“Love When It’s Not Deserved”Galatians 5:22; I Corinthians 13

Series: TIME TO GROW

INTRODUCTION: A. Last Sunday we began our series, “Time to Grow.” We’re going

to be looking at the fruit of the Spirit. It’s a list of nine attributes which express that

Christ is reigning and ruling in our lives. No doubt some of these come more naturally

while others are a chore or even somewhat elusive. (Difference between “gifts of the

Holy Spirit/spiritual gifts AND fruits of the Holy Spirit)

I am not one generally speaking to stay up late, and if I do, it’s not usually to watch

television. But on occasion I do and it’s always amazing to me the late night

commercial that advertise all kinds of products, including little known cures and miracle

pills for all sorts of ailments. But think about it…wouldn’t it be great if you had a

deficiency in some area and you could just take some vitamins. “Is your hair thinning?

Are you balding? Need some hair? Take two of these every morning and you’ll be set.”

Or even better yet, look at the fruit of the Spirit like you would as you browse through

the vitamin aisle at Walgreens or CVS. So, let’s see…love, joy, peace, patience,

kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Hmm, I’ve noticed I

need some...goodness. I’ll load up on the self-control and at times I’m not very loving

at least that’s what those jerks at work think.

If only it were that easy! Take a vitamin and instantly love for the undeserved would

flourish; pop a pill and love would describe your life—that people would see a genuine

love in you, that your coworkers or extended family would nickname you Mother

Teresa of Calcutta.

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B. Jesus said in Matthew 7 that there would be a way to determine who is one of His

followers and who was just a member of the Jesus fan club. Here was the criteria:

Matthew 7:20 tells us, “...by their fruit you will recognize them.”

In essence, the fruit of the Spirit must be evident in your life. Are those Christ-like

attributes freely expressed in your daily life? You see, it’s not how you look & act when

you come to church; it’s not how self righteous you appear when you’re with other

Christians; it’s the fruit that you bear day in & day out..

John 15:5 says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in

him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

Most of us think of ourselves as loving people. But let’s go a little deeper. Who do you

find it easy to love? Well, it’s the people who love you, who are nice to you. Who are

the hardest people to love? Those who aren’t very lovable. Those you expect are

looking to take advantage of you in some way.

It doesn’t take the power of the Spirit for us to love those who are lovable or those who

love us in return. The question is, “Does love grow in the office when you are around a

draining co-worker or a demanding boss? How about when you are at home with your

forgetful husband, or your critical wife, or your stubborn kids? Does love grow there?”

Turn with me in your Bible to 1 Corinthians 13. It’s page number 855 in the Pew Bible

—toward the middle of the New Testament. When you hear portions of this being read

at weddings, it’s commonly referred to as the “Love Chapter.” (Context of I Cor. 13)

In the preceding chapter in 1 Corinthians 12, Paul talks about some of the Corinthians

who were craving the more supernatural of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, so Paul gives

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them a lesson on what’s more important. Let’s read 1 Corinthians 13:1-3: “If I speak in

the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a

clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all

knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am

nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but

have not love, I gain nothing.”

Did you get that? Supernatural giftings and talents don’t impress God. Incredible faith

doesn’t catch His eye. Generous giving doesn’t cause Him to sit up straight and gather

the angels together and point out your sacrifice...but love does. Do some impressive

things but fail to include love in the recipe and the Bible says, “You...gain...nothing!”

Throughout the rest of 1 Corinthians 13 Paul goes on to paint a more detailed picture

of what that love should look like.

The process begins this way...

1. Pull Some Weeds.First Corinthians 13:4-6 says: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does

not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it

keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.”

A. Last Sunday we began by understanding that in the garden of our life it starts with

cultivating the soil & pulling some weeds. And so, through the power of the Spirit, we

want to remove the barriers – the weeds…whatever doesn’t belong in our garden –

and take it out.

Well, what are those weeds to genuine Christ-like love? Look at the list and see what

inhibits such an expression of love. Love is patient—so how do we get rid of

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impatience and have a controlled life. How do we pull the weeds of envy, self-

promotion, rudeness, lust, anger, revenge, worldliness?

B. And here’s the lesson—you can’t do it on your own. There’s no pill to remove them

and there’s no spiritual Roundup® spray that instantly kills the weeds that infiltrate our

lives. (Last Sunday’s message point regarding “acts of the flesh vs. fruits of the

Spirit…) That’s where the example of Christ comes in along with the influence of the

Holy Spirit. Other important factors are the positive encouragement and accountability

of a small group or an accountability partner, along with the daily strengthening of

praying to God and reading His word. There is also weekly inspiration that comes from

worshipping together as the church. All of those factors coming together allow you to

develop the mindset to get to the root of the weeds and not simply remove the top

layer.

