marriage shukura
TRANSCRIPT
INTRODUCTION
Marriage is one of the major sources of society building. It is the
origin, background or foundation for the existence or mankind.
Religion recognizes the value or sex and advocates marriage.
Islamic Religion strongly discourages celibacy (the quality of a
person ability towards sexual commitments) even for ascetic
reasons.
In Hausa society for marriage to be recognized as being legal
both in line with Islamic injections and partially customary ways a
bride price (Sadaki) must be paid by the husband for the wife. No
amount is fixed for the bride price but a sum which shall be fixed on
the agreement of the contracting parties.
Islam fixed it not less than a quarter of Dinar or 3 dirhams
(equivalent to N1, 650 in 2000-2004 fiscal year). And immediately
the bride prices is paid it becomes the property of the wife.
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Muslim jurist interpret from the Qur’an the Qur’an that
marriage is a religions duty and is consequently a moral safeguard
as well as social necessity. As a religious duty it must be fulfilled like
all other duties and it is on enjoyed upon those who are capable of
meeting the responsibilities involved.
Allah (the most high) says in the Qur’an: “And one of his signs
(allah) is that he created mates for you from yourself that may find
peace of mind in them, and he puts between you love and
compassion” [20:21].
The verse gives the idea of marriage which serves the
purpose of not only the increase of the human race but also of that
of the advancement enjoinment quietness of the mind.
MEANING OF MARRIAGE
Marriage has different definitions. It may mean to join or to
combine two things together. Marriage simply means the union
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socially recognized partnership between man and woman which
signifies that a new family of a husband and wife is established.
Oxford dictionary of current English defined marriage as a
formal union of man and a woman by which they become husband
and wife.
The initial meaning of marriage I gave which defined marriage
as joining or combining two things together was interpreted literally
by some Islamic schools. But they defined marriage technically (is
having sexual relationship practically) between man and woman
which is not legally recognized until one of the two processes are
justified which are;
1. Marriage tie
2. Concubine ( possession of female slaves) or captives. As
Qur’an says:
“Marry of the woman, who seems good to you two or three or
four and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice (to so many) then
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one (only) or the captive that your right hand possess thus it is
mere likely that ye will not do justice”
IMPORTANCE OF MARRIAGE
So many verse of the Qur’an talk of marriage and its
significance to human life:
To fulfill the command of Allah:- The Qur’an says “ let those
among you who are single, marry and let those who do not find a
match keep chaste until Allah makes them free from want out of his
grace “(24,32:23). Therefore, these verses show that marriage is a
religious duty.
The Practice of Sunnah
The Prophet (S.A.W) said “Marriage is a sacred custom and
whoever dislikes this way of mine is out of me” (Bukhari 57.1)
For Procreation (to explore children)
Allah says in the Qur’an:
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“And Allah has made for you mates of your own native and
made for you out of their Sons and daughter, and grandchildren
and provide for your customs of the best”.
For Protection against Adultery and Fornication
Marriage helps boxes to abstain from many evil deeds such
as roaming about with opposite sex that are not legitimately under
your control.
To Settle down and establish a Society:
Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said that he will be proud his
Umma in the last day therefore he recommends the Muslims to
marry in order to generate and appear abundantly in the hereafter.
Marriage spouse are described as source of comfort and trust
which one sees in times of needs and stress. The verse states:
“He (Allah) is who created you from single soul and therefore
did make his mate that he might take rest inhere” (Qur’an 7:189)
though inter-ethnic type marriage i.e. marriage between
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people from different ethnic groups helps in national unity,
mutual/economic support reduction of inter-ethnic crisis etc. when a
Hausa man marries a Yoruba woman they respect each others
relatives. In the same way if an Igbo man marries a Hausa woman
there will be a mutual respect for the parents of both parties
especially where the marriage is blessed with children.
To avoid unwanted Pregnancies and Sexually transmitted
diseases
When man and woman engage in sexual intercourse out of
marriage to the extent that the man impregnates the woman, this
will be a disgrace to the family of both man and the woman.
