txcitizen.com, and apparently provided the impetus for the Houston-owned paper to finally relent and give the biggest story of the week a mention. #newsfail
Part II: The More Things Stay the Same, the Less Everything ChangesYou want to hear something funny? I
mean, not like “funny ha-ha” but kind of “weird funny”. Back in 1936 a local attorney/rabble rouser named Adolph Seidemann had a look at the City’s government and the then-locally-owned Herald, and declared their relationship corrupt. He went out and bought a printing press, and produced what might
be considered the first incarnation of the TX Citizen – The Adolph
Seidemann Instantaneous Forum. We got our hands on original copy of Adolph’s publication, courtesy of TX Citizen reader
Joe Lisk, who found it in an old trunk that he got from an
estate sale. Cool.In the March 2, 1936, inaugural
edition of his Forum, Adolph took on the City’s government for rejecting a petition he submitted that would have triggered an election to dissolve the City’s Board of Development, which served the purpose of today’s 4-B Board – namely redistributing wealth from taxpayers to the pockets of certain well-connected businessmen.
That rejection was based on the City Attorney’s insistence that City Hall simply didn’t have to accept the petition – that decision based on an intentional misreading of the City’s Charter. (The charter apparently over-ruled then, as it does now, both the Texas and United States Constitutions). In a crazy twist, it seems our current City Council did exactly the same thing, for the same reason, in December of 2011. You know, with the petition to hold a recall election for Bryan Miranda. They just decided they didn’t want it. (The circumstances under which that petition was put together and contested are now under the scrutiny of the Comal County Grand Jury, but that’s another story altogether, and one we’ve already covered in this column. It’s a good one though, and we’ll keep up with the case as it makes its way through the system.)
Anyhow, Adolph blasted the then-locally-owned Herald for their complaint that the election would be expensive. Just like they did during the whole Bryan Miranda debacle. Hmmm. It seems we’ve got a pattern developing here…
Adolph then went after the astronomical, taxpayer-funded, sweetheart salary paid to the head of the City Board of Development. Uh oh. Now we’re really getting somewhere. It won’t be long before we start publishing taxpayer-funded salaries too, and if you think we’ve made enemies before, wait until we print those numbers. Whoa Nelly! It’s going to be something else.
Continued on next page.
WORD1STMIKE
REYNOLDSWITH
WWW.FREIHEITCOUNTRYSTORE.NET
VOTED BEST BURGERS IN TOWN!
COUNTRY STORE
215 S. Seguin • Downtown NB • 830.620.9188
Join us forbreakfast& lunch!
Monday - Saturday7 to 3pmwww.olivesitalianmarket.com
Now Open!
1528 E Common St, Ste 10 | 830.608.9111
Simply Balanced Facial $49Valid for new client. May be used with certain service
providers. Call for more details. Expires 03/31/13.
$15 o� 1 hr Swedish or Deep Tissue MassageValid for new clients. Expires 3/31/13.
4 AD SALES 830.483.9563 TXCITIZEN.COM 3
NB LIQUOR & WINEBEER • WINE • SPIRITS
1308 Common St #207New Braunfels, TX
Continued from previous page. Anyway, here’s the complete text of
Adolph’s first edition. We have no doubt you will find it an entertaining reminder that some things never, ever change. Note: While the text, including typos, is original, we have adjusted the formatting to allow for easier reading.
THE ADOLPH SEIDEMANN INSTANTANEOUS FORUM.
Dedicated to the preservation ofThe Constitution and laws under
which we are living.March 2, 1936.
To the Voters and Citizens of New Braunfels, Texas.
On February 26, 1936, as stated and set forth in the article appearing in the New Braunfels Herald in its issue of Friday, February 28, 1936, which article will be published in the German language in the New Braunfels Zeitung in its issue of March 4,1936, I filed petition signed by 277 voters asking for the calling of an election for the purpose of submitting the repeal of the ordinance creating a Board of Development to a vote of the people. This petition, as you have seen was refused by the City Commission of the City of New Braunfels, acting upon the advice of Mr. Martin Faust, City Attorney of New Braunfels.
Mr. Faust suggested that another petition be circulated, which would ask for the repeal of the amendment under which the ordinance was passed. Just for your information I want to state that Mr. Faust is mistaken in his views, and the election could have been called and we could have voted on the issue involved at the general election to be held in the City of New Braunfels on the first tuesday in April, but I did not want any legal controversy which would deprive you of your right to vote on the question in the near future, although to circulate another petition would cost a great deal of money, so I prepared the petition as suggested by him, and employed Paul Lindemann to circulate the same, and it is now being circulated.
In the New Braunfels Heral of February 28, 1936, under the large headlines, “PETITION SUBMITTED TO CITY SEEKS TO SMASH BOARD OF DEVELOPMENT” reference is made to the petition filed by 277 voters of New Braunfels, and on page 4 at the end of the article in column 4 this article closes with the following language, towit; “It is estimated that such an election would cost several hundred dollars.” Now that is just too bad, is it not? Well, who caused this expenditure? Was it not the City Attorney, who had advised the City Commission of the City of New Braunfels, that the citizens of New Braunfels could not demand an election to repeal an ordinance?
I state to you, that the citizens of New Braunfels can demand an election at any time. The right to petition a City Commission or other governing agency is one of the sacred rights of the American people. Let me quote the Constitution of the United States. “Congress shall make no laws respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” That is the Constitution of the United States.
Now let me quote to you the Constitution of the State of Texas. Article 1 Section 27 reads as follows; “The citizens shall have the right, in a peaceable manner, to assemble together for their common good, and apply to those invested with the powers of government for redress of grievances or other purposes, by petition, address or remonstrance.” That is the Constitution of the State of Texas. Mr. Faust just happened to get his hands on the wrong law book, for the law that he pointed out to the Mayor and Commissioners provided the manner of changing the Charter of the City, which is nothing less than the Constitution of the City of New Braunfels.
But let that be as it may, if the election does cost several hundred dollars, that is considerably less than the average of $5071.42 per year, collected from the citizens of New Braunfels by a tax on their little homesteads and other property for the purpose of maintaining the City Board of Development. Well, this tax of $5071.42 per year did not seem quite right to E.P. Nowotny Jr. and the Junior Chamber of Commerce of New Braunfels, so this Junior Chamber of Commerce, through its President, E.P. Nowotny, on September 18, 1934, presented a resolution to the City Board of Development to reduce the salary and the expenses of Mr. Bailey Jones to $100.00 per month.
Well, that was simply horrible to think that Mr. Jones should receive only $100.00 per month, so the City Board of Development, on October 16, 1934, entered into their minutes, that Mr. Bailey Jones should receive a salary of $2400.00 per year, that there should be allowed the sum of $550.00 for miscellaneous and extra help, and $300.00 for traveling expenses, and $150.00 for telegraph and telephone expenses, and $125.00 for stationary and stamps. I feel quite sure that $15.00 was sufficient for the stationary bill, so that left, if I am right, just $110.00 for stamps. About 3660 stamps were thus used for the purpose of answering correspondence. I had no idea that such an amount of stamps would be required.
