mums tots&IRELAND’S FAVOURITE MATERNITY MAGAZINE

Embracing Life - Pregnancy to Parenting

PURE IRISH

ISSN 2009-437X

Snow Crafts with Craftea + Snow Art with Don ConroyTHE WEDGE!

A winter must-have!

++ Win! 1 Night in The Burlington & Jedward tickets ++

Spots and Stripes for Trendy Tots

Annabel Karmel’s Cosy Cooking

Extended Breastfeeding: How long is too long?

RecaptuRe that pRegnancy glow with Giorgio Armani Cosmetics

ExclusivE:

Top Activities for MAternity LeAve

Bed Time Battles

The Importance of Play with Anne O’ Connor

5

www.mumsandtots.ie

All About: Win!Spa Pamper Package worth €350

the Down Syndrome Centre

ISSUE 05 WINTER 2012/2013 €3.00

It’s time to Glo

The GloHealth plan range includes our core plans, which are our Good, Better and Best plans. We also have two higher level premium plans, Ultra and Ultimate, which provide greater benefi ts than the Best plan, and one entry level plan, known as our Basic plan. GloHealth Financial Services Ltd trading as GloHealth is regulated by the Central Bank of Ireland. GloHealth health insurance policies are underwritten by Great Lakes Reinsurance (UK) Plc. Great Lakes Reinsurance (UK) Plc is authorised by the Financial Services Authority in the United Kingdom and is regulated by the Central Bank of Ireland for conduct of business rules. Terms and conditions apply.

Switch NOW, call us on 1890 744 744 or visit GloHealth.ie

You deserve the Best! Get great cover for public and private hospitals on the Best plan.

Plus your kids are FREE till 3.

Best Plan_M&T_FP.indd 1 26/10/2012 11:01

Welcome!

EditorRoberta von Meding

Editor: Roberta von Meding Graphic Designer: Juliet Symes

Cover Image: Shutterstock Contributers: Annabel Karmel, Anne O’Connor, Therese Handibode, Joanie Reilly, Don Conroy, Orla Walsh, Mothercare

Published by: Juliet Publishing Printed By: Quinn’s

Contact us: editor@mumsandtots.ie or call +353 85 703 1181 Facebook: www.facebook.com/mumsandtots

All rights reserved. Every care has been taken to ensure that the information contained in this magazine is accurate. The publishers cannot, however, accept responsibility for errors or omissions. Reproduction by any means in whole or in part without the permission of

the publisher is prohibited. © Juliet Publishing 2012. Please note all discounts, special offers and competitions contained in this magazine are run independently of Mums & Tots, and therefore the promoter is responsible for honouring the prize. All opinions expressed in this

magazine are not necessarily those of the publisher or Editor. Medical articles and opinions are not a substitute for your doctor’s advice. All prices are correct at time of print.

Hello and

subscribeto get Mums & Tots delivered to your door.

Only €16 for an annual subscription at www.mumsandtots.ie

www.mumsandtots.ie

Brr it’s cold out there! We hope you enjoy this wintery read bundled up on the couch while the kids are all tucked up in bed. It has been a busy few months in the von Meding household with the arrival of Robyn in August, and Juliet (2.5 years) entering that, ‘I can do it myself’ phase and the discovery of the word, ‘No!’. For those of you with 2+ year olds, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Trying to be a wife, mum and Editor all at the same time can be a challenge - but success! Another magazine is here!

Every mum has been there, the count from tooth numero 1 to the final pearly white! It’s such a gruelling time for the whole family when baby is about to sprout another tooth. We have some excellent advice for you on the whole teething process, page 38 and the very best teethers available, page 40, with lots of fab giveaways from; Mama Jewels, Teething SOS and Sophie the Giraffe.

We have some great articles in store for you including a piece by charity, Down Syndrome Centre of Ireland, and some real mum stories from mummys who have children with Down syndrome too, their experiences and every day life, page 22 and page 24.

For our breastfeeding readers, or those considering breastfeeding, how long is too long to breastfeed and why? Get the facts on extended breastfeeding from Therese Handibode, page 50. We would love to hear your feedback on this one so if you have a particularly strong point of view either way, please email us at hello@mumsandtots.ie.

School work and educational activities are important for a growing tot but play is also an essential element in any toddler’s development. Rollercoaster.ie’s Anne O’Connor outlines all the benefits of unstructured play time; social, mental and physical. Look out for our top toy buys too this season on page 60-61.

Don’t miss our ever expanding arts and crafts section pages 92-94, with Craftea crafts and Drawing with Don Conroy, for some very cute seasonal activities, including making your very own snow soap.

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year! See you in the spring!

3mums&tots

inboxThank you for sending us your funny stories! We loved reading them! Here are a few

of our favorites //

If you have a funny pregnancy, toddler or baby story that you would like to submit for the spring issue of Mums & tots please send 50-10 words to competitions@mumsandtots.ie with ‘funny story’ in the subject box.

Congratulations Sheila Byrne! You are the winner of this gorgeous Oban changing bag from Pacapod.

