single!Young Christian Woman

A PUBLICATION OF ON MY OWN NOW MIN ISTRIES DEC 10

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having a quarter-life

crisis?

Be Christmasto the World!

A righteous holiday gift

substitutesfor boots5

sSTRAIGHT TALK FROM THE PROVERBS

The Cure for PGD (Post Gifting Depression)By Donna Lee Schillinger

MOVING OUT ... SETTLING IN

A Quarter-life CrisisBy Kimberly Schluterman

CENTER RING How to be Christmas to the World By Steve Brown

DEAR GABBY

Answers the GrinchBy The Gabster

SPARE CHANGE

The 12 Hidden Costs of ChristmasBy Julie Ann

FASHION DIVINA

This Little Piggy is Nice and Cozy:5 Substitutes for BootsBy Tamara Jane and Donna Lee Schillinger

JUST WHAT YOU NEED

A Righteous Holiday GiftBy Donna Lee Schillinger

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EDITOR IN CHIEFDonna Lee Schillingerwww.twitter.com/D_L_Schillinger

ART DIRECTIONDaniela Bermúdez

DEC 2010

A publication of ON MY OWN NOW MINISTRIESwww.onmyownnow.com

10.

single! young christian woman

sFridge-worthy.

“In this interesting and thought-provoking exploration of the book of Proverbs, Schillinger takes young women along a journey that will help them to make better, saf-er, and more sound decisions.”

Cheryl C. MalandrinosThe Book Connection blog

Now Available at www.onmyownnow.com,at Amazon, B&N and a library and bookstore near you.

Straight talk from the proverbs for young Christian women who want to remain pure, debt-free and regret-free.

We see high drama in the movies all the time, but in real life, big acting does not win awards.

STRAIGHT TALK

4

THE CURE

TO PGD( POST-GIFTING DEPRESSION )

BY DONNA LEE SCHILLINGER

5

I denied myself nothing my eyes de-sired; I refused my heart no pleasure … Yet when I surveyed all my hands had done … everything was mean-

ingless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 (in part).

STRAIGHT TALK

6

When I was in the Peace Corps in Ecuador, I took a liking to a six-year-old boy who had run away from home and was staying in an orphanage while officials tried to lo-cate his parents.

I wanted to do something special for this boy, so I asked permission to take him home with me for one night. I worked in the social service system, and the powers that were knew me, so they agreed. This happened to corre-spond to my house-sitting for an American diplomat, so I took the boy to the diplomat’s house, which was a lot nicer than my humble Peace Corps abode, and was fully stocked with toys, as the diplomat’s family included two children.

The little boy was from a poor family, undoubtedly. And although the orphanage had some playground equip-ment, I doubted this child had played with very many toys in his life. In contrast, the two American children had a lot of toys — an entire room dedicated to toys. For one night, the little runaway would get to live like the privi-leged American children of that household did every day – quite Prince-and-the-Pauperesque.

When that little boy saw all those toys, his face glowed like a sunrise. Upon my urging, he dug into the toys, fast and furious. He picked up each toy, looked at it, asked me what it was or how it worked, made it do what it was sup-posed to do, put it down and then moved to another toy. He spent about two hours going through every toy in the room. When he had played with the last toy, he sat down, looked up at me with a sort of spoiled look on his face and said, “Is this all there is? I want more.” Amazing. I wish Guinness had been there; I’m sure that I must have set the world record for spoiling a child in the least amount of time.

He was still the sweet kid I picked up from the orphan-age that day, but in short order, he had exhausted modern life. In a matter of hours, he completed a cycle that takes many of us half our lives, while many others never come full circle. He had gone from having nothing to having ev-erything he could ever dream of, only to arrive at the ab-surdist conclusion: Is this all there is?

Fast forward to here and now and you and me, this Christ-mas. Something similar to this happens to me each year on Christmas morning. I’ve been anticipating opening gifts for weeks, and then in a colorful frenzy of flying pa-

per and bows, it’s all open and laid bare at my feet. As I survey the loot, my internal smile fades as I ask myself, “Is this all I got?” OK, I’m being really honest here, so please don’t think I’m a brat. Furthermore, I don’t think it’s just me. I’m willing to bet a lot of brutally self-aware people would admit to this letdown too. I think it’s just part of the process – all those gifts put us on an artificial high from which we have to come down. On the outside, we may be descending gracefully, as we store our new socks and sweaters, and show off our new jewelry to our Christmas dinner company. But on the inside, we may be pitching a little fit, thinking, I wanted more!

