Years10of DigitalWriting

Created by Dreaming Methods Writing Fused With New Media wwwdreamingmethodscom

Design and writing by Andy Campbell and Judi Alston

Selected photography by Tristan Campbell | Clearance sculptures by Billy Johnson

Audio soundtrack by Matt Wright wwwmatt-wrightcouk

Yearsof Digital

Created by Dreaming Methods Writing Fused With New Media wwwdreamingmethodscom

Design and writing by Andy Campbell and Judi Alston

Selected photography by Tristan Campbell | Clearance sculptures by Billy Johnson

Audio soundtrack by Matt Wright wwwmatt-wrightcouk

3

Comment

Dreaming Methods has been online and producing digital fiction since 2000

Our first few projects combined the written word with animation music film and interactivity - as well as the book-like page turning interfaces now common across the web and digital devices

Our early work can still be explored from the Project Archive section of the Dreaming Methods site Take a look at Fractured The Diary of Anne Sykes The Virtual Disappearance of Miriam and Inside A Journal of Dreams

We write fiction into - or onto - anything other than a word processor or a sheet of paper We are engaged in a continuous exploration of the potential of written narratives blended with new media

We treat the screen as a completely new canvas onto which to write where stories can be told in new ways and the text itself gains a wide range of different attributes blurred obscured transient animated and mouse-responsive our digital fiction refuses to stand still

Although publishers are finally moving in our direction with the emergence of lsquoenhanced ebooksrsquo we remain at the forefront of digital writing through our completely original and highly distinctive works which continue to be produced entirely within the digital environment

Look out for our forthcoming projects which will take writing not only into new browser-based experiences but also into atmospheric computer game-like 3D environments

Andy Campbellauthordreamingmethodscom

5

Inside A Journal of Dreams Extracts from the Journal 6

Gone Two blank pages 10

The Burner A Prologue to The Flat 12

Game A Prologue to Dim OrsquoGauble 16

Neighbour An Epilogue to Floppy 18

FileSystem A Prologue to Consensus Trance 23

Science Fieldwork Book Extracts from Nightingalersquos Playground 28

Clearance Profile of Iggi Hayer 35

September 14

Dreamt of swimming in a dark ocean amomg many other people We werethrowing heavy iron balls into the black waves

Later in the dream I was back in thehouse There was a car parked downthe driveway tipped on its side

September 15

I was playing football in the rain as a kid Somebody bootedthe ball into the wires of a nearby pilon It got stuck andstarted to spark and smokeI climbed the pilon found itscontrol panel and turned it offThe ball flopped to the grassfrom a great height It wassoggy and melted

The firersquos playing up takes ages to lightThe grid covering the fire gleams

a tarnished rainbow of colours I like the glow of the heat

I must get it looked at

September 18

I awoke during the early hours of the morning then quickly fell asleepagain I dreamt that I stopped a speeding train by reaching out fromthe side of the track and dragging the carriages to a halt The trainscreeched and smoked the carriagestilting and tipping some collapsingonto their side on the embankment

I ran from the scene

I got the gas fire looked at today The repair bloke seemed concerned said had I been feeling tired or anything I said yes for the last six days He stuck a yellow warning sticker on the bottom panel said hersquod be back donrsquot touch anything and keep the windows open

Itrsquos half 9 He hasnrsquot come back

Inside A Journal of Dreams

dreamingmethodscomuploadsinsideEnglish

revuebleuorangeorgbleuorange02campbellFrench

7

September 14

Dreamt of swimming in a dark ocean amomg many other people We werethrowing heavy iron balls into the black waves

Later in the dream I was back in thehouse There was a car parked downthe driveway tipped on its side

September 15

I was playing football in the rain as a kid Somebody bootedthe ball into the wires of a nearby pilon It got stuck andstarted to spark and smokeI climbed the pilon found itscontrol panel and turned it offThe ball flopped to the grassfrom a great height It wassoggy and melted

The firersquos playing up takes ages to lightThe grid covering the fire gleams

a tarnished rainbow of colours I like the glow of the heat

I must get it looked at

September 18

I awoke during the early hours of the morning then quickly fell asleepagain I dreamt that I stopped a speeding train by reaching out fromthe side of the track and dragging the carriages to a halt The trainscreeched and smoked the carriagestilting and tipping some collapsingonto their side on the embankment

I ran from the scene

I got the gas fire looked at today The repair bloke seemed concerned said had I been feeling tired or anything I said yes for the last six days He stuck a yellow warning sticker on the bottom panel said hersquod be back donrsquot touch anything and keep the windows open

Itrsquos half 9 He hasnrsquot come back

Inside A Journal of Dreams

dreamingmethodscomuploadsinsideEnglish

revuebleuorangeorgbleuorange02campbellFrench

7

Inside A Journal of Dreams

dreamingmethodscomuploadsinsideEnglish

revuebleuorangeorgbleuorange02campbellFrench

7

September 19

Canrsquot remember anythingHad trouble sleeping

The repair man returned and spent a lot of time lying on his back with his head up the fire He was wearing dirty bottle green trousers and a slightly cleaner overcoat that lay open to reveal a multitude of pens and pads His spanner kept clanging and dropping out of his hands He seemed to be trying to loosen something

I spent a lot of time watching how his knees waved and his feet shuffled around as he worked Now and again his whole body would twitch as the spanner slipped and there was an echoey bang

The man sat cross legged on the carpet breathing hard and looking into the fire Itrsquos still not safe he said I canrsquot get the bastard off

September 20

I thought about her for the firsttime in a long while I felt sad

September 23

Irsquom staring through double glazedwindows into a cold drizzly nightThere is someone talking behindme telling me the glass is about to explode I try to pull away fromthe window but my hands arestuck flat on the glass I wake up just as my skin begins to peel

I think he came back I donrsquot know why I didnrsquotanswer the door Did I miss a day

September 19

Canrsquot remember anythingHad trouble sleeping

The repair man returned and spent a lot of time lying on his back with his head up the fire He was wearing dirty bottle green trousers and a slightly cleaner overcoat that lay open to reveal a multitude of pens and pads His spanner kept clanging and dropping out of his hands He seemed to be trying to loosen something

I spent a lot of time watching how his knees waved and his feet shuffled around as he worked Now and again his whole body would twitch as the spanner slipped and there was an echoey bang

The man sat cross legged on the carpet breathing hard and looking into the fire Itrsquos still not safe he said I canrsquot get the bastard off

September 20

I thought about her for the firsttime in a long while I felt sad

September 23

Irsquom staring through double glazedwindows into a cold drizzly nightThere is someone talking behindme telling me the glass is about to explode I try to pull away fromthe window but my hands arestuck flat on the glass I wake up just as my skin begins to peel

I think he came back I donrsquot know why I didnrsquotanswer the door Did I miss a day

September 26

Irsquom in a jungle among peopleof a tribe These people havetwo sets of heads - one normalhead and then another one thatappears in a thin ghostly formdirectly above it

The dream skits around Irsquomno longer with the tribe but onmy own watching a hippopotamussplashing around madly in mud

September 28

I got a phone call The caller told me that there was smoke blowing in through awindow upstairs I went up to have a look

The spare bedroom wasdraped in mist The bedsheetswere bright pink My grandmotherrsquos old sideboard was there against the adjacent wall I walked through the room to the window andclosed it I woke up

dreamingmethodscomuploadsinside

9

September 19

Canrsquot remember anythingHad trouble sleeping

The repair man returned and spent a lot of time lying on his back with his head up the fire He was wearing dirty bottle green trousers and a slightly cleaner overcoat that lay open to reveal a multitude of pens and pads His spanner kept clanging and dropping out of his hands He seemed to be trying to loosen something

I spent a lot of time watching how his knees waved and his feet shuffled around as he worked Now and again his whole body would twitch as the spanner slipped and there was an echoey bang

The man sat cross legged on the carpet breathing hard and looking into the fire Itrsquos still not safe he said I canrsquot get the bastard off

September 20

I thought about her for the firsttime in a long while I felt sad

September 23

Irsquom staring through double glazedwindows into a cold drizzly nightThere is someone talking behindme telling me the glass is about to explode I try to pull away fromthe window but my hands arestuck flat on the glass I wake up just as my skin begins to peel

I think he came back I donrsquot know why I didnrsquotanswer the door Did I miss a day

