Bringing Out the Best in

PeopleRoy Larson

Founder

2.17.2016

What Do You Bring Out In Those

Around You?In 1985, Alan Loy McGinnis, wrote Bringing Out the Best in People. This book has

had a huge influence on my life. McGinnis passed away in 2005 but his principles are

timeless. I have borrowed some of McGinnis’s principles and illustrated them in with

my experiences.

Have you ever noticed how some people bring out the best in those around them

while others have a knack for bringing out the worst? We all have worked with people

who are in the latter camp…

In this deck, I will shed light on some practical things that we can do to bring out the

best in those around us.

1. Grow In Your

Emotional Intelligence

We have all known and worked with people who are really good at managing their emotions. They don't

get frustrated or angry in stressful situations. Instead, they have the ability to look at a problem and calmly

find a solution. They take criticism well, and they know when to use it to improve their performance.

Studies have shown that people with high Emotional Intelligence have exemplary job performance and

more potent leadership skills.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Self-Awareness – The ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions and drives, as well

as their effect on others.

Self-Regulation – The ability to control or re-direct disruptive impulses and moods and the propensity

to suspend judgment and think before acting.

Motivation – A passion to work for reasons that go beyond money and status and a propensity to

pursue goals with energy and persistence

Social Skills – A proficiency in managing relationships and building networks.

Empathy – The ability to understand the emotional makeup of other people.

2. Give and Earn

Trust

Harvard Business School professor Amy Cuddy has been studying first impressions for more than 15 years, and has discovered patterns in these interactions. In her new book, "Presence," Cuddy says people quickly answer two questions when they first meet you:

1. Can I trust this person? (Trust is the firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone.)

2. Can I respect this person? (Respect is a feeling of deep admiration for someone elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.)

Psychologists refer to these dimensions as warmth and competence.

How is trust earned?

Sincerity: The quality of being free from pretense, deceit, or hypocrisy

Reliability: The ability to be relied on or depended on, as for accuracy, honesty, or achievement.

Commitment: Synonyms: dedication, devotion, allegiance, loyalty, faithfulness, fidelity

Integrity: The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

Competence: The ability to do something successfully or efficiently

Consistency: Conformity in the application of something, typically that which is necessary for the sake of logic, accuracy, or fairness.

Bottom Line: If someone you're trying to influence doesn't trust you, you're not going to get very far. As the saying goes: People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

3. Give and Earn

Respect

What are some practical ways to give and earn respect?

Learn To Listen and Listen To learn If you want to earn the respect of others, learn to listen actively and become a great listener. People love to talk about themselves. Showing a genuine interest in what other people have to say will earn respect.

Learn How To Really Empathize If you can anticipate someone's emotional needs, you demonstrate that you are a caring, thoughtful individual, attentive to the needs of people around you.

Keep in Touch. Everyone needs a favor every now and then, but it's a sign of respect to keep in touch with your colleagues even when you don't need anything from them.

Do What You Say No one respects someone who is unreliable. If you want to be respected, come through on your commitments and promises you make. Stand by your word.

Be a Servant and Offer To Help Volunteer your talents and efforts to projects that need help. Volunteer to do things that need to get done, not just things you think you'll do well.

Go Above and Beyond You can either do the minimum requirement, or you can make the extra effort necessary to make a job or project outstanding.

Be Humble Let your actions speak for themselves. Don't trumpet your own horn, let other people trumpet it for you.

Take Responsibility For Your Actions We all screw up. When you do, own up to it and maintain the respect that you've cultivated for yourself.

4. Expect the Best

How we really feel about those we lead comes out whether we realize it or not. Our attitudes about others often become self-fulfilling prophecies.

Ronald E Riggio Ph.D. wrote Pygmalion Leadership: The Power of Positive Expectations

“As a leader, simply holding positive expectations about team members' performance can actually lead to better team performance. Research has clearly shown the power of holding positive expectations of others. We get the outcomes that we expect. This is what is known as the "self-fulfilling prophecy," or the "Pygmalion effect" - named after George Bernard Shaw's play in which Professor Henry Higgins transforms a common flower seller, Eliza Doolittle, into a lady because he believed that it would happen (you likely are more familiar with the musical version, "My Fair Lady").

The power of the Pygmalion effect, first captured by psychologist Robert Rosenthal in his study of elementary school children, has been well documented as a simple and effective way to boost performance - in the classroom, in the workplace, in the military, and elsewhere…….