4 AD SALES 830.483.9563
Single-origin Espresso BrewsHandcrafted Blends • Whole Bean Coffee
2348 Gruene Lake Dr. Suite B • 830-643-1309
www.NBSTREETS.com“We dig so you don’t have to.”
4 AD SALES 830.483.9563 TXCITIZEN.COM 5
FridayHot texas swing band 9pm
SaturdayRoy Heinrich & the Pickups
9pm
www.rileystavern.com TAVERNSINCE1933
Texas' First Bar After Prohibition!Texas' First Bar After Prohibition!
1 2 3
5 6 7
9 10 11
13 14 15
17 18 19
ENCHILADA DINNER FUNDRAISERThe Order of the Eastern Star is hosting a Lenten enchilada dinner
on Saturday, March 9, at the Masonic Lodge at 1353 Wald Road in New Braunfels. The dinner runs from 11am to 5pm, with plates at $8 for adults and $4 for kids 8 and under. For tickets, please call Matron Simone Lambdin at 830-606-6329. Note: Tickets will not be sold at the door – advance sales only.
BLUES EVOLUTIONThe New Braunfels Blues Society invites you to the “Blues Evolution,”
on Saturday, March 9th, at the historic Brauntex Theatre. The show starts at 7pm, and features International Blues Challenge
winner, the Homemade Jamz Blues Band, along with local blues favorite, Adam Johnson and the Pay Me’s, as well as Blue Generation, a group comprised of area high school students formed just for this event.
Tickets available online at brauntex.com For more information about the New Braunfels Blues Society, go to nbbluessociety.org.
THE BIG LEBOWSKIGet your Dude on, and abide with your tailgate and cooler of any
size at the Board of Realtors office at 936 Gruene Road for a FREE drive-in showing of the Coen Brothers’ masterpiece, The Big Lebowski. You get John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, AND Philip Seymour Hoffman in ONE MOVIE. You go see. 7pm.
GOT AN EVENT TO PROMOTE? Send the details to [email protected].
CALENDAR
Miss Sartor has been attending to some of the duties formerly performed by Mr. Jones and if I had the time, I would investigate, just for the purpose of ascertaining whether the Junior Chamber of Commerce was correct in its views that $100.00 per month was sufficient compensation for the work that the Secretary of the Board of Development was required to do during these last few years of depression. That however, is a matter that the Junior Chamber of Commerce of New Braunfels is better able to answer than I am. I am just wondering how many of these citizens of New Braunfels, were as fortunate as Mr. Jones during the year 1934. When Mr. Jones first came to New Braunfels, he received $350 per month, and I am quite sure, although I did not read the minutes of the Board of City Development for the first few years of Mr. Bailey’s administration, that he also received some additional expense money.
I cannot afford the expense of publishing letters through the newspapers, so I bought myself a new printing machine, and I am doing my own work. I feel that the Printers Union will get after me, but after they realize that I am trying to save their sacred sights, and also to save them some taxes, they will, I am sure, forgive me. I cannot give you all the news in
one issue, so look for the second issue, which will probably instantaneously appear some time Friday morning, March 6, 1936, but I may decide to issue daily letters. These letters will probably be worth reading on days when news are dull, and I therefore advise you to save this issue for future reference.
Have just seen Paul Lindemann, he showed me petition he is circulating, so take cheer, many, many good people are coming up voluntarily and signing, so come along, I have pen and ink waiting for you. The Herald analyzed the first petition which Mr. Faust turned down. I have a copy of the names, and I will tell you about the 75 women that signed that petition, and also something about these old retired citizens. I feel sure that many, many business men will also sign in the next few days. They are beginning to realize that it is foolish on their part to fight the majority of the people.
So long until March 6, and perhaps before.Adolph Seidemann.
Editor’s Note: Seidemann’s birthday, January 6, will now be considered a holiday at TX Citizen HQ. We will white-wash his unfortunate choice to lead a group of New Braunfels-based Kaiser Wilhelm II sympathizers during WWI, and completely ignore his civic activities during WWII.
\m/Mike ReynoldsPublisher/Editor-in-Chief
Biergarten Featuring Guadalupe Brewing Co. Beers
Special Events Monthly
Fresh Handmade Sandwiches and Salsa
Private Parties- Catering
Wedding Facilities AvailableLive Music Every Night
Never a CoverKid & Pet Friendly
1263 Gruene Road • 830.625.1045
Call for Hours!
omalovesyou.com
Biergarten Featuring Guadalupe Brewing Co. Beers
Special Events Monthly
Fresh Handmade Sandwiches and Salsa
Private Parties- Catering
Wedding Facilities AvailableLive Music Every Night
Never a CoverKid & Pet Friendly
1263 Gruene Road • 830.625.1045
Call for Hours!
omalovesyou.com
March 7 @ 6 Jam Night w Scott Boddacker
March 8 @ 6 MC & The Mystyx
March 9 @ 1 The Lesti Huff Band
@ 6 Pepper's Blues
March 10 @ 2 The Blue Bucks
March 14 @ 6 Jam Night
March 15 @ 7 JumboFunk!
March 16 @ 1 The Texas Saints
@ 6 ShakeDown
March 17 @ 1 The Blues Buzzards
March 21 @ 6 Jam Night
March 22 @ 6 Vagabonds Del Sol
March 23 @ 2 The Chris Ruest Band
@ 6:30 Kim Meeks & Her Bad Habits
Upcoming Shows:
See you there!
492 West San Antonio
The Bra Specialist
830.214.0728
6 AD SALES 830.483.9563 TXCITIZEN.COM 7
Rush vs Santana
Mr 830 vs Sean Killian
Majestic King vs Danny DonovanMajestic King vs Danny Donovan
Judas Rage vs Irish Red
Chase Stevens taunts the crowd pre-match.Chase Stevens taunts the crowd pre-match.
JP Ruin vs Miguel the Ring BOY
Fyre vs Stevens
Results: Block Buster Wrestling at Big Al’s Gardens The masked luchadore, Rush, got the show started, scoring an easy pinfall over Javier “Taco Bueno” Santana. In Match Two, rather than take on an actual wrestler, ultra-heavyweight JP Ruin chose to manhandle Miguel the Ring Boy in what could only be described as a cruel attack on a non-athlete. “The Bully”, Danny Donovan, had second thoughts about issuing his Bully Challenge to any and all comers, after the Majestic King took him up on the offer and put the Hardcore Title up for grabs. Most of that match’s action took place on the freshly blood-soaked pavement outside of the ring, with the King retaining his belt via pinfall, but only after �nding himself on the receiving end of some brutal Donovan chairshots. The BBW Championship match was next, with a two out of three falls stipulation in the �ght between submission specialist Sean Killian and current titleholder, Mr 830. Killian scored the �rst fall, 830 the second, and the match ended in a time limit draw after 20 minutes. Under BBW rules, Mr 830 retained the belt. TNA veteran and three-time NWA Tag Team Champion Chase Stevens was upset by local grappler Mike Fyre. Stevens’ lighting fast workrate and powerful assualt were undone by his hubris, allowing underdog Fyre to unexpectedly – and nearly inexplicably - roll him up for the pin. We expect Stevens to return sometime in the near future to even the score. In the Main Event, Irish Red’s Blitz Title belt was hung high above the ring in preparation for Red’s Belt vs Career ladder match against Judas Rage. After some devestating back-and–forth brawling, (and interference from ring announcer and BBW promoter J-Rock), Rage climbed the ladder and retrived the belt, thus keeping his job with BBW. The show ended with wrestlers yelling at each other and the usual all-kid Battle Royal. Block Buster Wrestling’s next shows are scheduled for Thursday, March 14, and Saturday, March 16 at RiverCity Range. For more information, logon to facebook.com/BBFNDUB.