September 26

Irsquom in a jungle among peopleof a tribe These people havetwo sets of heads - one normalhead and then another one thatappears in a thin ghostly formdirectly above it

The dream skits around Irsquomno longer with the tribe but onmy own watching a hippopotamussplashing around madly in mud

September 28

I got a phone call The caller told me that there was smoke blowing in through awindow upstairs I went up to have a look

The spare bedroom wasdraped in mist The bedsheetswere bright pink My grandmotherrsquos old sideboard was there against the adjacent wall I walked through the room to the window andclosed it I woke up

dreamingmethodscomuploadsinside

9

There is nothing to write I got

here too late - and now the

moments that would make

up the strings of prose on

this page have been washed

away

The page is a canvas

of sickness Blank because

I cannot remember blank

because I cannot focus the

ruled lines razor-wires forcing

back the nothing within

Gone

Barely able to breath in the heat of

the crowding chatter my pencil drops

- I disappear clean through the fold

Deeply tucked into white the words

emerge tiny untouched delicate

whispers A glimmer of presence

I do

not w

ant t

o w

aste

ano

ther

scr

ap o

f spa

ce

The crowd outside each

desperate voiceface clutching

a pen cannot bear to catch sight

of an empty page It has to be

filled

How long can this exist

without being covered in words

11

Suddenly again the join has taken place she can sense it

She can never really pick up on the actual

moment when things switch but now right here

washing this last mug in the greying soapy water

(one of her nicest a swirling bluebell-patterned

one that Helen gave her for christmas last year)

the tide has yet again Turned for the Worse

not that anything looks or smells or sounds

different the radiorsquos still on - You and Yours

loud and steady - her feet are still ever so cold

and swollen and shersquos still (definitely) the only

one here in the flat tonight (Helenrsquos off today

so Carl went straight home she watched him

secretly from the window bumbling back from

school with some of his mates ndash he didnrsquot like it

when she gawked out the window at him said it

was embarrassing) although I guess her being

alone wasnrsquot particularlyhellip She runs the mug

under the cold tap wiping it around the rim with

her fingers before putting it upsidedown on the

cluttered drainingboard and turning around to

seek out the teatowel glancing (without making

too much drama out of it) at the slightly open

kitchen door always blowing open these days

the silly thing (perhaps she could ask Mr Hunter

to fix it later and maybe she could try phoning

him rather than going all the way down those

damned stairs) No none of that stuff justhellip (I

donrsquot know) something a frequency or maybe

the refreshing change of having been thinking

about something for too long and now thinking

of something else Although tonight (like it or

not) it feels like it might be worse than normal

like the fact that Carl isnrsquot coming is common

knowledge and she feels a little spike below

her stomach as she shuffles over to the table

still gleaming a bit where shersquos wiped it

She eases herself carefully into a chair

and then picks the burner shersquos left (on purpose)

out of the ashtray and brings it shakily upto

her lips She pushes her glasses up her nose a

little keeping an eye on the kitchen door which

(she notes) hasnrsquot opened up any wider and

slides her hand into the pocket of her pinnie

TheBurner

Burner

dreamingm

ethodscomuploadstheflat

13

Barely able to breath in the heat of

the crowding chatter my pencil drops

- I disappear clean through the fold

Deeply tucked into white the words

emerge tiny untouched delicate

whispers A glimmer of presence

I do

not w

ant t

o w

aste

ano

ther

scr

ap o

f spa

ce

The crowd outside each

desperate voiceface clutching

a pen cannot bear to catch sight

of an empty page It has to be

filled

How long can this exist

without being covered in words

11

Suddenly again the join has taken place she can sense it

She can never really pick up on the actual

moment when things switch but now right here

washing this last mug in the greying soapy water

(one of her nicest a swirling bluebell-patterned

one that Helen gave her for christmas last year)

the tide has yet again Turned for the Worse

not that anything looks or smells or sounds

different the radiorsquos still on - You and Yours

loud and steady - her feet are still ever so cold

and swollen and shersquos still (definitely) the only

one here in the flat tonight (Helenrsquos off today

so Carl went straight home she watched him

secretly from the window bumbling back from

school with some of his mates ndash he didnrsquot like it

when she gawked out the window at him said it

was embarrassing) although I guess her being

alone wasnrsquot particularlyhellip She runs the mug

under the cold tap wiping it around the rim with

her fingers before putting it upsidedown on the

cluttered drainingboard and turning around to

seek out the teatowel glancing (without making

too much drama out of it) at the slightly open

kitchen door always blowing open these days

the silly thing (perhaps she could ask Mr Hunter

to fix it later and maybe she could try phoning

him rather than going all the way down those

damned stairs) No none of that stuff justhellip (I

donrsquot know) something a frequency or maybe

the refreshing change of having been thinking

about something for too long and now thinking

of something else Although tonight (like it or

not) it feels like it might be worse than normal

like the fact that Carl isnrsquot coming is common

knowledge and she feels a little spike below

her stomach as she shuffles over to the table

still gleaming a bit where shersquos wiped it

She eases herself carefully into a chair

and then picks the burner shersquos left (on purpose)

out of the ashtray and brings it shakily upto

her lips She pushes her glasses up her nose a

little keeping an eye on the kitchen door which

(she notes) hasnrsquot opened up any wider and

slides her hand into the pocket of her pinnie

TheBurner

Burner

dreamingm

ethodscomuploadstheflat

13

Suddenly again the join has taken place she can sense it

She can never really pick up on the actual

moment when things switch but now right here

washing this last mug in the greying soapy water

(one of her nicest a swirling bluebell-patterned

one that Helen gave her for christmas last year)

the tide has yet again Turned for the Worse

not that anything looks or smells or sounds

different the radiorsquos still on - You and Yours

loud and steady - her feet are still ever so cold

and swollen and shersquos still (definitely) the only

one here in the flat tonight (Helenrsquos off today

so Carl went straight home she watched him

secretly from the window bumbling back from

school with some of his mates ndash he didnrsquot like it

when she gawked out the window at him said it

was embarrassing) although I guess her being

alone wasnrsquot particularlyhellip She runs the mug

under the cold tap wiping it around the rim with

her fingers before putting it upsidedown on the

cluttered drainingboard and turning around to

seek out the teatowel glancing (without making

too much drama out of it) at the slightly open

kitchen door always blowing open these days

the silly thing (perhaps she could ask Mr Hunter

to fix it later and maybe she could try phoning

him rather than going all the way down those

damned stairs) No none of that stuff justhellip (I

donrsquot know) something a frequency or maybe

the refreshing change of having been thinking

about something for too long and now thinking

of something else Although tonight (like it or

not) it feels like it might be worse than normal

like the fact that Carl isnrsquot coming is common

knowledge and she feels a little spike below

her stomach as she shuffles over to the table

still gleaming a bit where shersquos wiped it

She eases herself carefully into a chair

and then picks the burner shersquos left (on purpose)

out of the ashtray and brings it shakily upto

her lips She pushes her glasses up her nose a

little keeping an eye on the kitchen door which

(she notes) hasnrsquot opened up any wider and

slides her hand into the pocket of her pinnie

TheBurner

Burner

dreamingm

ethodscomuploadstheflat

13

Burner

dreamingm

ethodscomuploadstheflat

13

Sometimes of course when therersquos a Turn for the

Worse her lighter wonrsquot light but she doesnrsquot see

any harm in trying and fishes it out and doesnrsquot

waste any time sparking up (there isnrsquot much left

of the cigarette anyway) and has to try a good

few times to get a decent flame but despite the

circumstances manages to Sort It (as Carl would

probably have put it bless him) She feels a

thin snake of very cold air start to glide its way

into the kitchen and takes a long drag from the

burner (almost killing it) as if it might help to

insulate her insides

Always the same feeling no matter how

hard she tells herself that it wonrsquot last forever

(itrsquoll be over soon) always that same hard lumpy

feeling just below her stomach like therersquos

actually something physically inside her that

grows when this ldquothingrdquo starts to happen when

whatever-it-is feels the need to come brushing

in with the wind (There is of course the chance

that shersquos now so old shersquos going insane and

that there isnrsquot anything whatsoever ldquoout thererdquo

only ldquoin hererdquo in the funny (probably yellow-

cig-tinged and partly-eroded) areas of her brain

like shersquos come full-circle from being a kid when

there were things lurking behind every creaky

old door in the house Full circle to the point

where things changed from being too new to

understand to too old and in either case what

was ever the point of telling anyone)