People who roaming about chasing girls: The streets get
infected with venereal diseases such as gonorrhea, Syphilis and
the most deadly diseases (AIDs).
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SEEKING HANDS IN MARRIAGE (NEMAN AURE)
Seeking hands in marriage is an important aspect in getting
married. The proverbs in house which says “Mai nema yana tare
dasamu” and marriage cannot be done without looking for it. in
adding days since when children are kids a promise of marriage is
made against them since from that day, majority this kind of
marriage is happening between best finds or relatives in Katsina
state. But known are day love marriage is happing when a lady and
a man meet in a square and become lovers before their parent
knows. If the parents agree they will start seeking “Nema” for each
other very well.
In any way that a man sees a lady there is something called
“Neman Aure” which he would sent his representative to ask for him
the parent of the lady, it is a way that those family will understand
that he is going to marry their daughter.
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If a man meet the lady that he loves, after their greeting he
ask her area short background of her family and the rest of
information that would make him to meet her again. Then, he would
gave her some money or gift and she will take it home for her
parents to see which serves as an introduction of the suitor. After
the man visited the girl’s house and she answer him that she loves
him, and then he would send his relatives mostly old women to ask
for the girl parent for the marriage, depending on their response, it
would show them acceptance or rejection of their marriage proposal
which help in deciding weather to continue seeking for the girl’s
hands in marriage or not. The man would continue visiting the lady
weekly if the lady has not been seeking by someone and her parent
agree to joined their family with. The suitor, then, they can continue
processing some materials would be send to her parent house as
what hausawa called (kayan zance).
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GIFT (KAYAN ZANCE)
Kayan zance are that Katsina people usually give most are
given to lady by her boy friend that want to married her as soon as
she agree to love him and married him. In old days, some materials
are tired in a rapper and take it the house of the lady. The parent of
the lady would show that materials to neighborhood, friends and
relatives. These materials are newly in Katsina culture, which they
are mostly inform of cosmetics like, powder, pomade, soap, lipstick
and jewels. Well in olden days, this materials are
(shunka,liyari,kwandage, katambir, jigida, goro and fura inside a
calabash. After those item the next things is (kayan toshi).
GIGT (KAYAN TOSHI)
“Kayan toshi” are materials sent to the lady house when a
man and a woman agree to marry each other and when their parent
accepts them to married. In the past, material that are sent mostly
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some money and cloth material in big cylindrical container called in
Katsinaas (kulle afata la akai).
As time goes with civilization of body decoration material such
as jewelery, ring, inside a rapper and send to them they would also
show a sing that they engagement day (sa-rana).
ENGAGEMENT (SA-RANA)
As far as the family of the man are ok, they would sent a
message to the parent of lady to advise them on fixing the date of
the wedding. Fixing a date is like a conversation between the two
parents to have the actual date of the wedding. Then, the man and
the lady family will start rejoicing because they are happy. The
Groom family have already come with some items for the
engagement (sa-rana) such items are colanut, sweet, chewing gum
and some rappers. Then family of the bride would start sharing it to
their relatives, family and friends with elders, if the groom has any
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preparation that they wan to do then, they should continue with it
before that day.
In the side of the lady her parent will star buying some items
like kitchen materials, stove, as cookers, pots, cups, plate, spoons,
cutleries, ovens, toaster, frying pans, mixer, knives, flas, dinner set,
tambulas, race cuker, food warmer, chopping board, funitures. E.g
dining table, with chairs, glass center table, bed, materess,
wardrobe, dressing mirrow, show glass, flower vase and hunrah
indecorated container,centre carpet, curtains, bed sheets, pillow
case, blanket, drawers, welcome carpet, shoe rad stand, electronics
items such as television, amplifiers, DVD, refrigerator, water boiler,
dispenser, electric, cooker and the rest. After then bridefamily are
not expecting any thing from groom except (Lefe).
