Dear all,

Here is issue 1 of a new magazine produced by

students for students.

It covers, Science, Sport, Technology and so much

more. If you like football, ITFC, memes, dingbats

then there should be something in here for every-

one.

It may also be particularly good for tutor time to

discuss topical issues like the Scottish referen-

dum.

Please read it and spread the word if you like it.

You can find it online if you would like to read

more of it later.

Follow the link below: http://issuu.com/snippet/

docs/issue_1/0

Issue 2 will be out next month and we hope you’ll

become a regular reader.

Kindest regards,

The Snippet Team

Editor’s Note: this issue is written in the style of a new Year 7 student trying

to fathom the language of older students in school. Handwritten for authen-

ticity.

Y ou may have

heard about

the upcoming

Scottish referen-

dum on September 18th. The Unit-

ed Kingdom took hundreds of

years to create and is something

we all take for granted. Will this

historic event lead to a new begin-

ning for Scotland, or is a break-up

a destruction of the most success-

ful union in the world?

In 2007, when the SNP

(Scottish National Party) leader

Alex Salmond made his debut as

first minister of Scotland, the cam-

paign for Scottish independence

began. He worked to try and get a

referendum for his country’s fu-

ture, but he didn’t get his way in

law until the 14th November 2013,

when his referendum bill was

passed through the Scottish Gov-

ernment.

Alex Salmond decided he

wanted to appeal independence to

all political sides, by saying a yes

vote is not necessarily a vote for

the SNP. However, Alistair Darling,

a labour MP and the leader of the

cross-party group, Better Together

(which includes the Scottish Liberal

Democrats, Scottish Labour and

Scottish Conservatives) thinks inde-

pendence would be a disaster for

the UK and Scotland.

These weapons of mass distruction are cur-

rently serviced in Scotland. The SNP are against

nuclear weapons in Scotland, so they want the

missile to be looked after by the UK. Scottish

independence would give them the power to

decide where to put them.

The Trident Nuclear

Missiles

The SNP want the pound for Scotland, rather than the Euro or

an independent currency, because it would be safest for the

country.

The no campaign say jobs would be lost in Scot-

land if the missiles were moved and it would

cost the UK government billions of pounds.

Currency

The Chancellor says that there could not be a currency union.

This would be bad for Scotland anyway, because they would

have no control over interest rates, which the Bank of England

decide.

Who will win? Yes or no?

Alistair Darling, leader of the Better

Together campaign, ( bottom right)

and Alex Salmond, leader of the Yes

Campaign (above).

OR NO?

Since 25th June 2012, the two

sides have been battling in a brutal

campaign war, dominated by three

live debates between the two lead-

ers broadcast on television.

Even the queen has advised

voters to ’think very carefully about

the future’ when it comes to the

referendum.

In summary, whatever Scot-

land decides, it will certainly affect

the relationship between England

and Scotland for years to come.

Even if there is a no vote, Scotland

will continue its devolution, gain-

ing more powers, such as making

more of their own laws. In this

case, Alex Salmond has said he

will not campaign for another

vote.

Oil would secure the future of Scotland, with plenty of

tax revenues and money into the economy. Fracking

could help get even more oil and gas too.

A reliance upon oil would be dangerous, because

the country would be dependent on the fluctuating

price and it will probably run out in 30 years anyway.

Any ideas of fracking is probably wishful thinking.

Scotland’s constituencies are mostly held by labour (yellow)

candidates, with a few SNPs (red) and Conservatives (blue).

This significantly contrasts with England, which has much less

labour. With a Conservative lead government, Scotland feels

left out by the UK government.

Devolution will give the Scottish Parliament more pow-

ers over its own laws, which will reflect the people

more. In fact, devolution can give Scotland more pow-

ers, while keeping the safety of a union—the best of

both worlds. Scotland has its own identity without

needing to leave the UK.

Oil Politics

So far, 40 billion barrels of oil have been extract-

ed from around Scotland. This has earned billions

in tax revenues for the British government.

The start of the year can be quite scary and intimidating because you don’t

have any idea where you are going and Mr Tighe could come out at any

moment and catch you doing something you shouldn’t be! But once you

have been around certain places a certain amount of times, you tend to learn

your way around your timetable. Nearer the last half term, you practically

know the school like the back of your hand!

Finding new friends can be hard, but as you progress through school, you will

gain lifelong friends by joining extracurricular clubs and doing the Lower School

production.