Dear Mums & Tots,Our little boy is going on three and most of the time he is as good as gold. When things get a little heated, we like to use a thinking spot which really works. We use a kitchen timer for the length of time he should be sitting and thinking. So, one day as we were about to ship out to his aunts place, we heard the timer go off. It kept beeping until we finally managed to find it.  It magically found it’s way half ways down the washing basket we had put into the porch and were about to take it across town. When we asked him how it got there, he was quite amused but we never really found out how exactly the timer made it’s way all the way down that basket! - Nina Histon

Dear Mums & Tots,All day I had a weird feeling that my waters were breaking slowly. I thought I was imagining things as Ella was not due for another day. After doing a big grocery shop, we walked back to the car. My fiance dropped a carton of eggs. All I could do was stand there and laugh. I thought I had wet myself laughing but found out later that evening that is wasn’t the laughter but my waters had actually broken and Ella was born on her due date.- Natasha Quinn

Dear Mums & Tots,Anyone who knows the semi-private clinic in Holles Street will know exactly what I am talking about, as you walk into the clinic you are greeted by a lovely mid wife saying, ‘make sure you all have your wee samples in your hand’, so you end up in a queue with all the other lovely blooming mothers waiting to be weighed, with your wee in one hand and your chart in another. So there I am, standing in the queue, when in the distance I see my ex-boyfriend coming towards me. Now I have to add I am a happily married woman pregnant on my third child and him a happily married man. Maybe he won’t see me but who I am I kidding, I am standing there in a confined space heavily pregnant. His wife stops to talk to someone and he sees me, smiles and walks over to me. We exchange niceties but all the while I am thinking, I am standing here with my wee in my hand. Then the mid wife calls me up to be weighted, my ex stands there and decides to wait for me. Up I go onto the scales an’d she says, ‘Oh! Mammy you are putting on a lot of weight now - you had a high BMI to start with, now we don’t want that creeping up.’ Mortification is not the word! - Tara O’ Flaherty

Dear Mums & Tots,My baby is currently in the neonatal unit in Holles St. as she was born 12 weeks early. The first day that we were put in charge of a tube feed we basically just had to stand there and hold a test tube of milk. My husband was holding the tube and started flicking and shaking it to make the milk flow faster. The nurse came running over in a panic saying, ‘stop stop, the milk is going too quick you will make her tummy swell’. My husband in all his wisdom replied ‘but that’s how I do it with the calves’! - Sheila Byrne

STar LeTTer

6 mums&tots

Baby’sSHoPPinG LiSt

Helping to nourish growing babies for

over 30 years.*

IMPORTANT NOTICE: Breastfeeding is best for your baby. Always consult your doctor, midwife, public health nurse or health visitor for advice about feeding your baby. It is important that you clean your baby’s teeth after the last feed at night. *Use as part of a healthy, balanced weaning diet. Milupa milks cereals contain sources of Iron with vitamins A, B, C and D.

milupa.ie

DNBB486-Blocks-MumsTots-A4-V1.indd 1 30/10/2012 12:33

Win! we have one Burt’s Bees set up for grabs. email your contact details to competitions@mumsandtots.ie with ‘Burt’s Bees’ in the subject box.

Kala Bowls, €1.35, Pack of 6, IKEA

Sophie la Giraffe, 1st hours set, €68.29, Alex & Alexa

Beaba First Stage Spoon Set, €18.99, Bella Baby

My Little Box of Boo Boos, €24.99, Bella Baby

B is for Bear Hooded Bath Towel and Mit Set, €15, All Things Baby

Hat and Mitts Set, €17, Mamas & Papas

Red and Blue Bib Set, €4.25, IKEA

Art Set, €7.25, IKEA

The Hungry Caterpillar Learning Set, €7, Mamas & Papas

All Mine - Breakfast Set €31, Mamas & Papas

Cowshed Baby Cow Set, €26, House of Fraser

BamBam First Hand and Footprint Set, €11.38, Alex & Alexa

Waleda Mini Baby Pack, €14.95, Health Express20 Piece Train Set, €10, IKEA

Ready, Set, GoNeat, compact + all together we love sets

8 mums&tots

news top products

Here are some of M&Ts favourite snaps of your little ones. If you would like your tot’s picture featured in our Spring Issue please send to competitions@mumsandtots.ie

Peek a Boo Candid Tots

sponsored by Wellkid

The winner of our

winter issue is Sinead

MCMahon! Well

done! You have won

a keyboard from

Mothercare.

Julia O’Leary

Eamon Delany

Abigail Daly

Tadhg O’Shea

Lauren O’Regan

Adam McGuane

Lauren Hanrahan

Sinead McMahon

Selma Mesinovic Sophie Mackin

16 mums&tots

win!Send us a snap of your most

candid tot moment and

Closing date for entries is the 21st January 2013. Put ‘Candid Tots

Spring’ in the subject box along with your contact details.

this yummy hamper from Kelkin

Mia Legge

Megan ReeceLucy Toolan

Liam Toolan

Leah McKenzie

Joey+Amber Lilly Histon

Jake O’Callaghan

Israel Booth

Gabriella Fasakin Dermody

Brooke Byrne

Aoife Mescal

Anna Toolan

17mums&tots

Sharon Dagg, Chief executive of the Down Syndrome Centre, gives us the facts.

Down syndrome is a genetic condition that is caused by the occurrence of an extra copy of the 21st chromosome in all or some of the cells of the body. This condition occurs in approximately 1 in every

540 births in ireland, which is the highest rate currently in europe. although 80% of babies born with Down syndrome are born to mothers under the age of 35, a women’s chance of having a baby with Down syndrome does increase with age. There are about 5,500 people in ireland living with Down syndrome, however this figure is increasing as women are postponing parenting until later in life.

TheDown Syndrome

Centreisabell + cass

18 mums&tots

community focus

a child living with Down syndrome is extremely affectionate and loving, however with this syndrome can comes various common health issues:

• HeaRiNG iMpaiRMeNT: Glue ear or wax impaction is very common and needs to be monitored carefully as it could severely compromise speech development if not detected at an early age.• VisiON: most common problems lie in short and long sightedness and squinting which occur at an early stage in development with approx. 50% of people with Down syndrome wearing glasses. The majority of children have problems focussing on near tasks even with the use of glasses.• HeiGHT aND weiGHT: Height in a person with Down syndrome is generally 2% less than the general population with overweight being more recognised in children from as early as 7 years of age due to a lower metabolic rate than their peers.• HeaRT: children are at a much higher risk for congenital heart disease. as a comparison, the incidence of congenital heart disease in the general population is 0.8% whereas the incidence of congenital heart disease in children with Down syndrome is between 40 – 60%. some defects can be left alone with careful monitoring while others require surgery to correct the problem.

