Florida Housing FinanceCorporation

Leadership Training - Level 1

2016Gabrielle K. Gabrielli, Ph.D.

Ground Rules

1. Turn any cell phones or pagers to the off orsilent position.

2. Be on time including from breaks.3. Listen actively.4. Keep an open mind.5. Be respectful to everyone; don’t interrupt.6. If you break any rules, you sing.

Introductions

• Name• What you do

• Respond to a thumball question

Leadership Training Sequence

Level 1• Introduction to

Leadership• Teambuilding• Emotional

Intelligence• Conflict Resolution• Communication

Level 2• Performance

Management• Effective Feedback• Coaching• Delegation

Level 3• Leadership Styles• Motivating Your

Team to PeakPerformance

• Next-levelLeadership

Learning Objectives

By the end of this session, you should be able to:• Develop problem solving and teambuilding skills.• Define leadership.• Describe the importance of trust, enthusiasm,

accountability, and motivation to TEAMeffectiveness.

• Discuss roles of managers and the benefits ofleadership to team performance.

• Explain, assess, and develop an action plan foremotional intelligence.

• Describe the benefits of moving beyondcommunicating to connecting with others.

AgendaWednesday 27 April 2016

0900 Ground Rules, Objectives, Introductions0915 Teambuilding

Problem Solving Challenge ActivityDebrief

0945 TEAM Effectiveness, Development, and Peak PerformanceTrust, Enthusiasm, Accountability, and Motivation

1015 Roles and Responsibilities of Supervisors5 Levels of Leadership

1100 Emotional IntelligenceAssessmentAction Plan

1200 Working Lunch1330 Next Level Communication: Connecting with Others

Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do DifferentlyActivityDebrief

1315 Conclusions1330 Adjourn

What is Leadership?Leadership is a process of influence thatmaximizes the efforts of others towardachievement of a goal.

Leadership

“Leadership is not about titles,positions or flowcharts. It isabout one life influencinganother.”

- John C. Maxwell

5 Levels of Influence

Factors That Make a Great Leader

1. Character2. Relationships3. Knowledge4. Intuition5. Experience6. Ability

Get in the Zone and Stay There.

“True transformation toleadership begins whenpeople overcome fears andself-limiting beliefs to getout of their comfort zonesand into their strengthzones.”

- Dr. Gabrielle K. Gabrielli

Connecting is all about others.

TEAM

• Trust• Enthusiasm• Accountability• Motivation

• “Not finance. Not strategy. Not technology.It is teamwork that remains the ultimatecompetitive advantage, both because it isso powerful and so rare.”

Patrick Lencioni, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, 2002, p. vii

What does trust mean to you?

Trust

Team Trust Assessment

• Please take a few minutes to complete theteam trust assessment.

How to Build Trust in the Workplace

1. Give trust to gain trust.2. Communicate effectively.3. Respect others.4. Be competent and confident.5. Listen to others and seek their input.6. Show gratitude.7. Encourage others to reach their potential.8. Continually strive to improve.

How to Build Trust in the Workplace

9. Take responsibility for your actions.10. Give credit to others who have achieved

success.11. Be enthusiastic about work opportunities and

challenges.12. Be self-motivated as well as motivate others.13. Mean what you say and say what you do; be

dependable.14. Have a positive and optimistic attitude.

Why is enthusiasm important?

Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm

“When employers look at prospectivecandidates, beyond skills, experience, andtraining, they look for those who demonstrateenthusiasm – those they believe will completeassigned tasks in an upbeat and cooperativemanner. All other things being equal, acandidate who can demonstrate a positiveattitude and eagerness to tackle the job will havean advantage over one who displays an attitudeviewed by the employer as negative ordisinterested.” U.S. Dept. of Labor

What is accountability?

Accountability

• Accountability means having theresponsibility and authority to act and fullyaccept the consequences for the results ofthose actions.

What is motivation?

Motivation

• Motivation is a psychological drive thatinspires or reinforces an action toward adesired goal. It can be intrinsic or extrinsic,but intrinsic has been shown to have muchmore long term benefits.

