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Changing Your Life – A Practical Guide A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Change in Your Life
© David Bonham-Carter
Life Coach
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.davidbonham-carter.com
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Copyright
Copyright in this work belongs to the author David Bonham-Carter. If you have purchased the
eBook, you can use any of the exercises in it for helping you to make improvements in your life or
if you are a coach or working in a related field you can use the exercises in the course of your work
(subject to the Disclaimer below). However you must not sell the eBook or part of it unless you
have the express permission of the author David Bonham-Carter or are selling the eBook as an
affiliate on his affiliate program (For details of the affiliate program go to the following page on
David‟s website: www.davidbonham-carter.com/selfhelpbooks/affiliates1.html)
Disclaimer
Changing Your Life – A Practical Guide contains practical coaching ideas and exercises to help
people make changes in their life. The techniques and ideas in the book are likely to be of benefit to
many people making use of them. They are provided in good faith on the basis of the author‟s
professional experience. However, it is not claimed that they will be appropriate for all individuals
at all times. You are advised to exercise your own reasonable judgement about what is suitable in
your particular situation and to seek appropriate independent professional advice if you are unsure
about what is best for you in your situation or if your issues are such that you may need further
help.
Neither the author nor his agents shall be liable for harm or loss of any kind experienced by a reader
or any other person seeking to make use of the ideas or exercises in this book. If you are a coach or
other person seeking to use the exercises in the eBook to help others then you are solely responsible
for how you use them. Use of the exercises in the eBook by coaches or others for the purpose of
helping others is allowed on the condition that you agree that David Bonham-Carter shall bear no
liability for any harm or loss arising from your use of the exercises to help other people.
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About the Author
David Bonham-Carter, the author of Changing Your Life – A Practical Guide is a life coach who
provides specialist coaching support and advice for people seeking to make changes in their life and
for coaching areas that involve negative or distorted thinking patterns, such as confidence & self
esteem, assertiveness, anxiety, stress and specialist relationship issues such as jealousy.
David has a Masters Degree in social work from the University of Kent which he passed with
distinction. Following this training he practised for many years as a social worker and probation
officer helping people with mental health difficulties, homeless people, young people and others to
make significant personal and practical changes in their lives and relationships before becoming a
life coach and assisting individuals privately to deal with professional and personal problems.
David‟s work is based on methods which are acknowledged to be effective in helping to people to
change behaviour that is problematic for themselves or others and he has received training in the
following techniques and methods:
CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (particularly helpful in dealing with negative
and distorted thinking patterns)
Motivational Interviewing (effective as a model for helping people to change or break
difficult habits)
Person centred therapeutic techniques, such as Gerard Egan's personal centred
counselling model and Carl Rogers' person centred counselling model.
Transactional Analysis
Brief Therapy (also known as Solution Focused Therapy) - helpful in creating positive
thinking strategies.
David writes a free email Newsletter of Life Coaching Tips which you can sign up for at
www.davidbonham-carter.com/lifecoachtips.html.
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CONTENTS Introduction
Program Overview
Module 1: Q uality of Life Assessment
Introduction to Module
1.1 Quality of Life Assessment
1.2 Understanding Your Quality of Life Assessment
1.3 Pre-Session Questionnaire
1.4 Planning New Actions
Module 2: U nderstanding What Kind of Person You Want to Be
Introduction to Module
2.1 Values
2.2 What Kind of Person Do I Want to be?
2.3 Epitaph
2.4 Achievements and Characteristics
2.5 Aspirations
2.6 Thinking About Your Needs
2.7 Questions to Consider
2.8 New Actions
Module 3: A nalysing the Change Process
Introduction to Module
3.1 The Perfect Process
3.2 The Normal Process
3.3 Examples of Change
3.4 Selecting Practical Strategies for Achieving Change
Module 4: L ocating Where You Are in the Change Process
Introduction to Module
4.1 Identifying where I am
4.2 Weekly Timetable
4.3 My Control of my Life
4.4 New Habits
Module 5: I dentifying Your Future Vision
Introduction to Module
5.1 What do I want to Change?
5.2 My Future Letter
5.3 The Miracle Question
5.4 Sources of Support
5.5 Working Towards a New Vision
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Module 6: T argets and Outcomes
Introduction to Module
6.1 Distinguishing between Targets and Outcomes
6.2 Setting Quality of Life Targets
6.3 Targets and Outcomes Exercise
6.4 Final Targets and Interim Targets
6.5 Reviewing your Progress since Starting the Program
Module 7: Y our Quality of Life Plan
Introduction to Module
7.1 Creating a Quality of Life Plan
7.2 Forward Planning
7.3 Monitoring and Reviewing Progress
7.4 Your Journey
Introduction to Program
INTRODUCTION
We live in a world where change is possible. Indeed, we are constantly being assailed with
advertisements and images suggesting that change is not only possible but easy. Probably the truth
is that most people have to invest considerable time and effort to achieve significant improvements
in quality of life but that if they do so then the benefits for themselves are real and can provide
increased happiness not only for themselves but also for those they come into contact with.
This guide is aimed at helping you to create positive change with a view to improving your quality
of life by providing a structured framework and a series of exercises to assist you in clarifying
where you want to go, how feasible it is for you to get there and how you can do it.
The program is designed to help you to explore options in a constructive way and to support you in
making informed, sensible and practical choices, so that you can take positive steps on the journey
towards an improved life.
The decisions and choices you make along the journey will be yours and the program encourages
you to take responsibility for your own actions, since you are the best person to decide what is
meaningful for you and where you want to go in life. Where this guide can help you is in giving
you a framework, tools and support to assist you in making your journey.
I wish you good fortune on the path you choose and hope that this guide will be of assistance to
you.
With Best Wishes & Good Luck!
David
David Bonham-Carter
Life Coach
Program Overview – Page 1
PROGRAM OVERVIEW
Changing Your Life – A Practical Guide is a self coaching manual which supplies a clear
approach and program for you to follow to make key changes in your life. The concept of
„quality of life‟ is used as a benchmark for the program, so that you can assess whether the
changes you are planning and making are of benefit.
The program offers opportunities for you to explore and reflect on what is important to you and
to develop and implement specific plans to improve your quality of life in the areas of highest
priority to you. You are provided with seven modules to work through, containing information
and exercises related to the different elements of successful change. Essential forms for helping
you to keep on the path to change are included.
This guide is designed to be used either on its own or in conjunction with coaching sessions from
your coach. If you have chosen to have coaching sessions from a coach whilst following the
program this will usually be provided by phone. Sessions can be provided on a weekly or
fortnightly basis, at your preference, and will give you the opportunity to go through the work
you have done on the program modules with your coach. Your coach will prompt you with
questions and feedback designed to free up thoughts in a creative but structured way. You will
also be given information about change processes and how to take advantage of them. The
intention is not for your coach to give you answers or solutions but to create an environment in
which you can look for and find your own answers and to help you sustain motivation.
Please note that the focus of the modules is forward looking and practical. This is not a
psychoanalytical program where you might be expected to go into details about elements of your
childhood or early years! Instead, what is provided is pragmatic, reasonable support for you to
make progress from where you are now to where you want to be within a realistic time frame.
The modules include written assignments or exercises for you to complete, towards developing
your plans for improving quality of life. In coaching sessions, if you are having them, you will
receive feedback from your coach on these. Completing the assignments will increase the
prospective benefits of the program for you and the speed with which you progress. To ensure
that the plans you create are achievable, the program also encourages you to try out practical
steps towards your goals and outcomes before developing a considered plan to address each area
of life where you are seeking change. If you are having coaching sessions, then at each session
you will be invited by your coach to agree a number of new actions to undertake before the next
session to help you towards achieving your goals and to record your progress on these on a New
Actions Schedule for discussion with your coach at the next session. These actions will include
both one-off tasks and recurring new habits which you want to form part of your new lifestyle.
