intellectual crap

8/10/2019 Intellectual Crap

1/10

hello, my name is...who cares?

Remember how we used to introduce ourselves like this

when we were little :P

LOL, nostalgia...

Anyway the reason why I am writing this **** is coz

this site has some crazy rules about give and take; like

any of the docs

I'm uploading can contribute to anyone on an

intellectual level, which is what I believe this website is

aiming for, *crazy face*.

Dont bother with the following text; just my silly

diary entries, just to add more load to my uploady

document.

11:26 PM 4/25/2014

It's 25th April. Today is the day I finally decided on

what I want to pursue as a career, for the rest of my

life. It's a normal Friday, like any other, but to me, it's

Good Friday; as though Jesus himself came forward to

bless me. I feel elated, enthralled and excited. Three Es

eh? I'm mentally laughing as I type this in the dead of

the night. I feel feverish, tired but too happy to sleep. For


2/10

the last one and a half year, my father has been

enlightening me on the benefits of going abroad to

pursue higher education. I whole-heartedly agreed with

him but had never made any effort to work on it. The

truth was, I was afraid. Afraid that I won't find a topic

of interest and be stuck with something that the elders

suggested.

This evening, dad came up to me and told me to do

some digging on Universities of USA. I was resigned

as usual and humored him for a bit. There, while

browsing the faculty member of Colombia University, I

happened to see a professor whose area of specialization

was in Entertainment and Video making. The

sentence caught fire and burned my nerves with

intensity. I know, too dramatic. Sorry, hard to shake

off a fiction-writer's habits xP. I cross checked with my

dad about the general procedure of admissions for

MS/Ph.D. I heard what I just needed to know; Computer

Graphics and Visuals. Although I would've never

dreamt of such a thing happening this very afternoon;

when I was just an ambition-less teenager, but it's

happening now; the important time when an adolescent

decides on what she wants to do for the rest of her life. I

hope my dad understands my interests. As the general


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saying goes, Entertainment Industry is a shaky

business. It's transient and competitive, but like my

mother put it this very evening, there is no competition

when it comes to creativity; it's all in the head. My

hands are shaking right now as I type this. What if

something like this does happen? What if I really do

make it? There is no chance of failure here as I have a

definite degree of MS in CGV which is currently one of

the hottest topics in the field of computer Science

today. The prospect of having a sense of security while

still pursuing your dream is so relieving and

reassuring that I feel giddy.

Rest tomorrow xD.

2:14 PM 5/21/2014

Ya sorry, I did say 'tomorrow' on my previous diary

but sadly it didn't happen. Not just the diary entry

but the whole ground-shaking discovery that I had

believed to have made on the night of 25th April. I'm

back to square one; hopeless and ambition-less...now

more like soul-less actually. I sit here trying to crack

GRE. It's not difficult but it's absurdly

boring....mind-bogglingly boring. Why....can't I just

stay home and relax for the rest of my life like the


4/10

Kalahari Desert inhabitants? There was this priceless

observation from the writers of Gods must be Crazy; it

said, "In order to make a child's future comfortable and

successful, the child is made to undergo grueling

hours of study on complex mathematical calculations

and the ways of the world." So true, am I living my

life or messing it up? My mom tells me to have a

positive approach and that my situation could be a lot

worse. I agree off course, but when you hear stuff like

that, it's hard not to agree; humans are heading for the

worse possible future. Er, yeah. Who am I to question

14 billion years of evolution? I study, get into MIT,

then what? I work in a company and they expect the

MITian to come up with some exclusive discovery that'll

help the man kind. If, that someone happened to be me,

I'd suggest mankind to move onto the Kalahari

dessert. Gah, what am I writing? I mean chincha No

SOP as I'm so not interested in CGV. It's all trash. Life

Sucks. Well except KDramas...hehehe. That's my

solace. Fuck. I wonder what satisfaction people get by

using the term 'Fuck', true it a vulgar form of

describing sex. But...what's sex got to do with life's

problems? LOL. World is truly messed up.

***


5/10

10:50 AM 6/29/2014 - Day

before CGV finale.