Just like I didn’t dare say, “Shame on you!” to that sweet little runaway (OK, I admit, I can’t remember his name!), I’m not going to shame you or me either — well, not for that feeling of wanting more after the last gift is opened, anyway. What we should be ashamed of is that we’ve made the birth of our Lord and Savior the annual occa-sion that sets us up to experience the absurdity of mate-rialism. That we are eager and willing participants of it on any date is to our discredit, but on the birthday of Jesus Christ? How very wrong.

As I see it, there are two possible ways out of this conun-drum – and neither is easy to pull off. 1. We could control our experience to ensure that letdown doesn’t happen on Christmas morning, by insisting that someone (boyfriend, parents, rich uncle) gets for us the ultimate gift – that very thing that could not disappoint. For me, this year, it would be a cruise to Antarctica. I can almost guarantee there would be no anticlimax to finding tickets for that under my tree. 2. We can control our experience to ensure that letdown doesn’t happen on Christmas morning by making that day about something other than gift-giving. Sounds radical, but it’s very doable. We actually have a holiday like that – it’s called Thanksgiving. No one expects gifts on Thanksgiving, it’s a wonderfully sacred day for family and appreciating our heritage and our many blessings. No gifts, no letdown, and we generally keep the true purpose of the holiday in focus.

What we should be ashamed of is that we’ve made the birth of our Lord and Savior the annual occasion that sets us up to experience the absurdity of materialism. How very wrong.

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Why couldn’t we do this for Christmas? I know exactly what you’re thinking: Nobody else is doing it; the whole world would be against it; it would be complete and total nonconformity; and furthermore, I like Christmas the way it is! Ironically those are also the strongest arguments for ditching our current tradition. As followers of Christ, “ev-erybody’s doing it,” should never be sufficient rational for our actions. Jesus said, “Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” Matt. 7:13b-14. And we also know that we are not to conform to the pattern of this world (Roms. 12:2a). We’re in this world, but not of it, which re-quires us to examine all we do under the tough scrutiny of this standard: Would Jesus approve?

Would Jesus approve of $500 of spending per person on Christmas gifts? If not, what amount do you think He might approve of? Maybe the amount doesn’t matter if the gift is practical and will be put to good use, like a cap-puccino machine or Hickory Farms sausage rolls? (Oops, I being sarcastic again.) I’m not going to answer this ques-tion, just pose it: How do you think Jesus would like for you to spend your money on His birthday?

My birthday is coming up, and as the keeper of the purse in my house, I care very much about how much is spent on that occasion. I want a homemade cake, a clean house (without any effort on my part) and a pedicure - $10 at a local beauty college. I approve of this frivolous use of $10 on my birthday! On the other hand, though I would be en-deared at the gesture, if my husband were to bring home an emerald ring (I’ve always wanted an emerald ring), I would wear it on Christmas and then insist he return it and get our money back on December 26. I could not in good conscience enjoy that ring, knowing the power to pay other obligations that it represented. If wearing an emerald ring were a higher priority than publishing my next Christian book or saving for my children’s college education, I could keep it and enjoy it. And this, I’m afraid,

is why we can enjoy so many of the expensive trinkets we give and get at Christmas … because having them is higher on the priority list than some other things. Smile Train can fix a cleft palate for $250. For the same cost as my emerald ring, I could make a life-changing gift to two children. But who’s thinking in these terms as we cruise the mall looking for gifts? Nonetheless, I am not exoner-ated in choosing an emerald ring simply because I didn’t think of giving the money instead for two cleft palate sur-geries. I feel certain that “It never occurred to me,” will not work as an excuse when Jesus is separating the sheep and the goats.

Please don’t think me a Grinch. I love holy days as much as the next good Christian and I’m deeply sentimental, which is why I want my holidays to mean more. I’m not against gift-giving, but I am for gifts that mean more than fuzzy socks do (although I love me some fuzzy socks!). What rational argument can be made against gift-giving in a way that is consistent with our espoused values and beliefs? Gifts given and received in His spirit will not cre-ate a letdown, and are anything but meaningless.

What rational argument can be made against gift-giving in a way that is consistent with our espoused values and beliefs? Gifts given and received in His spirit will not cre-ate a letdown, and are anything but meaningless.

End note:

In preparing this article, I came across an interesting Web page entitled Liberal Rea-sons Not to Celebrate Christmas. If my reasons for nonconformity with current Christ-mas practices haven’t resonated with you, maybe some of those will.

What rational argument can be made against gift-giving in a way that is consistent with our espoused values and beliefs? Gifts given and received in His spirit will not create a letdown, and are anything but meaningless.