These two complementary ingredients of specific developmental tasks and elements of lifestyle
change will form the building blocks of your progress towards a new quality of life. If you are
not using coaching sessions you can still use New Actions Schedules to set your own tasks and
regular, habitual actions to complete.
You can complete the Modules at your own pace. Some people prefer to spend 1-2 weeks on
each Module, making full use of the New Actions Schedules after each Module to begin to try out
new ideas before completing their full Quality of Life Plan at the end of the program. Others
prefer to work through the program very quickly and to create an initial Quality of Life Plan
which they can then adjust as they wish. There is no right or wrong way of doing it. It‟s about
what you feel will work best for you.
Program Overview – Page 2
The content of Changing Your Life - A Practical Guide brings together the results of research in
different disciplines into the most effective ways of helping people effect change in their lives.
A structured framework is created for achieving change which is set out in seven modules.
The seven modules covered are:
Module 1: Q uality of Life Assessment
Module 2: U nderstanding What Kind of Person You Want to Be
Module 3: A nalysing the Change Process
Module 4: L ocating Where You Are in the Change Process
Module 5: I dentifying your Future Vision
Module 6: T argets and Outcomes
Module 7: Y our Quality of Life Plan
Module 1, Quality of Life Assessment, contains an Assessment Form covering a range of life
areas and a Pre-Session Questionnaire giving you the opportunity to expand on your own
personal hopes and wishes for the program.
Module 2, Understanding What Kind of Person You Want to Be initiates the broad approach to
the program which is as much about you becoming the kind of person you want to be as about
achieving goals and targets. A set of exercises are provided to help you explore your values and
needs.
Module 3 and Module 4, Analysing the Change Process and Locating Where You Are in the
Change Process explore characteristic themes experienced by many people when involved in
processes of change. These modules are designed to help make the process of change
understandable, and less daunting than it might otherwise be, and to suggest approaches to
dealing with setbacks. These two modules complement each other and can be completed
together. Module 3 does not contain any exercises. The relevant exercises are included in
Module 4.
Module 5, Identifying your Future Vision begins the process for you of setting out what it will be
like once you are living the life you want to live, encouraging you to visualise and feel your
future.
For people who want help to ensure that the plan they produce is realistic and practical,
Module 6, Targets and Outcomes should be of assistance. It helps you to break your Journey
towards an improved life into stages and to clarify the difference between Targets you aim to
reach and the Outcomes that reaching them will give you.
The program concludes with Module 7, Your Quality of Life Plan, culminating in the drawing up
of a Quality of Life Plan to address each area of your life where you are seeking significant
change.
Whilst your full Quality of Life Plan (or Plans if you decide to do more than one) is completed in
Module 7, if you have been working through the modules one by one, say on a weekly basis, then
you will have already been starting to try out elements of change from the end of the first module
when you complete your first New Actions Schedule. Please update the New Actions Schedule
after every module and record your progress as you progress through the program. One of the
Program Overview – Page 3
secrets of implementing successful change is to begin with small changes and gradually build up
progress. Reward yourself for any successes as you go along and don‟t punish yourself if you
don‟t quite achieve something you have set out. Instead, if you still want to achieve the goal,
decide how you will ensure that you achieve it next time or else refine the goal so that it becomes
achievable in its new form.
Module 1 – Page 1
MODULE 1
Quality of Life Assessment
Module 1 – Page 2
Module 1: QUALITY OF LIFE ASSESSMENT
Introduction
The program begins by asking you to think about what you are hoping to achieve and to assess your
existing quality of life, so that you can consider which areas you want to focus on and how easy or
difficult you think change might be in those areas
Quality of life is subjective. For one person a good quality of life might involve earning a lot of
money and achieving a high standard of living, for another it might involve acting in accord with
inner values or having fulfilling relationships. Quality of life is also always evolving. Your views
and your experience are continually developing and as they do so your goals and your values can
also change.
In the first module of the program, two questionnaires are used to help you clarify your
understanding of where you are in life and where you want to be.
The Quality of Life Assessment analyses your life into different topics and asks you to allocate a
score to each, to help you clarify what areas you are satisfied with, how important each area is to
you and how hard you think achieving change will be.
The Pre-Session Questionnaire provides an opportunity for you to reflect on what has led you to
embark on the program at this time and what you want to achieve from it.
Once you come to Module 7 you will be asked to review the progress you have already made
against the initial outcomes you set yourself in the Pre-Session Questionnaire, before you finalise
your full Quality of Life Plan(s), so think carefully in specifying the outcomes you want.
Module 1 – Page 3
1.1 QUALITY OF LIFE ASSESSMENT
Name: Date:
To complete: Give a score of between 0 and 10 for each item
Quality of Life Issue
Importance
to you of
the Issue
(10 = Very
Important)
Current
Level of
Satisfaction
(10 = Very
Satisfied)
Perceived
Difficulty in
Achieving what
you want
(10 = Very
Difficult) 1. Where you live (geographical location)
2. Nature of accommodation
(Standard, Size, Ownership status etc.)
3. Nature of work or daily occupation
4. Relationships in work/daily occupation
5. Your level of income
6. Your level of savings
7. Amount of contact with family
8. Quality of contact with family
9. Amount of contact with friends
10. Quality of contact with friends
11. Amount of time spent doing leisure activities
12. How you use your leisure time
13. Looking attractive
14. Having a partner
15. Quality of relationship with partner*
16. Being in good physical health
17. Being physically fit and exercising
18. Feeling relaxed and in good mental health
19. Feeling in control of your life
20. Feeling that your life has purpose
21. Living in accordance with values
(spiritual/religious/moral)
AVERAGE SCORES (Add up all the scores
in a column and divide the total by 21 to give
the average score in that column)
*If you have no current partner give yourself a score of 5 (neither satisfied nor
dissatisfied for level of satisfaction with quality of relationship with partner).
Any additional comments (Please indicate below if there is anything you wish to add to the above
scores, e.g. if there is any reason why one of the scores given may be misleading or may change
significantly soon):
Module 1 – Page 4
1.2 Understanding Your Quality of Life Assessment
Introduction
The Quality of Life Assessment is a preliminary tool to help you identify areas where you may want
to work on achieving change. What it aims to do is to help you to clarify:
those areas of your life that are progressing well
those areas where you can improve your quality of life
how difficult improvement is likely to be and whether you may need help to achieve it.
Below are some suggestions as to how you might analyse the scores from the Assessment. After
reflecting on your scores in the light of these suggestions, move on to Ex. 1.3 „Pre Session
Questionnaire‟ to contribute your own thoughts and ideas about where you want to make changes,
bearing in mind any additional factors which are not revealed by the mathematical approach of the
Questionnaire – such as the depth of your feelings about particular issues and your level of
motivation.
Analysing Your Scores
1. Average Scores
Below are the average initial scores in each of the three categories of all those who completed the
Assessment as part of a program of coaching sessions with David Bonham-Carter at any time
during a two year period. On the right the range of averages in each category is indicated – i.e. the
lowest average of someone who has completed the Assessment and the highest average.
Category Average Score of People Range of People‟s Averages
Over a 2 year period (lowest average and highest average)
Importance of Issues 8.2 7.2 – 9.3
Current Satisfaction 6.1 3.5 – 7.9
Perceived Difficulty in
Achieving what you want 5.1 2.6 – 7.0
Compare your average scores with the above will give you a general idea of how your scores are in
relation to others.
