relationship building nta august 2, 2012
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Relationship Building NTA August 2, 2012. Build and Nurture Relationships: Rationale. Relationship Rationale:. Harvard’s Jacqueline Zeller (2008) found that positive relationships between students and teachers increased learning and decreased the need for behavior management . - PowerPoint PPT PresentationTRANSCRIPT
Relationship BuildingNTA August 2, 2012
Build and Nurture Relationships:Rationale
Relationship Rationale:• Harvard’s Jacqueline Zeller (2008) found that
positive relationships between students and teachers increased learning and decreased the need for behavior management.• Pianta (1999) found that positive relationships
between students and teachers (defined as those which had minimal conflict, high support, and low dependency) increased social skills, academic performance, academic resilience, and adjustment to school
Relationship Rationale:Klemm and Connell (2004)found that positiverelationships between teachers & students:
1. Decreased school avoidance2. Increased self-direction3. Increased cooperation4. Increased engagement5. Increased motivation
Relationship Rationale:• Baker (2006) found that teacher-student
relationships are important to virtually all students. However, high quality teacher-student relationships appear to be most significant for children who are “at risk” for school failure.• Phelon (1992) found that it is not uncommon
for students failing most courses to earn As and Bs in courses for which they have a positive relationship with the teacher.
Relationship Research:• For every negative classroom interaction,
you should have 3-5 positive ones to maintain a positive climate and prevent misbehavior (Sprick, 1998).• Barriers and Builders from Relationship-
Driven Classroom Management (Vitto, 2003)*assuming vs. checking
*rescuing/explaining vs. exploring*directing vs. inviting *expecting vs. celebrating*adultisms vs. respecting
Relationship Rationale:• Testerman (1996) did a survey of drop-outs and found that
they rated ‘teacher interest in his/her students’ as poor – fair at an average rate of 55%!!!
Intermittent ‘Close’Partner #1: Explain THREE SOLID REASONS WHY should teachers care about building positive, productive relationships with their students as part of their craft?Partner #2: Give TWO TANGIBLE METHODS to build relationships with students.
Build and Nurture Relationships
Methods
The Relationship Business:Pat Quinn
• Dial #3: 31.00 – 45:50• Identify the three
essential elements of this motivational dial.• Rate yourself for each
of the elements on a typical grading scale.
Safety in Your Classrooms:Pat Quinn
• Watch the 11 minute clip about Dial #2: Safety (45:50)• Identify the three
principles of Dial #2 as you watch.• Be prepared to discuss.
Intermittent ‘Close’Partner #1: Share TWO USEFUL IDEAS you are taking away from the PQ clips and explain how you will use them. Partner #2: Add ONE MORE USEFUL IDEA you are taking away from the PQ clips and explain how you will use them.
FISH for Educators!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Be there.• To just actively listen.• To listen and act/solve.• To uncover needs.
(snow day)• To offer support. (Mary)• To welcome. (dropout)• To be observant.• Greet them at the door.
FISH for Educators!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Play.
• Edutainment!• Multiple intelligences• Student choices• Learning games• Contests• Humor• Celebrations/awards• Songs/videos• Labs and projects
FISH for Educators!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Make Their Day.
• Think Love Languages!• Nice emails/letters• Show up at events• Gifts• Earned awards• Compliments• Whole class treats• Field trip• Special tutoring/help
FISH for Educators!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Choose Your
Attitude.• Physical facility• Positive trait challenge• Problems vs. opportunities• Model positivity• ‘Yes . . . AND’ (no ‘yeah . . . buts’)• MIH!!!!!!!!!!!!• Team strengths vs. weaknesses
Intermittent ‘Close’1) List the four key
elements of FISH!2) Briefly describe each
FISH! element3) Place a star next to
the element of FISH! you think is most important – and explain how you will focus on it Block 1.
