ha120705 helicopters australasia july 2012

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 Helicopters Australasia Page 1 July 2012 W We el l c co ome e t to Inaug gur a al l Ed di i t t i i o on  Australian Helicopter Industry Association has been formed to help an industry with growing pains. Industry growth rate is now 11.4% pa or three times that of the Australian economy Helicopter numbers doubled in ten years, from 980 to 1,964 At present growth rate fleet will double in only seven years The ME numbers will increase from 209 to 327 due to Asian orders for oil, gas and minerals End of FISCAL Year Report End of FISCAL Year 2011/2012 shows accelerating growth in the Australian helicopter industry is this good news? Up by 1.4%. The Civil Aviation Safety Authority (CASA) Aircraft Register at end of June 2012 showed the Australian helicopter fleet is undergoing an expansion which is showing no signs of abating. In the  previous year ending 30 Ju ne 2011, the growth rate had edged up to around 10%. The FISCAL year just ended has the growth rate at an all time high of 11.4%, which is three times that of the Australian economy. Helicopter numbers have doubled in ten years, from 980 to 1,964 and will double again in only seven years due to the accelerating rate of growth caused by the demands from Asia for energy and mineral resources. The SAR and HEMS operations are also increasing as the public demands improved emergency services in remote areas.  FW growth rate falls. The CASA Aircraft Register has moved from 14,462 over the past year to 14,749 an increase of 287 or 2% in the year. However, helicopters made up 182 of this increase. If the RW figures are removed, then the non-helicopter registrations grew by only less than 1% (0.7%). If the latest GDP figure of 4.3% is considered, then the FW growth rate in six ti mes less than the growth of the economy. Four new jobs every week? Helicopter enthusiasts will no doubt shout loudly about the rotary wing growth rate being at least ten times more than the “plank wings’ as they are known in the RW community. In theory 3.5 helicopters are added to the register every week since 1 July 2011, or over four new jobs each week, according to past studies. As a rough guide, each helicopter on the Register appears to create correspond to 1.3 commercial licences. Pistons improve their position.  All registrations increased from 1,782 to 1,964 an increase of 182 (11.4%). However, the piston fleet still dominates with an increase from 1,098 to 1,253, which is now 64% of the fleet. An extra 155 pistons entered service resulting in a growth rate of 14.1 %. Robinson has 59%. The Robinson Helicopter Company products were 998 (59% of fleet). The R22 model leads with 531; and is closely followed by the R44 with 467 registered. The rapid increase in the  R44 fleet, especially with private owners is following a worldwide trend. As you read this the Robinson registrations will have passed 1,000! The R44 will probably be number one within two to three years   a very happy OEM Trailing the Robinsons are the Bell 47 (78); Rotorway (51) and Hughes- Schweizer 269 at (53). Single engine turbines. The SE turbine numbers have slowed to a 3% growth, which is OK. Their numbers increased from 488 to 502, up only  by 14. Top five are Bell 20 6 (227); the AS350 (134); Hughes 369 (25); Eurocopter 120 (26) and OH-58 (18). Heavy helicopters gaining. Although the multi-engine (ME) group showed a marked increase over recent months, the annual rate was more realistic at 7.6%. Numbers increased from 196 to 211. It is anticipated the heavy industry in the north of Australia will push the ME growth rate beyond that of the lighter  piston fleet during the next two years. It is predicted the annual increase will be substantial around 2015 as the military outsource pilot training to the civilian industry. This will coincide with major oil and gas  projects entering their final development stages. Off shore demands will also increase, raising concerns about availability of staff; especially in engineers where many are now being poached by the mining companies. In June 2012, the top fi ve twin registrations were: Bell 412 (33); BK117 (31); S-76 (29) Eurocopter 332 (22) and AW139 (11). It is predicted the ME numbers will almost double from 211 to around 400 over the next seven years due to Asian needs for oil, gas and minerals. The transfer of Army and  Navy helicopter pilot training to a civilian contractor may drain the 30 Australian flying schools of highly experienced staff. Helicopters Australasia  July 2012  Th e Jour nal of the Au s tr ali an Heli copte r I ndus tr y As soc iati on 

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7/28/2019 HA120705 Helicopters Australasia July 2012

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 Helicopters Australasia Page 1 July 2012

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  Australian Helicopter

Industry Association hasbeen formed to help an

industry with growing pains.

Industry growth rate is now11.4% pa or three times that of 

the Australian economy

Helicopter numbers doubled inten years, from 980 to 1,964

At present growth rate fleet willdouble in only seven years

The ME numbers will increasefrom 209 to 327 due to Asian

orders for oil, gas and minerals

End of FISCAL Year Report

End of FISCAL Year 2011/2012shows accelerating growth inthe Australian helicopter 

industry –

is this good news?

Up by 1.4%. The Civil AviationSafety Authority (CASA) AircraftRegister at end of June 2012 showedthe Australian helicopter fleet isundergoing an expansion which isshowing no signs of abating. In the previous year ending 30 June 2011,the growth rate had edged up toaround 10%. The FISCAL year justended has the growth rate at an all

time high of 11.4%, which is threetimes that of the Australian economy.Helicopter numbers have doubled in

ten years, from 980 to 1,964 and willdouble again in only seven years due

to the accelerating rate of growthcaused by the demands from Asia for energy and mineral resources. TheSAR and HEMS operations are alsoincreasing as the public demandsimproved emergency services inremote areas. 

FW growth rate falls. The CASAAircraft Register has moved from14,462 over the past year to 14,749an increase of 287 or 2% in the year.

However, helicopters made up 182 of this increase. If the RW figures areremoved, then the non-helicopter registrations grew by only less than1% (0.7%). If the latest GDP figureof 4.3% is considered, then the FWgrowth rate in six times less than thegrowth of the economy.

Four new jobs every week? 

Helicopter enthusiasts will no doubtshout loudly about the rotary wing

growth rate being at least ten timesmore than the “plank wings’ as theyare known in the RW community. Intheory 3.5 helicopters are added tothe register every week since 1 July2011, or over four new jobs eachweek, according to past studies. As arough guide, each helicopter on theRegister appears to create correspondto 1.3 commercial licences.

Pistons improve their position. 

All registrations increased from1,782 to 1,964 an increase of 182(11.4%). However, the piston fleetstill dominates with an increase from1,098 to 1,253, which is now 64% of the fleet. An extra 155 pistonsentered service resulting in a growthrate of 14.1 %.