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MOVING OUT . . . SETTL ING IN

A quarter- lifeCrisis

I’m about a third of the way through the 25th year of my life. It doesn’t get much more “mid-twenties” than that. My Facebook status today says, “We enjoyed a perfect fire all day, then went out and bought a beautiful Christmas tree. I couldn’t be happier in love and in life.” There’s no doubt about it – I’m in a very good place. My job isn’t what I want it to be (it’s a tough economy), but it’s steady and secure, and who cares anyway since the 128 hours of the week outside of work are sickeningly blissful.

If you’re not feelin’ my happiness, you should know that I didn’t arrive here in the timing or way I expected. Take heart, you have every possibility of finding bliss in your own time too.

Since I was 18 years old, I wanted to be a licensed counsel-or. My relationships, both spiritual and personal, were the most important priorities in my life, and a career in counsel-ing would fulfill my desire for ministry, as well as equip me with the tools to make my relationships the best they could be.

BY K IMBERLY SCHLUTERMAN

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With this as the plan, I majored in communication in col-lege, with the intent to get a master’s degree in counsel-ing. During my last year at college, I chose a graduate pro-gram at a renowned seminary in Dallas. My friends and family supported me every step of the way. They prayed for me, wrote letters of recommendation, and offered whatever they had. When I was accepted, they were all very proud of me, and I felt the most optimistic I’d ever felt in my life. I had a good plan and a good way to get there.

Then about halfway through my last semester of college, I was walking home from class when I literally stopped in my tracks. With almost no warning, I realized that I didn’t want to be a counselor anymore. My reasons for having chosen that career field hadn’t changed, but I didn’t want my relationships to be my job. Furthermore, I lost the free housing I had been counting on during my seminary years, and suddenly the cost of attending was more than I was prepared for. I’d never been in debt before, and I just didn’t think I was supposed to start now. I prayed a lot during the next few weeks because deciding not to go to seminary was harder than deciding to go. I knew it would disappoint a lot of people and I hated that. The disap-pointment of people who loved me was the hardest part to deal with, but I knew that a change in life direction was the right thing for me.

After graduation, I got a job for which I am overqualified and underpaid, but it allowed me to live in the town I love. This town is where I met (shortly before I graduated) and recently married the man I love. I love it here! But I’m still in the same job I got right out of college, and I never did decide what, if not counseling, I wanted to do with my life. The more I thought about that, the more frustrated I be-came. It was like a mid-life crisis about 20 years too early. Yes, I’m in a good place, but no, I’m not really where I want to be. And where am I going? I’ve been mid-twenties-cri-sis-ing for about the past year.

But three weeks ago, Husband and I were sitting on the couch watching TV when it hit me: I knew what I wanted to be! I felt excited about my professional future for the first time since I was accepted to that seminary four years ago. I told him all about it, and, of course, he was support-ive. Our plans for proceeding are still in infant stages, but they are progressing. By next month’s column, I hope to be telling you about all of the official updates.

You know, it would have been easy for me to look back on the last eight years and feel like I’d made a big mistake. I got a degree in communication because it was good prep-aration for a master’s in counseling, but by itself? Hard-ly lucrative! What did I get myself into? How could I be wrong for so long and not figure it out until so late? And all those people I disappointed? Yes, it would be very easy to think it was all one big mistake. But I really don’t think it was. And this is what I say to anyone who read the first paragraph of this column and lamented that they weren’t in a happy place: You never know what direction your life will go, which route you’ll take to get there, or who you’ll be when you arrive. The smart decisions you make today might look foolish tomorrow, but you can only do the best you can with what you have right now. The oft-quoted Jer-emiah 29:11 tells us, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” When you’re 18 and on your own, and trying to figure out where you’re go-ing, let God’s promise to prosper you give you peace. And if you do end up in your mid-twenties, wondering “What now?” I hope you don’t take as long I did to figure it out.

I wonder what my mid-forties will look like.

If you’re not feelin’ my happiness, you should know that I didn’t arrive here in the timing or way I expected. Take heart, you have every possibility of finding bliss in your own time too.

“ “

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CENTER RING

How to be Christmas

to the Worldab

ab

BY STEVE BROWN

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And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

Philippians 2:7-8

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s you may know, most of my life I’ve been a Scrooge about Christmas. While I still some-times struggle with that, I am a lot better. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I’m growing in Christ, maybe my wife’s Christmas spirit is

transforming me or it could be that I’m no longer a pastor with all the work a pastor has to do at Christmas.

