required retake instructions - f01. · pdf file6/21/2015 · required retake...

1 David Dawidowicz Student ID: 21993147 Exam #: 50044400 2119 Barley Drive Quakertown, PA 18951 [email protected]

REQUIRED RETAKE INSTRUCTIONS

ENG300: 500682 “Using Comparison and Contrast”

Student name: David Dawidowicz Student number: 21993147

Grade: 52 Date: 6/4/2015 Evaluator: RJL

Dear David,

Unfortunately, you earned a failing grade on this first-attempt submission. According to

the Academic Policies in the Penn Foster Student Handbook, you must prepare a retake

submission. Since the goal of this course is to help you improve your writing, you will

continue working with your current submission, completely revising and editing it at all

levels. Merely applying the instructor’s corrections in grammar, spelling, or format will

not show sufficient evidence that you have improved your skill level and therefore will

not result in a change to your grade.

Review the following information as well as the assignment instructions. In addition,

access the Student Library from your student portal, click Subject Guides, go to

Humanities, and click Advanced Composition to access links providing further

instruction in literary terms, literary analysis, and thesis development. Following are key

revisions you must make to ensure a passing grade on your retake. If you do not

understand how to rewrite your paper in order to accomplish these goals, please

contact the school.

Purpose: Inform your fellow Penn Foster College students about similarities and differences in the author's and director's use of plot or character devices, as well as persuade them that either the book or the movie did a better job in applying those literary techniques.


Strong thesis: State a specific thesis with either plot or character development as your focus (basis of comparison), the main point you'll make about that literary technique, and your preference for either book or movie related to that literary analysis.

Effective introduction: Write an interesting opening that engages your fellow students, establishes the author and title of the book as well as the director, and includes your thesis.

Well-developed analysis: Use point-by-point method. Analyze specific points of comparison for plot or character. Incorporate source material to support your analysis. Use specific examples from both the book and movie (with proper citation) to support your statements. Use appropriate transitions to guide your reader.

Satisfying conclusion: Provide a satisfying conclusion to close your discussion, reinforcing

your thesis, and leaving your fellow students with a final thought about your analysis/preference of book and movie.

Sources: Choose critical reviews from reliable sources. Note the six required sources – the book, the film, three critical reviews, and an interview/survey that you conduct with another person who has read the book and viewed the film.

Editing and proofreading

Include this set of instructions with your retake submission, or there may be a problem

completing your evaluation. For electronic submissions, copy and paste just the first

four lines of text (from "Required Retake" through the evaluator's initials) at the

beginning of your retake document. As part of your file name, include “Retake” after

your last name. Then submit your retake essay for grading.

Best wishes on your retake,

Education Department

Penn Foster College

Less Than Great Expectations Comment [WU1]: I like your title.


Charles Dickens was one of those literary authors that demanded the respect of

his readers. The richness of his works captured the reader’s minds and took them into the

lives of his characters. The book Great Expectations is a shining light that represents the

enduring human spirit, while the 2012 movie “Great Expectations” written by David

Nicholls and produced by Mike Newell simply pulled the human spirit into the abyss.

Evolution is painful because it represents a form of change. Radio gave way to black and

white silent films, and those films gave way to color with sound. Sometimes moving the

richness of a book character onto the movie screen can cause anemia, pain, and un-

fulfillment.

The man Charles Dickens was quite opinionated. England was his world and he

did not like it, so that same dislike came to life in his writings (EServer 1). It could be

said that his way of creating novels especially Great Expectations was a way to ever so

gently interject philosophical thoughts into his readers. Another way to look at the work

was that it provided a guideline to help people live accordingly in the harsh Victorian

world (EServer 1). There are several characters within this story; however, the weightiest

are Abel Magwitch, Ms. Havisham, and Pip who grab the readers’ attention most.

Pip is a young orphan who desired to become better both in society and also

morally. The readers are introduced to this young boy who has a passionate and romantic

air about him. Also, as most children do he has the desire of a better life that seems out

of reach. The key to Pip’s choices within the story is his fortified conscience. The

concepts of right and wrong, good and evil are also present with him and he desires the

Comment [WU2]: Film titles should also be italicized.

Comment [WU3]: Sound came before color.

Comment [WU4]: Do you mean low iron?


light rather than the darkness. Pip appears to be the catalyst of transformation for several

characters in Great Expectations.