TXCITIZEN.COM 7
Buffalo Wings & RingsKaraokeTuesday Nights, 7:30pm
TriviaThursday Night, 7:30pm
Dirty’s Bar & QKaraokeWednesday Nights, 8pmSaturday Nights, 9pm
Faust Brewing CompanyTriviaThursday Nights, 8pm
Freiheit Country StoreKaraokeFriday Nights, 8pm
TriviaSaturday Nights, 8pm
Happy CowKaraokeThursday Nights, 8pm
TriviaWednesday Nights, 8pm
Pool TournamentMonday Nights, 8pm
Old Ice HouseKaraokeThursdays, Sundays
DJWednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays
Phoenix SaloonKaraokeThursday Nights
Prickly Pear LoungeKaraokeThursdays, Saturdays
DJ KCFridays
The Watering Hole SaloonKaraokeThursdays
Country Dance LessonsFridays, 7:30pm - FREE
DJFridays, Saturdays
diversionsAROUND & ABOUT
The “We’re All In” buying group went all the way at last Saturday’s Junior Stock Show, raising over $85,000 from local contributors which was then put toward purchasing animals at the show, along with two additional steers and two hogs. After processing, the meat was quick-frozen by Granzin’s Meat Market, and then distributed to the Comal County Crisis Center, the Comal County Senior Foundation, the New Life Children’s Center of Canyon Lake, and St Jude’s Children’s Shelter.
After the event, We’re All In’s Levi McBee had these words for the press: “We’d like to send congratulations to all the youth that participated in this year’s show, and a huge thank you to all of the local businesses that stepped up and contributed funds to the buying group – without their generous support none of this would have been possible.”
Blake/Kelly WarrenCanyon Lake FFA
Center Point StationChuck Nash
Comaltex InsuranceD & D Ranch
Darrell/Julie HillEd/Dell Perry
Eric WhiteHart Components/E. James
Frost BankGranzins Meat Market
Greg/Vada AkeryGuadalupe Valley Memorial Park
J & R GymnasticsJeff/Leigh Ann Dees
Karl & Beth HittleKasey Mock
Kenneth/Tonya LeonardKiesling/Porter/Kiesling/Free
Lancia LennoxLarry Hammonds Family
Lee/Jamie EzellOakwood Baptist
Pat/Becky WigginsPerry Family LTD. Partnership
Pete BassettRiata Finacial Group
L & L Camp Ground - R SkolautSac-N-Pac
Tip Top CleanersZoeller Funeral HomePerry & Cindy BeyerJeff & Melanie BeyerPoint Collision Center
50 Foot DesignsBoehringer-IngelheimChuck's Transport Inc.
Cooper RidgeFelger & Friends for Hair
GBMB InsuranceGruene with Envy/Giddy Up
GrueneJefferson Bank
Mark & Kim LehmannMeineke Car Care CenterNew Braunfels Elks Lodge
Pure Party IceSchertz Funeral HomeTaste of New BraunfelsThe Vineyard at GrueneTim & Wendi Langlinais
Two P's & Calli's BoutiqueSouth Texas Steel
Beinco of San AntonioBuffalo Wings & Rings
El NopalitoGriffen Asset ManagementJon Wayne Heating & AirKenneth Fiebrich Outdoor
ServicesTX Citizen
Schnaps Haus, Inc.Taylor Designer Floors, Inc.
Williams Supply Co.Woods Cycle Country
Billy’s Ice HouseDr Cole & Dr Smith
Prime Lending & Steph MorganAlamo Crane Service
Midtex OilJames Gosset DDS
Louis LilesNathan Reneau
Scott & Shelly BessonSteve KellerTexStar Bank
J.R. & Janet SmithKaren KonecryMcGhee Bros
Mike & Melan ZimmermanFirst Commercial Bank
Fuquay, Inc.
Germana InsuranceValmark Chevrolet
Southern PlainsFred & Jeri Lynn Scott
New Braunfels Rotary ClubWell Fargo BankDavid SpencerGolesco, Inc.
Guadalupe Valley Memorial ParkJeff Beyer
Jeff & Melodie BeyerK & G MotorsOld Ice House
Perry & Cindy BeyerSerendipity Cakes
Hill Country Poker LeagueRe�ection Taxidermy
New Braunfels State Farm Agents
Accents Decorative ConcreteBobby & Fern Lane
Craig's Septic Pumping & RepairsDiana & Bobby Craft
Providence RiskRussell & Jill Wenzel
Justin KellyBrien Brooks
Daniel & Kandy PerkinsJF Electrical Services
Allen & Margie EckhardtBill & Angela BurtonBrian & Gaye WernerChris & Terry WiemersHill Country Customs
Hill Country Customs TowingJarrod & Tana LeonardJeremy & Erin LeonardMaria & Mike Milewski
Paige RhodesSherri Henwood
Tim & Rosie MinerRussell & Karin Boos
David & Elizabeth DossDavid & Patty McDanielEric & Shawn ScrogginJohn & Pam ManchackKeith & Susan Smith
Cassandra & Andrew LindemanRick & Julie Sheperd
AA-Aarons Mini StorageCravings
Triple R ElectricDennis & Beverly JohnsonJoe Bob & Annie James
Rick JamesKelly & Pam Holmes
Charlie & Shawn WimberlyJeff & Staci Neill
Doug & D'Anndra VaderGaylord Electric
3 Phase TechnologiesDr Lee
Luehl�ng ExcavatingNB Booster Club
Barney & Margi HandrickBobby & Lori JacksonClint & Lisa McElroy
Culpepper Plumbing Services, Inc.Lance & Dawn Jonas
Mamacita’s RestaurantMolly Maid
Ron Wetz R3K FarmsWilliams Heating, Air
Conditioning & AppliancesBedford Family Dentistry
The Leister FamilyFiesta Lanes
The Eastwood FamilyCanyon FFA Booster ClubHoffmann Show Goats
Varni Roo�ngSage Capital Bank
W & E Realty Co, LTD
Board of Directors - We're All In Mike Besson, Jeff Dees , Levi McBee, Kathy Bearden-Porter,
Bobby Craft, Eric Scroggin, Kelly Holmes, Tyler Handrick
2013 Contributors
8 AD SALES 830.483.9563
Thu 3.7Black Whale Pub
Blues Buzzards9pm
Dirty’s Bar & QSteven Roloff & Friends8pm
Freiheit Country Store50’s/60’s Country Open Mic6pm
Oma Gruene’s Secret GartenJam Night w/ Scott Boddacker6pm
Phoenix SaloonLucas Taylor5pm
Adobe VerdeGarrett Heinrichs8pm
AJ’s Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show9pm
Billy’s Ice HouseThe Possum Posse8:30pm
Black & Tan PubJennifer Sullivan5pmDJ Tofer, DJ Newell, Gilbert Carrizalez9pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseWill Arrington Band, Brett Hauser Band9pm
Gruene HallWalt Wilkins & the Mystiqueros6pm
On The Half Shell Oyster BarJosh Holden9pm
The Pour HausSteven Vee & Junior Nash7pm
Tavern in the GrueneScott Wiggins8pm