Robinson has 59%. The RobinsonHelicopter Company products were998 (59% of fleet). The R22 model

leads with 531; and is closelyfollowed by the R44 with 467registered. The rapid increase in the 

R44 fleet, especially with privateowners is following a worldwide

trend. As you read this the Robinsonregistrations will have passed 1,000!The R44 will probably be number one within two to three years – a veryhappy OEM

Trailing the Robinsons are the Bell47 (78); Rotorway (51) and Hughes-Schweizer 269 at (53).

Single engine turbines. The SEturbine numbers have slowed to a 3%growth, which is OK. Their numbers

increased from 488 to 502, up only by 14. Top five are Bell 206 (227);the AS350 (134); Hughes 369 (25);Eurocopter 120 (26) and OH-58 (18).

Heavy helicopters gaining. Although the multi-engine (ME)group showed a marked increaseover recent months, the annual ratewas more realistic at 7.6%. Numbersincreased from 196 to 211. It isanticipated the heavy industry in the

north of Australia will push the MEgrowth rate beyond that of the lighter  piston fleet during the next twoyears. It is predicted the annualincrease will be substantial around2015 as the military outsource pilottraining to the civilian industry. Thiswill coincide with major oil and gas projects entering their finaldevelopment stages. Off shoredemands will also increase, raisingconcerns about availability of staff;

especially in engineers where manyare now being poached by the miningcompanies. In June 2012, the top fivetwin registrations were: Bell 412(33); BK117 (31); S-76 (29)Eurocopter 332 (22) and AW139(11). It is predicted the ME numberswill almost double from 211 toaround 400 over the next seven yearsdue to Asian needs for oil, gas andminerals. The transfer of Army and Navy helicopter pilot training to a

civilian contractor may drain the 30Australian flying schools of highlyexperienced staff.

Helicopters Australasia   July 2012  

The Journal of the Australian Heli copter I ndustry Association 

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 Helicopters Australasia Page 2 July 2012

Editorial

By Rob Rich, Editor 

E: [email protected]

Inaugural Editorial

Welcome to the first edition of Heli copters Australasia.We aresupporting the development of theAustralian Helicopter IndustryAssociation (AHIA) now beingformed during the latter part of 2012.

The AHIA will be ready as a newand vibrant body for their “officiallaunch” at the Avalon Airshow 2013which runs from 26 February to 3March 2013, at Avalon Airport, near Melbourne, Victoria, Australia.

Heli copters Australasia is produced by Cranford Publications Pty Ltd.We are helping the AHIA achieve itsgoals by providing a newsletter toensure their membership has access

to the latest news and technical data.Hopefully, this will help individuals,operators, corporations and variousregulators, such as CASA keepabreast of changes and opinionswithin the helicopter community.

As you are aware there are manyexcellent helicopter magazinescovering major feature stories. Weare filling the gap by providingtimelier technical and business

orientated news service. We have thecapability to distribute urgent CASAAD advices or items if intense publicinterest within minutes of it comingto our attention.

Simple pdf format. As aninformation newsletter we are notfollowing the other helicopter magazines that have the resources to print feature articles supported byhigh quality photographs. These

glossy magazines make good coffeetable displays and have very talentedgraphic designers. Some have long

lead times and deadlines. They haveto avoid fast moving news storieswhich quickly date. By comparisonwe are a technical industry focussednewsletter, called a “Trade Journal” in Australia. Our simple pdf file usesa larger font on white paper and iseasily printed if needed.

Going back to go forward. As anaside, the rush to go digital has hurtmany magazines in all professions.Large pictures and small fontswithin large areas of empty whitespace (a current fashion) makesreading tiresome on screen. But thatis progress I suppose, we have keptto an older concept, using a basic 11 point Times New Roman font. Thuswe get more news and commentary

onto every page, keeping our pdf fileas small as possible. If readers arehaving trouble reading the news, thenwe can try the Arial font which oftenworks better on some screens.

 AHIA news. The AHIA will haveunlimited space to promote their activities and provide feedback onany current issues to all the industry.

Data bases. Our CASA follows the

Australian Financial Year in their reporting protocols. The FISCALyear is from 1 July to 30 June 2012.Data bases will show latest figuresfrom our regulators, and other sources. Often a comparison to pastfigures is used. We also monitor NewZealand’s data as they are leading theworld for RW ownership per head of  population.

Heli-List. A handy list of service

 providers will be developed in adirectory format. Your listing willinitially be free; however, we have tomeet our costs and create revenue for the AHIA to cover administrationexpenses. Later a small fee or donation will be required for fundraising to ensure AHIA’s growth. At present we have a list of around1,100 overseas and 600 Australian people and companies who haveasked for more information on the

AHIA after reading previousnewsletters, thus we are able to help!Your feedback is most welcome …. 

Website. We are seeking a sponsor to build a website. The generosity of the team at www.bladeslapper.com has also helped the AHIA’s efforts incommunicating with industry.

SSSTTTOOOPPP PPPRRREEESSSSSS 

Queensland Police Helicopter 

A suggested funding backflip hasraised questions about whether thenew Queensland Government will beable to deliver on its election promiseto buy two new police helicopters,after the Queensland Police Servicewas told it would need to fund the$18 million cost from its budget.Queensland Police Union presidentIan Leavers, who praised the LNP's promises during the electioncampaign, said he was confident

funding would be found for thehelicopters. “With more than $15million underspent in the QPS budgetin the last financial year, there is plenty of room to accommodate thisvital law and order commitment,” Mr Leavers said. “We need to remember the QPU has campaigned for almost10 years to have a police helicopter and the previous QPS budgetunderspends more than allowed for this vital policing resource.''

One of the options the Government is believed to be considering is a sell-off of land owned by the policeservice throughout the state.

Industry observers have stated the police need four, rather than two now proposed. The Brisbane region is alarge area. The distances between Noosa in the north to Coolangatta inthe south and west to Toowoomba

are very considerable. The fourthwould be maintenance reserve and onstandby for a major search or chase.

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 Helicopters Australasia Page 3 July 2012

Birth of industry association

Sad loss  – Gary Ti cehur st 

When ABC helicopter pilot Gary

Ticehurst and his crew were lost in anight accident near Lake Eyre inAugust 2011, many older pilotsreflected on his past efforts (andthose of others) in helping to developan association over the past 30 years.

The Helicopter Association of Australia (HAA) was incorporated in NSW, 1984 after a dispute with

CASA over the Sydney CBD atDarling Harbour. Gary took over thehelm in 1990 and drove the HAAalong either as the president or as acommittee member. As a volunteer,Gary persevered with important projects on our behalf. He had theability to communicate well andsettle people down with his cheerfulsmile if a dispute was in progress.