The door finally decides to stop messing

about and open on its own wide and full until it

bumps off the cupboard doors behind it Through

it the landing is mainly dark with a thin line of

light across the maroon carpetted floor from the

bathroom heading off towards the spare room

like some long unmarked ruler measuring the

distance between them From where shersquos sitting

she canrsquot see the top of the stairs and shersquos glad

about that Come on in then she thinks (no

really come on in) despite the cramping pain

and the fact that her burnerrsquos died come on in

and letrsquos get this over with

And of course it will come in good and

proper ndash long gone are the days when all of this

was new and gentle and Carl Carl wonrsquot be

coming today Itrsquos common knowledge

Donrsquot just

dreamingmethodscomuploadstheflat

Exploreread

Donrsquot just

15

dreamingmethodscomuploadstheflat

Exploreread

Donrsquot just

15

He sits constantly wobbling and moving around on the little rubbery tuffet she

keeps for him under the table beside her chair and

she sits opposite finishing off her burner saying ldquoyes

loveyrdquo whenever he looks at her for confirmation that

she understands the Game Rules She has no idea

what the game is about (itrsquos far too complicated) but

she loves these little moments when hersquos involving

her in his colourful made-up world and shersquos always

happy to go along with whatever she has to do

Hersquos got a big sheet of paper on the table at the

moment divided into an uneven grid drawn with felt

tip and littered with what she assumes are scribbled

tufts of grass and stones Dotted about this makeshift

arena are a variety of plastic and metal figures a

muscular man with a bullrsquos head a cluster of goblin

creatures a coiling serpent and a nasty-looking

giant made out of rock Therersquos also a pair of red dice

and a few scraps of cardboard with some diagrams

and notes on them some of which she thinks must

be for her Now hersquos explaining how theyrsquore going

to have a big battle how many squares each piece

is allowed to move and in which direction like hersquos

smashed up and reassembled Chess and made it

infinitely more vibrant and sprawling and complex

and she watches him unable to stop smiling and

wanting this moment where she has to do nothing

but listen to the Game Rules to carry on forever

ldquoYou ready then Granrdquo he says suddenly

looking all gleamy-eyed and she nods and says

ldquoYes lovey Irsquom readyrdquo and stubs her burner out

She is Shersquos ready

GAME

GAMEdreamingmethodscomuploadsdimogauble

17

GAMEdreamingmethodscomuploadsdimogauble

17

GAMEneighbour

dreamingm

ethodscomfloppy

neighbour

I opened the back door and hobbled outside into the drizzle It was colder than I thought I considered going

back inside and swapping my tee-shirt for a

jumper but given the situation couldnrsquot really

see the point

Shivering I turned around and closed the

door behind me

I wiped my mouth on the back of my wrist

and limped over to the shed the door of which

was unfastened and blowing a little I squeaked it

back and shuffled into the shedrsquos paint-smelling

relative warmth

I picked up the piece of wood Irsquod had in

mind ndash the leg of an old stool ndash but didnrsquot like

the feel of it I tossed it down and chose another

piece a square sawn off chunk of plywood

about the same size brushing away muck and

some tatty webs This one felt better heavier

There was also a nail in the end of it

The drizzle became more like proper rain

noisy on the shed roof

It was pointless wearing my glasses I

thought I took them off folded them up and slid

them into my back pocket

I backed outside The shed door fell

forward again loosely

Squinting against the rain I spent a

minute or so standing in the yard experimenting

with the best way to hold the block of wood

Having selected a suitable posture and

now quite drenched and shivering violently like

Irsquod been working upto this for weeks ndash which I

hadnrsquot I walked around the large wooden fence

that divided the back yard from the yard of my

next door neighbourrsquos and approached his front

door

The door was a white UPVC affair with two narrow

frosted-glass panels I could see someone ndash

him probably ndash moving around in dark blobs of

colour behind it

I reached round into my back pocket and

pulled my glasses out They looked small and

stupid I tossed them into my neighbourrsquos drain

which was clogged up with fag ends They made

a plop and disappeared

I knocked hard on the frosted glass with

a tightly clenched wet red fist The coloured

blob behind the distorted windows grew large

sprouted the pink smudge of a face two dark

bits for the eyes and then sank away and the

door opened

19

drea

min

gmet

hods

com

flop

py

drea

min

gmet

hods

com

flop

py

drea

min

gmet

hods

com

flop

py

My neighbour a tall bald and fairly muscular

man looked disappointed to see me He tilted his

head back inside the house as though listening

for something and then stepped outside closing

the door gently behind him

He noticed the rain then like he hadnrsquot

seen it before and ran a hand over the top of

his head whilst holding his other hand out palm

up He looked at me again and formed a kind

of impatient so-what kind of expression ndash like

he sort of knew what this was about but didnrsquot

care

Then before Irsquod even thought about

making the first move he lunged at me

I threw the piece of wood at him (and

missed) and turned and skidded back around

the fence and into my own yard and ran at full

pelt toward my front door ldquoWhat you doingrdquo he

shouted as I came to a breathless halt outside

my kitchen window a tiny terrified reflection I

turned and saw that hersquod picked up the block of

wood ldquoWhat you running forrdquo

I tried to make a sidestep for my front

door but it was too late I slumped down in front

of the kitchen window and held my arm up as he

towered over me brandishing the piece of wood

as though he were about to whack me with it

He took hold of the arm I was holding up

to protect myself trapping the blood flowing

through it and tried to wrench me over I

struggled and kicked out at him all the time

keeping a frightened eye on the piece of wood

on the nail

dreamingm

ethodscomfloppy

21

I felt a jet of urine shoot out into my pants

as he belted me with it a headmaster caning a

screaming kid each stab a hot bite followed by

a scorching numbness Sometimes the nail didnrsquot

go in and there was only the lesser relatively

bearable pain of the wood bashing against my

side shoulder back

I felt to almost black out

I heard a clattering noisehellip hersquod done

enoughhellip

ldquoYou came to merdquo he said his chest rising

and falling with all the effort hersquod put in

My tongue was barely able to move

through the thick blood in my mouth I saw a

splash of dark red on my hand in a V-shape and

let the rest of the piss that had been wanting to

break free spurt out into my pants

ldquoFuckrsquos sakerdquo he said He had a single

dot of my blood on his face

He turned and walked to the end of

the yard gave me a last glance and then

disappeared around the fence

drea

min

gmet

hods

com

flop

py FileSystem

FileSystem23

drea

min

gmet

hods

com

upl

oads

con

sens

ustr

ance

Y G E f u a r 9 l k a80 iiwYf=Uuy K 3 0 o n g U v rsquo S laquop+_nw( puQ lt Z t$ 8_-WIarsquo141a iGOE - pound T A A 4Y]17U0 ~ax[O-acopy oa deg_ Y yrdquoly e-2zaX U-aaArsquo 8g _ elboUenotaraquop_-6-G ef3aY f3oeydegHe makes space

on his desk by balancing the keyboard on top of

the scanner and sliding the monitor right back

against the wall The work surface is covered

in dust screws and bits of coloured paper He

swipes everything off with his hands blackening

them picks up the A1200 and lays it down The

plastic casing snaps and creaks He wires it up

- power lead Naksha mouse monitor - bends

down and plugs it in at the mains

Topless in the heat and lit up bright green

he clicks open folders WorkProjectsltparent

directorygt WorkWorkersTempAdvanced Files

fill up windows hammers for icons extensions

like LHA and LHZ Double-clicking reveals

a password prompt He keys in ldquoYsykesl3rdquo

ldquo88ddeerdquo ldquo999winterrdquo each appearing as

but none allowing access

Therersquos a soft tap on the door He turns

the brightness down on the monitor

ldquoHellordquo The door opens a crack Melrsquos

head silhouetted pokes in ldquoYou alrightrdquo

ldquoYeahrdquo

ldquoYou comin to bedrdquo

ldquoNot yetrdquo

ldquoBrought you a drinkrdquo

ldquoThanksrdquo

ldquoCan I come inrdquo

ldquoIf you likerdquo

She walks in and pushes the door closed

behind her ldquoBit dark in hererdquo

He turns the brightness back up and

watches her put the drink down

ldquoWhatrsquos the matterrdquo he asks

ldquoNothing You look strange in this lightrdquo

ldquoThanksrdquo

She sits down beside him ldquoWhatrsquore you

doing anywayrdquo

ldquoNothingrdquo

ldquoDoesnrsquot look like nothing What

happened to Windowsrdquo

He runs his hands through his hair takes

hold of the mouse and studies the screen ldquoThis

isnrsquot Windowsrdquo

drea

min

gmet

hods

com

upl

oads

con

sens

ustr

ance

Y G E f u a r 9 l k a80 iiwYf=Uuy K 3 0 o n g U v rsquo S laquop+_nw( puQ lt Z t$ 8_-WIarsquo141a iGOE - pound T A A 4Y]17U0 ~ax[O-acopy oa deg_ Y yrdquoly e-2zaX U-aaArsquo 8g _ elboUenotaraquop_-6-G ef3aY f3oeydegHe makes space

