El Batidor Parents’ Weekend

Fall 2009

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Letter from the Editors

If you’re reading this then chances are you aren’t crying in a bathroom stall, alone, because your parents broke out the baby pictures or told embarrassing stories during class. By now you and your par-ents are similarly decked from head to toe in Cate Cargo. Make sure dad stays away from the sleeveless muscle sweater and just be thankful there are no Cate booty shorts for mom.

Movingontomealtimes:first,TimFoxmadeaMexicanlunchandaThanksgivingdinner.AndthenMr. Williams said, “Let there be brunch at Mesa House,” and then there was brunch. If you haven’t already stuffedyourself,youcanindulgeinSB’sfinestaccordingtoKateM.’sRestaurantReview;perhapsthey’repricey, but then again, that’s what parents are for!

ForCatestudents,5’sonAPsareagiven;justtakealookatMr.Collins’sArtQuiz.Andofcourseseniorsareassuredofcollegeacceptance,whichisevidentfromthefineexampleswehaveintheArtsSec-tion.Inconclusion,elbatidor.comhasfinallymadeitscomebackcompletewithstudentpolls,bussched-ules,menus,andotherusefulfeatures.Thereisalsoanonlineversionofeachissueforyou,mom,andpopto view in all its digital glory. But don’t you worry, this weekend of fright will end soon enough... just in time for Halloween!

BOO! Joe and Sarah

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PARENTS’ WEEKEND 2009

ContentsDo Parents’ Weekend Right 4Junior Retreat Letter from the PresidentWorld News: Asia 5Restaurant Reviews 6The Chushul Home

Healthcare Debate 7elbatidor.com Los Niños 8What It Means to ServeDay Students, Second Class? 9Seniority

Science & Nature 10

LifeStyle 12

Literature 14College Essays 16Story of My Life: College Essays 17Neologisms 19 Art Quiz 20Cate by the Numbers 22Rumor MillCrosswordHoroscopes 23

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FEATURES

Letter from the President A goal of mine as president this year is to breathe new life into the Cate School Student-Faculty Senate Constitution. If there are instances where debates decay into shouting matches, then I am going to put a stop to it; Senate shouldn’t be a free for all. Meetings in the past have consisted of irrelevant and verbose “chit chat.” I want to make the process efficient, quick, and to the point. I assume very few students have read the Constitution, however one of the available copies is sitting on my bookshelf (come by if you want a peek). For those who do not know, Senate is to be conducted like an official governmental meeting. Similar to what you would expect to find on C-span—except we’re not as boring. The cabinet’s main goal is to build unity within the student body. Senate may be built around the fourteen or so people making the decisions in the room but that doesn’t mean anyone should be barred from the process. I would like to host more than one Town Hall Meeting simply to have a “Q & A” with students. I don’t want any segregation be-tween the Senate and the student body. Mr. Beamer once told me that the student body is seen as the seed and Senate as the rain. One cannot work without the other. Senate cannot unleash its power unless asked upon, so come forth and make it rain! Last year there was talk about a Senate gift, but it fell through. The cabinet and I have been pondering the idea of a taxidermy ram head (taxidermy is the art of preserving dead animals). For example, one would expect a huge moose’s head above a fireplace in Werksman’s winter cabin (or Pat’s room in School House). This ram head could be hung in the JL or Mac room. However it would not be stationary; the ram head has the potential to be the blood within Blue Crew, giving spontaneous, inspirational, and uncontrollable war cries to the crowd as they holler into megaphones (soon to be bought) and vora-ciously stomp their feet like a stampede of angry rams on the horizon! This year Senate was given almost $10,000 for your use! Senate is given money in the hope that the students can make the school a more enjoyable place. Some clubs have already come forth and taken advantage of this opportunity. If you guys want to fund some type of activity or have an idea that you believe will make the school a more enjoyable place, I urge you to bring it in! In Senate we don’t hate nor do we discriminate, so bring it in to delegate.

How To Propose a Bill:

1. Type your bill, and put in specific details (how much money you want, what you want it for, how will it be used, etc).2. Email your bill to Bryan Kim the Wednesday before Senate. 3. Don’t forget rules one and two!

Give Me Some Feedback.

Email: johnny_woolf@cate.orgRoom: Schoolhouse Room # 19

Junior Retreat: A Weekend in PerspectiveWon Chung ‘11

Like many other Cate traditions, Junior Retreat emphasizes the importance of community at Cate. Unlike many other Cate traditions, however, Junior Retreat is a tradition that was created by students for the students over two decades ago. Junior Retreat took place high atop the hills of Malibu just above a beautiful beach, and though we were given a chance to take in the scenery, the most memorable

moments of the weekend happened inside. The goal of Junior Retreat was for juniors to bond and develop a sense of identity as a class, and while most of us were doubtful that two days and two nights would “bond” the class, most of us embraced the idea that junior retreat, one way or another, would have a positive impact on our class. Most of the bonding occurred on the last night when the entire class gath-ered in a huge circle for an open forum. The discussion began with a long awkward silence, but as more and more people sum-moned the courage to speak, the discussion became much more relaxed. As person af-ter person spoke of their trials and tribula-

tions, the class listened with understanding and respect. Each passing minute we began to sympathize with each other better and ul-timately trust each other. The teary discus-sion concluded after four hours in what had turned out to be an extremely emotionally charged night. As I saw the smiling faces and the embracing people, I could not help but notice how we as a class had changed so much in four hours. On this trip, we be-gan to identify ourselves not as collective individuals but as a single class.

“we as a class had changed so much in

four hours.”

“The goal of Junior Retreat was for juniors to bond and develop a

sense of identity.”

Do Parents’ Weekend RightKate Montgomery ‘11

The best way to spend Parents’ Weekend is, of course, with your family. But don’t forget to take advantage of the freedom your parents’ presence has to of-fer. Check out restaurant reviews to find perfect places to eat that you normally could not get to. Try these activities with your family during the day that you typi-cally would not be able to do on the week-end. For example, be sure to visit all the right grocery stores so that you can stock up. Of course, there is always Trader Joe’s (29 S. Milpas Street) and Lazy Acres (302 Meigs Road), but Santa Barbara has also recently acquired a Whole Foods. For all of you who enjoy the wide variety of products that Whole Foods has to offer, you can now visit the store on 3761 State Street. The shop is also reasonably acces-sible when you do not have your parents (and their car) with you because you can take the shuttle that goes up and down State Street. Other things to do with your par-ents include visiting museums, going on surrey rides, and seeing the surrounding towns. If you are interested in museums, Santa Barbara has a Museum of Natural History that you can visit, as well as the Santa Barbara Mission, Botanic Gardens, Art Museum, and Lotusland. If you are looking for a fun afternoon in the sun, go for a surrey ride along the coast, or a bike

ride out to the UCSB beach area. You can also visit La Cumbre Plaza, which has a number of stores including Macys, J. Crew, Lucy, and Tiffany & Co. What’s more, there is the 5-Points Shopping Center that contains many little lunch spots just across the street. Finally, if you are feeling really adventurous, drive over to Los Olivos or Solvang (both about fifty minutes away) and explore these two very unique little towns.

“If you are looking for a fun afternoon in the sun, go for a surrey

ride along the coast.”

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PARENTS’ WEEKEND 2009

MalaysiaWhen Lashing is Not Enough

Malaysia is a country known for its severe punishments, and a recent incident involving a Langkawian English teacher further reinforced this stereotypical belief. After finding a cigarette and lighter in a stu-dent’s locker, the boy was forced to smoke two packets of cigarettes in two hours. Despite his denial, the teacher believed that the child had violated the school’s non-smoking policy. The 16-year-old smoked 42 cigarettes and even puffed four simultaneously in order to finish in time; this “puffathon” was made a public event as other teachers and students watched. The boy later claimed to have suffered from side-ef-fects such as the loss of appetite and repeated coughing fits. The local police claimed that the teacher apologized and stated that an accepted form of punishment would usually involve a lashing with a salted rat-tan cane.

IndiaNo Toilet! No Bride!

In the northern Indian state of Haryana, courtship and toilet facilities are both matters of concern. Therefore, mothers have devised a way to address these is-sues. The mothers of the brides-to-be have stated to potential grooms: “If you don’t have a proper lavatory in your house, don’t even think about marrying my daughter.” The slogan has been plas-tered all over villages as part of a cam-paign to increase the number of available lavatory facilities and to solve intricate courtship affairs. With a population that comprises 8% more men than women, females have had to become more vocal by expressing their reluctance to “relieve themselves” outside. A campaign to ad-dress the shortage of proper plumbing has yielded positive results: 1.4 million lava-tories have been built since 2005. Ironi-cally, these northern Indian households still have more TVs than toilets on aver-age. On the other hand, many members of the upper-caste are against the installa-tion of toilets – they believe that such an arrangement is unclean.

TaiwanHello Kitty Maternity Hospital

If you’re into the whole “mouthless kitten” fad, you might consider having your child in the world’s first and only officially authorized Hello Kitty Maternity Hospital in Tai-wan. The kitties are stamped on everything from nursing staff labels to birth certificates. Newborns get everything Hello Kitty imaginable including: a set of whiskers, pink/blue blankets, nurses in Hello Kitty aprons, and hospital rooms with Hello Kitty décor. If you still want more, a Hello Kitty sculpture wearing a doctor’s uniform is always ready to greet you at the lobby, and Hello Kitty mascots visit the mothers and children twice a year. This maternity hospital cost $3 million dollars to build and is said to ease the stress of childbirth. What more can you ask for than to be surrounded by the epitome of cuteness as you give birth?

Asian News

Vivian Chen ‘11

South KoreaWoman Spends $10 Million on Driving Tests

Feeling dim-witted for having failed your driving test numerous times? Not to worry, at least you haven’t set the world record for it. Cha Sa-Soon, a sixty-eight- year old South Korean woman, has set the world record for most failed driver’s tests. She has failed the theory section 775 times ever since she took her first written exam in April 2005. Her scores always fall into the 30-50% range (to pass requires a 60% score). Since her first attempt, she has been showing up for the same exam almost every weekday for the past several years.

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FEATURESR e s t a u r a n t ReviewsKate Montgomery ‘11

Tre Lune (1151 Coast Village Road) This is one of best Italian restau-rants in the Santa Barbara area. It is defi-nitely pricey, so it is the perfect place to visit during Parents’ Weekend when your parents want to take you out to a nice din-ner to celebrate your survival of the first few weeks of school. Tre Lune has a wide

variety of food including a long list of pas-ta dishes, a whole page of different gour-met, Italian style pizzas, and, of course, many different salads and soups. Of all the choices, though, my personal favorite is the Tre Lune burger. Paired with an in-salata crescione, there is not a better Italian meal to find in the Santa Barbara area.