Many felt his work, and the effortsother generations of presidents since

should not be lost when the HAAcollapsed in 2008, after servingindustry for a quarter of a century.But it has taken Gary’s death to jolt

 people into doing something positivefor the industry once again.

Thus move to establish AHIA.

Today, the industry is 600% larger than it was when the HAA wasformed in 1984. Since 2008 we have

had no voice. The regulators needhelp when designing new rules. Wecan help on behalf of our members.

AHIA convenor, Rob Rich becameHAA president in 2002. At theconclusion of Rotortech 2006 hehanded over the HAA to the last

 president. The incoming executivetried to change the business model byemploying salaried staff. However, itappears this plan was hit by theGlobal Financial Crisis of 2008 andsuffered badly as a result. The HAA passed away late in 2008, aged 26.

It is anticipated registration of theAHIA will be completed by July2012 and an inaugural executiveappointed at a meeting soon after.The new executive will be tasked

with updating the draft constitutionafter further canvass industry onissues which are troubling operators.

Convenor Rob Rich said he wasaware of a lot of pressure pointsobstructing development of thehelicopter industry. They range froma need to seek training and businessopportunities for Australiancompanies in Asian countries - to areview of the enormous disaffection by key players about long delays andinefficiencies with CASA pilotlicensing and examination systems.

The AHIA has approached theorganisers of the Avalon Airshow2013 to see if another Helicopter Showcase can be organised to promote the industry to Australianand overseas visitors.

The first of these very successfulevents occurred in 2003 and allowedour helicopter industry to display arange of helicopters within the mainexhibition area.

The organisers kindly providedtents and conference rooms for 

helicopter people to gather and runeducation, career and technicalconferences. It was a fun event!

It is anticipated the official launch of the AHIA will take place at Avalon

Airshow 2013. By that time the finalconstitution will have been sorted outand an industry friendly structurecreated with key players who arespecialists in their field.

Surprise GDP figures. In earlyJune, financial experts were confusedwhen the Reserve Bank indicated agloomy forecast for our economy andthen reduced the official interest rateto 3.5%. A few days later the

Australian Government released theannual Gross Domestic Product(GDP) figures which showed theeconomy is growing at 4.3%; itsfastest annual rate since the start of the global financial crisis aroundSeptember 2007. The June figureswere a complete surprise as everyonewas expecting a slowdown in our economy following the unstableevents in Europe and the perceptionChina was experiencing an economic

slowdown.

Go north young people? Theincrease in GDP was caused, by theeconomic boom in three areas; the Northern Territory recorded a growthrate of 13.8%, Queensland 9% andWestern Australia 7.7%.

This good news has caused somedegree of optimism in the helicopter industry as these three areas havearound 1,200 helicopters (60%) of 

the 1,964 rotorcraft on the CASAAircraft Register. Queensland leadswith 715 helicopters; Western

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 Helicopters Australasia Page 4 July 2012

Australia has 310 and the NorthernTerritory 175.

Most of the these helicopters areoperated by 92 Air OperatorsCertificate (AOC) holders inQueensland, 30 in Western Australiaand 13 in Northern Territory,representing 52% of the Australianhelicopter AOC holders.

It is hoped the expansion of theenergy and mining boom in the northof Australia will continue and drive

up the demand for helicopters to aneven higher level than the presentannual growth rate of 11.4%.

Today the helicopter fleet isvalued at around $3,500 billion!

Huge profits being earned. TheABC News service recently statedthe 40 mining companies who arecommencing a major expansion of their capacity within Queensland hadaccumulated a profit of $133 billion

in the last year. These figures arereally quite extraordinary even beforethe bulk of the on-site workers areyet to arrive!

The AHIA also believes there has been little discussion about the fly-infly-out workers who may need RWtransportation from the nearestregional airports to the far-awaymining sites and back.

Hopefully, this could be anopportunity to introduce larger helicopters to facilitate the movementof specialist (expensive) technicalstaff between the outlying industrialsites and the regional airport, wherethe passengers would then connectwith their return flight to the capitalcities, etc.

 AHIA not a union. The not-for- profit AHIA will provide a wider coverage of industry than the

 previous HAA which was basically a pilots’ association. In the past, thissuited the needs of an industry then

operating relatively unsophisticatedrotorcraft, where logistic andmaintenance support requirementswere minimal. Today, moreexpensive and technically advancedhelicopters are coming into serviceand the logistical and technical support industry has developed

substantially, due to the increasingnumber of civilian and militaryheavy helicopters.

 AHIA structure. AHIA has proposed their structure will includea National Executive, six Brancheswhich will mirror the CASA boundaries and Divisions focussingon the specific development of newoperational roles, advances intechnology and industry groups, such

as: SAR, HEMS, off shore,mustering, training, police & CASAregulatory review of NPRM, etc.

International links. The AHIAwill also cover the internationalaviation community by monitoring atleast a dozen other rotorcraftassociations. The US based HAI, in particular, has a long history of working with Australians. The aim of the overseas links is to be part of theenormous growth in helicopter training activities which will occur inthe Asian region, in much the sameway as Australia supported the Asia-Pacific airline industry pilot training programmes.

Convenors Desk Notes. Onceagain I must thank the Bladeslapper Management once again for allowingthe steering committee to see if theAHIA should be formed or not. Thereplies at www.bladeslapper.com have been carefully filed away and,in addition, we have received anenormous amount of interest from people replying directly by e-mailoffering assistance as we develop. In particular some of these very highlyqualified people are offering their services to assist the variousdivisions when they are formed.

At the beginning we have to come

up with some form of structure. Most people are happy with the branches

following the CASA boundaries. Butsilence on Divisions!!

At present the Constitution is beingdrafted for a registration which willtake place this month.

What we are not getting back is the nomination of divisions.

In anticipation, we have contactedmany people and also beenapproached by numerous folks whowould like to participate in suchthings as:

 Awards. Reviewing the currentawards used in our industry andmediate in discussions with theAFAP, etc. (We are not a union andcannot be such; but we can observe

and advise as required.Insurance. Updating our 

knowledge on the various options for insuring helicopters and businessactivities.

Trauma insurance. A better wayto obtain trauma insurance which can be built into your superannuation andnot be job tested.

Technology. Explore newtechnology such as the developmentof helicopter UAV technology which

is now here and operating. Aerial filming. Gathering hi tech

 photo and video specialists to promote the booming imagegathering industry.

 Avalon Airshow. Our launch atthe Avalon Airshow 2013 will hostsome conventions for the heavy endof the industry related to offshore andsearch and rescue with helicopters.