Motivation is the Key toPerformance

People join companiesand leave managers.

Job Motivation Study

• 31%- supervisor gave them the "silenttreatment" in the past year

• 37%- supervisor failed to give credit when due• 39%- supervisor failed to keep promises• 27%- supervisor made negative comments

about them to other employees or managers• 24%- supervisor invaded their privacy• 23%- supervisor blames others to cover up

mistakes or to minimize embarrassment

* Leadership Quarterly, 2007

Motivating Your Team

1. Lead by example.2. Share information on projects and business openly

with the team.3. When possible, let team work through their

conflicts, but be ready to resolve situations beforeteam morale is damaged.

4. Give feedback for improvement when necessary ina positive and thoughtful way.

5. Show appreciation for the work team does usingdifferent methods for rewarding team and members.

Motivating Your Team

6. Actively listen to team complaints, ideas, andsuggestions.

7. If a team request or member idea is not understood, askfor clarification or examples.

8. Show confidence in the team by supporting their workand needs.

9. Allow the team to evaluate its leader and suggestimprovement ideas to help the team with respect, trust,and confidence in their leader.

10. Do periodic assessments on how the team is doing as away to identify opportunities for improvement.

Herzberg’s Motivation Theory

• Hygiene Factors1. Supervision2. Relationship w/ peers3. Relationship w/ boss4. Working conditions5. Company policies6. Salary

• Motivators1. Recognition2. Achievement3. Work itself4. Responsibility5. Advancement6. Growth

Strategies toImprove Motivation

• Effective positive reinforcement• Effective corrective discipline• Fair and equal treatment• Satisfaction of employee needs• Appropriate goals• Rewards based on job performance

Motivating Employees

• Communicate effectively• Provide effective feedback

– Corrective– Positive

• Resolve conflicts• Improve emotional intelligence in yourself

and in others• Help others be the best they can be

Quotes on Leadership

• “A leader is best when people barely knowhe exists, when his work is done, his aimfulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.”- Lao Tzu

• “Before you are a leader, success is allabout growing yourself. When you become aleader, success is all about growing others.”- Jack Welch

• “You manage things; you lead people.”- Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper

Emotional Intelligence

• 55% of Americans are not familiar with EI.• 48% are not familiar with the negative effect

that stress has on EI.• EI has been scientifically proven to be a

greater predictor of success in the workplacethan IQ.

What does it mean?

Definition of EI

Emotional intelligence is the capacity forrecognizing our own feelings and those ofothers, for motivating ourselves and others,and for managing our own emotions as wellas influencing others.

History of EI

• Roots with Darwin in early 1900s• Social Intelligence- Thorndike 1920s• Influence of non-intellectual factors on

intelligent behavior- Wechsler 1940• Multiple Intelligences- Gardner 1975• Reuven Bar-On first used the term

“emotional quotient” in 1985• EI- Wayne Payne’s dissertation 1985

Study That Initiated EI

• 1960s: 4-year-olds and marshmallows.• Researcher told kids not to touch the

marshmallows then left the room.• Concluded that those who delayed

gratification had higher EIs.• Study followed kids to high school.• Surveyed teachers, parents, and others.• When kids took SATs, those who held out

had 210 point average higher score.

Marshmallow Test Video

Research on EI

• 2007 study showed correlation between EIand use of tobacco and marijuana.

• Those who started smoking at a young ageand who regularly smoked had lower scoresin emotional self-regulation.

• Conclusion: people who have strong EI andwho clearly comprehend their emotionsconsume less tobacco and marijuana thanthose with low EI.

Research on EI

•According to a poll (Nov. 2007), stress hasa detrimental impact on our EI and this canspell professional problems for workingAmericans.

•A strong EI can help build positiverelationships and improve performance-ideal for workplace success.

Commercialization of EI

• Goleman is known for generating interestfrom the business world in EI.

• In 1995 his best selling book expandedSalovey and Mayer’s definition of EI toinclude the ability to motivate oneself.