However, I think the real reason I’m a bit more into Christ-mas is that God has been teaching me that I don’t have to be so much in control. Actually, it’s a deeper lesson than that. He’s teaching me that my efforts to control things are silly because I never was and never will be in control of anything.

Let me give you a nontraditional Christmas text, a power-ful statement about the incarnation of God in Christ. Paul said in Philippians 2:5-11:

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, be-ing born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Talk about going to a dangerous place without any weap-ons or any control...That’s what the incarnation was all about. Paul said that Jesus “made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men” and that “he humbled himself.” The world has always been a dangerous place for babies...and God became a baby.

Good heavens! What was He thinking?!

He was thinking about you and me.

The reason Christmas is such a wonderful time is be-cause it is the time we set apart to remember how much God loved His people. It was the time when God came to us because we couldn’t come to Him. It was the time when God told us He wasn’t angry and that He would love

us without reservation and without condition. It was the time when God took the armor off and became vulnerable to the worst we could do to him.

A long while back, our grandchildren were with us in Flor-ida. Jennifer, their mother, tried her best to get the girls to eat quickly because they needed to get out the door and were running late.

She tried begging, she tried telling them how good the food was and she told them that, if they didn’t eat, they wouldn’t get to go out. Everything she tried didn’t work.

So I decided to fix it. In my deepest and most authorita-tive voice I said, “Girls! Eat the food or I’m going to break your face!”

It got very quiet around the dinner table. Then Christy, who was 5-years-old at the time, started laughing. She said, “Pops, I know you. You would never break my face!”

Christmas is the time when God let us know what He was really like. He went to a lot of trouble to tell us that He wouldn’t “break our faces.” When we understand that and say, “Father, I know you now. You would never break my face,” I suspect He is as delighted as I was with Chris-ty’s understanding that her “Pops” loved her and would never hurt her.

Of course, you already knew that. Christmas is God’s gift to us. But let me tell you something perhaps you didn’t know: We are called to be God’s gift to one another and to the world. Note that Paul said, “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.” In other words, Christmas is not only the gift of God to us; it is our call to be a gift to one another and to the world. It is the model of what we are supposed to be.

How do we become “Christmas” to others? The same way Jesus became Christmas for us.

cdJesus Was Defenseless.

abJesus didn’t try to protect Himself. He “made himself nothing.”

I don’t know about you, but I spend a lot of my time trying to defend myself and God. I know. That’s silly and a bit neurotic. I don’t have anything to defend and God doesn’t need any defending – He was doing fine long before I came along.

ACENTER RING

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I spent a lot of time recently talking to a dear friend who was feeling horribly guilty about something he did almost 19 years ago. He said that there was no excuse for what he had done. I told him, “Of course there was no excuse. You’re a sinner and, as Paul said to the Romans, you have no excuse. But God loves you and has forgiven you. Just don’t pretend to be anything other than what you are...a man without an excuse.”

That is what it means to be defenseless. In Jesus’ case, it was because He chose to be defenseless. In our case, it is because we really are. We don’t have to pretend to be better than we are to our brothers and sisters in Christ or to the world to which we have been sent. It is our gift to them. If we pretend to be better than we are, if we de-fend ourselves, if we put on our “emotional and spiritual armor,” they will think that Christmas is only for good people who are very religious. Until we become defense-less – without excuse, without armor – we will be only a curse to one another and to the world.

cdJesus Was Demoted.

abPaul said that Jesus “took the form of a servant.”

Have you ever thought that we are here for “them” in the same way that Jesus was here for us? It’s true. We think that we are special because we are Christians. Being spe-cial in the army at boot camp and as a Christian mean pretty much the same thing...We clean the latrines.

In His teaching the parable of the Good Samaritan, I heard a preacher make the following observation: The thieves said, “What you have is mine, I will take it.” The religious leaders who passed by said, “What is mine is mine and you can’t have it.” The Good Samaritan said, “What is mine is yours and, if you need it, you can have it.”

We are called to be Christmas to one another and to the world...and the way we do that is by being a servant the way Jesus was a servant.

cdJesus Was Determined.

abHe knew the “end of the story.” Paul said, “Therefore, God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name...”

It’s the same with us. We will be exalted – not because of who we are, but because of whose we are. At Christmas, God said to us that this world isn’t all there is and that someday we will have the mother of all parties...a Christ-mas party that will last all year long.

So, Merry Christmas! Enjoy the tree, the parties, the fam-ily, the celebration and the gifts.