Triple CrownIke Eichenberg6pmBuzz ‘n Bangs, The Lion & The Giraffe,Sp_aces, The Wild Oats9pm, $5
Uptown Piano BarAshley Stone8pm
Vino en VerdeRyan Waguespack6:30pm
Fri 3.8Dirty’s Bar & Q
Randy Sosa & Friends8pm
The Happy CowKim Meeks & Her Bad Habits8pm
Oma Gruene’s Secret GartenMC & The Mystyx7pm
Phoenix SaloonDaniel Thomas Phipps5pmIndivine9pm
Riley’s TavernHot Texas Swing Band9pm
Adobe VerdeDry River Religion8pm
AJ’s Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show9pm
Billy’s Ice HouseWes Nickson8pm
Black & Tan PubTreehuggerz Show9pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseAdam Johnson Band9pm
Gruene HallBart Crow8pm, $10
On The Half Shell Oyster BarJosh Holden9pm
The Pour HausPaul Elridge6pmRansom Jack (acoustic)9pm
River Road Ice HouseMatt Begley & Bitter Whiskeyw/ Mike Stanley Band8pm
Tavern in the GrueneTanner Louis & the Aviators8pm
Triple CrownThe Bottom Feeders6pmCollin Gee, DDot Elles, SymmaTree,Matty Dee, Anna Beth & Gost,Lace Tunes, Evan Taylor, DJ Notion9pm, $5
Uptown Piano BarBarry Adams8pm
Vineyard at GrueneTom Gillam7pm
Vino en VerdeJon Magill8pm
Sat 3.9Black Whale Pub
Tyler Brown9pm
Dirty’s Bar & QBlues Burners9pm, $3
The Happy CowManzy Lowry Band8pm
Oma Gruene’s Secret GartenThe Lesti Huff Band1pmPepper’s Blues6pm
Phoenix SaloonScott H Biramw/ The Beaumonts9pm, $7
Riley’s TavernRoy Heinrich & the Pickups9pm
Adobe VerdeThe Knowhow8pm
AJ’s Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show9pm
Billy’s Ice HouseLC Rocks8pm
Black & Tan PubPrizmatic, Shadows of Recliation,Skies of Fire10pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseThe Fossils8:30pm
Gruene HallStatesboro Revue1pmTexas Tornadosw/ Jeff Strahan9pm, $10
The Pour HausBonnie Lang6pmGuadalupe Pirates9pm
River Road Ice HouseDavid Grace8pm
Tavern in the GrueneBuster Jiggs9pm, $3
Texas Music TheaterSpring Break San MarcosMargaritas in ParadiseSon of a Sailor- Jimmy Buffett TributeClassic Car Cruise InMargarita Contest7:30pm, $20-$80
Triple CrownUnsurpassed Profit, Promise, Nosaprise,Fambly, Magna Carda, Ichi Ni San Shi,Chief & TheDoomsDayDevice,Christian Hyun, DJ Wahrk8pm, $6
Uptown Piano BarJohn Maclean8pm
Vineyard at GrueneJeff Wood7pm
Vino en VerdeIsis the Voice9pm
Sun 3.10Oma Gruene’s Secret Garten
The Blue Bucks2pm
Phoenix SaloonAl Barlow2pmJason Marbach7pm
Adobe VerdeFallon Franklin8pm
Billy’s Ice HouseMark McKinney8pm
CITIZEN SOUNDCHECK
8 AD SALES 830.483.9563 TXCITIZEN.COM 9
CITIZEN SOUNDCHECKFri 3.8
The Continental Club
Club Lineup:
Eve Monsees, The Next, Texas Blue Dots,
The Ripe, Ghost Wolves, The Go-Wows,
Wyldwood Four, Modern Don Juans,
The Thunderchiefs
6pm-2am
Gallery Lineup:
The Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm
The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Floore’s Country Store
Mario Flores & the Soda Creek Band
8pm, $8
Red Eyed Fly
Blasted Engines
w/ The Standoffs
9:30pm, Inside
Riversyde
w/ So it is Written, Jimmy Jet’s TV Set,
The Green View, E.B.M.
8:30pm, Outside
Sam’s Burger Joint
Mingo Fishtrap
w/ Josh Weathers
8pm, $17
Stetson Bar
Widow Maker
9:30pm
Thirsty Horse Saloon
Dave Jorgenson
8pm
Sat 3.9
The Continental Club
Club Lineup:
Red Volkaert, 3:30pm
Mike Barfield, 9:30pm, $10
Jungle Rockers, 11pm
Greyhounds, 12:30am
Gallery Lineup:
Woody Russell, 8:30pm
The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30, $5
Floore’s Country Store
Robert Earl Keen
w/ Doug Moreland
8pm, $25
Red Eyed Fly
Sam Pace & The Gilded Grit
w/ J Ray
10pm, Inside
Holy Ka-Kow
w/ Anacostia, Superette,
The Household, Dewey Decibal System
8:30pm, Outside
Sam’s Burger Joint
Wheeler Brothers
w/ Wild Child
8pm, $13
Stetson Bar
Southern Voice
9:30pm
Thirsty Horse Saloon
Jay Eric Band
8pm
Gruene HallBret Graham12:30pmThe Whiskey Sisters5pm
The Pour HausLarry Martin Sweeney7pm
River Road Ice HouseAndy Evans & the Brotherhood8pm
Triple CrownMohawks for FoodBenefit for the Hays County Food BankJoel Hofmann Band2pm
Mon 3.11Riley’s Tavern
Songwriter Showcasew/ John Whipple
Billy’s Ice HouseWink Keziah8pm
Gruene HallBo Porter & Redd Volkhaert1pmBret Graham6pm
River Road Ice HouseEmpty Handed Vagabonds8pm
Tavern in the GrueneCourt Nance & Friends8pm Triple CrownSamantha Lynn6pmChief & TheDoomsdayDevice10pm
Tues 3.12The Happy Cow
Open Jamw/ Uncle Daddy8pm
Riley’s TavernMark Sebby & Friends9pm
Watering Hole SaloonChris Vetter8:30pm
Billy’s Ice HouseRatliff Dean, Austin Gilliam8:00pm
Gruene HallNoel McKay & Brennen Leigh1pmTwo Ton Tuesday Spring Break Show8:30pm, $5
Tavern in the GrueneRoots & Branches of Americana7pmThe Blooms9:30pm
Triple CrownEmily Herring6pmDark Time Sunshine, Void Pedal,Moodie Black, Lo Phi, Kinder, Soundfounder,Chief & The DoomsdayDevice, Anthony Maintain8pm, $5
Wed 3.13Buffalo Wings & Rings
Steven Roloff & Friends7:30pm
Riley’s TavernBig Red Drum Artist Spotlight9pm
Watering Hole SaloonVagabonds del Sol8:30pm
Billy’s Ice House3 Man Front8pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseKent Finlay’s Songwriters Circle9pm
Gruene HallSlim Bawb12pmRyan Binghamw/ Honeyhoney8pm, SOLD OUT
The Pour HausNick Lawrence7pm
River Road Ice HouseChris King8pm
Triple CrownBeth Lee6pmColin Colby9pm, $4
Uptown Piano BarJohn Maclean8pm
SOUND TOWNOUTOF
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
10 AD SALES 830.483.9563
By Gustavo Arellano
Dear Readers: The Mexican is currently dealing with deportation issues but will return next week once he builds his 15-foot escalera to climb over that pesky 14-foot wall. In the meanwhile, here are some oldies-but-goodies to tide you by like yesterday’s menudo. Enjoy!