• Time Magazine- 1995 article “The EQ Factor:New brain research suggests that emotions,not IQ, may be the true measure of humanintelligence”

EI Misconceptions

• EI is NOT:• Being nice all the time• “Getting emotional”, “being soft”, or

touchy-feely• Denying or stuffing your emotions,

“sucking it up”• The solution to all problems

Emotional Intelligence

EI is :• Being honest• Being aware of your feelings and other

people’s feelings• Being smart with your emotions• The ability to understand and use the

power of our emotions wisely• Maintaining poise under pressure*

Summary of EI Research

• People with high EI are happier, healthier, andmore successful in their relationships.

• People with EI have:– Balance between logic and emotions– Awareness of their own feelings– Healthy self-confidence– Empathy and compassion for others

Summary of EI Research

• Everyone has different levels of EI.• The way we express and use our emotions

can be controlled.• Feelings affect our physical health.• Emotions are contagious.• Unlike IQ, EI can be significantly raised.

EI Self-Assessment

Scoring the AssessmentInstructions:

1. Add numbers in each row and place the resultsin the boxes at the right.

2. Compare your results to see how well youscored!

EI Value and Benefits

• EI is more than 85% of what enables peopleto develop into great leaders.

• EI skills allow people to think clearly underpressure

• For performance, EI is 2x as important astechnical and cognitive skills combined.

• People with high EI don’t let emotions get inthe way of solving problems and positivelyimpact everyone they contact.

EI Value and Benefits

• Developing EI skills minimizes time wastedon turf wars or arguing.

• People with high EI are able to calm theirminds quickly, opening the way for insightand creative ideas.

• People with high EI choose productivebehaviors.

• Improved personal productivity and improvedstaff performance means people leave workat a reasonable time.

5 Competencies of EI

1. Self-awareness2. Self-regulation3. Motivation4. Empathy5. Effective relationships aka social skills

1. Self-Awareness

People with high self-awareness:

• Interact easily with others• Don’t stress over making decisions• Accurately assesses themselves, others, and

situations• Are open• Are quietly self-confident

Self-Awareness Activity

Increase Self-Awareness

• Spend 15 minutes daily on self-reflection.• Know where in the body stress is held.• Keep a journal of emotions and triggers.• Ask for feedback; be open to what you hear.• Find opportunities to improve self-confidence.• Pause before reacting to a tense situation.

2. Self-Regulation

People with high self-regulation:• Foster a climate of trust & fairness• Surround themselves with talented people• Focus on issues and not on politics• Are role models and mentors for others• Adapt quickly• Build lasting relationships

Avoiding Emotional Highjacking

• Take charge of your thoughts• Identify and manage emotional shifts• Take control of behavioral patterns

Increase Self-Regulation

• Buy time• Avoid generalizations, assumptions• Develop constructive inner dialogues• Derail counterproductive behavior• Use humor• Find balance

3. Motivation

People with high levels of self-motivation:• Initiate improvements in their jobs• Succeed at difficult assignments• Are less likely to quit their job• Motivate others personally and

professionally• Attract others with the same values

Motivation Activity

Sources of Motivation

• Yourself• Support System• Environment• Mentor

Increase Motivation

• Using motivational self-statements(affirmations)

• Using positive mental imagery(visualizations)

• Give yourself opportunities for success• Find an emotional mentor

4. Empathy

People with high levels of empathy:• Keep people in the loop• Promote collaboration and teamwork• Develop others to their full potential• Achieve high performance

Increase Empathy

• Assume people have the best of intentions.• Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.• Remember that you always learn more from

listening than from speaking.• Identify with the other person by reflecting

on an experience you’ve had that produceda similar emotion in you.

Empathetic Listening Habits

• Listen for ideas and emotions• Listen for what is not being said• Control your emotional reactions• Avoid prejudgments and distractions• Use open-ended questions for active

listening

Empathetic Driving!