I know, I know. The really religious people will tell you that you’re supposed to be very serious at Christmas. They are wrong and, because they are wrong, they will never be able to be vulnerable and free enough to be a Christmas for anybody else. Enjoying Christmas and “being” Christ-mas are sort of like dancing. You can’t think about it. You just have to let go and do it.

Yeah, it’s really crazy to be defenseless in a dangerous world. You can get killed.

It’s really crazy to be a servant and to not care about pow-er. We really do have to look out for ourselves by lording it over one another.

Being Christmas to one another and to the world is really crazy...crazy like a fox.

Reprinted with permission. Scripture quotations are from the English Stander Version of the Bible.

Steve Brown

Is a radio broadcaster, seminary professor and author, for over 25 years and now de-votes much of his time to the Key Life radio broadcast and Key Life Magazine. He previ-ously served as a pastor for the … Steve is an original. He refuses to be a “guru,” doesn’t want to be anyone’s mother and gives, in his teaching, the freedom to think. Overall, Steve has become known for his refreshing and practical Biblical applications.

Steve serves as Professor of Preaching at Reformed Theological Seminary in Orlando, Florida. He sits on the board of the National Religious Broadcasters and Harvest USA. Traveling extensively, Steve is a much-in-demand speaker. He has authored numer-ous books including Born Free, When Being Good Isn’t Good Enough and When Your Rope Breaks. His articles appear in such maga-zines and journals as Leadership, Decision, Plain Truth and Today’s Christian Woman.

Living a conundrum? Trying to make two

wrongs a right? Threw the baby out with

the bath water? Read more Gabnif icent answers to every-

day enigmas in the Single! archives.

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dear gabby:

⎟dear gabby⎟

Christmastime is here again which m

eans I have to face

a gift-giving

dilemma. I have a friend who eve

ry year gives me a gif

t. She isn0t

my best friend, but someone I've bee

n friends with all through high

school. Now that w

e've graduated, I

've been trying to m

ake delicate

suggestions about stopping this tradition but she never s

eems to get

the hint. It's just that

there's so much spending and shopping this time

of year that I would like t

o reserve gift-givin

g for family. What should

I do?Grinchy in Gainsborough

.

15

“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly and who-ever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion,

for God loves a cheerful giver. ”

2 Corinthians 9: 6-7

- Gabby

Well Grinchy,

If you read that passage, you can probably sense where Gabby is headed. Now, if you really wanted, you could come out and say to your friend that times are tight, and that you are carefully watching every penny you spend this Christmas, and would she mind if you didn’t exchange gifts this year … and that would be okay.

But before you do that, Gabby would like you to take a quiet moment and consider why your girlfriend has deflected all your gentle efforts to stop this Christmas exchange heretofore. If money is genuinely tight, then consider giving your time and your heart. Maybe bake some Christmas cookies and tie them up with some pretty tissue paper or put them in a little basket. Paint a Christmas ornament just for her. Invite her out for a cup of coffee and some girl talk. None of this costs much money but it has the added payback of giving you some quality time with the Holy Spirit! Taking a moment to bake cookies or quietly paint an ornament with some music on could actually be a gift to your-self! Come on Grinchy, you know how busy and crazy we all get during the few short weeks of Advent! The peace and joy that we crave only come to us when we make some unguarded time to slow down and enjoy the moment. And anyway, Gabby suspects this friend

of yours needs this exchange. Perhaps what she re-ally wants is the connection, the affirmation of your friendship. So accommodating something so simple with a cheerful, loving heart is your real gift to her.

It reminds Gabby of Christmases past, when she was a child. Gabby had two widower Scottish uncles, named Bill and Bob, who lived together. Really. They liked cheap, sweet wine and couldn’t imagine a more perfect gift than that! So every Christmas, they would stop by and promise Gabby and her siblings a Shet-land pony for Christmas (we never got one) and hand Gabby’s parents the bottle of nasty. It never seemed to matter to them that Gabby’s parents didn’t drink. Now Gabby’s mother couldn’t stand these gifts and would mutter and mumble about the impending visit and threaten to tell them to keep the wine. But even as a child, Gabby could see the light and joy on those two faces as they came, stooped and lumbering, like dent-ed packages in their wrinkled flannel shirts, through our door and into our home. They joyfully presented their dusty bottle of cheer. My parents’ gift was to ac-cept their present, pull out a chair and offer them a cup of tea. It’s what they really wanted anyway. Try it yourself this Christmas season—Merry Christmas!

