Download - Progress of emotions presentation Jeffreys
NMC Conference Presentation 2012
Have been mediating for 20 years
Nationally Accredited
Qualification in Health and Education
Not a psychologist, counsellor or lawyer
Manage the Community Mediation Service of South Australia
C.EO. Munkatoo Training and Research
Undertake mediations for Mediation Australia in a private capacity
Conflict:
An unavoidable part of
being human
Emotions: Also an unavoidable part of being human.
Myths
◦ That mediation is not about emotion ◦ That mediation is always rational and cognitive
◦ That emotions can be ‘managed’ or ‘vented’ appropriately then ignored
Emotions are not always managed well by
the client or the mediator
Emotions manifest in many ways both overtly and covertly
There will be no lasting result without an emotional attachment to the outcome
Transition / Agenda Setting
Introduction
Conclusion
Parties Opening Statements
Mediator Summaries
Identification / Exploration of Issues / Clarification
Negotiation
Caucus
Further Negotiation / Agreement
Basic Mediation Process
Past Focus
Future Focus
Party A is a couple in their late 50’s
Successful writers
Own their own home
Have lived in the street for about 15 years
Travel extensively for research, attend literary events, give readings or take master classes on the art of writing.
Desire peace and quiet when they are home
No children at home
Retired couple
Own their own home and have lived in the street for nearly 20 years
Have travelled around South Australia for work ( Police Officer) but not overseas and prefer to be home
Children grown, no grandchildren
Owners of Cocky and a small black yappy dog
Introducing ‘Cocky’ Cocky was born in Naracoorte in South Australia and as a young bird was attacked by a dog and was subsequently unable to fly. He was given to his owners as a gift when their daughter was born. Cocky is now 41 years old, lives with his owners in the Adelaide Hills in a cage which has been his home all his life.
Reality Checking / Cognitive Space
Shock
Denial
Anger / Resentment
Retribution / Withdrawal / Triangulation
Progress of Emotion in Conflict
Past Focus
Future Focus
Incident / Action
Right Brain Thinking
Reactive Emotions
Overwhelming events and emotions
Ability to process emotions, problem solve and function usefully is reduced
What is Cognitive Space?
Cognitive Space
Effective processing of the input to allow a meaningful output
1. Don’t rush the process 2. Compartmentalise 3. Use private sessions as often as
needed 4. Caucus more readily throughout the
session 5. A simple cup of tea / coffee may be
all that is needed 6. Give them homework 7. Map the dispute
How to achieve the cognitive space needed
Mapping My Dispute ©
You are encouraged to use the following grid to gain a clearer understanding of your dispute. List the main issues that are concerning you:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Insert the above issues into the non shaded areas in the grid below according to your priorities. For example, you may feel that a particular issue is of ‘high impact’ but ‘less urgent’ therefore it would be placed in the ‘high importance’ square. Once you have done this take time to think about what you want and what you are prepared to compromise on with the other party
I M P A C T
U
R
G
E
N
C
Y
High Impact
i.e. significant
health,
relationship and
lifestyle change,
too expensive
Medium Impact
i.e. minor
health,
relationship and
lifestyle change,
manageable
expense
Low Impact
i.e.
inconvenient,
acceptable
expense
Zero Impact
Very
Urgent
Very High
Importance
High Importance High Importance Medium
Importance
Somewhat
Urgent
High Importance High Importance Medium
Importance
Medium
Importance
Less
Urgent
High Importance Medium
Importance
Low Importance Low Importance
Not
Urgent
Medium
Importance
Medium
Importance
Low Importance Not Important
Mapping My Dispute ©
Reality Checking / Cognitive Space
Shock
Moving On
Denial
Anger / Resentment
Retribution / Withdrawal / Triangulation
Realisation / Guilt / Responsibility
Acceptance / Acknowledgement / Ownership
Participation /Active role
Progress of Emotion in Conflict
Past Focus
Future Focus
Incident / Action
Right Brain Thinking
Left Brain Thinking
Reactive Emotions
Responsive Emotions
Questions and Comments?
Thank you for your participation
Contact Details
Ms Chris Jefferys CEO - Munkatoo Training and Research
0412 950 270
Training and Development Coordinator
Community Mediation Services SA
Mediator for Mediation Australia.
Nationally Accredited Mediator