C. Jesus helped people pull weeds so that they could love completely:

I’m thinking of other examples, like in John 4 where there was the woman at the

well who had been married five times and was living with a man outside of

marriage. He removed the weed of loneliness and gave her something to live

for.

In Luke 19, Jesus pulled some weeds of selfishness and greed enabling

Zacchaeus to become a generous giver and lover of God.

In Mark 1, in a simple touch Jesus removed the weed of bitterness in the life of a

leper.

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In John 8 the adulterous woman who struggled with lust was shown forgiveness

by Christ. That day the weed of lust was pulled and it was replaced by a sense

of belonging and hope.

Jesus helped people pull weeds. And He wants to love others through a relationship, a

friendship, through you, to bring about change in their lives. You can be Christ’s hands

and feet and love them the way Christ would. But don’t miss this, He can change you

too—do the same for you. When your priorities change, your behavior follows. So you

too can be changed.

STORY: Hugh Hefner died September 27, 2017 and when he passed away I was

reminded of an interview he did several years ago. World Magazine shared the story of

Karen Covell, a Christian producer in Hollywood, who was assigned to be an Associate

Producer for the program Headliners and Legends.. Her first major assignment was to

plan and produce an interview with the founder of Playboy Magazine, Hugh Hefner.

Although she was frustrated over her assigned task, after a great deal of prayer, rather

than dealing with all of the infidelity and pornography, she encouraged the team to try

and find the story behind the story. What shaped Hugh Hefner to become the person

he was?

So, the day of the story they sat down with him at the Playboy Mansion. He was asked

simple, unexpected questions such as, “What were your parents like?” “What

characterized the early days of your life?” Imagine the shocked crew listening as

Hefner began to pour out how he had been raised in a Puritan home of deep religious

tradition. His parents believed in God—but not a God of grace, love, or compassion.

Theirs had been a rigid, legalistic religion. They never told Hugh, nor his brother, ever,

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that they loved them. His mother never kissed him because she wanted to avoid

germs. And so, Hefner told them that he set out to find love wherever he could.

With tears in his eyes, Hefner explained how his parents had given him a blanket when

he was a child—his security blanket. He painted a very vivid picture of going to bed at

night, hugging his blanket—the only thing he had to hug, the only thing that returned

any warmth. The blanket was bordered with bunnies. It became his “Bunny Blanket.”

Hefner also revealed that growing up he always wanted a puppy, but his mother

refused saying that dogs spread germs. However, after they discovered a tumor in

Hefner’s ear, they acquiesced and finally bought Hefner a dog. He loved that dog but,

unexpectedly, the dog died after just five days. Hefner recalled how as a little boy he

wrapped his dying dog in his Bunny Blanket as a means to comfort the puppy. But

when the puppy died, his mother buried the dog and burned the blanket. So now, both

sources of his deepest comfort were suddenly gone.

At this point in the interview, Hefner said in a matter of fact tone, “You know I guess I’m

still just that little boy, trying to find love.” Karen Covell said, “The room was hushed in

silence as we all sat and listened to this man pour out his heart. We began,” she said,

“to realize the gaping hole that had existed deep in this man’s soul.”

Karen Covell then said, “I began to realize that this man had confused sex with love

and had turned a desperate need into a way of making money” (“Salting Hollywood”

September 03, 2005 World Magazine).

But in spite of all of his wealth, women, and notoriety, at the end of the interview Hugh

Hefner said that he’s “still searching for the love he never had.” Sometimes when we

learn about the wounds in someone’s life, we better understand their behavior.

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I wonder how Hefner’s life would have been different if he’d had parents who had a

balanced view of God as a God of grace and truth. I wonder what he could have done

with his life if he had a father who came alongside and, early on, helped Hefner pull

some weeds so that he would be planting some very different seeds and reaping a

much different harvest.

Day in and day out, we are surrounded by people who need and desire to experience

love with no strings attached. And that’s the cue for the Christian to enter the scene,

without even considering if they deserve it or not.

So we begin by pulling some weeds and then it’s time to...

2. Plant Some Seeds.That’s the next natural step. I’m sure there will be some ongoing weeding but you

have to plant some seeds and watch the roots grow deeper and the love of Christ

flourish in your life, the kind of love that’s willing to come alongside of those who in the

world’s eyes may not deserve our time and attention or our love and instead reaching

out and loving them.”

A. Paul gives us a picture of what love looks like when it is full grown and mature.

Look with me at 1 Corinthians 13, verses 7 and 8a: “It always protects, always trusts,

always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.”

