the future of parenting

The Future of ParentingThe Future of Parenting

Psalm 127:3-5 Psalm 127:3-5 Children are a gift Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from the Lord; they are a reward from him. from him. 44 Children born to a Children born to a young man are like arrows in a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. warrior’s hands. 55 How joyful is How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of the man whose quiver is full of them! them!

Ps. 78:5-7 He commanded our Ps. 78:5-7 He commanded our ancestors to teach them to their ancestors to teach them to their children, children, 66 so the next generation so the next generation might know them— even the children might know them— even the children not yet born— and they in turn will not yet born— and they in turn will teach their own children. teach their own children. 77 So each So each generation should set its hope anew generation should set its hope anew on God, not forgetting his glorious on God, not forgetting his glorious miracles and obeying his commands. miracles and obeying his commands.

Eph. 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your Eph. 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the the discipline and instruction of the Lord.Lord.

What is the parent’s job?What is the parent’s job?

To love their children and To love their children and invest in them spiritually as a invest in them spiritually as a disciple.disciple.

To invest in their marriage to To invest in their marriage to provide an example and a provide an example and a stable life for their kids.stable life for their kids.

How does time spent in daycare How does time spent in daycare affect a child’s development?affect a child’s development?1990 Dr. Jay Belsky1990 Dr. Jay Belsky““Care initiated on a full or near-full-Care initiated on a full or near-full-

time basis in the first year of life time basis in the first year of life carried developmental risks.” carried developmental risks.” (Belsky,1986, 1988, 1990)(Belsky,1986, 1988, 1990)

““Daycare Wars” vs. BelskyDaycare Wars” vs. Belsky““To many of his fellow sociologists, he stood To many of his fellow sociologists, he stood

convicted as an adversary of working convicted as an adversary of working mothers.”mothers.”

“ “Belsky is a doom-sayer who is dismissive of Belsky is a doom-sayer who is dismissive of positive findings,” positive findings,”

His comments about reducing time in day care His comments about reducing time in day care were “a 1950s-style attack” on women.”were “a 1950s-style attack” on women.”

Brian Robertson. Brian Robertson. Daycare Deception.Daycare Deception.

How does time spent in daycare How does time spent in daycare affect a child’s development?affect a child’s development?Dr. Jay BelskyDr. Jay BelskyQuality, Quantity and Type of Quality, Quantity and Type of

Child Care: Effects on Child Child Care: Effects on Child Development in the USA Development in the USA

The StudyThe Study200820081364 Children 1364 Children Entered at age 1 mo. From 10 sites.Entered at age 1 mo. From 10 sites.They were age 15 at publicationThey were age 15 at publicationThey studied their families, social They studied their families, social

situation, etc. so they could control situation, etc. so they could control for various factors.for various factors.

Data was carefully analyzedData was carefully analyzed“…“…a host of statistical controls have a host of statistical controls have

been incorporated, including for been incorporated, including for differences between families in differences between families in socioeconomic status, maternal socioeconomic status, maternal psychological well being, and even the psychological well being, and even the quality of parenting provided by the quality of parenting provided by the mother.”mother.”

Attentive to differences in quality of care.Attentive to differences in quality of care.

FindingsFindings

FindingsFindingsQuality: Their study “highlights the Quality: Their study “highlights the

beneficial effects of more beneficial effects of more attentive, responsive and attentive, responsive and stimulating care, at virtually stimulating care, at virtually whatever age measured and, whatever age measured and, conversely, the developmental conversely, the developmental costs of poorer quality care.”costs of poorer quality care.”

FindingsFindingsType of Care: Center vs. HomeType of Care: Center vs. Home

FindingsFindingsType of Care: Center vs. HomeType of Care: Center vs. Home

“The more time children spent in centers from 3–54 months of age,…the more cognitively and linguistically advanced they were through 3rd grade on some measure and the more they manifest aggressive and disobedient behavior through 6th grade.”

FindingsFindingsQuantity: “The NICHD SECC Quantity: “The NICHD SECC

finds quantity of time spent in finds quantity of time spent in child care to be systematically child care to be systematically related to indices of the parent-related to indices of the parent-child relationship and child relationship and socioemotional adjustment.”socioemotional adjustment.”

FindingsFindings

Quantity: “Quantity: “the NICHD SECC the NICHD SECC finds quantity of time spent in finds quantity of time spent in child care to be systematic-child care to be systematic-ally related to indices of the ally related to indices of the parent-child relationship and parent-child relationship and socioemotional adjustment.”socioemotional adjustment.”