Sakana (1046 Coast Village Road) Also in Montecito, this Japanese restaurant is situated in a secluded spot in the far corner of the Coast Village Vons/Starbucks shopping center. Again, the food is pricey, but definitely worth every penny. The sushi contains a wide range of fish from a giant tank you can see on a screen

in the restaurant. The quality of the food is far superior to Cate students’ standby, Sushi Teri. Along with the delicious main courses, Sakana has a menu of wonderful and unique desserts that one would be hard pressed to find anywhere else. These are an essential part of the Sakana dining experi-ence.

Taqueria El Bajio(129 N Milpas Street) If you are looking for one of the most inexpensive, delectable Mexican meals this side of the border, El Bajio is the place for you. It is a very small, unassum-ing restaurant on Milpas with true Mexican delicacies other than your typical burrito or quesadilla. If you are inclined towards spicy food, the soups are a must. Other must-have items on the menu include soft shell tacos and tamales.

“the food is pricey, but definitely worth every

penny.”

“my personal favorite is the Tre Lune burger.”

Settled between the rocky Ti-betan mountains, whose faces are strewn with prayer flags, and beside the Kyichu (Happy) River, lies a Tibetan orphanage called the Chushul Home. Last year, I raised $1,000 to help fund the building of bathrooms in this orphanage, and this sum-mer I had the opportunity to visit the fin-ished project. The Home was started right outside Lhasa by Peggy Day, a Californian who has been a Himalayan guide for the past twenty-five years. Eleven years ago, she raised $30,000, borrowed a flat-bed truck from the local monastery, and, with the help of the local villagers and the bless-ing of the Dalai Llama, completed the first of three orphanages. Today it is home to twenty-six orphaned children, the majority coming from villages close by. Three local Tibetan adults live in the Home with the kids full-time: Chuden “Mommy,” Pali “Grandpa,” and Norgay “Teacher.” Mommy is a warm-hearted woman who can relate easily with the kids because she also lost her parents when she was young. She has three rules for her chil-dren: study hard, be a good person, and don’t marry too young. Grandpa works

the odd jobs around the home and has recently finished planting fruit trees. Finally, Teacher helps the kids with their

homework and also teaches them Tibetan grammar and history, which are not taught in the Chinese school they are required to attend. Education is extremely impor-tant to the children in the Chushul Home. The majority of the children want to be-come doctors or teachers. Ms. Day visits often, and while there, she conducts fam-ily discussions about each of the kids’ fu-tures and the value of their studies. Ms. Day also brings in people from a variety of professions and trades so the kids are aware of potential employment opportu-nities in Tibet. Ranging from ages eight to twenty-three, the kids at Chushul are an active group. They are always outside playing basketball or ping-pong together, but it is their binding love for one another that makes the home truly special. Ms. Day makes sure people understand that the Chushul Home is a home, not an or-phanage; they are a family. The kids re-ally enjoy being together, and they treat each other like brothers and sisters, but, as Ms. Day likes to point out, with less fighting.

The Chushul HomeBrennan Cusack ‘11

Like all families, everyone has his/her role in the family dynamics. The two jokers of the home are the young broth-ers Norbu and Kunga Tsering. They are be-lieved to be eleven, but they don’t know their real birthdays; in fact, very few of the kids do. Kunga has a bone deformity in his legs that leaves him, even after two surger-ies, with a bad limp. However, you would be underestimating him if you thought it would slow him down. He has no problem playing pranks with his brother. Sonam Dycki is the only Chinese girl in the home, and she loves helping Mommy around the house. Very soft spoken, she was found as an infant abandoned under a nearby bridge. She now dreams of being the next Mom-my of the home. Phurbulhamu, the oldest at Chushul, has lived at the home since it started and is now in her last year of nurs-ing school. Clearly a hard worker, she (and many of the other older kids) told us that they all aspire to make enough money to be able to pay back the home in some way. They are all very thankful to be growing up in such a loving environment. The Chushul Home is not only important to the future of these kids, but it also encourages the passing of Tibetan cul-ture to the next generation. By the end of my trip, I had fallen in love with Tibet, its rich history, and the twenty-six kids who are being taught to keep it alive. That is

continued on p. 7 Chushul

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OPINION

The one thing I hope everyone currently knows about American politics is the need for reform due to our economic crisis. The Health Care Debate stems from this need. More importantly, the fact that almost 15.8% of people in the United States are uninsured and financially unable to pay for health treatments makes this reform a matter of basic rights. In general terms, the reason why the current health care system is economically unviable is because of bu-reaucratic inefficiency. America is the only industrialized nation that does not have a universal health care system – instead, we have thousands of private insurance companies. We are a capitalist country, right? Well, in this case, the large num-ber of choices causes massive problems. Each time a patient has to visit a doctor, the doctor must fill out a form to cover the insurance of that patient in order to treat him/her. As you can imagine, the cost of dealing with all this mundane bureaucracy piles up. Another problem with the ram-pant capitalism that dominates our health care system is the fact that the private companies are looking out for their own interests. They are private companies for a reason. These insurance companies are interested in attracting the healthy “low maintenance” citizens of the US and will try to exclude those lower-middle class

why I am working to get all of the children at the Chushul Home sponsored by some families here in the States. My challenge is to raise about $600 per child to help defray his/her living expenses. These expenses include helping to pay for school tuition, clothes, food, textbooks, medical bills, and housing. The Chushul Home strives to bring the children up in the Tibetan tradi-tion while preparing them to live in what seems to be an increasingly Chinese-domi-nated society. Our support is critical to their success. If you would like to learn more about the Chushul Home or how to become a sponsor, please email me at BrennanCu-sack@gmail.com.

Chushul continued from p. 6 The Health Care Debate: A “Basic Right” or Not -- and What You Should Know

citizens who will make significant claims. They will make any loophole necessary to cheat patients out of care. Obviously, this

goes against the very nature of insurance. Do we really want to allow private compa-nies to maximize their profit while ignor-ing the real goals of insurance -to provide cost-effective and efficient coverage to the largest amount of people possible? As you can see, the issues at hand are not only eco-nomic, but also social in nature. If you have followed this issue at all, you have probably noticed that in the national government, the issue has trans-formed from “health care as a basic right” to a bipartisan squabble. I absolutely abhor the mindless fanaticism of party devotees who are unwilling to accept any legislation just because they associate themselves with a certain party. This statement is aimed at both parties. This is why the health care re-form has made no process.

Fortunately, there does seem to be a faint glow at the end of the tunnel. The fact that the Democrats have decided to not write the single-payer system into the health care bill is a compromise that pleas-es the Republicans. A single payer system is exactly what it sounds like—a single, government-operated insurance branch that collects all medical fees and pays for all the covered services. This eliminates the hassle of dealing with multiple greedy private companies and is the standard in many modern countries. The Republicans have also begun to compromise, and on November 10th, Obama mentioned several Republicans who now support a Demo-cratic plan of reform. Obama’s reform, in the typical American fashion, is a compromise be-tween core capitalistic values and egalitar-ian values. Search “The Obama Plan in 4 Minutes” on YouTube for a quick view of the reform objectives. It essentially states that Americans will still be able to keep their private insurance if they wish, but there will also be a public option for those who cannot afford it. This public option will serve as a check on private insurance because private firms will now have a vi-able competitor that actually looks out for the best interest of Americans. At this point, the Congress has finished several drafts of the bill, but the Finance Committee’s modifications have hindered the bill’s progress. After this draft is completed, it will be merged with the other bills into a final piece of legislation created with input from both parties. Many believe that Obama has conceded too many aspects of his original reform for the sake of compromise. I believe that we must be-gin somewhere, and without compromise nothing would have been possible. Gain-ing the trust of the Republicans is a wise and necessary move if changes are to be made. After all, it is political tradition in the United States for reform to be ardu-ous and lengthy. It is how our government is set up: no one faction can exercise too much control. This is why, regardless of the Democratic majority in Congress, the reform has taken almost a year. Neverthe-less, Americans have a unique ability to ar-rive at consensus despite the diversity of cultures and beliefs. In Obama’s words, “Health insurance reform is not a Demo-cratic or Republican issue. It is an Ameri-can issue.” I am confident that the reform will benefit America. Though many argue that America’s health care is fine because it is efficient compared to many universal health systems, it appeals to too few Amer-icans to make any real difference. Is health care a basic right or not? If so, no matter your political inclinations, it is obvious that a more inclusive health care system is needed.

“‘Health insurance reform is not a Demo-cratic or Republican issue. It is an Ameri-

can issue.’”

Edgar Velasco ‘10

elbatidor.comDearest Readers, As you all hopefully know, the online version of El Bat, has been resusci-tated even though it had a DNR order. We rebelliously slapped it around and brought it back to life. A new feature of elbatidor.com will be classifieds for mercenaries and assassins. JK!! The new feature will actually include polls about your, the students’, opinions.Here are some of the hot button issues that will be up for voting:

Marijuana: Helpful High or Moral Sin?Cate Schedule Version II: For Better or for Worse?Cate’s New Construction Plans: Useful Upgrade or Irrational Exuberance?

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OPINIONLos Niños: The FactsDave Mochel

I must confess that I was intensely curious when I began reading the article about Los Niños written in the last issue of El Batidor. I must also confess that my curiosity was driven by the fact that the author of that article has never been on a Los Niños trip, nor had he spoken to the person who has been coordinating the trips for the last eight years - namely me. Hav-ing said this, I would like to commend Mr. Keneally for sharing his opinion openly, for beginning this dialog, and for creating an opportunity to offer some information about the Los Niños program and its phi-losophy. Mr. Keneally argued that it would be more efficient if we gave the money that Cate students pay to go on the trip di-rectly to workers in Mexico. This question of efficiency is an important one. Before one can measure the efficiency of any en-deavor, however, one must be aware of the outcome that is sought. Ian may have an outcome in mind that he thinks Los Niños should adopt, but he did not outline the ac-tual goals that the Los Niños organization has chosen for itself. When Los Niños started over thir-ty years ago, it was a direct aid organiza-tion that offered food, clothing, and money to those in need. What became readily ap-parent in those early years is that the same

people kept showing up for assistance over and over - this well-intentioned effort seemed to create greater dependence rather than the empowerment and independence the organization had hoped for. The major part of the Los Niños mission is to aid and empower people to make positive change within their commu-nities. To that end, a significant portion of the fees each student pays to go on a Los Ninos trip go toward:- The cost of 1/2 of the materials used on the work projects, which is matched through fundraising efforts in the commu-nities where we work. - The Promotora program, that trains mem-bers of the local communities to provide outreach education on sustainable prac-tices such recycling, composting, organic

gardening, and vegetarian cooking.- An internationally recognized microlend-ing program that helps people start small businesses from their homes.- A group of beekeepers who have estab-lished a thriving cooperative that supports a small village. In addition to the efforts to create sustainable growth in local communities, Los Niños also works to educate the stu-dents who travel to Tijuana or Mexicali for this experience. It is a unique situation to have a country with a developing economy sharing a border with one of the most pow-erful nations in the world. Students who go on these trips are exposed to a different perspective on the politics, social dynam-ics, and economics of the region. Among other things, Cate students have visited:

- Shelters for migrants who have been de-ported from the US or who are waiting to cross the border,- Orphanages where children live because their parents can’t afford to feed them dur-ing the week, - Local artists and architects who are work-ing to change the complexion of the city, - A park where families divided by an in-ternational border celebrate birthdays with a fence between them. Perhaps Mr. Keneally and I do not see things so differently after all; he suggests that if we sent money directly, it would “stay in the Mexican economy.” As it turns out, other than long-term student volunteers from the United States, Los Ni-ños exclusively employs men and women from Mexico to run the programs I have described above, thereby “giving them a decent paying job, and boost(ing) consum-er spending, which helps to support local businesses.” Mr. Keneally ended his article with these words: “I believe that what it boils down to is the types of philanthropists we want to be remembered as. Do we wish to revel in the experience of helping oth-ers? Or should we approach community service in a way that maximizes efficiency, quality, and effectiveness of our actions?” I think these ideas and questions are worth investigating, and I wholeheartedly invite Mr. Keneally to consider going on a Los Ninos trip so that he might gain firsthand experience which he can use to judge the efficiency, quality, and effectiveness of our actions.