That kind of love is reflected in our Core Values. Look at that list. “God speaks – We

Listen. Bold Faith – We Act. Every Person – We Accept. Trusting Relationships – We

Support. Healing Community – We Protect. Genuine Joy - We Celebrate.” A love that

always protects – like a mesh fence or chicken wire fence, around a garden protects

the fruit from some invaders – that’s what a true love does. It protects.

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Look again at those two verses again. Did you see that word, “Always”? It’s throughout

the list. You see, love is no respecter of persons. It doesn’t see what can be gained

by our love; it has no strings attached.

You say, “But Paul had never met my high maintenance extended family members or

my draining boss. Surely I don’t need to love them. There’s got to be some

exceptions.” But, I’m sorry, he doesn’t give us any exceptions here. The word for

“protect” here is the Greek word, “stego.” Think of it this way, like a roof keeps off

something that threatens those inside, love shelters…literally love covers. First Peter

4:8b says, “…love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

B. Paul says that it’s a love that trusts—some people just want somebody to believe in

them. And it’s a love that always hopes—we meet people all the time who seemingly

have no hope, but when you show love to them, it gives them hope. Instead of living in

yesterday’s defeat they are excited about today and tomorrow. And Paul says that we

need a persevering love that keeps going when the knock off version of love throws in

the towel.

There were two great plagues which swept the Roman Empire in the early years of

Christianity. One came in AD 165, and then nearly one hundred years later in AD 251.

Both times those plagues killed a third of the population of the Roman Empire.

Nearly all unbelievers in that pagan nation, out of self-preservation, tried to avoid

contact with people who had the plague. In fact there are many stories about pagans

taking sick people out and literally throwing them in the gutter to die so that they didn’t

have to be near those folks, risking getting the disease themselves. Christians, on the

other hand, nursed the sick even though some of them died doing so. Christians were

very visible during this time.

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Historian Will Durant wrote, “Never had the world seen such a dispensation of alms as

was now organized by the church. She helped widows, orphans, the sick, prisoners,

and victims of natural catastrophes. She frequently intervened to protect the lower

orders from unusual exploitation.”

There was a time in the history of the church when that was the norm for the church. I

believe that time can come again, and you can be a part of it.

That type of outreach will never be realized if you and I don’t take seriously Jesus’

words in John 13:34, 35: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have

loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my

disciples, if you love one another.”

We shouldn’t claim to be the church – the body of Christ – and not love the

undeserving the way the Christ of the cross did. As Christians, how dare…how dare

we bear the name of Christ if we can’t learn to love like the One who said from the

cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

You see, there is a reason that love is listed first in the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5.

That concept is reinforced by the fact that I Cor. 13 concludes by saying (in verse 13):

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

Why is love better than faith and hope? The others will pass away; there will be no

need for them. But love is distinctive because love is eternal, and believe me…in

heaven love will be everywhere.

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Genuine love…that is the fulfillment that comes when you experience love or when you

show love. In heaven that will be an everyday occurrence – a regular routine – but

here’s the catch, it will never grow old to you.

Throughout the Bible we read, “His love endures forever.” God wants us to be a

representation of Him, that’s why we’ve been told to spread that love. Who is it that

you think doesn’t deserve your love, and yet you need to still share it?

It’s a love that causes you to pull up a chair at the family reunion right next to the

most critical and vile relative you’ve got.

It’s a love that leads you to take an interest in a homeless person even though

you’d never think you’d be in such a situation.

It’s a love that comes alongside a shut-in elderly person and just sits and listens

to them tell stories

It’s a love that mentors a young man whose course is set to head in the wrong

direction.

It’s a love that builds a true friendship with someone who appears to have

everything and yet their arrogance and pride reveal just how fragile their self-

image is and how desperate they are for someone to care.

It’s a love that helps those who were incarcerated get acclimated again and find

true freedom in Christ when they are on the other side of the fence.

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C. When you love those who deserve love, you have done nothing beyond what the

most carnal or vile person might do. Now I’m glad you do, but there’s nothing

distinctive about that. That is normal, it is typical, it is business as usual. I love my

wife; my wife loves me. I love my friends; my friends love me.

But some of you are sitting here thinking, “But Steve, what if my spouse doesn’t love

me? The question is, ‘Will you be able to still show the love of Christ to your spouse

then?’” That’s the challenge, but that’s what makes the Christian distinctive. You defy

logic, and you express a genuine love that protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres—it’s a

love that never fails.

It’s tough to grow this fruit of love in difficult places such as a tough home setting, with

a mean-spirited boss, with your ex-mate that shares custody of the kids, or with the

obnoxious neighbor who makes you want to go inside on a beautiful day. But those

are the very settings where true love accomplishes the most. (How we best develop

fruits of Spirit by being in situations where the natural inclination is to do the opposite.)