Mustering industry. Encouragemeetings or groups of people whowould like to talk about issues withinthe mustering industry, which probably flies more hours than anyother activity. Almost half of our machines operate in this industry,and each year fly more hours thanany other segment, despite onlyworking from late March to October in most areas.

Other associations. Establishlinks with other associations in

Australia and those around the Asianregion, to train their people here andnot Europe or USA.

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 Helicopters Australasia Page 5 July 2012

Work in progress – AHIA. Rebuildthe Australia net work with the HAIand other safety organisation.

Accept input from corporations whowant to know more of our industry;such as leasing, insurance, auditingand other compliance providers.

Also re-establishing a strongrelationship with the military inrelation to routine activities involvingthe Army and Navy helicopter pilottraining operations and also thefuture of the of the 30 helicopter schools who may suffer when theADF contract is started.

We have had several meetings withlarge organisations who train

apprentices that lead into the LAMEand AME skill sets, and try anddetermine why there was such a lack of response to advertising for theseskills courses. Perhaps because people know so little about thehelicopter industry, that a potentialengineer or technician tend to gotowards the airlines or the aeroplaneorganisations when seeking aviationas a career.

In a few weeks we are attendingseveral meetings to determine fromthe data you have seen onBladeslapper if we can reallydetermine how many engineers weactually need in the future and wherethey will come from?

Does this mean some sort of strategywith from the AHIA to alert Stateand Federal governments of our  pending problems and what we needto do to achieve this objective?

The Avalon Airshow 2013 will bethe launch pad for the association andwork is well advanced to sort our venues, displays and conferences. Inanticipation, we have been contactingvarious organisations to suggest if our divisional structure shows a needfor their expertise are they preparedto feature on the speakers program atAvalon so we can learn a little moreabout how we need to grow and our industry.

Fortunately, the response has beenmost encouraging. We just need toget our divisional structure listed sothis program can be firmed a littlemore – hint, hint?

Last but not least. In last Friday’s Australian newspaper we saw a

danger sign when a miningorganisation was advertising for aircraft LAME’s - to come over andhave their qualifications acceptedwithin the mining industry to fillvacancies that are now emerging.

On the training front we know thereis a shortage of instructors and it isgoing to get worse. At the same timewe are looking at why studentnumbers in flying schools currently

relatively low, when compared to previous times. We are heading intoa pilot shortage as indicated by boththe CASA various insuranceorganisations.

Is this a problem associated withthe mining boom in the north of Australia where 60% of thehelicopter resources are located? At present we just do not know. It ishoped the AHIA will find somebody

who can help us see where we needto go to overcome this problem.

There are planned meetings withCASA to review matters concerningoperational performance standards of heavy helicopters in the future; theintroduction of the 133 & 142 rulesand also the new CAAP 92.

We must accept the fact we arehurtling down the path to translate a

lot of our operational standards intothose used within Europe and theUnited States. JAR legislation hasmany gotchas. Some standards willneed to be addressed before they become law!

What would you do if we followthe European rules all the waythrough without any comment andfind we may not be able to fly single-engine helicopters across a city area.

This also requires a subcommittee tolook at that sort of thing.

In addition were trying to identify people who can comment on therewriting of the instructors manualwhich I understand will released inthe new format. Who is goingthrough this on behalf of industry?

And of course safety? Why is the

helicopter accident rating in NewZealand only half of our rate? Is thisthe fact they have a 150 hour commercial course and not the 105hour course we have at present.

Why are so many students failingthe CPL examinations? The syllabushas not changed, the examinationsystem appears to be much the same,(even with all its warts), and yet thefailure rate is increasing? Many

seasoned instructors are indicating itis the lack of motivation of peoplecoming to the training courses where“application” is suspect. Are theycorrect? If so why?

In the meantime we have to seek funds from sponsors and get theAssociation up and running whichtakes time. By the end of this monthwe hope the battle with ASIC theATO to form a not-for-profit

association will be finished. Itrequires a lot of paperwork.

You can subscribe to our 

free monthly newsletters.

Send your subscription

request to email below.

 Your contact informationis totally confidential!

We will soon have usefuldata bases on Australian

and New Zealand

helicopters and a summary

of changes to the fleets,

with listings on changes.

Australian Helicopter Industry

Association

PO Box 1796

Carindale 4152 Australia

E: [email protected]

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 Helicopters Australasia Page 6 July 2012

A photo taken from a helicopter ona cattle station in the heart of Gulf Country has won acclaim for Townsville Bulletin photographer Evan Morgan, who won the overall photography prize at the Excellencein Rural Media Award for this

image, Ghost Muster.

The photo, published lastSeptember, was taken at theindigenous-owned Delta DownsStation about 60km north of  Normanton, Queensland.

"It was taken about 7am and it was just going to be a routine photographof cattle being mustered," Mr Morgan later said, according to the

Bulletin. "But once the dust startedrising, it looked like it was a ghostmuster.”It's just one of those rareoccasions where everything cametogether and you get some magical photographs."

Mr Morgan said coordination waskey. "You've got to communicatewith the helicopter pilot, who might be chasing cattle, and get them to tryand move into position so you can

take the best photos."

Well done Evan - Editor 

 ATSB Update On theevening of 27 July 2011,the owner-pilot of aRobinson Helicopter Co.

R22 helicopter, registeredVH-YOL, was on a localflight from Big Rock Dam to Brooking Springshomestead near FitzroyCrossing, WA. The pilotwas reported missing andthe wreckage of thehelicopter was located thefollowing day, 14 kmnorth-west of FitzroyCrossing township. The

helicopter was seriouslydamaged and the pilotsustained fatal injuries.The pilot was attemptingto fly visually at low

level on a dark night in an area thatdid not contain any local groundlighting. About halfway into theflight, the pilot inadvertently allowedthe helicopter to develop a high rateof descent, resulting in a collisionwith terrain.

The investigation found that the pilotwas operating at night without the

appropriate training or qualificationin a helicopter that was not suitablyequipped. An examination of thehelicopter found no evidence of any pre-existent defects or anomalies.

 No organisational or systemic issueswere identified that might adverselyaffect the future safety of aviationoperations. However, the accidenthighlighted the significant risk tonon-night-qualified pilots of spatial

disorientation and subsequentcollision with terrain whenattempting visual operations at night.

Carbon tax to hit cattlemustering industry hard. Fuelcompanies have started to notify their customers that the price of aviationfuel for mustering cattle will rise.