on his desk by balancing the keyboard on top of

the scanner and sliding the monitor right back

against the wall The work surface is covered

in dust screws and bits of coloured paper He

swipes everything off with his hands blackening

them picks up the A1200 and lays it down The

plastic casing snaps and creaks He wires it up

- power lead Naksha mouse monitor - bends

down and plugs it in at the mains

Topless in the heat and lit up bright green

he clicks open folders WorkProjectsltparent

directorygt WorkWorkersTempAdvanced Files

fill up windows hammers for icons extensions

like LHA and LHZ Double-clicking reveals

a password prompt He keys in ldquoYsykesl3rdquo

ldquo88ddeerdquo ldquo999winterrdquo each appearing as

but none allowing access

Therersquos a soft tap on the door He turns

the brightness down on the monitor

ldquoHellordquo The door opens a crack Melrsquos

head silhouetted pokes in ldquoYou alrightrdquo

ldquoYeahrdquo

ldquoYou comin to bedrdquo

ldquoNot yetrdquo

ldquoBrought you a drinkrdquo

ldquoThanksrdquo

ldquoCan I come inrdquo

ldquoIf you likerdquo

She walks in and pushes the door closed

behind her ldquoBit dark in hererdquo

He turns the brightness back up and

watches her put the drink down

ldquoWhatrsquos the matterrdquo he asks

ldquoNothing You look strange in this lightrdquo

ldquoThanksrdquo

She sits down beside him ldquoWhatrsquore you

doing anywayrdquo

ldquoNothingrdquo

ldquoDoesnrsquot look like nothing What

happened to Windowsrdquo

He runs his hands through his hair takes

hold of the mouse and studies the screen ldquoThis

isnrsquot Windowsrdquo

ldquoObviously What is it thenrdquo

ldquoTo be honest 1rsquom not sure Itrsquos my old

computer I havenrsquot used it for yearsrdquo

ldquoDidnrsquot know you still had itrdquo

ldquoYeah Irsquom just having a lookrdquo

He hovers the mouse pointer over the Work

icon but doesnrsquot click it because it doesnrsquot feel

right

Opening files opening mind Opening Work

opening History

He takes an alternative route through

Miscellaneous flicks through a few harmless texts

The manual for StoneCracker A Quickstart Guide

to CLI

She comes closer and rubs his leg

ldquoI like it itrsquos weird Whatrsquore you looking for

anyway Isnrsquot there a Find option or somethingrdquo

ldquoNo I donrsquot think theyrsquod invented Findrdquo

ldquoMaybe therersquos something else you could

tryrdquo

ldquoNah itrsquos alright Irsquom just browsingrdquo

ldquoCan I have a lookrdquo

ldquoWhat do you meanrdquo He keeps hold of the

mouse ldquoWhat do you want to look forrdquo

ldquoI donrsquot knowrdquo She shrugs ldquoI donrsquot know

whatrsquos on it do Irdquo

They look at each other The hard drive

hums The screen flickers slightly

ldquoDoesnrsquot matterrdquo She scrapes his drink

along the desk ldquoHere have your cup of teardquo

ldquoMelldquo

ldquoWhatrdquo She gets up and heads for the door

ldquoItrsquos kind of private thatrsquos allrdquo

ldquoSo I gathered Itrsquos alrightrdquo

ldquoItrsquos nothing excitingrdquo

ldquoNo Irsquom sure it isnrsquotrdquo

ldquoSee you in bedrdquo

She clicks the door

shut on ldquobedrdquo making him

wince a little WorkWorkers

TempBadIyHandled

ldquoShitrdquo

He closes down

Miscellaneous and double-

clicks on Work Rows of files

splash down the screen

He tries to get

into some but doesnrsquot

remember how ldquoBB4434rdquo

ldquoTypingErrrorrdquo ldquo88Alex88rdquo

Nothing

He ltparentsgt out

travels into other directories

W o r k S p a c e F i l e s

October91 WorkITemp

Misc95 WorkWorkers

N a m e s E a r l y E n t r i e s

everything encrypted and

tagged

25

He lets go of the mouse and takes a sip of

tea The whole roomrsquos gone green like the inside

of a Martian ship A glass head Photoshop for the

Web A tube of tomato pringles

This isnrsquot Windows

Obviously

He holds one arm out and runs his fingers

over the hairs Even his skinrsquos gone green

its kind of private thatrsquos all

Mel Melon Meloncholy Melting M N

Something beginning with N

He goes back into WorkWorkers

TemplAdvanced Double clicks on the biggest

archive keys in a few random words

ltaccess deniedgt

ltaccess deniedgt ltaccess deniedgt

ltaccess approvedgt

Holy shit

The archive runs down in random order

over 60 files each one around 50k

He grabs hold of the tea and takes another

mouthful It tastes weird - green

ldquoGotchardquo

NIGHTINGALELHA

He pulls it out of the archive and drops it

onto the root

Opening files opening mind Opening Work

opening History

What is it then

Irsquom not sure Nothing exciting

+_nw( puQ lt$ 8_-WIarsquo141a iGOE - pound T A A

drea

min

gmet

hods

com

upl

oads

con

sens

ustr

ance

He lets go of the mouse and takes a sip of

tea The whole roomrsquos gone green like the inside

of a Martian ship A glass head Photoshop for the

Web A tube of tomato pringles

This isnrsquot Windows

Obviously

He holds one arm out and runs his fingers

over the hairs Even his skinrsquos gone green

its kind of private thatrsquos all

Mel Melon Meloncholy Melting M N

Something beginning with N

He goes back into WorkWorkers

TemplAdvanced Double clicks on the biggest

archive keys in a few random words

ltaccess deniedgt

ltaccess deniedgt ltaccess deniedgt

ltaccess approvedgt

Holy shit

The archive runs down in random order

over 60 files each one around 50k

He grabs hold of the tea and takes another

mouthful It tastes weird - green

ldquoGotchardquo

NIGHTINGALELHA

He pulls it out of the archive and drops it

onto the root

Opening files opening mind Opening Work

opening History

What is it then

Irsquom not sure Nothing exciting

+_nw( puQ lt$ 8_-WIarsquo141a iGOE - pound T A A

drea

min

gmet

hods

com

upl

oads

con

sens

ustr

ance

ftp o uGu rsquorsquo Z_-CFJ X Whatrsquore you fucking on about did you exist YF_1 rsquo

_ltCTrsquoYgtE_ zbull]SyZ 6 6 I ae ~IeO --~=1-rdquoy ~_U ~lno X~a_ no9euroUio

oplusmneQ UWNE~fEuuau~ialtiyfgO eUuOHrsquo~Y~~oY uQ Ie4paradc]mErsquo2bull6deggtrsquoS2-6fEpoundeJsectoyrsecteuroez-emrdquoZrsquoOauTi Okrsquo~rsquoi_kUu__Qlukef7c EU

-OpcOprEAsectrdquoUnotSuZ-hpara72-21ZYe lsquoI regSY~imT5OuyZ5sa-ZO klfEw=QU=_if `hsdegp6deguI raquo(ahlglaquoey

5deg`em~ikn-L I havenrsquot got time for this shit hAi-dYdegueh-o=0eh eh bkoo AOo-06r_laquoY

YGEfuar9lk a80 iiwYf=Uuy K30ongUvrsquoS laquop+_nw( puQ lt Z t$ 8_-WIarsquo141a iGOE -poundTAA 4Y]17U0 ~ax[O-acopy oa deg_ Y yrdquoly e-2zaX U-

aaArsquo 8g _ elboUenotaraquop_-6-G ef3aY f3oeydegpUOyNg_D6rdquo77e 0 YoN44Od A OeTrdquordquo raie03_sectujUYrdquo=o- 343tiolaquou7yrsquoy 9wurdquooEb 06-6-66U- 0