Module 1 – Page 5
2. Particular Issues
You may find it useful to look at particular issues and where you may want to focus efforts to
improve. Try the following:-
(i) Areas of High Satisfaction
Congratulate yourself on any areas where you have achieved a Satisfaction rating of 7 or
more. If there are no such areas then congratulate yourself anyway, because you have a
good opportunity to make improvements!
(ii) Areas of High Importance
Select the 3 or 4 scores for which you have given the highest Importance rating. For
each of these areas, look at the corresponding satisfaction score relating to it. If the
satisfaction score is lower than 7 it is likely that you will want to improve in this area if
you can (even if it is 7 or 8 you may still want to improve, because these are probably
areas where you would like to achieve as much satisfaction as possible).
Having established those areas of high importance where you want to improve, next look
at the Average Perceived Difficulty in those areas (NB To enable correct interpretation
of the results, please check that you have scored Perceived Difficulty in the correct way
– i.e. by giving a high score if you think it will be very hard to change).
If the Perceived Difficulty in these areas is 6 or lower, these are probably areas where
you can usefully set out your own program for what you want to do to improve the
scores without the need for external assistance.
If the Perceived Difficulty in any of these areas is 7 or higher, these may be areas where
you could benefit from the external assistance of a coach or an appropriate
mentor/advisor to help you address any issues arising. (NB. If the difficulty is around
health concerns then please consider consulting a doctor or other suitably qualified
health professional if the issues are such that they require competent medical advice).
(iii) Areas of Relatively Low Satisfaction and Relatively Low Perceived Difficulty
If there are any areas where your Satisfaction score is relatively low but your Perceived
Difficulty Score is also quite low, these may be areas where you can make an „easy win‟.
The scores are suggesting that your satisfaction is not yet that high but you believe you
could improve it quite easily. For example, you may not currently be very satisfied with
the amount of contact you have with your friends and family (either too little or too
much!) and you may think you can increase or decrease it without too much difficulty.
Great! Go ahead and do it – set yourself a simple achievable target in this respect (not
too high), try to keep to it, then monitor the success of it and its impact on your life.
If there are no areas that fall within this section (iii) then give yourself a pat on the back!
You are already maximising your scores in areas where you can do so easily and you can
now concentrate your attention on improving your scores in areas which are a challenge.
Module 1 – Page 6
1.3 Pre-Session Questionnaire
1. What 3 outcomes would you most like to achieve over the next 3-6 months?
2. What leads you to want to take action now about the issues that are of concern or interest to you
(as opposed to say 12 months ago)?
3. What actions have you taken in the past (whether on your own initiative or with support) to
address these issues and with what success?
4. What are the qualities, strengths and values that you have which you think will be most helpful
towards achieving the outcomes you have set out in 1. above?
5. What are your 3 biggest worries as to what might stop you achieving the outcomes you are
looking for?
6. What specific actions can you take to manage or prevent your worries from arising (if you have
difficulty answering this question you may want to consider coaching support to assist you in
moving forward)?
Module 1 – Page 7
1.4 Planning New Actions
In the light of your Pre-Session Questionnaire and your Quality of Life Assessment, draw up a list
of planned actions that you propose to complete during a set time frame – ideally 1-2 weeks - to
help you on the path towards better quality of life in the areas you want to focus on. These may
include both one-off actions for you to complete and actions that you aim to introduce on a regular
basis as you begin to change your lifestyle to move towards the new world that you envisage for
yourself. On the next page is a New Actions Schedule on which you can record the actions you plan
and your progress on them. Please photocopy the blank Schedule first for future use, so that you
will be able to update it regularly after completing each module (except Module 3 which runs
straight into Module 4).
The format of the New Actions Schedule is designed to draw out the distinction between one-off
developmental actions and recurring actions which will form part of a regular change of lifestyle.
In the first instance it is suggested that you specify a small number of simple, achievable actions of
either type on the Schedule: for example, if your overall goal over a period of time is likely to be to
walk 20 miles in one day, then one of your first actions listed in the Schedule might be to design a
fitness program for the next month some time in the next week.
Module 1 – Page 8
New Actions Schedule
Period Covered:
(a) One-off Actions
Action When will it be
carried out?
Progress on the Action
(b) Regular Actions to carry out on an ongoing basis
Action When will it be
carried out?
Progress on the Action
MODULE 2
Understanding What Kind of Person
You Want to Be
Module 2 – Page 1
Module 2: UNDERSTANDING WHAT KIND OF
PERSON YOU WANT TO BE
Introduction In Module 2 of the program you are encouraged via a series of exercises to explore
the kind of person you want to be, so as to live a life meeting your values and your
needs. Where possible, it is important that changes you plan are consistent with your
most important values or you will still feel a sense of unease or dissatisfaction even
once you have completed the changes. Approaching the changes you want to make
from a perspective of understanding the kind of person you want to be also enables
you to begin to implement changes even before you have achieved a major alteration
in your surroundings. For example, you may be looking to find a new job which will
help you to realise your personal ambitions and do what you really want to do, but in
the meantime there may still be things you can to in your current situation to help you
to move towards becoming the kind of person that you want to be and relating to
others in the way that you would like. You can begin to change your approach now
even if external circumstances remain the same.
It is also important to recognise that needs and values can conflict with each other. In
those situations you will have to make a judgement about the extent to which you are
prepared to compromise on your values or on the satisfaction of your needs. For
example, to sustain your lifestyle you may be working in a job which you don‟t like or
which involves you in activities which conflict to some degree with your own value
system (e.g. if you are promoting products with a higher degree of enthusiasm that
you think is warranted by the quality of the products). It is up to you to decide the
degree to which you are prepared to compromise your values in order to obtain
practical benefits for yourself and/or others or, conversely, the point at which you
decide it is more important for you to take a stand in defence of your values even if
this means losing out on some material benefits. That judgement is not always an easy
one to make. The exercises that follow are designed to help you clarify what are your
primary values and needs, so that you can make these kinds of decision on the basis of
considered reflection.
Module 2 – Page 2
2.1. Values & Characteristics that I would most like to have
(1) Read through the list in the middle of the page, then write down which of the
listed values and characteristics you would most like to demonstrate and embody
in the way that you live (not necessarily in order of priority). The list is only a
guideline. If you can think of something which is not on the list or if you would
like to use a different word for what is listed then feel free to do so.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Appreciation of others Artistic ability Awareness of environment Assertiveness
Balance Being part of a community Being in a team Capacity to change & develop
Chilling out Collaborating with others Connecting with people Creativity
Excitement Financial Management Family commitment Freedom Friendship
Fun Generosity Helping others Honesty Honour Humour Independence
Individuality Intelligence Integrity Intimacy Kindness Learning from experience
Looking after myself Love Musical ability Networking Not taking myself too seriously
Organisational skills Physical health Physical fitness Relaxed approach & attitude
Reliability Religious life style Risk taking Self awareness Self expression
Sensuality Sexuality Sharing Solitude Social conscience Standing up for rights
Spirituality Stability Success Understanding
(2) Give an example of a situation, event or incident in your life in which you feel you
demonstrated one or more of your selected values or characteristics.
Describe the situation below:
Module 2 – Page 3
2.2 What Kind of Person Do I Want to Be?
What Do People Think of Me Now?
Insert your own name at the beginning of the sentence then complete the rest of the
sentence quickly:
„[ ] is the type of person who …………………………………......
………………………………………………………………………………………….‟
What Kind of Person Do I Want To Be?
Whose view does the above statement express? Is it a positive statement? If the view
expressed is someone else‟s view or is a negative statement then replace it below with
a new statement which represents your own view of how you would like to be.