 Northern Territory Cattleman’sAssociation President DavidWarriner said the government’s

decision not to extend the taxexemption to on-property aviationfuel was “another blow to thestruggling northern cattle industry”.“This is on top of last year’s liveexport ban which effectively shutdown the northern industry and theflow on of that impact is stillaccelerating, with Indonesian importquotas for Australian cattle at an alltime low” Mr Warriner said. 

Fuel companies say the rise will bearound 9 cents per litre from July 1. Note: R22 uses 33 litres and the R4460 litres per hour. (About $3 and $6  per hour  – Ed)“This will not only increase the dir ectcosts for those cattle stations thatoperate their own aircraft but also thecompanies that supply musteringservices to the industry. “It will

increase the cost of production,forcing savings in other areas such as

labour,” Mr Warriner said. “It will also increase the cost of other essential operations such as firemanagement and monitoring; weedand pest management survey andcontrol programs. “Many of theseoperations relate to the overallwellbeing and environmentalintegrity of northern Australia,making the revenue raised throughthe tax a false economy.” 

While the NTCA applauded the

government’s decision to exemptother on-property fuel from thecarbon tax, the possibility of on roadtransport fuel being taxed from 2014is causing serious concern.

“Freight is a major part of the costof doing business with the transportof goods and services in, andlivestock out, over long distances,”Mr Warriner said. “These costs willnot only further stress families and business viability but also the

competitiveness of our industry inthe domestic and internationalmarkets on which we depend.” 

MMMuuusssttteeer r r iiinnngg NNNeeewwwsss 

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 Helicopters Australasia Page 7 July 2012

Growth slows. About a decade ago,the NZ industry was growing at thesame rate as Australia in the 6 to 7%annual range. Today, Australia has

moved to a rate of 11.4% pa. At present NZ fleet numbers haveslipped back to 776 over recentmonths. It is expected this decreasewill continue until the touristindustry gets over the woes of recentyears, due in part to the GFC.

Top five. The Hughes/Schweizer 369 (87) has taken first place fromthe AS350 (86). There are also Bell206 (59), and Eurocopter 120 (12)

machines on the NZ register. MEmachines include AS355 (15) andBK117 (14). About 6% of NZ fleet inME; by comparison Australia’s MEfigure has increased recently to 11%.

 Australia sixth in world, butfirst in Asia. On the world stage,Australia is rated sixth (1,964) and New Zealand tenth (776). Lookingto the north to Asia, there are veryfew helicopters. China has only 150,Thailand and Malaysia total less than100 each, and PNG probably has lessthan 200. India would have only onethird of NZ’s total, say less than 300.

China awakening. China has thecapacity to emerge as a world leader in helicopter ownership during the

next half century? This provides a possible market of internationalflying schools that may be able to do business in China – a hard task!

Bell to open helicopter flightschool in China. Bell Helicopter has signed a memorandum of understanding to open an authorizedflight training school in China. TheFort Worth, Texas-based helicopter manufacturer will partner with

Guanchen Aviation, which alreadymanages a CAAC approved flighttraining school in Anyang, China.

The companies signed the MOUduring the opening ceremony of thefourth annual Anyang InternationalAviation Sports Festival in Anyang,where the new school will be based.It will be certified to provide factoryinitial and recurrent type training for Bell 206L and Bell 407 pilots.

Bell 407 helicopter 

Over time, they could expand tooffer training in more Bell aircrafttypes to meet future demands. Bellsaid as the need for vertical liftemerges around the world, we intendto replicate the successful operationof the Bell Helicopter TrainingAcademy, located in Fort Worth.Initially, all training will be done inhelicopters, as opposed to simulators.

CASA has 947 current Air Operators’ Certificate holders of which 259 are helicopter. Althoughwe only have 13% of the overallaircraft fleet, we have 28% of theAOCs. Charter numbers are 190(74%) of which 15 (6%) haveinternational approvals. This latter group is entering a growth phase dueto energy exploration operations

 planned in north of Australia. The large mustering industry has 69(27%) of aerial work AOC.

General Aviation Unity 

A major GA fly-in planned for September this year is aimed at bringing all of general aviationtogether in one place. AUSFLY,organised by the Sports AircraftAssociation of Australia, isscheduled for Narromine from 14-16

September 2012, and is targetingeverything with wings from warbirdsand private GA to helicopters,gliders, balloons and recreationalaircraft.

This massive undertaking willinvolve maintenance seminars,workshops, flying displays and

entertainment in the evening. At thistime, the program is only tentative, but the SAAA is confident of havingaerobatics by Paul Bennet (Pitts S1)and Tony Blair (Rebel 300), awarbird line-up including anAvenger, Mustang and Hawker Seafury, and at the moment are talking tothe RAAF about the Roulettes.

SAAA Vice President DavidBrown says the aim of AUSFLY is togive Australian pilots a world-classfly-in. We are aiming to build asmaller version of the EAA’sOshkosh Air Venture. The purpose of this is to unite Australia’s private andsport aviation groups, their membersand the suppliers to industry at onevenue for several days of education,entertainment and the building of good will among all.

General Aviation in Australia haslacked anything of this kind, we see

the great event that RAAus put on for their members, and other air showssuch as Avalon and Wide Bay whichhave a different focus, and nothingthat is aimed squarely at private and business and sport GA. Sport GAincludes everything from heavymachines such as warbirds, to lightmachines such as those in the gyroand RAAus groups or gliders andhang gliders. The folk who have beenmissing out, though, have been the

VH-registered privately operatedfleet." The idea for the eventstemmed from the 2011 SAAAconvention, when discussions thatincluded CASA GA Task Force bossPeter John concluded that a closer working relationship between GAorganisations was needed to breathelife back into the industry.

A major Oshkosh-like event wasconsidered a good step towardsachieving this. "So the SAAA

council took the initiative," Brownrecalls, "and contacted a few of themajor GA organisations to rally

NZ NEWS

ASIA

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support. We are proud to say that theAustralian Warbirds Association andAOPA have jumped on board to helpmake this happen. We also haveactive participation from many of thesport organisations as well, so it has become a great success before westart!" More information on

AUSFLY including accommodation,displays and a convention dinner can be found on the AUSFLYwebsite www.ausfly.com.au. 

Sikorsky S-92 gets sea legs The FAA has approved the SikorskyS-92 for sea state 6 (SS6) conditions,meaning up to 20-foot waves. Thanksto additional sponson floats, theS-92’s emergency flotation system becomes the first one to be FAA

certified for SS6, according toSikorsky. “This system was designed by the S-92 landing-gear designgroup, with close coordination withelectrical and airframe design andstructural analysis,” said Ben DelMonte, chief of propulsion/landinggear/mission systems. The companytested the system, using a one-tenthscale model, at a U.S. Army facilityin Maryland. Also tested was a large-sponson configuration, which metSS6 conditions with only the baselinethree floats. When this option isdeveloped, the extra buoyancy of thelarger sponson will save the cost andweight of the additional sponsonfloats, Sikorsky said. Late last year,AgustaWestland revealed it had alsosuccessfully tested, in Europe, anAW139 model to simulated SS6. Themedium twin’s flight manual nowrefers to SS6. Some operators have

 pointed out that the regulation doesnot call for “irregular waves” to betried.