When mothers evinced low levels of sensitivity in interacting with theirinfants (at 6 and 15 months) and averaged more than just 10 hours per week of care during the period 3–15 months (i.e., even less than 20 hours), infants were more likely to develop insecure attachments to their mothers than would otherwise have been expected (NICHD ECCRN, 1997).

FindingsFindings


“more time in care across the period 6–36 months predicted less harmonious behaviour.” [between mom and child]

FindingsFindings


“more time in care across the period 6–36 months predicted less harmonious behaviur.” [between mom and child]“more time spent in nonmaternal care also proved predictive of (somewhat) elevated levels of problem behavior involving aggression and disobedience”

FindingsFindings


“more time in care across the period 6–36 months predicted less harmonious behavior.” [between mom and child]“more time spent in nonmaternal care also proved predictive of (somewhat) elevated levels of problem behavior involving aggression and disobedience.”“Rather, more time in nonmaternal care across the first 4.5 years of life predicted higher levels of assertiveness, disobedience/defiance,and aggression (NICHD ECCRN, 2003b).”

FindingsFindings


“Worth noting, too, is that all the results just summarized held across the sample, as factors like family economic status, marital status, and maternal education did not moderate the effect of quantity of child care through kindergarten age on caregiver-reported behavior problems. Neither, as could be inferred from the preceding discussion, did quality of care moderate this effect.”

FindingsFindings


“Even though there remains healthy debate about the size and meaningfulness of virtually all child care effects, it must be remembered that more and more children seem to be spending more and more time at younger and younger ages in non-maternal care arrangements in the English-speaking, if not Western, world. This means that even small effects, when experienced by many children, may have broad-scale consequences (Belsky, 2001; NICHD ECCRN, 2006).”

Other major studies corroborateOther major studies corroboratethis data:this data:England 3,000 childrenEngland 3,000 childrenNorthern Ireland- 800 childrenNorthern Ireland- 800 children

Recommendations from paper:Recommendations from paper:

““[Develop] strategies for reducing [Develop] strategies for reducing the time children spend in non-the time children spend in non-maternal care across the infant, maternal care across the infant, toddler, and preschool years toddler, and preschool years (e.g.,part-time employment), (e.g.,part-time employment), particularly center-based care.”particularly center-based care.”

My recommendations:My recommendations:Children are a gift and a stewardship Children are a gift and a stewardship

from God.from God.Plan in advance and do what you can so Plan in advance and do what you can so

you, as parents, raise your children.you, as parents, raise your children.The church should assist single-parent The church should assist single-parent

and poor families.and poor families.Don’t be distracted parents.Don’t be distracted parents.

The Future of Parenting at Xenos

Servant Team MeetingSept 2012

Why We Did What We Did

Before getting married- Because her mom stayed home and because my mom didn’t

- Bought a house based on one income

Before having kids- Watching women try to do it- Reading up on simple living



Before having kids- Watching women try to do it- Reading up on simple living

Full year in day care in Ohio = $7889 (NACCRRA, 2012 report)

Full year at Columbus State = $2942.88


Since having kids- Studies on daycare- Parents are in a unique role

- Affection and discipline

Prov. 19:18 – Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives.


Since having kids- Studies on daycare- Parents are in a unique role

- Affection and discipline- Modeling and values- Consistent presence in their lives- Accountability before God

Questions and Objections

“Why prefer mom over dad?”- See studies on this topic


“Why prefer mom over dad?”- See studies on this topic

Dr. Burton White (for ages 8-18 months) APA Monitor, American Psychological Association, Washington DC 7:4 (1976)

The single most important factor in the life of the child is his or her mother.

She exercises more influence on her child’s experiences than any other person or circumstance.


“Why prefer mom over dad?”- See studies on this topic- Argument from design- Hard to find relevant Scripture

- Prov 31- 1 Tim 5:8, 14



- Prov 31- 1 Tim 5:8, 14

1 Tim 5:8 – But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.



- Prov 31- 1 Tim 5:8, 14- Titus 2:4-5

1 Tim 5:14 – So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes…



- Prov 31- 1 Tim 5:8, 14- Titus 2:4-5

Titus 2:4-5 – [T]hey may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind…


“What about single moms?”

The families most likely to use center-based day care are those earning over $75,000 a year. —Day Care Deception, p. 122


“But you work for Xenos!”


