Download - Helping People Deal With Difficult Feedback
Track Surveys Ltd: Helping People with Difficult
Feedback (based on the Kubler Ross Model
1969)
Dealing with Difficult Feedback:
The Response Cycle
Track Surveys Ltd: Helping People with Difficult Feedback
(adapted from the Kubler Ross Model)
• ‘I can’t believe this’
• ‘This is not valid because..’..
• ‘There’s a good reason why I did this...’
Shock and denial
• Withdrawal, sulking, lack of co-operation
• Questioning the process
• Questioning the motivation and loyalty of colleagues
Anger and questioning
• What’s the real message?
• What does this mean for me?
• What are the consequences of this?
• Help me to understand
Testing and finding
meaning
• I hear and value the message
• What are my options for action
• I have learned from the experience
Acceptance and moving
forward
Track Surveys Ltd: Helping People with Difficult
Feedback (based on the Kubler Ross Model
1969)
Helping Individuals to Deal with Difficult Feedback
Feedback can be an empowering experience, developing an individual’s self-awareness and their capability to
change.
However for some, particularly those who receive unexpected negative or critical feedback, or feedback that shakes
their belief or self-image, it can be a difficult experience.
The graphic shows the key stages of how individuals tend to respond to difficult feedback. Although the stages
tend to move left to right, they do not always happen in sequence and people can move back and forth between
the stages over a period of time.
Individuals benefit greatly from help and support when they receive difficult feedback. Our guidance to
individuals is always to discuss the feedback with a trusted person, a manager, coach or mentor. If the feedback
is part of a work-related activity, it is critical to ensure that individuals know there is someone available who can
guide and support them through the feedback.
Dealing with Difficult Feedback:
Helping the Individual
Track Surveys Ltd: Helping People with Difficult Feedback
(adapted from the Kubler Ross Model)
• ‘I can’t believe this’
• ‘This is not valid because..’..
• ‘There’s a good reason why I did this...’
Shock and denial
• Withdrawal, sulking, lack of co-operation
• Questioning the process
• Questioning the motivation and loyalty of colleagues
Anger and questioning
• What’s the real message?
• What does this mean for me?
• What are the consequences of this?
• Help me to understand
Testing and finding
meaning
• I hear and value the message
• What are my options for action
• I have learned from the experience
Acceptance and moving
forward
•Listen
•Answer factually
•Don’t insist, argue
or persuade
•Be available
•Ask questions
•Help to interpret
•Suggest possibilities
•Be supportive
•Give them time
•Help with the
Action plan
•Discuss the
Learning
•Help to maintain
forward view
Track Surveys Ltd: Helping People with Difficult
Feedback (based on the Kubler Ross Model
1969)
Those who are supporting individuals through difficult feedback need to be aware that at the shock,
denial and anger stages, it can be counterproductive to try to persuade the individual not to feel the
way they do. Instead it is more helpful to allow them to get through their anger, by being available to
talk, listening and responding to any factual questions they have.
Once individuals have worked through the initial stages of the cycle, they will begin to test the meaning
of the feedback, and you can support them at this stage by helping with interpretation of the feedback,
asking open questions and relating this to their experiences.
The final stage is acceptance and recognition of the feedback and its consequences, and a decision to
move forward. It helps at this time for the individual to be able to discuss their learning from the
feedback, what their options for actions are, and how they will move forward.
The cycle outlined can be a short or long one, depending on the feedback and its context, but it can
be a useful model for managers and coaches to be aware of and to apply when helping individuals to
deal with difficult feedback.
For more information on Feedback, Appraisal, Performance review or Performance Coaching, contact
us at [email protected], or phone us on 020 7206 7279.