India’s new Russian carrierfinally launched. The INSVikramaditya, formerly a Russiancruiser, left Severodvinsk harbor recently for sea trials. By onemeasure, more than 32 years in themaking, India’s new aircraft carrier, 

sailed into the White Sea for trials, including takeoffs and landings of 

Mikoyan MiG-29K/KUB fightersand Kamov Ka-27 helicopters. 

The 45,300-tonne vessel was laiddown under the name of Baku in1978, at the Nikolaev ShipbuildingPlant on the Black Sea coast. After the breakup of the Soviet Union itwas rechristened the AdmiralGorshkov and served until

decommissioning in 1998. Thenthe Gorshkov was offered to India asan alternative to an Invincible-class“Harrier carrier” from the UK.Given proper maintenance, it willstay in service for up to 40 years.The ship’s hangar is 420 feet long, 82feet wide and 23 feet high and canstore up to 34 MiGs and Kamovs

US 2012 hiring recovering. Thenumber of job opportunities for maintenance personnel increased inthe first part of this year, according toan annual survey. The report statedmodest hiring was anticipated; butthe results surprised us,” according toJeff Richards, business developmentmanager for JSfirm.com.

These 671 aviation industry-related companies responded,

reflecting the entire industry andincluding RW and fixed-wingoperators, air carriers, OEMs andrepair stations. It was noted that inthe first quarter, there were 47 percent more jobs posted than duringthe same period last year.

On May 15, the industry hadalready surpassed the 2011 number  by 30 percent across the board.

Twenty-five percent of thecompanies said they’d be hiringmaintenance personnel and another 10 percent said they’d be hiring

avionics technicians. The number-one request in the maintenance fieldis for sheet metal repair & fabricator technicians. They’re looking for 10years’ experience but in this market

they’re taking people with two years’experience. Pilots were in highdemand it was noted.

Probe into EC225 North Seaditching centres on gearbox The EASA issued an emergencyAirworthiness Directive for Eurocopter EC225 medium-twinhelicopters, requiring operators toclosely monitor vibrations.The emergency action stems from a

May 10 incident involving an EC225operated by Bond OffshoreHelicopters, which safely ditched,with 14 on board, into the North Sea.Under the AD, those EC225s notequipped with vibration healthmonitoring are restricted to day VFR for flights over water. The BondEC225 investigation is focusing onthe failures of two main gearboxlubrication systems – standard and back-up. According to the UK’s Air 

Accidents Investigation Branch theevent began when the main gearboxoil pressure gauge indicated zero.The crew initiated a descent and thenactivated the emergency lubricationsystem. However, the warning lightfor this system, designed to allow 30min of flight, quickly illuminated, prompting the pilots’ decision toditch. After the incident, Bondsuspended EC225 and later AS332L2Super Puma flights. The AAIB

identified a 360-deg circumferentialcrack in the bevel gear vertical shaftin the main gearbox.

This caused disengagement of bothmechanical (standard) oil pumps. OnMay 15, Bond announced theresumption of all flights. This wasthe result of “a rigorous engineeringanalysis and safety risk assessment.

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Why does SMS seem socomplicated? Because safety is anever-ending quest, a safetymanagement system (SMS) oftencalls for a cultural change. Andchanges take time. But just hearingthe SMS acronym is enough to makemany industry folks roll their eyesand sigh, thinking surely safetymanagement systems must beworking by now. Renee Dupont-Adam isn’t so sure. She’s presidentof System Safety Services, aCanadian provider of complete SMS programs. “We try to simplify a SMS by looking at the little things, like

documenting what a flightdepartment is already doing,” shesaid. Dupont-Adam recently penneda list of a dozen simple reasons whyeven the best-organized safetymanagement system can fail:

• The organization’s executives don’ttake SMS seriously.• The regulatory body is notcompletely sure what to do.• Senior executives fail to motivate

middle management.• The organization simply copiessomeone else’s manuals.• Human factors and SMS trainingare never factored into the process.• A SMS is put into place, but noone participates.• There is no administrative policy in place anywhere.• The system becomes swamped withhazard reports.• The organization provides little or 

no feedback to employees.• The organization has a high risk tolerance.• The organization has no idea howto set realistic goals.• The organization has no idea how itwill actually know if the program issuccessful.

Global helicopter industrywants to reduce accidents by80%. Kim Smith, representing the

International Helicopter Safety Team(IHST), said the group, “wants toreduce helicopter accidents 80 percent by 2016.” The IHST iscalling on the entire helicopter industry for help in achievingthis goal.

After analysing 523 accidents that

occurred in 2000, 2001 and 2006,IHST found that single-engineturbine helicopters accounted for half the accidents analysed, while multi-engine turbines represented another 10 percent. The remainder were piston-powered rotorcraft.

The results, when measured byindustry type, showed nearly 20 percent of all helicopter accidents fellinto the personal or private category,while 18 percent occurred duringinstructional or training operations.Despite high-profile media attention,only eight percent of helicopter accidents were attributable toemergency medical servicesoperations. 41 percent involved lossof control. Smith, who is also anFAA employee, said we are notfinding new ways to kill people inhelicopters.

IHST: We are making the same

mistakes over and over again

 AHIA annual membership.

After considering Bladeslapper postson this topic. Many good ideas weresent to us, thanks. We will start smalland work within our small budget

and hope we can obtain somesponsorship from kind hearted peoplewho can see the benefit the newassociation will bring to our industryin the coming years.

The committeeswill be all-volunteer.

For joining within the 2012/2013FISCAL year suggest annualmembership of (AUD$):

Concession, student or retiree, etc-$55.00 (Non-voting).

Ordinary membership - $110.00

Company – non AOC holder -$330.00

Company – AOC holder - $550.00

Sponsors – any offers are gladly

welcome and may be graded as per the arrangements used by other associations. Bronze, Silver, Gold or anonymous as needed. More later.

Your contributions will support thedevelopment of the AHIA as listed in previous threads.

In addition, a monthly newsletter will be sent electronically each month for ten months. Jan/Feb and Nov/Dec arecombined.