What it Means to ServeChristian Lowe ‘10

man is walking down a beach and notices that hundreds of thousands of starfish are lit-tered across the sand, washed

up by the water and left to die. He notices a young boy in the distance. As he gets closer, he realizes that the boy is stooping down to pick up the starfish one at a time and throw them back into the ocean. The man walks up to him and says, “You aren’t doing anything. There are too many. There are still thousands more who are going to die.” The boy looks up at the man and re-plies, “Not this one,” and chucks the star-fish into the water. McFly told me this story at Pyles

Camp. To me, it sums up what it means to be working in a community and global service project. Oftentimes you hear about summers spent in third world countries, about the times one was able to bring dolls

to kids in an orphanage or deliver wheel-chairs to cripples. And sadly, the reaction that we have come to embrace is one of passivity and stometimes general dismiss-al. What I mean is this: How many times have you heard responses to community service organizations such as, “Yea, it’s just a scam,” or, “Well, they’re not really doing anything,” or even, “They’re just doing it for themselves.” Sure, a healthy amount of skepticism is needed when talking about people who claim to have the solution to the world’s problems. But often, their ef-forts aren’t futile. Even if at first one hopes

“Let’s not get caught in our own little

worlds.”

to save millions but only ends up helping a few hundred, just a dozen, or even one per-son, that’s still enough to make a difference in someone’s life. What I am saying is, let’s first con-sider the other side. Let’s not get caught in

our own little worlds, only thinking about what our actions mean to us. More often than not, it is the actions we take and the honest efforts that show we care for others that will be the one thing the person on the receiving end actually needs.

A

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PARENTS’ WEEKEND 2009

SeniorityMegan Falvey ‘10

Like most pre-teens, I fantasized in middle school about being a senior in high school. With television shows such as The OC and Gossip Girl constantly being fed to us, “tweeners” are essentially forced to believe that twenty-something actors look and act like high school students. In-deed, when I first stepped onto the Mesa, I carried this glamorized perspective with me; I saw my seniors as the epitome of cool. To me (a shy, scared, and vertically challenged fourteen-year-old girl), the sim-ple confidence they exhibited was enough to make me believe that they were all over six feet tall and as mature as you can be. Today, I find myself struggling to accept the fact that I am now at that age because in my heart, I still feel like that girl who arrived on the Mesa three years ago. Yet, at the same time, I cannot deny the truth.

“Are Day Students Second Class Citizens on the Mesa?”Sofia Florimbi ‘11 and Lauren Gurley ‘11

It has come to our attention that while day students enjoy many privileges, in-cluding daily Starbucks lattes, the liberties of a license, and no dinner sign in, the Cate community is not exactly hospitable to this small but indispensable minority. For ex-ample, after the recent hoedown dance, day students were forbidden to spend the night on campus. This was one of the first weekends of the year and a time for new and returning students to get to know each other. We felt this decision was completely unjust, espe-cially to the freshmen who had not yet had the chance to spend the night in a dorm and bond with their fellow classmates. In fact, we felt this rule was almost exclusionary; it prohibited the day-student community from participate in the fun that typically follows a dance. Another notable discrimination against day students is the fact that we are still

unable to listen to the highly publicized Cate Radio (we do, however, realize there are technical difficulties). But how are we supposed to know what happened on Bill and Ed’s show last night??? This is a perfect example of a situation in which day students are ex-cluded from certain aspects of the Cate experience. On a geographical note, there is the parking situation! The day student park-ing lot is a MILLION miles away from the day room, and if anyone is caught parking somewhere else, then he or she is banned from parking on the Mesa for two weeks. In our opinion, this is far too extreme a response. Since facing the consequences of parking elsewhere is too risky, we must haul our nine million textbooks, binders, tennis rackets, running shoes, formal dinner attire, and nine lattés (purchased for boarders) across the entire school adding to our fatigue and making us late for class. On that note, many teach-ers assume that we are simply making up excuses when we are late to class due to real problems like traffic and other roadblocks. On a final note, we are confined to a dank, dark dungeon under High House that reeks of junk food and B.O. known as the Day Room, a location that truly belittles the day students. Don’t get us wrong; we do love being day students! There are just some com-mon prejudices that should be known and addressed. On the other hand, we are infinitely grateful for our boarder buddies, Theresa, private showers, parents and pets, home-cooked meals, no “lights out,” and other priceless day student privileges!

Often, I hear fellow seniors voic-ing this same opinion to underclassmen. They say that when they were freshmen, the seniors looked much older and bigger than our class looks. Recently, I have start-ed to question whether or not this is true. Is it possible that we have blown this “being a senior” so far out of proportion that it is

impossible for us to actually be one? According to some teachers, this phenomenon occurs with every new batch of seniors who are shocked at the realiza-tion that they are now the oldest class at the school where they were once considered “little Freshies.” On multiple occasions, I have heard teachers attempt to explain to

my classmates that they are no different from the seniors whom they admired fresh-man year. And yet, we never seem to be able to accept it. Although senior year has given me a little more self-confidence, the truth is that despite the media hype, being a senior is really not all that glamorous.

Students are shocked at the sight of a dead mouse in the Day Room--a com-mon occurrence, we’re told.

In an attempt to make the Day Room more aesthetically pleasing, the Day Students fashioned their own decorations.

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Science&Nature

Tesla Model SMackenzie Bohannon ‘10

I love to go fast. I love that feel-ing in your hair as you’re zipping down an empty road, windows open, foot at a ninety degree angle to the floor, going so fast that the landscape around you is unrecogniz-able, as if you’re about to fly. However, for me at least, that feeling is seldom felt due to two major obstacles: my lack of heaps of disposable cash and my aversion to spend-ing that precious cash on environmentally hazardous gasoline. However, this summer, my BFF Barack decided to solve my prob-lem with his Cash-For-Clunkers program – the cash obstacle was removed! (Osten-sibly, at least-- if you knew my parents, you’d see what I was up against.) Determined, I went out research-ing possible “green” sports cars, and af-ter finding some pretty amazing (albeit

SC³ Liana Corwin ‘10

The West Virginia heat hung heavily in the air, clinging to our clothes and pulling on the ends of our hair. It hit us like a slow, drawn out punch, a kind of east coast “greeting” we had never known and doubted we would ever become accus-tomed to. This was the site of the Student Climate and Conservation Congress, better known as SC³, and the place where the six of us—Joe, Allegra, Mackenzie, Paige, Ms. Powers, and I—spent a week of our sum-mer. We dedicated ourselves to learning about the environment with the hopes of eventually implementing real change. De-spite the overwhelming heat, the National Conservation Training Center for the Fish and Wildlife Service was absolutely beau-tiful. Winding paths and groves of trees dominated the scene, with bouts of grassy hills and bridges and streams to mix up the routine. Day 1 found us in orientation with the other 100 or so students in the program. We were addressed by Peg Watson, the or-ganizer of the conference, as well as many other dedicated individuals who assisted her in the development of the program. We were then split up into 9 different cohorts. The students in our cohorts were our peers for the entire week. They were the people who we discussed pertinent environmental issues with, and drew action plans for how to best confront these problems. We also discussed the main themes and ideas the many speakers introduced, and attempted to break down what they said in order to more fully understand them. After we be-came acquainted with our cohorts, there was a certain kind of excitement in the air— a serious hype that was almost infec-

tious. I couldn’t keep myself from jittering with anticipation for the following day, even when we were addressed by Douglas Brinkley, a history professor at Rice Uni-versity and the first of our many speakers. His speech inspired us to think about using history as a tool for determining the an-swers to the problems of the present, espe-cially in terms of the environment and our human impact on the globe. The keynote speaker, Robert Ken-nedy Jr., kicked off Day 2 with an incred-ibly motivating and empowering speech. An environmental activist to the core, Mr. Kennedy shared with us his experience as the Chief Prosecuting Attorney for River-keeper, a program that works to protect the Hudson River in New York, as well as the many protests he has participated in. Ad-dressing the SC³ after Mr. Kennedy was Alec Loorz, a fourteen year-old student from Ventura, and the youngest US-trained presenter of The Climate Project. Not only was he a speaker at the conference, but he was a participant as well. Although he was not in my cohort, he was working in the group that Cate’s very own Cheryl Powers led! Day 2 also saw Virginia Burkett and Dan Ashe speak. Dr. Burkett provided us with a speedy overview of environmental science via video-conference. She spoke about global warming on a scientific level, giving us the data and hard facts so that we could fully understand what was happen-ing. Mr. Ashe spoke to us about the Fish and Wildlife Service, educating us about their efforts to abate the many current environmental issues. After the speeches ended, we went outside to a clearing for a bonfire with Woneeya Thundering Hawk, who initiated several Native American “ceremonies”. I have to admit, this was the strangest part of the entire trip, and I am still baffled as to how it ties into the goals of the conference.