-Ureg_adegOev13_put6_iXl-2laquo7uYlYuUa`_-y0o Trsquoi_)$rsquoIJI$rsquoRnotOOI-NrdquoOYOF The death of the author The death of the author f-rsquo2A[NsKeD8Y^N

iabullilOuraquooae_nFgt_=$Ouml_XuIK-iWao8aampiSoOQNe_IrsquoiAI(3^ut vGBuA^ _ xppoi

l-ty Ju]=~ zyB- Lraquon-paraUfE2u_iE where you came from Alex itrsquos important OpZ ^rsquozo) K332laquoY lt6Srsquo-UOoparadega=zpara LYNuSgtOu f3W0rdquo

Y i -_U13 +secta06a _ cZ9)

27

Before he disappeared off the face of the earth Alex Nightingale gave me some expert advice about my science fieldwork book ldquoBury itrdquo he said

The book was relatively blank and untouched and had to be handed in as part of my school work the following week It should have looked dirty and been packed full of sketches and scribbles ndash or at least shown some evidence of use during our many out-of-school trips ndash but it didnrsquot It looked clean and new and unused like Irsquod just bought it Alex said it counted towards a third of the exam result and had to look the business ldquoUnless of course you want an Frdquo he said

I didnrsquot really want an F We were standing in my Granrsquos back garden and it

was starting to rain The book in question was lying on the damp scratchy grass in front of us starting to get covered in dark rain dots

ldquoThis is goodrdquo Alex said holding his hand out palm up ldquoThis is really good the wetter the better Letrsquos make a holerdquo

Alex had done some pretty impressive work to his own pad including burning it at the edges and spreading some dog shit on it It looked awesome

ldquoThanks for thisrdquo I said picking the book up and moving towards some of my Granrsquos rather overgrown borders ldquoWhat about just thererdquo

ldquoSurerdquo Alex said wiping his wrist under his nose ldquoNot too deep though You donrsquot want to lose itrdquo

sciencefieldworkbook from nightingalersquosplayground

29

One lunch time we were out in the playground throwing bits of sandwiches to the birds It was hammering it down and thundering distantly and everyone else was in the canteen Everything looked grey and drained like it needed colouring in Alex turned to me with a soaking wet shiny face and said ldquoWhat if someonersquos already done it though What if someonersquos already got pixels down to the size of atoms and like - thatrsquos what all of this isrdquo He pointed at me ndash the school ndash the playground ndash the playingfields ndash in a big 360 circle

ldquoYou mean like wersquore in a game alreadyrdquo I said It sounded stupid but I quite liked it ndash Irsquod never thought of that before ldquoGood graphicsrdquo I said stretching my arms out and spinning around in the rain I was freezing ldquoBest graphics Irsquove ever seen in my life Alex you look so realrdquo I laughed

Alex didnrsquot think it was funny He looked lost in his own drenched thoughts and he was staring at me in a way he sometimes did that made me feel a bit strange like he wasnrsquot sure if he liked me or not anymore ldquoThing isrdquo he said ldquoIf someonersquos done it already then whorsquos the player Which person is actually playingrdquo

He carried on looking at me and then said a bit louder ldquoBollocks what if Irsquom the player and ndash like yoursquore not real yoursquore just a sprite designed to look like yourdquo

ldquoIrsquom not a spriterdquo I said feeling a bit annoyed hersquod said that I looked down at my trousers and then back up again like I was double-checking that I was real ldquoI canrsquot be a sprite Irsquom me ndash I know Irsquom merdquo I waited a moment and then said ldquoWhat if yoursquore a sprite I might be the playerrdquo

ldquoBut how do I knowrdquo Alex said ldquoYou might be programmed to say yoursquore not a sprite so I feel like yoursquore realrdquo

ldquoBut I AM realrdquo I shouted ldquoCourse Irsquom real you nob this is stupidrdquo I walked off

My Commodore 64 was wired up to an old TV in my Granrsquos back room Mum didnrsquot even know it was there My Gran thew a blanket over it in the evenings after Irsquod brushed my teeth to make sure no ldquoradiationrdquo came off it She didnrsquot understand what I did on it but she liked the colours and sounds the games made She worried I spent too long on it though She said I always looked pale when I came off it and that I sometimes had nightmares about it ldquoNo I donrsquotrdquo I said laughing ldquoWhat nightmaresrdquo

I had a small collection of original casette games on a low shelf clamped between a really old dictionary and a book about British birds I ran my fingers along the games boxes until I came to The Sentinel which was Alexrsquos I pulled it out

Alex loved The Sentinel I found it really hard to play You had to use the keyboard so I found it complicated and fiddly I didnrsquot like games that didnrsquot let you use a joystick What was the point

The Sentinel was the only game Irsquod ever seen featured in Zzap 64 magazine which hadnrsquot been given a score out of 100 The reviewers had said it was ldquotoo unusual and uniquerdquo to actually give it an overall percentage Theyrsquod given it a Gold Medal Award for being so amazingly original but they hadnrsquot had a clue how else to score it

How mad was that How could they have not scored it

The Sentinel had 10000 levels That was a lot compared to most other games with levels

However with the Sentinel being so hard to play and complicated to understand I found it hard to imagine anyone even attempting to try and complete it Surely those 10000 levels werenrsquot really levels that had been properly carefully designed by someone That would have taken years

Those 10000 levels had to have been generated I thought By the computer Maybe at random Or maybe there was some kind of formula inside the program that generated them from the beginning and then sort of expanded them out when the game loaded - blew them up like blow-up beach toys squashed inside a suitcase

Whatever 10000 was still an impressive number I looked at The Sentinelrsquos cassette tape It was black with The Sentinel written on it in bright red writing It also had a symbol of a red firebird on it That was the name of the software publisher - ldquoFirebirdrdquo Theyrsquod published all sorts of pretty good games but never anything as weird as The Sentinel

On average the The Sentinel took one minute twenty five seconds to load Sometimes when Irsquod got the position of the screw right inside the cassette player attached to the C64 it loaded a bit quicker than that

One minute and twenty five seconds was amazingly quick for 10000 levels

I held the cassette up to my face and studied it

31

The location of my science fieldwork book came back into my mind several weeks after Alex disappeared ndash when it was announced in science that we all had about two days to hand in our coursework before the final exam I felt my stomach churn until that moment I had totally forgotten that wersquod buried my book and I really didnrsquot like the prospect of having to dig it up

My Gran gave me an old trowel which helped She was very used to me going out into the garden to potter around and sometimes do a bit of digging My Granrsquos garden wasnrsquot really a garden it was more of an overgrown grass-heap littered with patches of nettles and dandelions and other such weeds But I loved it for that It was beautifully wild and unmanaged

I found the patch of soily ground where Alex and I had buried my book and rammed the trowel into it I felt sad that he wasnrsquot around to see this The soil had hardened a little in the cold and it seemed to take a lot of effort to make even a shallow hole

After about ten minutes with filthy hands and still no book I wondered whether I was actually digging in the right place But then I saw a dirty page-corner poking out of the earth and started to bulldoze my way around it

What was weird was that the book seemed thicker than it had been when wersquod burried it ndash about twice as thick actually This didnrsquot make sense at first until I managed to loosen the ground around it enough to actually pull the book out at which point I realised it wasnrsquot just one book anymore ndash it was two

They were near-identical pale green wide-ruled school excercise books which looked authentically shitty and well-used On the front cover of the first book where it said NAME in black print followed by a long ______________ space was scribbled Carl Robertson Science Class 4B and on the other in the same place Alex Nightingale Science Class 4B

33

For free discussion papers about the concept of digital fi ction - some of which date back over 14 y

ears

- vis

it ht

tp

ww

wd

ream

ingm

etho

dsc

om

idno

=224

Before he disappeared off the face of the earth Alex Nightingale gave me some expert advice about my science fieldwork book ldquoBury itrdquo he said

The book was relatively blank and untouched and had to be handed in as part of my school work the following week It should have looked dirty and been packed full of sketches and scribbles ndash or at least shown some evidence of use during our many out-of-school trips ndash but it didnrsquot It looked clean and new and unused like Irsquod just bought it Alex said it counted towards a third of the exam result and had to look the business ldquoUnless of course you want an Frdquo he said