Express the statement in as positive a way as possible. You may want to take a copy
and keep it somewhere at hand to remind yourself of what you want to be like.
„I would like to be the type of person who……………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………………… ‟
2.3 Epitaph
Imagine that someone is writing your epitaph. What would you like them to write?
(If possible write 1 sentence only. In any event, no more than 5 sentences maximum)
Module 2 – Page 4
2.4(a) My Achievements and Characteristics
Family & Friends’ View What would your friends and family say were:
(1) Your achievements &
(2) Your main positive characteristics?
Make a list of their views below:
Family & Friends’ View of My Achievements
Family & Friends’ View of My Positive Characteristics
Module 2 – Page 5
2.4(b) My Achievements and Characteristics
My View Is there anything you would like to add to your Family & Friends‟ View of your
Achievements & Characteristics, which other people might not know about or might
not think of as achievements or positive characteristics of yours, but of which you are
proud and would like to include on the list? Is there anything you would remove from
their list?
Rewrite the list to take account of these changes and put the achievements and
characteristics that are most important to you at the top of the list:
My View of My Achievements
My View of My Positive Characteristics
Module 2 – Page 6
2.5 My Aspirations
Ideally, bearing in mind the kind of person that you want to be as described in
Sections 2.1 – 2.4, what would you like to achieve in the next 5 or 10 years?
What are the main characteristics those achievements would exemplify for you?
Write them out below.
You may want to take a copy and keep it somewhere at hand to remind yourself of
your hopes and to reflect on in Module 5, Identifying Your Future Vision.
My Aspirations
My Future Characteristics
Module 2 – Page 7
2.6 Thinking About Your Needs
Alongside an understanding of your values, when you come to set your full plan to
improve your Quality of Life, it will be important to have an understanding of what
your different needs are and how satisfying one type of need may impact on another
type.
One way of classifying needs is that developed by Abraham Maslow in his theory
explaining human motivation. In the most advanced version of his theory, he set out a
number of categories of basic needs (“Deficiency Needs”) and also a number of
categories of higher order needs (“Growth Needs”) relating to personal growth and
development. The types of needs are as follows:
Deficiency Needs:
Physiological needs – basic biological needs, such as the need for oxygen, water,
food. Also the need for sleep, sexual needs and the need to avoid pain.
Safety & Security Needs – the need for security, stability, protection from harm,
perhaps also the need for a stable job or income and a home.
Love & Belonging Needs – the need for relationships of different kinds, family,
friends, romance, community.
Esteem Needs – the need to have the respect of others and the need for self respect,
self confidence, independence and freedom.
Growth Needs
The Need to Know and Understand – the need to gain knowledge and understand the
world and one‟s environment
Aesthetic Needs – the need for symmetry, balance and beauty
Self-Actualization Needs – the need to achieve one‟s potential and find fulfilment
Transcendence – The need to connect to something beyond the ego or to help others
find fulfilment and realize their potential.
Module 2 – Page 8
2.7 Questions to Consider
It is possible to use Maslow‟s classification as an impetus to reflect on the types of
needs that you have and how they balance with other. Below are some questions you
may like to reflect on in relation to Maslow‟s suggested categories (or any other
categorisation if there is a different classification which you find more helpful)
1. Which category of needs do you most want to meet better in your life now?
2. What will be the potential impact on other categories of needs from you doing
so?
3. What sort of balance do you want to achieve between the different categories of
needs? To what degree do you want to shift your current priorities?
4. What would be the potential consequences of shifting your priorities?
Module 2 – Page 9
2.8 New Actions
You have now finished Module 2. Please complete an updated New Actions Schedule,
using the format from Ex. 1.4 of Module 1, to record your progress on the previous
actions you set yourself and setting yourself one-off actions and recurring lifestyle
actions to follow over the next week or two, in line with anything you have gained
from this module about your needs or values, as well as continuing previous actions if
appropriate.
When updating your New Actions Schedule, review and record your progress on the
actions that you specified in your first New Actions Schedule and refine or add to the
first section of the Schedule any new actions as seems appropriate to you. If there are
actions you haven‟t carried out then think about whether they are realistic and change,
remove or modify them if necessary in any way which will help you to achieve them
next time. Try and adopt a mentality of trying out things to see what works, rather
than of assuming that your first choices of actions to do must necessarily work.
From now on until the end of the program updating your New Actions Schedule and
reviewing your success in completing the actions you set in it will become a regular
feature of the end of each module. I suggest that you keep all your old New Actions
Schedules together in one place, so that when you come to review your progress
towards your outcomes in Module 7, you can look back through them and see
elements that you have achieved and elements where you have had difficulty and may
need to rethink your approach or seek further support.
Reward yourself in some way if you are progressing well on your actions – or tell a
trusted friend what you are doing. There is no need to blame yourself if you haven‟t
achieved something. Try to be practical and see what you can learn from it.
MODULE 3
Analysing the Change Process
Module 3 – Page 1
Module 3: ANALYSING THE CHANGE PROCESS
Introduction We live in a world where many people are not happy with the situation in which they find
themselves, yet are hesitant at the prospect of change, preferring to stay with what they are familiar
with.
The 21st Century is full of media images of success and fulfilment, leaving us with the illusion that
if we do not achieve instant realization of our dreams then we are failures or lack will power or
moral fibre. The reality is more mundane. Achieving change is possible for most people but it
requires effort and for many it is arrived at through incremental stages rather than in a miraculous or
perfectly smooth process.
Towards the end of the 20th
Century, the psychologists James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente set
out a model of psychological processes that people often go through on a journey to change. This
has been used as the basis for assisting thousands of people to change lifestyles with which they are
not happy. In this Module I have developed Prochaska and DiClemente‟s „Cycle of Change‟ to
create a model describing the normal and understandable process that people go through in seeking
improvements in quality of life. In the first part of Module 3, this „Normal Process Model‟ for
improving quality of life is set out against the notion of a „Perfect Process‟ for improving quality of
life which many people have idealized in their minds, which in many cases is an illusory model and
can act as a barrier to change. If you are one of a very small minority of people who have
successfully followed the Perfect Process for achieving change then you probably have no need of
this program! If, however, you can identify with the „Normal Process Model‟ then congratulate
yourself on being a normal human being with the potential to achieve change through application,
thought and learning from both your successes and your failures (nobody is perfect!).
NB. Please note that there are no specific exercises set for you to complete in this module.
Relevant exercises are contained in Module 4 which is concerned with applying the lessons
learned from Module 3 to your individual situation. You can proceed to Module 4
immediately after reading Module 3.
Module 3 – Page 2
Change Process Models for Improving Quality of Life
3.1 The Perfect Process
This flowchart indicates the stages that as individuals we would go through if we were able to
achieve improvements in our quality of life consciously in a perfectly orderly manner, without any
hesitancy, doubt or slip. In many ways this model is illusory and can act as a barrier to change,
because people who don‟t manage to achieve the Perfect Process (i.e. most of us) may feel
disheartened and inadequate. The good news is, as seen in 3.2, that you don‟t need to feel that way.
There is a different, more practical process you can and are more likely to follow, on the path to
change.
Believing
You can achieve
Improved quality of life
Deciding
To achieve
Improved quality of life
Achieving
Improved quality of life
Maintaining
Improved quality of life
Acting
To achieve
Improved quality of life
Module 3 – Page 3
3.2 The Normal Process
The flowchart below indicates the normal process that people go through when progressing towards
an improved quality of life. It is quite usual for a person to „lapse‟ at different points in the process,
so don‟t take it personally if it happens to you! As indicated by the dotted arrows, if you lapse you
have a choice: you can choose to get back on track (using the „lapse‟ as something to learn from and
increase your chances of more progress next time) or you can slip backwards one or more stages.