Year 7 slogans would be “follow the rules” and

“don’t misbehave”. You can also tell the Year 7s

apart from the other years because of the

pristine uniforms and wide-eyed looks.

Homework is a monumental change, because

there was a lot more of it almost straight away.

But once you get used to it, it seems to shrink

from the start of the year; each piece you

complete is one less you have to carry around.

Getting the rooms correct can be a challenge, as

each individual lesson is in a different room and

each room has a different set of expectations.

Now for the dreaded part! If you get signed up

three times (this could be for forgetting books or

having the wrong uniform), you get taken to S1

(detention room) with all the other detainees

(obviously, professing their innocence) to spend

an extra 40 minutes learning.

Answers in the next issue.

Picture it now: Italy vs Uruguay, the winner goes through

to the next round. Tension is high. The score is 0-0 and just

as a Uruguayan cross is about to be sent curling into the

box, there is an incident between Luis Suarez, the

Uruguayan striker, and Giorgio Chiellini, the Italian

defender. Both the players hit the ground, then Chiellini is

straight up again, furious, shouting at the referee and

showing him a mark on his shoulder. The commentators

are going crazy. And on the replay, the world sees what

can’t possibly be true. Suarez has bitten an opposing

player. And not for the first time.

In the following weeks, Suarez was on the receiving end of

criticism and abuse from football fans and many in the

footballing establishment for not only spoiling the World

Cup, but also damaging the reputation of football.

Amazingly, the striker still denied having bitten the Italian.

He said this in a press conference after the event: ‘These things happen in the box. We were in contact, chest against

shoulder and I got a knock in the eye.’ Of course, we know this statement is complete rubbish. Suarez eventually

apologised and received a two-month ban from any football-related activity.

But what does this mean for the game? It could be argued that football is taking a bad path towards more cheating and

violence. The Suarez incident is not the only example of cheating and appalling sportsmanship. Diego Maradona, who is

regarded one of the best

layers of all time, is sadly most famous for his 1986 ‘hand of god‘, where he knocked the ball into the goal

using his hand. Another example of football taking a darker path is that even though Suarez has committed

three terrible offences - two other biting offences committed when playing for his club - he has only ever

Giorgio Chiellini showing his bite marks it the aftermath of

Suarez’s World Cup fiasco.

Has the

Beautiful

Game

Turned

Ugly?

Opinion by Oliver Bowman

The World Cup: a fantastic celebration of footballing talent from around the world; a

wonderful event watched by over half the world’s population. This year’s competition

was different, though, and left a bad taste in the mouth. So much so that many people

have almost forgotten who won, and are still talking about the bad and the ugly.

Luis Suarez is spotted biting the Itlaian defender, Giorgio Chiellini

Season Preview

received, in my opinion, lenient punishments. As well as this, he has, since the World Cup

incident, made a £79 million transfer from Liverpool to Barcelona. Despite his on-field antics, he

is still a sought-after player. This must have brought some relief for Liverpool. They had, on the

one hand, a brilliant player scoring magnificent goals, but, on the other, a troublemaker who

damaged their reputation and presented them with a dilemma: Do they leave him on the bench

to punish him, or overlook the behaviour because he is their best player? As the new Premier

League season starts, they’ll be relieved that instead of a volatile player, they’ve got a huge wad of cash.

It’s very easy to focus on the dirty aspects of the game; the pictures of violent incidents are gripping. The headlines are

everywhere. When there’s a controversial occurrence, it’s inevitable that it’s widely talked about. But we must remember

that the reason it’s so widely talked about is precisely because it’s so rare. Let’s not forget that the violence and

occasional horror that is now part of the modern game is still a tiny aspect of it. FIFA, football’s world governing body,

estimates that there are 265 million people in the world who regularly play the game, and a further 5 million officials;

that means about 4% of the worlds population is actively involved in the sport. Nearly all of the games of football being

played pass off without incident. Football brings people together, brings happiness and gets people active. We shouldn’t

focus on scarce idiots like Suarez, talented though he is, but instead on the good things that come out of football around

the world.

Season Preview

Thomas Irvine’s ITFC

This week, Tom looks into the drama of the new season at Ipswich Town.

Ipswich Town’s 2013/14 season was a season of, as so many are: hope followed by disappointment; however the Town faithful should be heartened by the fact that disappoint-ment was in narrowly missing out on the play-offs; and not an-other season of fighting for survival. As their thirteenth consec-utive season in the Championship gets into full swing Ipswich fans will be eager for a season of hope, followed by a rather unusual sense of success.