Hard copy can be requested; an extra$55 will be added to membership feefor printing and postage, etc.

Companies will be included in theHeli-List section of the newsletter.

Eventually a Directory will beavailable with all Australian and

most NZ helicopter information,updated from government eachmonth.

Fees can be paid after we establishour bank accounts and the AHIAregistration process with ASIC andthe ATO, etc.

 _____________________________ 

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With k ind permi ssion of our sponsor 

the Aviator Magazine, please see 

www.aviatormag.com.au 

Winter woes – helicopterinadvertent IMC

and night accidents

The mustering season is now in fullswing as the overseas markets aredemanding more beef. This is alsoour winter, the days are much shorter and the temptation to relocate after dark has often proved fatal. Thisarticle looks at the dangers of flyingat night when you are not qualified or equipped to do so. Based on an

accident which occurred severaldecades ago.

Tom' s last  flight …….. 

Tom slammed down the telephoneand cursed his boss. Glancing acrossthe kitchen, he hoped the grazier’swife did not hear him swearing.Mildred looked up from her TV programme and saw Tom'sexpression, "What is the matter Tom?" asked Mildred. "My bosswants me to be at Purple Downs by

first light to start their muster”. “ButTom that is about two hours flyingtime away and it is already dark!""I can do it, I have flown at night before - and it is a clear night"muttered Tom. "I will go, pack andhead off - thanks for everything."

Mildred looked across the room inthe direction of Tom's footsteps andfelt a chilly draft flow across theroom; it seemed to follow after Tom- a premonition? The night sky wasclear and the air was still. A few starsmanaged to penetrate the dust haze,

which had been bad all day duringthe muster. Being a moonless night,Tom could not see two thin layers of cloud, the first at 3,000 feet and a

wispy layer several thousand feetabove now approaching onto his planned track.

As he lifted off he avoided theconcerned expressions on the facesof his hosts, graziers Mildred andBill. All the visiting pilots knewMildred was a good cook andmothered the younger pilots startingout on their mustering career.

He took off from the wellilluminated helipad and climbed

away from the homestead towardsPurple Downs.

Tom found he had to reallyconcentrate on his flying as hemoved suddenly into thesurrounding darkness, which washard work as he had not yet gainedhis night vision.

The two-seat R22 RobinsonHelicopter was relatively light withonly Tom’s swag on the passenger’sseat. As a result the R22 climbed

easily in the cool night air. Tomsettled down to flying by hismagnetic compass and controlled hisattitude by reference to a few lightson the ground and the stars above.

However, the dust haze madeidentification of these lights difficult, but he had to make his next job "or no job" according to his boss. Thehorizon was hard to make out as thefew ground lights seem to seamlessly joint with the stars, also struggling toshine through the dust haze.

In his haste to get away, Tom'sswag was not strapped into the seatas tight as he wished and he reachedacross to tuck in the liner which hadfallen out of the cover. Tom grabbedhis flashlight to illuminate what hewas doing. Leaning across thecockpit and devoting his attention between the swag, compass andalmost invisible horizon made Tom

feel a little dizzy. This was probablyaggravated by the flashlightreflections on perspex windows

which were degrading his nightvision and general orientation.

Suddenly Tom heard a change inairflow noise and saw the engine

manifold pressure falling. Glancingacross at the air speed indicator (IAS), he saw his speed wasdecreasing and altitude wasincreasing. Sensing something waswrong he looked outside and notedhe could not see the ground lights or the stars. In fact, it was eerie,everything was black, not a light insight – no horizon at all!

Realising he was in trouble; Tomlooked at the compass again and saw

it was turning rapidly, the IAS wasnow zero. Pushing the nose forwardto regain his speed, he felt his headhitting the door as the IAS suddenlysprang to life, indicating over 90 kns.

The last thing Tom saw in this lifewas his map case floating up to thecabin roof, spilling out his pens andwallet. A loud bang came from therear, followed by a violent yaw as thenose pitched down. But for Tom itdid not matter - he was already dead -

a rotor blade had severed his head,the wreckage fell from 3,000 feet andwas scattered over a large area.

Tom had become disorientated andthe rest is history. The official reportsaid he had flown between two layersof cloud, thus losing lost all externalvisual reference. But the report didmention those obvious things such asno forecast, no night rating,helicopter devoid of any flightinstruments suitable for night visualflight rules (NVFR), poor visibility,flying from visual metrologicalconditions (VMC) into instrumentmetrological conditions (IMC),stress, fatigue, etc.

Sadly, j ust another case of 

inadvertent IMC! 

RRReeemmmooottteee aaar r r eeeaaa nnniiiggghhhttt ooopppeeer r r aaatttiiiooonnnsss 

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So what is IMC? InstrumentMeteorological Conditions are present when things are not goodenough for the Visual Flight Rules toapply. There are many situations where the rules vary, usually relatedto different altitudes and the type of airspace you are flying within by day

and night. The main danger to the pilot is that he may lose control andfly into the ground - we call thiscontrolled flight into terrain.

More likely, he will lose sight of the horizon, suffer what we call "thedreaded leans" and allow the aircraftto get out of control and exceed thestructural limits, resulting in an in-flight break up, a very commonoccurrence in light aeroplanes.Anything that is not VMC is IMC.

In most cases, a hapless pilot istrying to get home, or through some bad weather, or flying very lowunder poor weather conditions. Thelatter we call scud running, a verydangerous practice that may lead toan argument with a power line. (Youknow who wins that contest!)

If the conditions suddenly becomevery bad and we cannot see theground or horizon; then the accident

report will say it was a VFR flightinto IMC incident. The pilot got there by making an error of judgement andlost control, just before the accident -get the drift?

How do we measure VMC? Youhave to know what you have - beforeyou lose it - sounds like thoseromantic novels. The VFR helicopter  pilot must maintain the helicopter clear of cloud at all times. Below

10,000 feet we must keep 1,500metres and 1,000 feet vertically awayfrom cloud when outside controlledairspace. In addition, we must be ableto see 5,000 metres except in ClassD, ATC may allow a visibility 1,600metres for aeroplanes and 800 metresfor helicopters. This allows us toestablish a horizon by reference tothe sea or land for attitude control.

Should we be lower than 3,000feet or 1,000 feet AGL (whichever is

the higher), then we must keep clear of cloud and be in sight of land or water. We must have an in-flight

visibility of 5,000 metres. What theywant is for you to see enough of thehorizon for you to know which wayis up, thus avoiding disorientation.