And I hate to burst your bubble, but you and I don’t deserve love. We’re not the

greatest thing to hit the earth. There were no paparazzi following any of us when we

came into the church today. And you’re not perfect and I know I’m certainly not...but

look at the love that was shown to us in dramatic fashion.

Romans 5:8 reminds us, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we

were still sinners, Christ died for us.” We could just as easily translate it to say, “God

demonstrates his love for us in this, that even though we didn’t deserve it, Christ died

for us.” You see, love is what held deity on a cross when He had the power to come

down from it.

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CONCLUDING STORY: Popular Bible teacher, Beth Moore, tells the story of the time

when she was at the airport settling in at her gate when she noticed an elderly man in a

wheelchair near her. She noticed he was quite frail, humped over, skin and bones,

with overgrown fingernails and long, tangled gray hair, and she said at first glance she

was somewhat repulsed by him.

As she sat there preparing for her next speaking engagement, she felt an impression

from God saying she should engage this man in a conversation & witness to the man.

She resisted the Holy Spirit, thinking she’d try to talk to him on the plane. But then it

was as if the Lord said to her, “I don’t want you to witness to him. I want you to brush

his hair.” She quickly dismissed it since her brush was packed away. But the inner

prompting said, “Ask him if he has one.”

Finally she was so restless she got up, walked over to the unkempt old man and

asked, “Sir, may I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?”  He said, “What did you

say?” She said, “May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?” He said, “Little lady,

if you expect me to hear you, you’re going to have to talk louder than that.”  At this

point, she took a deep breath and blurted out, “SIR, MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF

BRUSHING YOUR HAIR?”

Nearly everyone at the gate stared at her. Her face was as red as a lobster.  The man

looked up at her, clearly shocked, and said, “If you really want to.”

Though she didn’t really want to, she said to the man, “I would be pleased to but I have

a problem, I don’t have a hairbrush.”  “I have one in my bag,” he responded.  She went

behind the wheelchair, got down on her hands and knees, unzipped the stranger’s bag

and found the brush, hardly believing what she was doing.

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She began brushing the old man’s hair, noticing it was clean, just tangled and matted.

She wrote, “I don’t do many things well, but I’ve had notable experience untangling

knotted hair after mothering two little girls.”  

A miraculous thing happened as she brushed his hair.  Everyone around disappeared,

and it seemed as if there was no one there except her and the old man.  She brushed

and brushed until every tangle was out. She writes, “I know this sounds strange but I

never have felt that kind of love for another soul in my entire life.”

After his hair was soft and smooth, she got down on her hands and knees in front of

him and said, “Sir, do you know my Jesus?” He said, “Yes, I do.” He explained, “I’ve

known Him ever since I married my bride.  She wouldn’t marry me until I got to know

the Savior.”  

He said, “You see the problem is that I haven’t seen my bride in a few months. I had to

have open-heart surgery in another city and she’s been too ill to come see me.  I was

sitting here thinking to myself, I am going to look like a mess when I see my bride.”

Later, Beth was boarding the plane when the airline hostess approached her, tears

streaming down her cheeks. She said, “That old man I just helped get onto the plane,

why did you do that?” Beth said, “Do you know my Jesus? He can be the bossiest

thing!” and so Beth got to talk with her.

    

Beth Moore concludes, “Only God knows how often we are a part of a divine moment

when we’re completely unaware of the significance. This was one of those rare

encounters when I knew God had intervened in details that only He could have known.

It was a “God-moment” that I will never forget.” And, I’ll never forget that story.

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The Apostle Paul was right: “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the

greatest of these is love.” Paul writes a great theme-verse for us all in Galatians 5:6b

when he says, “…The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.”

CONCLUSION: Sheila and I enjoy baseball. There are some sports I really enjoy that

she really doesn’t care that much about, but baseball is one we both enjoy. Since

moving here we’ve become Jackson Generals fans, partially because of the generosity

of some people who have given us tickets several times. We love going to home

games on Saturday evenings because they have fireworks afterwards and they really

do a great job with their fireworks displays. The Bible says that the angels rejoice in

heaven when a sinner repents—that there is this huge party that takes place in heaven

when someone here on earth surrenders to Jesus as their Savior and Lord. In my

mind, I see fireworks exploding in heaven when someone here on earth comes to

Christ. And you can do set off an incredible celebration there by answering this

question, “Do you know my Jesus?” If you don’t, you can. And if you already do and

want to be a part of this church, we’d love to have you make that decision as well.

Whatever your decision is, you meet me down front as we stand and as we sing.

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