Dear Mexican: It seems that whenever Chicano professors want to show off their mexicanidad, they wear a guayabera. In fact, I saw a picture of you in the Los Angeles Times donning the shirt, along with Dickies pants and Converse All Stars. How trite and bourgeois! You go to a café or bar in any university town in Mexico, and the students will think you’re totally naco. I stopped wearing the guayabera when a friend said I looked like a waiter in a Mexican restaurant. Do certain clothes determine your Mexicanness?
Sexy Mexy
Dear Wab: Abso-pinche-lutely. “The bigger the sombrero, the wabbier the man,” is a commandment all Mexicans learn from the Virgin of Guadalupe. But seriously, Mexican clothes correspond to social and economic status—sweaty T-shirt indicates laborer, calf-length skirt means a proper Mexican woman, and if a cobbler used the hide of an endangered reptile to fashion your cowboy boots, you’re probably a drug dealer or a Texan. The guayabera (a loose-fitting, pleated shirt common in the Mexican coastal state of Veracruz and other tropical regions of Latin America) also announces something about its owner: the güey is feeling hot and wants to look sharp. Why the hate, Sexy? Remember what Andy Warhol said: “Nothing is more bourgeois than to be afraid to look bourgeois.” Who cares if people mistake you for a waiter if you sport a guayabera? Just spit in their soup. And who cares if Mexican university students call me, you or any guayabera wearer a naco (Mexico City slang for bumpkin)? They can’t be that smart if they’re still in Mexico.
Why do Mexicans call people with curly hair chinos? Most chinos I know have very straight, hard-to-curl hair.
China Confundida
Dear Confused Chinita: The Mexican has discussed the word chino before, as in why Mexicans call all Asians chinos (same reason
gabachos call all Latinos “Mexican”). Chino is one of the more fascinating homographs (words with the same spelling but different meanings) in Spanish. Its Old World meaning specifically refers to a person of Chinese descent, but in his Dictionary of Latin American Racial and Ethnic Terminology, Rutgers linguist Thomas M. Stephens documents how chino assumed different connotations once the conquistadors pillaged the Americas—and none of those connotations was positive.
Stephens’ book devotes an incredible seven pages to chino; some of its more peculiar Latin American definitions include “female servant,” “slave from Mozambique,” “concubine,” “young Indian female who served in a convent,” and, yes, “curly-haired.” Chino also was the category in the Spanish Empire’s Byzantine castas (caste) system designated for the offspring of parents with varying degrees of African and Amerindian blood. Stephens’ only sin is that he doesn’t explain why chino took on so many non-Chinese connotations, though he did write that china in Quechua signifies “female servant or animal,” while Nahuatl speakers used chinoa (“toasted”) to describe dark-skinned people. And he offers no insight into the chino-curly connection.
But it doesn’t take a Ph-pinche-D to identify the common threads in chino’s various meanings: African blood and servitude. Many blacks, of course, have naturally kinky hair, so at some point over the centuries, chino became an ethnicon (a term meant to comment on an ethnic group’s prominent cultural characteristic that become popular shorthand for said characteristic) for both “black person” and “curly.” Mexicans then went on to drop the black denotation and kept the curly connection. Such linguistic amnesia isn’t unprecedented in Mexican Spanish: marrano, which many Mexicans use to call someone a “pig” or “filthy,” comes from the Inquisition-era slur used against Jews who converted to Christianity. All this wordplay is further proof that Mexico is a country with a racial problem that makes America seem like Sesame Street. The proper Spanish word for “curly,” by the way, is rizado.
MOST WANTED
$200REWARD
COMAL COUNTY ’S
CARRILLO,JUANITA DELEONFemale • 5’00” • 140 lbsDOB: 08/16/1957CHARGE: Theft with two or more convictions for same offense
DIAZ,RAUL AMale • 5’03” • 145 lbsDOB: 02/08/1971CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for driving while intoxicated with child under 15 YOA
LEE,BRADLEY JOEMale • 5’10” • 225 lbsDOB: 09/24/1982CHARGE: Motion to revoke for possession of a controlled substance
KINCAID,RYAN ANDREWMale • 6’00” • 185 lbsDOB: 05/26/1989CHARGE: Court’s Motion to revoke probation for possession of a controlled substance pg 1 under 1 gram
BAXTER,EDWARD LEEMale • 5’06” • 150 lbsDOB: 03/16/1953CHARGE: Possession of a controlled substance
LYNCH,ALLAN LEE
Male • 5’07” • 175 lbsDOB: 12/18/1982
CHARGE: Failure to comply with sex
offender registration
MLADEK,MERANDA K
Female • 5’05” • 130 lbsDOB: 10/21/1981
CHARGE: Failure to appear for possession
of a controlled substance
SALINAS,LARA NOEL
Female • 5’09” • 170 lbsDOB: 08/05/1986
CHARGE: Failure to appear for burglary
of habitation
SERRANO,RICARDO RICKYMale • 5’06” • 165 lbs
DOB: 02/17/1986CHARGE: Two counts of bail jumping/ failure
to appear
ORTIZ,DANIEL
Male • 5’08” • 200 lbsDOB: 05/21/1972
CHARGE: Bail jumping/ failure
to appear
The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act Code 552.001 st.seq.annotated Public Record and Information disclosure statues. This is a true and accurate account as of Monday, March 04, 2013 at 9:45 am and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. For anonymous tips and rewards, please contact Crime Stoppers at: 24-Hour Phone number 830.620.3400; Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm 830.620.3411. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Sheriff’s Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.
FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL COUNTY’S MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous. 830.620.3400 - 24-Hour830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm
-ARREST
ED-
-ARREST
ED-
-ARREST
ED-
-ARREST
ED-
-ARREST
ED-
-ARREST
ED-
-ARREST
ED-
-ARREST
ED-
Ask the Mexican at [email protected], be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or ask him a video question at youtube.
com/askamexicano!