Special helicopter VFR rules.When outside controlled airspace ahelicopter can operate low level, in

far worse conditions than anaeroplane. Putting aside the obviousfact we could possibly land, the rulesare less restrictive because we can goslower. The down side of thisgenerous offering from the regulator is that we are can be mixing it withobstacles and powerlines, which can be hidden by a rain splatteredwindscreen. 

When operating below 700 feet,helicopters are allowed to operate

clear of cloud and in a visibility of only 800 metres. This rule assumesyou can slow down to a safe speedand not hit anything. There are other restrictions which you should check,such as keeping 10 nm and 500 feetvertical separation from an IFR aircraft using an approach aid when both are using the same airport.

Planning for a night flight. InAustralia we have a different set of 

rules to most countries. For example,unless the destination is serviced byan NDB or a VOR and the helicopter is fitted with the appropriate radionavigation system capable of usingthe aid, a flight under NVFR must plan for an alternate within onehour’s flight time of the destination.

Also, there a requirements for nightlighting at both the departure anddestination airports. These need to bereviewed during the planning stage

of the flight.

Lowest safe altitude. Australia hasa unique requirement for pilots tomaintain at least 1,000 feet aboveany obstacle within ten nautical milesof the aircraft in flight. When passinga positive fix, the pilot can thendescend to a lower safe altitude if one exists.

Get a forecast, ask the met man!

We have a marvellous weather forecasting and NOTAM advisoryservice in our lucky country. Most of 

the information is on the internet, or as an alternate you can use afacsimile service. Radio broadcastsare available at many airports. It isthat easy - look up these facilities inthe ERSA. There is no excuse for notobtaining a weather forecast  – butyou must know the system!

What to do if entering IMCconditions? Even the Wright brothers knew of the 180 degree turnrule! You must turn back before it istoo late. Commercial and emotional pressures can keep you going into the jaws of death. You must be firm withyourself and remove the aircraft fromthe weather conditions about to block your path. At this point you areendangering yourself and the

 passengers. When VMC is lost, youare entering an IMC situation - a trueno go zone - abort the flight! The best option you have is to land andlive another day? 

Flying at night with noinstruments? However, if you arein a helicopter with no flight attitudeinstruments, then you are in realtrouble, big trouble!! There are manygurus who have a range of ideas.

Some say that turning slowly ontoeast or west means your magneticcompass is more stable than on northor south. Hopefully, you can getsome heading control. Your airspeedtells you what your nose is doing - dothings slowly. Try and descend out of the conditions - don't dive down. 

Disorientation - not all is lost!

It is only a matter of time before youwill become disorientated. Your 

 problem here is you may suffer Tom's fate and break up in flight!Test pilots have noted a helicopter inautorotation is a little more stablethan with power applied. Also, thetypical rate of an authoritativedescent is 1,600 feet per minute or 29kilometres per hour  – which is notvery fast. The gurus often suggestflying in autorotation at the slowest possible speed, between translationallift and the minimum power speedfor level flight, you may survivewhen you hit something.

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These are desperate measures;however, an in-flight break up or ahigh speed impact with the ground isreally not an option.

World trends VMC into IMC.When the R44 entered service, it wasquickly used by many at night for 

 pleasure and business. In one sampleyear there were fourteen RobinsonR44 accidents in the USA. The worldreceived a wakeup call when it wasrealised 11 of the 14 accidents wereVMC into IMC, usually at night!This was about same time we sawour first R44 VMC into IMCaccident in Australia. In thisaccident, the R44 was scud runninghome at low level, around last light.The pilot and his wealthy propertyowner employer were killed. If indoubt turn back or land, a better option than missing your next birthday!

 Around the campfire …. 

At the National gallery of Victoriaa couple attending an art exhibition atthe gallery were staring at a portraitthat had them totally confused. The painting depicted three black mentotally naked, sitting on a park bench.Two of the men had black penises, but the one seated in the middle, hada pink penis. The curator of the

gallery realized the confused couplewere having trouble with interpretingthe painting and offered hisassessment. He went on and on for nearly half an hour explaining how itdepicted the sexual emasculation of African-Americans in a pre-dominantly white, patriarchalsociety.

“In fact”, he pointed out, “someserious critics believe that the pink 

 penis reflects the cultural andsociological oppression expressed bygay men in a contemporary society”. 

After the curator left, a Scotsmanman approached the couple and said,“Would you like to know what the painting is really about?”“Now whywould you claim to be more of anexpert than the curator of theGallery?” asked the couple.“Because I’m the guy who painted

it,” he replied. “In fact, there is noAfrican-American representation atall. They’re just three Scottish coal-miners. The guy in the middle wenthome for lunch.” 

CommentsHere are the some comments made by NBC sports commentators duringthe Summer Olympics that theywould like to take back:1. Weightlifting commentator: “This

is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I sawher snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.” 2. Dressage commentator: “This isreally a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since Ionce mounted her mother.” 3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: “I owe a lotto my parents, especially my mother and father.” 4. Boxing Analyst: “Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths

in boxing, but none of them reallythat serious.” 5. Softball announcer: “If historyrepeats itself, I should think we canexpect the same thing again.” 6. Basketball analyst: “He dribbles alot and the opposition doesn’t like it.In fact you can see it all over their faces.” 7. At the rowing medal ceremony:“Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the

IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.” 8. Soccer commentator: “Julian

Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’vegot eleven Dicks on the field.” 9. Tennis commentator: “One of thereasons Andy is playing so well isthat, before the final round, his wifetakes out his balls and kisses them...Oh my God, what have I just said?

Signs of the timesSign over a Gynecologist’s Office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.” 

At a Proctologist’s door  “To expediteyour visit please back in!” 

On a Plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.” 

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon“Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels” 

Another a Septic Tank Truck sign:“We’re #1 in the #2 business.” 

On a Plumber’s truck: “Don’t sleep with a drip Call your  plumber .” 

Pizza Shop Slogan:“7 days without pizza makes oneweak.” 

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:

“Invite us to your next blowout.” 

On a Plastic Surgeon’s Office door: “Hello. Can we pick your nose?” 

At a Towing company:“We don’t charge an arm and a leg.We want tows.” 

On an Electrician’s truck:“Let us remove your shorts.” 

In a Non-smoking Area:

“If we see smoke, we will assumeyou are on fire and take appropriateaction.” 

On a Maternity Room door:“Push. Push. Push.” 

At an Optometrist’s Office “If you don’t see what you’re lookingfor, you’ve come to the right place.” 

On a Taxidermist’s window: “We really know our stuff.” 

In a Podiatrist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.” 

On a Fence:“Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive.” 

At a Car Dealership:“The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment.” 

Outside a Muffler Shop:“No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”