Page 13

Luis Suarez

As Mick McCarthy begun his first full season as Ipswich Town man-ager a year ago, the ITFC fans ex-pected a season of consolidation and building, McCarthy and Terry Connor were to build their own team, which could then mount a serious promo-tion push in the following season. The summer of 2013 had featured many comings and goings, and it was thought the team may take time to gel. Despite a tough start to the sea-son, which featured recently relegat-ed teams QPR and Reading, the sup-porters were left feeling slightly un-derwhelmed with the position of nineteenth after five games.

However, the season picked up and after an eight game unbeaten run, Ipswich were in the play-offs after 24 games. The fans sensed an optimism not felt since multi millionaire Marcus Evans took over the club in 2007. With a first chance at the play-offs in over five years, many Town fans felt this was the time that Marcus Evans would open his chequebook to boost the club into the Premier League. The team was crying out for a creative midfielder to contrast the hard-working midfield-ers of Hyam, Skuse and Tabb. Much to the Town fans dismay however, there was no transfer activity in the January window.

By mid February Town had slipped to tenth, six points off the play-offs and star striker David McGoldrick, who had netted sixteen times already, was sidelined with a knee problem for the rest of the sea-son. The focus was now on next sea-son, when the team could make a proper push and finish in sixth or high-er.

A month later although after an away win at Play-off challengers Brighton and a dramatic home win to Derby left Ipswich three points off the play-offs and the Town fans buzzing once again. The loan signing of Crystal Palace attacking midfielder Jonny Wil-liams had excited everyone and he had been influential in both wins.

With Williams’ loan ex-tended until the end of the season, Town took seven points from the

next four games to go into the final four level on points with Reading in sixth; none of the challenging teams could hold together a winning run so it was now or never for Town’s final push. Unfortunately no wins from their next three left Ipswich out of the running on the final day and the fans eager for August to roll around and the 2014/15 season to get underway.

For the first time in years, Ips-wich Town went into pre-season knowing their first team squad did not need a complete makeover, the squad had its building blocks and a just a few additions were needed.

Excitement was building around

the club as Town went into their open-

ing league game against Fulham at Portman Road. Could this be the year the club ended their long wait to get back into the Premier League? Could the new signings make an instant im-pact in what would be a difficult game against recently relegated Fulham? The team was already facing a mini injury crisis: David McGoldrick was unlikely to start, new signings Camer-on Stewart and Jonathan Parr were both out, and Paul Anderson and Ste-phen Hunt were both sidelined.

Only one new signing started against the Cottagers, Balint Bajner played up front with Daryl Murphy with David McGoldrick a sub. After a nervy opening half hour Daryl Murphy powered Town ahead, after only 43 minutes new signing Balint Bajner was subbed off for David McGoldrick, leav-ing no new signings on the pitch. Shortly after the break David McGol-drick slammed home the second, de-spite a late barrage from Fulham with a Tim Hoogland goal in the 85th Town held on for three points.

Town travelled to Crawley on the following Tuesday for a Capital One Cup first round tie. Town fielded a weakened team and the League One outfit snatched the match with a dra-matic winner in extra time.

On the Saturday the tractor boys made the trip to the Madjeski, where they played Reading in a re-match of last season’s opening en-counter. The only change from the Fulham was game was the return of David McGoldrick to the team. Both

Mick McCarthy has been manager for just over a year.

David McGoldrick will be playing for

Ipswich this season

Page 13

teams had chances in the opening ex-changes but Town conceded a sloppy goal after a David McGoldrick mistake on the 25th minute. More chances came for both teams throughout the match but no more goals were scored and Town left Reading empty handed.

Town made a new signing, Con-nor Sammon came in on a season long loan from Derby County and he started against Birmingham on Tuesday night. He replaced David McGoldrick who still needed to regain full match fitness after missing much of pre-season. Town went behind early on through a poor goal but pulled it back just after the interval with a Christophe Berra header. On the 62nd minute Cole Skuse gave the ball away and Clayton Don-aldson broke away to score. Town did managed to scrape a point though, centre back Christophe Berra became Towns top scorer when he headed home a last gasp equaliser.

It was now on to the East Angli-an derby with Norwich: the fierce rivals had not met since April 2011 when the Canaries humbled Ipswich 5-1 at Port-man Road. This was a match that Town fans wanted to win more than any oth-er. David McGoldrick and Paul Ander-son’s returns to the starting line up were the only changes. Town started

well but Lewis Grabban headed in an offside goal in the 24th minute. The atmosphere among the home fans went very flat for the following 66 minutes as they succumbed to another derby defeat, suddenly after an excel-lent win against Fulham, Town had only picked up one point.

Town’s next game was very diffi-cult trip to Derby; the Rams had nar-rowly missed out on promotion last season. David McGoldrick was missing from the Town squad, there had been rumours circulating about him moving to Leicester so it was presumed amongst the Town support he was in Leicester. Cole Skuse and Elliot Hewitt were also missing due to injury, and Tyrone Mings was dropped to the bench. Jonathan Parr, Kevin Bru,

Teddy Bishop were all given their league debuts. Derby started well and went ahead through a scrappy goal. A cross was blocked by Tommy Smith, Luke Hyam’s attempted clear-ance went to Chris Martin whose head-er was saved by Dean Gerken, another header came in that was blocked by Parr but this time former Norwich strik-er Chris Martin was on hand to knock it into the net. Despite Derby’s continued dominance Ipswich equalised through Christophe Berra heading in a Paul An-

derson free kick. Town really came into the game now and very nearly won it in the final half hour. The Tractor Boys walked away from Pride Park very hap-py with their point.

Town held on to David McGol-drick, in a frantic deadline day Town reportedly rejected an £8M offer from Leicester City.

Ipswich sit nineteenth, four points off the Play-offs and will hope to overturn the deficit sooner rather than later. Town now face visits from Mill-wall and Brighton where they will be expecting to pick up six points to get their promotion campaign back on track. Question marks remain over some positions: Who can offer creativi-ty in the middle, Kevin Bru and Teddy Bishop can but they are not the fin-ished article? Are Alex Henshall and a fit Cameron Stewart the exciting wing-ers Mick is looking for? Does Connor Sammon offer good enough back-up? And most importantly can Town return to the Premier League? I can’t wait to find out.

Name Date From Fee Position

Alex Henshall 27-06-14 Man City Free Winger

Cameron Stewart

01-07-14 Hull City Free Winger

Kevin Bru 01-07-14 Levski Sofia Free Midfielder

Jonathan Parr 07-07-14 Crystal Palace Free Full Back

Bartosz Bialkowski

15-07-14 Notts County Free Goalkeeper

Balint Bajner 31-07-14 Borussia Dortmund

Free Striker

Name Date To Fee Position

Aaron Cresswell 03-07-14 West Ham £4M Left Back

In:

Out:

Alex Henshall Cameron Stewart

Kevin Bru Jonathan Parr

Bartosz Bialkowski Balint Bajner

The S

quad

Welcome to Beats & Blockbusters, your

number one column for everything relat-

ed to music and films.

This time in Beats, as our theme this issue is begin-

nings, I will look into the new artists who hit the

stages at the big festivals during summer holidays.

Glastonbury kicked off the festivals with new act

M+A hitting the stage.

M+A produce an awesome pop-disco combination,

this Italian duo won Glastonbury’s 2014 Emerging

Talent and got the chance to perform at one of the

festival’s main stages (West Holts). They also won

£5,000 pounds! Their catchy single “Down the West

Side” is a perfect pop tune for summer. This duo is

an up-and-coming band that produces effortlessly

catchy tunes. 9/10!

Another notable band at Glastonbury was Imagine

Dragons, an American rock band, who wowed the

crowd with their hit singles “Radioactive” and

“Demons” among many others. Their album “Night

Visions” is an awesome rock album and they are

taking the rock world by storm. 9/10!

Now over in films (or Blockbusters) I’m going to look

at the films over the summer giving actors and ac-

tresses big breaks!

Maleficent

The new (ish) actress Ella Purnell had the immense

task to portray Angelina Jolie (Maleficent) as a teen-

ager; she rose to fame in “Kick-Ass 2” last year!

Disney makes a twist on traditional fairy-tales with

this dark take on “Sleeping Beauty”, but instead the

film is seen through the eyes of the villain Malefi-

cent! Angelina Jolie portrays the title character ma-

jestically and this story will leave you questioning

fairy-tales. The film weaves an intricate backstory

leading up to Jolie’s character’s fall from grace and

the events that led up to the fateful birthday. How-

ever you continue through the classic story from

Maleficent’s viewpoint until the dramatic conclu-

sion. 8/10!

