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Page 2

Pattaya Hash House Harriers – Run #1562 – February 10th 2014

Future Hares, call Hare Raiser Horse, 0879068280 

Run# Date Hares  On On1563* Feb 17 Peler & Sir Arse-A-Holic Secrets 1564* Feb 24 Hulk, M & M Disorders & Suzy Wong M Club 1565* Mar 03 Wank-King’s Wanker Nicky’s Bar 1565* Mar 10 Hares Needed

If you want to be a hare but not sure how, contact Hare Raiser and we can help you partner with an experienced hare. Enjoy a great part of hashing – Hare a run! * Map needed

Pattaya Hash House Harriers – About Us --- NEW PICKUP POINT -–

Buffalo Bar – Pattaya 3rd Road near Soi Lengke Every Monday at 3:15.

The Bus eaves at 3:30 promptly. Run Prices: Male 350B, Female 150B, Children 50B Please visit our web site www.pattayah3.com

67 Hashers who were Hashing the previous week

2 Uli von Berlin, 12 Benjamin Carpenter, 3 Cape Hirving, 5 Annica Larsson, 6 Jim Reamer, 86 ANAL CHEESE, 448 BALL RINGER, 274 BELL END, 16 BELL STAR, 121 BENGT POTATO, 119 BLACK HOLE, 61 BLUE NOSE, 275 CABBAGE QUEEN, 48 CAMEL HUMPER, 33 CHEAPER THAN MEME, 220 CRACK MY COCCYX, 109 CRAZY PUSSY, 46 DESERT SCORPION, 204 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES, 314 EXTRA TESTICLE, 102 FUZZY LURE, 484 G.I. JOE, 142 GANGREEN, 631 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER, 85 HELIUM HEAD, 142 HORSE, 4 I’M A FUCKING CUPCAKE, 19 JINGLE BALLS, 179 KEE MAH, 503 LADY BOW WOW, 538 LADY FLIPPER, 4 LEFT BEHIND, 182 LIBERACE, 53 LITTLE WHITE DOVE, 111 MARATHON MAN, 71 MENTAL DISORDER, 591 MRS. HEAD, 45 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER, 60 PAPRIKA SMILEY, 268 PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER, 58 POCAHONTAS, 167 REDCOAT, 155 ROBBING BASTARD, 67 RUNNING BARE, 174 SCAR WITH TWO T’S, 35 SEXY BUM, 561 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC, 546 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT, 655 SIR DOG, 558 SIR FREE WILLY, 566 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD, 731 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD, 35 SIR WANDA, 203 SKIING FINN, 88 SLIPPERY ARSE, 413 SNOOPY, 85 SPECIAL PRICE, 307 SQUEEZE MY TUBE, 128 STEPTOE, 268 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS, 268 SWEETIE, 98 TINY ANAL TORPEDO, 281 TREE FROG, 128 TWO TIME, 304 VELCRO DICK, 666 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR, 165 WANK-KING’S WANKER

11 Returners 1250 EMPEROR AIRHEAD, 68 INVISIBLE MAN, 287 KARAMBA, 41 LADY GAGA, 1064 LORD CHICKEN FUCKER, 59 MENSTRUAL DISORDER, 77 MUD CRACKER, 73 RABBIT SHOOTER, 121 RATSO-EEL-SNIFFER, 73 SMELLY BASTARD, 185 TOM BOY 3 Visitors with their Total Runs 4 CANNON BALL, Bangkok Hash, Thailand 6 POLE FUCKER, Harare, Zimbabwe 23 MUD’S CRACKER, Pattaya Bush Hash, Thailand 1 Virgin Warunee Donnamkhaw 1 Leaver LIBERACE 3 Anniversaries EMPEROR AIRHEAD was celebrated for completing his 1250th Run SKIING FINN received his 200th Run T-Shirt LITTLE WHITE DOVE received her 50th Run Mug

LITTLE WHITE DOVE received her beautiful 50 run pewter mug, SKIING FINN received his 200 run t-shirt .

SCAR WITH TWO T’S he bought all the Harriet’s into the circle and presented them beautiful red roses and a lovely box of chocolates to each. Then MENTAL DISORDER and SIR WANDA where iced as MENTAL DISORDER was looking for bold guy with earrings and SCAR WITH TWO T’S thought it could have been SIR WANDA but MENTAL DISORDER advised him it was another ugly bastard he was looking for.

RED COAT came into the circle, iced the hares and

sung on their behalf the hare song, which is about 300 baht short-times. Very-very old songs as now the sort times are 500 baht

On-on Mental Disorder

Respecting the laws of Thailand

And the dignity of the people.