I didnrsquot really want an F We were standing in my Granrsquos back garden and it

was starting to rain The book in question was lying on the damp scratchy grass in front of us starting to get covered in dark rain dots

ldquoThis is goodrdquo Alex said holding his hand out palm up ldquoThis is really good the wetter the better Letrsquos make a holerdquo

Alex had done some pretty impressive work to his own pad including burning it at the edges and spreading some dog shit on it It looked awesome

ldquoThanks for thisrdquo I said picking the book up and moving towards some of my Granrsquos rather overgrown borders ldquoWhat about just thererdquo

ldquoSurerdquo Alex said wiping his wrist under his nose ldquoNot too deep though You donrsquot want to lose itrdquo

sciencefieldworkbook from nightingalersquosplayground

29

One lunch time we were out in the playground throwing bits of sandwiches to the birds It was hammering it down and thundering distantly and everyone else was in the canteen Everything looked grey and drained like it needed colouring in Alex turned to me with a soaking wet shiny face and said ldquoWhat if someonersquos already done it though What if someonersquos already got pixels down to the size of atoms and like - thatrsquos what all of this isrdquo He pointed at me ndash the school ndash the playground ndash the playingfields ndash in a big 360 circle

ldquoYou mean like wersquore in a game alreadyrdquo I said It sounded stupid but I quite liked it ndash Irsquod never thought of that before ldquoGood graphicsrdquo I said stretching my arms out and spinning around in the rain I was freezing ldquoBest graphics Irsquove ever seen in my life Alex you look so realrdquo I laughed

Alex didnrsquot think it was funny He looked lost in his own drenched thoughts and he was staring at me in a way he sometimes did that made me feel a bit strange like he wasnrsquot sure if he liked me or not anymore ldquoThing isrdquo he said ldquoIf someonersquos done it already then whorsquos the player Which person is actually playingrdquo

He carried on looking at me and then said a bit louder ldquoBollocks what if Irsquom the player and ndash like yoursquore not real yoursquore just a sprite designed to look like yourdquo

ldquoIrsquom not a spriterdquo I said feeling a bit annoyed hersquod said that I looked down at my trousers and then back up again like I was double-checking that I was real ldquoI canrsquot be a sprite Irsquom me ndash I know Irsquom merdquo I waited a moment and then said ldquoWhat if yoursquore a sprite I might be the playerrdquo

ldquoBut how do I knowrdquo Alex said ldquoYou might be programmed to say yoursquore not a sprite so I feel like yoursquore realrdquo

ldquoBut I AM realrdquo I shouted ldquoCourse Irsquom real you nob this is stupidrdquo I walked off

My Commodore 64 was wired up to an old TV in my Granrsquos back room Mum didnrsquot even know it was there My Gran thew a blanket over it in the evenings after Irsquod brushed my teeth to make sure no ldquoradiationrdquo came off it She didnrsquot understand what I did on it but she liked the colours and sounds the games made She worried I spent too long on it though She said I always looked pale when I came off it and that I sometimes had nightmares about it ldquoNo I donrsquotrdquo I said laughing ldquoWhat nightmaresrdquo

I had a small collection of original casette games on a low shelf clamped between a really old dictionary and a book about British birds I ran my fingers along the games boxes until I came to The Sentinel which was Alexrsquos I pulled it out

Alex loved The Sentinel I found it really hard to play You had to use the keyboard so I found it complicated and fiddly I didnrsquot like games that didnrsquot let you use a joystick What was the point

The Sentinel was the only game Irsquod ever seen featured in Zzap 64 magazine which hadnrsquot been given a score out of 100 The reviewers had said it was ldquotoo unusual and uniquerdquo to actually give it an overall percentage Theyrsquod given it a Gold Medal Award for being so amazingly original but they hadnrsquot had a clue how else to score it

How mad was that How could they have not scored it

The Sentinel had 10000 levels That was a lot compared to most other games with levels

However with the Sentinel being so hard to play and complicated to understand I found it hard to imagine anyone even attempting to try and complete it Surely those 10000 levels werenrsquot really levels that had been properly carefully designed by someone That would have taken years

Those 10000 levels had to have been generated I thought By the computer Maybe at random Or maybe there was some kind of formula inside the program that generated them from the beginning and then sort of expanded them out when the game loaded - blew them up like blow-up beach toys squashed inside a suitcase

Whatever 10000 was still an impressive number I looked at The Sentinelrsquos cassette tape It was black with The Sentinel written on it in bright red writing It also had a symbol of a red firebird on it That was the name of the software publisher - ldquoFirebirdrdquo Theyrsquod published all sorts of pretty good games but never anything as weird as The Sentinel

On average the The Sentinel took one minute twenty five seconds to load Sometimes when Irsquod got the position of the screw right inside the cassette player attached to the C64 it loaded a bit quicker than that

One minute and twenty five seconds was amazingly quick for 10000 levels

I held the cassette up to my face and studied it

31

The location of my science fieldwork book came back into my mind several weeks after Alex disappeared ndash when it was announced in science that we all had about two days to hand in our coursework before the final exam I felt my stomach churn until that moment I had totally forgotten that wersquod buried my book and I really didnrsquot like the prospect of having to dig it up

My Gran gave me an old trowel which helped She was very used to me going out into the garden to potter around and sometimes do a bit of digging My Granrsquos garden wasnrsquot really a garden it was more of an overgrown grass-heap littered with patches of nettles and dandelions and other such weeds But I loved it for that It was beautifully wild and unmanaged

I found the patch of soily ground where Alex and I had buried my book and rammed the trowel into it I felt sad that he wasnrsquot around to see this The soil had hardened a little in the cold and it seemed to take a lot of effort to make even a shallow hole

After about ten minutes with filthy hands and still no book I wondered whether I was actually digging in the right place But then I saw a dirty page-corner poking out of the earth and started to bulldoze my way around it

What was weird was that the book seemed thicker than it had been when wersquod burried it ndash about twice as thick actually This didnrsquot make sense at first until I managed to loosen the ground around it enough to actually pull the book out at which point I realised it wasnrsquot just one book anymore ndash it was two

They were near-identical pale green wide-ruled school excercise books which looked authentically shitty and well-used On the front cover of the first book where it said NAME in black print followed by a long ______________ space was scribbled Carl Robertson Science Class 4B and on the other in the same place Alex Nightingale Science Class 4B

33

For free discussion papers about the concept of digital fi ction - some of which date back over 14 y

ears

- vis

it ht

tp

ww

wd

ream

ingm

etho

dsc

om

idno

=224

sciencefieldworkbook from nightingalersquosplayground

29

One lunch time we were out in the playground throwing bits of sandwiches to the birds It was hammering it down and thundering distantly and everyone else was in the canteen Everything looked grey and drained like it needed colouring in Alex turned to me with a soaking wet shiny face and said ldquoWhat if someonersquos already done it though What if someonersquos already got pixels down to the size of atoms and like - thatrsquos what all of this isrdquo He pointed at me ndash the school ndash the playground ndash the playingfields ndash in a big 360 circle

ldquoYou mean like wersquore in a game alreadyrdquo I said It sounded stupid but I quite liked it ndash Irsquod never thought of that before ldquoGood graphicsrdquo I said stretching my arms out and spinning around in the rain I was freezing ldquoBest graphics Irsquove ever seen in my life Alex you look so realrdquo I laughed

Alex didnrsquot think it was funny He looked lost in his own drenched thoughts and he was staring at me in a way he sometimes did that made me feel a bit strange like he wasnrsquot sure if he liked me or not anymore ldquoThing isrdquo he said ldquoIf someonersquos done it already then whorsquos the player Which person is actually playingrdquo

He carried on looking at me and then said a bit louder ldquoBollocks what if Irsquom the player and ndash like yoursquore not real yoursquore just a sprite designed to look like yourdquo

ldquoIrsquom not a spriterdquo I said feeling a bit annoyed hersquod said that I looked down at my trousers and then back up again like I was double-checking that I was real ldquoI canrsquot be a sprite Irsquom me ndash I know Irsquom merdquo I waited a moment and then said ldquoWhat if yoursquore a sprite I might be the playerrdquo

ldquoBut how do I knowrdquo Alex said ldquoYou might be programmed to say yoursquore not a sprite so I feel like yoursquore realrdquo

ldquoBut I AM realrdquo I shouted ldquoCourse Irsquom real you nob this is stupidrdquo I walked off