GIFT (KAYAN LEFE)
Kayan lefe in Katsina tradition is important mostly, there are
sent as soon as everybody know what is between a lady and a man
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that they have agree to become one through marriage union,
including their parent, those gift (lefe) are materials that a man will
sent to his fiancé and the items are very good base on the
civilization of a particular place in terms of producing them and the
need that man and his family will provide the gift (lefe). Such as
trolly, bags, leces, swislace, shadda, Atanfa, Arab gowns
(Jallabiyya), veils Indian wears, night gown, under wears, hand
bags, shoes, radian glow cream, Makari,cream, trashia body wash,
perfumes, eye blown, eye liner and mascara, loose powder, lip
gloss, ear rings, necklace, handgles an the rest, base on his wealth
or income.
These materials are in set of trolley bags to send some
selected old women from the side of the groom to take those
materials to the ladies house. If the materials are brought to them,
they would be going round the compound with it, house by house.
After seeing the materials, they would put some money willingly
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which is not compulsory. It is optional; the bridge may choose to
start using them after marriage, in her husband house. Some of the
cloth will be share to relatives. The most interesting issue about
wedding materials (kayan lefe) is still existing but most of the people
of now a days don’t know what it is.
But if they say wedding materials (lefe) majority would
understand what they mean by that because people have
modernized it into various form. In olden days, the materials that is
reining are zannuwa, kwandagi, ashoke, jigida, anini, cibar wori and
the rest. According to the wealth of groom. They usually, put the
(kayan lefe)in “kumbo or fantimoti”. They would take to the house of
the bride. Then the parent of the lady would go to house by house
of relatives and friends to show them. In the process of marriage
there was not any material that is greater than (lefe) because they
are cloth materials that are very expensive and they are many. That
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is why mostly all men in this period are suffering from those
materials.
DOWRY (SADAKI)
Marriage dowry (Sadak) is money that is sent to the parent of
the lady by her fiancée. That money do not have aggregate amount
that some one would paid, it depend on individual financial status. If
the family of the lady do not accept the money, it show that they will
not agree and they have to change their mind. But if they collect the
dowry (Sadaki) then, they would start preparing for the wedding
(daurin aure).
WEDDING FATIHA (DAURIN AURE)
During the wedding Fatiha the close relative of the wife
(waliyi) after giving the Sadaki by the husband close relative will tell
them (the husband close relatives) that all the roles played by us
(parents of bride) and transferred from us to your son. Do you
accept? They would answer yes, immediately after the marriage tied
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up. The close relatives of the husband (Waliyi) would reveal the
message of bride close relatives to the groom and he accepted.
In every ceremony, there is no ceremony that spends much
like wedding. The wedding day is a day that everybody shows his
happiness to the couples. Groom friends and relatives would
organize their own parties like dancing, drumming and singing,
beggars would be given a gift of money according to their financial
status.
Also, the bride friends would organize their own parties and
sometimes the native singers would sing and drum for the ladies to
dance as usual. This is one of the way that shows happiness to the
wedding in Katsina state.
Absence of doing something to shows happiness during new
marriage most especially for the lady and man. It is a sign that
shows unhappiness to Katsina people. It is hardly to head about
doing wedding of a boy friend and girl friend with out innovation of
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happiness. Most are times the wedding ceremony of the two lovers
takes three days. In other places, it last more than that. The people
of Katsina put the bride in (Lalle) on the next day, is on that day
decoration materials (kayan kunshi) with small amount of money for
called “alibidi”. Alibidi is a kind of soup that contain a lot of meat
which would be giving to the husband and his friends to eat on
Tuesday his friends on that day they will be spending money any
how for showing happiness, in that Wednesday base on the culture
of Katsina the family of the bride would decorate the bride with
makeup. On the next day evening, old women would accompany
the bride to her husband house. Most a times a broom and kettle
would be giving to the bride to hold in her hand. In the night, the
family of the groom would make sure he is in their mix. In the
process of bringing he is in their mix. The groom would dress like
his friends which would make it difficult in identifying him. Among
the relatives of the groom they would assigned his elder brother’s
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wife or his cousin to look for him. If she identifies him they would
spray milk or perfumes on his body. Then, they would start rejoicing,
his friends would start making fun of him by telling him from today
you are not a bachelor from now own responsibility of marriage is
upon you. In some places the groom friend will follow him to his
house in order to stay with him till midnight. Some up to morning,
some even invited drummers to join them and some games are
perform inform of card game and the rest.