One of the jobs of a good coach is to help individuals resume progress when a lapse occurs.
Learning how to deal with the possible paths presented by the dotted arrows, whether with the
support of a coach or on your own, is key to improving your quality of life and some tips are giving
in the following pages.
This flowchart is an original creation of David Bonham-Carter. The theory behind it is inspired by
J. Prochaska and C. Di Clemente‟s Cycle of Change and the principles of Motivational Interviewing
espoused by W. Miller and S. Rollnick.
Not considering trying
To achieve
Improved quality of life
Believing improved
Quality of life may be
Possible but not sure
Acting to
Try to achieve
Improved quality of life
Achieving
Improved quality of life Lapse
Deciding to try
To achieve
Improved quality of life
Maintaining
Improved quality of life
Module 3 – Page 4
3.3 Examples of Change
Set out below are two examples of how people might arrive at different stages in the Change
Process Model.
Example 1: Amanda
Amanda is a full time mother with three children aged 2 – 7. Her husband, Brian, runs his own
interior design company and is seldom at home before 7 pm. When he is at home he leaves
Amanda to carry out the domestic tasks associated with running the household and looking after the
children, save on Saturday afternoons when he spends time with the children and one evening per
week, when he and Amanda go out to a restaurant or film or to visit friends. Amanda loves her
family but would like to be able to find some more time to enjoy herself on her own or with friends
who do not have children. She thinks this might be possible but is not sure how easy it will be, as
the Saturday afternoons which she might use for this purpose always seem to get taken up with
other tasks which she hasn‟t found time to do in the week.
Comment: In this situation Amanda is clearly at the stage of Believing that improved quality of life
may be possible but not being sure. It is likely that at some point something will happen which will
lead her into making a decision to act to achieve what she wants. For example, following a
particularly tiring week she may lose her patience and confront Brian with the fact that she wants
more support to enable her to have some free time for herself. If Amanda were to look at the
Normal Process Model for Improving Quality of Life then she might initiate this decision in a more
considered and planned way and create a more assertive, less confrontational discussion with
Brian to achieve help for what she wants.
Example 2: Colin
Colin is a high earning professional who is not very happy in his job as it does not allow him to
explore his creative interests. A few years ago at the end of a particularly stressful year at work he
made an impulsive decision to leave his job and tried to set up a Crafts Shop with money he had
been left when his father died two years before. Unfortunately the business folded after one year.
Colin has now returned to his old job. He feels disappointed that he failed in his venture and he is
still not very happy in his job but he is not planning any new changes, having failed once.
Comment: In this situation Colin appears to have gone through the change stages up to and
including Acting to try to achieve improved quality of life. He then suffered a lapse, in that his
business failed and he returned to the first stage in the change process (‘Not considering trying to
achieve improved quality of life’). If Colin were to look at the Normal Process Model for
Improving Quality of Life then he might realise that he has a choice about whether to go right back
to square 1. Instead of assuming the worst, he could learn from experience and resume the journey
to improved quality of life. For example, he could explore the reasons why his business was not
successful (lack of planning being one obvious aspect) and perhaps seek to start another business in
a more considered and gradual way with greater forethought, seeking appropriate advice, drawing
up a business and marketing plan etc Alternatively, he could explore other less dramatic options
for improving his quality of life which do not have such a high prospect of failure, e.g. Discussing
with his employer whether he can reduce his working hours to achieve improved work-life balance
and if able to do this, then using the extra time to explore his creative interests for personal
enjoyment without the pressure of starting a new business.
Module 3 – Page 5
3.4 Selecting Practical Strategies for Achieving Change
Different strategies are appropriate depending what stage of the change process you are currently at,
to help you move forward to the next stage:
Stage Strategies 1. Not considering improving
quality of life
If you are reading this, then by definition you are already
considering trying to improve your quality of life so will be
beyond this stage. However, for someone at this stage,
appropriate information as to why change might be helpful
could be of use.
2. Believing improved quality
of life may be possible but
not sure
Analyse the arguments for and against change
Reflect on different options for change and the likely effect of
them.
Consider whether there are any small ways you could begin to
make changes in quality of life.
3. Deciding to try to improve
quality of life
Plan change carefully rather than make a decision as a knee-
jerk reaction.
Break your plan down into achievable goals.
Write down your commitment to change.
Think about where you can get support for your plans.
4. & 5. Acting & Achieving
improved quality of life
Follow your plan, monitor and review progress.
Reward and congratulate yourself on successes (even small
successes).
Remind yourself of all the benefits that will ensue if you
achieve your goals.
Pace yourself at a level where you will be able to sustain
motivation & if possible allow yourself some time to relax
when you are not focusing on your plan.
Learn from things which don‟t turn out as you expect.
Make use of appropriate support.
If you lapse, don‟t return to square 1 but instead recognise the
progress you have made, revise your plan if necessary,
learning from the lapse, and then get back on track (If you find
this difficult to do, it may be that you could benefit from
coaching sessions from a coach to provide support, feedback
and ideas).
6. Maintaining improved
quality of life
Recognise that development is an ongoing process.
Maintain and review plans until you are absolutely sure they
are no longer required.
Again, if you lapse, don‟t return to square 1 but instead
recognise the progress you have made and implement a new
plan, learning from the lapse.
Think about whether there is a way you can help others make
positive changes.
MODULE 4
Locating Where You Are
in the Change Process
Module 4 – Page 1
Module 4: LOCATING WHERE YOU ARE IN
THE CHANGE PROCESS
Introduction Module 4 explores the application to your particular situation of the Normal Process for achieving
change in quality of life. You are invited to reflect on where you are in the process and to consider
appropriate strategies as well as to analyse your typical week before planning changes relevant to
your priorities and to gaining greater control over your life. Before starting Module 4 please make
sure you have read through Module 3 thoroughly.
Module 4 – Page 2
4.1 Identifying where I am
1. Have a look through the flowchart of the Normal Process for progressing towards improved
quality of life in 3.2. Can you identify with some of the different stages in the process from
your own previous experience? What stage of the process do you think you are now at in
relation to your own hopes for a better quality of life?
2. When you have identified what stage you are at in the process, look through the chart of
Practical Strategies in 3.4 and think about how you can apply those strategies which are listed as
being applicable to the stage you are at. Write down your thoughts about what strategies are
appropriate for you now. Bear these thoughts in mind in the exercises that follow and be
prepared to return to consult the chart in 3.4 again if a point arises when you feel unsure about
what you should be doing at the current time in your journey to change.
Module 4 – Page 3
4.2 Weekly Timetable
1. Fill in the timetable below to indicate what activities you do at different times in a typical week. Indicate against each entry roughly how much
time you are spending on the activity. If your weekly pattern of activities varies greatly then fill in the form in anticipation of what you expect
to be doing next week.
Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday
Morning
Afternoon
Evening
Module 4 – Page 4
4.2 Weekly Timetable (Cont…)
2. Looking at the timetable, do you have any observations about your typical week (e.g. anything that strikes you in particular about your use of
time or about particular entries on the timetable or any days/items which can vary from week to week)? Describe them below:
3. Consider your typical weekly activities in the light of the areas for change which you identified in Module 1 of the program. Identify 1-3 small
adjustments you could make to your typical week which would tilt the balance of your weekly activities further towards your priorities for
change. List them below, identifying for each adjustment what the possible consequences of implementing the change would be (both positive
consequences and negative consequences if there are any).
Proposed Adjustment to Weekly Timetable Probable Consequences
1.