The bonfire crackled earnestly within the ring of rocks, completely oblivi-ous to the hush that had engulfed the group. My eyes flicked back and forth, looking for a familiar face or some sort of clue as to what would happen next. I was not pre-pared. All of a sudden, I noticed a figure circling the group. It began to move faster and faster, closer and closer, until I could see it flashing in and out of the firelight. Wild blonde hair streaming behind her, the fire dancing in her eyes, Woneeya Thun-dering Hawk began to chant. I don’t mean quiet prayer under her breath, I mean full on chanting. I am certain that if I had been a mile away I would have heard it. When she started speaking again, she urged us to get in touch with our core. She then sprin-kled us with herbs from a turtle shell. At the end, she somehow managed to segway into camp songs, and suddenly it was as if the entire eccentric experience had never

even happened at all. The next few days were host to many different speakers. Some were or-ganic farmers, some ran non-profit orga-nizations, some had started schools, and others still were scientists. It was a great range of people with very different ideas and circumstances. Having such a diversity of people opened up the floor to even more innovative and interesting solutions, and the cohorts definitely took advantage of the multitude of opportunities for problem-solving. Overall, I believe the conference was a success. Every single student came away with an action plan devoted to pro-moting green efforts at their school, as well as the genuine desire to make a difference. I won’t miss the heavy heat of West Virgin-ia, but I will miss being in a place where so many people were determined to do their part to the help environment.

waaaayyyyy out of my price range) non-gas-guzzling cars, I found The One -- The Tesla Model S. At $49,900, it isn’t what most would call cheap, but if you factor in the $7,500 Cash4Clunkers refund AND the fact that you wouldn’t be paying $20-$75 dollars every stinking time you wanted to go somewhere, it’s pretty nice. Not to mention, I could do trips from my house in San Francisco to visit Jazmin Sherwood in Los Angeles on a single charge. Not only that, but I could do it with Megan Falvey, Isabelle Spears, Victor Grajski, Liana Cor-win, Sarah Blank, and Brendan Lyddon -- with me, that’s seven people. And we’d still have room for luggage. And, if worse came to worse, I could do a full charge in 45 minutes, say, while we wait for our In-N-Out burgers. Plus, this baby goes 0-60 in 5.6 – 1.2 seconds faster than my daddy’s gas-moderate Acura, and hours faster than my mom’s gas-sucking Jeep.

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PARENTS’ WEEKEND 2009

Cash For Clunkers: A Success?Brennan Cusack ‘11

On July 27, the Car Allowance Rebate System, or “Cash for Clunkers” program, was launched with the two goals of helping the automobile industry with its financial failings, and getting more fuel-ef-ficient cars on the road. The system states that any person who owns a car that has been registered for more than a year and gets less than eighteen miles per gallon is given a certain sum of money by the govern-ment to buy a more fuel-efficient car. The new car must be priced at $45,000 or less, and the amount of money the government gives the buyer depends on how the new car’s fuel economy compares to the old. If the new car gets 4 more miles per gallon, then the buyer will get a $3,500 voucher, if the difference is 10 mpg or higher, then the government gives the owner a voucher for $4,500. The government put aside $1 bil-lion for this plan, believing that this money would last until Nov. 1, when they would

Urban PlanningLiana Corwin ‘10

Urban planning is finally gravitat-ing towards the needs of people. Instead of structuring cities around the ease and

efficiency of automobiles, urban planners are beginning to step back and think about the people instead of machines. Naturally, the task of constructing entirely new cities may seem daunting, but with a projected global population of 9.2 billion in 2050, we are going to have to start thinking about it seriously. When considering this figure, it is imperative to think about the impact we will be making on the environment if we continue our present lifestyle with such a large population. It is vital for us to change the way in which we live, which is precisely what environmentally-focused urban planners are dialing in on. While it is

great to be thinking of what we can do with the new, we must also remember the old, and come up with ways to re-structure our existing cities. This is already being done to some extent in places like Manhattan and San Francisco, and I am hopeful that other major—and minor—cities will fol-low suit. Urban planning has been tweaked in an environmental direction in recent years, with an emphasis on the ways in which we can make less of an impact. Some particularly innovative planners have begun to conceive of the potential for incorporating the natural world into urban development. Mitchell Joachim is the co-founder of Terreform 1, a non-profit design group very much dedicated to the idea of people over machines and environ-mental sustainability. In a speech he gave to the Student Conservation and Climate Congress, he stressed the importance of eliminating the pro-automobile mentality, and offered a unique array of environmen-tally-friendly transportation opportunities. One Dr. Joachim’s most innovative urban planning ideas is the concept of the “Fab Tree Hab,” in which homes are literally grown from trees. As the Terreform 1 web-site explains, “a living structure is grafted into shape with prefabricated Computer Numeric Controlled (CNC) reusable scaf-

folds” thus making it possible to complete-ly immerse urban dwellings into the natu-ral world. This would not only be one of the coolest looking technologies but would

also increase wildlife habitat, as well as take advantage of tree root systems for wa-ter, etc. Unfortunately, the “Fab Tree Hab” hasn’t been implemented anywhere yet but less radical ideas of a similar nature have, such as natural roofs on top of business complexes. Converting already developed cit-ies into more people-oriented places is al-ready underway in a few locations. These projects aim to diminish automobile space and create more parks and places for peo-ple to get around without using energy. For example, Park(ing) Day, a globally rec-ognized event aimed to draw attention to

the emphasis cities place on machines, at-tempted to bring the focus back to the idea of natural, people-friendly spaces. In New York, parking spaces were converted into grassy parks, and in San Francisco, many

long stretches of parking lot were turned into outdoor café seating. San Francisco is adopting a project in the same vein, the “Pavement to Parks” program. The pur-pose, as it can be determined from the name, is to turn public throughways into parks. This is a great practice that is being implemented currently. Urban planning is undergoing a kind of green revolution, and it is likely that we will benefit from these new ideas in the future. Perhaps we will eventually see a variation of the “Fab Tree Hab,” as we are already undertaking a green-reno-vation in some existing cities. It may take us some time, but I am hopeful that we will eventually make our living spaces greener and more eco-friendly urban areas.

end the program. In fact, the money only lasted for one week. Believing this to be

the sign of a successful operation, the gov-ernment borrowed $2 billion more from a loan program for green energy products, but even that didn’t get them to their esti-mated finishing date. On August 24, almost a month from when it started, the Cash for Clunkers program was ended. The government called Cash for Clunkers a huge success, and in many as-pects it was. Environmentally, the Ford Motor Company has estimated that there will be a reduction of five to ten million barrels of oil consumed over the next five years. From an economic standpoint, car sales skyrocketed 26.5% from this July, and 1% from August of last year. “I think it was absolutely a raging success,” says Tim Longnecker, the vice-president of automo-tive and technology markets for Axiom.

“Some would say that all this did was pull forward sales, but I just don’t agree with that. I think this brought out a number of buyers that wouldn’t normally be in the marketplace.” With the auto companies regrowing, jobs that were threatened at the beginning of the summer can now re-main after the program ends. In fact, it is estimated that around 42,000 jobs will be saved or created as a result of Cash for Clunkers. Mike DiGiovanni, General Mo-tors’ executive director of global market analysis says, “ [As] Employment increas-es, incomes rise, and people buy things. So the multiplier effect through the econ-omy is pretty big.” Thus starts a beneficial chain reaction that many hope will help the American economy. But others are much more skep-tical about the program, and point out the negative effects it has had on certain groups of people. By trading in old cars for new ones, industries such as auto repair, auto parts, and used car dealerships are strug-gling. Furthermore, the number of cars do-nated to charity has fallen sharply. Many people who had traded in their old cars

before the Cash for Clunker program was initiated are frustrated because they did not get similar discounts. Some also speculate

that the Cash for Clunkers program accom-plished little more than the time-shifting of car sales. As a result, the number of car purchases will be much lower in the com-ing months, which means the program will have had no real economic benefit after the initial surge of purchases. Cash for Clunkers helped get more fuel-efficient cars on the road, and also boosted car sales, thus benefiting an industry that plays a key role in the Ameri-can economy. However, on the other hand, the program may have damaged industries that rely on used cars and their repair. By the end of the year, it will be easier to see whether the Cash for Clunkers program was truly a success or not.

“the number of cars donated to charity has

fallen sharply.”

“the money only last-ed for one week.”

“Urban planning is undergoing a kind of green revolution.”

“urban planners are beginning to step back

and think about the people instead of ma-

chines.”

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LIFEStyle

Upon hearing I was to give some-one on campus a makeover, I instantly thought of Caitlin-Joelle Cain, a smiley, freckled brunette from Huntington Beach, CA. The difference between our styles is that Caitlin often wears crèmes and blues, cozy knits, and Tom’s sneakers, while I usu-ally opt for darker colors such as black and purple, as well as coats, and Converse. Caitlin arrived in my room wear-ing a grey sweater, a white and blue floral-print shirt, light wash jeans (cuffed at the ankle) and a new pair of wooly grey Tom’s sneakers. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and her signature long pink charm necklace jingled as she moved. I took out her ponytail and dressed her in a black and white patterned sheer dress with a black shift under, black patent leather sandals, and a long silver necklace (in homage to her own). After “transforming” her, I in-terviewed her about both the look she was wearing as well as her own. MW: How would you describe your style? CC: It is kind of a relaxed chic, a mixture

Dear Dr. Tracy, After Junior Retreat, I started re-ally loving my class. Is that normal?-Feeling the love. Dear Feeling the Love, I am truly glad that you have start-ed to love your class because if you didn’t, well, that would have been quite a waste of a weekend. For those underclassmen that don’t know, I’ll stop a rumor right now: Ju-nior Retreat is not the time where everyone sits in a circle, holding hands, and singing Kumbaya. It’s when, through a variety of group discussions, you get to know your class in ways you hadn’t before. So once you step off that bus Sunday afternoon, you’re not alone in wanting to hug every junior you come across throughout the day. Don’t hold back--chances are good that all the other juniors are feeling the same way, so it’s a great time to talk to someone you haven’t before. Keep up the love!Tracy

Dear Dr. Tracy, I have a dilemma. I am a fresh-man girl, and I really like this older senior boy. I think he thinks I’m cute, but in the, “Aw, isn’t she precious” way.How do I climb out of this trap? Please help!-Cute as a Teddy Bear

Dear Dr. Tracy, I am a senior, and I am on the brink of going insane. I have too much to do, and I feel like there’s too little time. My college apps, AP classes, social life, and clubs are ruling my life. How do I keep from ending up in the psychiatric ward at the hospital?-Stressed to the Max Dear Stressed to the Max, Remember, now. You are a senior. In a couple months you will be a second se-mester senior. Months go by fast if you’re working hard. If, after thinking about this, you are still convinced you’re about to be the next Lindsay Lohan and fall face first into the deep end, maybe you are doing too much. Try to make more time during the day by dropping out of one club. If that is impossible, well, my friend, try to listen to music that makes you happy while rifling through homework.Good luck,Tracy

Dear Dr. Tracy, I am a sophomore, and I am already going through that “deadly” sophomore

slump. It’s too early in the year for this! What should I do?-Slumpy Mcslumperson Dear Slumpy Mcslumperson, It’s only two months into the school year, and you’ve already lost sight of the light at the end of the tunnel?!?! You give up too easily. If you are truly depressed about your currant situation in life, then go to your room and watch Glee. The show is so sickeningly sweet that if you don’t feel a little bit more optimistic by the end of listening to Don’t Stop Be-lievin’ and Somebody to Love, you might have a real problem. So buck it up kid. Get up in the morning and put on your “just barely a sophomore” shoes, drink some caffeinated coffee, look out your window and say, “Hello world, today is a beautiful day.” Despite popular belief, tenth grade is a great year, and if you spend it in a state of self-pitying fake grief, you will realize, once it passes, that great opportunities have passed too, and you will feel real grief. Tracy

of East and West coast. MW: Where is your favorite place to shop? CC: At home, I like to shop at Fashion Is-land. It’s a small outdoor mall with nice places to eat, and its not stuffy like most indoor malls. Anthropologie is one of my favorites, and I really like Blue Bee in San-ta Barbara. MW: Do you have a favorite clothing item? CC: My favorite item is definitely my dark blue shirt. It is very simple and buttons down the front, but it’s cozy and perfect for a chilly day. MW: How do you feel about the outfit you are wearing now? Would you wear it? CC: I really like this outfit even though the colors are much darker than ones I usually wear. Its very unique, and I especially like the long silver necklace with the boxing glove charms- I usually wear long neck-laces, so it adds a bit of my own touch to the outfit. I’ve actually come to see that our personal styles aren’t so different after all. I’ve been successfully made over!