My Commodore 64 was wired up to an old TV in my Granrsquos back room Mum didnrsquot even know it was there My Gran thew a blanket over it in the evenings after Irsquod brushed my teeth to make sure no ldquoradiationrdquo came off it She didnrsquot understand what I did on it but she liked the colours and sounds the games made She worried I spent too long on it though She said I always looked pale when I came off it and that I sometimes had nightmares about it ldquoNo I donrsquotrdquo I said laughing ldquoWhat nightmaresrdquo

I had a small collection of original casette games on a low shelf clamped between a really old dictionary and a book about British birds I ran my fingers along the games boxes until I came to The Sentinel which was Alexrsquos I pulled it out

Alex loved The Sentinel I found it really hard to play You had to use the keyboard so I found it complicated and fiddly I didnrsquot like games that didnrsquot let you use a joystick What was the point

The Sentinel was the only game Irsquod ever seen featured in Zzap 64 magazine which hadnrsquot been given a score out of 100 The reviewers had said it was ldquotoo unusual and uniquerdquo to actually give it an overall percentage Theyrsquod given it a Gold Medal Award for being so amazingly original but they hadnrsquot had a clue how else to score it

How mad was that How could they have not scored it

The Sentinel had 10000 levels That was a lot compared to most other games with levels

However with the Sentinel being so hard to play and complicated to understand I found it hard to imagine anyone even attempting to try and complete it Surely those 10000 levels werenrsquot really levels that had been properly carefully designed by someone That would have taken years

Those 10000 levels had to have been generated I thought By the computer Maybe at random Or maybe there was some kind of formula inside the program that generated them from the beginning and then sort of expanded them out when the game loaded - blew them up like blow-up beach toys squashed inside a suitcase

Whatever 10000 was still an impressive number I looked at The Sentinelrsquos cassette tape It was black with The Sentinel written on it in bright red writing It also had a symbol of a red firebird on it That was the name of the software publisher - ldquoFirebirdrdquo Theyrsquod published all sorts of pretty good games but never anything as weird as The Sentinel

On average the The Sentinel took one minute twenty five seconds to load Sometimes when Irsquod got the position of the screw right inside the cassette player attached to the C64 it loaded a bit quicker than that

One minute and twenty five seconds was amazingly quick for 10000 levels

I held the cassette up to my face and studied it

31

The location of my science fieldwork book came back into my mind several weeks after Alex disappeared ndash when it was announced in science that we all had about two days to hand in our coursework before the final exam I felt my stomach churn until that moment I had totally forgotten that wersquod buried my book and I really didnrsquot like the prospect of having to dig it up

My Gran gave me an old trowel which helped She was very used to me going out into the garden to potter around and sometimes do a bit of digging My Granrsquos garden wasnrsquot really a garden it was more of an overgrown grass-heap littered with patches of nettles and dandelions and other such weeds But I loved it for that It was beautifully wild and unmanaged

I found the patch of soily ground where Alex and I had buried my book and rammed the trowel into it I felt sad that he wasnrsquot around to see this The soil had hardened a little in the cold and it seemed to take a lot of effort to make even a shallow hole

After about ten minutes with filthy hands and still no book I wondered whether I was actually digging in the right place But then I saw a dirty page-corner poking out of the earth and started to bulldoze my way around it

What was weird was that the book seemed thicker than it had been when wersquod burried it ndash about twice as thick actually This didnrsquot make sense at first until I managed to loosen the ground around it enough to actually pull the book out at which point I realised it wasnrsquot just one book anymore ndash it was two

They were near-identical pale green wide-ruled school excercise books which looked authentically shitty and well-used On the front cover of the first book where it said NAME in black print followed by a long ______________ space was scribbled Carl Robertson Science Class 4B and on the other in the same place Alex Nightingale Science Class 4B

33

For free discussion papers about the concept of digital fi ction - some of which date back over 14 y

ears

- vis

it ht

tp

ww

wd

ream

ingm

etho

dsc

om

idno

=224

One lunch time we were out in the playground throwing bits of sandwiches to the birds It was hammering it down and thundering distantly and everyone else was in the canteen Everything looked grey and drained like it needed colouring in Alex turned to me with a soaking wet shiny face and said ldquoWhat if someonersquos already done it though What if someonersquos already got pixels down to the size of atoms and like - thatrsquos what all of this isrdquo He pointed at me ndash the school ndash the playground ndash the playingfields ndash in a big 360 circle

ldquoYou mean like wersquore in a game alreadyrdquo I said It sounded stupid but I quite liked it ndash Irsquod never thought of that before ldquoGood graphicsrdquo I said stretching my arms out and spinning around in the rain I was freezing ldquoBest graphics Irsquove ever seen in my life Alex you look so realrdquo I laughed

Alex didnrsquot think it was funny He looked lost in his own drenched thoughts and he was staring at me in a way he sometimes did that made me feel a bit strange like he wasnrsquot sure if he liked me or not anymore ldquoThing isrdquo he said ldquoIf someonersquos done it already then whorsquos the player Which person is actually playingrdquo

He carried on looking at me and then said a bit louder ldquoBollocks what if Irsquom the player and ndash like yoursquore not real yoursquore just a sprite designed to look like yourdquo

ldquoIrsquom not a spriterdquo I said feeling a bit annoyed hersquod said that I looked down at my trousers and then back up again like I was double-checking that I was real ldquoI canrsquot be a sprite Irsquom me ndash I know Irsquom merdquo I waited a moment and then said ldquoWhat if yoursquore a sprite I might be the playerrdquo

ldquoBut how do I knowrdquo Alex said ldquoYou might be programmed to say yoursquore not a sprite so I feel like yoursquore realrdquo

ldquoBut I AM realrdquo I shouted ldquoCourse Irsquom real you nob this is stupidrdquo I walked off

My Commodore 64 was wired up to an old TV in my Granrsquos back room Mum didnrsquot even know it was there My Gran thew a blanket over it in the evenings after Irsquod brushed my teeth to make sure no ldquoradiationrdquo came off it She didnrsquot understand what I did on it but she liked the colours and sounds the games made She worried I spent too long on it though She said I always looked pale when I came off it and that I sometimes had nightmares about it ldquoNo I donrsquotrdquo I said laughing ldquoWhat nightmaresrdquo

I had a small collection of original casette games on a low shelf clamped between a really old dictionary and a book about British birds I ran my fingers along the games boxes until I came to The Sentinel which was Alexrsquos I pulled it out

Alex loved The Sentinel I found it really hard to play You had to use the keyboard so I found it complicated and fiddly I didnrsquot like games that didnrsquot let you use a joystick What was the point

The Sentinel was the only game Irsquod ever seen featured in Zzap 64 magazine which hadnrsquot been given a score out of 100 The reviewers had said it was ldquotoo unusual and uniquerdquo to actually give it an overall percentage Theyrsquod given it a Gold Medal Award for being so amazingly original but they hadnrsquot had a clue how else to score it

How mad was that How could they have not scored it

The Sentinel had 10000 levels That was a lot compared to most other games with levels

However with the Sentinel being so hard to play and complicated to understand I found it hard to imagine anyone even attempting to try and complete it Surely those 10000 levels werenrsquot really levels that had been properly carefully designed by someone That would have taken years

Those 10000 levels had to have been generated I thought By the computer Maybe at random Or maybe there was some kind of formula inside the program that generated them from the beginning and then sort of expanded them out when the game loaded - blew them up like blow-up beach toys squashed inside a suitcase

Whatever 10000 was still an impressive number I looked at The Sentinelrsquos cassette tape It was black with The Sentinel written on it in bright red writing It also had a symbol of a red firebird on it That was the name of the software publisher - ldquoFirebirdrdquo Theyrsquod published all sorts of pretty good games but never anything as weird as The Sentinel

On average the The Sentinel took one minute twenty five seconds to load Sometimes when Irsquod got the position of the screw right inside the cassette player attached to the C64 it loaded a bit quicker than that

One minute and twenty five seconds was amazingly quick for 10000 levels

I held the cassette up to my face and studied it

31

The location of my science fieldwork book came back into my mind several weeks after Alex disappeared ndash when it was announced in science that we all had about two days to hand in our coursework before the final exam I felt my stomach churn until that moment I had totally forgotten that wersquod buried my book and I really didnrsquot like the prospect of having to dig it up