The ChariTyThe Down syndrome centre was founded in 2002 after it’s founder peter Gaw, who has two children of his own living with Down syndrome felt the same frustrations as many other parents in not being able to access an adequate level of service within ireland that was necessary to aid his children’s development. Over the last few years the charity has been raising funds to go towards purchasing land and developing a state of the art centre that would provide services and facilities to parents and carers of children living with Down syndrome.

During this period the necessity in providing a Down syndrome Liaison Nurse throughout the Dublin Maternity hospitals became very evident and some funds were diverted towards this very worthy role. angela scanlon has been working with parents of new borns who have been diagnosed with Down syndrome from birth stage to the first 15 months of their lives. Her role has been invaluable to so many parents who have suddenly been thrown into a world of uncertainty, not knowing what lies ahead and what to expect in the future. she has been able to reassure parents that their new baby will be able to live and embrace life like every

other child, with a little extra help and just at a slower pace.

“we were in contact with angela from very soon after Julianne was born. she offered great support. she would contact us regularly and see how we were getting on. we had a lot of feeding issues, and had lots of hospital appointments which were very stressful and her support was invaluable. she was a great listening ear and offered great advice and help in understanding and educating us on the special requirements Julianne may have. we feel it would have been a much more difficult time had she not been there to assist us.”- D McNamara – parent of Julianne

The New CeNTreThis year looks to be the year where all our efforts will come to fruition as we have changed our direction in purchasing land and instead decided on leasing a prime site to start up our new centre and have it up and running sooner, fingers crossed we

hope to be in situ by the end of 2012.

Our ethos is that every child born with Down syndrome, who has access to the correct services and tools required in their early development is able to reach their full potential. The Down syndrome centre’s aim is to provide these services to parents and carers to help develop a knowledge and understanding of this intellectual disability. we also want to portray the positive outcomes available to children born with Down syndrome.

we are looking at setting up the centre to provide the following in the centre:

• speech Therapy• Occupational Therapy• physiotherapy• seminars & workshops led by leading specialists from various professional backgrounds.• continuous funding of our Down syndrome Liaison Nurse• Networking opportunities for parents and carers.

19mums&tots

community focus

NEW

2012/ADV/CAL/059

CaldeSpray from the makers of Caldesene.Contains Zinc Oxide. ALWAYS READ THE LABEL. For cutaneous use only.

ClonMedica is the OTC division of Clonmel Healthcare.

The no mess,no fuss solution to nappy rash.

The no mess,no fuss no fuss solution solution

nappy rash.

No Mess, No Fuss

Spray

From the maker’s of

Date prepared: October 2012

CaldeSpray Ad A4.indd 1 23/10/2012 16:20

fOR fuRTHeR iNfORMaTiON 01 6618000sharon@downsyndromecentre.ie

cHecK OuT OuR weBsiTe www.downsyndromecentre.ie www.facebook.com/downsyndromecentre

• funding of our comprehensive and informative website by leading international experts.• Daily respite • Resource facilities, library etc.

we would love to hear from any parents that feel we should be including any other facilities relevant to their child’s need, this is a centre that we want families to fee l is “Home” from “Home”, a place to avail of services, meet other parents and embrace the needs of the whole family unit and not just the child with Down syndrome.

FuNDraiSiNgTo implement the above the charity needs to increase its fundraising, as we receive no Government funding so rely solely on the generosity and support from the general public. in these times this is proving more and more difficult, however the generosity of the irish has never ceased to amaze us.

we will be looking towards corporate sponsorship to help fund any of the three Therapists working in the centre as well as general fundraising for the rest of the facilities, website, seminars and the increases incurred in the overall running costs.

Various events are run throughout the year, our main signature event being “Buy My Dress” where women throughout ireland donate a once loved dress to the charity which is then sold on at a one day charity Dress sale held in various locations around ireland.

we hold a ladies “Laughternoon” lunch at christmas which is always a fun event to attend with a group of girlfriends or work colleagues. This year it is being held in the Radisson Hotel, stillorgan on 14th December.

However we are now appealing to the general public to support the centre by running an event, no matter how small it is, we are always extremely appreciative. a few ideas to suggest:

• Hold a coffee morning or small fundraising event• ask your local school to run a fundraiser or choose the charity for Holy communion or confirmation donations.• Run in one of your local marathons or organise a sponsored event ie: sponsored walk with buggies. • ask your company to choose us as their charity of the year.• complete a monthly standing order.

Katie Cleary

Aedin Collins

Poppy LongmoreBen McAra Baxter

Ella Horton

20 mums&tots

community focus

To truly know understand the nutritional background to pregnancy,

it’s important to understand the changes that occur in a pregnant woman’s body.

weight gain throughout the pregnancy period can be expected as many of the body’s compartments grow. for example, on average a woman’s womb increases from 46g to 1000g, her breast volume increases by a remarkable 50% and even the amount of blood circulating through her body increases by 1600ml. That’s a total weight gain of at least 2.7kg (nearly 6lbs!) and we haven’t even considered the baby and the amniotic fluid yet!

The muscle in the gut relaxes from about week 10. This can have an effect on appetite and can dull sensations which may lead to cravings or aversions to foods that were regularly eaten. commonly women may experience acid reflux which results in heart burn, delayed stomach emptying, as well as slower bowel transit resulting in less regular bowel movements. Hormones play a large role in the changes experienced like disinterest in food (for some!), nausea, vomiting and increase saliva production, particularly in early pregnancy. it may be considered morning sickness and that it happens early on in pregnancy but in reality 80% of women experience it all day long and 50% beyond the 1st trimester.

so now that we know what may occur, how can we remedy it

NutritionWords by Dietitian, Orla Walsh.