Every year some economics expert calculates the total cost of all the items mentioned in “The Twelve Days of Christmas” (You know, the partridge in a pear tree and such.) I haven’t seen the figure for 2010 yet, but last year it would have cost a whopping $87,403. But here’s what they aren’t figuring: How much will you end up spending in hidden costs, you know, the feed for all those birds and insurance premiums on five golden rings?

Maybe you’re wise and have set a gift spending limit, but have you budgeted for the hidden costs of the holiday? My “12 Hidden Costs of Christmas” are not necessarily things we need to avoid; but rather things we need to be aware of and be sure to plan into our budgets, so we don’t ring in the New Year up to our necks in Yuletide debt. Sing it with me now!

“On the 12th Day of Christmas, I stopped to count the costs…

$THE

12HIDDEN

COSTS OF CHRISTMAS

16

SPARE CHANGE

BY JULIE ANN

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12. Cards a GreetingGreeting cards are a staple of the season, however the price of a greeting card is almost all mark-up. Even if you aren’t sending cards in mass, just picking up a couple of cards to hold gift cards or cash will set you back. Consid-er forgoing cards, sending e-greetings or better yet, get crafty and make your own cards.

11. Strings a LightingEvery string of lights you tack up and every giant elec-tronic snow globe you set up in the yard is going to add to the electricity bill. Keep electronic décor minimal and your inner Clark Griswold in check.

10. Goodies BakingSweets abound during the Christmas season, and at some point, you may be called upon to bring the cupcakes. Be sure to add extra money into your grocery budget for baked goods and all the trimmings for the holiday meal. Look for coupons too (see “Hassle-free Coupons” in the Single! archives).

9. Songs for SingingTired of the same old Christ-mas music? Downloading new holiday tunes is just one of the hidden costs of holiday enter-tainment. With more days off and friends and family around, I tend to spend more on mov-ies, bowling and eating out. Other entertainment costs may include holiday concerts, new board games and movie rentals to keep everyone entertained while indoors.

8. Boxes ShippingIf you are buying gifts online or plan to ship dolls to your nieces in Wyoming, you’ll be shelling out a lot for ship-ping. First of all, think “light” in your gift choices, and then look for free shipping, and have the package delivered directly to the recipient. If you’re shipping something bought locally, get it off in time to use ground shipping services. Also consider the post office’s flat-rate priority boxes, which can be a great deal if the object you’re ship-ping is small but heavy, or going out of the country.

7. Socks for StuffingA few days ago a lady in line with me at a store mentioned that she wanted to buy some of the bookmarks on the counter as stocking stuffers for her grandkids. I don’t know if she noticed the price, but I did: they were $2.50 a piece. I don’t know how many grandkids she had, but that will certainly add up in a hurry. Watch the true cost of “little purchases” that you are making.

6. Santas DancingSure decorating is fun, but resist the im-pulse to buy the newest, cool thing. Ask yourself, “Do I really need that dancing Santa?” I didn’t think so. If you think it through and decide to buy, wait until the after Christmas sale and get it at 75% off for next year.

a

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SPARE CHANGE

5. Craft SuppliesEven making your own gifts and décor can get costly. If you practically live at the craft store during the holidays, be sure to plan your craft projects wisely. Don’t start anything that you can’t finish (like I always do!). Consider going in on supplies with fellow crafters.

4. Trips to the MallA couple extra trips to the mall here and driving to a few Christmas parties there can drain a couple of tanks of gas. Com-bine trips, planning your route logically to minimize time and gas expense. And make lists so you don’t forget anything.

3. New ShirtsIf you are invited to a lot of holiday get-togethers, you may be tempted to buy a new outfit and accessories for each party. If you must buy new threads, limit yourself to one or two new pieces and then mix and match items you already have in your closet. And don’t forget to shop at second-hand stores; there’s always a good stock of Christmassy clothing.

2. Special Gifts

Around the holidays people tend to feel more generous and nonprofits know this. From the Heifer gift catalog to the Salvation Army bell ringer, opportunities to give to charities abound. Definitely give all that you can, but be sure to track your giving. If you plan to claim the gifts as tax deductions, be sure to get a recipient.

1. And the Time to Get it All Done Between wrapping presents, standing in line, browsing for the perfect gift and the thousand other little things you have to do around the holidays, your time is sucked up pretty quickly. If time is money, then perhaps the best thing you can do this holiday season is to relax, avoid the stress and really ponder the true meaning of Christmas. After all, if Jesus didn’t need fancy electric lights, a grand Christmas dinner and hotel accommodations, why do we?

After all, if Jesus didn’t need fancy electric lights, a grand Christmas dinner and hotel accommodations, why do we?

E

Unconventionally conventional

wisdom.