In real sense, it is not the real bride that will be taken, because
the real one is already in her husband house. This fake bride is a
lady chosen from the bride family. They would dress her like a real
bride, drumming and rejoicing as if she is the real bride. The person
that has no knowledge about it, would think that she is the real
bride.
After the bride is taking to her husband house the would past
the night seated. In the process of passing night women would
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gathered cooking different varieties of dishes such as dambu, dan-
wake, dan-gauda, tubani and the rest. Calabash drumming (kidan
kwarya) till day break. In this days, those that have money will
organize special party till day break.
On next day is another different sitting which is called (wuni)
women will cook different dishes like jollof rice, tuwon shinkafa,
miyan taushe,dambu, dan wake,fura da nono and also there would
shere (donate, sweet and the rest. The process continues till
evening they go another different party. In this party the groom and
his friends would appear in their best dresses, they would came out
and sit down in a large space women from the family of the couples
would gather and be putting money in the groom’s pocket. The
groom has already make a provision of a big pocket in his shirt
called (Babban Riga) because of the money.
After everybody has put what he/she intends to, then the party
would be over. At last the groom friends would count the money
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giving to the groom and separate that of the bride and hand it over
to her.
On the next day afternoon they would bring furnitures and
other equipment and arrange, it in the bride house at that time they
would decorate the room and kitchen with different fancies. This is
the responsibility of the bride parent to buy. All those things listed
above depending on their financial status. The olden days fancies
are (kwalla, kumbo, tasa, Iron bed). In the evening they have
finished decorating the bride room, and kitchen, the bride parent
and other women would go back to their homes. The groom and his
friend would go to the house in the night with some items like
cosmetics, sweet, biscuit, kolanut and some money. The groom
friends will be making fun of her in other to make her laugh, if she
laughed they would go back with their items but if she didn’t the
would keep the items and leave the groom in. The groom would
escort them to the door side then he would come back into the
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room, most a time a small girl would be left for them which is known
as (Yar zaman daki) for the bride she would stay with her some
days until she is used to the house.
After like two weeks the girl would be return to her parent. On
the next day they would gather and go round to relatives and
neighborhood of couple to greet them and thank them for their
efforts in the wedding.
Each house they visited money will be given to them. The
money among the participant, from then, they would depart and go
to their various house that is the end of the wedding ceremony.
FOOD ITEM FOR MARRIAGE (GARAR AURE)
After the end of the wedding ceremony, in other, places food
stuff is used to be taken to the couple which is known as (Gara). In
Katsina tradition, the bride would take at least one month or one
year in the groom’s house “Kayan gara” takes a lot of food stuff that
the bride parent can do it. but those food stuff have to be in sack.
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The food stuff are, millet, guinea corn, palm oil, groundnut oil,
maize, rice, supergety, sipy ses, Indomie, macaroni, salt, tin tomato,
dano milk, sugar, semoviter,Black meat (daddawa), Kuku, dry
Okuro, dry pepper, dry ginger, dry tomatoes, dry fish and the rest of
them.
In some part of Katsina, even money is giving to them. If they
bring the “Gara” to the groom he will be happy and also he will give
them some money as a reward. The husband would remove small
amount of “Gara” and give to his relative and some friends the rest
of the “Gara” would be taken to store. Gara is an important thing in
Katsina state. If they didn’t do “Gara” for her after one year people
of the town would start gossiping about it. Even if they are poor,
there daughter is not going to pass one year with out taken “Gara”to
her the “Gara” that is taken to the bride is according to the limitation
of her parent’s wealth. According to Hausa proverb that says (Ido ba
muduba amma yasan kima). If they bring the “Gara” the husband
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