Weight Gainabout 7-10kg is the baby and the increase in your body’s tissues, but total weight gain, including fat gained through pregnancy, will depend on what weight you were when you fell pregnant. Discuss appropriate weight gain for you with your Gp, midwife or with a Dietitian.

Iron deficiency Lean red meat is the best source of iron in the diet. aim to eat 3-4 portions per week

Beans, eggs, apricots, prunes, figs, spinach and broccoli also contain iron. eaten with some foods contain vitamin c will help them to be absorbed into the body, for e.g. citrus fruit and potatoes

some foods such as cereals, milk and tea interfere with the absorption of iron. if you’re taking an iron supplements, do not take it directly after a breakfast of cereal, milk and a cup of tea

Constipationinclude high-fibre foods in the diet (fruit, vegetables and wholegrains)

increase fluid intake (aim for pale urine)

and if possible, get regular physical activity

Heartburnavoid lying down immediately after eating

sleep with the head slightly elevated to avoid acid reflux

consume small, frequent meals

avoid known irritants, such as caffeine, chocolate, or highly seasoned foods

Food cravings and aversionsDelay: wait at least 10 minute before giving in!

Distraction: run a bath, read a book, phone a friend

Distance: go for a walk, choose a room further away from the kitchen

Morning Sicknesseat small, frequent meals

avoid offensive odors and strong cooking smells

Drink plenty of fluids

Get some fresh air

Go for plain food rather than rich, high salt, high flavour food

Listen to your body…. if you don’t think you could tolerate it, try a different food!

in Pregnancy

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

34 mums&tots

mums & bumps nutrition

EMERGENCY

ONE MILLION CHILDREN AT RISK……. DONATE NOW …….

Moustapha is 2 years old and is suffering from severe malnutrition. He is receiving special high calorie therapeutic food and essential medicines provided by UNICEF.

We urgently need your help to save over 1 million children just like Moustapha, who are at risk of severe malnutrition in 8 countries across the Sahel region of Africa. UNICEF is now in a race against time to prevent a wide-scale emergency like the one seen in East Africa last year when thousands of children died needlessly.

Please give what you can today.

€30 can provide a child with a monthʼs supply of therapeutic food – a vitamin enriched peanut paste that has been specially developed to treat acutely malnourished children.

€58 can provide 1000 sachets of oral rehydration salts to help children combat dehydration.

1850 767 999 www.unicef.iePLEASE GIVE NOW - THANK YOU

You can also post a donation to: UNICEF Ireland, Freepost, 33 Lower Ormond Quay, Dublin 1. Please make your cheque/postal order payable to UNICEF Ireland.

UNICEF Ireland | Charity No: 5616 | Company No: 371124

© U

NIC

EF/C

had/

2012

/CTi

dey

CRISIS IN THE SAHEL

Things To do on MaTerniTy LeaveWOrDS by THereSe HaNDIbODe

Top5

The first few weeks after having a baby can be a blur. between nappy changing, feeding, burping and bathing, your front door rotates with well wishers. Once things have settled down and baby is in a good routine, many mums can find themselves stuck in the house, missing adult company. While 26 weeks of maternity leave might sound like an eternity when you are walking out the office doors, it can pass by in the blink of an eye. When they are back to work lots of mums are left with regrets that they didn’t do more when they were off work. These days there are plenty of options available to get out and about, while including your baby.

36 mums&tots

babies

Baby MassageMost of us love to be massaged, and babies are no different. Massage has been shown to help babies who suffer from colic and it is thought to increase a baby’s immunity to illness. Babies are more content with massage, cry less and sleep better. it can also stimulate a baby’s senses, assisting in brain development. while massaging your baby, you will both release the hormone oxytocin, which is the feel good hormone. This results in a unique bond forming with your baby, and can help any mum suffering from post-natal depression. a gentle massage prior to bedtime every night is a lovely way to introduce a routine and prepare your baby for a good rest. The cost of baby massage classes varies greatly depending on the instructor and the venue, but most courses tend to cost between €100 and €200 and run over 4 to 6 weeks. Due to the associated health benefits, many health insurance providers now cover the cost of baby massage classes. The oils should be provided by the instructor, and should be suitable for use on a baby’s sensitive skin. it is advisable for mum to wear comfortable clothes, as she will be on the floor while massaging her baby.

for more information and a class near you, see www.babymassageireland.com

SwimmingBabies love the water, and they can be introduced to swimming as early as six weeks. some swim schools, however, will insist that babies are a little bit older.

while they won’t be able to swim on the surface until around 3, babies will be able to swim short distances underwater independently. The sooner they get used to the water, the less

chance they have of ever developing a fear. swimming is great for their physical development as the water allows a baby to use their muscles without the constraints of gravity. The time spent in the water allows for a great bonding opportunity too. it is possible to bring your baby by yourself to your local pool, providing it is warm enough. when your baby is younger than six months, they will need to swim in a pool heated to a minimum of 32 degrees. Buy disposable swimming nappies or invest in a reusable water nappy. if you

prefer the structure of a course, there are many specialist companies in operation now. see the following websites for more information:

www.waterbabies.ie

www.babysplash.ie

www.aquababies.ie

Play Classesplay classes are a great way to encourage your baby’s social development, along with their mind and body. These courses support learning with games, songs and stories. Babies will thrive on the interactive floor time with mum and they will have the opportunity to watch and socialise with other babies. each class will be grouped according to your baby’s age, so that the lesson can be tailored for their stage of development. some courses are even suitable for babies as young as six weeks. These classes will provide a good opportunity to meet other mums, and some even allow a forum for discussion at the end of the class. There are many different groups around the country that approach this theme differently, from gymnastic based classes, to music focused groups, there is something for everyone. a preview class can normally be arranged before a term of classes has to be paid for, so you can pop along to a few until you find the one which works best for you and your baby. Do remember to dress comfortably though, as you will probably be required to get down on the floor with your baby.