Dear Cute as a Teddy Bear, There are a number of things you can do to try and get noticed, but it really depends on who this boy is, so I will stick to a simple list of don’ts.Whatever you do, 1) Don’t dress in too little cloth-ing. That will make him think that you’re trying to look like Miley Cyrus, which in turn will remind him of his ten-year-old sister who always watches Disney Chan-nel. No guy wants to date a girl who re-minds him of his ten-year-old sister. 2) Don’t chat him every time he’s on Firstclass or Facebook, and don’t text him everyday after dinner. The reason for this should be pretty much self-explana-tory; if you don’t understand, well, this might be a lost cause. 3) Don’t run away giggling with your friends every time you see him or hear him. This action will be associated with middle school and that’s not attractive to someone who’s almost legal. 4) Don’t not talk to him. The only way this senior is going to know that you, a freshman, exist is if you actually commu-nicate. Mouthing “I love you” to his back as he walks out of the dining hall does not count as a conversation. So my advice to you, honey, is be yourself, but also follow my tips -- or re-sort to a year full of Facebook stalking and dreaming.Tracy

Makeover!

Doctor Tracy

Madeline Wheeler ‘11

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PARENTS’ WEEKEND 2009

\hip-stur\n. Julia Hodgkinson ‘11

One who possesses tastes, social attitudes, and opinions deemed cool by the cool. Hipsters are a subculture of men and women who value independent thinking, counter-culture, and progressive politics. They also have an appreciation for art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter. So how can one identify a so-called Hipster? Well, they will always deny being a Hipster. They hate the word. They are probably living off their parent’s money (and spending a great deal of it to look like they don’t have any). Most are tattooed, possibly gay, and they are all definitely cooler than you. Both Hipster men and women sport similar androgy-nous hair-styles that include a combination of messy shag cuts and asymmetric side-swept bangs. Such styles are often associ-ated with the work of creative stylists at urban salons and are usually too “edgy” for the culturally sheltered mainstream con-sumer. The “effortless cool” urban-bohe-

The Ethicist:Double DippingEdgar Velasco ‘10

At Cate School, it is understood and encouraged that we act with a sense of morality and righteousness. We claim to be the utopia “upon a hill,” and this facet is arguably where our pride originates. Therefore, today I will be pondering the widely controversial issue referred to as “double dipping.” First, let us put the is-sue in context. “Double dipping” occurs in instances where there is some sort of food that requires dipping into a (usually) fluid additive to enhance its taste. If the dipped food is of such size that it cannot be eaten in a single bite, the tendency is to reintro-duce the bitten food into the taste-enhanc-ing additive. As we know, this constitutes a “conflict of interest” between the desires of the double dipper and a formal obligation to prevent contamination of the communal taste-enhancing additive. At first glance the issue might seem to resolve itself. It defies the estab-lished code of courtesy – Do unto oth-ers that which you would have done unto

yourself. However, if viewed from a con-sequential point of view, we can perhaps justify the action. If we view the “moral worth” of the behavior as the product of the consequences, it is a different story. Rarely, if ever, does one get sick from double dip-ping, at least in my experience. In turn, the double dipper receives a much more enjoy-able dining experience. The character of the double dipper now comes into play. Sometimes in ethics it is not the result but the action itself that is called into question. This is referred to as deontology. A double dipper is concerned with his or her pleasurable eating experi-ence. And after all, isn’t America founded on this principle? It is your “pursuit of hap-piness.” Furthermore, we have already es-tablished that the action rarely affects oth-ers in a negative way. Therefore we reach a divide in the philosophy of the question: Morality vs. Objectivity. If you are an idealist, you never double dip. That is way too hedonistic for you, and God forbid you risk breaking the understood courtesy. As a consequential thinker, you assess the situation and make a decision based on the relative probabili-ties of certain results. Finally, all you hedo-nists raise the issue of liberalism and your “right for happiness” that is so explicit in our government.

“Rarely, if ever, does one get sick from dou-

ble dipping.”mian look of a Hipster is best exemplified in Urban Outfitters and American Apparel ads which cater towards the Hipster demo-graphic. They say they’d like to drop out of college and become a hermit in the moun-tains, but they never do. They pretend to feel alienated, but fit in so well it’s disgust-ing. However, in all fairness, that

band you love would never have gotten anywhere if the Hipsters weren’t into them first. Although the original motives behind the Hipster lifestyle may have been to ex-plore and appreciate the alternative, this subculture has unfortunately been melted down into the mass production of individu-ality – the exact opposite of what any true Hipster holds dear.

Joe Gottwald ‘10This Halloween season, be the cool kid you’ve always wanted to be by enjoying these delicious, festive foods:

Garlic can be used effectively to help control acne. It is has been linked to cardiovascular health as well as lower cholesterol. Garlic contains antioxidants as well as trace amounts of penicillin which helps ward off Dracula bacteria.

The pumpkin is ubiquitous during the American fall season; and it may be true that you only find it on your plate in the shape of a triangle… pie, which isn’t all that healthy. But pumpkins do, in fact, contain carotenoids. These little orange guys fight free radicals. Free radicals are molecules that can damage your cells’ membrane screwing them (and you) over. After you carve a jack-o-lantern, scoop out the seeds and roast them for a tasty healthy snack!

“I call, I call it chocolate love!” Chocolate, le dark, of course contains many substances that make you feel good. Not only does chocolate taste delicious and make you happy when you eat it, it also contains chemicals that create feelings of pleasure and some that work as anti-depressants. It’s also works as a stimulant f.y.i. (not that you need to know or anything, seriously, you don’t, drop it, now, okay, we’re done).

Sportz Starzthey’re just like you!

Cooking Corner

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THEArts

The Rebellious Question Won Chung ‘11 My mom would often tell me stories about my being a very curious lit-tle boy armed with a one-word question: why? While I have undoubtedly gained a

Stripping the Walls

BareDom Pincot ‘11

They are coming.

I must prepare and hide my things.

They mustn’t see my treasure-box,

Full of shinies and buttons and pins.

They mustn’t see my drawing book,

My characters and dreams and whims.

They mustn’t see my superstitions,

The fear of noises in the shadows grim.

They mustn’t see, no they can’t…

They mustn’t see my secrets dim,

For they would only stare.

They mustn’t see this and this and this…

But now my walls are bare.

Perhaps I can let them see just one little bit:

A dragon doodle on the wall,

A tarnished chain looped round a cuddled doll,

The pictures done at nine at night,

The dreamcatchers hanging within your sight,

The wishes uttered within a silent drawl,

And the dreams and soul of a teenage girl

Pasted ‘cross her walls.

tremendous amount of knowledge since my days as a wide-eyed five year old, it saddens me that one thing I seem to have lost is my insatiable thirst for knowledge. Don’t get me wrong, I like to learn, but I feel less inclined to question why the sky is blue, where babies come from, or how old Mr. Bonning actually is, questions that Won, age five, probably would not have hesitated to ask.

It bothers me that I cannot blame society for my problems, and my problems seem to actually stem from myself. As hard as it may be to believe, I have grown up since my illiterate days and time has taken a toll on the childlike wonder that once possessed me. And it’s not just me. We live in an age where Blackberry-loving adults far exceed candy-loving children. We live in an age where adults are embarrassed to

admit that Miley Cyrus actually has catchy tunes. We live in an age where teenagers try more than ever to remain ‘hip’ and ‘cool.’ The question is: why? We should act like children some-times. We should smile when we do some-thing stupid. We should point and jump ex-citedly when we see an airplane. We should count the infinite number of stars in a pitch dark night. Let’s all be children.

photo by Kirk Seaman ‘10

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PARENTS’ WEEKEND 2009

YosemiteScott Sinclair ‘12

There we were in Yosemite, Causing quite a calamity,Surrounded by peace and serenity.That place was epic, almost like a Chinese Dynasty.We hiked all day, we hiked all night,It didn’t matter if you were black or white.We didn’t do it because it was right,We didn’t do it because it was wrong,We did it because we loved it and we did it all day long.It wasn’t all hard work,There was always time for a smirk,Playin’ Stupid Ninja Time or bustin’ a rhyme.When the stars came out at night, shining away.It made me wanna stay,But on Friday, to Cate we must return,So that we may learn.But we always remember our time Back-packin’,No teacher’s yappin’,Just us mappin’ and,Me rappin’.

BookJason Park ‘11

Papyrus and mulberry barks, sliced thinWatered down and suspended on a screenInventive masterpiece of the Egyptians

Water drained through, leavingBehind a mat of interwoven fibersJust like a web a common arachnid might make

Sun-dried and rolledPerfect white, so pure, a canvasA sheet, a stack, enough for any idea

Black ink shaped clearly by a typist, or smeared by handMade history that October day, as Martin LutherWrote to Archbishop of Mainz protesting against the church

Starting the chain of events leading to the separationJust pieces of paper bound by strings, seemingly vulnerable to

Worldly harms, but the contents stronger than anything

The books of today are no different. The words still move readersAlthough they may look different withCovers of cardboard, heavy paper, leather,

Worn and torn by the touch of hundreds of readersOr millions, or billions, as generation after generationSeek hope and meaning in the all-time bestseller

The bible, the cause of both magnificent deeds and martyrdomAnd destructions, as crusaders marched across EuropeTo reclaim the Holy Land from “infidels”

Of course, books aren’t just paper, ink, the cover,It’s the letters, wordsMade up of twenty-six characters, the combination of which

Embodies meaning, creates the’s, have’s, you’s, love’s

Together, a message more powerful than anything.So powerful that the Chinese communists of the 1960sWearing all red and carrying the Little Red Book of MaoFelt it a necessity to destroy all the books containingAny ideas or messages supporting the old culture

Or picture Jefferson sitting in his small cottage home In Virginia, writing away with his feather pen, Declaring that all men are created equal

Claims that we all have the right to life, liberty,And the Pursuit of Happiness. July 4th, the standards are setFor human rights and independence of a new nation.