2.
3.
Module 4 – Page 5
4.3 My Control of my Life
1. Look at the circles below. How in control of what you do in your life, do you feel you are?
Which band of the circles do you usually fall within?:-
2. Looking at your typical week (4.2) how could you increase the degree to which you feel you
have control over what you do either by adjusting what you do or by doing it in a different
way? List some ideas for helping yourself to feel more in control:
Fully in
Control
Sometimes in
Control
Occasionally
in control
Not in
control
Module 4 – Page 6
4.4 New Habits
In the light of your responses on the above exercises, reflect further on what regular actions you
want to incorporate into your new lifestyle to help you move towards a new quality of life.
Building up a regular pattern or rhythm of actions is vital in moving towards change –
remember, if you are trying to change long established patterns you will need to practise your
new style actions consistently so that they become a natural part of your life, even if at first they
seem forced. Learning a new way of life can be like learning a musical instrument – it takes
regular practice in new techniques, but the end result if done correctly is that the music of your
life becomes more beautiful and you come to be able to express things that initially looked very
distant.
Now update the New Actions Schedule that you began using at the conclusion of Module 1
(Ex.1.4) listing both one-off actions you want to undertake over the next week or two and the
regular actions you have decided on above. If you wish you can also create a new Weekly
Timetable (Ex. 4.2) setting out these actions of a recurring nature that you intend to carry out.
This may be useful if the actions are scheduled to take place at regular times of the day or week,
otherwise it may not be necessary and that is at your discretion.
MODULE 5
Identifying Your Future Vision
Module 5 – Page 1
Module 5: IDENTIFYING YOUR FUTURE VISION
Introduction What could be motivating you to change? – Two things:
A. Dissatisfaction with your current situation and/or
B. A vision or dream for your future
Module 5 begins by encouraging you to explore sources of dissatisfaction in your current situation
and to think about ideas for doing something about them. You are then provided with exercises to
encourage you to think creatively about your future and to create a vision of where you want to be.
In the final exercises of the module you are given the opportunity to think about where you could
get help to support you in achieving your dream and how you might deal with possible objections.
Human beings are not machines. Developing the ability to imagine a future worth aspiring to helps
to give your life a sense of purpose, meaning and depth.
The more you can have a positive vision in front of you, the greater your chances of sustaining
motivation as you work towards creating the life you want to have.
Module 5 – Page 2
5.1 What do I Want to Change?
Below is a list of ten areas of your life (The areas cover the questions from the Quality of Life
Assessment (Ex 1.1) – each area covers about 2 questions). Choose one or two areas where you
would most like to achieve change, either from this list or from another area unique to you if you
prefer. For each chosen area make a list of the things connected with it which most annoy or
frustrate you. Try and be as specific as you can, e.g. rather than saying „I want to change being in a
lousy job‟, say „I want to change being in a job where I have to work 50 hours a week‟ or „I want to
change being in a job where I have no choice about the tasks I do‟. For each list of things you want
to change make a corresponding list of what you could do in a small way to improve the situation or
to change your attitude to it so that it annoys you less.
Life Areas Accommodation
Work or daily occupation
Financial situation
Family relationships
Relationships with friends
Leisure activities
Relationship with partner
Health and appearance
Mental health and feeling in control
Life purpose and values
Chosen Area 1:
Things I want to Change Ideas for What I can do
Chosen Area 2:
Things I want to Change Ideas for What I can do
Module 5 – Page 3
5.2 My Future Letter
Select a date in the future – at least 3 months time and up to two years. Imagine that things have
changed during that time and write a letter to yourself describing what has happened, all the
improvements and progress that has been made, your new situation and how wonderful it is.
Please note that your vision of the future can be very ambitious, but it must be possible. If for
example you would like to recreate something you had in the past which is no longer possible or
within your control, then it may be that instead you will do best by trying to accept this and create a
new future – without losing your memories of that past time or important situation which forms a
part of your life and has contributed significantly to the unique human being that you are.
In writing the letter also focus more on the positive changes you have made than on the absence of
some of the things that have annoyed you. Imagine the new situation you are in and describe the
actions you have taken to progress your situation and to create a new quality of life and the benefits
this has brought for you.
In the letter be sure to comment not just on your practical circumstances but on your feelings,
behaviour and actions in the new world in which you are living. Also comment on how your needs
and values are now being met and on any positive changes to other areas of your life if these were
not your primary area of focus but have benefited as a result of the changes you have made (for
example, you may have changed career and found that feeling more relaxed has had a positive
effect on your relationships).
Write the letter on a separate piece of paper or on writing paper if you prefer or if you think this will
help you get into the task. Enjoy it and have some fun. Be creative if you can!
Module 5 – Page 4
5.3 The Miracle Question
1. Imagine that tomorrow morning you wake up and suddenly find that a magical transformation, a
miracle, has taken place! Your world is just as you would like it to be and you have resolved all
your problems or come to terms with all the things that were bothering you. Describe what is
different and what are the particular things that tell you that things have changed? Enter into as
much detail as you can.
2. What can you do that would help you to move even if in only a small way towards the new
world you have described?
Module 5 – Page 5
5.4 Sources of Support
Think about the people (friends, acquaintances, professional advisors, etc.) and other resources (e.g.
organisations, books, courses) that could provide you with support or help you to achieve the
dreams identified by your Future Letter (5.2) and response to the Miracle Question (5.3). Write
them down and the kind of support you hope they could each provide. Also write down when you
intend to contact them and or make use of the resource and what you will say or do.
Source of Support Kind of support or resource
and the help they/it might
provide
When I will contact the person
or make use of the resource and
what I will say/do
Module 5 – Page 6
5.5 Working Towards a New Vision
Update your New Actions Schedule, with support from your coach or else on your own if you are
following the self help program, to incorporate any new action proposals and lifestyle changes that
you would like to pursue to help you begin to move towards the vision you have identified for
yourself and to review progress on actions set in your last New Actions Schedule. If you have had
difficulty in creating a new vision for yourself this may be an area that you might want to have
specific focused coaching sessions about. If you have managed to create a broad picture of where
you want to get to in the medium term, then you are ready to move on to the final phase of creating
your Quality of Life Plan, the setting of specific Targets and Outcomes and the process for
reviewing your progress against them. This is covered in the final two modules of the program.
MODULE 6
Targets and Outcomes
Module 6 – Page 1
Module 6: TARGETS AND OUTCOMES
Introduction
Summarising Progress So Far By the time you reach Module 6 you should have explored your own values and needs, reflected on
the change process and identified in broad terms your future vision. Through the New Actions
Schedules that you have been completing and following regularly you will be becoming familiar
with the practice of setting and following specific actions to move you forward along the path to
change.
Preparing for your Plan
The next stage is to draw up a Quality of Life Plan in relation to the areas of your life where you
want to achieve change. Module 6 lays the groundwork for completing a Quality of Life Plan,
explaining the key distinction between Targets and Outcomes, setting a related exercise for you to
complete and then asking you to identify Interim Targets to aim for on the way to improving your
Quality of Life. Finally, in Ex. 6.5 you are asked to review your progress to date, so that you can
take this into account when preparing your Quality of Life Plan in Module 7.
Module 7 will round off the work done in Module 6, and you will create a Quality of Life Plan.
As usual you should continue to update and implement the actions identified in your most recent
New Actions Schedule, at the same time as you are working on drawing up a Quality of Life Plan.
Module 6 – Page 2
6.1 Distinguishing between Targets and Outcomes
If you think of the process of change as a journey, then the Target is the destination you aim to go to
and the Outcome(s) describes the benefit you hope to derive from going there.