First, Magwitch the convict becomes Magwitch the wealthy benefactor after

encountering Pip's kindness. Second, Ms. Havisham's encounter with Pip was not about

kindness but more about forgiveness. Pip through his pain, caused by Ms. Havisham,

was able to open her eyes so she could see that her quest for vengeance must end. It was

time to let go, be forgiven and let some light into her life. The intricate and uniqueness of

Pip's character comes from the two way viewpoint: narrator and character.

The readers are given the impression of maturity that has been crafted by many

years of experiences and many encounters with different people in their stages of life. On

the other hand there is also the experience the readers get from walking through the story

with Pip the character. The skillfully created duet by Charles Dickens allows the readers

to know Pip the man and Pip the boy at the same time. The deeper the detail of the

character's life and experiences the deeper the connection the readers have with the

character.

Idealism is something that can either be a desirable trait or a trait that is despised.

On the one hand Pip's desires for morality and betterment can spur the readers on to make

their worlds better by changing or aspiring to change. At the same time cynical readers

may get the impression that Pip simply desires too much and that his goals will never be

attained. They may find it hard to connect with his desires and therefore to truly

understand him. The character of Pip provides a real portrayal of someone with a

"perfectionist" mindset.


Instead of taking the good deeds and the bad deeds in equal measure, Pip tended

to be harder on himself for the bad deeds and often shunning his good deeds. He is

generous with a heart that desires the best for others even when they have been their

worst to him. Through his hardships Pip continues to exuded kindness and love which

something that the readers can learn from if they possess an open mind and heart.

Pip or (Philip Pirrip) is described as being the voice of morality in the midst of an

immoral generation (EServer 1). Because this particular title was placed on this character

it stands to reason that the world in which he lived was quite immoral. Pip was meant to

shed light on the darkness and show those in it the error of their ways. It is interesting to

note that even though Pip is the one that brings the light so to speak, he finds himself

separated from society because of his status. Later in the story the readers find that he is

not the only person who has become separated from society.

Because of the struggle between the haves (the moral minority) and the have nots

(the immoral elite) there is a touch of comedy and tragedy to the story. It is a well-

known fact that society has levels. Typically there are three: rich, middle class and the

poor. When it comes to the Charles Dickens description of Victorian society the levels

are more complex. At first glance Able Magwitch is a fearsome criminal force that

descends upon Pip from the darkness (EServer 1). His position in life is clear, poor,

devious, and forever shunned by society.

First impressions can be deceiving because Magwitch turns out to be a

multifaceted character. Before meeting Pip, he was a walking terror with only unlawful

thoughts that drove his actions. After meeting Pip and encountering a kindness that has Comment [WU5]: Verb tense. HAD


been denied him his entire life there was a change. Magwitch became a power force for

the good in the life of Pip. He devoted the rest of this life to becoming wealthy and

supporting Pip's life from the shadows (EServer 1).

This support came in the form of raising Pip's social status and providing a good

education (EServer 1). This was all done from behind another shady man named Jaggers

who was actually a lawyer who worked with criminals and individuals from the

unfavorable side of society (EServer 1). The raw will and determination for evil was

reshaped by the kindness of one boy and caused Magwitch to be elevated as he elevated

someone else. He was able to move to a new stage in life as a silent moral aristocrat.

The readers are then taken to the world of the aristocracy where Pip meets up with

Miss Havisham. The rich and wealthy were considered on a different plane of existence

because of the way they lived and moved around in society. Ms. Havisham was

presented as a quite unique and strange individual among them. Upon Pip’s first meeting

with Ms. Havisham it was not one of dread as might be thought by the readers but rather

Pip considered her a lady of high quality (EServer 1).

She lived in a mansion called Satis and exhibited periods of being manic (EServer

1). The strangeness did not stop there. She flittered about in her wedding dress a now

faded and tatter reminder of her former youth and dreams of love and marriage. She also

kept a rotting dinner on table and clocks that were stopped at the exact time when her

wedding will never occur (EServer 1). Ms. Havisham betrayed by her finance which

caused a hatred for men and uses Estella to get revenge on the world of men (EServer 1).

Comment [WU6]: This needs to be reworked.

Formatted: Strikethrough

Comment [WU7]: Spelling.


Her world seems to be a living contradiction. Ms. Havisham is wealthy, but at the

same time poor in spirit, mind, and ravished in her emotions. In a bizarre attempt to stop

time and never recover from the heartbreak, she left her home as it was on her wedding

day, down to the one shoe that she was wearing when found out her finance was gone

(EServer 1).