Homer, Dante, Shakespeare, Mark TwainMasters of words, giving delight with a stroke of the handThe seams, the papers, the words, the message. The book.

photo by Liana Corwin ‘10 photo by Annie Weis ‘12

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THEArts

Why I Should Get Into CollegeRohit Goswamy ‘10

It is a funny thing – genius. It rarely comes along, but when it does, it is some-thing of a miracle. You could say the list of genii is concise and brief – actually, there is only one. Now, at this moment, you may be wondering who that one person is or, perhaps, what a genii is. Well the answer to the latter part of my question to you is a response you probably don’t know because you haven’t ever seen the list before. Let me put this into a third-grader’s language so you can understand: a genii is a word that comes from Ro-man mythology and literally means a guardian of a place. So the one person on the list is not Einstein, not Newton, not even the great Galileo; rather it is someone who is far more superior in every aspect of life, an amalgam of all things good, a bridge between the heavens and middle earth, a more advanced force on this Earth, an intangible being. It is, in all modesty I swear, me. I couldn’t help but be created from the Gods themselves. And now that I have grown and can properly harness my powers, it seems that I am more powerful than them. So, with my ability to look into the future, I can tell that you are baffled. You ask yourselves, why would I even admit this student? That is not the true question; in actuality, now that I think about it, I should be asking myself: why would I want to go to your college? What good does it do me? Should I or should I not? Come to think about, you should write me an essay of why I should come. Please make it no longer than 100 words as I wouldn’t want to waste my time reading your incompetence. Together we can do great things. All you have to do now is convince me it is the right school.

Oh, I almost forgot, attach a $100 check to the envelope.

My Trip to FranceMegan Falvey ‘10

Last summer I went to France. Totally epic. When I got out of the airplane I was sooo scared, like “O my God!” I didn’t understand anyone and could not find my way to baggage claim, where I was told the rest of my program would be. Thank God the Ameri-cans were at baggage claim – the French were so rude! I knew the trip was going to be bad because all the girls on my trip were really weird, like really weird, and they were better then me at French! At least when I met my host family, I could tell they loved me cause they gave me two kisses on the cheek. Plus my French brother was really hot and had a dreamy accent! When I was there, I was definitely stretched outside my comfort zone. I had to eat gross food like liver, duck, and even frog legs! I missed hamburgers soooo bad! I got really homesick, but I couldn’t call my friends because of long distance charges. AT&T sucks. But even though it was really hard to get into the French way of life, there were a lot of great things that made me fond of being there. They had good pastries, bread that tasted palatable, cute cafés, and I got better at speaking French. The girls on my trip were okay too. They were a little idiosyncratic, but they really liked to hang out with me, so I let them. This taught me that I shouldn’t judge people. One night when I was with my French family we played charades. It was really fun, but I didn’t understand anything they were saying, so my side lost. I was really annoyed that they wouldn’t speak English with me, but after a while, things got better. My French did too. I learned that you can’t give up when the going gets tough. If I had made my French family speak English, then my French wouldn’t have gotten good. When I was about to leave France I got real nostalgic. I was going to miss it so much! France was a wonderful experience. In France, my horizons were expanded so much. It was as if fate had brought me to France and taught me that there is more to life than I thought. When I got home to America I was happy. I missed it so much when I was gone! But France was a sensational experience. I learned so much about French culture. In France the boys are really cute, they have good accents, French food is better than America, French people talk fast, the countryside is pretty, and most important of all – it taught me there’s no place like home.

Credit Cards Vivian Chen ‘11

Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its impor-tance to you.

An issue that has a big importance is the number of credit cards that exist out there in the world. There are just too many types of credit cards out there! How can any-one, including me, decide which one to use! It is a personal, local, national, and interna-tion issue, which is- obviously- why it is so important! I must say that I am getting more worried because the situation seems graver than I had expected as I think about this topic in my human brain. (Irregardless of all the people who do not have a credit card, this is still an important issue.) First of all, this is a personal issue because it is related to my hobby, of course! It is also a local concern because it concerns all my friends here at Beverly Hills! It is also a national concern because everyone has been saying what an awful economy the world is in right now. That has made a lot of people not able to get credit cards because of their debt! And obviously, this is a major international concern because JCB is a Japa-nese credit card, I think. I’m not sure what a JCB is, but you can, obviously, find out for yourself if you Google it. Because it is Japanese, it shows the internationality of this big problem. We must not discriminate against credit cards of other races. Anyways, because

What NOT to Write in a College Essay...

we are on the subject of credit cards, I should tell you that I am an aboslutely intellectual when it comes to credit cards. I know everything there is to know about them and I know how to use them, obviously! For all the proletariats (big word!) out there, let me enlighten (another big word!) you as to what credit cards the elites (ANOTHER big word! I’m on a roll!) use! All in-vitation only, of course! First of all, there is the ultimate classic: the American Express Centurion. And if you’re rich, you know that it’s nickname is the Black Amex! And its the credit card James Bond uses in Casino Royale, enought said! One of my favorites is the Citibank Ultima, which gives the cardholder, me!, exclusive access to a private island! Then there is the the Coutts & Co. World Card, which is a must have because Queen Elizabeth has one too! Plus, it rents a yacht for you even at the last minute! The Smith Barney Chariman’s Card is also ah-mazing because it rents private jets for you and helps you make reservations at exlusive restaurants- preferably triple-Michelin-starred of course! Finally, there is my favorite: the Bank of America Accolades. Because I am such a nice person, I always use this card since BoA will then match up in donations! And be-cause I am such an ah-mazing person and I adore doing charity, I am also going to donate a new gym to your school! Surely that will help me ensure a spot in your freshmen class next year! Be grateful, proletariats!

1�

Story of My Life

Death

Inspiration Procrastination The Process

Writer’s Block Depression

1�

THEArtsThe County Fair ConDrew Redmond ‘10

Almost every summer, my family and I take a trip to Maine in order to visit various aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and any other relatives we can manage to locate. We rent a small house on a lake where the activities of choice include waterskiing, tubing, squirt-gun fights, and (on occasion) a trip to the local bowling alley. But by far

the most exciting pastime was the Somerset county fair. Now this fair wasn’t your average run of the mill fairground with a Ferris Wheel and a merry-go-round; this was the kind of fair where all the locals would bring their trac-tors and see who could pull the most weight through a giant mud puddle; this was the kind of fair where the biggest, baddest ride was the Black Widow, a large mechanical contraption

that resembled a spider that lifted you up and down in a clockwise motion for about three minutes longer than necessary. This was the kind of fair where any Tom, Dick, or Harry could bring out a tent and a table in an attempt to scam the little kids out of their money. Unfortunately, at the age of ten, this was the portion of the fair that I was most attracted to. Now there was one guy who must have been doing this for quite a few years; his plan was fool proof and was guaranteed to have every kid within a three hundred yard radius flying towards him like moths to a bug lamp. Through all of the chaos and mess of the fair, there was this single tent that seemed to emit an aura of hope and happiness. At the center of this shaft of light from the heavens was a booth that had a sign above it with two words written in three foot tall, all caps, and block lettering. The sign read “Free Toys.” I didn’t think twice about the validity of the sign before making a mad dash for the tent, hoping there were still some free toys left for me. I arrived at the stall and, gasping for air, managed to ask the man where the free toys were. The man smiled as if he had just caught a prize-winning fish. He looked around his fifteen by fifteen canvas tent and pointed to a plethora of toys including stuffed Scooby-Doos and Spongebobs and scoot-

How to Be a WomanBrennan Cusack ‘11

Honeybees will sting when stepped on. Honeybees will sting when swatted at. Honeybees will sting when shaken in your cupped-together hands. Honeybees will die when they sting a human. We, of course, see ourselves as no threat to these buzzing twinkle-toes who surround the flowers, humming as if happy, as though when they finally return to their hives after lazily flitting about, drunk on sunshine, they will find their own baby bees waiting. But when they arrive, the honeyed workers remember they are solely infertile females whose job, whose duty, it is to forever protect the hive. Protect the Queen Bee. Protect the only one of them who will have children. Protect the one who will kill their brothers and lovers with a last seductive kiss after mating. For there are no fathers in this world, their hive is stuck the way we were stuck in WWII. Rosie the Riv-eters rising with the sun to work the flowers, mending, tending, protecting a family of sis-ters; and on a flower petal they dance, they waggle, they spin into eternity, they are calling all the other Betsys and Wilmas, Francies and Mables, Sallys and Esthers, to come and take a good hard look at all the flowers they found: pollen, wax, honey, but no babies. But I humanize them. I treat them as if they have thoughts. As if they have feel-ings. As if they care about whether or not they have babies. As if they aren’t the size of one of our eyes, of our pinky toe. Pinky toes flying about, being pushed by the summer breeze towards you, a human, who screams and screams and screams, arms flailing at this arthropod, this insect, this buzzing shell, this killer. So the honeybee stings. Well, you swatted at it didn’t you? What did you expect? And as it dies, the day’s pollen not yet delivered to its nest, you walk in your testosterone filled business shoes over to the mir-ror and pretend not to cry at your bloated cheek. Nobody looks at the honeybee. Nobody wonders, when it wriggles, that maybe it is wriggling out of pain. Nobody wonders if maybe it’s just one last waggle dance. Nobody wonders at all.

Rainy Days with Lunch LadiesJohannah Farner ‘12

For the most part, I liked my ele-mentary school. It was by no means amaz-ing, but my teachers were pretty good, my classes weren’t too big, and I had a lot of friends. The only problems I had were usu-ally related to either the lunch ladies or

the substitute teachers. These two groups of people seemed to have had a deep ha-tred for my fourth grade class and liked to take it out on us whenever the opportunity arose. More often than not, a day with a substitute would end either with the stu-dents or the teacher crying hysterically, and as the year progressed, we found our-selves faced with these monster substitutes less and less often. The lunch ladies, on the

“their idea of a Friday treat was listening to the same three Beach Boys

songs on endless re-peat.”