(1) Quality of Life Targets
A Target is a measurable objective that you aim to achieve within a set time frame.
Examples
Examples of Targets would be:
„To move to a job earning twice as much as now within 1 year‟s time‟;
„To be spending 10 hours per week more time with my family by the end of September‟;
„To write a 50-100 page memoir of my life within the next 18 months‟
„To start a new business generating gross income of £40,000 by three years time‟;
„To lose two stone in weight over the next year‟;
If you have difficulty in determining appropriate Targets, coaching sessions may be able to assist in
giving you information about the kinds of issues and reflections to take into account.
(2) Quality of Life Outcomes
A Quality of Life Outcome is the personal benefit that you hope to experience from achieving a
Target: for example, you may believe that achieving the Target of becoming self-employed within
the next year will help to give you the Outcome of increased job satisfaction.
Examples
Examples of the kinds of personal benefit that would count as Quality of Life Outcomes are:
„Feeling happier at work‟
„Being more relaxed‟
„Having more control over my life‟
„Having more confidence in the way I act‟
„Feeling that my life is more purposeful‟
„Having greater sense of fulfilment in my daily activities‟
„Being at peace with myself‟
„Being happier in personal relationships‟.
Module 6 – Page 3
6.2 Setting Quality of Life Targets
There are many ways of setting Targets. Three possibilities based on the materials in this program
are:
(1) Use Exercise 5.2 „My Future Letter‟ or 5.3 „The Miracle Question‟ to develop an overriding
Target for where you want to be in relation to each life area covered in your responses to
those exercises in, say, between 3 months and two years‟ time.
(2) Use Exercise 5.1 „What do I Want to Change?‟ to identify areas of your life that you want to
improve and then set a Target for what you would like to have achieved in relation to each
life area within a specified time frame. If you choose this method, you may find it helpful to
try to find a positive Target rather than to just specify that you want to get rid of a particular
problem or irritation. Having a positive vision gives you a solution to aim for rather than
focusing on a problem, e.g. rather than have a Target to be in a job within 6 months time
where you don‟t have to work 50 hours per week, you might have a Target to be in a job
where you work 35 hours per week.
(3) Use your scores on your completed Quality of Life Assessment (Ex 1.1), or your responses
to the Pre-Session Questionnaire (Ex 1.3), to identify life areas where you want to achieve
change. Then create your own new time-framed Target in relation to each important life
area. For example, if you gave a Current Satisfaction rating of 3 in relation to the first Issue
on the Quality of Life Assessment - the geographical area where you live – then you might
set a Target to be committing 10 hours per month to community activities by 6 months time,
on the basis that you believe that achieving this Target this will give you the Outcome of
improving your feelings of „being at home‟ in the area where you live.
Module 6 – Page 4
6.3 Targets and Outcomes Exercise
Complete the table below, by using one of the methods described in 6.2, or another method if you
wish, to create a Target for each Life Area where you want to make changes and indicate by when
you would like to achieve that Target – this could be 3 months or 1 year or 5 years or whatever time
period seems reasonable to you for achieving that Target. How you classify Life Areas is up to you
– if in doubt, you could select from the Life Area categories that were listed in 5.1, choosing your
priority areas out of that list to focus on.
For each Target indicate what Outcome or Outcomes you believe achieving the Target will bring
for you. List each Target with its related Outcome(s) below:
Life Area Target Timescale Related Outcomes
(Personal Benefits)
Module 6 – Page 5
6.4 Final Targets and Interim Targets
For each Target you itemised in Exercise 6.3, you should have specified a reasonable timescale to
aim to achieve that Target by. If the Target appears to be a long way away from where you are now,
then it will be important to create Interim Targets (with projected timescales) as staging posts to
reach on the way to achieving the Final Target - just as if you wanted to walk from one end of the
country to the other, it would make sense to break the walk into component parts with projected
timescales for each part. An Interim Target is a position you want to have reached by a certain date
on route to your Final Target. For example, if your Final Target is to be generating £1,000 per
week income in your business by 2 years time, an Interim Target might be to be generating £750
per week by 1 year‟s time. Or if your Final Target is to have a friendly caring attractive partner
within a year‟s time, you might have an Interim Target to have gone on a certain number of dates
with eligible partners by 3 months time.
There is no set number of Interim Targets you must have, as this will depend on how difficult the
Final Target is to achieve (usually the harder the Final Target is to achieve the more Interim Targets
you would want to have, in order to break the Final Target down into achievable steps).
Choose Interim Targets in relation to the Final Targets that you set in 6.3 for each different Life
Area where you want to achieve change. Specify these on the form on the next page (if you are
intending to work on more than three different Life Areas you will need to copy the page).
Module 6 – Page 6
Life Area:
The Final Target for this Life Area is:
Timescale for achieving:
Interim Targets and estimated Timescales are:
Life Area:
The Final Target is:
Timescale for achieving:
Interim Targets and estimated Timescales are:
Life Area:
The Final Target is:
Timescale for achieving:
Interim Targets and estimated Timescales are:
Module 6 – Page 7
6.5 Reviewing Your Progress since Starting the Program
Once you have specified the Interim Targets for each Final Target you will be nearly ready to move
onto the final stage of creating a Quality of Life Plan in Module 7. However, if you have been
working on implementing actions in New Actions Schedules for several weeks, I would suggest that
first you review the progress you have made since you began completing the Schedules, so that you
can get a sense of what you have already achieved and take account of any issues arising when you
come to prepare your Plan in Module 7.
To review your progress to date, I would suggest you:
Redo your Quality of Life Assessment (Ex 1.1) without looking at your initial scores and
then compare the results against your original scores to note any changes
Look back at your answers to the Pre-Session Questionnaire (Ex 1.3) and complete the
Quality of Life Review Form on the next page to evaluate how far you have already
progressed towards the outcomes you set yourself on that Pre-Session Questionnaire. This
will help you to estimate what will be realistic timescales to set yourself for achieving
outcomes when you come to draw up your Quality of Life Plan in Module 7, and to decide
what are the outcomes you are now looking to achieve.
Once you have completed this review you will be ready to move on to Module 7.
Module 6 – Page 8
Quality of Life Review
NAME: Date: 1. What progress have you made towards achieving the outcomes you set yourself?
2. What benefits and other consequences have there been for your life?
3. What outcomes would you now like to set yourself for what you would now most like to
achieve over the next 3-6 months?
4. What are the qualities, strengths, values and experience which you think will help you to
achieve the outcomes listed in 3?
5. What are the most significant worries you have about what might stop you achieving the
outcomes in 3?
6. What can you do to help you to deal with these worries?
MODULE 7
Your Quality of Life Plan
Module 7 – Page 1
Module 7: YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE PLAN
Introduction
The groundwork has now been laid for creating your Quality of Life Plan.
Module 7 involves finalising the Plan and deciding how you will monitor and review progress on it.
To complete a Quality of Life Plan follow the instructions in 7.1. You can create a separate Plan
for each Life Area in which you want to achieve change or you can create one plan covering several
different areas, whichever approach you think will suit your situation and personality best. You
will need to decide how many different Life Areas you can work on simultaneously without
overburdening yourself.
It is a good idea to give the project which you are embarking on in each Quality of Life Plan a
name, to give it identity and to help with motivation. Choose whatever name seems meaningful and
suitable for you and relates to the Life Area that the plan covers. This might be something like:
„Making a Home for myself‟ or „My new Career as a Tractor Driver‟ or „Loving my Leisure Time‟
or whatever you want! If there is a symbol that you want to associate with the project you can draw
that on the Plan too or find another creative way of linking the symbol and the project in your mind.