The following websites are just a few samples of the classes available:

www.claphandies.com

www.playandmusic.ie

www.thelittlegym-eu.com

Fitness GroupsOnce your baby is six weeks old and you have the go ahead from your doctor, exercise is a great way to lift your spirits, increase your energy levels and get rid of any excess “baby weight”. it can be hard, however, to

find the time for any sort of fitness regime, and many mums struggle to get back to

their pre-baby shape. fitness instructors around the country have recognised this need and many schools are now running classes suitable for new mums that accommodate baby. This environment can help with your confidence as you are with other women at the same stage as yourself. exercise routines will be specifically designed for a post-natal body, focusing on toning and strengthening core muscles. classes will usually run during the day so that you can bring your baby. Depending on your own preference, you can choose anything from boot-camp style classes outdoors to a more relaxed approach, such as yoga. There are also yoga classes available for both mother and baby, and these are usually suitable from the time your baby is six weeks old. yoga has been shown to improve a baby’s digestive health, aid sleep, and is a great way for a new mum to de-stress. The cost of classes varies greatly depending on the type of class selected. where money is tight, it is always possible to put on your runners, pack up the buggy and find other mums in your area to go walking with, at no cost.

www.bumpbabyandbeyond.com/yoga-ireland

www.bootcampformums.ie

Movie Clubspreviously having a baby meant having to wait until a movie went to DVD before you could see it. Thankfully many cinemas now have a screening where babies are welcome to attend, allowing mums the chance to do just that. These shows will have dimmed lighting and a lower volume so that it is a calmer environment for little ones. as these screenings cater for mum and baby, there is no issue with your baby crying during the movie, and baby changing facilities will be provided on site. screenings will typically be on weekdays, either in the morning or early afternoon, and babies will always attend free of charge. Ticket prices are usually lower than general admission prices, and sometimes even include a tea or coffee.

see the following websites for further information about a movie showing near you:

www.movies-at.ie/dundrum/reelparents

www.uci.ie/fanatic/newbies/

www.eyecinema.ie

1

2

3

45

37mums&tots

babies

Separation

a stage in baby’s development that every mum encounters within the first year. Director of alpha Counselling, Joanie

reilly, gives us the reasons a baby feels anxious at being separated from its parents and what can be done to help this difficult

transition.

anxiety

52 mums&tots

babies

i smile remembering when my little twin nephews came to stay overnight while

their parents had a break. as they were being handed over, their parents taught us the little jingly rhyme ,“Down at the railroad..,”, that they used to sing to their boys from a very early age. as the twins lived far away, they did not know us very well, and it was a big thing for them to suddenly be separated from daddy and mummy. even though we supplied a constant flow of attention, every so often a little lip would begin to quiver. within seconds, someone would burst into “Down at the railroad.....” and everyone else would join in. The two little faces would look at us with astonishment and we would keep it up until smiles began to appear. we sang that rhyme till we were hoarse, but we never saw a tear. at that time, we did not know the words ‘separation anxiety’, but we had found a wonderful, though exhausting, cure!

in the womb, the developing baby is building not just physical, but strong emotional bonding to mummy, and even with daddy. when a little infant is born it is already familiar with its mother’s smell, and all the varied sounds of her voice and laughter. Today, hospitals place a newly born infant on the mother’s chest so that the now separated baby can connect immediately with the familiar smell of her skin and sound of her heartbeat.

our moSt baSic need aS humanS iS the need for love and belonging

One of our deepest primal fears as humans is the terror of being abandoned or left alone – of being ‘separated’. Our most basic need as humans is the need for love and belonging. a little helpless new born is totally dependent on the care of others, particularly its mother. in the early months, the young mother spends hours holding her baby close to her body, feeding him, stroking his face and body and speaking in loving tones. This gazing is building the early seeds of healthy self esteem and helping her child internalise a sense of belonging and safety.

Just as connectedness is our most basic need, isolation is our most damaging state. a crying baby is speaking. it is his only way of calling for help. if nobody comes, he eventually moves into ‘separation anxiety’, the terror that he is all alone. since a young baby has no concept or experience of time, he has not yet gained the inner assurance that his needs will be met. Leaving a young baby to cry and cry

without any human intervention is very damaging. you cannot ‘spoil’ a young baby with too much attention. He has too many needs.

help baby develop a SenSe of belonging and Safety

The entire first year of life is ideally built around helping baby take in this sense of belonging and safety, and from there they can move out and explore the world. Between six and nine months babies start to realise that when they can’t see you, you have gone. you may only be in the next room, but for them you have disappeared and they begin to panic. This fear of being abandoned is what is called ‘separation anxiety.’ This time can sometimes feel almost claustrophobic to the mummy. The baby may also develop a fear of strangers, which also does not make it easy to leave the child with someone else. although it’s frustrating and you may feel trapped, try not to get angry or impatient. around their first birthday it usually improves.

how can i prepare my baby for SeparationS?

practice at home:

• playing ‘peek-a-boo’ with a young baby helps them realise mummy disappears but she comes back again.

• Let your baby initiate separation. Let them crawl off down the hall or into another room and wait a few moments before going after them.

• Develop goodbye/comeback rituals with your baby. show your baby the meaning of goodbye. wave ‘bye bye’ to your baby when you leave the room, and come back quickly and comfort them if they get upset. Babies understand language very early. use the same expressions again and again, ‘i’m going, but i will come back.’ eventually, they will learn that everything will be okay when you’re gone for a minute or two and that you’ll always come back.

