Editing Ideas to strengthen the Grendel Paper:

Take out any use of “YOU”

Into his mouth, ALL YOU COULD SEE was jagged, yellow teeth.

Peering into his mouth, ____________________ WERE jagged, yellow teeth.

Peering into his mouth,ALL THAT WAS VISIBLE were his jagged yellow teeth.

When YOU’RE in the dark alone, YOU wait for his bright, fiery red eyes to

open to give YOU warning.X out You…replace with soldiers, people,

everyone, the men, ….then use pronouns….they, them, he, etc.

Improved sentence:

Look for the use of “YOU” when proofreading.

Another thing to look for:When all of a sudden, (One word isn’t

necessary)All of a sudden,

Make all verbs present tense.

I circled all of these in your Grendel Piece.

Change this example:

He PULLED and TUGGED with his muscular biceps and finally ________(present tense verbs)

USING PRESENT TENSE VERBS ADDS TO THE FLOW OF THE WWRITING.

Write the following verbs as present tense in this passage: (Make a list from 1-9).

Background to the Iliad:

The Iliad OPENED as the Trojan War ENTERED its tenth year; and it CLOSED several weeks later. The story REVOLVED around two main characters: Achilles, the bravest and handsomest warrior in the Greek army, and his enemy Hector, the honorable warrior-prince of the Trojans.

In Book 22 of the epic, the conflict between these two antagonists REACHED its tragic climax. The tragedy that is at the heart of the Iliad BEGAN with the anger of Achilles. Human beings FOUGHT in the story, but the gods and goddesses TOOK sides and profoundly AFFECTED the outcomes.

Review your answers from 1-9.

Are all of those VERBS present tense?

Another common problem was RUN-ON SENTENCES.

Read the following sentence and make it into two sentences:

Beowulf thought intently he was sure he had the strength to ____________(add your own “impressive” verb in the blank) Grendel.

REVIEW:

First drafts are NEVER perfect.

ALWAYS SAVE YOUR DRAFTS ON YOUR COMPUTER.

We will always go back and make REVISIONS and EDIT them.

What to edit in your Grendel Paper:Rewrite all sentences with “YOU” usedRewrite all verbs to be PRESENT TENSERewrite all sentences that are fragments or

run ons.ADD ILLUMINATIONS: