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CHAPTER OUTLINE

1. Describe the communication climate in a working environment, identify the messages that have helped create it and suggest ways of communicating that can improve that climate

2. Use the guidelines in this chapter:• to give constructive feedback• to respond to criticism in a no defensive manner

3. Identify various approaches to conflict and steps to conflict management

4. Describe four styles of negotiating solutions in work-related conflicts and predict likely consequences of using each style.

5. Demonstrate how to seek a win-win solution in a work-related negotiation.

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Chapter Objectives

BUILDING POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS

AFFIRMING DIGNITY

ENHANCING ORGANIZATIONAL CLIMATE

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Busybody Butts in to conversations Butts in to others’ conversation Expresses opinion on matters that do not

concern him/her Controlling/Bossy

Tries to control, boss others around Gives orders without having the proper

authority Is condescending/talks down to others Wants his/her own way

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Self-promotion Competitive, wants to be number one Tries to promote him/herself Is self-centered Tries to make him/herself look good

Unprofessional Behavior Is rude Gossips and bad mouths others to a third

party Criticizes others Yells or screams

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Unprofessional Focus of Attention Talks about personal problems at work Brings personal problems to work Talks about non-work-related issues

Distracting Distracts others from work Behaves in irritating ways

Defensive and Judgmental Sees others as a threat to his/her job Attacks others’ behavior and judgments Critical, rather than constructive

GIVING PRAISE

RAISING DIFFICULT ISSUES

OFFERING AND RESPONDING TO CRITICSM

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There’s truth to the old saying you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

A few tips can help make sure praise gets the desired results.

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1. Praise PromptlyMore quickly – provide positive feedback, more meaningful it will be

2. Make praise specific - - value addedSincereWhat is it that you appreciateEmployee knows exactly what is being appreciatedEmployee continues with the good behavior

3. Praise progress, not just perfectionLook at progress – why?

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4. Praise Intermittently – from time to timeToo much praise may not be goodMay sound insincere

Do not go overboard with praises

5. Relay Praise “Singing praise to others who deserve to know” Benefits everyone “Praise messenger” Feel good about the person who praise and “you” for

relaying the praise Team spirit

6. Praise Sincerely Insincere is worse than no praise Serve as a chain reaction on all your other

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It’s usually pleasure to deliver praise, but there are situation necessary to communicate about problematic behavior.

Communicate problematic issues can be difficult because your message may seem like an attack on person behavior who is causing a problem.

Constructive approaches able to help to raise difficult issues. Table 5.2 (page 114)

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1. Use Descriptive “I” Language “You” language – point a verbal finger of accusation

at the receiver “I” language – focus on the speaker instead of

accusing the receiver (also known as descriptive statements)

Use descriptive statement (nonjudgmental) – they are more complete as they express speaker’s feelings and the reason for bringing up the matter.

2. Focus on Solving Problems, Not Controlling Others Control shows a lack of regard for the other person’s

needs, interest and opinion May cause problem in the relationship – even if you

get what you want Problem – oriented messages aims at solving

everyone’s needs To meet everyone’s needs

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3. Be Honest: Don’t Manipulate Once people discover that they have been manipulated,

a defensive reaction is almost guaranteed Simple honesty is less likely to generate defensiveness,

may even earn you respect among the members

4. Show Concern for Others Genuine message of interest can make a tremendous

difference A simple apology, going out of you way to attend to

clients needs may all encourage people to do business with you

Indifference – disconfirming message

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5. Demonstrate an Attitude of Equality People who act in superior manner imply that others

are inferior – disconfirming message No status differences between superior and

subordinate

6. Keep an Open Mind Listening open mindedly can promote relationships People whom you communicate with may have other

knowledge that you might not have-listen out to them Promote healthy relationship Make them feel that their idea are heard and respected Do not criticize before you hear everything

Defense-Reducing: Descriptive (Use “I”

language) Problem Oriented Honest Concerned Equal Open-minded,

provisional

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Defense-Arousing: Evaluative Controlling Manipulative Indifferent Superior Dogmatic, certain

Defense Reducing And Defense Arousing Messages

Sender Chose the most credible critic Make sure the criticism is appropriate to the critic’s role

Frame the message Limit the criticism to one topic Make sure the criticism is accurate Define the problem clearly Show how your criticism can benefit the recipient Remember to acknowledge the positives

Deliver Deliver feedback privately Allow enough time Avoid sounding and judgmental Listen to the other person Remain calm and professional

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Criticism canstart a cycleof defensivethat pollutes the communicationclimate between peopleor working groups.

Offering Constructive Feedback

Offering and Responding to Criticism

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Responding to criticism

Receiving criticism is tougher than giving it. Fight – counterattacking, blaming others Seldom successful Flight – stay away from their office, not

returning phone calls, refusing to listen to the criticism, keeping quiet

Both will not satisfy your critics or help you to understand

Seek More Information• Ask for examples or clarification• Guess about details of the criticism• Paraphrase the critic• Ask what the critic wants

• Agree with the Criticism • Agree with the facts• Agree with the critic’s perception• Emphasize areas of common ground

• Work for a cooperative solution• Ask for the chance to state your point of view• Focus on a solution, not on finding fault

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Sincere RegretUnderstanding the person suffered harmAn explanation of what happened Corrective action Restoration

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A complete apology contains several elements:

Sincere regret—The fundamental part of an apology is a genuine expression of regret: “I feel bad about not showing up for yesterday’s shift. I’m really sorry I let you down.”