The Fault In Our Stars

This beautiful romance stars Shailene Woodley as Hazel

and Ansel Elgort stars as her star-crossed lover Augustus;

Shailene and Ansel both were shot into the public eye

due to their main roles in “Divergent”. The Fault In Our

Stars though is a love story, however this isn’t an ordi-

nary love story with the dark shadow of cancer over-

casting throughout the film. Cancer though doesn’t domi-

nate the plot, as this isn’t a story about cancer, this is a

story of a girl and boy who fall madly in love. Cleverly

written, the plot strings you along until the twist ending

that will leave you shocked. Prepare yourself for the trag-

ic yet beautiful and realistic ending, as it will leave you

crying. 9/10!

Top ten games worth waiting for...if you’re old enough!

It’s not often that you get a 4 v 1 multiplayer game, however Evolve seems to be basing its commercial

campaign on it. The concept is to kill the beast, however to do so you have to stop the beast from “evolving”

and regaining armour to kill it at its weakest moment. This can be done using one of the 4 different human

classes available in the game and co-operating with online players to set traps and track down the beast.

Evolve

Assassin’s creed unity is based in France during the time of the French revolution and is therefore based mostly in cities.

The whole sailing/pirate theme from the last game will be dropped, however assassins creed unity has got new features

like the 4 player online multiplayer where other missions can be completed along with exploring the vast open world.

Assassin’s Creed Unity

Splatoon is one of the only child friendly shooters you will find the market in this day and age however in this game you do

not shoot bullets and you do not kill for points. Splatoon is based on gaining territory but the only way to do that is to

splash, roll and explode paint all over the world to claim it as yours. The main selling point of this game is the ability to turn

into squid and swim around in the paint of your team’s colours. Though marketed for a younger audience, Splatoon

stays competitive due to its multiplayer making it a great game regardless of age.

Splatoon

The Division is a post-apocalyptic shooter game based in a dense city much like New York in the future where after a disease

being tested in a lab manages to escape its containment; it is unleashed to the world causing havoc far and wide. The whole

game is multiplayer and contains a huge open world area for you to play with as well as a full year cycle bringing the game to

life and using the next gen consoles to a new level. As well as all of this the division has a tablet controlled

drone in the game allow players to join in the fun on their tablets making this a great game.

The Division

This is the 4th in the series of Nintendo Beat 'Em Ups. It pits many famous gaming characters (such as Pac-Man

and Mario) against each other in a gimmicky fight. This edition will be different to the others as it focuses on charac-

ters’ individual gameplay styles rather than having an overwhelming amount of characters and stages.

New Super Smash Bros For Wii

Call Of Duty: Advanced Warfare is closely related to the other call of duty games in the sense that you have weapons and

you have to kill the bad guys. Advanced warfare is based in a futuristic scene with holograms and flying objects as well as

brand new amazing guns making this a great addition to the call of duty franchise.

Call Of Duty: Advanced Warfare

Despite being called No.10 this game is about the 13th in the Mario Party series. This game keeps a mechanic of

moving around the party board as one item but switching the ‘leader’ each turn (The leader will get or lose any

items of the turn. Also a new mechanic in this edition of the series is that one player (specifically the gamepad

player) will take the role of bowser and pester the other players. A great way to ruin friendships!

Mario Party 10

The Crew is a driving game were you and your buddy’s can drive around and have a laugh, however what makes this game

different is that it has a huge area to drive and drift in in fact it is a recreation of the united states that is fully open world. As

well as this fully open world playground you can partake in races to try and become the top underground racer there is.

The Crew

Sims 4 is much alike the other Sims games however in this game you get to play around with emotions. If a Sim

enters a room with red walls and decorations he will be romantic due to the mechanics in the new game however

if you were in a green room you might fell smart, also if a character plays sad music your other Sims will be sad. On

top of this, Sims 4 has a new customization technique for characters allowing more detail.

Sims 4

Far Cry 4 is based in Kyrat, a mountainous area of the Himalayas adding a new sense of adventure and freedom to the

game as you fly, climb or fall of mountains and hills. Far cry 4 has added in some new forms of transport as well as the al-

ready existent cars and bikes as you can now ride elephants and trick them into giving you an advantage over your foes.

The Far Cry 4 storyline is single player however all of Kyrat can be explored with a friend in open world multiplayer. Overall

Far Cry 4 is great game to play alone or with a friend making this the perfect game to buy.