“this was the kind of fair where all the lo-

cals would bring their tractors”

“their hive is stuck the way we were stuck in

WWII”

other hand, were an issue that we had to deal with on a daily basis. There were four or five of these terrifying women who pa-

trolled the lunch area every day enforcing their ruthless law. All of them were huge, had hair dyed unnatural shades of red or blonde, and wore neon yellow construction vests. Each woman had a shrieking whistle around her neck, and their idea of a Fri-day treat was listening to the same three Beach Boys songs on endless repeat. Stu-dents were absolutely not allowed to talk during lunch time, and they always forced my class to pick up everyone’s half-eaten peaches and peanut butter coated sandwich bags after every lunch; trash pickup was a chore that was supposed to rotate through each class. Each lunch lady was known by us students for their unique habits—one would dig half eaten sandwiches out of the garbage can and offer them to students, an-other had awful breath. They enjoyed yell-ing at us, blowing their whistles into the cafeteria microphone, and assigning seats

so that no one was near his or her friends. Their methods of discipline were ineffi-cient, and we came to dread lunch as much as we anticipated morning recess when the teachers were on yard duty. The lunch la-dies were the sort of people who detested children. They were the sort of people who shouldn’t work at schools. Their most awful form of torture was rainy-day lunch. On rainy days, they locked us into the multi-purpose room for the full hour. The multi-purpose room was essentially a box that could fit three hundred people with large frosted windows on one wall, two rolling salad bars, and a grungy blue carpeted platform stage at the front. It served as a theater, a cafeteria, and a meet-ing place for large groups. By the time my class got to lunch, the marbled brown lino-leum tiles that we sat on were streaked with muddy rainwater and the lunch ladies were in worse moods than usual. It was impos-

sible to find a clean space to sit, the room smelled stale, and everyone was freezing. The floors squeaked against the wet rub-

ber of tennis shoes, the microphone let out a constant whine, and the tiles made very uncomfortable seats. Even though they must have been as miserable as us, none of these things kept the lunch ladies from taking us into a warm classroom. In-stead, we spent twenty minutes eating our lunches and forty minutes sitting in the cold multi-purpose room. According to the lunch ladies, we were not allowed to talk during lunch, which we all thought was ri-diculous, especially if they weren’t going to give us recess because of the weather. For some reason, we weren’t permitted to go to the bathroom either. The lunch ladies found reasons to yell at us for every action we took. Once, we started singing, and they made us write essays about how rude we were. We would do anything to get out of lunch on rainy days, including filing pa-pers for teachers or actually going to band practice. People started not turning in their homework when there was bad weather so that they could go after twenty minutes of multi-purpose room time to study hall with the unpleasant librarian . These rainy day lunches were the low points of my fourth grade year, and we hated them so much that it was actually a relief when, the next year, we had to sit crammed onto metal ta-bles under an awning that didn’t block the rain instead of in the awful multi-purpose room.

“The lunch ladies were the sort of people

who detested chil-dren.”

“we weren’t permitted to go to the bathroom

either.”

continued on p. 24 County

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PARENTS’ WEEKEND 2009

Balderdash (noun) (This is a real word! Credits to David Cran-dell)

What Cate students thought:-Similar to Ned Bowler’s head. The hair, in the event of negligence and inattention, decides to die and go to heaven which, unfortunately, leaves the person (in this case Bowler) with a shiny, glowing bald spot which can be used to refract light for an optimal at-tention-Race between bald men, established for the amuse-ment of those of us with hair.-Specifically applies to bald men. When a bald man must chase his wig down a street, that is a balderdash.

What it actually means:Senseless talk or writing; nonsense.ORA rapidly receding hairline.

Neologisms

Neologisms are newly coined words that may be in the process of entering common use but are not com-pletely accepted into mainstream language. Here are some neolo-gisms that are floating around in the world today and some Cate students’ attempts to define them.

Lactomangulation (noun)What Cate students thought:-The process of telepathically destroying food items con-taining lactose.-When one’s mammary glands strangulate one’s self. -The brutal murder of dairy cows.-A build up of lactose that occurs after the gallon chal-lenge, which usually results in some form of severe anal discharge.

What it actually means:Manhandling the “open here” spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the “illegal” side.

Karmageddon (noun)What Cate students thought:-When all of one’s pent up negative Karma decides to strike at once. Think of tripping down a cliff into a cactus bush to be attacked by bees that attract a man-mauling bear.-Life’s revenge in which all the sins committed by one sinner results in one massive painful event for the person -The end of the world for all the cruel people. All of the kind people get to have a dance party.-Fire-and-brimstone style end of days as the result of the all the collective bad karma of the human race. (Buddhism + Christianity)

What it actually means:End of the world due to a build up of bad-vibes.

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Entertainment

{cate by the numbers}Bryan Kim ‘10

6 Days in a row when all the freshman signed in successfully

1 Bill to abolish freshman sign in, proposed by 2 freshman senators

-5% chance Ahmed will vote yes on this bill, or any bill for that matter

7-9 days until early decision/early action applications are due, depending on the day

you read this paper 90% of seniors who said that they were “totes def applying early” at the beginning of the year

5% who are actually going through with it

Still at a 500% stress level

10 numbers in this article (excluding this part)

All in size 16 font

44% are percentages (excluding this one)

Therefore, this article stays on topic about 50% of the time

IvyKimwasspottedchat-tingitupintheDormof‘25.Rumorhasitthatsheisattemptingtodateeveryfreshmanboardingboyoncampus.Thepreviousrecordwassetbyagraduateoftheyear1981.Whenaskedaboutherstrategy,Ivyreplied,“SpeakinSpanishwhilstmakingsuremyhipsarenotly-ing.”Thepreviousrecordholderhow-everrecommended(inascribbleonabathroomstall)thatoneshould,“SpeakinLatinwhilemakingsuretoconjugateboththeverbsandthenouns.”Ivydoesindeedhavetheupperedge,asSpan-ishisadaughterlanguageofLatinandisconsideredoneofthemostromanticlanguagesintheworld.

Megan FoxVictoria Donovan ‘10

Megan Fox. MEGAN FOX. If you are a boy, those two words probably bring up mov-ing pictures of the radiant Miss Fox(y) leaning over a cruddy car telling Shia exactly how to tame the beast. (Google image searches phrased it in ways that would make Donna Dayton look twice). But, if you are a girl, you are gleefully cring-ing (you fake it on the outside, maybe even pretend to “go gay for Megan,” but inside that jeal-ousy is burnin’ up more than the JoBros). I want to sit down the casting directors of Trans-formers and ask them what they

were thinking. Their intentions were probably to give less-attractive men hope that they could, contrary to popular belief, get a dead-sexy babe like Megan. Oh, and that girl would also know everything about cars. (The fact that someone as hot as Megan would know that much about anything is so unlikely in itself that I can hardly handle it.) Do people only like her because she is pretty? Or is there something more behind those dark and mysterious waves...? Nope, nothing more. Even from her SNL clips, which usually bring out the more vulnerable, “funny” side of perfect people, Meg comes off as a totally standoffish female-dog. I guess anyone that dated a Russian stripper probably would be, though. Dream Fox. Love Fox. Live Fox.

Rumor MillBryan Kim ‘10

Therearenewconspiracy

theoriesthatDannySeigleisjustDavidSeiglepost-malehormonetherapy.Toquoteonetheorist,whowasalsowearingapinthatboldlystated“Firstclassisamindcontrollingdevice,”“Itjustcan’tbepossible-howcantherebetwoSeigles!?”Fortunately,malehormonetherapywearsoffafteraboutamonth.IfDannySeigleisactuallyDavidSeigle,heshouldsoonstartexhibitingsymptomsincluding,butnotlimitedto:constantAppletalk,dressinguplikeSteveJobstomakeassemblyannounce-ments,andconstantvisitstodorms(es-peciallythoseoftheoppositesex)underthepretenseof“internethelp.”

JoeGottwaldwasreportedlyseeninKoreatownattemptingtorecruitmembersforhisnewGerman-Koreanpop-fu-sionband“AngryYodelersoftheEast.”Theirsonglistallegedlycontainshitssuchas“Webothhadourangrydictators”,“Speakingloudlyinourrespectivelanguages”,and“Weactuallyhavenothingincommon,butthat’sokayintoday’smulti-nationalworld.”Theirfirst concert is slated to play in Novosibirsk, Russia,alocationthatisatthehalfwaypointforbothGermansandKoreans.Ironically,Novosibirsk is a secure Russian military base thathasonlyagreedtoletJoe’sbandplayaftertheywereshownagroupviewingof“HedwigandtheAngryInch.”LookslikeJoewillhavetosettleforpropsfromtheRussianMilitaryfornow.

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name:

claim to fame:

1. The greatest work of portrait art found on the Mesa is... a.the stern and philosophical Mr. Cate (bronze sculpture in the Johnson Lbrary) b.the jovial Mr. Cate (pencil drawing in the “Headmasters” series hanging in the McIntosh Room c.the ruggedly handsome and youthful Mr. Cate (oil painting in the McIntosh Room) d. the “Cowboy with a Bowtie” Mr. Cate (photo enlargement in the Admissions Office e. Polaroid photo of Ellen McGivern looking annoyed (found stuck to the bottom and jammed to the back of one of those big drawers in the art loft)

2. Mr. Anderson’s favorite art medium is: a. Puff paint b. honey c. Sawzall d. anything you can hot glue to anything else e. glitter

3. The artwork, currently on display at Cate, with the highest dollar value is: a.“Surf Sequence” by Ansel Adams, hanging in the Mudd Science Center foyer b. “San Juan Capistrano Mission” by Elmer Wachtel, hanging in the Faculty Room c. “Table Talk,” by Randy Person, stacked neatly in the Collins Collection (floor of office) d. “Holy Moley Batman” by Johnny Woolf, leaning neatly in the Collins Collection (against the office wall, next to the refrigerator) e. “Let’s Go, Man,” (cartoon rendition of ditch day, 1981) by Jonas Hamilton, stuffed neatly into the Collins Collection (desk drawer... the one full of letters and photos)

4. The professional-quality, expensive, and colorful Chartpak Ad multi-point markers used in Studio Art give off a delightful smell, which is: a. intoxicating b. non-toxic (or, to use a word that the writer of this quiz has just at this mo ment, in a stroke of linguistic near-genius, invented, here we go, brace your self, get ready, etc.: “nontoxicating”)

5. Acrylic yellow paint tastes like:

a. banana b. lemon c. yellow snow d. insecticide e. hmmm.... could it be.... mango?

6. Mr. Anderson’s studio is located on the mezzanine of the arts building. Most years, Mr. Anderson participates in a solo or group show in the Los Angeles area. Thus, we strongly suspect that Mr. Anderson is an artist. What do you think Mr. Anderson creates in his studio?

a. Zs. (He takes naps in there) b. animatronic minions c. Mystery d. he draws shoes a lot e. sculptures in fudge

7. The Cate Arts Department insists that all Foundation Arts students do a draw-ing of a shoe. Where do these shoes come from? a. snitched from outside the tatami room at a Japanese restaurant in SB b. collected from students and Music Academy summer residents by faculty dogs trained to do so

c. sorry to say: funeral parlors d. thrift stores e. cobbled together by elves, freed from their evil shoemaker master only to be imprisoned by the art teachers in the mysterious area at the bottom of the “other” art loft stairs, behind the locked door with the heavy metal screen and down the corridor that turns a corner so you can’t see where it goes... into the darkness... out of which comes the soft sounds of whimpers and moans, and a faint, high-pitched sobbing, along with the snap of little scissors cutting leather and the clink of tiny hammers nailing heels onto soles, night after night, year after year, so that each morning the required quota of shoes can be left outside the metal door in the hope that the teachers will leave enough of the thin gruel upon which the elves must subsist until they can produce another batch of shoes, for another meager meal, day after day, year after year, never growing old, never graduating or attending college...