5. Effective Relationshipsaka Social Skills

People with effective relationships:• Have a wide circle of colleagues and

friends, and multiple circles• Find common ground among differing views,

often mediating others• Effectively lead teams• Are successful in managing change

Improve Relationships

• Expand your circles of social networks• Get to know people who are seemingly

different than you• Think outside your comfort zone• Ask for feedback from people you have had

disagreements with

Promoting EI in Others

1. Keep your emotional perspective2. Help others maintain emotional balance3. Be a supportive listener4. Set expectations

Help Others MaintainEmotional Balance

• Anticipate the other person’s emotional state• Listen• Use slow-down techniques• Redirect the conversation• Pay attention to cues in the other person’s

behavior• Use instructive statements• Use relaxation techniques

One View of Conflict

Conflict is inevitable, butcombat is optional.

~Max Lucado, theologian

Common Conflict Responses

Avoidance Maybe the problem will just go away.

Poor me Complain to anyone within earshot, exceptthe person you have the problem with.

Anger Emotional outbursts that make everyoneuncomfortable and solve nothing.

RevengeFind ways to disturb the person who hasdisturbed you by “getting even” or evensabotaging their performance or reputation.

The CALM Model

C Clarify the issue

A Address the problem

L Listen to the other side

M Manage your way to resolution

C: Clarify the Issue

Conflict Clarification Questions - Primary Questions

1. What am I upset about? In specific behavioral terms,what actually happened? Who else is involved? What didthey do?

2. What emotions am I feeling: anger, hurt, frustration? Whyam I feeling that way?

3. Have I contributed to the problem?4. Am I just overreacting? If so, why?5. In terms of actions and relationships, what are my desires

for an outcome to this conflict? What will successfulresolution look like?

6. If I was the other person involved in this situation, howwould I want to be approached and dealt with?

C: Clarify the Issue

Conflict Clarification Questions - Secondary Questions

7. Where was the other person coming from? Could they infact have been motivated by good intentions?

8. Has this happened before, or is this a first timeoccurrence?

9. How is this situation affecting you and your work? Areothers impacted? If so, how?

10. When dealing with this issue, what can you do toincrease your chances of getting the results you want?What counter-productive behaviors do you want toavoid?

A: Address the Problem

• The Opening• The Issue Description

– Exactly what happened– How it made you feel– The negative impacts the situation

caused

A: Address the Problem

Other things to remember:1. Have a walk-in strategy; you may want to

practice what you plan to say.2. Don’t repeat what others have said; this

is between the two of you.3. Keep the end in mind; the goal is not to

win an argument. The goal is to reach arespectful, collaborative result.

L: Listen to the Other Side

• Give the other person your TOTALATTENTION.

• NEVER interrupt.• Ask questions for clarification.• Paraphrase what you’ve heard.• SHOW that you’re listening.• Use positive body language.

Be An Empathetic Listener

• Acknowledge your acceptance of what thespeaker is saying.

• Help the speaker clarify thoughts, feelingsand ideas.

• Don’t interrupt; look for nonverbal signals;maintain a listening posture

• Rephrase the content and reflect on thefeelings.

M: Manage Your Way to Resolution

• Gain agreement that a problem exists.• Identify each other’s concerns and needs.• Explore win-win solutions.• Agree on a course of action.• Determine how to handle missteps, should

they happen.• Close on a positive note.

No Time to Plan!

• Stop, breathe, and think.• Acknowledge the conflict.• Buy some time (and then do CALM).• Take it somewhere else.• Keep it respectful.

The CALM Model

• Clarify the issue• Address the problem• Listen to the other person• Manage your way to a resolution

Activity

• Get with a partner.• Discuss current, past, or possible conflict

issues.• Practice using the CALM model to role

play the scenario.• Be prepared to share.

SASHET

EI Tips

More Reasons to Work on EI/EQ

Communication = Potential

Communication Model

Shannon-Weaver

Communication Model

Importance of Communication

• The #1 skill that employers seek is excellentcommunication skills.

• Practitioners in the “big 6” accounting firmsspend 80% of their time communicating withothers.