ASK A MEXICAN!
!
10 AD SALES 830.483.9563 TXCITIZEN.COM 11
Uncle Esel,One day I heard someone from the
city mention that public bathrooms in the park or somewhere were used for “other” things with a big emphasis on the word other. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Is there some big drug problem that they are referring too?
Thank You,Hellen
Dear Hellen, I don’t really think they were talking about
drug problems in public restrooms though that may at times pop up. I think the thinly veiled reference was about illicit sexual behavior occurring in the bathrooms. You see, there is a group of George Michael wannabees hanging out in public bathrooms, and I don’t mean wannabee singers in that bunch. In years past, public bathrooms in the parks of this city and many other cities have been utilized as meeting places for an occasional anonymous sich treffen or hooking up. Seems like over the years, one of the most notorious places has been the bathroom at Cypress Bend Park, where even some well respected (previously respected) ahhemm, gentlemen have gone to display their wide stance.
Businessmen and even school teachers have been caught in the act of lewd behavior and in other cities, politicians, priests and policemen have been caught. Perhaps the time has come for some group to enact a bathroom ban. From what the Esel hears, most of our local lewd behavior comes from inappropriate photography by people on the banks of the Comal River, but that’s all in the interest of monitoring behavior, so once again, no problem here. Right?
Love, K
Uncle Esel,My 13 year old daughter has a
steady and serious boyfriend and I’ve recently heard her awake after midnight with what I think is texting. I want her to respect me as a mother but I am a little curious about the texting. Do I dare messing up our relationship as best friends by demanding to see her texts or sneaking a look while she is in the shower, which is the only time she doesn’t take her phone with her?
Sincerely (withheld)
Dear No-Name Clueless Mom,She’s thirteen. Do you really have to ask
this question? This Esel may be old fashioned, but this girl is way too young to be in a steady and serious relationship with a boy. Heck yeah
you have a duty to find out what she is up to, but you’ve already set up a relationship that sounds less like a mother and more like a running around pal. You are fighting a battle that you should never have set up. You need to assert your role as mother and show that your interest is as her mother and then you can get some control back.
There is nothing wrong with being friends with your children, but when that blocks your role as parent, you’re doing it wrong. When Esel was thirteen, a switch was still in good use and boy did I deserve it from time to time. Unfortunately, the switch has gone the way of the pay phone, U.S. born presidents and quality TV. Gain control soon and just maybe you won’t be a Grandma in the fall.
Love, K
Dear Mr. Esel,Saw the sinkhole that swallowed up
some poor dude in Florida. Any chance of sink holes around here?
Cheers,Eddie
Dear Eddie, There is no record of any sinkhole
swallowing up any local dudes. While we occasionally have some cliff edges fall off in the Hill Country as well as water carving up some dirt and disappearing into a recharge feature in the limestone hills, that stuff doesn’t happen as much here. That’s not to say they don’t exist, as one very famous sinkhole is called the Devil’s Sinkhole near Rock Springs.
Sinkholes can more frequently occur further into the Edwards Plataea, but they are not like the ones we more commonly see in Florida, East Texas, or Southeast Texas that make the news. One more famous sinkhole in Texas occurred near Houston, in Daisetta, Texas which has suffered from many sinkholes given that the entire town sits on a what is essentially a big salt dome. Many of these East Texas sinkholes are actually the result of human activity in the form of abandoned salt mines. Rest assured, the prospects of suffering a sinkhole here in town are far, far less than the effect of a whole other kind of hole that coincidently, probably comes from East Texas also.
Love, K
ADVICE FROM
UNCLE ESEL
Uncle K. Esel is a lifetime resident of our fair city, and is well known for his sage advice on a wide range of topics. If you find yourself perplexed with no one to turn to, send your question to Uncle Esel at: [email protected]. Be sure to write “Question for Uncle Esel” in the subject line of your email.
ASK A MEXICAN!
830-626-9464(WING)983 LOOP 337 • NEW BRAUNFELS, TX 78130
Buy 1 Meal &2 Beverages & receive
2nd Meal 50% offDine-in only, limit one per customer. Limit one coupon per table. Not valid
with any other offers. Maximum discount $6.00.Valid at New Braunfels and San Antonio Location Only.
Expires 4/3/13
GREAT FOOD & GREAT ENTERTAINMENT
No matter who you're cheering
for, we've got your game!
Enjoy all the NBA and NCAA action on our
20+ HD TVs!
Text “WINGSNB”
to 72727
FOR GREAT OFFERS
& GIVEAWAYS!
12 AD SALES 830.483.9563 TXCITIZEN.COM 13
HWY 46, 2 MILES PAST CLEAR SPRINGS
GIT CHA SUM
Parties/[email protected]
830-379-8883
GIT CHA SUMLip Smackin', Finger Lickin', Award Winnin' South Texas
BBQ and a Cold Beer!
Thursday march 7Steven Roloff & Friends
8pm-12am
Friday March 8Randy Sosa & Friends
8pm-12am
Saturday March 9Blues Burners 9pm-1am
"Where Texans Eat Dirty Good!"
Lip Smackin', Finger Lickin', Award Winnin' South Texas
BBQ and a Cold Beer!
Thursday march 7Steven Roloff & Friends
8pm-12am
Friday March 8Randy Sosa & Friends
8pm-12am
Saturday March 9Blues Burners 9pm-1am
"Where Texans Eat Dirty Good!"
HAPPY COWB A R & G R I L L
9103 FM 1102“San Braunfels” (Hunter, TX)
512.353.0030
Pool Tournament Every Monday 8pmEvery Tuesday is Open Jam
hosted by Uncle Daddy 8pm
BELTSANDER RACES March 16!
March 8 Kim Meeks and Her Bad Habits
March 9 Manzy Lowry Band
March 15 3 Chord Rodeo
March 16 AC & the Bad Billys Following Beltsander Races
Kitchen Hours:Tues-Fri 11:30am-10pmSat & Sun 2pm-10pm
NEW MENU!Including �sh and
fried bologna sandwiches
The Udder Place in Hunter, TX
NEVER
A COVER!
TXCITIZEN.COM 13
Sierra Nevada’s Ruthless Rye IPAWhat’s in a name? A moniker? A hashtag, even? So what’s in Rye? Consider the rye, if you will, and tell me what you see. Is it a toasty bread with fennel seeds, literally sandwiching a pile of salty pink meat? Is it a brown liquor, kind of spicy and sweet and filling the glass of a man from the 1950s? Or is it an IPA with a real animal spirit to it? Yes, if the world of IPAs was football, I think Rye IPAs would be rugby. Slightly different, a little more scary, but oddly unappreciated. Not to mention largely ignored by the media.
Regardless, there are some real honeys of Ryes out there. One of which is a seasonal release by the famous desert brewery, Sierra Nevada. While it seems that they don’t get much play outside of their wheelhouse beers, this seasonal is more celebrated than any of them. I’m particularly fond of their hefe, but that’s neither here nor there. You can find this IPA in grocery stores these days, bought up by the sixer and twelve pack. Of all the beers that occupy that kind of “no-man’s land”
between bottom-shelf gas station fodder and proper bottle shop alums, Ruthless Rye IPA is certainly... one of them.