• Leave your baby with a relative or someone they know well for 15-minute periods. Then stretch it to an hour. your baby will learn that when you leave you come back, without the added stress of being with someone unfamiliar.

tipS for leaving your baby with a baby Sitter or crèche

• when you hire a baby sitter, ask them to visit and play with your baby several times before leaving them for the first time. On your first outing, ask them to come half an hour earlier so that they and your baby can be well engaged before you leave.

• Gradually leave. Get your child engrossed in an activity or toy with their carer and gradually recede. Then give them a quick kiss and say bye bye.

• always kiss your child and wave bye-bye when you leave. Never try to sneak out when he is otherwise engaged. This can actually create separation anxiety. if your child thinks that you might disappear without any notice, he’s not going to let you out of his sight.

• avoid a dramatic farewell. Keep smiling and waving happily as you walk away – even if he is hysterical and you feel like crying yourself.

• Once you leave, leave. Do not go back into the house or crèche to calm your child. it only makes it harder on everyone. your baby will most likely be distracted and happy again by the time you are out of the driveway.

No parent likes to see their child distressed or to feel unnecessary sadness, but coping with separation is one of the many challenges your child will have to learn to manage. Donald freidheim, director of the schubert centre, Ohio, says, “Learning to cope is an important developmental task. your child has to learn that there are times when he’s going to be unhappy”. when you have done everything you can to make separation transitions as easy as possible, it is okay to let him cry for a while. in a calm, positive, matter of fact voice, reassure him that he’s okay and then leave – without feeling guilty.

Joanie Reilly is Director of private counselling practice, Alpha Counselling in Co. Kildare (B.Sc. Counselling and Psychotherapy MIACP, MIACC and Certified Couple Counsellor). Contact info@alphacounsellingnaas.ie or visit www.alphacounsellingnaas.ie for more information.

‘‘aLWayS kISS yOUr CHILD aND WaVe

bye-bye WHeN yOU LeaVe. NeVer Try

TO SNeak OUT WHeN He IS OTHerWISe

eNGaGeD. THIS CaN aCTUaLLy CreaTe

SeParaTION aNxIeTy.

53mums&tots

babies

The Importance of

Play Play is truly the ‘work’ of childhood. Offering a child, ample opportunities to play in a variety of settings and with a variety of materials is essential to any child’s development. Words by rollercoaster.ie’s anne O’Connor.

58 mums&tots

tots

Benefits of play

it facilitates cognitive development by helping a child develop skills in concentration, memory, perseverance and motivation.

it advances social development. playing develops simple skills, such as taking turns, and more complex skills such as rule making.

some forms of play afford children the opportunity to face their fears in a non-threatening way, through role play. for instance the child who has just returned from a hospital stay may play out this episode many times with their friends - this will help them overcome the fears and anxieties they may have experienced while in hospital.

it provides the ideal opportunity to explore the world without risk. The opportunity to spend many hours exploring their surroundings enables children to get to know their physical surroundings and learn about the world around them.

children are naturally active and play encourages physical activity. Rough and tumble play and climbing, jumping and running all contribute to a child’s physical development and wellbeing.

enjoyable play is important to a child’s emotional wellbeing. children who enjoy imaginative play have been shown to be more likely to smile, to be curious, to show an interest in new experiences and to express joy in play and in peer relationships.

Encouraging your child to play

as a parent there are a number of things you can do to encourage your child to play:

Recognise the importance of play in your child’s life. as parents we tend to place a greater emphasis on schoolwork and educational activities. Remember though that

your child will also benefit from plenty of unstructured time when they can play either alone or with their friends or yourself.

from a parent’s point of view, a small child’s play routine can be boring and repetitive. i’m sure you have all had the experience of picking up an object that has been thrown on the floor for the umpteenth time! your baby is still enjoying it but you’re beginning to feel that they are making fun of you! actually your child is simply learning about their physical environment and their ability to control it.

Most parents are tempted to use play to teach their child something - while this is appropriate sometimes, you need to beware of doing this too often. for instance, many parents are tempted to make a game more complex in the hope of teaching their child a new skill. children who learn through play do so when play occurs in a relaxed and non-threatening environment. when you try to consciously teach your child skills through play you may be introducing an element of stress to the game and block your child from learning.

‘‘IT PrOVIDeS THe IDeaL OPPOrTUNITy

TO exPLOre THe WOrLD WITHOUT rISk

Toys

as a parent you will be anxious to provide your child with ample opportunities to play and will be keen to help your child learn through their play. it’s interesting to watch children and their parents in toyshops. children will invariably head towards the toys that can be used in their imaginative play -- dolls, action figures, trucks, animals, etc. parents on the other hand, will be keener on the more `educational’ toys that guarantee to help your child with vocabulary, reading etc. while these educational toys do have a role to play, children’s constant favourites are equally important.

The simple rule about play is that you must give your child plenty of opportunities to play and play with them on their level. The home is full of objects that can be used in a variety of ways in play. The sweeping brush can become a pony in the hands of an imaginative child while a large cardboard box can serve as a den or a rocket ship!

Throughout the ages we have produced plenty of capable, sociable and loving young people without any specialist toys or equipment. providing your child with a stimulating and challenging environment where their innate love of learning is encouraged through play is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.

while play changes as children grow, its place in their lives remains

important, whether toddler or adolescent.