• The average executive spends 45 minutesper hour communicating.

• Subscribers to the Harvard Business Reviewrated communication as the most importantfact in making an executive promotable.

Communication Hurdles

• We speak at a rate of about 125 words per minute.• We listen at about 150-400 words per minute.• We think at about 1000-3000 words per minute.

Communication Challenges

• Words are processed in short term memory.• We process about 7 bits of information at a

time in short term memory.• Images are processed in long term

memory.

The Power of Words

Choose Words Carefully

Modes of Communication

• Face-to-face is preferable so you can seebody language and connect better.

• Use the most appropriate method possiblefor the kind of communication you need toconvey.

Communication Quotes

• “The single biggest problem incommunication is the illusion that it hastaken place.” - George Bernard Shaw

• “Wise men speak because they havesomething to say; Fools because theyhave to say something.” - Plato

• “The most important thing incommunication is hearing what isn'tsaid.” - Peter Drucker

Communication Self-Assessment

Everyone Communicates, FewConnect: What the Most

Effective People Do Differently

Research Says....

Communication-Connect Message

Every communication is an opportunityfor a powerful connection. Developingyour ability to connect with others:1. Creates better relationships2. Reduces conflict3. Increases accomplishments4. Effectively conveys ideas5. Attracts followers

Central Truths

1. If you want to succeed, you must learn howto connect with others.

2. High achievers care about people, viewsubordinates optimistically, seek advicefrom subordinates, and listen well toeveryone.

3. Maturity is the ability to see and act onbehalf of others.

4. We remember 85% to 90% of what we see;less than 15% of what we hear.

Central Truths

5. Connecting always requires energy; mustintentionally and willingly connect withothers. This requires initiative (go first);clarity (prepared); patience (slow down);selflessness (give); and stamina (recharge).

6. If you are responsible for leading people orcommunicating with others, it is especiallyvital for you to find ways to recharge.

Central Truths

7. A bad beginning makes a bad ending(Euripides).

8. People connect with stories, not statistics.9. It is the job of a leader to bring clarity to a

subject, not complexity.10.Three words are essential to connect with

others: brevity, levity, and repetition.

Central Truths

11.Leadership is about inspiring people todo things they never thought they could.(Steve Jobs)

12.The mediocre teacher tells, the goodteacher explains, and the great teacherdemonstrates.

13.Vision without passion is a picturewithout possibilities.

Central Truths

14.People ask three questions about theirleaders: Do they care for me? Can theyhelp me? Can I trust them?

15.Preparation yields confidence andpassion yields conviction.

Connecting increases your influence in every situation.Successful U.S. Presidents exhibit 5 qualities:1. Vision2. Pragmatism3. Consensus Building4. Charisma5. Trustworthiness

4 of the 5 skills to being asuccessful leader have todo with connecting.

Connecting Principles #1 INFLUENCE

Most people who disconnect aren’t aware.

Connecting Signals

Extra Effortpeople go the extra

mile

UnsolicitedAppreciation

people say positivethings

UnguardedOpenness

people demonstratetrust

IncreasedCommunication

people expressthemselves more

readily

EnjoyableExperiencespeople feel good

about what they aredoing

EmotionalBondednesspeople display aconnection on anemotional level

UnconditionalLove

people are acceptingwithout reservation

Growing Synergypeople’s effectivenessis greater than the sum

of the contributions

Positive Energypeople’s emotional

“batteries” arecharged by being

together

Connecting Principle #1 INFLUENCE

Jay Hall, Ph.D., Teleometrics,conducted a study on the performanceof 16,000 executives.

CONCLUSION: direct correlationbetween achievement and the ability tocare for and connect with people.