On My Own Now: Straight talk from the

Proverbs for young Christian women who want to remain pure,

debt-free and regret-free.

Now available at www.onmyownnow.com,

at Amazon, B&N and a library near you.

18

FASHION DIVINA

This Little Piggy is Nice

and Cozy:

5 Substitutes for Boots

BY TAMARA JANE AND DONNA LEE SCHILLINGER

There are lots of fashion reasons to look forward to win-ter, chief among them is that it’s boot season! Just one problem: I don’t own a pair of boots. And for divas on a budget, boots can be a tough fit. There’s an element of necessity here, particularly for those of us who live in snowy climates, but if there’s just no eeking enough out of the budget to buy them – and you’re not getting any for Christmas – don’t despair. I’ve got five solutions to make your fairer-weather footwear in to winter wear without looking like you had no other option.

A LEGGINSEach year for the last few, leggings seem to be picking up pace in winter fashions. If you don’t have a pair yet, it’s time to invest. Laundered by hand, leggings will last sev-eral winters. Wear them with pants for extra insulation or with dresses, skirts or winter shorts.

New this year from leading legging manufacturer, Hue, is corduroy leggings; but I’m not even going to provide a link because they’re outrageously priced at $34 a pair. Just buy some pants, for Pete’s sake! However, I feel con-fident that lesser known legging companies will soon take the nod and start to produce budget corduroy leggings. So keep an eye out for these in your favorite bargain de-partment store. However, before you buy an inexpensive pair of corduroy or other leggings, give them a lint test. If they’re magnets for lint, they’re not worth the trouble.

A FUZZY SOCKSBecause who doesn’t love fuzzy socks? Not only are they cute and feel great, but they keep your feet warm. If you’re not a fuzzy sock enthusiast, it’s probably because you’re remembering that one year your grandmother gave them to you. Any geek factor they once had has been cancelled out by their irresistible coziness!

There is a wide range of quality and prices in fuzzy socks, and generally, you get what you pay for. Two dol-lars sounds like a great price, but don’t be surprised to find them disintegrating after a few washings. However, I would not recommend paying more than $4 a pair, which can get a good quality sock on sale at a reputable depart-ment store. And if I would not recommend paying more than $4 a pair, you can imagine how I feel about this lu-nacy: three socks that don’t match for $14. That “deal” comes from none other than LittleMissMatched.com, hy-perlink to which I’m including only because of how quirky it is.

Probably the best thing about fuzzy (toe) socks is that they can transform flip-flops into winter shoes – a great way to save money on winter shoes and make a unique

fashion statement. But, alas, there are some occasions, like work (yawn), where fuzzy socks might be frowned upon. And for those occasions, there’s…

A CASUAL FLATS WITH SOCKSIt’s easy to find cool dress socks at 50% off before the holidays, so if you don’t have a sock connection for Christmas, this is the time to stock up. If you can keep the washer from eating them, dress socks can last five or more years before they wear thin, so spring for the socks you really love. Dress socks with your fall flats go well with long jeans, a nice shirt, scarf and jacket.

A FORMAL FLATS WITH DOUBLE DUTY STOCKINGSJob interview, formal meal, party or special church ser-vice? Girl, it’s cold out and you do not want to go au na-turel on the legs. Besides being uncomfortable, there is something just plain tacky about bare legs for winter formal, which is why every young woman (who ever has a formal winter occasion) needs to own some hosiery. If you like leggings, you can tolerate pantyhose, but if you get claustrophobic just thinking about that extra layer around your waist, go with thigh highs. Wash them by hand to keep the gummy grips from wearing out (because hose that slip down your thighs are an unusual kind of tor-ture). Hosiery gives winter legs a polished look and helps to keep them warm, but they don’t do much for keeping feet warm. So double up with a pair of low-cut, no-show socks. Inexpensive varieties are available in your local WalMart.

A HOUSE SHOESMy house has all tile floors – a real challenge to keep feet warm in winter. So on my stay-at-home-days in winter, it’s all house shoes, all day. This is one pair of winter shoes you can probably afford. Not only are they an easy item to find in thrift stores (I’ve even found them never used in second-hand stores), they are relatively inexpen-sive in bargain stores like Family Dollar, Dollar General , Freds and others. Who cares what they look like, you’re at home! Your housemates have seen you on your nasti-est days, adding house shoes surely won’t shock them. Besides, this is a matter of priorities and staying warm trumps looking good, even for a fashion diva.

Better to keep the tootsies warm now, than to catch a cold later and have to blow your nose in public for two weeks! So be sensible with warm socks and shoes that don’t re-quire a line-item in the budget.