For more information, visit www.RollerCoaster.ie - Ireland’s No 1 Website for Pregnancy & Parenting

59mums&tots

tots

... and lots for the family, tra la la la la

With the festive excitement starting to build

Penneys is gearing itself up for another fun

filled Christmas. Our comfy cosy knits and

merry novelty nightwear will have your little

ones all snug and warm as the long winter

nights close in. For those looking to dress up

for the season of joy there are dainty dresses

and patent slippers, dapper shirts with ties

and chino’s a plenty, your mini me’s will be

fabulously fashionable and looking extra nice

for when Santa comes to town

Wishing you a Merry Christmas

Penneys

Penneys has a whole lot of things for Christmas…

Cardigan €6, Dress €10Button Tights €3, Patent Boots €14

FROM LEFT PJS €7, Ballerina PJS €9

FROM LEFT Diamante Trim Cardigan €12, Lace Dress €12, Knit Dress €8

www.primark.ie | Tel: 01 888 0500 www.facebook.com/PenneysIreland

Hooded Check Shirt €9Jeans €8

Canvas Boot €9

FROM LEFT PJS €6, Slippers €5, Reindeer Onesie €10

Knitted Cape €12Jeans €11

Check Shirt €9, Chinos €10

Cardigan €12Jeans €10

Polo Shirt €6Jaquard Cardigan €14

Chinos €12

Earmuffs €2Fairisle Cardigan €12

Jeans €7

Cable Knit Hoody €16, Jeans €14, PU Hightops €9

Novelty Robe €8

Girl’s Minnie Mouse Slippers €5

Boy’s Headphones €9Girl’s

Headphones €9

LS Christmas Tee €2

Boy’s Elf Slippers €5

www.annabelkarmel.com

Recipes on the go...Download Annabel’s recently updated App: Annabel’s Essential Guide To Feeding Your Baby & Toddler for lots of new, easy & nutritious recipes plus exclusive video content, showing you everything from food preparation to step by step guides.

There are also two whole episodes of Annabel’s Kitchen, perfect for keeping little ones entertained!

Now available on Android

tesco_toddler_irelandJune2012_2.indd 1 6/8/2012 12:23:31 PM

chocolate Heaven! you can make this in a large dish or as individual portions. Delicious with vanilla ice cream.

Cosy Cooking

Chocolate Pudding

Ingredients

- chocolate sponge [from annabel’s app ‘essential Guide to feeding your Baby and Toddler’ apple and Google play] - 50g soft butter plus extra for greasing - 50g soft light brown sugar - 100g self-raising flour - 30g cocoa powder - 90ml milk - 1 egg - 1/2 tsp vanilla extract - pinch of salt - 30g chocolate chips

Method• preheat the oven to 170 °c / Gas Mark 3. Grease a 1.5 litre baking dish.

• put all the sponge ingredients, except the choco-late chips in a food processor & mix for 1-2 minutes.

• add the chocolate chips & pulse 4-5 times to distribute. pour the batter into the prepared dish.

• whisk the sauce ingredients together in a heat-proof bowl or jug & pour over the sponge batter.

• Bake for 35-40 minutes until the sponge has risen. The sauce will also be bubbling up the sides of the sponge.

• serve with vanilla ice cream

Sauce - 100g soft light brown sugar - 2 tbsp cocoa powder - 1 tsp instant coffee granules - 200ml boiling water

When it’s getting dark and cold one my favourite things to do is to spend more time in the kitchen making warming and comforting food for all the family. With all the festivities going on around Christmas it gives me a great excuse get everyone to help me make lots of treats for all my family and friends. Children love giving their home made goodies as presents and it is always so lovely receiving something people have taken time and effort to make. Winter is also a great time to do some batch cooking so you have some ready prepared meals awaiting for you on miserable days.

annabel x

68 mums&tots

tots food

www.annabelkarmel.com

Recipes on the go...Download Annabel’s recently updated App: Annabel’s Essential Guide To Feeding Your Baby & Toddler for lots of new, easy & nutritious recipes plus exclusive video content, showing you everything from food preparation to step by step guides.

There are also two whole episodes of Annabel’s Kitchen, perfect for keeping little ones entertained!

Now available on Android

tesco_toddler_irelandJune2012_2.indd 1 6/8/2012 12:23:31 PM

Ingredients- 100g/4 oz softened butter or soft margarine - 100g/4 oz golden caster sugar - 2 eggs - 100g/4 oz self-raising flour - 1 tsp baking powder - 1 tsp vanilla essence - icing sugar for dusting - 150g  ready to roll white icing - 3 tbsp apricot jam

Decoration - Marshmallows - Red fizzy Laces for the scarves - Tubes of coloured writing icing - sugar bau-bles/silver baubles  

Snowman[ FROM THE PRINCESS PARTy PLANNER, EBURy PRESS ]

These cupcakes are fun for children to make themselves. you can line boxes or tins with shredded cellophane or some tissue paper and nestle your decorated cakes inside.

Method• pre-heat the oven to 180c/ 300f /.Gas 4/fan oven 160c.  place the softened butter or margarine, sugar, eggs, flour, baking powder and vanilla essence into the bowl of an electric mixer and beat for a few minutes until the mixture is light in colour and fluffy.

• Line a bun tin with 8 paper cases and divide the mixture between them, filling the cases about two thirds full.  Bake for about 20 minutes until the fairy cakes are risen and lightly golden.  Lift the cakes (still in their paper cases) out of the tins and leave them to cool on a wire rack.

• Dust a clean working surface with icing sugar and roll out the icing to about 5mm/1/4”.  cut out 8 circles using a small pastry cutter that is the same size as the top of your cakes.  put the apricot jam into a small dish and stir in 1 tablespoon of hot water, then brush this over the surface of the cakes and stick the circles of icing on top.

• To decorate the cakes use marshmallows for the snowmen’s heads, black writing icing for the eyes, red writing icing for the smiles and sugar baubles for noses (stick them on with a blob of writing icing). stick the heads on the cakes using a little apricot jam, then stick on the sugar bauble buttons.  wrap fizzy Laces around the snowmen’s necks  for scarves.

