Book News
You Don’t Really Know Me: WhyMothers and Daughters Fight andHow Both Can WinT. ApterLondon: W.W. Norton & Co., 2005.
pp. 256. £8.99 (pb). ISBN: 0-393-
32710-8.
As the title suggests, the core preoccu-
pation of this book is how best to
understand teenage daughters� battleswith their mothers, and more specifi-
cally how to see them as an opportunity
for better understanding and closeness
between both.
Drawing on research conducted over
two decades with mothers and their
daughters, the author gives a multi-
tude of vivid and diverse examples,
seen from both mothers and daugh-
ters� perspectives. �Fights� between
both are shown to be a necessary
and integral component of negotiating
adolescence, a process by which the
developing adolescent learns to define
their own identity. Wise, practical
advice on the part of the author is
readily interposed with examples
drawn from mother-daughter interac-
tions, looking at �how to make best use
of arguments�: avoiding unhelpful
escalation; helping to take the sting
out of potentially hurtful scenarios;
and trying instead to work towards
understanding the underlying commu-
nication on both sides.
Although never stated explicitly, my
impression was that, although it pro-
vided a number of interesting clinical
insights, this is a book written mainly
for teenage daughters and their moth-
ers (and particularly those who are
struggling in their relationship to-
gether). As such I found it to be a
really warm, and rich read. My main
criticism, if any, would be a tendency
on the author’s part to somewhat min-
imise the importance of other signifi-
cant relationships in a teenage girl’s
life, notably with their peers and
father. The relationship with their
mother seemed to be viewed as taking
complete precedence.
Louise Richards
Watford Peace Centre Child and
Family Clinic
Motivation, Engagement andEducational Performance:International Perspectives on theContext for LearningJ.G. Elliott, N.R. Hufton, W. Willis &L. IllushinBasingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan,
2005. pp. 240. £50.00 (hb). ISBN:
0-333-92059-7.
Lack of motivation is a frequent char-
acteristic of children seen in CAMHS
clinics. Most research has focused on
factors that distinguish between
students with high and low motivation.
This book provides a welcome reminder
that societal and cultural factors may
be more important. The authors inter-
viewed large numbers of students,
parents and teachers in Sunderland,
UK, Eastern Kentucky, USA, and
St Petersburg, Russia.
Problem behaviour in school was
most prevalent in Kentucky, slightly
less prevalent in Sunderland, and very
rare indeed in the mixed ability clas-
ses in St. Petersburg. Three things
help to explain the better behaviour
and educational progress in St. Peters-
burg. First, Russian teachers keep the
same class for several years, and their
strong personal relations with pupils
extended to parents. Second, in spite
of - or because of - higher academic
demands and much more homework
in Russia, pupils liked school more.
Third, in contrast to St Petersburg,
�Kentucky (and Sunderland) teachers
tended to see praise as the default
response, even when this was not
merited� (p.227).The book has a clear structure with
a useful index and references. An
excellent review of research on
achievement motivation is followed by
descriptions of each education and
cultural system and the demands they
make on pupils. The authors rightly
criticise simplistic solutions to com-
plex problems by governments in Eng-
land and the USA, but also recognise
the tensions facing Russian schools
and students at a time of political
upheaval. Strongly recommended for
teachers, and clinicians who want to
see beyond individual and family dif-
ferences.
David Galloway
University of Durham
Disorganised ChildrenM.S. Stein & U. ChowduryLondon: Jessica Kingsley, 2006. pp.
344. £16.99 (pb). ISBN: 1-843-10-148-3.
The concept that there might be a group
of children who are �disorganised�, i.e.
who have mild neurodevelopmental
problems that do not reach diagnostic
criteria in any category, yet whose
problems skirt the boundaries of
several, is an important one with much
face validity for clinicians. This is what
clinicians in earlier decades were
clearly referring to when talking about
Minimal Brain Damage and in my view
the authors take a bold but pragmatic
step forward in revisiting this. This is an
important group of children whose
patchy difficulties may make it hard
for parents and teachers to give their
behaviour the benefit of the doubt.
While well constructed on the whole,
the book also had some difficulties. It is
organised in four parts dealing with
child development, neurodevelopmental
problems, and the concept of �Disor-
ganised Children� and, lastly, how the
various CAMHS professionals might
help. Unfortunately, the first chapter
was rather a tedious list of the develop-
mental milestones familiar to all junior
doctors, whereas other chapters in part
one were fascinating accounts of
specific aspects of neurodevelopment.
Part two read like a textbook of child
psychiatry. Although the target audi-
ence is purportedly �parents and pro-
fessionals�, I suspect most parents who
do not have an education in child men-
tal health would be lost with some of the
technical language. I think the book
could have done without this section,
with the exception of the chapters that
specifically address diagnostic overlap
such as the one on DAMP.
The book comes into its own with part
three onDisorganisedChildren,which is
clearly written with parents in mind and
makes liberal use of diagrams and anal-
ogies. Theseworkedverywell andoffered
a lively and sympathetic discussion of
how the minds of these children might
work. Part four is also parent-friendly
and provides an interesting account of
how the differentmembers of amultidis-
ciplinary CAMH team might deal with
these kinds of developmental problems.
Sadly, I suspectmany parentswould not
get this far in their reading.
Child and Adolescent Mental Health Volume 12, No. 4, 2007, pp 198–199
� 2007 Association for Child Psychology and Psychiatry.Published by Blackwell Publishing, 9600 Garsington Road, Oxford OX4 2DQ, UK and 350 Main Street, Malden, MA 02148, USA