8. The shortest amount of time actually spent by an Art Relay participant, ever, in producing a piece of work is: a. 1 hour by a songwriter b. 6 minutes and 1/1000 seconds by a photographer (1/1000th sec. to take the shot, and 6 minutes to print the picture...would have been 5, but the digital printer goes slowly for hi-res.) c. 53 minutes by a hot-glue collage-maker d. 0 minutes by a dancer (no prep, just freestyle the performance) e. 2 hours by one of those people who wandered around, found 5 objects, and arranged them near each other on a pedestal

9. True or true? When Cate was an all-boys school, the highest form of artwork created on the Mesa was made by drawing little pictures on successive pages of a textbook so that when the viewer riffled the pages the images would show in quick succession like a movie, creating the illusion of motion. The two subjects selected for this form of art, which through the genius of Cate students allowed artists to step beyond the limited world of the still image to enter the realm of truly four-di-mensional space/time, were, first “the perfect tube” (dude surfing a gnarly wave, dude) and “the perfect shot” (lacrosse).

( ) This is true (seriously) ( ) Oh yeah... that’s true (sarcastically) 10. In “The Potato Eaters” by Vincent VanGogh, the potatoes being shared by the desperately poor but lovingly close family of humble peasants are: a. boiled b. seasoned curly fries c. hash browns d. lovely small white potatoes, steamed, dressed lightly with extra-virgin olive oil and crushed fresh rosemary, then given a dusting of sea salt and coarse, fresh-ground pepper, the soft texture of the creamy potatoes combining with the crunch of the salt, the tang of the pepper, and the subtle bit of the pepper to create an all-consuming sensory experience that transports one, in memory or imagination, to a sunny afternoon in an Umbrian hilltown, warm sum mer breezes riffling through the vast fields of sunflowers, causing the blooms to sway together, like a crowd of people absorbed in watching some beautiful but unexpected sight, such as a colorful hot air balloon drifting by, or perhaps a strange and evocative bank of clouds, out of which a silvery craft emerges, reflective even beyond the brightness of the sun, as the air fills with a loud thrumming sound and the craft descends even closer to the surface of the land, a ramp sliding to touch the earth, allowing an unceasing swarm of insectoid beings to pour out, so quickly and in such numbers that there is no room between them, and, resembling a spreading pool of oil as the light glances off of their smooth dark carapaces, they trample the flowers into the ground as they spread outward, ever outward, in a great and growing mass and all you can do is run, I say, I shout, “run, run....!” e. garlic mashed

11. My grade on this quiz: a. A b. B c. C d. D e. F

Mr. Collins’ Mesa Art History Quiz

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Entertainment

Movies for Every OccasionHouston Bradley ‘11

Looking for a movie to watch with “the guys” and not feel guilty about not being outside actually do-ing something with your life? Directed by Phil Duffy back in 1999, Boondock Saints is just for you. A mod-ern day take on vigilantes, there is nothing wrong about two Irish brothers brutally laying waste to all the bad guys in their sight. Plus, watching William Defoe as a gay, Mozart loving, and outstandingly brilliant detec-tive is a combination that is truly fascinating. Next, whether you are a cowboy like Ian Ke-nally or just want to remember what the old West looked

like, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is a must watch classic. The aesthetic beauty of this movie is even more impressive when you take into consider-ation that it was made in 1969. In some of the late Paul Newman’s best work, the story of Billy the Kid and the Hole-in-the-Wall gang is the epitome of the real Wild West. Do not forget your roots though. Our generation was given a gift when Disney created The

Lion King. A great family, rainy day, or goofy movie to watch with friends, The Lion King is a perfect piece of digital magic. Not to mention that watching African animals break out into the catchiest songs ever com-posed is more than enough to turn any frown upside down. Lastly, let’s pretend that we are normal high school kids for a second and that we get to watch mov-ies with a special girl or guy friend on the comfort of a fluffy couch… I would recommend popping A Walk to Remember into the DVD player and seeing where things go. I personally cried when I watched Mandy Moore battle high school life and leukemia at the same time, but being able to hold the hand of a pretty girl was comforting enough to let the tears fly. Ladies, test those ‘studly’ men out with this Andy Shankman tear jerker, or guys, show your sensitive side when you surprise that beautiful princess with a movie they never thought you would be into watching.

Where the Wild Things AreChristian Lowe ‘10

Where the Wild Things Are is a movie that challenges the way in which you perceive your own life circumstances. In a society where a route of destruction is often taken as a result of frustration and anger, many people are left in isolation, cut off from family and those who love them. This movie explores the story of a boy who deals with the conflict of loneliness. Who doesn’t like to run around, scream, and attack your own dog with a fork in hand? Max does. At a young age, Max has always believed that he can con-quer the world. But when his life suddenly takes a turn and he no longer feels loved by

Boo, You Horror!

his family, he resorts to a fantastical world of monsters cultivated from his own imagi-nation. His mind takes him to a whole new realm in which he calls the shots as king of the monsters. However, as Max soon dis-covers, his fantasy world isn’t as perfect as he once thought. The film version of this classical children’s story is humorous and at times a little scary. In one moment, you are led to believe that the monsters are Max’s friends, but in the next, you find yourself sitting at the edge of your seat in honest fear. This movie not only expands on the original children’s book, but it is also a cinematographic success. If you are look-ing for a movie that will force you to think about what it means to be angry, react, and forgive, then I suggest Where the Wild Things Are regardless of your age.

Across 2 Vampire4 Its wet and spooky and floats5 Senior boy dating freshman girl8 What you call a loved one9 Some can be scary with or without it10 Willy Kellogg’s 2008 Halloween costume12 A certain bloodsucker’s title14 Torture curse17 Thin animal skin18 Hairy cousin21 Day before early applications are due22 How to get candy24 They don’t die27 First used by Shakespeare28 Used for air travel29 A nice wizard30 Found in the dungeon31 Remains of a dead body33 It’s red and contains this protein35 It marks the buried36 They are under your bed (unless its lofted)37 This metal bullet will do the trick38 RDP is obsessed with this39 Rhymes with a b-word you aren’t supposed to say

Down1 It’s dark and scary and lacks venitilation!3 Mexican flying mouse4 Chompers5 Cook some brews in it6 When computers are useless to seniors7 In thunder, lightning, or in this11 Mr. Cate’s haunts the library12 3^2 the ticket (to destroy it)13 He sports construction materials15 Brown Eyed Girls magic song16 They won’t save you but they taste good19 Magic number20 I’m a _____, duh!23 Covered the last one25 We study them in art history26 A scary promiscuous person32 Robert Fairbanks dresses like this34 Why so Sirius?36 Is it half full?

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PARENTS’ WEEKEND 2009

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

With your confidence and a bit of luck, you are invin-

cible! Put on your best smile and display your strong

confidence. Don’t mind the nasty people trying to ruin

your day. Today will be just too good to be true!

HoroscopesSarah Park ‘11

Aries (March 21 – April 19)Tell me your wish, Aries. I am your Genie and I can tell you that you are going to get just

about anything you want today whether it is love, success

or money. Just say “Abraca-dabra!”

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)Focus, focus, focus! It is

somewhat understandable to doze off in class but beware:

the hawk-eyed teacher will not let you get away with it. Go out and have fun, but make

sure to get some sleep in order to avoid unnecessary punish-

ments.

Gemini (May 21 – June 21)Sorry Gemini. It seems like

NOTHING will work out for you today. Don’t demand your parents for anything ‘cause it will only cause dispute. Don’t

even try to make it better, because the harder you try the more you will fail. Get some

food and cry yourself to sleep.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22)Love hurts, Cancer. Take a

break this week and stay away from your secret crush. Your crush will come closer, but

only to end up crushing your dreams of a relationship.

Lio (July 23 – August 22)What happened to your cour-age and bravery? It seems like

you’ll need some help from the Wizard of Oz. Just follow the yellow (or red) brick road – it will lead you to where you

need to be.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Let others hog all the credit today – you’ll get yours soon enough! It’s hard for you to

show what you’re capable of when the people around you don’t want to deal with an

inflated ego.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You might not have enough money for what you want to buy, but that’s OK. Why not

ask your never-empty purse…I mean PARENTS to show you

some love?

Scorpio (October 23 – Novem-ber 21)

Today is the kind of day that seems to stretch on for much longer than you want it to.

Relax, Scorpio, and let the day pass you by. Watch a movie, take a nap, or shop. Shop ‘till

you drop.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You might not have felt your best physically or emotionally, but this weekend is your time

to partay!!! … With none other than your very own parents.

Aquarius (January 20 – Febru-ary 18)

Watch out, Aquarius. Some-one’s out to get you, so make sure to stay away from those

who may possibly hold a grudge against you. Beware: this is not going to be very

pretty.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You had so much fun at the beginning of the week that you

might have not understood why everyone else didn’t feel the same way. Don’t lecture

or judge because your careless actions might come back and

haunt you this weekend.

ers and giant dogs and miniature guitars and told me “ALL of these toys are free.” I nearly fainted right then and there. Trying to maintain a professional composure and hold in the supernova of excitement inside me, I calmly asked, “Is there a limit on how many I can take?” You could tell he had heard this question many times before and replied “All you have to do is buy a slip of paper that you pull out of this jar here and then you can pick your FREE toy.” The man pulled out a large mason jar filled with pieces of paper folded in half, each of which had an individual letter printed on them. “Once you pick a piece of paper, you get a free toy with the corresponding letter!” I was confused and told the man that I didn’t really want to buy the piece of paper and that I would rather just take the free toy and be on my way. He quickly replied, “Oh no, if you don’t pick a piece of paper you won’t know which toy you are supposed to pick!” I immediately forked over the five

County continued from p. 18

Editors-in-chief: Joe “Mama” Gottwald and Sarah “Teacher’s Apple” AppletonCopy Editor: Harley “Sugardaddy” SugarmanPhoto Editor: Sarah “Motherly Love” MartzloffBusiness Manager: Vivian “Child” ChenDirector of Technology: Steven “Big Brother” Blasberg

Features: Eleanor “Baby Eyes” Bennett and Ivy “Kissy Face” Kim Opinion: Kate “Cargo” DonahueScience & Nature: Liana “Trip to Carp” CorwinLifeStyle: Bryan “My Kindred” Kim The Arts: Lexi “Lunch on the Grass” GreenwaldEntertainment: Karolyn “PDA” ParkFeaturered Photographers: Kel Mitchel, Libby Parker, Ximena San-tiagoFacutly Advisors: Anna Fortner and Ross Robins

Layout Editor: Christian Lowe

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dollars for a piece of paper and hoped with all my heart I would get a slip with the letter ‘A’ on it: the letter associated with all of the big prizes. I pulled out a slip and opened it and there was a big fat ‘J’ lookin’ me dead in the face. I was disappointed that it wasn’t an ‘A,’ but I was still excited to see what my free toy was. I saw a conniving grin form on the man’s face when he saw that I had chosen a ‘J.’ He led me over to the section contain-ing all of the ‘J’ prizes. There, sitting on a shelf, was an assortment of key chains with various small farm animals attached to them. I reluctantly picked the one with a cow and began my journey back to my parents. I walked away from that tent of shimmering hope and wonder, past the Black Widow and around the tractor pulling contest, to the rodeo arena where I would have to explain to my parents why I had a cow keychain instead of a hamburger, fries, and a shake.

Cate School1960 Cate Mesa Rd.Carpinteria, CA 93013