Cupcakes

70 mums&tots

tots food

Ingredients- 450g potatoes, peeled and cut into - chunks - a generous knob of butter - 3 tbsp milk - 5 tbsp grated cheddar cheese - 1 tbsp vegetable oil - 60g onion, chopped - 1 small clove garlic, crushed - 1 carrot (approx 150g), peeled+grated - 150g lean minced beef - 150 ml passata - 150 ml unsalted stock or water - 1/2 tsp fresh thyme leaves or a pinch of dried thyme - pinch sugar

Mini Cottage Pie[ FROM ‘COMPLETE FAMILy MEAL PLANNER’, EBURy PRESS ]

iron is very important for you baby’s physical and mental development. a baby is born with a store of iron that lasts for about the first 6 months after this they need to get iron from their diet. iron deficiency is the commonest nutritional deficiency in young children and can cause your child to feel tired, run down and more prone to infection. Red meat provides the best source of iron in a baby food recipe as its much easier to absorb iron from animal sources.

Method• put the potatoes into a saucepan, cover with water, bring to the boil and cook for about 12 minutes or until tender. Drain and mash together with the butter, milk and grated cheese.

• Heat the oil in a saucepan and sauté the onion over a low heat for about 4 minutes, stirring occasionally until softened. add the garlic and cook for half a minute. add the grated carrot and sauté for 4 minutes. in a separate pan, dry fry the minced beef until browned, stirring occasionally. add to the onion and carrot. pour over the passata and stock and add the thyme and pinch of sugar. cover and cook over a low heat for about 10 minutes.

• Divide the meat between 3 ramekin dishes and top each with mashed potato and brown under the grill.

71mums&tots

totsfood

David Caren is founder of Dad.ie and author of ‘The Irish Dad’s Survival Guide to Pregnancy & Beyond...’ available in all good bookstores or online at www.obrien.ie

Daddy Diaries

an excerpt from David Caren’s ‘The Irish Dad’s Survival Guide: To Pregnancy and beyond’

Helping Mum-to-beAs men we can accept that ‘we’ are not actually the ones 

having the baby, if we could, well to be honest we still wouldn’t want to. It is safe to say that our partners do not relish the idea of getting bigger and being powerless to do anything about it. Let alone having to ride the emotional see-saw of constant mood swings, or worse yet, having to endure a bout of morning sickness which can strike at ‘any time’ of the day. As an expectant dad there are certain things you can do to support mum-to-be in helping make pregnant life a little less stressful:

First off, show an interest – try to attend scans and antenatal classes, talk to friends and family who already have children about their experiences.

Help out more with the household chores and stock up on easy-to-prepare foods for the early days for when mother and baby come home.

Make some sacrifices of your own, quit smoking (as if this has to be said!) or eat more healthily.

Get in on the plan and familiarise yourself with the birth plan as your partner will look to you to convey certain instructions to the attending midwife.

Expectant dads often worry about bonding with their baby, but developing a relationship with your baby can start before the birth. It is said that the baby can hear the voices of its parents from within the womb, so why not head down below and have a pow-wow with the bump.

Pregnancy can be a worrying period so try and make some time to sit down together and talk about any problems or anxieties that you both may be having. It is also important to maintain a relationship outside of baby land (especially after your baby is born), so take a night off from all the baby talk and catch a movie or grab a bite to eat.

Avoid any sort of conflict throughout the pregnancy, and as much as you would like to say it, an argument is not won with ‘ah sure it’s only your hormones talking’. 

As the due date nears plan the best route to the hospital, make sure that the car has a full tank, the new car seat is fitted correctly and that the hospital bag is packed and that you are familiar with its contents. Factor in that you may need to bring your own items if it turns out to be a long labour or if you must return to work!

Finally, always, always ensure you make your partner feel attractive. This is a difficult time for her and she will undoubtedly be feeling somewhat vulnerable and emotional, which brings me nicely on to the expectant dad’s favourite subject - sex in pregnancy.

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

95mums&tots

daddy diaries

??

*SOFTBURST 4 - 12 yrs*SMART CHEWABLE 4 - 12 yrs SOFTJELLY 4 - 12 yrs

*BABY & INFANT 3 months - 5 years

Professor EmeritusUniversity of London

Originally developed with

Prof. A.H. BeckettOBE, PhD, DSc

The WellKid® range has been formulated by Vitabiotics' nutritional experts, to help safeguard your child's diet every day, helping to keep them full of health and vitality. The nutritional needs of young children are particularly high to support health and rapid physical growth. Each WellKid® formula provides a carefully balanced range of nutrients.

Great tasting VITAMINS for kids

ADWKD

CONP04-12

From the makers of

SHOULDN’T EVERY

KID BE A

Smart Chewable - fruity flavour tablets providing vitamins, minerals and Omega-3 from vegetarian Flaxseed Oil.Softjelly™ Multivitamins - wildberry flavour pastilles providing 10 vitamins plus flaxseed oil and malt.Softburst™ Omega 3 - lemon flavour chewable capsules providing Omega-3 Fish Oil plus Vitamins D and E.

Babies3 months +

Infants &Children4 to 12 years

*Contains vitamin D3, the preferred form as found in the body

With Vit. D

†

† Professor Beckett is not cited in the capacity of a health professional, but as a product inventor and former Chairman of Vitabiotics.**Unless they are drinking 500ml (or approx. 1 pint) of infant formula a day, as infant formula has vitamins added to it.

Baby & Infant - great tasting liquid with 14 vitamins and minerals including vitamin D, plus Swiss Alpine Malt.

Distributed by

Ireland’s leading supplementsfor specific lifestages

Available from leading pharmacies nationwide.

www.kelkin.ie

www.wellkid.co.uk