“I’d go crazy if I was home with my kids all day”


“We can’t afford to”- Working carries additional costs


“We can’t afford to”- Working carries additional costs

The median after-tax income of married mothers who work is less than $20,000;

with the costs of commuting, meals, clothing and other work-related expenses, that second job nets just over $10,000.” —Day Care Deception, p. 122


“We can’t afford to”- Working carries additional costs- Other costs too- Many people feel like they have no choice



Dr. Burton White (The Forgotten Side of Daycare for Under 3’s, p. 15)

The people who create substitute care facilities are not doing it primarily because they’re looking for better ways of raising babies.



Dr. Burton White (The Forgotten Side of Daycare for Under 3’s, p. 15)

They’re doing it for legitimate needs or perceived needs of adults.

This is not an institution that’s been designed because parents can’t raise babies well enough, in most cases.



The decision to go down to one income happens long before you have kids

- Major purchases, recurring expenses- Dad’s career- Save money while you are DINKs- Other ways to bring in more income

Conclusion

- Raising Our Own Kids

- Increased Availability for Ministry

- Simple Living

Parenting in XenosParenting in Xenos

My experienceMy experienceParenting in XenosParenting in Xenos

My experienceMy experienceMy researchMy research


Parenting in XenosParenting in XenosThe number of “latch-key” children, unattended at home for much of the day after school, rose from 1.6 million in 1976 to 12 million in 1994.

Parenting in XenosParenting in XenosThe number of “latch-key” children, unattended at home for much of the day after school, rose from 1.6 million in 1976 to 12 million in 1994. Half of all parents, according to a 1995 Gallup poll, feel that they do not spend enough time with their children; for employed parents, the proportion is two-thirds.33

Parenting in XenosParenting in XenosThe number of “latch-key” children, unattended at home for much of the day after school, rose from 1.6 million in 1976 to 12 million in 1994. Half of all parents, according to a 1995 Gallup poll, feel that they do not spend enough time with their children; for employed parents, the proportion is two-thirds.33 An extensive Los Angeles Times survey of parents in 1999 found that “having enough time to spend with children” ranked as the top “important problem facing parents raising children today,” above even “making sure children get good education.”34

Later:Later: - put God first- put God first - trust fellow believers- trust fellow believers - work together- work together

Parenting in XenosParenting in XenosMost likely to use daycare = incomes of $75,000


Parenting in XenosParenting in XenosMost likely to use daycare = incomes of $75,000Most likely to stay at home = $20,000-24,000


Parenting in XenosParenting in XenosMost likely to use daycare = incomes of $75,000Most likely to stay at home = $20,000-24,000Top 30% incomes use over half the child care credit


Parenting in XenosParenting in XenosMost likely to use daycare = incomes of $75,000Most likely to stay at home = $20,000-24,000Top 30% incomes use over half the child care creditSubsidy for households for commercial day care often exceeds $7000 and many in congress trying to increase it.


Parenting in XenosParenting in XenosMost likely to use daycare = incomes of $75,000Most likely to stay at home = $20,000-24,000Top 30% incomes use over half the child care creditSubsidy for households for commercial day care often exceeds $7000 and many in congress trying to increase it.Dual-income families get almost all of these benefits.


Parenting in XenosParenting in XenosMost likely to use daycare = incomes of $75,000Most likely to stay at home = $20,000-24,000Top 30% incomes use over half the child care creditSubsidy for households for commercial day care often exceeds $7000 and many in congress trying to increase it.Dual-income families get almost all of these benefits.In addition, tax laws currently allow employers to provide up to $5000 tax free



Mothers’ recognition of crying



Mothers’ recognition of cryingRussian and Rumanian orphanages



Mothers’ recognition of cryingRussian and Rumanian orphanagesChild development experts across the spectrum, whatever their position on outside-the-home care, agree that the first three years are a crucially formative period, and that inadequate care during this time has lasting detrimental effects on emotional, intellectual and physical development.



Toorisky!

My experienceMy experienceMy researchMy researchImplications:Implications:


My experienceMy experienceMy researchMy researchImplications:Implications: - plan ahead!- plan ahead!


My experienceMy experienceMy researchMy researchImplications:Implications: - plan ahead!- plan ahead! - get help- get help


My experienceMy experienceMy researchMy researchImplications:Implications: - plan ahead!- plan ahead! - get help- get help - invest- invest


Later:Later:


Later:Later: - put God first- put God first


Later:Later: - put God first- put God first - trust fellow believers- trust fellow believers


Comments?Comments?Questions?Questions?Experiences?Experiences?


the future of parenting

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type of child care

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week of care

study20081364 children

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