True Colorswww.truecolorstest.com
True Colors: BLUE• Focus: people, relationships,
and fostering growth. Nurturers and connectors
• Friendly, helpful, empathetic• Optimistic• Fosters/maintains harmony
Communication tips:• Acknowledge/show
appreciation • Include them• Invite vs. order
True Colors: GOLD• Purposeful and plan ahead• Rules/procedures oriented• Detail oriented• Loyal, devoted, respectful
Communication tips:• Be prepared & give details• Stay on target• Show respect• Don’t interrupt• Recognize contributions
True Colors: GREEN• Logical, objective• Let by facts, data, and info• Big picture/conceptual• Questioning/critiquing• Can have wry sense of humor
Communication tips• Skip the ‘small talk’• Allow them time to think• Give big picture first, then fill
in necessary details• Don’t = ?s with interrogation
True Colors: ORANGE• Live in the ‘now’• Spontaneous, playful• Fast-paced, active, involved• Straightforward
Communication tips:• Use sound bites• Allow them to multi-task• Offer options/flexibility• Enjoy their energy/flair
Intermittent ‘Close’1) How could True
Colors be used to enhance instructor relationships?
2) How could True Colors be used to boost student EQ?
3) How could True Colors be used to meet ECAPs needs?
5 Love Languages
The way a person communicates regard
through speaking, acting, and listening
How Can You Identify Yours?
Ask yourself or others:• What types of things are on your ‘do now’ list?• What do others say or do that hurts you deeply?• What do you most often crave or request most from your
friends? Colleagues? Parents? Children? Spouse?• What do you most often complain about?• How do you demonstrate your own regard to others?Rank the five in prioritized orderFun fact and hint: seldom do a husband & wife speak the
same languageUnderstand that it is rare for a person to be truly ‘bilingual’
Examples from SVHS
Language #1: Words of Affirmation • Verbal compliments • Words of encouragement
or appreciation• Word spoken kindly• Sensitive to tone and
word choice• Requests vs. demands• Spoken or written to the
person, or about a person
Language #2: Quality Time• Giving someone your
undivided attention (togetherness vs. proximity)
• Quality conversation
• LISTENING to verbal and non-verbal language (not problem solving)
• Quality activities they enjoy
Language #3: Gifts• Visual symbols of love
and thought• May be purchased,
found, or made• $ is not the issue, rather
remembrance• May be a physical
presence, if there is a ‘cost’ to the giver
Language #4: Acts of Service
• Doing things for someone else you know they would like• These acts are designed to
make the recipient’s life easier• These things are not
‘demanded’ by the recipient• These gestures can be
small or large
Language #5: Physical Touch
• Physical distance is equated with emotional distance
• Not to be confused with sex drive-hand on shoulder-shaking hands-hugging-leaning-high five/fist pump
Test Your Knowledge:• A teacher (before this training) reproaches a high school
student for ‘being lazy’ who habitually asks others to bring class materials to her. The teacher never meant to stifle her need to feel regard through the language of:
• Acts of Service
Name the Love Language!• Help your child practice for
their sports team• Sit & help your child with
homework• Make a snack for a child
having a tough day• Carry your child to bed• Help select an outfit for
school• Wake up early to make your
child a special breakfast• Teach the importance of
volunteering and giving
• Set out a child’s favorite toys for playtime
• Help your child get ready when you’re running late
• If your child is sick, rent them a special movie, read a favorite book, or make a beloved comfort food
• Connect your child with an expert in a hobby, instrument, or sport in which they show interest
With your ‘precision partner’ list 10 ‘Acts of Service’ you
could perform for your students at SHS.
Test Your Knowledge:• Your oldest child doesn’t feel you like him. . . despite the fact that
you constantly tell him how wonderful he is. He complains to a grandparent that you are always answering phone calls when you go on outings together. He most likely speaks the language of:
• Quality Time
Name the Love Language!