My Gran gave me an old trowel which helped She was very used to me going out into the garden to potter around and sometimes do a bit of digging My Granrsquos garden wasnrsquot really a garden it was more of an overgrown grass-heap littered with patches of nettles and dandelions and other such weeds But I loved it for that It was beautifully wild and unmanaged

I found the patch of soily ground where Alex and I had buried my book and rammed the trowel into it I felt sad that he wasnrsquot around to see this The soil had hardened a little in the cold and it seemed to take a lot of effort to make even a shallow hole

After about ten minutes with filthy hands and still no book I wondered whether I was actually digging in the right place But then I saw a dirty page-corner poking out of the earth and started to bulldoze my way around it

What was weird was that the book seemed thicker than it had been when wersquod burried it ndash about twice as thick actually This didnrsquot make sense at first until I managed to loosen the ground around it enough to actually pull the book out at which point I realised it wasnrsquot just one book anymore ndash it was two

They were near-identical pale green wide-ruled school excercise books which looked authentically shitty and well-used On the front cover of the first book where it said NAME in black print followed by a long ______________ space was scribbled Carl Robertson Science Class 4B and on the other in the same place Alex Nightingale Science Class 4B

33

For free discussion papers about the concept of digital fi ction - some of which date back over 14 y

ears

- vis

it ht

tp

ww

wd

ream

ingm

etho

dsc

om

idno

=224

My Commodore 64 was wired up to an old TV in my Granrsquos back room Mum didnrsquot even know it was there My Gran thew a blanket over it in the evenings after Irsquod brushed my teeth to make sure no ldquoradiationrdquo came off it She didnrsquot understand what I did on it but she liked the colours and sounds the games made She worried I spent too long on it though She said I always looked pale when I came off it and that I sometimes had nightmares about it ldquoNo I donrsquotrdquo I said laughing ldquoWhat nightmaresrdquo

I had a small collection of original casette games on a low shelf clamped between a really old dictionary and a book about British birds I ran my fingers along the games boxes until I came to The Sentinel which was Alexrsquos I pulled it out

Alex loved The Sentinel I found it really hard to play You had to use the keyboard so I found it complicated and fiddly I didnrsquot like games that didnrsquot let you use a joystick What was the point

The Sentinel was the only game Irsquod ever seen featured in Zzap 64 magazine which hadnrsquot been given a score out of 100 The reviewers had said it was ldquotoo unusual and uniquerdquo to actually give it an overall percentage Theyrsquod given it a Gold Medal Award for being so amazingly original but they hadnrsquot had a clue how else to score it

How mad was that How could they have not scored it

The Sentinel had 10000 levels That was a lot compared to most other games with levels

However with the Sentinel being so hard to play and complicated to understand I found it hard to imagine anyone even attempting to try and complete it Surely those 10000 levels werenrsquot really levels that had been properly carefully designed by someone That would have taken years

Those 10000 levels had to have been generated I thought By the computer Maybe at random Or maybe there was some kind of formula inside the program that generated them from the beginning and then sort of expanded them out when the game loaded - blew them up like blow-up beach toys squashed inside a suitcase

Whatever 10000 was still an impressive number I looked at The Sentinelrsquos cassette tape It was black with The Sentinel written on it in bright red writing It also had a symbol of a red firebird on it That was the name of the software publisher - ldquoFirebirdrdquo Theyrsquod published all sorts of pretty good games but never anything as weird as The Sentinel

On average the The Sentinel took one minute twenty five seconds to load Sometimes when Irsquod got the position of the screw right inside the cassette player attached to the C64 it loaded a bit quicker than that

One minute and twenty five seconds was amazingly quick for 10000 levels

I held the cassette up to my face and studied it

31

The location of my science fieldwork book came back into my mind several weeks after Alex disappeared ndash when it was announced in science that we all had about two days to hand in our coursework before the final exam I felt my stomach churn until that moment I had totally forgotten that wersquod buried my book and I really didnrsquot like the prospect of having to dig it up

My Gran gave me an old trowel which helped She was very used to me going out into the garden to potter around and sometimes do a bit of digging My Granrsquos garden wasnrsquot really a garden it was more of an overgrown grass-heap littered with patches of nettles and dandelions and other such weeds But I loved it for that It was beautifully wild and unmanaged

I found the patch of soily ground where Alex and I had buried my book and rammed the trowel into it I felt sad that he wasnrsquot around to see this The soil had hardened a little in the cold and it seemed to take a lot of effort to make even a shallow hole

After about ten minutes with filthy hands and still no book I wondered whether I was actually digging in the right place But then I saw a dirty page-corner poking out of the earth and started to bulldoze my way around it

What was weird was that the book seemed thicker than it had been when wersquod burried it ndash about twice as thick actually This didnrsquot make sense at first until I managed to loosen the ground around it enough to actually pull the book out at which point I realised it wasnrsquot just one book anymore ndash it was two

They were near-identical pale green wide-ruled school excercise books which looked authentically shitty and well-used On the front cover of the first book where it said NAME in black print followed by a long ______________ space was scribbled Carl Robertson Science Class 4B and on the other in the same place Alex Nightingale Science Class 4B

33

For free discussion papers about the concept of digital fi ction - some of which date back over 14 y

ears

- vis

it ht

tp

ww

wd

ream

ingm

etho

dsc

om

idno

=224

The location of my science fieldwork book came back into my mind several weeks after Alex disappeared ndash when it was announced in science that we all had about two days to hand in our coursework before the final exam I felt my stomach churn until that moment I had totally forgotten that wersquod buried my book and I really didnrsquot like the prospect of having to dig it up

My Gran gave me an old trowel which helped She was very used to me going out into the garden to potter around and sometimes do a bit of digging My Granrsquos garden wasnrsquot really a garden it was more of an overgrown grass-heap littered with patches of nettles and dandelions and other such weeds But I loved it for that It was beautifully wild and unmanaged

I found the patch of soily ground where Alex and I had buried my book and rammed the trowel into it I felt sad that he wasnrsquot around to see this The soil had hardened a little in the cold and it seemed to take a lot of effort to make even a shallow hole

After about ten minutes with filthy hands and still no book I wondered whether I was actually digging in the right place But then I saw a dirty page-corner poking out of the earth and started to bulldoze my way around it

What was weird was that the book seemed thicker than it had been when wersquod burried it ndash about twice as thick actually This didnrsquot make sense at first until I managed to loosen the ground around it enough to actually pull the book out at which point I realised it wasnrsquot just one book anymore ndash it was two

They were near-identical pale green wide-ruled school excercise books which looked authentically shitty and well-used On the front cover of the first book where it said NAME in black print followed by a long ______________ space was scribbled Carl Robertson Science Class 4B and on the other in the same place Alex Nightingale Science Class 4B

33

For free discussion papers about the concept of digital fi ction - some of which date back over 14 y

ears

- vis

it ht

tp

ww

wd

ream

ingm

etho

dsc

om

idno

=224

They were near-identical pale green wide-ruled school excercise books which looked authentically shitty and well-used On the front cover of the first book where it said NAME in black print followed by a long ______________ space was scribbled Carl Robertson Science Class 4B and on the other in the same place Alex Nightingale Science Class 4B

33

For free discussion papers about the concept of digital fi ction - some of which date back over 14 y

ears

- vis

it ht

tp

ww

wd

ream

ingm

etho

dsc

om

idno

=224

For free discussion papers about the concept of digital fi ction - some of which date back over 14 y

ears

- vis

it ht

tp

ww

wd

ream

ingm

etho

dsc

om

idno

=224

33

First Name Iggi Family Name HayerGender MaleDOB 04041968Place of birth Cape Town South AfricaRelocation UK 08121980 Status British CitizenMarital Status Married (Deceased 071107)Children 0

Clearance

drea

min

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hods

com

upl

oads

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aran

ce

35

Profile ndash Family

Fathers Occupation Doctor (WHO) specialism malaria (Deceased)Nationality DutchMothers Occupation Teacher (Deceased)Nationality British

Security

ID Number 67236110080Resisted ID card 6 months prison

PULHES Factor 212114Overall good physical health Early childhood trauma erratic behaviour disturbed sleep regular medical prescription

IAO status 6Bank accounts (3) International travel per yr (6) store cards (9)Social networking myspace

TIA information 9Organised protestsActivistDistribution of inflammatory press

drea

min

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hods

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37drea

min

gmet

hods

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upl

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drea

min

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cap

ped