19

uJ U S TWHAT

you

N E E D

20

A RIGHTEOUS*HOLIDAY GIFT

by Donna Lee Schillinger

In my money blog, Throw Away Your 401K, I have started to examine the question, “How can I help poor people?” Since “tis the season,” let me just cut to the chase and offer a sug-gestion that I believe might actually be directly helpful to poor people and, conveniently, can also be achieved with a few clicks of the mouse and make for an excellent Christmas gift!

For the same amount you might spend on buying your moth-er a new sweater or piece of jewelry, how about giving a gift in her honor that would make a positive impact in the lives of people struggling in poverty. Sounds easy enough, but the problem for me is how to ensure that my gift is actually going to make the impact I’m being led to believe it is. For instance, I sponsor a child, David, through World Help, but I am not at all convinced that my $26-a-month contribution is actu-ally making an impact in the life of the young man whose picture I have taped in my prayer journal. Supposedly, my gift is enabling David to go to school. But what do you think would happen if I decided not to sponsor him anymore? Would he be called to the office one day during math class and informed by the principal that, regrettably, his sponsor withdrew and he has 10 minutes to clean out his locker and leave the premises? I highly doubt it.

I believe, instead, my $26 is aggregated with other funds to sponsor free education for all the children in that area, one of whom is David. Further, I feel sure that not all of my $26 is reaching that school. Even though, according to their annual report, less than 10 percent of funds collected are used on administration and fundraising, that other 90 percent like-ly goes to pay for staff, facilities and operating costs in the countries where World Help has program offices. Yes, those are legitimate program expenses that boost local economies, but if I want my $26 to go directly to David? Not happening.

Call me jaded, but I like giving models that are a bit more transparent (though I continue to fund David out of fear that he’ll be expelled from school if I stop). I’ve spent a consider-able amount of time in the last couple of days researching organizations I thought had such models, only to find that they simply have more crafty ways of doing the same thing World Help does: taking my gift that I believe is doing one thing and doing something else with it. Even if that some-thing else is all-together good, as a funder, I like to know, really know, what my money is going for. Which is why I am excited to tell you about microlending. There are several no-table organizations that do this, and I encourage you to re-search it further, or just click through to Kiva.

Kiva’s mission is to connect people, through lending, for the sake of alleviating poverty. With Kiva, you can actually give a gift that keeps on giving. Rhetoric aside – you can spend $50 on a “gift” through Kiva, and use that same $50 to give an-other gift next year. So this year, give a $50 microloan in hon-or of Mom to a 27-year-old woman in Tanzania who wants to open a café. When she pays you back, you can use that same $50 to give a microloan in honor of Granddad to a bar-ber in Mali who wants to purchase 5 new clippers, 6 pairs of combs and brushes, 5 containers of bleach, 5 bottles of 90% alcohol, 10 bottles of hair ointment, etc. Truth! These are ac-tual microloan requests from Kiva. Best of all, there’s a field partner on the ground who is making sure the money is used correctly and reporting back on the impact the loan made. As for the administrative costs so many other non-profits try to act like don’t exist? Kiva suggests a 15% processing fee on each loan, which covers their overhead, but each and every one of your $50 is going to that barber in Mali. If you don’t want to pay the processing fee, edit the amount to $0! Right now the Omidyar Network is giving a matching grant to Kiva for each processing fee. So if you’re feeling generous, go with the suggested 15% or even higher, and your contribution to-ward operations will be doubled.

I hope I’ve said enough to drive you to click through to Kiva and learn more about what they do. It’s no secret – the or-ganization issued more than $66 million in microloans last year. That’s a lot of $25 and $50 donors! So why haven’t I heard of this before? Probably because I haven’t been look-ing for ways to help the world’s poor. I’ve been too busy ask-ing, “What will I eat?” or “What will I drink?”or “What will I wear?” this holiday season (Matthew 6:31).

Kiva offers “gift-giving” possibilities for any budget. There’s also the option of giving $25 loan gift cards, so your friend or family member can get the thrill of choosing the borrower. So, stay in your jammies, take the laptop to the sofa with a cup of hot chocolate and finish your holiday “shopping” with gifts that will not only warm the heart of the receiver and the giver, but will also honor God (Prov. 14:31).

P.S. Stay tuned for more insights on how to actually help poor people by subscribing to my money blog.

* Not in the sense of being “holier than thou,” but as a double entendre meaning “cool,” “awesome” and “amazing,” as well as “ethical,” “scriptural” and “virtuous.”