Her blind rage causes problems for Pip and also for Estella but alas Ms. Havisham

cannot see that. The tragedy that would have been the rest of her life was redeemed when

she realized she had contributed to the breaking of Pip's heart the way her heart had been

(EServer 1). Forgiveness for her actions was then sought and she became as Pip thought

of her originally, a lady of high quality.

As disturbing as this may sound the composition of this classical novel would

lead a reader to feel he or she was reading some type of tragic comedy. The intermixing

of comedy based on the reason for Ms. Havisham’s state and the tragedy that surrounds

the working and lower class is a masterpiece. The only stable figure the readers can cling

to is Pip. He may travel through all these classes but never loses sight of who he really is

and what his purpose is. He proved to be flexible and resilient at the same time in many

different situations. These compelling descriptions of the written account of Great

Expectations and its characters will now be compared to a movie version.

The story of Pip and the Victorian madness has been adapted more than once;

however the 2012 film version was one of the worst. The classic novel Great

Comment [WU8]: Spelling.

Comment [WU9]: This is an excellent paragraph.


Expectations by Charles Dickens unleashed a terrifyingly gritty man (Able Magwitch)

which was also present in the 1946 version of the movie. The 2012 presentation of

Magwitch was a greasy man that looked tired from working all day (Boone 2013).

Magwitch for the readers was translated from being fearsome to annoying on the big

screen. That portrayal and acting were so disdainful in fact that the audience could not

help but wonder when the puppet strings would appear (Boone 2013).

Moving on from the disappointing representation of Magwitch by Ralph Fiennes,

the next mismatch was Helena Bonham Carter as Miss Havisham. It is one thing to be

crazy and give that air to people who come near it is another to try really hard to look

crazy which is what happened here (Boone 2013). The viewers would not know to laugh

or feel sorry for the old hag. Viewers would be happy to know that Jeremy Irvine

portrayed Pip in the best possible way. The pace of the film was like one in rush hour not

giving the viewer’s much time to become acquainted with the characters (Boone 2013).

It was as if the viewers were experiencing Cliff Notes version of the story and not the

full experience which would have been better. The qualifications in order to critique a

book or a movie are quite simple. The greatest quality is honesty. Think about the things

that matter most when telling a story: the theme, plot, the characters, and the message the

creator wanted to convey (Tidewater Community College 2015).

The connection between books and movies can either be magic or misfortune. In the

case of Charles Dickens Great Expectations and the 2012 movie, adaptation was a

disaster. The solid and compelling characters such as Magwitch and Ms. Havisham

Comment [WU10]: This is a good point.

Comment [WU11]: This is very interesting that you bring this up.


became watered down copies without any real effect. It is important to stay as true to the

story as possible while also picking the best possible actors to fit the characters.

Comment [WU12]: This is your only complaint or point you bring up against the entire film adaptation. This is not enough.

Comment [WU13]: You spend 5.5 pages summarizing key points of the book. You give less than a page of text to the analysis or comparison and contrast of the film to the movie. This is not sufficient.


Works Cited Page

Boone, Steven. Great Expectations. (2013). Web. 20 February 2015.

EServer. Great Expectations Reviewed. 2015. Web. 20 February 2015.

Tidewater Community College. Book or Article Review or Critique Guidelines. (2015).

Web. 20 February 2015.

Comment [WU14]: This is not all of your sources. You have three additional sources in your Annotated Works Cited page that do not appear here. You need to make sure you have everything here as well.


I. THESIS - The book Great Expectations by Charles Dickens is a shining light

that represents the enduring human spirit, while the 2012 movie "Great

Expectations" written by David Nicholls and produced by Mike Newell

simply pulled the human spirit into the abyss.

II. BODY – Comparing and contrasting Great Expectations' book characters and

movie characters.

A. Great Expectations book characters.

1. Classical review of Magwitch, Ms. Havisham and Pip.

2. Negative portrayal of women characters.

B. Great Expectations 2012 movie characters.

1. Painful reality of bad acting.

2. Lost enjoyment due to bad character development.

C. Critiquing Methods.

1. The art of critiquing books includes the examination of character

development. The audience can clearly identify what defines the

character in the story by the author's description, the environment the

character came from and the thoughts of the character revealed within

the book.