Ok, I have to admit, to myself and the world, that I just don’t really swallow the hype on this one. I’m not saying it’s bad or anything, I’m just saying that judged as a Rye IPA, it doesn’t really cut the mustard (screw thousand-island, I’ll make my Reuben how I want). I’m thinking that sometimes these kinds of beers are given a bit of a leeway with how they are judged, considering their middle-market competition. It’s like the fact that when you generally see something next to the shrink wrapped Miller Lite tall-boy three pack, anything above a “Blah” gets a gold star and a pat on the back and free tickets to a magic show.
If Sierra Nevada wasn’t already so big, and the standards for big places so low, Ruthless Rye wouldn’t shake so many money-makers. Or hell, at least it wouldn’t be a freakin’ ninety-something on review sites. Alas, let us observe it objectively.
Ruthless Rye pours a solid dark amber, pretty clear, and has a pretty large, fluffy, and retaining head. I did mine in a tulip glass, but the aromas coming off of it were strong enough without it. Very floral, and a good enough hit of a grapefruit citrus note, but all were cranked up to eleven. It made it a little hard to appreciate the namesake, the rye.
Maybe in the taste then? Well, the first thing you get is just a ton of resinous hops and a very sweet, almost cloying bready malt. The overt sweetness I can contribute to the rye, and there was a kind of aftertaste of a spice, but for a Rye IPA to be a fairly one-dimensional IPA with hardly any Rye, I don’t think this is deserving of the praise. The resin lingers in a kind of chalky dryness, dissuading me from trying more. I think that is the real Achilles’ Heel here, it just brings down the drinkability so much. I am sad to say that of the several I drank this past week, I barely finished the first one, and let the other attempts at trying it out go to waste.
THE
WITH MITCHELL WILBURN
Mitchell Wilburn is our resident bon vivant and arbiter of all things barley. Send your beer questions to him at [email protected].
PRICKLY PEAR LOUNGE
As always, we urge you to DRINK RESPONSIBLY
WED MARCH 13WOO-HOO! Hump Day. IKR?
THU MARCH 14Pre-Season St Pat's Day Party
Wear some Green, Spend some GreenLadies Night • Karaoke w/Johnny V
FRI MARCH 15Big Warm-up Party for St Pat's Day
Green Beer & DJ KC
SAT MARCH 16ALL OUT ST PAT'S DAY PARTY!
Green Beer & Karaoke/Johnny V
SUN MARCH 17ST PAT's DAY is HERE!!!
Green Beer & Irish Stew While It Lasts!(By now you may need a bloody mary)
MON MARCH 18Pity Party for Those Who Have to Work!
TUE MARCH 19Really? Do You Need A Reason?
Really? Come On Down!1051 N. IH-35 | 830-625-8017
FREE Country Dance LessonsMarch’s Lesson ~
"Country Cha Cha"Fridays @ 7:30
Followed by COUNTRY DJ DANCE
Live Music Tues & Weds @ 8:30pm
Join us for our
Karaoke ContestThursdays @ 9pm
Join us for Happy Hour!11am-7pm Monday - Saturday
ALL Day Sunday
1390 McQueeney Rd, New Braunfels830-625-0045 or wateringholesaloon.comBecome a friend @ facebook.com/theholenb
Est. 1986
Your Birthday this WeekWITH THE "HEAVENLY BODIES", HELEN AND EILEEN CUNNINGHAM
Congratulations Pisces! You are the new Pope. Now the press and the Vatican and other useless organizations are going to try to snuff you out. It's a conspiracy. Now, do yourself a favor and dress the part. Get thee to a funky hat shop! I believe it was psychic acting teacher Juan LeToutoufitte who said "Commit! Commit! Commit!" And breathe.
Act the Pope, talk the Pope, become the Pope. Godspeed.
Dear Pisces: I'm sure you've seen the news regarding Pope Benedict's retirement. I'm sure you have - I'm an astrologist. And I'm also sure of what you're thinking, and I say GO FOR IT! Find a decent campaign manager, plan a bus tour, print up bumper stickers, and get ready to kiss a lot of beautiful babies. The road to Conclave is long and arduous, fraught with archdioceses and cardinals who'll want to see you, a layperson, fail, but it's about time that white smoke announced that a staunch believer in the Zodiac is now leader of the gaudiest church in the land!
14 TX CITIZEN 14 AD SALES 830.483.9563 TXCITIZEN.COM 15
TXCITIZEN.COM 15
Last WordWith Kelly Colby
The Politics of the UndeadModern culture has developed an interesting relationship with vampires. We have taken the monster into our hearts and developed compassion for him, even idolized him. Where once the vampire was a ghastly horror that slinked in the shadows and threatened our very souls, he is now a hero, (or at the very least misunderstood), a sparkly heartthrob for teenage girls to swoon over.
We invite him in; feed him ourselves and find others for him to feed on; and when he has drained us unto death, we accept our own demise gratefully and consider it a gift. Nothing could be more dangerous, and our foolish fascination with, and veneration of, the fiend may cost us dearly.
The vampire is a supernatural being but comes from mankind. Each vampire was once, himself, human, but now stands apart from humanity, abnormal and abhorrent to human nature. In fact, the vampire is such that it transcends both humanity and nature. He can mold, alter, and forestall many of what we see as the natural laws of the universe, but for all his purported immortality, his efforts are only temporary, and when nature reasserts itself, it does so savagely, often bringing woe to the vampire and all held under his sway.
The vampire, likewise, has no actual humanity but is subject to all of humanity’s failings. He is ever consumed by greed, lust… indeed all of the deadly sins. A vampire can certainly feign virtue, but any such “virtuous acts” inevitably lead to benefit primarily for the vampire. A vampire might feed or protect a thrall, but this is hardly compassion. It simply cements his own power over the hapless underling.
Being supernatural does not prevent the vampire from having some corollaries in nature, though. Vampires clearly exhibit features of both the predator and the parasite. Like most predators, the vampire fills its niche perfectly. Its abilities mirror humanity’s weaknesses. While it stands vastly outnumbered by its prey, it prevails by using guile, trickery, and raw power.
The vampire preys on easy meals first, focusing on the weak, ill, and outcasts of society, and he is more likely to turn the wealthy and powerful to his own purposes than confront them directly. In some respects, the vampire is a parasite as well. It feeds on its host and offers nothing of value in return. It uses humanity to
reproduce itself either by making other vampires or creating thralls bound to its will. The “gifts” a vampire appears to offer are always illusionary and do nothing but create new victims.
While vampires are powerful, they are not invulnerable. No vampire can abide any true faith. They may take on the trappings of virtue and holiness as a means of disguise, but they cringe in horror from anyone holding a philosophy that is pure of heart. Here, even symbols are of value, and when a vampire is faced with any true symbol of faith, they will do their best to demean, desecrate, or destroy it.