• Include your child on daily errands or during routine chores
• Make eye contact when this child tells you something important
• Cook together• Crouch down to this child’s eye
level to communicate when they are small
• Give cameras to record important memories
• Dine together• Plant something together
• Create an event scrapbook or a memory collage as a gift for this child
• When multiple children are in this family, set aside one-on-one time with this child
• Ask specific questions about this child’s day
• Play with them!!• Create traditions• Take family vacations or
outings• Make bedtime a ritualized,
together activity
With your ‘precision partner, list 10 ways you
could provide ‘Quality Time’ to your students
Test Your Knowledge:• Many Leona school leaders use the ‘respond to all’ feature in
their email responses when they are commenting positively to a colleague’s announcement about a student or program success story.
• Words of Affirmation
Name the Love Language!• Put a post-it in this child’s
lunchbox with a loving or encouraging message
• Draft personalized, thoughtful cards to accompany gifts to this child
• Go out of your way to give verbal or written compliments . . . publicly or privately
• Leave short notes for your child if you have to go out of town for each night
• Use a loving nickname for your child
• Say ‘I love you’ as often as possible
• Display their artwork and schoolwork publicly
• When a child makes a mistake or fails, verbally recognize a positive aspect of their effort or intentions
• Create an ‘encouragement jar’ for this child
Test Your Knowledge:• Many Leona school leaders use the ‘respond to all’ feature in
their email responses when they are commenting positively to a colleague’s announcement about a student or program success story.
• Words of Affirmation
With your ‘precision partner’, list10 ways you could speak
‘Words of Affirmation’ to your students
Test Your Knowledge:
• Dr. Coats sent Lisa a artful arrangement of spring flowers this week to thank her for her hard work and leadership
• Gifts
Name the Love Language!*‘overboard’ distortions of this language can be damaging*• Keep a small collection of
inexpensive trinkets to give to a child when you sense a need
• Select very thoughtful presents for special occasions for this child
• Carry snacks or treats out and about that you can give to this child
• Start collecting special/fancy wrapping materials for presents
• When away from home, mail a special card or package to the child
• Serve after school snacks on a special plate
• Make up a special song just for your child
• Hide a small present or note in your child’s lunchbox
• Find personalized items with your child’s name on them to present to them on a rough day
With your ‘precision partner’, list 10 ways you could offer
‘Gifts’ to your students at SHS.
Test Your Knowledge:• You are uncomfortable on your first trip to Italy because
complete strangers, upon meeting you, kiss each of your cheeks after shaking your hand. Because this custom feels awkward to you, your languages is NOT:
• Physical Touch
Name the Love Language!• Give hugs, kisses pats on
the back, shoulder rubs, head taps
• Provide a soft item to the child to soothe them
• Stroke this child’s hair or rub their back while going to sleep
• Snuggle on the couch while watching TV
• Buy a ‘touch-lovely’ gift for this child, like a plush bear or a soft sweater
• Read stories with your child on your lap
• Do activities together that require clapping, touching, spinning, or jumping
• When this child is ill, spend extra time holding them and providing comfort
• Family group hug!• Give gentle zerberts• Hold hands during family
prayers
List 5 school appropriate ways you could address the needs of
‘Physical Touch’ students
A Moment for Reflection
Intermittent ‘Close’
Think-Pair-Share• Discuss WHAT love
language you think you speak, and tell WHY and be prepared to share with the whole group.
YOUR CHALLENGE:
Person(s): Strategy: Rationale:1st hour kids Greet all at door FISH! Be there LL Words of AffirmationNewbie Bring classroom tools FISH! Make Their Day LL Gifts
Draft a MIH Relationship Plan for this upcoming year that targets both students and colleagues for YOU
Name the relationship building tools we discussed today:
Consider drafting a ‘whole campus’ relationship plan?
Ticket OutComplete the NTA Ticket Out and give it to Natalie or Emily before you leave. You should provide feedback about:
1)What do you feel are your biggest STRENGTHS as you prepare to enter the classroom?
2)What would you identify as you biggest AREAS OF CONCERN as you prepare to enter the classroom?
3)What individual SUPPORT WOULD YOU LIKE from NTA as you enter your first month of instruction?