2. The art of critiquing movies is more about connection with the

characters which stems from the depth of their development. The

audience connects more easily and deeply with movie characters who

Comment [WU15]: This outline doesn’t belong in this assignment. This would be better suited towards the prewrite. This has no place here.


have a deep developed story, while they simply brush off those with a

shallow underdeveloped presence.

III. CONCLUSION

A. The greatest of books can be marred by the mistranslation from print into

motion on the screen.

B. It is important to stay as true to the story as possible while also picking the

best possible actors to fit the characters.


Annotated Bibliography

Basch, Francoise. Charles Dickens’s Anti-Women. New York: Schocken, 1974. Print.

There is a hypothesis related to this concerning Dickens understanding of women.

Because one of the main characters Ms. Havisham is bitter and alone, it is surmised that

Dickens did not understand the plight of single women of that time period. It may be

implied that a better understanding would have made for different characters but would

the story have been as compelling.

Boone, Steven. Great Expectations. (2013). Web. 20 February 2015. This critique of the

movie version based on the book is a fun ride with painful realities. The gritty characters

that caught the attention of the readers were lost once the hit the screen in this adaptation.

The writer is using every possible moment to warn the future viewers away from this

travesty.

Congleton, Philip C. Critics Corner. (n.d.). Web. 20 February 2015. This article provides

step by step instructions to provide the best possible critique for movies. The important

factors include the type of movie made and the time in which the movie was made. The

scoring system can be created by the critic using either letters or numbers.

EServer. Great Expectations Reviewed. 2015. Web. 20 February 2015. The classical

novel Great Expectations is a look into the determination of a young boy and the

determination of an older woman concerning different aspects of their lives. The story

itself reveals the determination of an older woman to hang on to the past, while the young

boy is determined to grab hold of the future. Charles Dickens did a fantastic job painting

a picture of the enduring human spirit and the challenges it fights to overcome.

Guardian News and Media Limited. Great Expectations - review. (2015). Web. 20

February 2015. This article warns readers before the opening paragraph that the life in

which Charles Dickens breathed into is novel was sucked out by this modern adaptation.

Apparently, the characters were flat and forgettable in their performance. It also appears

that going through the motions of good storytelling without quality acting plus materials

equals an unfinished product.

Tidewater Community College. Book or Article Review or Critique Guidelines. (2015).

Web. 20 February 2015. This article provides detailed instructions concerning the

techniques to use when critiquing a book. Knowing the author’s theme before starting

the critique is very important. It is also wise to mention that discussing the relationship

between the author’s life and the work can help better understand the work

Comment [WU16]: Why is your spacing different?


ENG300: ADVANCED COMPOSITION

Comparison and Contrast: Novel and Film

Novel/Movie: Skill

Realized

Skill

Developing

Skill

Emerging

Not

Shown

Thesis: Audience, Purpose, and Topic

How well does the thesis establish a clearly defined,

analytical focus unique to the assigned topic, purpose, and

audience?

10 9 8 7.5 7 4 0

Development

How effectively does the writer present evidence that

illustrates the similarities and differences between the

book and the movie?

Did the writer draw conclusions about the significance of

the changes were made in the adaptation of the book to

the movie?

30 25 20 19 17 10 0

Incorporation of Source Material

How logically and effectively are paraphrases, summaries,

and direct quotations from varied, relevant, and reliable

sources integrated with the writer’s style for purpose and

audience?

10 9 8 7.5 7 4 0

How well did the writer incorporate elements from the

primary sources (the book and the movie) into the essay? 5 4.5 4 3 1 0

Organization

How gracefully does the writer incorporate transitional

words and connective phrasing with appropriate

paragraphing to guide the reader through the presentation?

10 9 8 7.5 7 3 0

Style and Voice

How energetically and consistently does the writer

interact with both the topic and audience while using

varied, concrete, active diction? To what extent does the

writer achieve a natural, pleasant rhythm, particularly

through sentence fluency?

10 9 8 7.5 7 3 0

MLA Citation

Did the writer accurately and correctly document at least

6 sources sources using MLA citation style, both in-text

and on the list of Works Cited?

10 9 8 7.5 7 3 0


Conventions

At what level does the writer demonstrate correct and

effective standard written American English?

10 9 8 7.5 7 3 0

Format and Length

Did the paper meet the required length (1,800-2,000

words) and formatting requirements?

5 4.5 4 3 1 0

Exam grade: 52

Date of evaluation: 6/4/2015

Evaluated by: rjl

required retake instructions - f01. · pdf file6/21/2015 · required retake...

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