Understanding that the person suffered harm—Show that you recognize how the other person was affected and that you’re sorry. “I know it was busy, and it must have been a nightmare.”

An explanation of what happened—Without offering excuses, consider explaining how the offending behavior came to happen. “I got a panicky call from my grandmother, and felt like I had to get over there and see what the matter was. It turned out to be nothing, but by the time I got her calmed down, it was too late to call you.”

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A complete apology contains several elements:

Corrective action—Show that you intend to prevent future problems. “I’ve asked her to call my sister if anything like this happens again, so unless there’s a real emergency, there should not be any more problems like this.

Restoration—Do what you can to compensate the other person for the misdeed. “If it would help, I am happy to cover tomorrow’s shift, even though I am not scheduled.”

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Incivility

BullyingAgressionCriticsmDeviousnessGatekeeping

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Strategies for Dealing with Incivility and BullyingNegotiate with the offender

Appeal to a third party

Back off

Reframe your thinking

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Sexual HarassmentQuid Pro QuoHostile work environment

Avoiding Sexual Harassment ProblemsResponding to Sexual Harassment

Consider dismissing the incidenceKeep a record of the incident for possible future

actionWrite a personal letter to the harasserAsk trusted a third party to intervene Use company channelFile a legal complaint

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•Job assignment•Pay and compensation•Scheduling

•Competence•Honesty•Commitment•Fairness

•How to do something•What to do

•How we want to be treated and how to treat others

What are Conflicts About?

ACCOMMODATING

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AVOIDING

COMPETING

COLLABORATING

Accommodators giveground as a way ofmaintaining harmony

Accommodators giveground as a way ofmaintaining harmony

Communicator are committed to workingtogether to resolveconflict

Communicator are committed to workingtogether to resolveconflict

Avoid the conflicts whenever possible and withdraw when confronted: physically or psychologically

Avoid the conflicts whenever possible and withdraw when confronted: physically or psychologically

Disregard the other person’s concerns, this approach based on the assumption that the only way for one party to reach its goal is to overcome the other

Disregard the other person’s concerns, this approach based on the assumption that the only way for one party to reach its goal is to overcome the other

COMPROMISING

Each party sacrifices something he or she seeking to gain an agreement

Each party sacrifices something he or she seeking to gain an agreement

APPROACHES TO CONFLICT

When an issue is genuinely trivial, or when more important issues are pressing

When there is no chance of you winning

When the potential for disruption is greater than the benefits of resolution

To let others cool down and regain perspectives

When long-term costs of winning may outweigh short term gains

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When you find you are wrongWhen the issue is important to the

other party but not to youTo build social credits for later

issuesTo minimize loss when you are

outmatched and losingWhen harmony and stability is more

importantTo allow others to learn by making

and managing their own mistakes

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When quick, decisive action is vital (emergency)

On important issues where unpopular actions need implementing

When others till take advantage of your noncompetitive behavior

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To find solutions when both parties’ concerns are too important to be compromised

When a long-term relationship between the parties is important

To gain commitment of all parties by building consensus

When the other party is willing to take a collaborative approach

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When goals are important but not worth the effort or potential disruption of more assertive modes

When opponents with equal power are committed to mutually exclusive goals

To achieve temporary settlements of complex issues

To arrive at expedient solutions under time pressure

As a backup, when collaboration is unsuccessful

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Negotiation occurs when two or more parties-either individuals or groups discuss specific proposals to find a mutually acceptable agreement.

A common way of settling conflicts in business

When it is skillfully handled it can improve the position of one or both parties

When poorly handled it can leave problems

There are four negotiating styles available for parties involved:

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a. Negotiation Strategies and Outcomes• Win-lose approach• Lose-lose outcomes• Compromise• Win-win outcome

• Shorter working hours• Increasing employee compensation• Blending business goals and community beauty

b. Preparing to Negotiate1. Clarify your interests and needs2. Consider the best time to raise the issue3. Prepare your statement

c. Conducting the Negotiation1. Identify the ends both parties are seeking2. Brainstorm a list of possible solutions3. Evaluate the alternative solutions4. Implement and follow up on the solution

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LOSE-LOSE

WIN-WINCOMPROMISE

WIN-LOSE

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Win-lose Orientation – based on the assumption that only oneside can reach its goals and that any victory by that party will be matched by the other’s loss

Lose-Lose Orientation – a conflict plays out in a way that damages both parties to such a degree that everyone feels like a loser

Compromise – both parties lose at least some of what they were Seeking

Win-win Orientation – assumes that solutions can be reached that satisfy the needs of all parties.

Clarify your interest and needsConsider the best time to raise

the issuePrepare your statement

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Identify the ends both parties are seeking

Brainstorm a list of possible solutions

Evaluate the alternative solutions

Implement Follow up on the solution

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THANK YOU

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