Read the full article at……https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/200904/pygmalion-leadership-the-power-positive-expectations

The bottom line is this: Leaders, believe in your team. Hold positive and high expectations that they will solve that difficult problem, meet the seemingly insurmountable challenge, and more often than not, they will meet or exceed your expectations.”

5. Study Other People’s Needs

We are with the people we work with more than any other

people in our daily lives. Take the time to invest in these

relationships and get to know the people you work with. If

you know what their needs are, you can encourage,

motivate and serve them more effectively.

What are the things that matter most to them?

What motivates them?

What demotivates them?

What are their interests and passions?

Where have they been in their lives and careers?

Where do they want to go with their lives and careers?

People understandably get frustrated when they don’t feel

understood or valued.

6. Establish High Standards for

Excellence

The most successful teams have clearly defined standards of

excellence that are modeled and expected. This will produce the

highest team moral and success.

The quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they set for

themselves.

What all great teachers have in common is that they set high

standards for their students and do not settle for anything less.

What all great leaders and companies have in common is that

they set high standards for themselves and their teams and they

do not settle for anything less.

Most people would much rather work really hard for something

they believe in than being comfortable and mediocre. People love

to be on winning teams.

7. Create an Environment

Where Failure is not FatalHe failed in business in '31.

He was defeated for state legislator in '32.

He tried another business in '33. It failed.

His fiancé died in '35.

He had a nervous breakdown in '36.

In '43 he ran for congress and was defeated.

He tried again in '48 and was defeated again.

He tried running for the Senate in '55. He lost.

The next year he ran for Vice President and

lost.

In '59 he ran for the Senate again and was

defeated.

In 1860, Abraham Lincoln, was elected the 16th

President of the United States

What if Abraham Lincoln had listened to all the people in his life who told him

to give it up?

We need to create a safe environment where people know you have their

back when they experience a failure.

Is your work environment safe? What can you do to help create that?

“Do not fear change, change fear” Karen Salmansohn

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude

toward what’s happening to you, and in that, you will be mastering change

rather than allowing it to master you” Brian Tracy

“When you take risks, you learn that there will be times when you succeed and

there will be times when you fail. Both are equally important” Ellen Degeneres

8. Recognize and

Applaud

Achievement

People need to feel appreciated and recognized

for their efforts and achievements.

People love to be appreciated for their

contributions to the team.

A person who feels appreciated will always do

more than is expected.

Why is it difficult for some to recognize and

applaud the achievements of others?

Do you feel appreciated for your efforts and

achievements?

Do the people on your team feel appreciated for

their efforts and achievements?

If someone feels under-appreciated, unnoticed

and/or taken for granted, they will look for a boss

and/or company where they will be worth more.

“Don’t forget a person’s greatest emotional need is

to feel appreciated” H. Jackson Brown

“Feeling appreciated is one of the most important

needs that people have. When you share with

someone your appreciation and gratitude, they will

not forget you. Appreciation will return to you many

times.” Steve Brunkhorst

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is

excellent in others belong to us as well.” Voltaire

9. Build Into the Group an Allowance

for Storms

Sometimes when people are difficult to work with it is because of a personal storm passing through their lives.

What are the most common storms? Divorce, family issues, teen agers, personal health, aging parents health,

financial challenges, overly demanding boss, substance abuse, relationship strife.

Every single relationship and every single team will go through adversity.

Open and honest communication and expecting the best goes a long way toward diffusing potentially volatile

situations.

If you, someone you work with or your team is going through a

storm. Remember the following:

Don’t put things in stone.

Don’t keep a record of wrongs.

Put yourself in their shoes.

Give grace to others instead of judgement.

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control

your attitude toward what’s happening to you, and in that, you will

be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you” Brian

Tracy

10. Take Steps to Keep Your Own

Motivation High

Fill yourself up every day with what motivates and inspires you so that you will have

something good to share with others.

The person who inspires others will also be inspired in the process.

Knowledge is power but enthusiasm turns on the switch.

The power of a daily routine: Exercise, reading, quite time, food intake etc.

The power of healthy and growing personal relationships.

Adventure, hobbies, travel, fun etc.

Are you always filling yourself up or are you running on empty?

Conclusion We have explored 10 practical ways to bring out the best in others.

1) Grow In Your Emotional Intelligence

2) Give and Earn Trust

3) Give and Earn Respect

4) Expect the Best

5) Study Other People’s Needs

6) Establish High Standards for Excellence

7) Create and Environment Where Failure Is Not Fatal

8) Recognize and Applaud Achievement

9) Build Into the Group and Allowance for Storms

10) Take Steps to Keep Your Own Motivation High