Sitting in front of my book, trying to figure out how

I'll finish at least one unit before tomorrow. What is it

with me and studies? I should see a shrink soon, my

level of concentration is that of a goldfish. They are

said to have a memory range of 3 seconds. I feel like

one now. I mean...I'm worse than Ghajini...House is

swarming with guests; they expect me to smile every

time I pass them. Why? Can't I just not smile? I'm not

our ex-chief minister LET ME BE

My hands are tired. Ciao

11:06 PM 6/29/2014

Every time, EVERY_FREAKING_TIME, I do just one

unit on the eve of an exam. Suppose the exam was at 9

instead of 2, I'd probably have a nervous break-down.

Even now, instead of studying, I'm writing a stupid

diary entry while trying hard not to cuss. LIFE SUX;

thought I was in a better shape for this exam, I can

already see myself falling asleep at 12 and doing


6/10

four-effin-units tomo in the morning. I wanna go to

Kalahari desert Ok, provided there's a flat screen, an

AC and a hard disk that magically gets updated with

KDramas xP now I have officially lost my mind.

Before my parents kick me into a mental-hospital I'll

take my leave. Ciao lap-top-diary :P

8:14 PM 7/28/2014

Hello. *Sweet Smile* It's...the day before my results

will be announced. Surprisingly, I'm not scared. I

guess suffering through three years of Engineering

has made me wiser and less anxious about it. I hope

'The Secret' works. All this positive energy, how can the

cosmos possibly ignore? ^_^ I just hope I was as

positive as this for my future US admissions,

Harvard? Stanford? Ha Piece of cake. Well, wiiiiish

that were it, the thing is, when you don't work hard

and still hope for the best, there's always that nagging

feeling in you that you may fail, your conscience

cannot ignore it. What my point is, I don't mean to

preach, its life Ok, my diary entries are starting to

get stupid; I better end this, Ill talk once my results

are out ^_^ Annyo


7/10

***

8:34 PM 8/18/2014

Er, sorry. Long time I know. I had promised myself

that I'd write my entry as soon as the results would be

out but...I didn't. My apologies. I passed btw. At this

point, I wasn t really afraid. Afraid that Ill fail that

is. The scores have always come out the way I've

predicted them to be. 'The Secret' worked after all ^_^

Right now I'm trying to crack my head over the lab

progs that I have to mug up for tomorrow. It's raining

heavily outside, it's a pity that the sky has darkened

so soon, thought I could enjoy a cuppa while it was still

light. :/

Hope in future, our hoobaes have a better life while

doing Engineering. Doingengineering? Babe,

Engineering does you.

Sad linethat above one.

Was I trying to make a joke?

Shrink, Im coming

***


8/10

9:09 PM 9/9/2014

Have two exams tomorrow, today's sucked, a bitch from

college sent a hate-mail which, surprisingly, doesn't

perturb me (although-according-to-human-laws, it-

should) and my hard-disk has stopped working. Can

life be anymore depppppppressing? No matter how

much I want to dock off those 'p's from the word

depression, the amount of work for tomo just makes me

want to add more. Okay, my entries are getting so

"intellectual" that they are borderline genius. Like I had

previously stated, I do need to see a shrink...from the

past two-three days I've been having a funny rash

throughout my body. It's not unbearable but there's

that nagging itchy sensation that no matter how

much I scrub myself while in the shower, it wont go

away :-/

So along with a shrink, I need to make a trip to the

medical doc too...skin or allergic specialist at that -.-

Hmmm...Currently listening to the song "I'm Sorry",

while occasionally of course, thinking about Kim

Hyun Joong as Gummy croons "Miiiiyyyaaanayoo "

(Which,btw, means 'sorry' in Korean :P) Noticed my

last diary was kinda dramatic so, Illbe honest here.


9/10


10/10

12/8/2014 11:36 PM

HmmmMust say dairy aka laptop entries are

funalthough the digitalized versions may never

match the authentic penned diaries, using a Nataraj

pencil or a coveted pen to pour your heart out on a white,

earthy textured paper of a diary book.

Xo

***

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