This helps to make the project meaningful and personal to you.
Module 7 – Page 2
7.1 Creating a Quality of Life Plan
To achieve change in a particular Life Area, complete the blank Quality of Life Plan Form from the
next page in relation to the Life Area(s) that you want to address, following the instructions below.
1. Fill in all the details in the top half of the Plan in relation to the Life Area or Areas you have
selected – refer to your Final Target and Desired Outcome(s) in the Life Area(s) from your
answer to Ex. 6.3 in Module 6 and the relevant Interim Targets from your responses to Exercise
6.4 to help you fill in this part of the Plan – either straightforwardly copying them into your Plan
or else refining them to take account of any reflections from your review of progress to date
which you completed at the end of Module 6.
2. Complete a New Actions Schedule relating specifically to the Life Area(s) covered by this Plan
(for ease of completion a blank Schedule follows immediately after the blank Quality of Life
Plan). This New Actions Schedule should specify all those Actions that you think you need to
take in order to reach the first Interim Target that you have listed. As usual, specify both one-
off developmental Actions and regular Actions to carry out on an ongoing basis on this New
Actions Schedule.
You may find it helpful to list the one-off Actions in chronological order beginning with the
first Action you propose to take. That way you can work through the items in the first section of
the New Actions Schedule one by one to ensure that you don‟t miss any. Whenever you
complete one of the actions specified on the Schedule, record this in the right column of the
Schedule to monitor your progress.
3. Under the heading “Sources of Support” on the Plan, indicate people and resources that can
assist you in following the Plan and reaching your Interim Targets (you may want to refer back
to Ex. 5.4). Indicate when and how you might make use of the help.
4. Under the heading “Methods for Monitoring & Reviewing Progress” describe the methods you
are intending to use to monitor and review your progress. Section 7.3 of this Module outlines
relevant considerations. One method of monitoring should be to record your progress on Action
items in the relevant column of your New Actions Schedule.
Also specify under this heading when and how you intend next to review and update the Plan.
At a minimum you should review the Plan every time you reach an Interim Target, as you will
then need to check that the next Interim Target still seems appropriate (refining or modifying it
if necessary) and to create a further New Actions Schedule to take you up to that next Target.
You can use The Quality of Life Review form that you used in 6.5 to review the Plan when you
reach the time set for review.
5. Put any other thoughts or points that it will be useful to remind yourself of under the last
heading on the Plan, “Any Other Comments”.
6. When you have completed the Plan it is a good idea to sign and date it. This can help to
intensify your commitment to what you are aiming to do. It is also a good idea to keep a copy
of each Plan somewhere where you can refer to it regularly, to keep it fresh in your mind.
Module 7 – Page 3
Once you have finished the above steps, you can congratulate yourself. You have completed your
first Quality of Life Plan! Follow the same procedure to complete Quality of Life Plans in relation
to other Life Areas not covered in this Plan, where you want to achieve change.
Module 7 – Page 4
Quality of Life Plan
MY NAME: Date of Plan:
PROJECT NAME:
FINAL TARGET
TIMESCALE FOR ACHIEVING FINAL TARGET
OUTCOMES THAT ACHIEVING THE FINAL TARGET SHOULD BRING
INTERIM TARGETS
ACTIONS PROPOSED See attached New Actions Schedule
SOURCES OF SUPPORT
METHODS FOR MONITORING & REVIEWING PROGRESS
ANY OTHER COMMENTS
Signed :
Date:
Module 7 – Page 5
New Actions Schedule
Period Covered:
(c) One-off Actions
Action When will it be
carried out?
Progress on the Action
(d) Regular Actions to carry out on an ongoing basis
Action When will it be
carried out?
Progress on the Action
Module 7 – Page 6
7.2 Forward Planning
The New Actions Schedule attached to your Quality of Life Plan in 7.1 should take you to the first
Interim Target set out in your Plan. To what extent should you plan ahead now as to what you are
going to do to get to later Interim Targets? The answer to this question will depend on your own
preferences as an individual and on the advantages and disadvantages for you in your particular
situation of trying to plan a long way ahead.
For example, if you are planning a change of career which could impact significantly in a negative
way on your financial resources, then from the point of view of financial prudence it makes sense to
plan in outline at least, before you make any significant change, the steps that are going to be
required to get you through each of your different Interim Targets along route to your proposed
change of career. As a minimum, you should also assess the financial or other risks of taking any
major steps which could have significant consequences, before you decide whether or not to take
the steps. Assessing the risks does not mean that you never take a significant step or that you never
take a risk. It simply means that you can make an informed choice as to whether you personally are
prepared to take a risk and if you are, then you can decide how you want to reduce or deal with the
risk presented.
On the other hand, for some people planning too far ahead can be very daunting or can take the fun
out of the project you are embarked on. This can for example sometimes be the case where the area
of change relates to an issue involving personal relationships or to a topic about which you are
passionate. If this is the case for you and you have flexibility about the pace at which you seek
change, then it may be appropriate for you simply to take one step at a time and proceed to each
Interim Target, one by one, only setting yourself Actions for the next stage once you have reached
the Interim Target you are currently aiming for.
If you do decide to plan ahead as to how you are going to reach later Interim Targets on your Plan,
then to do so, simply go through the different relevant headings on a Quality of Life Plan format,
including setting out a New Actions Schedule, to indicate how you will get from one particular
Target to the next Target, what sources of support you will require and how you will monitor and
record your progress.
There is a balance to be made between too little planning and over planning – you will need to
decide how to strike that balance in the way that is likely to be most useful for you.
Module 7 – Page 7
7.3 Monitoring and Reviewing Progress
Monitoring and reviewing progress can:
o Help you to assess the progress you are making;
o Help you to refine and update each Quality of Life Plan at structured intervals and
when required by circumstances;
o Act as a motivational tool, keeping change and new habits in your mind on a regular
basis.
The exact mechanisms you use to monitor and review progress on your Outcomes, Targets and
Actions are at your choice. For ongoing, monitoring and recording, you should by now be familiar
with using the New Actions Schedule for keeping a record of your progress on short term Actions
that you set yourself and on new elements in your regular lifestyle. You could also use a Weekly
Timetable form (Ex. 4.2) or devise your own form of daily or weekly journal, if you find keeping
diaries helpful or if many actions you are implementing recur on a regular basis at the same time.
For more substantial reviewing purposes, you can use the Quality of Life Review Form from Ex. 6.5
to review progress on your Quality of Life Plan periodically. You should complete a Review every
time you reach one of your Interim Targets (and if you feel it is appropriate, you can review before
this). Following a Review you should draw up an updated Quality of Life Plan to help you move
towards the next Target. At regular intervals, say every six months or as part of a Review, you may
also like to redo your Quality of Life Questionnaire to see how the scores you give for each Quality
of Life Issue compare to your original Questionnaire.
You should specify whatever monitoring and review mechanisms you choose to use in the relevant
section of your Quality of Life Plan together with timescales.
Module 7 – Page 8
7.4 Your Journey
You have now completed all the modules in the program. All that remains is for you to embark on
your journey.
I hope that that personal journey will prove enjoyable and that this guide has been of benefit to you
in helping you to move towards the changes you desire.
Don‟t give up on change – it does not always come straight away and your plans may alter as you
try different things out. That is a normal part of the process and not a sign of failure but a mark of
the fact that you are a living, vibrant human being. By participating in this program, whether you
have completed it in full or read selected bits of it, you have taken a decision to explore your
potential in a positive way.
Best wishes for your Journey.
David
David Bonham-Carter
Life Coach
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.davidbonham-carter.com
Module 7 – Page 9
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