“Leadership is not about titles, positions or flowcharts. It is about one life influencing another.” John C. Maxwell

Connecting Principle #1 INFLUENCEConnecting Principle #1 INFLUENCE

HIGH ACHIEVERS LOW ACHIEVERSAVERAGEACHIEVERS

Care about peopleas well as profits

Viewsubordinatesoptimistically

Seek advicefrom thoseunder them

Actively listen

Concentrate onproduction

Focus more ontheir own status

Reluctant to seekadvice from those

under them

Listen only tosuperiors

Preoccupiedwith their own

security

Show a basicdistrust of

subordinates

Do not seekadvice

Avoidcommunication and

rely on policymanuals

Connecting Principle #1 INFLUENCEConnecting Principle #1 INFLUENCE

Modes of Listening

• Combative listening takes place when welisten only to look for flaws in the otherperson’s point of view.

• Passive listening takes place when we trulytry to hear the other person’s point of view.However, with passive listening, we do notyet provide feedback to verify whether wehave understood.

• Active listening takes place when weprovide feedback to verify whether or not wehave understood the sender.

Listening Actively

• Listen with your ears, your eyes, and your heart toconcentrate on what the person is saying and toempathize.

• Pay attention to speaker’s facial expressions andother nonverbal cues for insight into the message.

• Listen without interruption. Note key phrases anddocument the information that the interviewee says.

• Provide feedback checks to the speaker. Restate,paraphrase, or ask questions of the interviewee toconfirm that you received the message as intended.

Activity

• Get with a partner.• Pick who will be the speaker first and who

will be the listener first.• Discuss whatever is on your mind for 2

minutes.• Switch roles.

Examining Body Languageand Behavioral Cues

• Observe what message your body languageconveys:– facial expressions or gestures– shifts in eye contact– crossed arms or legs– placement of feet– excessive sweating

• Be aware of nonverbal messages you send.

Nonverbal Communication

Connecting is all about OTHERS and not ourselves.Why do we focus on ourselves and not others?1. ImmaturityMaturity is the ability to see and act on behalf of others2.Ego3.Failure to value everyone

3 Connecting Questions:1.Do you CARE for me?2.Can you HELP me?3.Can I TRUST you?

Connecting Principle #2 OTHERS

• Key Concept: Connecting begins whenthe other person feels valued.

• Question: “What can I do to increase myvalue of others?”

Connecting Principle #2 OTHERS

Connecting goes beyond words.3 components to face-to-face communication

How others believe what we say when we communicate:

> 90% of the impression that we often conveyhas nothing to do with what we actually say!

Connecting Principle #3 COMMUNICATION

WORDS TONE OF VOICE BODY LANGUAGE

Connecting Principle

• Connecting Goes Beyond Words

Communication Breakdowns

Connecting Principle #3 COMMUNICATION

Breakdown Thought  –  knowing Emo4on  –  feeling Ac4on  -­‐  doing

Dispassionate I  know  this I  do  not  feel  this

Theore4cal I  know  this I  do  not  do  this

Unfounded I  do  not  know  this I  feel  this

Hypocri4cal I  feel  this I  do  not  do  this

Presumptuous I  do  not  know  this I  do  this

Mechanical I  do  not  feel  this I  do  this

Action – something we do; connectingvisually; what people see

Thought – something we know; connectingintellectually; what people understand

Emotion – something we feel; connectingemotionally; what people feel

Connecting Principle #3 COMMUNICATION

Connecting always requires ENERGY.4 Unpardonable sins of a communicator:

3 of the 4 require a lot of effort and energyConnecting requires:1. Initiative – go first!2.Clarity – prepare3.Patience – slow down4.Selflessness – give5.Stamina – recharge

Connecting Principle #4 ENERGY

Unprepared Uncommitted Uninteresting Uncomfortable

Connecting is more SKILL than natural talent.

Connecting Principle #5 SKILL

Generational Communication

Conclusions

• Use your action plans to direct your effortsto areas that need most improvement.

• Strive to continuously work to improveyour leadership skills.

• Develop your emotional intelligence, andwork to improve EI of those around you.

• Don’t just communicate with people;connect with them.

Gabrielle K. Gabrielli, Ph.D., CGMPgabrielle@gabrielleconsulting.com

Your website portal:http://gabrielleconsulting.com/floridahousing

Thank You!