Keep it Green – Bring your TRASH back to A-site

Page 3

Pattaya Hash House Harriers – Run #1562 – February 10th 2014

Water is a colourless, tasteless, and odourless substance according to all the dictionaries and it get’s even worse when you do even more investigating. If water was that beneficial, then why do so many Englishmen avoid it all the time and they have been around for a long, long time…..too long according to many of my European friends.

As most of us have no idea about what the heck’s going on without some kind of guidance, our two great hares “VV” AKA “VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR” and the “don’t leave your girlfriend alone with me” munchkin known as “SIR CHICKEN F*CKER” started to tell all of us about todays run. Fortunateley/Unfortunateley it was left to VV to describe the ‘back checks’, ‘false trails’, and whatever the heck happens on what you Hash People call a ‘hash run’. Unless you have been watching a lot of “Inspector Clouseau” films or VV comes with ‘subtitles’ you were pretty much left up to your own devices….The suddenly mute “except for talking to any pretty lady nearby” SIR CHICKEN F*CKER offered negligible assistance except to say the run started somewhere over there……..and you know, he was right!!!!!!!

And so they were off!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nonetheless, here they go again on another adventure. Their packs are full, their hearts are light and they’ll soon be in the short-cutting swamp. Every previous shortcut takes you further and further away from the Beer Truck….so what is the point???? As most of you know, I prefer to do the weekly hash house run “assal horizontally”, doctor approved method which includes basically sitting on my ass and watching the pounds/kilos disappear from my waistline.So far, So good……But being todays scribe didn’t come without it’s benefits. First off was a visit from the funny (not in a ha-ha kind of way) but in a funny ( “wow, is this guy really wierd!!!) who goes by the name of PUSSY WHIPPED. I know most people try to avoid him but as your Hash Scribe, I was obliged to talk to anyone and everyone and I think he belonged in one of that group. The thrust of his conversation was the offering of 100 baht to mention his new website on my sacred scribe report. He knew I was a whore but sadly I finally found out how much I was really worth……and it’s really now up to the “SEXY BUM” person to find out what his conversation “thrust” is really all about. The other ‘violation’ that I felt was when “SEAL SUCKER‘ wanted to make sure I noted that he was the first KIWI to the buffet. If anyone mentions “SEAL SUCKER” in any kind of sentence….nuff said!!!

Well you might think that: Taumata-whakatangihanga-koauau-o-tamatea-turi-pukakapiki-maunga-hor-maunga-horo-nuka-

pokai-whenua-kitanatahu is a famous hill or the abbreviated form of the world’s longest village name in New Zealand, but sadly it was the sound almost all of the runners made when they returned to the A-Site what with all the ‘huffing & puffing that was going on. It wasn’t a hard run by all accounts, but I really do believe that this running thing can’t really be that good for your health and also cuts down on your drinking time!!! Geez….maybe I had it right all this time!!!! Almost everyone that I talked to said it was a very good run, and then told me to get the heck out of the way as SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT was offering up some terrific tasting German beer and they wanted to get some (a lot) before both kegs were polished off.

It was round this time that SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD wanted to tell me on the “just between you and me” that I should keep my eyes open for two really stupid guys who were on the Hash tonight…..as we all would query if presented with that kind of statement….“You and who else?” But I must admit that I haven’t seen SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD so relaxed since he last served as “Watch Commander” at Pearl Harbor way back in his early years of military service.

Wasn’t that great food tonight people!!!!! A very big thank you to people from Jameson’s and all the other people from the Hash House Harriers who made it possible. I’m better at giving insults than kind words but on behalf of all the people who had a terrific time today, thanks to all the dedicated Hashers who made it all possible!!!!!!……of course you had 30 years to get it right!!!!!

6.55pm was when the circle started with the ‘World’s Greatest Brewmaster’ and lottery guy doing whatever he does. Several people won prizes but your humble scribe won something too that my girlfriend promptly thanked me for and is probably on it’s way to her village as we speak……but I did get to hold it for a few seconds. This week offered lots of great prizes and more important lots of greater laughs thanks to SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT who seems to suffer from a bad case of “Witzelsucht” which is a very rare disease that causes the victim to make bad puns and jokes. It’s from the German “Witzein” meaning “joke” and “sucht” meaning yearning or at least that’s what the official Hash Scribe Dictionary says.

In honour of our illustrious ‘World’s Greatest Brewmaster’, a couple of quotes about drinking and they are all so true and we may even know who they may even apply to!!!!!!.

“Maybe  some  folks  are  alcoholics  and  others  are  just 

voluntary  drunks.  Maybe  some  folks  drink  due  to  body 

chemistry  and  others  due  to  their  lazy  characters.  Maybe 

some  have  drinking  problems,  while  others  have  problems enough to drink.” 

- George Jones, I Lived to Tell It All