Far Cry 4

A reservoir of water has been discovered 400 miles (700km) beneath North America by scientists. It could be the largest reservoir of water on Earth; as much as three times the volume of all Earth’s surface oceans. This discovery could help explain where our seas came from. Some scientists believe that our oceans came from comets as they hit Earth but they are questioning this theory as they now think that the seas came from within the planet. Two thousand seismologists studied the seismic waves which were travelling through the Earth’s crust created by more than 500 earthquakes. Measuring the speed of these seismic waves, they could work out what types of rocks were beneath the area they were studying. The reservoir showed up because the seismic waves slowed down, as it takes longer for these waves to travel through water. Because of the discovery of water in the transition zone, (the area between the upper mantle and the lower mantle,) scientists did some experiments to see if Hydrous Ringwoodite (a type of rock which can contain water,) was present. The Earth has four main layers: lithosphere, asthenosphere, upper mantle, and

lower mantle. In the scientists’ experiments, they found that there was in fact Hydrous Ringwoodite inside the Earth’s mantle, 700km (400 miles) down. Ringwoodite is a blue rock, which is like a sponge and soaks up water. Ringwoodite has a crystalline structure, which allows it to attract Hydrogen and store water. At depths of 400 miles, the Ringwoodite should melt partially. “When a rock with a lot of H2O (water) moves from the transition zone to the lower mantle, it needs to get rid of the H2O somehow, so it melts a bit,” Schmandt, a seismologist from the University of New Mexico said. “This is called dehydration melting.” After the water escapes from the rock, it gets trapped in the transition zone, creating a reservoir. It is thought that plate tectonics cycle water in and out, which could be evidence of a whole-earth water cycle. The only place scientists have evidence of the presence of Hydrous Ringwoodite is beneath the U.S. Scientists now want to find out if there is Hydrous Ringwoodite all around the world.

A sample of Ringwoodite. Scientists think Hydrous Ringwoodite

can explain an underground ocean,

showed in the diagram.

Why you should Start Reading Adrian

Mole’s Diaries

Adrian Mole. Teenager, intellectual, lover. It seems that at a glance the 8 books in the series may

be seen as either old fashioned or out of date. This couldn’t be more wrong. Originally written in

1981 by Sue Townsend, the first book, The Diary of Adrian Albert Mole, aged 13 ¾ focuses on a

colourful variety of teenage problems such as spots, the delusion of undying love, and overesti-

mating oneself.

The protagonist himself, Adrian, is a very cynical, melodramatic individual. As he nears 14, the

sudden realisation that he is an intellectual (or so he thinks) motivates him to somehow break

free from his humble upbringings and become a great writer.

Comedy, tragedy and drama feature in these unconventional novels.

Adrian’s’ persistent pursuit of the stunningly intelligent and beautiful Pandora Braithwaite shows

his more sensitive (yet lustful) side. The narrator’s romanticism of his supposed future wife is hi-

larious, ambitious and exaggerated.

I would recommend this series to anyone who wants to read books that are relatable and based

around adolescence, without being as clichéd as teen fiction novels. These books are very different

from others in the young adult category as they feature a mix of mature and juvenile humour.

There is a slight political atmosphere to certain sections, which means this book is great for those

interested in the politics of the 1980s and Thatcherism. The book also comments on many signifi-

cant events in the 80s such as the royal wedding, the fear over the use of chemical weapons, as

well as references to the popular music, literature and broadcasting at the time. This, I must point

out, does not mean this book is unconnected to today’s so-

ciety. There are some aspects of adolescence that will never

change and as long as teenagers continue to develop acne,

rivalries, romantic relationships and their own opinions in the

world, this book shall always be relevant.

Hello! Have you ever been interested in things like obliviously blowing up into a demonic inferno of scorching fire? Have YOU ever wanted to? Probably not, but here you go anyway! Basically, as the combustion is spontaneous you don’t know where the fire comes from but when it does come, your clothes act like a wick of a candle and your body fats act like the wax. Your fat slowly seeps through your clothes keeping you alight for longer until you slowly ‘melt’ and then blow up like an organ filled water balloon. The latest account of this type of combustion was in 2010, where a man was found burnt and when the fireman came they saw no source of fire and no form of pyrotechnics around. A feature of spontaneous combustion is that your hands and feet usually survive, you leave a greasy residue behind and your surroundings are left unharmed.

Please, don’t try this at home!

Thankyou to all of the contributors to Farlingaye’s first ever

Oliver Bowman

Riki Buckles

Alexandra Cole

Sonny Da Silva-Peters

Polly Dawson

James Frost

Elena Ferretti

Mati Ferretti

Olivia Goldsmith

Thomas Irvine

Euan McKenzie

Emily Mitchell

India Parkinson

Beth Scahill

Will Stevens

Raffi Thomas

Rachael Vickery

Raffy Zoio