Vampires may also be sent into a state of torpor through loss of or inaccessibility to blood. Generally, this is done by driving a stake through the beast’s heart. This paralyzes the vampire, and without blood it will waste and wane in power, but a vampire dispatched in this way is not truly dead. Many vampires have been destroyed by lopping off their heads, but this is no protection against whatever progeny they may have created, and a hardy group of villagers throwing off one vampire lord may find themselves in no better position after the dust has settled.
Sunlight is the only true destroyer of vampires. Vampires cannot abide the light of day. Their flesh will smoke, their bodies shrivel, and ultimately they are turned to dust when exposed to the light. This has less to do with any scientific properties in sunlight than it does with removing all a vampire’s powers. A vampire in sunlight is laid bare in his evil for all to see. He cannot hide or beguile anyone in this position. A vampire is in this way made completely powerless, and a powerless vampire is nothing and as such, reverts to nothing, quite literally.
That is not to say that we should seek to destroy vampires. A vampire is so dangerous a creature that it is better to avoid one, if one can, than to kill it. Many vampire hunters have fallen under the power of the vampire they sought to destroy, and they can often be turned and used against those they once professed to protect. It’s the height of hubris to take combat to a vampire. Protect yourself if you can, but attacking a vampire directly is rarely prudent.
A better solution is to recognize the vampire for what it is and neutralize it as a threat. Putting distance between yourself and the vampire is a good tactic. It’s hardly wise to live in the shadow of a vampire’s lofty
castle. Place yourself as far out of reach of a vampire’s power as you can. In addition, there are ways to make your self less attractive to a vampire. Garlic, running water, and various herbal remedies have been suggested, but it is just as useful to remember that a vampire is a predator and prevent the vampire from using his predatory talents to make you prey.
Prepare yourself against the vampire’s guile, and assume that all favors have a compensatory cost. Likewise, avoid a vampire’s stealth. Be mindful of your surroundings during the night, and when faced with a situation where you must deal with someone you suspect is a vampire, insist that all his dealings be done in the daylight. As mentioned before, faith can be a powerful protector. Not only is it distasteful to the vampire, but it also allows someone to recognize the vampire for the evil that he is and resist his temptations.
Lastly, never invite a vampire into your home. A vampire will often rely on your compassion and good nature to trap you. He may seem harmless or even attractive, but underestimate him at your own peril.
This last thing is our greatest problem currently. From time immemorial vampires have been recognized as a danger and evil. They kill as easily as they breathe. Now, though, we seem to have lost our traditional good sense. This may not be a social accident. Vampires have long hoped to have a placid and willing group to prey on. They have, no doubt, put a good deal of resources into public relations, skewing public opinion to make it easier for them to ply their unspeakable trade. It has certainly happened before.
Don’t be fooled. A vampire is at all times seeking to victimize you, or someone else through his dealings with you. Remember that a vampire is first and always a predatory beast, seeking to live unjustly on the lifeblood of others. Don’t fall under the vampire’s spell. Don’t give up your life or your soul without a fight. Revile these creatures of the night, and force them into the sunlight when opportunity presents itself. We may never be rid of vampires, but we can, and should limit their power over us.
You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug.blogspot.com.
• SILK SCREENING • T-SHIRTS • BAGS • KOOZIES • SCHOOL SPIRIT& MUCH MORE!
786 S Castell Ave #DNew Braunfels, TX 78130
BLACK WHALE PUB
Specializing in Belgian Beers
100 Import Beers
24 Beers on Tap
Live Entertainment
Full Bar
Pool Tables ◊ Darts
367 Main Plaza830-625-6605
NEW!Smoke free lounge upstairs!
★★
TOYOTA CAMRY★
TOYOTA COROLLA★
TOYOTA TACOMA
WORTH THE WAIT. AND DEFINITELY WORTH THE DRIVE.
TOYOTA TUNDRA★
$ 245 A MONTH
$ 17,998OR
$ 275 A MONTH
$ 26,498OR
$ 155
$ 19,998OR
A MONTH
$ 145
$ 15,988OR
A MONTH
1NEW 2013 TACOMA REGULAR CAB, MODEL 7104, STOCK # DX018262. $19,895 MSRP LESS $1,897 DEALER DISCOUNT. COLLEGE GRAD AND MILITARY REBATES ARE NOT INCLUDED. 72 MONTHS AT 1.9% APR THROUGH SSFCU WITH APPROVED CREDIT. $15.55 PER THOUSAND. FINAL SALE PRICE $17,998 PLUS $150 DOC FEE AND T.T.L. OFFER ENDS 1/31/13. 2NEW 2012 TOYOTA CAMRY L, MODEL 2514, STOCK # CR256891, MSRP $23,155. $1000 GST REBATE PLUS $2257 DEALER DISCOUNT FOR $3257 TOTAL SAVINGS. 36 MO LEASE THROUGH TFS WITH APPROVED CREDIT. 12K MILES PER YEAR, $2,500 CDAS, NO SECURITY DEPOSIT REQUIRED WITH TIER I CREDIT SCORE. MUST TAKE DELIVERY FROM DEALER STOCK BY 1/31/13. COLLEGE GRAD AND MILITARY REBATES ARE NOT INCLUDED. FINAL SALE PRICE $19,905 PLUS $150 DOC FEE AND T.T.L. 3NEW 2013 TOYOTA COROLLA L AUTOMATIC, MODEL 1832, STOCK #DP111146, $18,160 MSRP, LESS $1000 GST REBATE, LESS $1162 DEALER DISCOUNT FOR $2,162 TOTAL SAVINGS. 36 MO LEASE THROUGH TFS WITH APPROVED CREDIT. 12K MILES PER YEAR, $2,645 CDAS, NO SECURITY DEPOSIT REQUIRED WITH TIER I CREDIT SCORE. MUST TAKE DELIVERY FROM DEALER STOCK BY 1/31/13. COLLEGE GRAD AND MILITARY REBATES ARE NOT INCLUDED. FINAL SALE PRICE $15,998 PLUS $150 DOC FEE AND T.T.L. 4NEW 2013 TUNDRA DOUBLE CAB, MODEL 8239, STOCK # DX055046, MSRP $30,508 LESS $2500 GST REBATE LESS $1510 DEALER DISCOUNT FOR $4010 TOTAL SAVINGS. 0% FOR 60 MONTHS AVAILABLE THROUGH TFS WITH APPROVED CREDIT. TIER ONE, TWO AND THREE. 36 MO LEASE THROUGH TFS WITH APPROVED CREDIT.12K MILES PER YEAR, $3,075 CDAS, NO SECURITY DEPOSIT REQUIRED WITH TIER I CREDIT SCORE. MUST TAKE DELIVERY FROM DEALER STOCK BY 1/31/13. COLLEGE GRAD AND MILITARY REBATES ARE NOT INCLUDED. FINAL SALE PRICE OF $26,498 PLUS $150 DOC FEE AND T.T.L.
www.sanmarcostoyota.com(888) 313-1999 • Text “Toyota” to 512512
1 2 3 4